I wanted to float a concept about where alien goes after romulus (im confident romulus will be a self contained chapter in the franchise) and guess what, weyland yutani become the good guys!
What if weyland yutani (WY) found out from what happened to david and the prometheus that the engineers were going to wipe out all life on earth and start fresh - existential threat, is it not?
So, WY are actually trying to find out about the xenomorph in order to come up with a countermeasure for ‘when’ the engineers show up with the black goo!
Prometheus - engineers coming to get us using black goo
Alien covenant - random, david and shaw do the unexpected, possibly made engineers extinct ( but there are probably more out there) covenant is unlucky to find david.
Alien - a beacon, just like the prometheus signal is detected, send the sulacco, crew expendable, see what happens, android records most of it.
Aliens - for the greater good, hadleys hope is ‘sacrificed’ to find out what the xenos do when they start a hive, how do the marines cope with existing equipment and tactics?
Alien 3 - weyland yutani want the queen specimen but it slips through the fingers (notice the armour the troops have at the end, they’re ready for the xeno)
Resurrection - weyland yutani are no more? Government takes over research into the xeno, setting up future movies.
So WY are dealing with the threat of juggernauts rocking up one day, and cant rule out more of them being hidden like in prometheus, for the sake of humanity, a way to deal with xenos is imperative.
Future movie after romulus
David is found by a task force, who want him for his research on the xeno, but find the planet he is on full of crazy creations, but they are prepped and can handle it. And, the engineers that were on long term tour of duty also find david, and want to get him. So there is an interesting clash, david is needed for what he has done, but is targeted for what he has done. Engineers pretty much wiped out after this showdown.
Sequel to the above - task force extract david and call for reinforcements, which are ready to take xenomorph prime. Large fleet head there and start carpet bombing. This is where it is discovered the xenos we know are just an ant caste and the higher castes are telepathic and communicate with humans. David is jealous of this, steals a ship and heads to xeno prime to make a deal - merge his body with black goo and offer to save the tele-xenos, take them to a new world.
Complete the trilogy - david is now truly satan, and is a new lifeform evolved past human and xeno, he now will attempt to attack earth himself, but how will he get there? New players introduced? Xenos find the last engineers?

I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.

***Lily***
“Stupid gnome prejudice. I may not be the biggest fan of gnomes but, just because we are small doesn’t mean we can’t cause some damage.” Mogsten says as he walks over, kicks the fishman, and picks up the horn and dusts it off. “I’m hesitant to admit this since, when he regains consciousness, he will do what he could to ruin my business even more but, still, thank you Wabbajack.” He says.
“Don’t mention it Mogsten, this guy’s haggling game was all over the place.” Wabbajack responds.
“Indeed, he has no understanding of value.” Mogsten says with a smirk on his face.
“Well, unless he knew that you had about another sixty of those in the back that is.” Wabbajack says as he chuckles.
Mogsten quickly turns around as he says, “Shh. That’s a trade secret.” He then lets out an “oh ho ho” chuckle. He then looks down and yells, “Gourdsten! Clean up!”
Just like that, Gourdsten comes out from the back and drags the body off. Soon after the body disappears towards the back, Gourdsten reappears with a spray bottle, gloves, and a sponge.
“What happened to him?” I ask Mogsten.
“Don’t worry, I can’t afford a bloody reputation. He is just in stasis until the authorities get here.” Mogsten answers with.
“Stasis?” I ask.
“She really is new to all this huh? Stasis is basically freezing someone in a state of time. In this state however, while nothing can happen to them, they can’t function. Depending on the state they are in when they go under, they may be aware of the environment around them. Sometimes, certain criminals may undergo such punishment for their crimes.” Mogsten explains, looking at Wabbajack for some reason.
Mogsten then looks at me and asks, “So, did you find all the ingredients?”
I nod my head.
He then rubs his temple as he asks, “And you Really intend to go through with this?”
“There’s no other option!” I exclaim.
“Well, there are quite a few, just that they would take a LOT longer.” Wabbajack points out.
I look at him in annoyance and he responds with, “What? Just saying.”
I sigh and look at Mogsten and hand him the “ingredients”.
“Let’s see what we have. A fur scarf, a pistol, a lantern that looks like a child tried to make it, a… rubber duck. And what the world is this?” Mogsten asks pulling out the leg.
“It’s a prosthetic leg for a dragon-sized crocodile. Well, a smaller scale version at the very least.” I explain.
“Who would put a prosthetic leg on a Dragon-sized crocodile?” he asks.
“Right?” I ask in return.
He then looks back at the leg, strokes his fake beard, and says, “Well, when you put it like that, makes sense you would want to use it as an ingredient.” He then looks back at me and asks, “Are these the ingredients that you Really want to use?”
“They fit the descriptions that you gave me.” I point out.
He then looks at the ingredients again and says, “Yes… this may actually work then.”
“Come again?” I ask him.
“Well, one of the Biggest reasons, after that whole dark nature I mentioned, that this fails is that people try to influence their familiar by using ingredients that don’t inspire these feelings.” He explains.
“Because of this disconnection between the host and the familiar, that may also cause the familiar to go berserk as well.” Wabbajack then explains.
“Exactly!” Mogsten exclaims as he points towards to Wabbajack. He then looks back to me and asks, “With that in mind, are you one-Hundred percent sure that these ingredients are correct?”
I nod again and explain, “I can explain my reasons if you want.”
“No. As long as you are certain, then follow me to the back.” He says as he picks everything up again and starts waddling towards the back.
“Would you like some help?” I ask.
“No, I have to prepare everything anyways so it’s best I handle most things from here.” He explains.
Wabbajack walks past me but, I notice he is holding his banjo-thing upside-down. But, its neck is awfully long. Long enough to reach the ground and have the base be about level to his head. Which is pretty impressive since he is not that much taller than me. I want to ask about it but, I figured that is better left for later. Besides, I could probably guess that it can switch between a staff and an instrument. So, I shrug and follow them towards the back.
As I pass the flaps, I let out an audible, “Wow” because the room is massive! There is so much stock in here. I would have never guessed it from the gypsy-sized tent I see from the outside.
I guess Mogsten hears me as he says while putting the items in a pattern, “Spatial compression spell. It’s like that bag you are probably holding. It’s a pocket of space that you can mess with everything as long as it’s registered to you. Any merchant worth his salt at least attempts to lessen the target on his store to wannabe burglars. For example, there was a tannery that was completely torn apart for scrap. I hear the owner left it unattended And unlocked. I hope he can recover from that, it’s a pretty costly mistake.”
I look off towards the side and say, “Oh, I hear he is doing alright. Hehe.”
He pulls out a spray can and says while he shakes it, “That’s good.” He then starts spraying the ground.
I look over towards Wabbajack, who is standing sideways towards the thing Mogsten is working on. He has his free hand about chest level, fingers-spread, and it looks like he has a weird circle thing again like when I think I have seen him do before when he casted magic. Like when he summoned that ghost thing. I guess he is on guard duty.
I look back at Mogsten and see he is about halfway done at this point. He works fast since the design is very intricate. Now that I think about it, it looks like that circle Wabbajack has but… different. I think I remember reading about this. These must be magic circles. While they look similar, they must be different since each magic circle represents something different. Kinda like snowflakes. I can’t help but ask, “What’s that you are spraying to make that magic circle?”
“Ah, someone has been studying. It’s a mixture of compounds for creating the familiar summoning circle. I kept a few around just in case that someone managed to convince me to do this.” He explains. He then stands up and shakes it some more as he says, “I thought it was unlikely but, a smart businessman looks at every opportunity.” He then goes back to spraying and says, “Now, no offense, but mind letting me focus? I got to make sure I get this perfect. I want to lessen the margin of error as much as possible.”
“Oh! Sure. Sorry.” I say. Now that I think about it, I look towards my bag and think about what he said, “Like my bag.” I open it and it looks like a normal bag. Either it needs to be activated or it doesn’t have that spell yet. I’ll have to ask about that after we are done.
“Before I forget, leave your bandolier and bag over by Wabbajack there. We don’t want to add unnecessary items to the circle.” Mogsten says as he shakes the can again.
“Oh! Alright!” I respond. I take off my bandolier and put it down by Wabbajack.
“Don’t worry. If worse comes to worse, I’ll protect you. And come whatever may, we’ll figure out what to do next.” Wabbajack says.
I feel a little relief hearing him say that. Next thing I know, Gourdsten runs up to me with a simple white robe. “Oh, what’s this?” I ask.
“It’s a robe.” Wabbajack says.
As I look at him, annoyed, Gourdsten says, “Robe! Wear Robe!”
Mogsten then explains, “You’ll have to take off the rest of your gear as well and wear just that robe. Like I said, No unnecessary items. Only simple clothes.”
I look at the robe and say, “Oh… There is a changing room, right?”
“This way! Here, here!” Gourdsten says as he pulls my arm.
“Alright! Calm down.” I say.
I follow him to a wooden stall. “I guess I change in there, huh?” I ask.
“Yes! Correct!” Gourdsten says.
I sigh and open it up, step inside and change. Afterwards, after I step out in the robe, Gourdsten then says, “Shoes! Too!”
I look down and sigh. I then ask, “Can that wait till we get back?”
“Shoes! Shoes! He repeats.
I then puff my face in annoyance as I sit down and take off my shoes. “Happy?” I ask.
He just jumps up and down and starts walking back.
All I can think is that it’s a good thing that the floor is at least wooden. I then get up, grab my stuff, and chase after him.
As we get back, Mogsten appears out of nowhere and points behind him as he says, “Circle is done. All that is left is the blood of the subject.”
“You’re not going to slit my wrists, are you?” I ask with a meek chuckle.
“Heaven’s no!” He says as he pulls out a syringe. He then grabs my wrist under these large sleeves and asks, “On three. Ready?”
I nervously nod my head. Just as he opens his mouth, I quickly say, “Wait! Why do we need blood again?” Trying to delay the inevitable.
He looks at me and explains, “A familiar is an extension of yourself. Quite literally. In order to cement that bond, it needs the blood of the host. That bond will allow you and your familiar to share experiences but, still allow autonomy for individual thought. You can live without it but, for it to retain its presence, it needs you alive.”
“Fascinating. Mind going into more detail?” I say with a weak smile.
He then stabs the syringe into my wrist as he says, “No.”
“Ow!” I yelp.
Just like that, he pulls the syringe out and empties it out into a bowl. “Alright, here you go.” He says as he hands me the bowl.
As I stare into a small bowl of my own blood, I ask, “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Now, You stand at the center of the circle. As I activate the circle, the blood will start sloshing around in that bowl. Do NOT let a SINGLE drop fall out until the last item is floating. When the last item does start floating, pour the blood in the center and take four steps back. Got it?” he explains.
I look over back to the circle and then look back to Mogsten and repeat, “Don’t let it spill until the last object starts floating. When it does, pour it all out and take four steps back, right?”
He nods and says, “Correct.” I think I then hear him mumble, “I can’t believe I was convinced to do this.” As he walks away.
I then take my place at the center of the circle. I am somewhat trembling at this point.
“Are you sure, you want to do this?” Mogsten asks again.
“Just do it already!” I yell back.
He lets out a sigh and starts mouthing something as he levels out his arms towards me.
I could feel the energy around me shifting and moving. I start seeing the objects that were placed start floating one by one. Slowly but surely. I then look down at the bowl and it is sloshing around. So far, not too bad. Around the time the fourth object starts floating, the blood really starts flying around to the point I have to actually adjust to make sure it doesn’t go flying out.
After a few more minutes the last object starts flying up. As soon as it stops moving, I pour the blood and take four steps back. The blood stops midair and forms a bubbling ball. It then rises up about level to my face. It stops bubbling and then a flash of blinding light envelops the room and I try to shield my eyes.
After a minute, I slowly open my eyes and lower my arms. What I see before me is something pretty weird.
It’s in the shape of a sphere with a detached fox tail. The floating tail matches the fur of the body of the “familiar”, I guess. Its fur is a golden yellow with a white tip. The body looks like it has a line down the middle, with Very sharp fangs from the top row. It has fox ears and tiny fox paws and a fox nose. It’s got lines for eyes? Either that or they are just closed. Between its ears, it has a lantern dangling from a line, kinda like an angler fish. The other side of that line looks like white gator leather and it has two tiny gator feet. As it yawns, I guess, it opens its massive mouth, showing all its fangs, top and bottom rows, and stretches its fox paws, revealing some nasty looking barbed claws. It’s only as tall as, from the floor, up to my knee.
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Hi guys, I've been a casual observer of this thread for some time, and as someone who feels almost fully recovered after three full years of absolute torture I just wanted to come on here to try and offer a glimmer of hope to any of you who are feeling helpless or like you want to just give up.
People are going to tell you that you HAVE to do pacing, that you can NEVER push yourself and that there's no help, and whilst sometimes it really can feel like that (and I have been there myself) I just want to say that it really can and will get better.
This is all anecdotal, but in case it's helpful, here is a list of the things that helped me the most
CBD oil
Hyperbaric oxygen therapy (there are tons of white paper studies to show its benefits, I promise it's not bunk science)
intermittent fasting (16/8)
cutting out sugar and refined carbs
And believe it or not, exercise. even if it feels like you're gonna die, even if it feels like you're crashing. crash, that's fine - the next day you'll feel better and you'll be able to push yourself a tiny bit further. I really do believe that (despite what people are gonna tell you) pacing is just not the answer. you have to push yourself incrementally.
but the things that are going to help you the absolute most are TIME and BELIEF that you will recover. It is genuinely true that if your constant mindset is that you will be sick forever, your brain will literally make you sicker. I really believe that. Anyway, I really hope things get better for more of you soon. But I promise you, you CAN recover.
xxxx

