Coming Out of Denial: An Analysis of AIDS Law and Policy in China; Disturbing Reactions not Limited to Quarantine with Burning All Property (overreaction) but also Disturbing Underreaction and Denial of More Robust Centralized Information Averaging Data Across the Country
https://lawecommons.luc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1095&context=lucilr
China had its own “China virus” moment but in the reverse to other countries; when AIDS for came to China, they insisted it was a foreign disease
The early law and policy discussed below reflects this conception by the government, and studies show that most believed, and perhaps still believe, that AIDS is a foreign disease. 5 Laboring under this misconception, the government and medical personnel with little knowledge about AIDS endeavored to contain it and prevent it from penetrating into China.6 Xia Guomei illustrates this phenomenon through the story of the first foreign man infected with AIDS, who became very sick while traveling on the mainland. 7 At first no one knew that the man had AIDS, but when the news reached the hospital that this man was an AIDS patient he was quickly quarantined.8 His room was sealed and two nurses in special suits were the only personnel that the hospital permitted to attend to him.9 When he died, the hospital burned everything associated with the man, the nurses' clothes, and even the medical instruments.
Out of sight, out of mind dehumanization is the type of denial seen on the Chinese response to AIDS
Other studies indicate that many of those with HIV or AIDS are forced to live out their days in seclusion away from their family and are not treated by the medical community. 23 Those who are not shunned by their families may face severe societal discrimination, including loss of their jobs, refusal of medical treatment, denial of access to public accommodations, and rejection of marriage registration. 24
China shows a disturbing cover up at the local level of the AIDS pandemic so that officials can advance their careers by artificially lowering AIDS numbers.
Local protectionism and local corruption are also serious problems in China that have resulted in the distortion of policies and laws. 64 Local officials may pay more attention to advancing their careers than to the development and stability of the local economy and society. As such, local officials may still be unwilling to release harmful, yet necessary information, on outbreaks to the central government. Cover-ups, both at the central and local levels of government, have been major issues with regard to the control of infectious diseases in China. The cover-up surrounding the SARS epidemic and the blood donation disasters in Henan Province are two prime examples of this phenomenon and demonstrate how tensions and poor communication between the central and local bureaucracies can lead to problems in the enforcement of AIDS policy.
Local authorities have proven time and time again dangerously incompetent and vainer than is safe, thinking that nothing is happening when it is. For example, the denial of Henan Province led to people being effected with AIDS through blood banks because they received reports of this infection and did nothing, not wanting to go through the effort of the issue in combination with not really believing the reporter. In the end they just got all these people AIDS and were completely wrong. This shows the horrifying consequences of a local area without the apprehension required in denial of incoming information from an averaged mass of national information.
For example, in the early 1990s the central government discovered that many people were becoming infected with AIDS through the blood banks in Henan Province. 60 The government issued an order to the localities to take action to stop this phenomenon. 61 The provincial authorities refused, however, denying that any problem existed and allowed the blood banks to stay open and carry out their work. 62 The result was more infections. 63

Chris recaps the last episode as the campers dug up their team members pictures to determine the teams, and says that these teams seem "oddly specific" in who is on what team (he rigged the team picking). Hockey Bros on different teams, Chase and Emma on the same team, although some got lucky that they were put together such as Julia and MK, and Ripper and Axel, but it will only be a matter of time until things start going in a different direction. Today is the day they figure out who is going home first in this third season.
The intro plays like usual
On the Far Apart Foxes: Priya is seen staring deep into thought in her bunk about pretty much everything Millie, Caleb, The game, and what her parents are thinking right now. Zee comes in and asks if she's ok, and she claims she is, and that she's not going to let any of this stop her, and Zee could tell something was wrong, but didn't want to say anything as it's only caused him problems in the past. Julia and MK are outside talking about what they could try doing as they believe their team is full of people who are gross, emotional wrecks, not all there, or just hate their guts, Julia knows that she could be booted easily if they lose, she says not if they cheat, MK brings up her cheating idea again, but Julia reminds her that she got caught last time and almost went home, MK believes that if she doesn't mess with anything of Chris', like the hairdryer, they should be fine, plus instead of cheating through challenges, they could cheat through messing with people, Julia likes the sound of that. Meanwhile Raj is seen crying in his bunk claiming he's been crying all night, and then he sees Wayne and Bowie coming in, with Bowie saying Wayne did the same thing in his bunk and he sits the hockey bros and gives them a pep talk, trying to lift up their spirits, but it doesn't work, Bowie tries to think of something. Axel and Ripper are then found talking about their history in the game from going from hating each other to loving each other, Axel then tells him that she and him need to cool down on the making out, as she's been noticing that it's been dragging her and him down, Ripper claims being gross is something he does best, Axel tries to tell him that she may believe that he's not super gross, but if they want to dominate the game, Ripper needs to clean up his act, both literally and figuratively.
On the Separated Serpents sides: Caleb and Millie are seen talking to themselves about Priya and then all of sudden they say the same thing out loud and gasp. Caleb then tells her that he owes her an apology, Millie says what for, and Caleb tells her for taking her best friend away from her, and saying that he was glad she was gone when she was eliminated, Millie tells him that she's said bad things more times than him, and they laugh it off, and decide to form an alliance, and Caleb promises that he will honest and truthful, and won't go behind her back, and all of sudden they hear a scream. We see Damien being chased by Scary Girl, whom somehow brought a jackhammer and said that she wants to have time to catch up, Chase is then seen hiding in a bush filming Damien saying he never knew Damien was so hilarious and would be great footage for his channel. Emma watches Chase from the cabin saying that he only cares about his own fame and the benefits, not the people he films, and still can't believe he's still the same Emma then stops and sits back and remembers season 1, and eventual flashbacks show her blowing up at Bowie, and claims that she was such a jerk to Bowie and that it was all her fault that their friendship ended, not Chase, she wants to talk to him, but she's not sure of when the best time to do so is.
Chris then announces it's challenge time!
Chris announces that he hopes the contestants have had their time to get used to their new teams and that it's time for the first challenge, will be a getting to know you game. Bowie says that isn't a little late since they've all known each other for a few years, but Chris says that he has eyes everywhere and has been watching, and Priya then starts twitching in her seat after hearing the challenge explained, and Millie asked her if she's ok, and claims she's fine she just didn't sleep well last night, Millie doesn't buy it. Julia tells her that even though she hates, she needs to pull herself together, if they don't want to win, Priya snaps at Julia to not tell her what to do, which surprises everyone, even Julia. Caleb said that was even worse than all the times Priya snapped at him combined. Chris says he'd love to keep this going, but he's on a tight schedule and that the challenge is that each person gets a point for every time they press their button admitting to the fact described to the other campers, if they refuse after 10 seconds, the other team gets the point, and that after one team gets 8 points will be the team that wins immunity and the losing team must send someone home.
First: Who was the first one is which camper accidentally peed themselves on their first date?
Emma presses her button, and Chase claims that he had no idea she peed herself, and thought he caused her to get a period, and she just growls at him. (Point for Serpents)
Next Question is: Which camper got suspended from school for going in the opposite gender's restroom?
Ripper presses his button (Point for Foxes), and says he's proud of it, and has no regrets, except for realizing he was wiping himself with pads instead of toilet paper. (Point for Foxes)
Next question is: Claiming they all should have done this at this point, Which camper has never gotten their driver's license?
Scary Girl presses her button, and She says who needs to drive, as she has her own ways of getting around, (Point for the Serpents)
Next question is: Which camper has sleepwalked while naked?
Zee presses his button, and claims that it was the soda, and had no idea what happened, and was not sure why he saw his door unlocked, and police at the door. Raj asks if he went to jail, and Zee said he luckily didn't since he had money from his soda sponsor, although they confiscated that soda from him. (Point for the Foxes)
Next question is: Which camper has never learned to tie their shoes?
Damien starts sweating but presses his button anyway, Millie is kind of surprised despite his intelligence, and Damien claims he just has never been able to figure it out, and sees quite a few of the other campers (Chase, Ripper, Julia, MK start laughing, causing Damien to hide himself in his jacket, with Scary Girl finding this interesting (Point for the Serpents)
Next question is: Which camper once got attacked while stuck in a zoo exhibit? MK sees Julia avoiding eye contact and presses her button for her, and presses her button for her, but Chris tells her that they don't get the point in doing so, but he asks Julia what happened in the exhibit anyway, she says that one of the monkeys came out of the exhibit grabbing her phone and started filming itself, and she got stuck by climbing into the exhibit because it deleted all of her content, Nichelle said that monkey was real for that.
Score is 3 for the Serpents and 2 for the Foxes.
Next question is: Which camper has a playlist on their phone dedicated to lullabies?
Caleb then pushes his button, claiming that his grandmas' love for lullabies is contagious.
Next question: Which camper has never gone a day without crying at least once?
Wayne and Bowie eyed up Raj, knowing it's him, and they give Raj a nod of encouragement from the other team, and he presses his button, MK asks why it's only him and not him and Wayne, and Raj claims that there was one night he didn't cry, the one in which he won the million dollars.
Then we get a montage of the remaining campers getting asked questions:
(Who once died their hair pink)? No one presses
(Who's afraid of rollercoasters)? Axel presses hers
(Who sneezed and got covered in snot during a school picture)? Millie presses hers
(Who broke their leg due to slipping on a banana peel?) Nichelle presses hers
(Who's pants have fallen down in a public mall?) Chase presses his
It was down to one more question, the question from Chris is who despises their parents so much that they want to move away? Priya having been relieved a bit for not having to say anything, all of sudden starts looking very distressed she tries to say it, and just stutters, Julia warns her that if no one admits it then they lose, and says that she's not a total drama expert if she causes the team to lose like that, angered at Julia she proceeds to tackle her, and as Chris watches feeling quite entertained as no one presses their button, that means that the Separated Serpents win the challenge. The team celebrates, but Millie and Caleb eye Priya in concern. Chris tells the Far Apart Foxes that they will see them at elimination.
At the elimination ceremony Chef calls out certain campers:
MK: She pressed Julia's button even though the rules were they could only press their own. MK tells her that she was doing what a "friend" would do.
Julia: She's made a lot of enemies throughout both of her seasons, and refusing to answer to gain a point, and provoking Priya to attack her, Julia tells him that she was just doing what she does best, and it's not good enough for them, then it's their problem.
Priya: Chef's been noticing Priya's not been herself today, and didn't seem to do much to help her team despite being a Total Drama expert, plus attacking Julia instead of securing the point for her team, Priya has no comments.
Chris then says those who get marshmallows are safe like usual, but then explains that since they are on boney island, the one who doesn't get a marshmallow must be carried away in the Casket of Cruelty. He then tosses marshmallows to the following:
Raj
Nichelle
Zee
Ripper
Axel
MK...
and the final marshmallow goes to...
Julia! Which means Priya is eliminated. Julia's jaw dropped when she got her marshmallow.
Chris is intially shocked by this, explains how Priya went from winner, to final 4, to first boot, and says that it's time for her to go. Priya has no comment towards anyone, which surprises even Julia as she thought she'd go ballistic. Priya then takes a breath and starts cursing out at her parents, completely censored and we cut to them watching with flabbergasted expressions, Priya says that Millie was right about them, and she can't believe it only took her till now to realize. She leaves in the casket, hoping that her parents got the message and hopes that her best friend and boyfriend will manage without her. and knows this is for her own mental being.
Priya takes a breath and admits in a confessional, that she told her team to vote her off, so that way she wouldn't have to quit, because she says she's getting the million she rightfully won, and she's not waiting until she's forty. "
Nichelle then appears in a confessional saying that even though Priya's out and she did vote for her, she says Julia better start counting her days, and says MK's not off the hook either.
Chris then closes own by asking how Millie and Caleb will react when the find out Priya's out first, what will Julia and MK do to keep themselves in the game, can Wayne and Raj make it work being on different teams, will any of the information revealed during the challenge impact the future of the game find out on the next episode coming soon.

