Sayings on work

Assalamualaikum
I was playing a game wiith a friend when my dad walked in and started to ask me "I like yhe uni work your doing" pointing at the game being all buddy buddy. He then proceeds to lecture me abt how I always play games even tho I don't, especially now since uni has kept me busy (I've only been playing like the past week) and he just rambled on and on abt how I should learn arabic to "be smarter" cause he thinks me learning arabic would somehow make me more islamically smarter even tho it won't to some degree. He also rambled abt how he listens to lectures and stuff and I simply couldn't talk to him cause everytime I tried, he'd just cut me off and deflect or pretend like he heard nothing and it's really annoying so I just sat there listening. Some things he says is correct and there are some things he says which are simply flawed. He even swore at me as an "example" of how normal swearing is and I asked him "why should I care if other ppl swear, if I don't swear myself?" (I dont swear at all and find it disgusting whenever i swear in my head, but idc if others swear) And he ignored me and I started to lose braincells. He wants me to be more islamically smart which I agree with but he doesn't want to teach or guide me shit. It's like telling a kid to learn how to play a game without teaching him first cause he just says to "just learn of your phone, it's all on the internet" and just leaving it at that. I would just do this, but he tends to ask stuff that I don't know abt then somehow expects me to know something I'm hearing for the first time. He asked me what "fege" means in islam and since I couldn't fond the answer online, I asked him and he said it was Islamic law, which is mainly called "fiqh" which I knew abt but didn't know the specific name/term that he used, and he ends up flaming me for not knowing and stuff. There was another definition, but I forgot. I tried to reason with him but he just doesn't listen, I asked him if I was smarter, would he learn from me abt something he doesn't know abt and he was like "whatever you know, I already know" 😑. Anyways, I also called him out on the swearing part and I was like, "if the prophet was here, he wouldn't swear like that even if it's for an 'example' cause that's just dumb". He standardised 16-18 years old leaving their parents to live by himself based on "white people" and told me that he was expecting me to do the same if I didn't wanna listen to what he said(not to stay awake late and to never play games again), he'd never come to a compromise cause he's way tooooooo stubborn and rambled on abt how he could live by himself and some other bs. I couldn't hold it in so I wrote all this cause it's nice to share and get it off my chest cause as im typing this, I'm litterally crying lol. Even as a child, I'd rather of gotten physically hit the emotionally dmg by my dad and it really does shit to my brain. Talking to him is like talking a brick wall, he'd never listen and idk what to do abt it. Imo I just gotta live it out and hope I can some day move out ig. There's more stuff but I don't wanna deep it too much 😔. Regardless of what he says to me, I was already gonna try be more islamically smart, not to prove myself to him, but for my own sake of learning for this world and the hereafter.
Crazy long rant, my mental state is probably at my lowest rn, i dont really expect this to get much attention or responsed, but if your bothered enough to read it, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated... jazakallah

Now I have to explain this well my mom is an older sister of seven siblings with two of them being older than her . Well one of them has died as he did suicide so when my mom was like 17 she was very rich and beautiful and her family being conservative it was a kind of strict household related to fashion but other than that she was the only one studying at a prestigious school at the time so you get the idea but then my father who was extremely poor at the time and lived in Kashmir with a house of only one room for 12 people and mind you my father was also the oldest sibling so he started earning at a very young age came to the city Punjab I won't specify where to work he being a distant relative was given work at my grandpa's factory (mother's side) so my father was a really hard working man and he tried to learn everything quickly so that he could provide for his family in a better way . Then he saw my mother and always wanted to marry her (oh my god there are so many details i am missing but if you want I would explain it further just let me know) , so fast forward my father asked for my mother's hand from my grandma and promised her that he would keep her happy . My grandma was very ill at the time and my mother's sister in law was very toxic and my grandpa always favoured her instead of her own daughter as he didn't want to be a typical father in law and wanted to make her feel like a daughter so my grandma in order to protect my mother gave her hand to my father even when he had a hand disabled and with no money or background matching their own my father promised her that he would not make my mother live in the mountains and would take her out of country when he has a chance to (again many details are missing as to what abuse my father had to handle individually from when he was born) so then my mother got married to my father and then as my father didn't have any money my mother had to live for a short period of time in the poverty, dirt of Kashmir I remind you my mother is a city girl and is brought up like a flower so she has to endure and live at a place where 12 people live, eat and sleep in one room and if they have to pee they