hello fellow soaders, I haven't seen too much discussion on here about this book. I unfortunately missed the signing in nyc because I was out of state on vacation so bummed about that. Just picked the book up on Sunday when I returned and finished it a few minutes ago so EXTREMELY fresh on my mind.
First, i'd love to hear everyone's thoughts who read it. I'm of course going to be biased because System was such a big part of growing up for me so it is ingrained in my life story. I read cool gardens when it was first released, bought serart the day it released. I own every SOB album, johns album, I even remember the shavo rza project so I'm a SUPER FAN. seen them 5 or 6 times live dating back to the toxicity era. for that reason there's going to be deep bias. I recognize that and would love to see other opinions who perhaps are not as biased, more casual etc.
nonetheless, I have not read many rock memoirs, only this and the maynard james keenan memoir as system and tool are my two favorite bands of all time. while their life stories were drastically different, i enjoyed them both as both have incredibly creative outlooks on life. without diving too much into a comparison, here's what I loved about down with the system
Serj has always had a way with words, though i'm sure there were ghostwriters, editors etc, this is a man who has been comfortable writing (think understanding oil) for decades, so without knowing how much of a hand ghostwriters had in this project, his fingerprint is unmistakably all over it. there is a certain flow and lyricism to the writing itself that one would expect from serj. It is funny, silly, smart and honest. It is well written which is really a necessity for a good book.
the historical deep dive into the armenian genocide really took me back to my university studies on the holocaust. truly the pain and horror felt by his grandparents and the armenian people in that era recounted in such detail was difficult to read, but really important. it helped slow down my own life, take a deep breath and really appreciate the air. I forced myself to learn about the armenian genocide as a young teen after being exposed to SOAD, but hearing the tale so personally was harrowing and deeply impacting. as a student of history, geopolitics, a father and a Catholic, it was gripping. on the basis of that alone I can recommend the book.
as an artist myself, so much of serj's journey resonated with me. the way art awakens something in you. the power of art for arts sake. the contentedness one strives to feel regardless of something being understood, demanded, monetized, not demanded, not understood etc it spoke so much to me. being unapologetic in making music regardless if anyone wants to hear it. i love that.
unlike mjks memoir which did not touch much on music, serj gave really deep dives into inspirations for particular songs (deer dance, chop suey!, war, bounce, prison song)., albums, lyrics, the songwriting process and a more intimate look at the band dynamic through his eyes. In particular, the background to the lyrics of toxicity added an entirely new layer of awesomeness to that song. I have a really in depth breakdown on the lyrics to that song somewhere on this subreddit, and it was very satisfying personally to see how close I was flying to the target, but also to see the inspiration for the song, where serj came up with it and the mindset he was in when he wrote it.
i can imagine if i were the rest of the band, i would be irritated with serj at how they were depicted. there is a clear indication that the band places the band at the center of their respective universes and they are extremely rigid creatively. at times they are depicted as sneaky, petty, profit-driven and at times irrational. i can only imagine daron and the rest of the crew probably have some specific stories to share about how they think serj is a jerkoff too, but there is def. some personal tension that anyone can clearly read in this book despite the band insisting the hold up has been creative all of these years.
i am glad though he paid specific respect to daron. in many ways it was satisfying to see serj acknowledge that daron always puts the music first and that he is obsessed to a degree with the music and doing what he feels is best for the music. as a fan of the music, i really appreciate that because clearly that has lead to incredible moments in the catalog.
i continue to be one of the hold outs on this subreddit that hopes these guys compromise with one another and give us one last legendary album. after reading this book, it only reaffirms what we've all been saying - it seems unlikely. in order for it to happen, serj will need to be allowed to bring more songs. that seems to be the only way and he will have to do more shows than he would like. those seem like two non-starters.
according to serj - daron seems to see serj writing more for the band as an attack on his ability as a songwriter. john sees that as upending the way they've always done things. on the flipside, it seems that the two most recent songs were extremely micromanaged by daron which does not bode well for the type of artistic freedom serj is clearly seeking and also in some ways hurt the songs imo at least (speaking specifically on how high up in the volume mix daron was and how prominent his vocals played).
it seems like the band is on the cusp any minute of announcing that they will no longer play together, and yet serj ropes the fans back in saying that he really enjoyed 2023 sick new world. as a fan begging for new music it was a roller coaster.
Nonetheless, I'm sorry my thoughts are all over the place, I'm just giving my immediate reaction so it's all very raw and I haven't reflected on it much. I'd love to discuss with anyone but overall, I genuinely enjoyed the book.