Dead last!
Via Jimmy Mack on X:
"I actually thought we did a pretty good job away from home. I need to see the two goals. I haven't had a chance to look at them. I think we were good on the ball. We created some good stuff. I just think giving up the second goal killed us." - Peter Vermes #SportingKC
"We definitely had some chances, but it definitely wasn't for lack of effort today." - Peter Vermes #SportingKC
Via Daniel Sperry on X
Vermes on team being unable to close games out with a lead: "You guys are worried about it. I'm not." #SportingKC
I have never seen a coach of any sport not have a single lick of responsibility like he does. Peter knows he won’t be fired, he knows he is safe no matter the result.
This is not fair to the diehard supporters of this club who have poured hundreds if not thousands of dollars into this team.
The ownership doesn’t give a shit about this club at all. Tickets, beer and jersey sales make their money, the on field product doesn’t mean anything if fans show up and the team gets their 💰
This roster is old, and it is bad. (oldest in MLS)
Pulido is our “superstar” striker who doesn’t shoot in the box, rather a 10 now because Vermes ball you know?
Salloi is our golden boy winger who had one good year before his contract was up.
Russell at least seems like he cares. But he just doesn’t have it anymore
Thommy is our one good player, genuinely he is the only above average player on this team.
We need an overhaul on and off the field.
This team needs to know we can’t put up with this again
They had last year as a “won’t happen again, freaky bad start” when this year is worse.
You bring back the same players and get 2 rotational guys. Way to back up the brinks truck guys!
I’m tired of it, and giving this club my energy when we get nothing back.
We Deserve Better. Simply

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Capital-Scheme-8294 posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 23rd May 2024
Update - 24th May 2024
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AITAH for wanting to divorce my post partum wife?
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It's stupid to think I'm at this point but here I am. My stbx wife (28F) and I (29M) have wanted kids for years and we're thrilled when she finally got pregnant last year. From day one I wanted to be the most supportive husband and future father I could. Her father was never involved in her life. I used to work as a tech in labor and delivery, and my brother to put it kindly is not the most involved father. I saw too many problems up close when it came to lacking husband's, and I would be damned before I made the same mistakes
The problem is roughly 4 weeks into her pregnancy everything started going downhill
She stopped wanting sex. Fair enough. Hormones and stress make that a problem I went full stop. But then she didn't want any physical interaction. No cuddling, no kissing, slowly becoming more and more distant
-Her eating constantly changed and she was terrible about it. She would demand I get her something all day then the moment I give it to her she wants something else, screaming at me. OK, again, hormonal issues I get it no problem
she never let me to go any appointments, no groups she went to, spent more time away
-became cold and bitter. Constantly angry at me. This went on for months
-slapped me a couple times when I forgot one of her dozens of tasks she assigned me during the day. Stopped doing anything for the house a month into the pregnancy. Sure, she's pregnant, I get it moving around is hard, but she wouldn't even do laundry about 4 weeks in and by 5 weeks I did everything. I'm also the primary source of income. I barely sleep. im running on fumes.
-made me sleep in the guest room. Would always try and pick fights. I never once raised my voice, my hand, or my tone. I sat there and constantly mentally reminded myself this isn't her and this would all be worth it
-she didn't want me to make any baby decisions. No name, no work on the nursery, nothing
One month before she delivered, she yelled how fucking useless I am and how I don't do anything and that she's staying with her mother. She didn't let me get her anything, come check on her, threatened to divorce me and get a restraining order if I even called her
A couple weeks back, I found out about the birth of my son from a Facebook post. She posted it with her mother and some family. It fucking broke me. I tried to go to the hospital and visit. They had security kick me out.
After months of outright hatred, anger and abuse thrown at me 24/7, I fucking had it. Odds are im not even on the birth certificate. I opened a new account and all my deposits go there. I took half out of our joint account. She never bought baby stuff ahead of time, who knows what that money was going towards, so now that she has to buy supplies for our son she's used up every cent
I've gotten a lawyer. The house is mine, I'm the only one who spent money on it in any way. I've sent the rest of her stuff to her mother's house. I'm demanding a paternity test. Im not spending another damn cent until I get verification it's my son. Im absolutely divorcing her. She chose the stay at home life, if she cheated she's screwed. Her mother has money for a couple week stay, not even close to enough for full time support. If he is my son, I will absolutely be getting my rights as a father for a relationship.
Last week, my stbx called. She was practically hyperventilating. She wanted to come home. She was crying how it was all a mistake. She's not staying with her mother. She's at a friend's house. She wants to come home. She wants our son to have his father. I told her I don't fucking believe he is my son. Why the fuck would she pull this shit if he is? Show me a paternity test, and I'll do everything I can for him, and him only.
She wants to meet tomorrow at a park so I can talk to her. I said sure, so I can finally say everything I should have said months ago to her face. My parents are hoping we can make up, but they absolutely understand if I won't. My brother is a deadbeat jackass so I don't care what he has to say, but my sister thinks I should at least hear her out
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Comments
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seidinove
NTA. Someone mentioned peripausal psychosis. She needs to talk to a doctor. But sheesh, if I found out that my baby was born on Facebook, I’d be absolutely flattened.
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HalcyonCA
She also physically abused him. This woman is not well. He's right to protect himself and divorce her.
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bleeepobloopo7766
Yes. If she is behaving like this to her husband, is she even a safe mother for the child?
OP you should document any and all you can about this. If it is your son you might need to protect him from mother who might be genuinely dangerous.
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SubstantialYouth9106
NTA! HECK NO! Do not meet her at the park tomorrow. If she wants to meet you then it can be at your lawyer's office with your representative present and a conversation recorded. If the child is yours after an immediate paternity test, make sure your name is on the certificate and that you file for equal custody and have an equal say in all decisions of the child’s life. I would even ask to communicate via a parenting app. Save all forms of communication from her via text and email so you have a paper trail. No phone calls. I am very sorry that you had to go through this and your experience becoming a father, if the child is yours, was ruined. You realize your worth and you do not want to be with a partner like this. Please protect yourself. I hope you have cameras around your property, a ring camera by the door, and that you claim she abandoned your space. Your parents need to be on your side and follow your lead. The relationship is not healthy anymore and now that a child is involved you should be putting the child first and not raising it in a potentially toxic environment.

OOP: As far as my parents, they love her and believe she had some mental break during the pregnancy. However, when they found out about the facebook post, my Dad was heartbroken and my mother was utterly livid. They want me to have a happy family, but they are also pissed at her on my behalf. They'll support whatever I decide

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Socialist_Poopaganda
Wait so they know but think it’s fine that she verbally and physically abused you?? I appreciate the thinking that it was a mental break but that doesn’t mean anyone should stay with an abuser. I hope you’re getting therapy and you have a good support system because this was awful to read.

OOP: I kinda fucked up and didn't tell them about the slapping and still haven't told them because I was still in that mindset that she was just going through a rough time. It was dumb and I will absolutely inform them ASAP
I'm admittedly not great at opening up to them too much because I have the mindset not to worry them and handle things on my own. But going forward if I'm trying to get a good support system I gotta dump it all on them

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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I had to speed up the process of actually talking to her since the story spread quickly around on the internet, inevitably reaching someone involved with friends or family and now way more people i personally know are getting the details than I'm comfortable with
Oh well my bad lol
Before I ended up chatting with her, I opened up to my parents and sister about what was happening in detail. My parents were flustered at me hiding the more unsavory details to say the least and are probably going to be checking up on me daily for the rest of the year to make sure I'm ok. My sister would probably have to be held back from thrashing her, so I had to get a friend to help with the chat since my sister would not be able to contain herself
So basically, within hours of the story going into the digital stratosphere I called my wife back as quickly as I could to finally sit down and talk. We chose a local park this morning and I had a friend of mine record the conversation from beginning to end. I was basically ready to hear the generic affair story and get out of dodge
But of course it got complicated.
We met at a section with picnic tables and picked one as far away from other people to avoid them getting wrapped up in any awkwardness. She looked terrible. Haggard, stressed, and thankfully without the baby. She tried to have the big emotional chat and what not. I wasn't tearing up or acting like the hardened badass. I frankly was just wanting to figure out what this was all for
I didn't even get to ask the question before the floodgates spilled. I'm going to attempt to relay this story as best as I can because even looking back on the recording it's a mess, but also, it's because I don't 100% believe it, so fair warning, it could all be fake
This all started with her mother. As I said before my wife's father was absent. He sarted off well, having 2 sons with her mother before herm l. When her mother got pregnant with her, her father went from being the picture perfect guy he was at first and slowly changed into a negligent, abusive, unfaithful, and unsupportive jackass, ending with him disappearing when her mother was delivering. He's been in and out of prison since. No one knows why he did it. The impression her mother always gave was a strong resilient woman who withstood anything life threw at her and did anything for her kids. She has claimed to be in therapy for years. In reality, she has managed to conceal a deep hatred for men outside of her sons, but according to my wife there was favoritism towards her. My wife also found out she stopped therapy almost a decade ago but never told anyone.
Her mother seemed to always have some slight against me and now i know why. She was never hostile, but certainly wasn't warm to me, and hearing about her secret hatred, I kinda knew where this was going. Roughly about half a year before she got pregnant, my MIL slowly began sowing seeds of doubt and bitterness into my wife. Apparently she had a full mental break. She told her about me staying late at work possibly hiding an affair. Or that myself providing majority on the income setting her up for a hard divorce. Everything my MILs husband did to her, she convinced my wife I would do to her, and she pumped this poison into her for months. My wife always idolized her mother, and compounding that with anxiety she's suffered from for years, she dove in deep.
As soon as she got pregnant, like on the dot, she fell into a mental hole within days. And that's when her mother got hold of her again. Hearing about her pregnancy apparently triggered something fierce in my MIL and it spiraled from there. She had my wife fully convinced it was happening again
Every single thing my wife did to hurt me was at the behest of my MIL. Combined with pregnancy hormones, an undiagnosed mental illness she claims to have (no confirmation), and stress, she completely lost her mind. She 100% believed I would bail, so she was punishing me first, culminating in her moving in with her mother and leaving me out of the birth
While I was sending the papers and started the divorce proceedings, she kicked into full blown post partum depression. And when her mother finally got her, when she finally beat me, which I guess was her victory over her ex (did I mention she's fucking crazy), she had no more use of my wife. The family involved in the birth included my MILs sister and my wife's brothers. While my MIL and her sister knew what was going on, my BILs got fed the bs narrative my MIL spun. When my MIL was done with her plan, the entire facade came down and my BILs found out everything upon questioning my wife. They were horrified.
Needless to say, postpartum, facing a very grueling divorce on her side, no longer welcome in our home, and having done everything to alienate me from my son at the behest of a broken lunatic, reality hit her like a truck. She torched her entire life because her mother is a broken shell of a human who used her to enact her own sense of justice. The very mother who washed her hands of her after she got what she wanted
Or at least this is the story she gave me
Frankly, there are many holes in her story. The starting point of the pattern of abuse, the claims of who was involved in the delivery, me being absent from appointments, the friend (who she confirmed is female) she's staying with, and of course, my alleged sons paternity.
It seems way too fucking crazy to be made up. Who the hell would go to the effort to make this up facing what she's facing?
As soon as she finished, she said she's setting up a paternity test and gave me the info I need. Within luck it should be done in roughly a week or so once i do my part. She gave the most sincere apologies any human being has ever given. She's begged for another chance. I was frankly, to stunned to say anything, so she left and promised to call soon
I don't think I can give her another chance. I don't think I can ever risk anything like this again.
God I'm still hoping she's just being a cheating psycho and spinning a sympathy story to try and throw me off, because this got way too complicated
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Comments
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Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss
I am so sorry for your pain. Nobody deserves to go through Insanity like this.
I'm glad she's cooperating on the paternity test. However, no matter the results, you should go through with the divorce. You do not need this in your life. Given this incident, I would even pursue full custody of your child.
Get duplicate copies of the recording of this meeting. Make sure that they are easily transferable to your attorney for the divorce.
Best of luck, and of course NTA.
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Sweet-Fancy-Moses23

I don't think I can give her another chance. I don't think I can ever risk anything like this again

You are right.She subjected you to months of mental torture and agony despite you being supportive and understanding.Then she prevented you from being present during the birth of your child. I can’t imagine what OP went through when he found out the birth of his much anticipated child through a FB post. All this at the behest of an evil mother.Who says it won’t happen again ?
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SonOfSchrute
She’s full of shit