have to go in the farmlands with a jug in hand and don't even talk about the hygiene and food and she is put through it for one year after that my father went out of the country and my grandma died and this is where it all went down my mother was only told to endure all of this for just a little period of time so when my grandma died my father started to make my mother stay there with his sisters and brothers and mind you all of them being extremely abusive and manipulative. My grandma from father's side used to make my mother look like a bad guy Infront of my father and my mother being naive did not realize anything but when it is too late to mend . So back to the story my mother came back to my grandparents house in the city that is when she had my older sister my father used to send money to my mother for personal stuff but she would live at my grandparents house where all four of her sister in-laws lived and all of them were like snakes so they did many things to make my mother a bad guy and mentally abused her (if you want details I will give it to you this too long so I have to cut out so many major incidents) so at this point my mother has no hope left as her brothers and father's won't listen to her and her in laws were also the same so she was mentally abused so she tried to lay low and would beat my sister up and scold her even if she took a random piece of biscuit because again he sister in laws also had children and all of them would make a big scene out of it she couldn't even provide the things that she bought from my father'soney as it would cause a scene while they did absolutely everything to make my older sister suffer through anxiety the signs of this depression can be seen in my older sister . She was not allowed to act like a child when she was a literal 3 or 4 years child so after spending almost 4 years in this hell hole my mother insisted my father to at least send her more money so that she can rent a house so my father was still not doing well with money so he asked for some money from my grandpa as a loan and took my mother out of country with him but no no no life did not get better turns out my father barely would take enough money from his income for his own survival and used to send the rest back home as he had 12 tummies to fill ( between my second sister had also been born by this time and my father did not see her face since she was born till she was like 2 and my oldest sis being 4 when he came back to take my mother out of country) after this my mother again spent 6 years In extreme poverty and my mother's visa was also not legal at this point plus my older siblings studies were being affected for which my mother cared deeply about between my father's financial Condition had become somewhat stable in these six years and also there was extreme pressure for having a son from my mother's in laws since my parents had two girls already my mother had several miscarriages after my second sibling birth and soon after the birth of my second sibling my father became diabetic and after a year my mother became diabetic the reason of my mother's miscarriages plus the trauma after those 6 years I was born and it was again a miracle but unfortunately I was a girl but it did not affect my father at the time or maybe he pretended to (I was a very chubby baby as the nurses also called me big baby ) so back to story my mother returned back to the country for the reasons I mentioned above .she did not want to return back to the hell hole so she sold her gold jewelry to buy a plot near my grandparents house as it was on sale and then my father gradually build a magnificent house and by now my father's work escalated he became rich he brought up his 10 siblings settled them even build a big house for them to live in and married them off as well but they are lychees just sucking my father for money as i knew how they badmouthwd my Mom and us and I knew all of them even there children did not respect us or my father and they all just care for his money but my mother was ok with all of it as lomg as we lived in peace but life does not go as planned my mother and father would always get into fights and he even slapped her , there was no peace even on family function as the so called family always was the reason of the conflict . My mother's sister in law also ganged up on my mother with my mother's in laws and tried everything to destroy the relationship between my mother and father . but other than these conflicts my mother was still hanging in there and was willing to endure this for the sake of her children . Then when I was like 11 years old my mother had a heartattack and another tragedy and pain was added to the list of her painful life. After this my sister oldest sister was blasted with more responsibilities she was the one cooking washing our clothes sending usl to school and all while managing her university studies coming back home at 6 pm and doing everything.All of this but still the ship of life was cruising but then when I was 13 we got to know on one fateful night that my father had married another woman one week before we got to know so my mother packed he things up and went to her in laws to tell them about this betrayal of my father after spending 25 years of their life together and being with him through thick and thin this is what he did to her she went there with the hopes of making them question him my naive mother after all of those experiences of living hell still had hope in them . The night we got to know about it my father ran away in the hopes of coming back when the fire would cool down the next day my I'll mother spent an entire day while traveling with her sister(by the way my mother has two