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

Proof I was here. (As I stated in the first thread, I will not be disclosing this location to any of you. Took as neutral of a photo as I could. If you live here, MAYBE you'll recognize it.)
Link to part one.
Before we begin, let me start by saying WOW, simply because when I passed out last night, I was hovering around ~350 upvotes and had a steady trickle of interaction with people. I was doing my best to respond to the comments as they came in. Then, when I woke up this morning, ya'll...I had over 1500 messages in my inbox and the thread has fucktupled in upvotes, just overnight. I'm so sorry if I didn't respond to you...it was a fool's errand to try and get to everyone.
I also want to address specifically a small handful of you...the ones I was certain would show up in the comments to basically call me a liar or say my story was fabricated. Some of the reasons you gave were pretty telling. My favorite was when someone said something along the lines of "This is too well-written to be true." What a world we live in where clear dictation automatically disqualifies a recounting of events from being accurate. I'll admit that it read closer to a novel than anything else, but that's just how I dictate I guess.
Anyways, onto the update.
I arrived at the tire shop just a hair after 8:00am. There was one gentleman in line at the counter when I arrived, but he was already being assisted by one of the associates manning the register. I took a look around and peeked my head in the back office area where I knew John typically worked when he wasn't being pulled into a bay.
John wasn't there.
As I walked towards the sitting area, I happened to ask an employee who was walking by if he knew when John would be in today. He told me John usually arrives a bit before 9:00am when he worked mornings, so I should just chill for a bit. I didn't have anything pressing to attend to today, so I did just that.
As I moved towards a seat, I happened to glance outside at the working bays and noticed my ol' buddy Eric, who was currently walking towards the main building. When he saw me, I watched as his head drooped down and I could visibly see him mutter the word "Fuck" under his breath. He stopped for just a second, shook his head, and continued walking towards the building.
When he came inside, he set a packet with what I presume was a customer order on the counter and said something to the clerk at the register. He hesitated for a moment and walked over to where I was sitting. As he approached, I greeted him with "Morning, Eric." and smiled. He just stood over me for a moment before he took a chair across the coffee table that was sitting in front of me.
Wonder what his next move was?
Honestly, I didn't expect it, but the dude opened with "I owe you an apology."
Color me shocked, I guess.
Now, you see...at this point about a billion things began to run around in my head. MOSTLY, for some reason, the things that ran most prominently through my mind were all the calls for bloodshed that popped up in the last thread. All the claims that Boomers can never learn and the only language they knew was bullying, which were thrown at me like mortars practically every step I took. Ya'll were bloodthristy last night and still were this morning, convinced that this gentleman was a drunkard asshat, but do drunk asshats apologize after doing something wrong?
Back to the story.
He continued on, saying that he didn't just owe ME an apology, but also the cashier he yelled at last night, and how he had actually planned on returning to Walmart on his lunch break to see if she was working so he could apologize to her as well. In his words "I've been dealing with a lot of personal shit in my life recently including the loss of a loved one, and I took that out on ya'll last night and it wasn't right."
Right about this time is when I noticed that John had arrived. He walked in through the door behind where Eric and I were sitting and walked straight into the back area I checked before. We will get to that later.
Guys, I honestly had no idea what to do. On one hand yes, this dude was a raging douchebag to that girl last night, but this felt genuine. I mentioned several times in the first thread that I didn't want to react hastily and this is exactly why. Had I gone in there and thrown a colossal fit and started a shitstorm, I don't know if this would have ended the same.
Anyways, I don't wish to grandstand things further. The guy apologized, I stood up and shook his hand, and I simply told him "Be good to people for no reason, man. Kindness is free and isn't a sign of weakness." We chatted a bit and had a bit of a revelation that Eric and I have a distant connection neither of us really knew about. I won't disclose what or how we knew each other for personal reasons.
Then John came out of the back office.
He recognized me and gave me a hug. Asked what I was in for. I basically told him that I ran into Eric at the store last night and wanted to check in on him and get an update on an issue he was having there.
That's when John said "Yeah, Eric I need to talk to you about that. I had a lady call me about something that happened at Walmart you were involved in."
Oh shit. I'm guessing either the manager or the cashier called John after what happened last night. I guess the ball isn't in my court any longer.
Eric gave a deep sigh and basically told John "I was a shithead to a cashier last night because I was in a hurry. I wasn't thinking and it wasn't right. I'm gonna make it right at lunch time. I hope she's working today." John then said something I didn't catch and him and Eric walked into the back room.
That's it. End of story. I took a scrap from a notebook, jotted down my "proof" and snapped a photo, then jumped in my car and left.
I certainly hope that this brings you guys whatever closure you were looking for. I'm certain some of you aren't going to be happy with how this turned out, given how many pitchforks I saw last night. But after all this, all I can say is to not be so hasty when jumping to conclusions. People are people, ya'll. You can't really be sure what someone is going through before you jump to judgment. Some folks don't know how to ask for forgiveness or don't know how to take responsibility for their actions, but some folks can. I'm glad this resolved itself the way it did. John knows what happened and knows that it happened with his business on full display, so he can now CHOOSE how HE reacts with that information. I got the closure I needed, and I hope the cashier does too. Time will tell in that regard, I suppose.
Be good to each other.

(EN not first language)
Hello!
About three or four years ago in my hometown, I ran into acquaintance A (whom I hadn't seen or heard from in at least 10 years) who, out of the blue, saw me on the street, and flicked me on the right in the middle of my forehead. After that, I never heard from him again.
In the following two years, I was in a very toxic relationship with a highly problematic guy (roughly 500 km away, where I live right now). One of his friends, in turn, got very close to me, let's call him B, in a friendly - yet pretty energetically draining - way. Once my relationship ended, guy B started inviting me to do various activities with him (going to the beach, the park, museums), always in a friendly yet veeeeeery dark 1:1 social atmosphere. At a certain point, he said to me: "I need to ask you if you know this person", and he showed me a picture of this girl i dont know (let's call her girl C). Turns out girl C is from my hometown and the ex-girlfriend of acquaitance A (i somehow managed to find this out through social media).
Their relationship also ended very badly because she was involved in very strange spiritual activities (i dont know the details), and acquaitance A is apparently very cristian so he decided to break up with her.
Last summer, acquaintance A kept calling me incessantly, saying that he needed to talk to me. We arranged to meet, and he made me read his diary filled with symbols and thoughts, very much linked to Freemasonry. Afterward, I asked him what he wanted from me since I knew nothing about these things. Turns out guy B is also into Freemasonry and dated girl C too some time earlier.
During the talk, acquaintance A insisted that I belong to white magic (!?!?!?!) and that I should preserve myself because otherwise people belonging to black magic (!!!???) would want to circumvent me.
I took it as a compliment I believe, I ignored all this matter because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND SPIRITUALITY AND MAGIC. Yet I have a record of 3 ex boyfriends with families related to Freemasonry (I found out pretty late in the relationship, and now that i think about that i freak out a bit).
The story is not over.
ONE MONTH AGO I went to a party, a guy I rarely talk to stopped me in the middle of the crowd just to tell me I belong to white magic or something similar, and that I should read a books he really recommends because would help me express my white magic (i did not even write down the name of it).
Whatever, I kinda ignored him (He does not know anyone of the people mentioned above, and I dont think he belongs to Freemasonry).
what does all this mean????
what is white magic?!!?!?
are they just nuts? or am I?
Acquaitance A said he flicked my forehead because he perceived high power over there.
Sorry for the long story, but I don't practice anything spiritual nor i know anything about it, yet these synchronicities freaked me out.

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2952 Auspicious Red Paint Pack	$24
Nomad - 2951 Auspicious Red Paint	$11
Freelancer - 2951 Auspicious Red Paint	$14
Constellation - 2952 Auspicious Red Paint	$14
Sabre - 2952 Auspicious Red Paint	$12
Lovestruck Paint Pack	$26
HoverQuad - Lovestruck Paint	$8
MPUV - Lovestruck Paint	$8
Cyclone - Lovestruck Paint	$8
Arrow - Lovestruck Paint	$8
Nomad - Lovestruck Paint	$10
RAFT - Lovestruck Paint	$10
SRV - Lovestruck Paint	$11
Scorpius - Lovestruck Paint	$14
Ares - Lovestruck Paint	$14
Mole - Lovestruck Paint	$16
Ghoulish Green 4 Paint Pack	$32
Mule - Ghoulish Green Paint	$6
Herald - Ghoulish Green Paint	$8
Vulture - Ghoulish Green Paint	$12
Caterpillar - Ghoulish Green Paint	$12
Buccaneer - Ghoulish Green Paint	$9
Cutlass - Ghoulish Green Paint	$8
Dragonfly - Ghoulish Green Paint	$8
Avenger - Invictus 2950 Blue and Gold Paint	$10
Aurora - Invictus 2950 Blue and Gold Paint	$10
Constellation - 2950 Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$18
Cyclone - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$8
Galaxy - Protector Paint	$15
Gladius - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$12
Gladius - Solar Winds Paint	$11
Hawk - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$10
Hercules Starlifter - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$20
Hornet - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$10
Reliant - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$8
Retaliator - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$28
Vanguard - Invictus Blue and Gold Paint	$18
Aphorite Mining Paint Pack	$35
Dolivine Mining Paint Pack	$35
Hadanite Mining Paint Pack	$35
Overdrive Racing Paint Pack	$11
Slipstream Racing Paint Pack	$11
Turbocharged Racing Paint Pack	$11
Aspire Paint Pack	$18
Central Tower Paint Pack	$18
Hosanna Paint Pack	$18
100 Series - Sand Wave Paint	$8
100 Series - Melrose Paint	$8
400i - Meridian Paint	$20
400i - Penumbra Paint	$20
600i - Cold Forge Paint	$14
600i - Sterling Paint	$19
Arrastra - Nocturne Paint	$17🔥
Aurora ILW 2950 Paint Pack	$18
Aurora - Light and Dark Grey Paint	$8
Aurora - Green and Gold Paint	$8
Avenger ILW 2950 Paint Pack	$20
Avenger - Solar Winds Paint	$10
Avenger - Copernicus Paint	$8
Avenger - Kepler Paint	$8
Avenger - De Biasio Paint	$8
Centurion - Beachhead Paint	$8
Constellation ILW 2950 Paint Pack	$27
Constellation - Dark Green Paint	$13
Cutlass Black - Skull & Crossbones Paint	$12
Defender - Platinum Paint	$15
Defender - Harmony Paint	$15
LIBERATOR - VIP exclusive Condor Paint	$33🔥
Mercury Star Runner - 2951 Fortuna Paint	$14
MOLE Aphorite Paint	$12
MOLE Dolivine Paint	$12
MOLE Hadanite Paint	$12
Nox - Harmony Paint	$8
Odyssey - Windrider Paint	$28
PERSEUS - A VIP exclusive, the Thundercloud Paint	$33🔥
Prospector Aphorite Paint	$11
Prospector Dolivine Paint	$11
Prospector Hadanite Paint	$11
Prowler - Ocellus Paint	$20
Prowler - Harmony Paint	$20
Railen - Hyaotan Paint	$20
Retaliator ILW 2950 Paint Pack	$38
Reclaimer Aphorite Paint	$15
Reclaimer Dolivine Paint	$15
Reclaimer Hadanite Paint	$15
ROC Aphorite Paint	$7
ROC Dolivine Paint	$7
ROC Hadanite Paint	$7
Scorpius - Stinger Paint	$30
Scorpius - Tiburon Paint	$12
STV - Blue Steel Paint	$5
Talon - Cobalt Paint	$10
Talon - Crimson Paint	$10
Talon - Ocellus Paint	$10
Talon - Harmony Paint	$10
Talon - Paint Pack	$30
Valkyrie ILW 2950 Paint Pack	$40
Vanguard - Solar Winds Paint	$15
Zeus Mk II - Solstice Paint	$12