OOP: I hope so. I sat there practically slack jawed listening to this. It's too wild to be 100% honest, but too detailed to be completely fake

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mooglemethis
FWIW, I do think there's a kernel of truth in there, I absolutely believe your MIL manipulated her, but at the same time, most people can only be manipulated so far before they call bullshit and get fed up. The people that don't are usually the ones who want to believe the manipulation, who want the lies to be true.
She was willing to hit you and hurt you in unimaginable ways, based on nothing but 'maybes' and 'what ifs'.
And it's that part that scares me. I don't think that part of her can be suppressed with force of will alone.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

this is my opinion but man offline this game just feels so good. The fast pace nature but not so oppressive like most fighting games these days like yea you still have access to some big damage but usually to get those launchers you got to earn them with a read or dodge or some lethal conditions or your character is slow and hits hard. with Tekken 8 especially with its heat which is like soul charge if you just had it all the time every round without needing to sacrifice using ur critical art. Like with soul charge u get very dangerous 50 50s but only for a bit so it feels less aggravating. Admittedly they missed mark with RE(its somehow trash but noobs love it lol) but I love how guard impact works as a risky timing based option to steal ur turn back and mind games it creates. Like if ur opponent reads you and does a break it hurts but its doesn't bug me as much as say a shoryu or launch safe armor moves. All the clones are very fleshed out now like kilik and mina, sieg and mare , Cassie and Sophie all feel unique
Its balance is fantastic man ppl will complain here n there bout certain characters cause they lost and are scrubs such as nightmare but I find if u know the game and each characters flaws everyone is pretty well done like Raph whom I consider prob in top 5 is very fond of verticals so stepping is quite good against him. Speaking of that the movement is orgasmic like you can just DO it, like being so free to quickly move around without that clunky feel or getting clipped by some ginormous hit box makes for great moments(admittedly does happen with sieg and mare or large weapons). Like I won't really compare its balance to other games because its been out forever and Tekken8, sf6 , GG are newer so still gotta patch shit up.
The GLARING ISSUE is literally its freaking net code and bamco lack of budget. This game basically has died because its net code it was a featured title for Evo around Covid time with a fair amount of hype backing it. It was on the main line up but was pulled cause that years Evo was notoriously completely online and was pulled because of its bad netcode. They never updated it and it is such a waste because I still love this game but when I play it online now a days there's like 8 ppl, no cross play and lobby desyncing bugs so you can't even watch matches sometimes like wtf I get why ppl have put it down.
The story could be freaking bomb all the characters are pretty interesting and they have CAS so you can have ur own character running around meeting these characters. The villains are pretty capable like Nightmare, and Cervantes are scary dudes and are treated that way and even someone like voldo they could give that monster aura too where he doesn't really lose fights and the as much as he's memed voldo animated into some goid fight scenes could be awesome crawling around n stuff. For the most part I don't hate any of the good guys like Sieg, Kilik or even Xianghua intact imo Hwang is a total bamf. Like I enjoyed the idea of this games story where you had one to tell ya what's going on with each the characters and Libra for cas but I would have set it up so the encounters with real characters they were way harder to beat with Libra all round being too easy. Give us more cut scenes damn it lol I'm cool with the talking pictures but I want lots of cut scenes to for spectacle. Like if they are just talking use the talking pictures but if there's an actual fight or a unique scene gave it like Tekken story scenes with cool transitions back and forth with the fights.
I hope when sc7 comes they treat it right and give it a proper chance they pulled it back from the brink of death after 5 and this game was so good to play offline