sisters who were too young at the time my mother married and there life has been even worse than this if you want to know let me know about it by the way my aunt's and my mother's one brother who is dead are the only good people I know In this family) so my mother went and the sight Infront was that they were celebrating my father's marriage the entire family my cousins my uncle's my aunt's everyone from my father's side they were all celebrating our demise by enjoying music and deserts and my father was also there with his wife and when they saw my mother they hid that woman and when my mother tried to pursue my father and that woman they all ganged up on her and my father's youngest sibling (brother) he hit my mother and then they just played it cool my mother returned the same night after being violated and needed no explanation that my father and her in laws all did it together it was just hidden from us . We were the fools everything hurts so bad my mother cannot do anything as we have not completed our studies and we are only girls in a conservative country but she is just living by the hope that one day we daughters would succed and they all that made my mother suffer will gar karma now I am 17 and my life is far from normal I wake up everyday and pretend everything is fine my older siblings are devastated my middle sibling wants to commit suicide but i have stopped her and convinced her not To do so while I also feel like crumbling I also wanted to do it when I was 15 and is still have an urge to do so but Allah has helped me so much . I have seen the entire world turn on me in the blink of an eye people change their faces so fast it's scary i am scared of people the suffering we endured in these 4 years is indescribable my father no longer treats me like i am a precious doll of his . He no longer loves me I see my siblings cry and I feel like their is no hope left I go out and men look at me with lust I don't go out I feel suffocated. Life has made a clown out of me. Gosh tears are streaming down my cheeks this stupid app really made me cry like a toddler I feel like a burden my mother is showing clear signs of trauma and she feels like a victim when we even make a slight mistake she no longer trusts anyone else except for us siblings her condition is getting worse she sometimes tells my siblings that they are the problem for her distress and says some nasty things which led to my sibling having suicidal thoughts but my mom is I'll her bones do not work properly she cannot walk properly she has two studs in her heart she is diabetic she has more medicine each day than food my father does not divorce my mother even when she demands it life is hell but we do have our little happy moments from time to time but they get destroyed by more and more tragic incidents Please someone tell me what do I do I feel so lost I am tired of this and life I think I have lived enough there is too much pain but Allah keeps on reminding me that there are many people out there having it much worse than us so I guess I have to hang in there until I can finally rest (there are many major incidents which I skipped in order to make it as short as possible) thank you for reading this bullshit of a lifen

CW: Mention of self-h, a-bus
A close colleague is on administrative leave while under investigation over claims made directly after reprimanding a student for disruption and violating the school honor code. Some claims have merit (self-h*rm comments, mention of firearms ownership as a hunter), and others baseless (inappropriate comments about female students' appearances, comments threatening harm upon students). He's had a visibly rough second semester due to outside factors, involving personal deaths and dealing with abuses at home, and has since let his classroom management deteriorate.
Unfortunately, I've seen how a majority of his students use his weakened state as an opportunity to walk all over him; they violating district policies, disrespect him, and now it's come to a head. Last week, he decided to put his foot down for the first time in the semester, and told two girls (habitual problem-starters and EXTREMELY pampered), informing them that he would change their seats if they continued to talk over him. The worst of the two was also caught that day plagiarizing one of his assignments and reprimanded, though not reported as he felt it appropriate to let her off with a warning.
The next day, Friday, he was called to the office before his 3rd block classes. He said his AP was approached by two girls who reported feeling uncomfortable due to things he would say in class, such as overshare his mental state through making jabs at self-h*rming himself (which I've heard him do in the workroom, as well, the sort of "this makes me wanna just _____" comments not unusual to hear as a response to high stress and depression), to which he said his AP (and mine, she's incredibly supportive of teachers, though hopefully not just vocally) was sympathetic. She recommended he set up an appointment with the employee assistance program and possibly seek counseling, to which he agreed. The next items regarded a story he often shares about meeting his neighbor through hunting weapons (we live in a sub-rural area where hunting is a prolific topic), supposedly threatening to "bash a kid's head into a brick wall" in response to the plagiarism earlier mentioned, when he admitted he said he said that about his own head, something he's said a lot before. Lastly, he was accused of making inappropriate comments regarding female students' appearances, which no one can substantiate, and it seems this was featured because "male teacher = g-word" seems like a free space to claim.