 

⚜️ ➤ SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE SETS:

Set	Includes	Price
Takuetsu Replica Figurines	6 exhibits	$35
Kastak Arms Custodian SMG CitizenCon 2947 Edition	1 item	$30
Atzkav "DEADEYE" Sniper rifle	1 item	$10
Yubarev "DEADEYE" Pistol	1 item	$10
WowBlast "Blue" Desperado Toy Pistol	1 item	$8
WowBlast "Orange" Desperado Toy Pistol	1 item	$8
WowBlast "Red" Desperado Toy Pistol	1 item	$8
WowBlast "Teal" Desperado Toy Pistol	1 item	$8
Overlord Helmets DOUBLE TROUBLE	2 items	$7
Overlord Helmets FORCES OF NATURE	2 items	$7
Overlord Helmets SILENT STRIKE	2 items	$7
Overlord "Dust Storm" Armor Set	3 items	$9
Overlord "Predator" Armor Set	3 items	$9
Overlord "Riptide" Armor Set	3 items	$9
Overlord "Stinger" Armor Set	3 items	$9
Overlord "Supernova" Armor Set	3 items	$9
Overlord "Switchback" Armor Set	3 items	$9
Caudillo Helmets Pack 1	2 items	$8
Caudillo Helmets Pack 2	2 items	$8
Caudillo Helmets Pack 3	2 items	$8
NIGHTFIRE - Paladin Helmet	1 item	$6
SINGULARITY - Paladin Helmet	1 item	$6
ICEBORN - Paladin Helmet	1 item	$6
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Helmet	1 item	$8
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Helmet – ORANGE	1 item	$8
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Helmet – LIME	1 item	$8
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Helmet – BLUEBERRY	1 item	$8
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Helmet – GRAPE	1 item	$8
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Helmet – GUAVA	1 item	$8
Fieldsbury Dark Bear Sinister SIX-PACK	6 items	$26
Giocoso Helmet - Azure	1 item	$7
Giocoso Helmet - Ivory	1 item	$7
Giocoso Helmet - Obsidian	1 item	$7
Giocoso Helmet - Triple Pack	1 item	$15
Sawtooth "Sirocco" Combat Knife	1 item	$5
Sawtooth "Squall" Combat Knife	1 item	$5
Sawtooth "Bloodstone" Combat Knife	1 item	$5
Pyro RYT "Ghost" Multi-Tool	1 item	$6
Pyro RYT "Mirage" Multi-Tool	1 item	$6
Pyro RYT "Bloodline" Multi-Tool	1 item	$6
GP-33 Mod "ASHFALL" Grenade Launcher	1 item	$9
GP-33 Mod "COPPERHEAD" Grenade Launcher	1 item	$9
GP-33 Mod "THUNDERCLAP" Grenade Launcher	1 item	$9
Aves Armor & Helmet Set	4 items	$16
Aves Talon Shrike Armor and Helmet Set	4 items	$16
Aves Talon Armor and Helmet Set	4 items	$16
Neoni "Jami" Helmet	1 item	$7
Neoni "Onna" Helmet	1 item	$7
Neoni "Tengubi" Helmet	1 item	$7
Star Kitten Set	4 items	$14
Star Kittyen "SALLY" Set	4 items	$14
Star Kittyen "DAMON" Set	4 items	$14
Pembroke RSI Sunburst Exploration Armor	3 items	$15
Pembroke RSI Ivory Exploration Armor	3 items	$15
Pembroke RSI Graphite Exploration Armor	3 items	$15
Morozov Aftershock Armor	5 items	$15
Morozov Terracotta Armor	5 items	$15
Morozov Thule Armor	5 items	$15
Sakura Fun Green ORC-mkX Armor Bobblehead	1 item	$7
Sakura Fun Blue ORC-mkX Armor Bobblehead	1 item	$7
Sakura Fun White ORC-mkX Armor Bobblehead	1 item	$7
Zeus Exploration Suit	3 items	$15
Zeus Exploration Suit Solar	3 items	$15
Zeus Exploration Suit Starscape	3 items	$15
Xanthule Flight Suit	2 items	$13
Xanthule Sehya Flight Suit	2 items	$13
Xanthule Tahn Flight Suit	2 items	$13
CSP-68L Backpack Night Camo	1 item	$6
CSP-68L Backpack Cayman	1 item	$6
CSP-68L Backpack Forest Camo	1 item	$6
CitizenCon 2951 Digital Goodies	7 items	$10
CitizenCon 2951 Trophy	7 items	$10

 

⚜️➤ SHIP UPGRADES - CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUs, upgrades), some upgrades can be chain in few steps CCU's:

SHIP	TARGET SHIP	<	Upgrade from	Price
400I
	400I	<	CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA	$15
600I EXPLORER
	600I EXPLORER	<	PROWLER	$70
ARROW
	ARROW	<	AURORA MR	$50
	ARROW	<	MUSTANG ALPHA	$50
	ARROW	<	C8X PISCES EXPEDITION	$35
	ARROW	<	100i	$30
	ARROW	<	AVENGER TITAN	$25
	ARROW	<	RELIANT KORE	$15
CATERPILLAR BEST IN SHOW EDITION
	CATERPILLAR BISE	<	VANGUARD HARBINGER	$100
CORSAIR
	CORSAIR	<	TAURUS	$60
CRUCIBLE
	CRUCIBLE	<	STARFARER GEMINI	$21
CUTLASS BLACK BEST IN SHOW EDITION
	CUTLASS BLACK BISE	<	GLADIUS	$70
CUTLASS RED Subscriber
	CUTLASS RED Subscriber	<	F7C-S HORNET GHOST	$25
CUTLASS BLUE
	CUTLASS BLUE	<	PROSPECTOR	$30
DEFENDER
	DEFENDER	<	CORSAIR	$15
	DEFENDER	<	HORNET F7C-M HEARTSEEKER	$37
GLADIUS
	GLADIUS	<	AURORA MR	$65
	GLADIUS	<	MUSTANG ALPHA	$65
	GLADIUS	<	C8X PISCES EXPEDITION	$50
	GLADIUS	<	100i	$45
	GLADIUS	<	AVENGER TITAN	$40
	GLADIUS	<	RELIANT KORE	$30
	GLADIUS	<	ARROW	$20
HAMMERHEAD
	HAMMERHEAD	<	CARRACK	$150
	HAMMERHEAD	<	CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	$100
HULL C
	HULL C	<	CATERPILLAR	$175
MERCHANTMAN
	MERCHANTMAN	<	STARFARER GEMINI	$300
	MERCHANTMAN	<	ARGO MOLE	$345
NAUTILUS
	NAUTILUS	<	CARRACK	$175
PERSEUS
	PERSEUS	<	CARRACK Expedition W/C8X	$40
	PERSEUS	<	CARRACK	$90
	PERSEUS	<	ORION	$115
	PERSEUS	<	600I EXPLORER	$220
	PERSEUS	<	MERCHANTMAN	$248
	PERSEUS	<	ARGO MOLE	$380
	PERSEUS	<	ANDROMEDA	$485
POLARIS
	POLARIS	<	PERSEUS	$70
	POLARIS	<	HAMMERHEAD	$70
	POLARIS	<	NAUTILUS	$60
	POLARIS	<	CARRACK	$250
RECLAIMER BIS 2949
	RECLAIMER BIS 2949	<	VALKYRIE	$300
SAN'TOK.YĀI
	SAN'TOK.YĀI	<	HORNET F7C-M HEARTSEEKER	$37

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

⛵CLICK HERE TO PLACE AN ORDER ⛵

Hi, first time having my own health insurance.
So for starters, I have UHC high deductible insurance and have met it already, if that helps.
Sometimes, when I go to a doctors appointment, they won’t bill me up front and sometimes they do. For the ones that don’t make me pay upfront, they say that I’ll get billed through my health insurance. So I go to my UHC portal to pay, and looked through all my claims. And in the claims in the portal, all it shows is the EOB and what I should’ve paid for the service. It also doesn’t have a way to know if you paid up front or not so it has a box that you can check that says whether you paid it up front already. Very unorganized and very confusing because like why wouldn’t they know if I paid it ?? idk?
For example, I got an order for a MRI at a hospital I’ve never been to before. The hospital never sent me a bill, and the portal had a claim that told me how much I should’ve paid for the mri. If the hospital never sent me a bill, and I have the ability to mark that I already paid it. Then is there a way to just not pay for things ??? (I paid it btw like a good citizen but still). And if I didn’t pay it would I just have random debt left and right and my social security score is going to tank? Like is there consequences to this? I’ve been on top of it so far but I’m human and will likely slip soon like will I go to jail? Or be denied a loan in the future because I didn’t pay a medical bill 10 years prior. Who’s keeping track of all this and what’s going on? How am I able to walk out of there without anyone making me pay anything that’s so weird?
Another example, I went to a new doctors office and presented my insurance. At the end of the appointment, they made me pay upfront like $100 or so. When I went to the portal to mark the claim as paid, it said that I should have only paid $75. ??? like ??? This really doesn’t make sense to me like I feel like everyone’s just making up numbers and going with it. I was able to get my money back from the doctors office but this same scenario has happened yet again with a different office where I paid more than I should’ve. And they never told me I paid more than I should’ve too I had to call them !!! Like they’re robbing me atp. Idk what’s happening guys. I don’t understand insurance.
I hope that explanation makes sense. Please help me with this if anyone has any experience.