Hello everyone, this will be a long one. First, I wanted to discuss Pantheon's thematic concept and thematic playstyle. Both of these terms are subjective. Then, I wanted to analyze his current state and kit to get a better understanding and highlight his strengths and weaknesses. Then I made some small, large, and redesigning suggestions for the champion. This document is about 13 pages single space. I hope you enjoy.
Thematic Concept Thematic concept refers to his out of game concept, clearly being a mix of a spartan warrior and partially a vessel of a god of war. What stands out in the character is the combination of spear and shield. As a vessel of the god of war, there is an expectation that his fighting is flexible to be both offensive and defensive as well as dueling and large combat prowess. This works well with the spear and shield combat as both Spartans and gladiators often used this combination of weapons. Spartans could create a protective front line and pierce enemies from behind the shield wall. In formation, they could use their shields to push enemies back and stab when opponents were knocked off balance. Gladiators with spears and shields are very defensive and it only takes a few pokes and some endurance to whittle away at your opponent until you go in for the kill (or they surrender). As a vessel of a god of war, we want to embody these two characters as well as being a durable fighter. He should be bulky, someone on the front line who's not afraid to get into the thick of it while maintain this offensive and defensive balance.
Thematic Playstyle The thematic playstyle should flow from the thematic concept. These two concepts should match to the best of their abilities. Obviously the game has to have some balance and a space dragon and guy with a shotgun should be able fight on a more or less even playing field. Pantheon currently has two distinct playstyles: fighter, and glass cannon.
If above the curve, his glass cannon builds can 100-0 most isolated squishy targets, and if not can leave them very low on health (or kill them if they are below 100%). Usually the playstyle looked like this: ult onto target or surprise from a bush or flank >> empowered w (+3 quick autos) >> q >> auto >> e >> empowered q. There's not a lot of mechanical skill in this playstyle, the skill comes from your ability to set up the kills (map awareness, timing, understanding current vision control, know when to push and then duck into cover). The main reason I didn't call this an assassin build is because assassins are usually defined by their slipperiness. Assassins are meant to get a kill and then slip out. However, they usually can slip out of ganks easily with their dashes or other mobility spells. Pantheon is meant to be a frontline/diver in his thematic concept and playstyle and so he doesn't have this ability to slip out of a gank (unless you want to use your 3 (down to 2:30 minute ultimate cooldown which can easily be cancelled if the enemy is in range). Pantheon does have his empowered e, which does help him escape these ganks if near a turret (or allies), but with it's long cd as well being the only defensive tool, pantheon becomes a sitting duck if ganked in a long lane (particularly in the mid/late game). What this playstyle means a lot of the time is that you're clearing waves and clearing waves, running away at the sight of an opponent (even if it's just one), then clearing some more waves, and then try to find a good ult when objectives are spawning. This glass cannon build plays super scared, does not want to be in a fight, but can often be more successful since getting a pick in the early/middle game puts the enemy carries behind; and getting picks in the middle/late game leads to objective control as well as top laners being less valuable than carries. Let's also be clear that if you cannot get a kill on a carry (usually because the support protects them), then you will die 95% of the time with no recompense. There is a thematic mismatch between this playstyle and his concept. It's not a mechanical playstyle, since you're just landing all of your abilities while a target is stunned for half of the time and running away; it's not a tactical playstyle, because you're not baiting out abilities, spacing the opponent, or waiting for your cd's; but it is strategic in the general sense that you have to be a strong macro player to play pantheon well, however I would argue that this is not part of Pantheon's thematic concept (although in general I don't think many champions fall under a "strategic" concept, with maybe the exception of Swain and Teemo). More importantly, with his glass cannon build, there is no balance between spear and shield (offense and defense), it's all spear. There's no front line soldier who gets into the thick of it, only a coward that runs away. There's no culmination of small victories (winning small trades) until your opponent dies or has to surrender, it's just a one-shot from a surprise angle. I like Pantheon's glass cannon build solely because I win more with this build.
Pantheon's fighter build is closer to matching his thematic concept. His trading patterns are a longer, he can last longer in combat, and he is threatening enough that he can dissuade kills. His major strengths come from his point-and-click stun which counters pretty much all assassins in team fights as well as gets picks for your allies. Pantheon's kit is indeed strong and so his bruiser build functions well on low economy. All he really needs is a black cleaver and another defensive fighter item (DD or Maw depending on matchup, which you end up getting first) and he's off to the races (this is Keegun's - NA challenger pantheon main - current build suggestion for pantheon). It's almost always better to gives your teammates the gold in team fights because they are more gold efficient than Pantheon. Similarly, it's also better to give your jungler the kill when they gank your lane (top lane) because they can use the gold and affect the map better. This is also partially how jungle and support Pantheon function, they become a stun bot so that their teammates can collect the goal. Pantheon's fighter build still suffers from similar issues as his glass cannon build where he can be run down in the long lane. If even, most (if not all) duelists and tanks will win the 1v1 at 3 items+ if both Pantheon and his opponent are at 100% hp. In many cases where Pantheon goes even in the trade, Pantheon will find his enemy life stealing against the wave. Even if Pantheon went a life steal build, he will find himself running out of mana quickly and so it is better to give his opponent the push, which impairs his ability to move to a team fight, ultimately taking away one of his major strengths. Regarding the flow from thematic concept to thematic playstyle, Pantheon's bruiser build gets closer to mending the two with his ability to be in the thick of a fight for a little bit, but even this aspect doesn't stand out amongst the other bruisers in the game; he becomes as tanky as camille or fiora, but without their late game upside. He doesn't balance offense and defense; or spear and shield; burst and endurance. With this build, he's not a vessel of the god of war, he's a sidekick who helps feed his teammates.
Pantheon's Current State Pantheon's glass cannon build seems to be his best performing build, but this is partially because this build becomes more effective when he's played mid lane. As mentioned earlier, he can one-shot squishy targets with this build and so it makes sense that playing in a lane that typical plays squishy champions (mages, assassins) pantheon is able to excel. Riot Phreak said in his recent patch notes rundown video that they have to be careful when buffing Pantheon because his win rate is strong in the mid lane, which comes from the common matchups that he plays against. Based on the previous section, it's likely that the best changes for Pantheon would be to diminish his strength as a glass cannon. I'm going to largely talk about top lane (I'm most familiar with this role for Pantheon) because this is where the fighter class general thrives, but also because his role in other positions is more one-dimensional (as explained in the glass-cannon section).
Early Game/Lane Phase
In top lane and mid lane, pantheon's lane phase is largely similar. Usually the difference between playstyle is based less on lane and more on the range of the opponent. Pantheon has clear mana problems (I will get into this in my section on each of his abilities). In lane, he can usually use his full kit twice (essentially 2 e's, 3 w's before fully oom, not including q's). Other than his e, which drains him of mana, he has no defensive mechanics in his kit. He technically has his w to stun someone and walk away, but this doesn't negate damage nor does it sustain him - it also drains him of mana. So Pantheon relies on his Q in lane to poke to a point where his full combo is enough to get the enemy low. This is a strong strategy early game, but if you don't get his poke off, the enemy can easily all-in you from levels 3-5. So usually Pantheon succeeds on hard pushing the first wave to hit level 2 first - if the enemy doesn't respect the level 2, then they will lose the trade pretty hard. However, depending on the matchup, Pantheon can lose the level 1 and if the other player is aware of the matchup, then Pantheon is playing on the backfoot for a while. If the opponent respects the level 2, then they back up and usually nothing happens and you can get a cheater recall off (if perfect success, you have 450g which goes to boots + refillable). After first back, Pantheon excels at his poke trade patterns, and it's important that he is either freezing or crashing waves against his opponent. He's very good at not letting opponents freeze a wave assuming both Pantheon and his opponent are equal. However, if he's behind and frozen on, he will struggle greatly because he loses pretty much every all-in (from 100%) after level 3. As mentioned earlier, one of his strengths is to whittle the opponent down, but as long as they respect his range; Pantheon can't do much about it. This is where the jungler plays a crucial role for Pantheon top. Pantheon is great for setting up dives for most junglers and so he works very well with carry/damage oriented junglers. If Pantheon gets ahead, as long as his opponents don't give him a freeze and they respect Pantheon, Pantheon is very bad at pushing his lead in lane. If Pantheon keeps receiving help for the dives, it's likely his other lanes will start losing. This is why it's best for jungler teammates to gank early to get themselves ahead and transition their lead to winning the rest of the map. At this point, Pantheon's goals change to winning the lane through farm, not dying to ganks, and finding opportune moments to roam (particularly mid lane).
Mid Game
As the data suggests (I use lolalytics), Pantheon's win rate falls off a cliff in the mid game (and then comes back up a bit in the end game). The main reason, I believe, that Pantheon loses a lot of his win rate in the mid game is because he loses his poke-trade pattern. When tier-1 turrets fall, the lanes become longer and so enemies either give him the push, they all-in him in the long lane, or he gives them the push. Since his ultimate is 3 minutes long from levels 6-10 (and 2:30 from 11-15), he basically only has an ultimate once every 5 minutes for when dragon spawns. If Pantheon doesn't save his ultimate for objective spawn, he will find it very difficult to be effective in the team fight. It will require running to the fight early (or pushing strong, which means your mid laner (who is running tp) needs to cover weak side, which means you're fighting for position around the objective without your mid lane carry, which puts you at a disadvantage), and finding a good flank. Because he loses his poke trade pattern, he cannot 100-0 bruisers, he's often just farming up and waiting for fights. This is a fairly underwhelming trade pattern and can lead to Pantheon mains likely getting bored and starting unideal fights. Overall, his play pattern changes the most after the early game when the enemy opponent is not required to interact with Pantheon in a shorter lane.
Late Game
Late game has similar problems to early game, but his win rate stabilizes to 50% likely because of the confounding variable where a team that cannot beat Pantheon's team by 30 minutes, it could be because Pantheon's teammates are farther ahead and scale better. This is not to say Pantheon scales poorly. Pantheon's scaling is difficult to define. If Pantheon can stun or kill an enemy carry late game, his team will likely win the game. With Black cleaver and BotRK, Pantheon can also hold off most split pushers. However, he's not a win condition and is not great at applying pressure. He's good at taking one tower at a time if his team plays safe and enemy top laner doesn't have TP up, but since he cannot dive or all-in well, he cannot pressure an enemy in the 1v1.
Pantheon's Kit and Stats In this section, I will be looking at Pantheon's current kit to analyze the strengths and weaknesses. I will cover both their numbers, relative to other champions in his class as well as his former kit, and their concept. I will then discuss some of his base statistics. To save a bit of time reading, I will not be displaying the full text of each ability.
Passive - Mortal Will
Pantheon's passive is likely the most problematic part about his kit. Conceptually, it's generic. Pantheon's current passive requires him to have 5 stacks, which can be stacked from either autos or abilities, which can then empower one of his basic abilities. Previously, pantheon needed 4 stacks, which would cause the next basic attack to be blocked. Additionally, Pantheon's old W (same ability more or less) would give him his passive immediately and keep the stack counter the same. This means at 3 stacks, Pantheon could W a target, that target's auto would be blocked, then pantheon would auto, and the target's next auto would be blocked again. The old passive gave him a unique defensive tool which matched his thematic concept with his thematic playstyle. It also gave him tactical depth because he could W an opponent before their empowered auto to negate the damage. His current passive does not give him the same tactical depth, and actually limits his depth because of how reliant he is on empowered W as part of his trade pattern. It does offer you the choice though if you would like to kill your opponent immediately with empowered Q or chase them down a bit if you need a few more autos with empowered E (or just run away). But even if you did believe that his passive adds some depth, it still has two other major issues. The first is that it encourages Pantheon to be more auto-based. None of his kit except this part encourages auto attacks, nor does thematic concept or playstyle revolve around an auto-based kit. He's a midrange ad spell casting fighter, akin to Jayce, but instead of a melee/range form he should have a offensive/defensive balance. The second major issue with his passive is that it frontloads too much of his power into his basic abilities, which creates balance issues.
Q - Comet Spear
This is Pantheon's bread and butter, but it still has problems. To start with empowered Q, this may be one of the most satisfying abilities, but it's just too strong. His regular Q deals about half damage. While his poke in lane is good, it's not as good as it used to be. Pantheon used to have a Q that dealt 75/115/155/195/235 (+140 bonus AD), with a 4s CD, point and click and is 600 range. Pantheon's current regular Q deals 70/100/130/160/190 (+115% bonus AD) with a 4.4-3.2s CD, aoe skill shot, and 560 range. Old Pantheon used to fall off heavily after level 9 because his old Q was so weak, and it's a similar story now. In lane, this is a great ability; however, base weak is just very weak in all-ins. The other frustrating thing about his Q is its thrown version. Since this ability is his bread and butter, if you use the thrown version, it becomes an 11-second CD rather than 4.4s. This means you basically have to back off after using thrown Q. Therefore, the only time you should be using it is when you've clearly won the fight and you're looking for chip-damage or you're trying to execute. In the first case, it's pretty meaningless because they'll just back at this point. In the second case, it's great! However my point is that thrown Q is a fake part of the spell, it does more harm than good when using it. It gets worse though, since if you try to use thrown Q through a minion wave, it gets reduced by 50% if thrown through a minion wave. It has its fringe uses, but I think it has room for improvement. In general, I think this is a great ability, but it must be remembered when looking at solutions for this champion.
W - Shield Vault
This is Pantheon's best ability, for the reasons listed above. A point-and-click stun is just strong. I think everything about this ability is fair; however, it may even be too strong, and changing the ability so that it's not point-and-click should be considered. The big issue with his W is it's empowered version. There are two problems and a big consideration with this ability. The first problem The first problem is that the three auto attacks are just so strong with on-hit. I considered BotRK to be Pantheon's best item by far last patch because the 3 auto's at 12% current health was the only thing winning him 1v1s. Similarly, Pantheon is able to stack conqueror, black cleaver, and PTA well with this combo. While this may sound like a benefit to him, it moves away from a preferred thematic concept. This leads into my second point, the three autos feel small with the quick animation and high pitch audio. They're three little stabs, and when you don't go BotRK, they really don't deal much damage. Thematically, this just feels bad, it feels like an ability that xin zhao, fiora, gwen, irelia, kat, shaco, or talon would have. When it comes to playstyle, there's no skill expression with this second part either, it's just the same W and since their stunned and your auto attack timer is up, it's basically just a free "combo". The consideration that needs to be made is how it stacks Pantheon's passive. While it did fully stack the old passive, his old passive was... passive, it wasn't part of his offensive trade pattern. Pantheon's current trade pattern almost always starts with empowered W because it becomes a free empowered Q (or E sometimes). His W being a passive stacking mechanic is what brings down the depth of his trade pattern.
E - Aegis Assault
Pantheon's E is pragmatically his most problematic ability. It's pragmatically problematic (rather than thematically) because the base ability is so strong (there's a theme here if you can't tell). Because it's so strong, the CD is super high, the damage is low, the empowered E got heavily nerfed a few seasons ago, and the mana cost is also high. To compare his current E to his old E: Current E has a CD from 22-18, costs 80 mana, and deals 55-255 (+150 bonus AD). Old E used to have a 10-6 CD, cost 45-65 mana, and dealt 100-300 (+300% bonus AD). Yes, you're reading that right. 300 + 300% bonus ad on a 6s CD with only 65 mana, which you would get at level 9 if maxed first. Talon R total physical damage (hits both parts) deals 360 (+200% bonus AD) at level 16. I'm not suggesting to return Pantheon's current E to similar damage, I am just trying to highlight how much damage was lost in Pantheon's kit. If I recall correctly, Pantheon was around 54% wr top consistently prior to being reworked; nowadays he sits below 50% as a "simple" champion (he's currently ranked 65/95 champions according to lolalytics over the last 30 days in emerald+). The two main issues with this ability are it's cooldown as well as its mana cost. Pantheon has 1 defensive ability and it feels like you only get to use this as a last resort. It feels like you don't get to play with the shield as a spear and shield guy. And when you do use it, you're severely punished mana-wise. Lastly, his empowered E just feels bad. Rarely do I use empowered E offensively, and it's much more likely that I use it to run away after. Although since the movement speed is small and only lasts 1.5s, you're likely to get caught afterwards in a long lane, which is why he has to play so scared in the long lane. However, even if you do escape, he's not (nor feels like) the champion that tanks in a fight and stays, he tanks a bit and runs away. Again, playing with a cowardly playstyle.
I want to compare his defensive ability to that of other champions in the same class. On top of Camille's mobility and healing, her passive shields every 14-10s (lvl 1-13). Fiora W costs 50 mana and CD is 24-16s. Gangplank W costs 60-100 mana (usually 60 since maxed last) and CD is 22-14. Riven E is manaless and the cd is 10-6s. Gwen W is 60 mana and CD is 22-18s. Irelia W is 70-90 mana and CD is 20-12s. Jax E is 50-90 mana and 15-9 CD. Olaf W is 50 mana and is 16-12 CD. Sett W is manaless and 18-12 cs. Volibear E is 60 mana and CD is 12s. Assuming Pantheon can even survive in the 1v1 after a full use of spells, all of these champions will have big defensive spells up like 4-8s sooner than Pantheon. During the early game, his ability is more mana hungry and his E loses in often 3 different ways compared to his fighting counterparts. What's most important though is that Pantheon's shield should be defining in his playstyle, but since you can't use it often, you feel like you're just the spear guy.
R - Grand Starfall
Pantheon's R has remained the same the most compared to all of his abilities through the rework. One thing to note is that his ult used to be 2:30-2:00 CD while his current ult is 3:00-2:30, which feels a bit bad. But all global abilities in League have been strong and so they need to be gated behind a long cooldown. I think this is more or less okay, and his ultimate does play into his thematic concept and playstyle well. I think his old ultimate had a bit more oomf to it but both of them are betteworse in minor ways. I think there is a way to reimagine this ability in a following section, but for now I think this is a great ability that needs to be changed the least. However, the 30% armor penetration that was added to his kit a few seasons ago is a band aid solution. In fact, it what makes his glass cannon build so much stronger because lethality becomes more gold effective on him.
Base Statistics
Mana - Pantheon has a starting mana of 317, which puts him the bottom 3rd of base starting mana as a spell-casting (rather than auto based) melee fighter (let's also remember that much of top lane are manaless champions). Pantheon is in the bottom 15% of champions for mana mana growth per level (31/lvl). In the list of champions with a worse growth coefficient are all mages; the next 3 are auto-based fringe top laners (ww, nocturne, quinn), while Poppy - a champion with 2 possible mana items that they are able to purchase in their class - is the next closest (40/lvl). Camille and Jax are the next comparable champions (52/lvl).
For Pantheon's other stats, he usually is in the realm of the fighter class (which has higher base stats on average) but is usually near the bottom in his class. However, it should be noted that his base health regen and health regen coefficient are both low for his class, and without any healing or cheap shielding in his kit, he will often get out endured in a lane where he doesn't have good opportunities to back. For a champion who's playstyle should be partially about sustained fighting, he is bad at it from a base statistics perspective.
Small Changes These are my band aid solutions. These are direction suggestions and the exact numbers shouldn't be taken literally. Also, since I'm including multiple suggestions, I know that adding all or even multiple of them will make Pantheon overpowered. These are just the directions I suggest the balance team should take.
Q: Have the base Q scale harder off of bonus AD (remember old Pantheon Q had +140%). Compensate by nerfing Q5 base damage by a bit or nerfing empowered Q base scaling.
Q: Either make thrown Q able to deal full damage through minions, or reduce cool down of thrown Q. If cool down is reduced, nerf tap Q cool down refund respectively.
W: Remove the effectiveness of the on-hit portion of his W.
E: Buff this ability overall. Reduce mana cost to something like 60-90. Reduce cooldown from 22-18 to 16-12; however, nerf W cool down to 16-12 in response. It would make sense that these two abilities are up at similar times (similar to alistar Q and W) so that there's more choice between spell usage.
E: This damage can be buffed. This ability basically deals 3 auto attacks worth of damage over a 1.5s duration.
R: Remove the armor pen.
Increase base mana, base mana regen, and base health regen.
Larger Changes These larger changes are more unrealistic.
Tap Q: Slows enemy by 5/10/15/20/25% for 1s. Serylda's grudge got massively nerfed for Pantheon because he can no longer go Black Cleaver + Serylda's, and also the slow was nerfed to below 50%. If a champion is below 50% while Pantheon is on them, they're basically dead (assuming he hasn't used his abilities yet). A slow on his Q, while incredibly strong - and should perhaps be tuned by champion level rather than skill rank - gives him the ability to space opponents and play that endurance fight more effectively. He keeps them at bay slowing them and so they can't chase him down as easily in the long lane.
E: Do the E small changes (regarding mana and CD) but also make the channel a smaller window. A 0.75-1s channel window makes the ability more skillful and allows room for buffs.
Empowered E: Refund cool down on E. Something like 50% allows his 22s cd to come back up in 11s can be big as a defensive option.
Redesigning Pantheon To reiterate, here's what I would want from Pantheon's kit: balance of offensive and defensive, spell-based mid range melee fighter (mid range similar to ryze, cass), mostly endurance fighter but some opportunity for burst, and someone who can be a front line or duelist. With this in mind, we need to set up some weaknesses. He can't be a burst champion, he has too many tools that we need to give his enemies time to outplay him. Since he's mid range, he will be weak to champions that out-range him. With this combination, it should be hard for him to jump on an enemy, but if he does, there should be time for them to react. This means he will be weak to mages and supports which should shift him out of mid lane and support.
Passive - Mortal Will
Pantheon generates a stack of Mortal Will whenever he lands an ability on an enemy champion or large monster, stacking up to 3 times. At 3 stacks, Pantheon's next basic ability consumes the stacks to become empowered. Pantheon gains maximum stacks of Mortal Will upon starting the game, completing a Recall channel, and respawning.
Note - The purpose of changing this ability to 3 stacks means that he has to be more skillful with his abilities. He can't just rely on autoing minions or Q-ing the air to get himself to full stacks. This will also nudge him away from being an auto-based champion. With 3 stacks it will will take longer to get multiple passive procs, but this allows for the passive to be strong. If you can extend the fight, Pantheon will shine.
Q - Comet Spear
Cost: 45 (20 mana nerf) Cooldown: 5/4.5/4/3.5/3 Range: -40 - 560 / 1100 Cast time, width, speed: same. For the rest of the ability, I would keep the text and numbers largely the same. Added: Tapping Comet Spear refunds 55% of the mana cost (~25 mana total). Comet Spear impales his target causing them to bleed for 3s and take 5/10/15/20/25 (+ 25% bonus AD) total physical damage over the duration. Empowered Q will cause the bleed to deal double damage.
Note - This needs to be his major damage source. As mentioned above, tap Q has a 4.4-3.2s CD with 0 ability haste, so this would technically be a minor nerf early game, however this gives him his thrown ability back. Thrown Q is harder to hit because you need to channel the ability for 0.55s to throw as well as the speed, while fast, is slower than an instant tap Q. It will still take reduced damage through the minions which means that it shouldn't be great for harassing range opponents, but it will give him some ability to play into the matchup after his loss of engage and burst (as you will see). To also mitigate this buff to thrown Q, the mana cost is nerfed to old Pantheon's Q cost, however the mana is refunded if used for tap Q. The bleed damage backloads the damage a bit which gives time for enemies to react. The bleed does not stack, but does get refreshed upon further Comet Spear hits. Bleed should be added to Pantheon's kit because it brings out the endurance side of his thematic playstyle. Bleed will keep conqueror, grasp, black cleaver and other similar effects up which highlights that he's still in the fight. Additionally, this damage will mitigate the damage that is lost from being an auto-based champion, as well as mitigate effects from passive/active health regen and items/runes such as doran's shield and second wind (old Pantheon had this problem where he lost every matchup into players who took doran's shield + second wind). The empowered Comet Spear getting double bleed damage is to mirror that this ability practically does double damage. Lastly, the numbers for the bleed were chosen to mimic Darius' Hemorrhage (passive) which does 13-30 (based on level) (+30% bonus AD), but stacks up to 5 times. 3 seconds was chosen as a timeframe for the bleed for Pantheon because he can make full use of it early game, but once it's rank 5 and with ability haste, he won't be benefitting from a spam Q playstyle and will be slightly rewarded for playing it slower. Lastly, the bleed damage can be used to balance his Jungle clear since he won't be getting his passive up as easily without the auto-based passive.
W - Shield Bash (New Spell)
Active: Pantheon bashes his shield in front of him. Enemies near Pantheon are also stunned for 0.5s and knocked back up to 300 units based on their proximity to him. Damage is the same as what's on PBE right now (5-7% max HP + ap scaling). Effect Radius: 300 Cast time: 0.35s Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 (1s nerf). Empowered W will be the current Shield Vault. The damage will be the same, but it will be a skill shot similar to Malphite ultimate, although smaller radius, slower travel speed, stuns rather than knocks up, and Pantheon will have a 0.25s animation lock upon landing.
Note - Shield bash is pretty much a copy of Maokai's inner Bramble Smash (Q) which knocks back enemies. It doesn't have the extended range, slow or damage though. The point of this ability on Pantheon is that it gives him a defensive tool that gets melee champions off of him, which helps his midrange play style. The reliable stun which comes up every 6 seconds in the mid/late game going away takes away his current identity of being a stun-bot. Additionally, he takes away his burst and dive potential since it's harder for him to get onto targets. He will have to either use empowered W to get onto target or his ultimate. Shield Bash also gives more out play potential because you can time melee champs out of their attack (if you're familiar with Maokai, you know how strong this can be). Ultimately, this makes Pantheon become a disengage-poke champion which plays into that midrange thematic playstyle. As for the empowered W, this will give him the flexibility to engage, and with it being an AOE spell, it allows him to be a strong team fighter. However, because it's a skill shot rather than point-and-click, it gives his opponents potential to outplay. Often carries would flash Pantheon's Shield Vault but would still get hit by the stun which is unfair to them. The purpose of the 0.25s animation lock after casting gives him the heavier and slower rolling feel that you get in dark souls games but also it's meant to be clearly weaker than Malphite ultimate. Also this ability helps Pantheon run away from enemies which is important for a side laner, but also the animation lock gives them a little room to hit a skill shot on you. Also, if you are using this ability to run away, you will find that your passive is down and since you have to hit enemy champions (or large jungle monsters), you will often find yourself at a disadvantage for the next find or if they try to pursue you.
E - Aegis Assault
Cost: 50/60/70/80/90 Cool down: 22/20/18/16/14 Duration: 1s Effect radius, angle, and everything else is the same. Due to less duration, Aegis Assault deals damage 8 times (every 0.125s to enemies hit). Empowered E inflicts armor reduction for 5% each time an enemy takes damage from Aegis Assault up to 40% armor reduction for 5 seconds.
Note - The cost is lowered early so you're not as heavily punished for using it. The cool down remains the same early to be in line with other early game defensive abilities. However, as a spear and shield champion, he should have this ability up more often in the mid and late game. Because of this, the duration should go down and mana up slightly to compensate. The damage is being nerfed slightly also since it doesn't last 1.5s. The empowered E getting armor reduction helps his team fighting prowess and will likely only give him the armor reduction against front liners. This greatly takes away his power to burst squishy targets and also means that he won't be using his empowered W to stun opponents (carries). Here there are significant trade offs to using his abilities for offensive vs defense in a more satisfying way. Additionally, if enemies don't take the full channel of armor shred, they're not getting their armor reduced which should be slightly weaker against mobile enemies in the 1v1 but stronger against tanks.
R - Grand Starfall
Remove the armor penetration from ultimate rank up. New passive: Hitting an enemy with an ability slows affected units by 10/20/30% for 1s.
Note - The slow will give him his true duelist potential in the mid/late parts of the game because it allows him to space appropriately against the mobility creep. Without Serylda's Grude Pantheon doesn't have the ability to stick on targets well over a duration of time which is partially why he needed to be burst-oriented. The slow should alleviate this issue and allow his mid-range thematic playstyle to shine. It's important to note that this only works on abilities that hit enemies and therefore doesn't work on the bleed that was added to his kit. Taking away the armor penetration also goes away from his glass-cannon build.
Conclusion Pantheon's current kit misses the mark for what should be his thematic concept and thematic playstyle. He should be a warrior that can go into battle or a duel with a balance of offense and defense, outplay his opponent through a fight of attrition while having his moments for heavy damage. He should not be a pseudo-assassin who can't 1v1 in the side lane and is scared to walk up. I have highlighted his issues above which come from being mana hungry while also being too auto-dependent when he should be ability dependent. The "Small Changes" section shows reasonable band-aid fixes to his kit. The "Larger Changes" section are some fixes that drastically change a few of his abilities but are what's needed to make his playstyle feel better. The "Redesigning Pantheon" is how I would go about reimagining this champion to fit the thematic playstyle and concept that he deserves. It is largely a rework, and the numbers are not exact, but this gives a lot of complexity to a champion that currently plays more generically than he seems.
This took me a long time to write and I'm happy to hear all questions and comments about any part of this document or Pantheon in general. Pantheon is my highest mastery champion (however I'm far from a one-trick) and I've hit Masters in multiple roles if that's something that's important to the discussion. Thank you for reading.