How Pehchaan the Street School emerged thus became a light that keeps emphasizing the hope and capacitation of underprivileged children for almost a decade. The institution fulfills its function of supplying good education and love through its unyielding commitment, and so it has changed many lives. The latest victory of Deepak presents the world with the indomitable spirit and unshakeable resolve portrayed by the group of talented students and the hard-working management of Pehchaan The Street School.
Deepak embarked on his journey four years ago with a bold challenge to the founder: the satisfaction of having a laptop as long as he scored 75% or more in the 12th standard. With Pehchaan The Street School’s encouragement, Deepak did what was thought impossible and scored 83%, which is unbelievable. His mastery does not only mean victory over himself but also represents the collective victory of any Pehchaan The Street School student.
For Deepak, the first one from his family to get through the 12th grade boards is recognition of the success of Pehchaan's efforts. Through remarkable high scores in the fields of economics and leadership, he has always succeeded in making his family and the entire Pehchaan The Street School community proud. After all, this accomplishment has been the direct outcome of the team's everlasting supporter and mentor roles in the process that made Deepak what he is now.
The profile of the school, Pehchaan The Street School has worked to give underprivileged children a voice. The organization has been performing roles such as providing access to quality education and fostering a supportive environment, and it has made an impact on the lives of affected students. Deepak's victory, although just one feat among many, is symbolic of many triumphs attained throughout the Pehchaan The Street School team's, students, and supporters combined effort.
Pehchaan The Street School platform includes a website, YouTube channel, and Instagram account as well, where the school community promotes their inspiring and successful stories about various initiatives and graduates’ achievements. Through these platforms, the organization is giving its audience the opportunity to see the whole process, from its students accomplishments to the overall struggles that take the team forward.
While there is such narration, Krish’s journey into Pehchaan The Street School, started seven years ago when he was in school and later dropped out. Krish takes advantage of his connection with the organization and blooms as an artist, and he is also studying through open education or correspondence education now. Through the life story of a boy who eventually won specialized education and support, the protagonist of the play showcases the power of the school in its ability to identify untapped talents.
Just like Raj, a 6th grader, students and teachers are interconnected in such a way that beautifully defines the term “Pehchaan”.The fact that he distances himself from his unsupportive family in favor of learning reveals that there is a really nurturing environment at the organization.
Likewise, Ayush, a fourth-grade student, shows how much pupils love and respect their teacher in class. The students feel confident and secure when they interact with those that they trust. The organization enacted his motivation to study to become a doctor since it set up a sustainable environment for his growth.
This echoes the endeavor of Pehchaan The Street School, which is unique in that it wants all of its students to chase their dreams and to be able to realize them. Moreover, the bright future of Pehchaan The Street School, as imagined by Himanshi and Deepanshi, two of its students, is a mirror of what the organization is all about.
Through Rajvir's transformation as a learner who had difficulty with basic school concepts emerging as a student from Delhi's popular school, the organization not only proved its capacity to recognize and nurture talents but also substantiated its strengths as a knowledge provider and capacity builder.
The emotional exclamation of the founder, "GUYS, we did it!!!!" beautifully entangles the story and the whole Pehchaan The Street School community. Profoundly, Deepak's achievement is not only about him; it's a celebration of what the collective efforts of everyone involved in the process have achieved. These feelings of pride and the overall sense of completion leave no doubt about the purpose behind the non-profit's drive to help underprivileged children.
Walking alongside Pehchaan The Street School in this journey of emancipation, the tales of Deepak, Krish, Raj, Kush, Himanshi, Deepanshi, and Rana exemplify the force of education and emancipation. In addition, these stories show an organization’s profound capacity to create an environment where young talents can grow and less privileged students can achieve their full potential.
Ending up in the epitome of the power of group cooperation and the effect of education, the path of Pehchaan The Street School corroborates. Along with the project stories of its past alumni, the organization encourages the audience to keep in mind the organization’s dedication to making changes in the lives of unprivileged children. Pehchaan The Street Schools’ legacy of enabling will continue to grow on the shoulders of these children, and eventually, we can help to create a better tomorrow for everyone. "Knowledge is the true organ of sight, not the eyes." Swami Vivekananda.
To learn more about our goal and how we have changed lives, please visit: Website: https://pehchaanstreetschool.org Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXd4gnTazJh3JugKENt5yog Instagram: @pehchaanstreetschool For any queries, you can also contact: +91 9711718972
Come with us, and together, let us help these children reach all their potential. Your assistance can be a life changer!

EmpoweringYoungLives

EducationForAll

StreetSchoolsMatter

EmpowermentThroughEducation

SupportingUnderprivilegedChildren

It's a long story. Please bear with me, my mind is really chaotic right now. I am in college and have a circle of female friends since the first semester. All of us went to the same major. This year will be our 4th year being a group of friends together. I cherished them a lot, they helped me a lot and one of the reasons I survived college so far.
Then came the guy. It's a little too common actually. I first got close with this guy when we're in our second year, that's on 2021. The classes were still held online due to COVID back then, so we actually never see each other in real life. He was a quiet, shy guy who didn't get noticed by others, and as the class' leader, I contacted him a lot to make sure he didn't feel leave out since the others were joking around frequently in the class' group chat. From that, he began to ask me if I already have a partner for group assigments (there were quite a lot of assigments for group of 2 people) and since my other friends know other people too, I said yes. We began to become a duo for every group assignments. He was responsible and working together with him was pretty enjoyable. We began to talk everyday about random things to each other. We even played game together. I considered him as a close friend at this point.
Then, I introduced him to one of my close friends since she also plays the game we played together. I didn't actually know the extend of their interactions, just that he helped her in game sometimes and I guess they played from time to time without me too. Then, one day in 2022, my class had a first gathering where we booked a villa and held many games and gift trades, you know the thing you did to create a bond since it's our first meeting as classmates due to the pandemic. I was very shy at the thought of seeing him in real life for the first time (he actually a good looking, he got really popular among the girls in my major after this gathering) and pretended not to see him, yet he walked up to me first and greeted me. That time was ... really magical. The villa was located in an mountain area so it was really cold and he gave me his hoodie since I got cold easily. We took a lot of photos together at that time, and it seemed everyone in our year already treated us like a "campus couple" because of that. I, of course, denied that I like him and said that we're only good friends because ... a girl like me is afraid of rejection and reading the signs wrong.
But after the gathering ended, one of my close friends (the one that I introduced to him to play game together before) suddenly announced to our female friends group that she has a crush on him. Little by little, she began to show hostility to me then there was this one point when she ignored me for two months. Even when I tried to talk to her in, she didn't give me respond. At that time, I was scared I will ruin this friendship groups. I was longing for female friendships, the thing you saw in movies, and I finally have one when I entered college so I saw them as a blessing. In high school, I either got bullied or not having friends at all since I was always coming straight home after school ended (I came from a poor family so I didn't have the money to hang out and friendship in high school requires money for me since I attended a prestigious school where almost everyone has rich parents). So, I made a decision to cut him off. I stopped talking to him. For group assignment, I grouped with other people. Little by little, the distance between the two of us widened. In the end, we didn't talk to each other anymore, and that's when my friend started to talk to me again. I didn't ruin my friendship group. My friend and him got close and by then she already "replaced" me being his group assignment's partner. I let him go, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to date anyway since I was busy doing part-times to earn money. He came from a good family, and so does my close friend. They suited each other. I won't become a girl who abandoned her friend for a guy. Since summer of 2023, I never had a talk with him again.
I was fine, well not really. It hurt not being able to talk to him again when we used to be close, but I did this to myself. My close friend talked about him a lot in our group's chats. Apparently, she already confessed twice and got rejected. But she wanted to stay as a friend so both of them were "best friends" until now. She told us she still held feelings for him. She sent him flowers on his graduation since he graduated early than us. I didn't. Yet, he approached me and asked me to take photo together. After 1 year of no contact. On his graduation day, he asked me to take photos together, just two of us. With everyone watching.
Later, he confessed to me that he always has feelings for me. It was ... not quite a shock since I wasn't that dense, but still ... I got nauseous. Part of me wants him too, but the realistic part of me reminding me that I couldn't be that kind of girl who betrayed her close friend. I told him, I couldn't. I got a lot in my plates, I haven't graduated yet, I am not ready for relationship ... all the reasons because I couldn't bring myself to lie that I don't like him. Because I do. Very much. For years. He was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He said he could wait until I graduate. He was waiting for me for the past 2 years, waiting a few months won't matter much.
What should I do? Should I confess everything to my friendship group? I want to talk to my friends about this, to hear their thoughts, but I couldn't because I always kept my feelings for him as a secret. Then, how about my friendships? My close friend who likes him will definitely got hurt ... am I just not suitable for friendships, since I wasn't honest? If you were in my position, will you choose your crush or your close friend?
(Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.)

The brawl between multiple servants and masters was about to begin. Everyone stood eyes glancing around towards one another.
Archer: I’d rather first kill the rift raft!
portals appeared aiming at Assassin and in a brilliant show of power, several weapons popped out of the portals shooting at Assassin who could barely dodge all!
Ky: Is that his noble phantasms?!
Leo: Noble what?!
Saber: Do you seriously not know yet master!?
Leo: Nobody told me!
Ky: I guess it slipped my mind… think of them like a servant's ultimate move! Based on their legends or what they are most remembered for!
Leo: HUH?!
Saber: But his noble phantasm seems to be other noble phantasms!
Archer: Die you filthy mongrel!
Assassin was insanely fast even still managing to dodge even just barely the many chains, swords, axes, spears, and so on.
Meanwhile, Berserker began charging toward Leo! Saber would easily block the attack and deflect the blow of Berserker’s sword! She went to stab the purple-haired servant but she dodged to the left.
Saber: I shall keep you safe even still master!
Leo: OK Saber!
Ky: Damn it… Leo just back up.
Leo and Ky hid behind Saber and Lancer both charging forward giving Berserker quite the challenge at the same time. Until Katie picked up a few rocks from her pocket and tossed them at Saber freezing her arm and leg in place.
Saber: Magic crystals?!
Ky: Damn it… TRANSPORTATION!
Ky would summon a car above Katie that crashed into her!
Katie: Ugh! God damn it! Berserker! Help me!
But her Berserker was struggling to keep pace with the faster Lancer. Tied with Assassin for the fastest servant in this war. Lancer kicked Berserker in the leg before cutting them across the chest.
Archer: That boy…
He saw what Ky did. He threw his own master and Leo who caught Pat in mid-air crashing into the old rickety wood of the docks. Archer would ignore the tired Assassin and turn his portals towards Ky.
Archer: Give me the best you got!
Several swords flung down from his portals toward Ky who dodged with extreme difficulty. He grabbed one of the swords mid-air and threw it back at the golden armor servant who swatted it away with his hand.
Archer: You dare touch one of my treasures? Fine, then I shall make your death painful!
Ky(thoughts): How the hell do I beat this guy-
Ky’s mind stopped thinking for a moment as he was grabbed and dragged into the city with Lancer and Saber unable to stop him.
Leo: PAT GET YOUR SERVANT TO BRING HIM BACK!
Pat: L-Leo I can't!