this is a continuation of my prediction comment here.
now in my opinion there are 4 girls pretty much locked for part 2 (yes nobody's safe but these 4 are very likely given that ive seen them in everyone's lineup but definitely keep voting for them): jeemin, sujung, yuju and koko.
the last 2 spots are where the real battle is and in my opinion there are 5 girls fighting for those 2 spots: yeeun, lingling, gyuri, yui and juwon. if anyone else makes it into part 2 i would be shocked..
who makes it into part 2 will depend on if casual fans' collective impact or if passionate fanbases' impact is higher.
casual fans: what i mean by casual fans are fans who wouldn't have necessarily voted for said trainee if it was 1 pick. they are fans who are voting for who they want to save, not necessarily who they want to debut. they are fans that don't necessarily passionately love said picks (instead just "like" them) but believe they are talented and deserve to move on to part 2. these are fans that may forget to vote and don't really make it a priority. they might even be rotating some of their other picks with them. yui and juwon are examples of contestants with the most casual fans (doesn't mean they don't have any passionate fans but my guess is that the majority of their fanbase is more casual). this is also regional, and like i mentioned in my comment, western/north american fans tend to fall into this category.
passionate fans: passionate fans are fans who are just that - passionate. they love their chosen pick and would have voted for them if it was only 1 pick. they don't just care about their trainee making it to the next round, they want them to debut. they will vote daily. they might even use multiple devices or urge their friends to vote. they are definitely not swapping out their pick with other picks. lingling and yeeun are examples of contestants with the most passionate fans (also doesn't mean they don't have any casual fans but my guess is that the majority of their fanbase is more passionate). asian fanbases tend to be more passionate and are more invested in their picks making it. lingling has a huge SEA fanbase and yeeun has a big Korean and Chinese fanbase.
gyuri is in a unique position where i feel like she has a combination of casual + passionate fans. im not sure if that puts her in a better or worse position than the other 4, perhaps squarely in the middle.
thus, who makes it into part 2 will depend on if the collective impact of casual fans can overpower the impact of passionate fanbases. just scanning reddit almost nobody has lingling and yeeun in their 6 pick but a good 90% have either yui, juwon or both. reddit is popular among western/NA fans so a good example of the casual fan category i described above but im guessing if you're commenting on reddit you fall more into the passionate fan category.
in my opinion, i-land isn't super popular among kpop fans in any region which means there are not as many casual fans as there could be and my prediction is that the impact of passionate fans will be stronger, hence propelling yeeun and lingling as the last 2 into part 2. but i really could be wrong.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Other_Salt3889
My wife is addicted to the gym and it’s ruining our marriage
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & survivinginfidelity
BoRU 1
BoRU 2
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, physical violence, anger management issues, emotional manipulation
Original Post Feb 1, 2024
My wife is 30 years old and she’s always worked out and been in shape, but lately I feel like it’s becoming excessive.
She used to regularly work out at a gym when she was in college. At some point she stopped going to the gym, I think lately just due to her schedule, and preferred to work out at home or go for runs outside.
About 18 months ago she announced she was going to get back into the habit of going to the gym. She now had a job where she’s able to make more time for it. It started off normal, but slowly became more and more frequent. She signed up for classes on the weekend (both days), she started going to the gym every day, then it became the morning before work and then again later in the evening. Every single day. If she’s stressed, she goes to the gym. Experience some sort of life crisis. She immediately heads to the gym. We have an argument - runs to the gym.
She’s 4 months pregnant right now. I’m kind of surprised we even had time to make a kid. I understand that it’s safe for her to work out, especially since she was already in the habit of doing it before she got pregnant, but the intensity is not slowing down.
If she misses one of her normal gym session she becomes so irritable, like a junkie not getting her fix. It’s just bizarre. Truly a case of too much of a good thing.
Of course she gets upset when I voice that I feel it’s becoming an unhealthy obsession and that I miss spending time with her because she’s there so much. She has all of these friends and this whole circle of people there that she seems to prefer spending time with over me. Why don’t we work out together at the gym? The gym is her time, she says. This isn’t a case of me feeling insecure because she’s in great physical shape and I’m a fat slob. I work out and am in shape - my job really requires me to stay in shape so I can’t let myself go if I want to.
I genuinely feel her gym habits are unhealthy. She’s over exercising, for one. There is such a thing. But worse than that, I feel it’s becoming a way for her to escape everything else in her life. She never actually fixed anything that goes wrong in her life. She just runs off to the gym to get some sort of mood boost and then that’s it. She also never gets anything else done in a practical sense because how can she when she’s at the gym so often? It’s to the point where I have to do every chore and if food is getting made I’m going to have to do it. I don’t expect her to do all of those things, but it should at least be a shared effort.
People we know have even commented about it to me. They’ve said things about how she seems different, how she “sure is at the gym a lot,” and many of her friends and family barely see her anymore. Some have even suggested she’s having an affair with somebody there.
Please tell me that this doesn’t sound normal to you. She insists this is perfectly normal.
Update Feb 11, 2024
I posted not very long ago about my wife’s addiction to the gym. A compulsion, if you will. She spends most of her free time there. She often goes twice a day, and sometimes even 3 times if we have a fight at night and she needs to run off instead of actually talking to me.
She won’t let me go to her gym and she refuses to go to mine. Her gym is her place, my gym is my place, and that’s just the way it has to be according to her. I’d love to have her come along with me. I’ve invited her multiple times.
She’s about 18 weeks pregnant right now. This is our first baby. She worked out like crazy prior to the pregnancy and she continues to just as hard now.
I truly didn’t think she was cheating on me. People suggested it in the last thread and I laughed. You can tell she’s at the gym a lot, she’s in great shape. So she’s obviously going there. I felt really confident about the cheating issue and when I posted 9 days ago I wasn’t even considering cheating.
I’m embarrassed to admit that after reading a lot of the comments on my last post, I thought maybe I was being overly confident about her fidelity. She usually always has her phone on her, but she left it in the kitchen counter and as stupid as I felt, I decided to do a quick swipe through her texts. She had a current text conversation going on with a guy. I recognized the name. The same name of a guy from the gym she mentions a lot. She’s friends with a lot of people there, went to one of their weddings last fall. I wasn’t too terribly concerned until I started reading the texts. Never wanted to know what the guy’s dick looked like, but I know now.
She was only out of the room for literally about a minute or two, so I had to scroll fast. I was furious. I asked her what the fuck that conversation was about. She started yelling at me for looking at her phone. I told her she’s acting so weird and the gym obsession was really bothering me so I just decided to look, and was ashamed that I did, but that’s I thought I’d find nothing all. She said “it’s nothing! It’s nothing!” Didn’t look like nothing to me. She sure seemed pretty interested in this “nothing.” I wanted to know if she’s been fucking him. For how long? She kept saying no. I left the house because I was so furious, but not before I slammed her phone on the ground and shattered it. She was calling me all sorts of names for breaking her phone. She hit me on the back as hard as she could. I left. Went to my brother’s house. My brother and sister in law were shocked, although my sister in law was one of the most vocal ones about my wife’s gym obsession being weird and bringing it up to me constantly.
I went home. She was in bed crying. She obviously couldn’t call me or anyone else for that matter. She was laying it on thick, “I don’t know if you’d ever come home.” Give me a break.
I took her phone to get repaired tonight. She doesn’t deserve it but I still feel like an ass breaking her phone.
I still don’t know how deep it goes. She won’t admit to anything beyond what I saw. Was it sexting (bad enough) or more? I’m convinced it was a lot more, but she refuses to hand over her phone and is now trying to act like I’m this terrible monster who is abusing her because I broke her phone. Not my proudest moment, but I honestly wanted to body slam her after she punched me. I have never and would never actually touch her like that.
Update 2 - My wife admitted to an affair Feb 12, 2024
Not sure if posting something in my profile will be seen by anyone, but I don’t feel like making another update in a subreddit.
Today my wife asked me to stay home from work so we could “talk.” She laid in bed all day yesterday trying to get me to feel sorry for her, but I paid absolutely no attention to her and ended up leaving the house to go to my family’s Super Bowl party. I wasn’t in the mood to go but I wasn’t going to sit at home with her. It really bothered her that I left. She kept texting me things like “Who just leaves like that? When something like this is happening, who is that cold and callous that they just leave to go to a party.”
I stayed home today to talk to her. She was full of tears, she’s “so sorry.”
According to her, she really was going to the gym twice a day because she likes going there, that’s where her friends are, makes her feel good, it’s “fun” for her. She met this guy there and he started flirting with her. Everyone likes him. He’s one of the most popular guys there. I didn’t realize there were popular people at gyms.
She admitted that she flirted back but didn’t mean anything by it. She didn’t reciprocate very much at first, but he gave her “butterflies” and she just found herself flirting back without thinking. She said it felt like when she had a crush on somebody when she was in school when she was younger. They started texting. At first it was just friendly and nothing sexual for several months, but she’d feel giddy every time she got a message from him. She was really attracted to him, but told him that she was married and there could never actually be anything between them.
According to her, he kept flirting with her anyway and said “sure, we won’t cross the line.” Until they did cross the line. She said she had tried to resist it for a while, but then one day they kissed. She admitted to enjoying it but also feeling that it was wrong. She must not have felt that bad because she slept with him for the first time later that night.
She described it like falling in love with somebody for the first time. All she could think about what him. Is she in love with him? She doesn’t know.
Is this baby mine? She thinks so but there’s always a small chance it could be his. He always uses a condom so she doesn’t think it’s his baby but they were sleeping together at the time she got pregnant.
She loves me. She can’t help that there’s just this huge spark between the two of them.
She doesn’t know if she loves him. She doesn’t know if the baby is mine. She doesn’t know why she did this. She doesn’t know what she thinks we should do.
The nail in the coffin is when she said “You would really leave me if it’s not your baby would you?” She had the balls to ask me that. I told her of course I’m leaving her and I wouldn’t raise another man’s child. She seemed shocked. She said “really? With everything we have and all our history, you wouldn’t even consider it?” She can’t be serious. I told her no I would never consider it.
She agreed to get a DNA test. She tearfully agreed, like I’m supposed to feel sorry for her about it?
I don’t know who this woman is. She was crying the whole time, but not tears of an ashamed or sorry person. They were tears for herself and meant to try to make me feel bad. Feel bad for what? That her heart is apparently so torn?
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO
OOP