Ky wasn't sure what to do as Archer threw him into a car denting the vehicle…
Ky: Remember what he said... VISUALIZE!
Archer: What are you blabbering about you mongerl?
More portals opened up shooting a rain of axes, swords, and saws that Ky dodged expertly.

Elegant: Get strong enough to surpass me…

Ky: I NEED TO GET STRONGER THAN HIM! Nature!
Several trees spawned and protected Ky from the many weapons for a few seconds allowing him to visualize... But a spear ripped through the trees and went straight for Ky’s head but with an outstretched arm at the last possible moment he let himself block the spear letting stab through his hand rather than his head!
Archer: You are shocking strong!
Ky: VISUALIZE! WAR!
A tank spawned behind Ky and shot at Archer who wasn't even hurt. With a flick of his wrist and some lances destroyed the tank that blew up sending Ky only a few feet in front of the floating Archer.
Ky: Heh… fine.
He learned how to expand his interpretation in a moment of desperation learning to make life from mana.
Ky: Summoning living creatures is hard… maybe that's why I could never spawn certain things before… but fuck it! WAR! the FUCKING HOLY GRAIL WAR!
In a desperate gamble, Ky had summoned a large monster behind him.
Ky: Fine then there's my servant...
Ky crashed the the ground all his mana being used to support the existence of his summon.
Archer: I was right… you weren't boring!

(teaser!) Leo: KY THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Ky: MY FINAL STAND!
Saber: Are you insane you might die!
Ky: I was going to die either way…
Leo: Stick around when we continue in Holy Grail War: Rock Smash!

This is for the guy trying to say not to give money to homeless people flying a sign. This my personal experience from being homeless in Wilmington. I can't say as I speak for everyone, just my experience. 

I'm still homeless, but I've moved out of Wilmington. I had to teach myself how to read and write all over again, and this is what I do now. I hope you enjoy.

 Six-thirty am, I woke up to my alarm. I had to be at work at nine, and I didn't want to be frazzled from being in panic mode on my first day, hurried, and hassled. No, sir. You don't get too many chances to make a first impression. 

 Rolled out of my sleeping bag with a smooth, well practiced motion, unzipped the flap, and made my way out into brisk spring morning air, taking a brief pause, taking in the natural beuaty of the forest. If it hadn't been for the sounds of the highway a few hundred yards away, this scene could have been from a camping trip or hike that I remembered from days gone by. I didn't pause to think about too long due to the urgency to find a suitable tree to relieve myself. Fifty feet, at least. Fifty feet. Otherwise, that smell could come back to haunt you. This wasn't a camping trip but rather where I lived. My homestead, abode, residence, shelter, and as far as I could tell, it would be for a long time to come. 

 I decided to drink my energy drink, which had come to replace my morning cup of brew, outside this fine morn, so I made my way back to the tent and pulled my Monster can and my half full box of handrolled cigarettes from their hiding places, turned around and walked the fifteen feet to my "visiting bench". Aptly named because that's where we all sat when someone came visiting, which wasn't very often, a few feet in front was the small firepit. A hundred or so yards beyond, down a respectable hill, sat Frankies tent, another fifty yards at the split in the trail was Chris's small pup tent, where a small pile of trash meant that Chris and I needed to talk. This was my site, and I had few rules, and trash was something I didn't want to see. 

 According to the rules out here, our social contract, the first person at a campsite was in charge and I had spent the last month of winter all alone here to earn the right to call the shots. After all, it was deemed The Allen Compound for the Criminally Insane by my friend who led a real boots on the ground street outreach in town, someone that I had insane respect for and not a small bit of love. We weren't. I won't speak to insane. 

 I took a seat on the bench, popped the top on the Monster, lit up a smoke, and took a big long pull of the drink. Spring was starting to show now, and the highway was slowly starting to hide behind the new growth of forest. My tent was already invisible from the road thanks to a large camouflaged tarp that I had strung to block the view once I recovered from the panic attack following the discovery of how visible it once was. That discovery came not long after I set up camp, as I was returning from town. Walking down the shoulder of the highway, I just happened to look up in the direction of my camp and saw that my tent sat in the middle of a big clearing of branches, making a perfect frame for my work of art. The realization that thousands of people could have seen that on a daily basis. I was live bait for any psychotic person or persons to visit on a full moon. Recalling the stories of people setting sleeping people on fire for the fun of watching a human cook, I instantly turned on my heels and headed back into town, a spy who just realized he'd been compromised. I didn't return until I had a tarp, but even then, it was some time before sleep came easy. 

 Seven am and the spring sun were now spreading its rays of love to its children in the forest undergrowth, letting everything know it was day shift now in the kingdom. Down below, I spied Frankie, who piled out of his tent and sprinted to a tree like his bladder had caught fire. At the sight of this, I barked three times in greeting. He threw his head back and made a rooster crow, knowing it would wake Chris up long enough to feel the urgency. And by the time I stood up finish the last bit of my morning nectar, sure enough, scrambled out of his tent and instantly let it go right beside where his head would lay when he slept. I shook my head and trudged to my place to change clothes. A light blue polo type short sleeve tucked neatly into my cleanest pair of jeans, then a long sleeve light flannel over that as a precaution, because a lesson learned early is that you dressed for all day. There was no going home to get a coat when the temps plummeted, so it was wise to have that coat ready at all times. I changed my socks, put on my shoes and out of the flap I went. I closed it up and placed a pine needle inside the zipper that would let me know when I got back if anyone had violated my space. 

Seven ten am, and I was on my way. I had fourty minutes to be at the bus stop a little over a mile from the camp and I didn't want to be late, so off I went down the trail, just past Frankies tent I took a left, pausing just long enough to notice that Chris had gone back to bed and left his flap door open, then another fifty yard and over the fence to what I referred to as the 'exposed zone'. There, I was out of the woods walking down a small trail hidden only from the waist down by overgrown weeds and grass. The exposed zone went about a hundred and fifty yards to the shoulder of the highway, where I would merge left, facing the oncoming traffic. At that point, it wouldn't be so obvious to passing cars that I had just emerged from the woods, and the exact spot would no doubt be a mystery. There, my pace stepped up to an average of four miles an hour, something that I had clocked many times, and these days, it was a knowledge that came in handy. I could deal with being homeless, but not tardy. Every minute I walked along the shoulder of the highway, I was fraught with danger, at least in my overactive brain. I could envision cars swerving to miss the car ahead and turning me into a hood ornament, or blowing a tire and taking me out when the driver loses control for that half a second. Maybe something would fall out of the many dump trucks that passed frequently at seventy miles an hour and cleanly decapitate me before I even saw it coming. Why not? It's not like I was having a good luck streak, let's be honest. 

Seven fifty am and I managed to make it to the bus stop with all my organs just where they should be and my head still attached to my body. I lit up a smoke and fished three quarters out of my pocket, ready to pay my way and go to work. The bus pulled up on time, and I climbed aboard, nodding to the driver in solidarity, one working man to the other, dropped my coins of passage into the box, turned and found an empty seat by the window. I watched as the scenery went from historical homes with their gates and carefully tended lawns to the brown crabgrass and dirt yards where the children played in poverty, then to the blocks of businesses where hopes and dreams were born and died, with their big banners proclaiming another last chance at big savings, or let you know that for the twentieth time this furniture store was going out of business and these prices wouldn't last. Nothing but a higher class of a carnival barker. Free financing, limited time only, no interest for ninety days, credit same as cash, act now, last chance to save, overstocked and marked down, employee pricing, never before savings, trade ins welcome, don't miss out, and my all time favorite, below wholesale. Imagine that a business surviving by losing money. The saddest part of it all is that these tactics worked on people. For the second time that morning, I shook my head. 

Eight thirty eight am and the doors open at my destination, my job site, half the bus stood up to depart. Standing up and slipping No. 7 onto my shoulders, I let the line shuffle past me with the knowledge that I had time to spare 

 Eight forty, I stepped off the bus, gravitating to have a smoke with a small group of like-minded people who nodded their approval as I approached. The signal that I was accepted in the circle of debauchery. I made it clear, though, that I had no time to make small talk because I had to go to work and I was a responsible person. On time, it was late, and ten minutes early was on time. That was my motto, starting now, at least. Eight fourty five am I started to the job site, feeling the anxiety butterflies come to life in the pit of my stomach. I had never done this sort of work before, and I hoped I would catch on quick. 

 Eight fifty am, and I was standing beside the exit lane of the Walmart Superstore on a patch of grass where the stopsign was planted, dropping No. 7 to the earth. I bent over and unzipped the section that contained the piece of cardboard. As I put my fingers on it, I felt emotions pour over me, a mixture of shame, embarrassment, and determination. This was my third try at this, but I was determined not to chicken out this time, so, choking everything back down I pulled the sign from my bag and turned to face the cars coming up to the stop sign so I could show them the story of my life, condensed down to some scribbles from a Sharpie which read, 'Traumatic Brain Injury' in large lettering, with a smaller, 'Please Help' below. I'd never felt so alone as I did in that spot light that day at Walmart, that my life had led me to this point, here with a sign begging for money from strangers to get things I needed. It seemed like I couldn't even breathe with my phone service cut off, as I still felt sure that my son would call me at any minute to see how I was, and knowing that life line was severed was unbearable. 