She’s ruined my life, but I just feel numb right now. I barely feel anything at the moment.
It would have been bad enough for her to have an affair and cheat on me. But she couldn’t have stopped when she found out she was pregnant? At least I could have walked away if it wasn’t for this pregnancy. Maybe a still can, but I won’t know for sure until I get some test results. She’s almost positive the baby is mine. Im stuck dealing with her forever then. My child will grow up with divorced parents. Their mom will be the gym bike. Maybe she’ll even take off to live near her family and take my kid with her. Oh but then she couldn’t be near the guy who gives her butterflies and fucks her in gym changing rooms. The thrill, the excitement, how can I even blame her?
She’s ruined fatherhood for me, whether this is my kid or not. If by some chance this isn’t my baby and I’m able to completely break free, how will I not think of this one day when I start a family? I was so fucking happy to have this baby with her. I was really excited, even though we hadn’t planned for it right now. We have names picked out. I’ve been there for everything and now she does this to me. Not only me, but this poor kid regardless of who their father is.

~
OOP

She’s saying “I’ll never go back to the gym again. I’ll never talk to him again.” But she can’t say whether she’s in love with him or not? What kind of idiot does she think I am?

TTIsurvivors

She still thinks there is hope to save your relationship? Jesus Christ.

OOP

Yeah, I believe she still thinks there’s a chance I’ll agree to raise another man’s child with her. She doesn’t take me seriously when I say there’s no way I’d do that. She is dependent on me. She probably wouldn’t leave me if I knocked somebody else up and wanted her to play mommy. I know that sounds terrible and it’s nothing I’d ever do but I feel like she’d be mad and she’d go screw somebody else to get back at me but she probably would be too scared to actually leave me. I don’t feel the same way about leaving her. I’m sad to leave her. I don’t want this to be our reality. I can’t even say that I completely hate her yet. But I won’t raise another man’s child. If she feels so strongly about that guy and he’s so wonderful, go get together with him then and leave everyone else alone.

~

She was practically on her knees yesterday saying “I won’t go back to the gym. I won’t ever contact him again.” I feel like that doesn’t really mesh with the fact that she doesn’t even know if she’s in love with him or not. She obviously still has very strong feelings for him, which are probably coming more from between her legs than her actual heart but doesn’t really matter either way to me.
I think despite anything to do with him, she’s dependent on me in a way. For stability, maybe. Just out of comfort, maybe. We’ve been together since she was 20 years old, so I’m just this familiar person I guess. She has her gym friends out here but other than that she has no family or friends out here. She makes pretty good money, but I make more and all of our benefits are through me. Even with her good salary, it would be difficult to survive on her own as a single mom here with all of the daily living expenses, or at least live anywhere near the level she wants to live at.

~

Today is the day she was crying all night about how she’s ruined her life. She seemed genuine, like reality is hitting her, but I didn’t pay any attention to her at all. I just pretended she wasn’t there.
I did ask her if she’ll get blood drawn for a paternity test. I asked her to please not hurt me further by keeping me in limbo about that for months. She said she doesn’t want to.

OOP on if he got a lawyer and if he ever met the AP

I’m meeting with a lawyer next week and will see what they advise.
How can she parade me around when I’ve never been allowed to go to her gym? I’ve met two of the people, a slightly older married couple.
Yes, I met the AP. Last summer he called her because he was drunk at a bar and couldn’t drive home, so he called her to come get him. I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to go pick somebody up late at night, so I went with her.
I want her out of the house but I don’t necessarily want her to fly back home to where she’s from just yet. If this is my kid and she gives birth out here I’ll be in a much better position. If she leaves and goes home to her parents, she could very well be allowed to stay there and that would be considered the baby’s place of residence.
She missed a few days of work, but she has gone to work since all of this happened. She was having a meltdown this morning and I left for work. She told me had to go in late today and when she got there everybody was making her food and tea and stuff. She obviously didn’t tell them what really happened.

How long the affair was happening

She claims they’ve been sleeping together since the summer. Thats just what she claims, of course.

My wife is moving in with her AP, they’re “in love” Feb 22, 2024
My life has been reduced to a trashy daytime talk show.
The woman who was once my wife, who I considered a classy woman, has turned into complete trailer trash.
Today she announced that she’s moving in with her affair partner from the gym. She’s pregnant, might be his kid, might be mine. She’s too embarrassed to go get blood drawn for a paternity test.
She spent about a week trying to get my attention, to get me to talk to her, to get me to beg her to be mine. I didn’t fall for any of it. I’ve largely been ignoring her and when we have to speak I keep it very brief. We’ve been living together this whole time, but I’m in a different room now and functioning separate from her in all ways.
So, her pouting and trying to get me to pay attention to her and give her a gold star for not going to the gym for 5 days in a row didn’t work. Today she texted me to say she is moving in with him.
Somehow I still care about this person. I’ve already met with a lawyer though. I can care about her as a human being and possible mother of my child without being married to her. Still, it stung to hear her say she was going to be with him. I told her it wasn’t a smart move to leave the house. I’ve even told her she should probably meet with a lawyer. She doesn’t care about anything I have to say. I don’t think she needs to move in with anybody. I actually feel bad for her that she can’t just be on her own.
I asked her if he actually knew she was pregnant and wanted to know what story she’s been telling him this whole time. She said he knows and he doesn’t care if it’s my baby, he loves her and wants to be with her. Bizarre. You can’t find anyone else? Somebody who isn’t a married, pregnant woman? Why would you take that on? Doesn’t make sense to me. He’s scum but he’s good looking scum who apparently is gainfully employed and owns his own home, so you can’t tell me that my married, pregnant wife is your only option here. I just can’t imagine being a single guy like that and wanting to put up with this baggage when I could have other options.
And if this really is my baby then what? They’ll live with my wife and this weasel 50% of the time?
I don’t know how my life turned into this mess. And she thinks it’s embarrassing to have to go get blood drawn?!?!
My wife has agreed to a paternity test Feb 29, 2024
My wife moved in with her AP last weekend. She didn’t take very much at all. Most of her stuff is still in our house. I still get the feeling she was just waiting for me to beg her to come home, but I didn’t reach out to her at all after she left.
It was a strange mixture of relief, anger, and sadness. I don’t think I ate at all until last night. Just never felt hungry. Drank a little too much. But I’m fine.
I’m posting this update because I’ve received a ton of messages from people and honestly it’s emotionally draining to respond to each one and to have to type the same stuff out. I just don’t feel like talking about her that much.
So this morning she texted me to say her AP wants to get a DNA test done, so she’s going to do it. Look at that, didn’t matter when I wanted one but now that he has requested it she suddenly thinks it’s a great idea. She asked if I wanted to submit a sample because it’ll be cheaper to have 2 dads tested as part of one package. I don’t even care about the cost at this point, I just want an answer.
I don’t have to see or interact with them at all. I just have to make my own appointment with the lab to get my cheek swabbed. So this Saturday I’m going to do that and we should have the results within a week.
I’ll take what I can get at this point because it’s better than her dragging this out for another 20 weeks.
So that’s it. I’m fine. I’m going to work every day. Trying to function. Just feel stuck in limbo. I miss her. Honestly, I hate that she’s there with him. It makes me sick. Part of me does want to beg her to come home. It’ll be even worse if I find out that it’s my baby and she’s there with him. Unless he drops her at that news. I won’t let myself beg her. I won’t play any of those games with her.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/UPDATES
March 8, 2024
TTIsurvivors

Have you gotten the paternity test results?

OOP

At 11:00 this morning I got the news that I’m the father. I feel incredibly conflicted right now.

jacobe_bryant8

Is she asking to come back home? Or is she still planning on staying with the other guy? Regardless this is a rough situation I’m sorry for you bro.

OOP

We haven’t talked.

jacobe_bryant8

Understandable but I think that you should try and set up a meeting with her somewhere public to discuss the pregnancy and the future in general with her. Whether or not your marriage is going to end the kid is still going to be a big part of your lives so it would be best to see where both of you stand in that regard. Also I recall you saying earlier that you think that your wife would listen to what her affair partner would say to her (or something similar to that) so now that it’s not his kid I would be concerned about him pressuring her into getting a abortion. So I think you really should talk to your wife about your unborn child and whatnot.

OOP

We definitely need to talk, but I got the news in the middle of a work day so I wasn’t in the mood to have a full blown conversation with her. I think I need to sort of wrap my head around the reality of it all before I say too much to her anyway.

And update on my wife’s affair and pregnancy March 15, 2024
My wife has been having an affair with a guy she met at the gym for at least nearly a year. She’s around 22 weeks pregnant right now. She was somewhere around 17 weeks when I discovered she was cheating. She maintained that she was positive I was the father, but then refused to get a paternity test done to ease my mind.
We recently had a paternity test done (at the request of her affair partner) and it proves the baby is mine. It’s been very mixed emotions for me, very up and down. Originally I thought I just wanted to be completely done with her and not have any lifelong ties in the form of a full blown human being we shared, but I was sort of happy or relieved when I got the results. I’d already had it in my mind that I was going to be a father for months before I found out she was cheating. Sometimes I just have moments where I can’t believe this is my life, that this is the situation that my kid will be born into and I hate her for it.
She’s still living with him. All of her belongings are still here in our house. I refuse to do the work of packing everything up for her. She doesn’t seem concerned about taking any her things, beyond the essentials.
After we got the news that I’m the baby’s father, she texted me to say she’s glad I’m the father and that she knows I’ll be a great dad. She was texting me new baby name ideas last night. She’s tried calling but I ignore the calls. I only speak with her via text. This morning she asked if she could come by and get a few things. I told her it was fine, as I’ve been advised by my lawyer to not prevent her entry from the home, but I told her that he better not be with her.
So who shows up with her? The scumbag boyfriend. He walks right on into the house behind her like it’s no big deal. She ran upstairs to get the stuff she wanted and he and I were just left standing there in the living room. He told me it wasn’t her fault that he was there. She told him I didn’t want come but he forced his way along. He wanted to talk to me, supposedly, to tell me he “understand how I must be feeling.” No, you don’t know. He told me he knows I probably don’t believe him, but he genuinely loves her and knew he probably wasn’t the father. He accepts it and then tried to assure me he won’t try to take my place with the baby and hopes we can just get along since we’re both going to be in her life now. He “promises” that she’s fine, he’s looking after her. I told him that I couldn’t for the life of me imagine what he wanted with a pregnant woman who is having another man’s child, that I found it weird. Then I told him if he didn’t get out of my house I’d punch him. I went upstairs and she was trying to find somebody things in the bathroom. I got mad, asked her why she brought him along, and told her I find it really strange that he still wants to be with her now that he knows he has nothing to do with this baby - and that I refuse to let him have anything to do with my child. She said he talked her into coming and she’s sorry and never meant for any of this to happen but she’s in love with him now. He is supposedly what 30 year old her is looking for, not me. She’s setting up a nursery in his house and I can set one up at my house and she has no intention of trying to get full custody or anything like that. She doesn’t want to keep me from being involved in my child’s life. How generous of her.
She went back downstairs and I followed her and he was still standing there in the living room and I just walked up to him and punched him. He stumped back and fall into a table. She yelled “What the fuck?!” and ran over to him. I don’t even care at this point. As if he’s going to call the cops? He deserved it and it wouldn’t have happened had he just left like I told him to.
Several hours later she texted me to say she was sorry about today. He really meant what he said and he’s actually a good guy and he cares about her and he respect me. Wtf? He respects me?! He was screwing my wife in the gym locker room! I was like you can’t be serious. She said “Fine! I’m trying to have a mature conversation about this. I can’t help that we fell in love. Believe it or not, I’m not trying to hurt you and I want everything to be amicable.”
This guy stole my wife and he’s stealing my kid too. Sure I’m the actual father but now they’re setting up a nursery together in his house? I’ve tried to not feel jealous or sad. I’ve tried to maintain the thought that he’s the trash man who picked up my garbage. Sometimes I feel that way, but the truth is that I loved her, and still love her. I don’t want to stay married to her on principle alone, but this is devastating to me.
Another installment of the implosion which is my marriage Apr 10, 2024
My wife? is basically 26 weeks pregnant now.
There actually hasn’t been much drama with her and her AP. I was away for a long weekend last week and it was nice to just get away from home for a while.
Only really annoying thing that’s happened is that I told her I’m being in the delivery room, not him. After everything she’s done, she owes me that. It’s not his baby. He has no right or reason to be there. I will not be the one waiting outside when my kid is being born.
She said yeah she agreed and she never planned to have him in there with her. I asked her if she’d told him that and she said no. I told her to tell him he’ll have no part in it. Well she told him and apparently he didn’t like that and he started trying to convince her why he should be there. Next thing I know she’s telling me that he really wants to be there and she’s the one giving birth so she should be able to say who she wants there and she wants him there. I suppose he’ll start making name suggestions soon and will try to overrule names we’ve had picked out for our future kids for years.
We’ve talked a little bit and she told me I can have our house and the dog in our divorce. I’m requesting that we sell the house and split the profit. I already that written in the paperwork. I’m not buying her out of our house - a house that I’ve made all the payments on anyway. I have a much better credit score than her and less debt. I compromised a lot because she liked this house. I’d rather be able to get my own place based just on what I want and with no reminders of her. And there was already no way she was getting the dog. I already had proof that I “owned” him though so she wouldn’t really stand a chance of having a court award the dog to her. It’s the one thing I told my lawyer I wanted above everything else (not including any custody issues surrounding my actual human child). Honestly, her AP can have her, but he will never ever have my dog. Not to mention my dog is 100 times more loyal than my wife and some might even say better looking too.
So with the idea I won’t be living here in this house for much longer after the baby is born (if everything moves quickly), I decided I will still prepare a nursery here anyway in case anyone wants to try to accuse me of not being invested/prepared for fatherhood. I’m trying to look at the positives. It doesn’t matter what colors she likes or what themes. I can do whatever I want. Honestly, we’ve been together for so long and have lived together for most of our adult lives. It sort of nice not living with somebody but sort of lonely too. I have friends and family, but it’s hard to feel in the mood to go out or hang out with people too often. They always ask me about everything that’s going on and it’s just like I’m tired of that being the topic of conversation.
I got a promotion at work, which financially would have been better had it happened after the divorce, but I’ll take what I can get.
I feel like I’m living in this limbo right now and a lot of what I do is always framed around “how will this affect me in the divorce?”
Admittedly I spy on them on social media sometimes. Guess I’m hoping to see he’s been in a motorcycle accident or something now that the weather is nicer. Hasn’t happened yet, but he’s starting a new company and once that’s up and running I can always get all my friends and family to leave 1 star reviews everywhere. Have to find ways to have a little fun.
Sorry that I don’t respond to a lot of messages or comments. Sometimes I just take big breaks from looking at Reddit since it can be depressing af.
Editing to add something I forgot. She told her family that we’ve split up and that she’s with this other guy now. Her sister reached out to me to say how sorry she was, her sister is a dumbass, that sort of thing. She told me that my wife was complaining about her AP. She the sex is over when he’s done and apparently he’s really selfish with sex. He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day. He doesn’t speak her “love language” and he hangs out with his friends too much. This made me so happy to hear. She’s secretly miserable and I find that absolutely delightful.

NEW UPDATE

I’m still alive May 19, 2024
I’m still alive. I’m mainly posting here because several people have reached out to me and were concerned that I’d taken my own life. No, I’m not on the brink of ending my life. I think I’m doing better than I have since all of this started.
Around the time of my last post, my story blew up and I was getting messages from people who saw it on TikTok and YouTube. I had to take a step back because it was a little overwhelming. I have over 100 unread messages here. I appreciate it but it was a little uncomfortable at the time, and I got to the point where I didn’t really want to talk about the situation with my wife and her AP anymore.
So as of today, our baby is due in less than 10 weeks. We’re in the home stretch now. I don’t feel prepared at all. All of this other stuff has just been so distracting.
I started working on a nursery. It’s not done yet, but I have the floor finished and the walls painted. My ex-wife was impressed with the color scheme and furniture I chose. She’s not legally my ex-wife yet but I’ve started calling her that. It sort of makes it easier.
I also packed up a bunch of her stuff. Originally I refused to spend my time packing up her things, but eventually just said screw it and started packing it. I’m at the point where it’ll just be easier to not see all of her stuff around here. Why did I leave it for so long?
She came over to get some of the boxes I packed up. She came alone. Things were fine between us. I loaded the stuff into her car. We didn’t argue. At one point she started to tear up and said she fucked up. I said yeah she did, but there’s no point talking about it now. She shit all over our marriage. She has her muscle bound asshole to go home to now anyway so who cares. She said “I know, but it’s not the same.” I told her nothing has been the same since she decided to fuck him the first time.
Supposedly he’s going to “let” me be in the delivery room when my baby is born. I didn’t even argue it when she said it like that, but inside I was boiling at the idea of him letting me be there for the birth of my child. She says she talked to him and he agreed it wouldn’t really be right to not allow me to be there. I’m going to take what I can get if it means being there for the birth of my child. I’m going to try to just ignore him for the time being. She was acting all sweet and laying on all of the “I really want you there. I really need you there” stuff and I know mentally I’m not in a place to be that cold to her when she starts acting that way. I’m trying to be indifferent more than anything else but it’s so hard when she’s actually around and starts looking at me a certain way and making me feel bad. She invited me over to see the nursery they have set up at his house. I’m not sure I can bring myself to go into another man’s house and look at the nursery set up for my kid.
I did ask her if she was truly safe there though. I don’t know why, it’s just been bothering me. As pissed as I still am, I don’t want to find out he’s mistreating her and I definitely don’t want my kid to be going into an unsafe household. I haven’t told her about anything her sister has told me. They probably won’t last but as of right now there’s a very good chance my newborn baby will be going home to his house. It kills me to think about. It’s almost soul destroying to think about if I dwell on it too long.
She says she’s fine. He genuinely loves her. He’s great with kids. He accepts that she’s having a baby and that this is part of the package. She insists it’s not weird because she wasn’t pregnant when anything started between them.
I asked her why she did it…why did she ever let anything start between them in the first place. She said “I don’t know.” Then went into “I don’t want to talk about this” mode and left pretty soon after. Typical behavior from her - just run away.
Overall I’m doing ok. I’m not sitting here depressed and drinking a bottle of scotch every night anymore. I mean on occasion, but for the most part no. I feel more used to my new normal now, and that’ll all change yet again pretty soon.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Summary for people who intended to purchase this machine:

1. The machine BIOS has stored a permanent settings on a non-volatile memory regarding hard drive password setting. If you attempt to remove the hard drive password by using tools such as Samsung Magician along with the PSID on the SSD, while having a setting to ask for the hard drive password for every boot up, your machine will become a brick even if the SSD is securely wiped externally. The machine will turn into an on-and-off cycle as it fails to locate the encrypted SSD.
2. If you have a setting to ask for "hard driver password" and / or "system password" during the boot up process, the machine will not initialize the onboard keyboard and mouse pad after BIOS update, which essentially brick the machine. Any attempt to use external USB device will also fail.
3. The failsafe BIOS mechanism will not function as long as the POST process has passed, even when the BIOS does not initialize the USB drive after update. You have no way to forcefully make the machine to revert to the previous BIOS under such situation.
4. The BIOS chip is hidden under the main board, which differs from previous design of having the BIOS chips close to the main battery while staying on top. Because of such reason, you won't be able to recover the BIOS by using a JTAG or EEPROM programmer, unless you are willing to void the warranty. I guess they have changed the way to do it just to force people purchasing their warranty plan, with poor written BIOS pushed through Windows update.
5. Those issues can happen after firmware update (actually a BIOS update) pushed through genuine Windows optional driver update.

Because this laptop does not have a button to reset the CMOS or BIOS, after the BIOS update, the BIOS may attempt to read the old value from the system.
However, if you have set a system password & hard drive password set at this point, along with a setting that asks for these passwords after system bootup, the new BIOS will not initialize the USB controller properly on board, after passing the POST. Any attempt to use the embedded keyboard or external USB will fail as well.
If you attempt to clear the CMOS settings by disconnecting the CMOS battery (located under the NVME M2 bay on the left), it will only reset the CMOS data related to frequency settings. As such procedure never clears the system password, the machine will be locked into a brick waiting to be fixed, while the USB controller is broken.
If you attempt to reduce the number of passwords required to be entered into the system, by using tools such as Samsung Magician along with PSID on the SSD label, your system will get into an on-and-off cycle, because it can't detect if the SSD drive is encrypted or not on the fly.
If you try to locate the BIOS chip for a BIOS recovery, the chip is locked somewhere that requires you to punch through a label.
If you hope the fail-safe mechanism will kick in to revert the BIOS to the old version, no luck for you. The machine will not invoke that as long as the POST process has passed, even if you keep holding the power button for a long time or doing a CMOS battery disconnection multiple times.
Yes, I WILL NEVER recommend Lenovo to anyone else, because I am not paying a large sum of money to buy a brick, and BIOS failsafe function never kicked in at all. What makes things worse: Lenovo kept the BIOS / CMOS hidden now, so I have no way to reset / format it on my own. I have to wait a long period of time for a fix now, and I can't even reset my second SSD using PSID now, as it will further make the machine into an irreparable state.

Today, I want to discuss a sneakier aspect of the healing journey, one that's often overlooked but can trap you in the illusion that you're making progress: the endless cycle of validating your struggles or feelings without actually addressing the root issue.
When you're emerging from a toxic relationship where you were gaslit, devalued, and psychologically tortured, it's incredibly relieving to finally receive validation that yes, you went through something serious. Having others acknowledge the manipulations and betrayals, nodding along with concern as you recount the most insidious examples of the narcissist's cruelty, can provide a sense of validation and support.
There's an undeniable sense of relief in being able to share those tumultuous experiences and hearing people express sympathy and understanding. Whether it's friends exclaiming, "Oh my god, that's so awful, you poor thing!" or sharing stories in support groups and receiving consoling refrains of "I know exactly what you mean, they did the same to me!" For possibly the first time, you feel seen and validated, knowing that your experiences and emotional wounds were very real.
Getting Wrapped Up in the Cycle of Pity
But here's the risky aspect of this situation - the more you get wrapped up in those cycles of pity, the more your identity can become entwined with dwelling on the problem rather than truly processing it. You may unconsciously start to define yourself primarily as a victim (a disempowered one) because that identity is being reinforced and comforted by the continuous supply of empathetic "poor you's."
The validation itself becomes the addictive fix you crave, a tragically comforting safe space to retreat into. You end up becoming hooked on constantly revisiting and recounting those distressing stories because at least then you feel understood. And during the abuse, you never really got that understanding.
So, you find yourself reliving it repeatedly, every gruesome detail, every shocking revelation about just how depraved the narcissist truly was. It's like picking at a never-ending emotional scab, just to elicit the same sympathetic reactions of "Oh, you poor thing" and cringing sympathy from other listeners, who are mostly other victims who’re doing the same thing.
Except here's the harsh reality - all that endless validation doesn't give you your power back, nor does it solve or prevent those patterns from repeating in your life. It might feel satisfying momentarily to be relieved of responsibility for these torturous scripts you had no control over. But that's the trap - you're being comforted while still fundamentally stuck in the problem.
Walk the Road Less Travelled
Don't get me wrong, having your experiences acknowledged as valid instead of being gaslit is a necessary first step out of toxic abuse amnesia. You need that emotional reset to reorient yourself, to affirm that you didn't imagine things, and that what happened to you was a profound injustice.
While validation has its place, we often find ourselves stuck in it for a long time, sometimes even years, without truly addressing the elephant in the room: why are you stuck, and why aren't you addressing the root causes of the problems? It requires investigating the aspects within yourself that left you vulnerable, unpacking the patterns of stuck emotions that kept you longing for the highs and lows of an unhealthy relationship, and addressing the limiting beliefs and attachment wounds that made you susceptible to manipulation in the first place.
You're not glorifying the problem or indulging in seeking validation. Instead, you're channeling your energy into overcoming the problem. After all, why would you want to be defined by a problem or by the past? Problems are meant to be solved, not clung onto. They're meant to be learning experiences that help us avoid similar situations in the future, as we come to understand both the conscious and unconscious forces that draw us into relationships with people who hurt us or lead us to these problems.
That's what it takes to be honest with yourself and to do whatever it takes to break free from the problem or from the foundational blocks that have allowed this problem to manifest in various areas of your life.
In short, focus on solving the problem and not just validating it; that's how you will be free and let the past be the past. If you realize that you're encountering the same problem every now and then despite working on yourself, then it simply means there are things beyond your scope of awareness that may need external help to assist you with excavating or digging out the root cause of the problem. It's a courageous journey, but the rewards are endless.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

Clearing out a bunch of mostly unplayed or very lightly played games from my collection.
 
Any purchase single or combined of $60 or more has free shipping anywhere in CONUS, otherwise buyer pays shipping from 07042. Local pickup also available.
 
Available games
All items marked as condition 5 are new in shrink wrap.
AEG bundle 1 (includes Number Drop, Deep Dive, and Waffle Time) [5] - $40
AEG bundle 2 (includes Number Drop, Deep Dive, Waffle Time, and Shake that City, all in excellent condition and played a few times) [4] - $50
Ahoy Kitten [5] - $15
Alicematic Heroes [5] - $25
Ark Nova [4] (excellent condition, played once, includes assembled folded space insert and is fully sleeved) - $50
Blade Rondo Legendary Box [4] (base game played once and fully sleeved, other 4 games never played) - $150
Cascadero [4] (includes wooden farmer tiles, only played once) - $50
Catacombs (Third Edition) [4] (played once, fully stickered and sleeved, includes the 3 play mats) - $70
Catacombs (Third Edition): The Ice Box [5] - $40
Catacombs: Red Box [5] - $40
Curious Cargo [4] (played once, excellent condition) - $15
Dice Conquest [4] (played once, fully sleeved and insert cut to make room for sleeved cards) - $15
Empire's End [4] (deluxe edition with wooden resource tokens, played once, fully sleeved and insert cut on bottom to make room for sleeved disaster cards) - $65
Equinox Golem Edition [5] - $15
Five Seals of Magic [5] - $15
Foundations of Rome [4] (sundrop, includes expansion, fully sleeved, includes metal first player marker and upgraded scoring markers, only played once) - $300
Hamlet [4.5] (KS deluxe edition, punched, assembled, unplayed, like new) - $50
Hanamikoji [5] - $20
Heroes of Land, Air and Sea [4] (includes base game, Order and Chaos, and Pestilence, and Mercenaries expansion pack 3. all heroes are painted, all cards are sleeved, and organized with a 3D printed insert and condensed into 2 boxes) - $300
HEXplore It: Hero Chest [4] (excellent condition) - $30
Intrepid + Mission Critical [5] (new condition, shrink just opened to verify expansion was in the base box) - $30
Keep the Heroes Out bundle [4.5] (includes base game, great dreamer, guild master's revenge, deluxe tokens, all fully sleeved and stored in UV print wooden insert from eRaptoPolandGames, all never played) - $180
Kingdomino [3] (good condition, a bit of shelf wear) - $10
Mercurial [5] (deluxe KS edition, also includes unopened sleeve pack) - $65
MicroMacro: Crime City – Full House [5] - $20
Moon: Valkyrie Expansion* [5] (just the foil cards) - free with any other purchase
Night Parade of a Hundred Yokai UV insert from eRaptor [5] - $25
Oathsworn accessories [5]

• Armory - $35
  
• Art Book - $25
  
• Secret Box (the newer one) - $25
  

Pocket Watch: Set a Watch in 18 Cards [5] - free with any other purchase
Plum Island Horror [4] (excellent condition, all cards sleeved and activation tokens in coin capsules) - $65
Psychic Pizza Deliverers Go to the Ghost Town [4] (excellent condition, played twice) - $30
Rebel Princess [4] (played once, fully sleeved) - $20
Rising Sun Art Book [5] - $20
Spirit Island: Jagged Earth [5] - $35
Switchbacks [4] (played once, includes upgraded larger meeples replacing original meeples) - $20
Sword & Sorcery: Ancient Chronicles [4.5] (all-in pledge, fully organized and sorted but never played, all game content consolidated into 3 core boxes using this insert) -$450
Tainted Grail: Kings of Ruin – Black Goat of the Moors [5] - $10
Touria [5] - $15
The Battle of Five Armies [5] - $50
The Light in the Mist [4] (played through once, everything reset and in excellent condition) - $25
Valor & Villainy: Minions of Mordak [5] - $25
Welcome to the Dungeon bundle (also includes Welcome Back to the Dungeon, combined in base box, both fully sleeved) [4] - $30
 
Wishlist

• Archipelago
• Biohack
• The Downfall of Pompeii
• The Estates
• Everdell: Collector's Edition
• Heroes of Tenefyr
• Imperial 2030
• Lord of the Rings: The Confrontation
• Moonrakers: First Encounters expansion
• Of What's Left
• The Oracle of Delphi
• Ostia
• Quest for the Lost Pixel
• Ricochet Robots
• Roads & Boats
• Rumble Nation
• Schadenfreude
• Sniper Elite deluxe upgrade kit