 A grey van with a logo pulled up to the stop sign and I heard one of the doors open, then close, so I turned around to see someone jogging up to me, holding out his hand with a twenty dollar bill pinched in his fingers, "Here you go, brother. Take care of yourself, my man, "then back to the van and was gone. 

I broke. Just like that. I broke.

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

In the past, I did talk about why Asian women are attracted to white men. But here is a question, why not white girl married to an Asian man? Here are the reasons why in this day and age, it is time for non-Asian/white women should go after Asian man. Ladies, it is time to prove the point why you shouldn't be deny or ignore.
If you haven't noticed, in this day and age, white men would go overseas such as Thailand, Cambodia, or Vietnam just to get married or chase after an Asian woman. Not just white men, even single men who are British, Irish, or Swedish, they would turn their back on their race just to marry an Asian woman instead. Every non-Asian man have been giving up on finding singles in their hometown due to the fact that white women aren't the only ones in their department. I have travel with my boyfriend, so I have seen this quite often. But ladies, think about this. If your a white woman who has been seeing this "White man marrying an Asian woman" trend for awhile, then imagine what will happen if the scenario flips when you (as a non-Asian woman) marry an Asian man.
Another thing is we are living in this modern woke culture, where anything can happen. Don't get me wrong, I have friends who are in the LGBTQ+ community. And most of them are my bisexual friends. They also agreed on my personal perspective. Because if we don't change it now, then when? And keep this in mind. It doesn't matter who you married to, people would still hate, judge, or even criticize. So what? Who cares? As long as you have feelings towards that person, nobody can stop you, except you. Besides, even if you are bisexual or lesbian, and you are dating a same-sex person, most of the times people would give you side look rather you liked or not. That is why if I were you, I would rather let you judge me then not making a move. Because at the end of the day, it is your choice, not theirs. So ladies, you better step up the game and show that white or non-Asian men who is the boss and who runs the show here. We can also play the same game just like them. Besides, if a white man is willing to turn their back on your race, why not do the same thing, prove the point, and show who is the boss!
It is already the year of 2024, men and women should be treated equally; men and women should get pay equally; same-sex marriage for all; then why not "diversity marriage" for all. If you have lived in Philadelphia for awhile, then ask yourself this question. How many Asian man are living in Philadelphia these days? And if you think about it, if these Asian man can get marry easily, why there are so many single Asian man these days? And yes, most of the Asian man are introverted but you will never know if you actually speak to those American born Asians. Trust me, they are not afraid to speak their mind. So again, if you marry an Asian man, nobody would see this as a problem. In fact, this is why we called it "Proving The Point" to today's modern society.
According to statistics, how many marriages that a white man has failed compare to an Asian man in today's modern society? In fact, white man has something called white man privilege, so they felt that they could do whatever they want. That is why single non-Asian ladies should change the game also. One of the main reasons why Asian man lasted a very long time when it comes to the marriage because of their culture. When it comes to marrying an Asian man, they take it as like it is part of the family tradition. If you want my suggestion, I will say non-Asian woman/white woman should go after those American-born Asian man. Why? Because you would never see any cultural differences when it comes to them; they are obviously the better choice. In fact, you can easily tell if they are American-born or not. For example, look at their body language and English speaking skills. It is talking to the reflection of yourself in a daily basis. From my personal perspective, Asian man is less likely to cheat their woman, compare to the non-Asian man. And I DON'T say it because I'm an Asian woman, I say it because I have dated a few in the past. In my old scenarios why my Asian dating didn't go the way I wanted to, because I was too demanding on my Asian man, so they just had enough with me. BUT, in order to keep the relationship going strong, make sure to keep it well-balance and treat together equally. Not only that, regardless of their race or ethnicity, any man wouldn't feel comfortable of being taking advantage especially in today's modern society. I have learned my lessons in my days, so this is why Asian boyfriend is still with me to this day. So if you ever saw an Asian man who has these preferences: Don't avoid it, take your chance. You never know.
Finding singles are very difficult in today's modern society because of being overly cautious. Besides, nobody wants to make a mistake twice or scenarios that their parents went through in their good old days, right? However, if you are woman who wants to be overly cautious, make sure NOT to surpass over age 30's, because this is where any man would prefer woman in their 20's instead. Why? At least they would have a better "healthy" choice to have kids compare to woman who is around their 30s. Don't take it too personally, because throughout the history the king have ton of wives and tons of kids. However, would you as a woman have ton of kids with different husbands? It doesn't matter what time period you are in, because you will still consider a no-more-than-an average woman, if you know what I mean. Sorry, loves. Back to the point, if you ladies want to have a long-lasting relationship, it is so obvious that Asian man are probably got way better chance compare to a white man or any non-Asian man because it is according to the statistics. As I mentioned before, why there are so many non-Asian men who are in their 50s or 60s going overseas especially in Southeast Asia to find a wife. It is not personal, but it is the reality. In fact, almost every man wants to get married and have kids. For those men who DOESN'T want to have kids because they want to cheat you one day so these morons don't have to take the responsibility. But if you ever bump into an Asian man or any men in general, who says that "I want to get married and have kids" one day. That shows you that this type of "family" guy is hard to find especially in today's modern world.
Keep this in mind, don't expect too much that you will find a man who has higher income or higher standards. Because in today's modern era, women have been giving much more equal or greater opportunity than men does. They are getting paid equally or sometimes higher income than men. This is why white men doesn't seem to have any upper advantage compare back to their good old days so they went somewhere else to find love. So if that is the case, maybe it is time to flip the scenario and change the story. Like I said, if non-Asian man is willing to chase after or married to someone who is not their race, basically turning their back on your identity, then why not do the same thing.
Here is a simple question that I mentioned on my previous post, but keep this as a reminder: "Do you know that the majority of white men who dated or married to Asian women never last long compare to Asian men?" If you already knew this, that the best suggestion is go out more often. Places you can find a decent Asian man in things like Asian meetups, Asian festivals, or Asian food parks, you would eventually find someone you like there. And the best way to approach them is to ask questions like,

• "Hey, are you from this area? You look so familiar."
• "Do you know where or when the event starts?"
• "Do you know what are the best drink or food you will recommend?"
• "Are you from around here?"

If none of these works, try to stand or get close to them. if they are interested, they will approach you. Trust me, I have seen this sort of stuff in different situations. Or, if the guy you are interested is sitting and chillin', you could just sit next or behind them and to see if they are willing to talk to you or not. Again, if you ladies are smart enough, you can think of a question easily depending on the scenarios. And ladies, I have travel alot in East and Southeast Asia, so I will tell you that it is about time to make a change in today's modern society. If not, then when.
Keywords: philly, philadelphia, dating, asian, girlfriend, boyfriend, singles, philly singles, philadelphia singles, philly dating, philly asian dating, philly asian meetup, finding singles, dating tips, dating advice, relationship guide, singles, philly asian singles, asian man, white woman, white women, non-asian singles, long-lasting relationship, long-lasting marriage, amwf, asian male white female relationship, woke culture, woke diversity marriage

Ok, so this subreddit has been around since the name change announcment and now that we have a few festivals done under the new name I feel I should get some community response. please answer the question I have and leave any suggesstions you may have for further changes.
TICKET SALES THREAD
I'm only allowed two sticky posts and it gets annoying that I can't do ticket sales, lineup and have somenthing open in case of a good cause or getting some ama in the future or something. Furthermore, the sale thread gets cluttered and either no one is selling their tickets ever or they are ignoring the tread rules and never delete their sale comment after they sell their ticket.
A few options I see are:
1: Remove ticket sales thread all together and just use rule 2 to direct people to the facebook page for ticket sales.
2: Do a cleanup every few weeks where I delete all comments over a few weeks old to clean up the thread
Which option do you guys think is best?
SELF PROMOTION THREADS
How do you guys feel about this rule?
From a mod standpoint its been mostly ineffective, weve only had a few people ask before posting. one was approved then removed because the request was not an accurate description of what was posted, and there has been one post that I was iffy on leaving up because it was an app.
My initial intent was to try to reduce spammy corporate or clickbaity bullshit, and to prevent people trying to take advantage of the community. I have been trying to get the actual artists at the shows to do some posts (although have been unsuccessful so far) and have no problem with community members sharing their hobbies turned sources of income that are done out of genuine love and appreciation for the commnity, some examples would be America Mosh Pits, and that thing u/schellnino has going on (do a legit proper post man, full write up with all the links)
So what are your opinions?
Should I be more strict on enforcement and delete all self promotion posts if they dont check in first?
Should I allow things like 3rd party apps to be posted?
Should I allow self promotion blog and article posting?
CROWD SURFING COMPLAINT THREADS
Holly hell WE FUCKING GET IT. No one likes overweight people surfing, no one likes surfers getting stacked up, no one likes people surfing who have no idea how to do it and go limp noodle the entire time.
I PROMISE YOU THAT YOUR THREAD COMPLAINING ABOUT IT ISNT GONNA CHANGE ANYTHING
We've had at least 4 or 5 in the past few days alone, another one isn't gonna be the magic ticket to small stiff crowdsurfers.
Do you guys want me to stop complaint threads like this that do nothing but bitch about an unsolveable problem or should I just allow them to run their course?
This is all I can think of right now. Please leave any other concerns or ideas with your answers.

https://preview.redd.it/caj4rkhvvs1d1.png?width=1992&format=png&auto=webp&s=68322b5d63bb635d7be71ee7860325d8327e8b15
I'm new to trading guys so please bare with me on this one. Hoping someone understands what i'm asking.
So the graphic is hopefully describing enough of what i'm after. I know with stocks, typically you can use the crosshairs and do a limit order on a stock based on the price level you're looking at in the chart (hover mouse to desired price level > right click > buy limit > enter order)
Above is not a stock limit order, though. I have an options trade pending to buy a vert call spread with a set limit. However, this was manually entered for a 3.50 spread price (far below current bid). However, it still shows up on the chart indicating where the price of the underlying must be in order for the order to fill.
What i'm asking is if there is a way to visually select an options price based on what the underlying is doing from the chart?
In other words, rather than fudge the limit price around, what if i want to enter an options price based on the price level of the last red candle wick? Is there a simple straight forward way of doing this in ToS?
So far, the closest i've seen on YouTube is a guy who does conditional orders. He sets a "market buy" with a condition that the underlying meets X price.
In some sense, this does what i'm asking, with the exception that it isn't as fast. I guess i'm looking for something more graphical where you can setup the order strictly from the chart view.
My guess is this isn't possible but i thought i'd ask.

I got another badge of honor! Willy Gude finally blocked me on X from calling him out on his bullying 🤣 They both can’t own up to their sh*t talking and spend hours talking about Z in her car while watching Z’s stream. I’m not defending Z’s actions as of late. but Willy and Jess are fxcking obsessed, egotistical monsters who have zero remorse. They can’t take criticism which shows zero development as a person. There should be a study about these two clowns.
Please Tory, Lara, Serge, Michael, Jay - I only have hope for you guys and pray you distance yourselves from these two heartless bullying monsters. They shouldn’t be praised for what they do. All they do is publically mock and bully you if you cross them.
This is what I posted on X and after FilmThePoliceLA Willy Gude posted his spiel:
Maybe you and Jessica Palmadessa shouldn’t have berated him week ago in her car. That’s what became of his actions. There’s a pattern to you as well. Anyone that cross you, you destroy their character. You’re not any better for a 50 year old man. You’re also a sick fxck.

32 Thoughts:

• Process moved very quickly with Berube
  
• Seems like Berube interviewed last Saturday/Sunday, McLellan interviewed Monday/Tuesday, Gallant interviewed on Wednesday. All flew out to Toronto.
  
• Friedge wonders who else may have been considered and singled out Dale Hunter as someone he thinks they may have had conversations about but doesn't think he would have wanted to come or an official conversation was ever held.
  

CJ Show:

• There is real smoke about Marc Savard coming as an assistant coach (he ran St Louis's pp in 19-20 as Berube's assistant) although CJ doesn't know how that would work as he has 2 more years on his contract as an assistant (running the powerplay) in Calgary.
  
• Thinks there is also very real smoke to the DJ Smith returning to Toronto. He mentioned that it's likely both sides that are interested in a reunion as assistant coach. DJ Smith has the option to stay in LA and it's been noted by David Pagnotta that if Jim Hiller is converted from interim to full time coach he's likely to stay and if not then Toronto would be the likely destination.
  
• CJ also made very very sure to note that it's still early in the assistant coach search and nothing is expected to be finalized soon as teams are still playing and there are 5 open head coaching positions.
  
• Expects Mike Van Ryn (ran our defence) to stay as he was with the Blues for years including the cup winning team, not sure what happens with Guy Boucher (powerplay) as this was only his first year and our powerplay fell apart when it mattered, expects Manny Malhotra (auxiliary/forwards/faceoffs) and Dean Chynoweth (PK) to move on.
  

CJ also did a staying or going with every player on the Leafs roster with a scale of 1-8 on how confident he is in his assessment.
Staying: Matthews (8), Nylander (8), Rielly (8), Knies (8), Reaves (8), Woll (8), Benoit (8), McMann (8), McCabe (8), Domi (7), Tavares (7), Holmberg (7), Jarnkrok (6), Kampf (6), Dewar (5), Robertson (5), Lyubushkin (4)
Leaving: Giordano (8), Brodie (8), Samsonov (8), Murray (7), Klingberg (6), Liljegren (5), Bertuzzi (5), Edmundson (5), Jones (5), Marner (4), Gregor (4), Timmins (4)

• Notes that Tavares said Max Domi felt like a part of the Leafs fabric
  
• Said that John Klingberg was seen skating with the Leafs medical staff for rehab on the Leafs locker room cleanout day
  
• Noted that when Lyubushkin came back he said it felt like coming home and speculated if he would want to stay here longer term as he's moved around a lot
  

Brother Spartacus (218x project) and 👀 Roni (141x project) are back in town! This is their first project on Solana, backed by a vibrant narrativeBrother Spartacus (218x project) and 👀 Roni (141x project) are back in town! This is their first project on Solana, backed by a vibrant narrative!
✅ MEXC & Bitmart confirmed
✅ CMC paid
✅ Robinhood pushers on-board
✅ Huge Reddit Marketing

Introduction

Meme Coin $GME pays homage to the return of the legend - Roaring Kitty and the entire GameStop saga, showing that we can stand together against the big guys.

Story

GameStop is an international chain of video game stores that is going through tough times. Low profitability and uncertain future prospects (who would even go to the store for something that can easily be downloaded from Steam?) have led to the company's stock falling from $55 in 2013 to $4 by mid-2020.
Several major hedge funds were convinced that the decline in GameStop's stock prices would continue: as the professionals say, they "shorted" these stocks for a large sum.
However, in January 2021, the stock suddenly surged—especially on January 26-27, when prices reached $360 (a 20-fold increase compared to January 1!). It turned out that the coordinated actions of armchair investors from the Reddit community WallStreetBets were behind the sudden surge in GameStop's stock. Leading the attack on the stock market was an anonymous financial guru using the nickname Roaring Kitty, who shares investment advice with over 1 million followers on Twitter and YouTube.
As a result, Roaring Kitty's bet on the rise of GameStop's stocks helped him turn $56,000 into $16,000,000 (a fantastic profit of over 28,500%!), while hedge funds with smart guys in expensive suits lost billions of dollars (which nearly led to the bankruptcy of one of them).

Vision

This is a new era of meme coins that literally started yesterday, along with the rise of GME stocks and the awakening of Roaring Kitty on Twitter! Your investment in the GME token right now is a bet on incredible gains tomorrow! Be a part of the huge community of traders who are challenging the big guys on Wall Street.

Tokenomics

• Total Supply: 1,000,000,000 GME
• Buy Tax: 0%
• Sell Tax: 0%
• Distribution:
  • Presale: 50%
  • Liquidity: 30%
  • Marketing: 10%
  • Team: 5%
  • Reserves: 5%

Roadmap

Phase 1:

• GME Concept
• Market Research
• Team Recruitment
• Development of the Website
• Development of the Contract

Phase 2:

• Create Socials
• Pre-Launch Marketing Campaign
• Contract Audit
• Presale on Pinksale
• The First AMA Session

Phase 3:

• Listing on DEX
• Renounce Ownership of Contract
• Dextools & Dexview Updates
• Post-Launch Marketing
• CMC & CG Listings

Phase 4:

• Coinzilla & A-ads Marketing
• Huge Reddit Marketing
• Dextools Trending
• Trending on Twitter with Our Memetic Power
• MEXC & Bitget Listings

Call to Action

Join the GME revolution and be part of a community that stands up to the big guys on Wall Street. Follow us on our socials to stay updated and be part of our amazing journey!
All Links :
LINKTREE : https://linktr.ee/gamestopsol

Conclusion

The $GME Meme Coin is more than just a token; it's a movement. Join us as we continue to challenge the status quo and create a legacy that pays homage to the iconic GameStop saga and the legendary Roaring Kitty.
!
✅ MEXC & Bitmart confirmed
✅ CMC paid
✅ Robinhood pushers on-board
✅ Huge Reddit Marketing

Introduction

Meme Coin $GME pays homage to the return of the legend - Roaring Kitty and the entire GameStop saga, showing that we can stand together against the big guys.

Story

GameStop is an international chain of video game stores that is going through tough times. Low profitability and uncertain future prospects (who would even go to the store for something that can easily be downloaded from Steam?) have led to the company's stock falling from $55 in 2013 to $4 by mid-2020.
Several major hedge funds were convinced that the decline in GameStop's stock prices would continue: as the professionals say, they "shorted" these stocks for a large sum.
However, in January 2021, the stock suddenly surged—especially on January 26-27, when prices reached $360 (a 20-fold increase compared to January 1!). It turned out that the coordinated actions of armchair investors from the Reddit community WallStreetBets were behind the sudden surge in GameStop's stock. Leading the attack on the stock market was an anonymous financial guru using the nickname Roaring Kitty, who shares investment advice with over 1 million followers on Twitter and YouTube.
As a result, Roaring Kitty's bet on the rise of GameStop's stocks helped him turn $56,000 into $16,000,000 (a fantastic profit of over 28,500%!), while hedge funds with smart guys in expensive suits lost billions of dollars (which nearly led to the bankruptcy of one of them).

Vision

This is a new era of meme coins that literally started yesterday, along with the rise of GME stocks and the awakening of Roaring Kitty on Twitter! Your investment in the GME token right now is a bet on incredible gains tomorrow! Be a part of the huge community of traders who are challenging the big guys on Wall Street.

Tokenomics

• Total Supply: 1,000,000,000 GME
• Buy Tax: 0%
• Sell Tax: 0%
• Distribution:
  • Presale: 50%
  • Liquidity: 30%
  • Marketing: 10%
  • Team: 5%
  • Reserves: 5%

Roadmap

Phase 1:

• GME Concept
• Market Research
• Team Recruitment
• Development of the Website
• Development of the Contract

Phase 2:

• Create Socials
• Pre-Launch Marketing Campaign
• Contract Audit
• Presale on Pinksale
• The First AMA Session

Phase 3:

• Listing on DEX
• Renounce Ownership of Contract
• Dextools & Dexview Updates
• Post-Launch Marketing
• CMC & CG Listings

Phase 4:

• Coinzilla & A-ads Marketing
• Huge Reddit Marketing
• Dextools Trending
• Trending on Twitter with Our Memetic Power
• MEXC & Bitget Listings

Call to Action

Join the GME revolution and be part of a community that stands up to the big guys on Wall Street. Follow us on our socials to stay updated and be part of our amazing journey!
All Links :
LINKTREE : https://linktr.ee/gamestopsol

Conclusion

The $GME Meme Coin is more than just a token; it's a movement. Join us as we continue to challenge the status quo and create a legacy that pays homage to the iconic GameStop saga and the legendary Roaring Kitty.