He's rightfully freaked out, as am I, because we both teach very similarly and with the same style, with a sort of "big brother" vibe that's never been a problem, but rather very appreciated by both parents and students alike. He did mention how the admin made a big point about "saying things which could get misconstrued", but he said she was very stern but understanding in her demeanor, even sharing her experience in mourning and still showing up for school as a way to cope. He also said she talked extensively about having "healthy teachers in the classroom", which I believe is code for "we're going to make sure you're just in mourning and not actually going to do anything permanent". We're both on our fourth year of teaching, and our state uses the "continuing contract" system, so we're both unsure how tenure works or if there's protections at all in this state.
Does he have cause to worry for his livelihood, or is this a common, albeit brutal, occurrence for teachers today? I don't think he's registered with the state representation (we're in Virginia), as most of us newer teachers still don't have much wiggle room to afford many biweekly deductions, but I'm nervously optimistic. I'm asking this for my benefit as well, as we teach very similarly to one another, and the last thing I want is for a Children of the Corn situation to arise after.... well, trying to maintain classroom order in any way. Needless to say, this alone is taking the wind out of my sails in regards to continuing in this field, which I loved before this year, and I know for a fact he's having second thoughts, more so, probably.
Tl;dr: Colleague on continuing contract is on administrative leave pending an investigation due to comments made after he reprimanded two students for disruption and honor code violation. Seems retaliatory, though he and I are worried for his future in teaching.

The apostle Paul wrote these words – saying: “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears. And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables” (2 Timothy 4:3,4).
The apostle Paul indicated that there would be a time when people who claim to know Christ would branch off by believing the opposite of sound doctrine – turning to fables or that which is not true. And certainly, the belief that Enoch was taken to heaven is a doctrine that is surely Not a sound doctrine, but a fable; and so, let us use the Bible to prove the truth
Thy word is truth- John 17:17
What Does Translated Mean?
Concerning Enoch, Hebrews 11:5 says, “by faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death: and was not found, because God had translated him …” Many have taken this to mean God took Enoch to heaven. But is this true?
First of all, the Bible does NOT say Enoch was taken to heaven – to where God’s throne or place of abode is; it simply says he was translated. The word, translated comes from a Greek word which means to transport, remove, transfer, change. Now this carries the meaning that Enoch was moved from one place or another; again, it does not say that he was removed or taken to heaven.
The part which most people have seemingly not understood is the part where it says, “Enoch was translated that he should not see death …”. People believe Enoch never died, but contrary to this belief., Hebrews 11:13 tells us, “These all died in the faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off …” If you also go to Genesis 5:23, it says, “And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years.” Notice the scriptures shows Enoch lived out his life on earth and died at the age of 365 years.
Picture of ancient tomb
(Men such as Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David - just to name a few - have all died and are in their grave; they are not in heaven, and neither is Enoch - they are awaiting the resurrection)
Why Did God Take Enoch and to Where?
The Scripture does not reveal why God took Enoch to another location or place, but we do know Enoch walked with God; And God is always concerned for those who put His work first in their lives – by striving to obey him; Psalm 37: 40 says, “… the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them because they trust in him.” Again, the scripture does not inform us of the condition that caused God to remove, translate, or transport Enoch to a different location, but there is indication God did this to save his life – because it says so that he would NOT SEE DEATH (Hebrews 11:5) at the place or location where he faithfully walked with God; God could have removed Enoch so he would be spared from possibly others - who may have wanted to take his life; Enoch must have lived at a time where men may have hated God’s truth and could have greatly despised Enoch - to the point of wanting to take his life; This could be why God inspired Enoch to prophesy that God would come with his saints to execute judgement upon ungodly men and to convince them of their “ungodly deeds” (Jude 14,15); Enoch may have had his own experience in dealing with ungodly men who were against him; and so God had to remove him to another place where he could live out his days.
No man has Ascended up to Heaven
“And no man hath ascended up to heaven, but he that came down from heaven, even the Son of man which is in heaven” (John 3:13).
No doubt, God the Father inspired Jesus Christ to say no one has gone to heaven, because God knew that there would be those who would be claiming people have gone to heaven, and so God gave us the truth to counter this false belief about going to heaven or being translated to heaven. If Enoch had been taken to heaven, then Christ would never have said that no man except himself has gone to heaven; these words of Christ is proof positive that Enoch never went to heaven.
It seems that those who believe Enoch went to heaven does not either understand the Scriptures or have knowingly chosen to ignore the words of Jesus Christ - who said no one except himself has ever ascended up to heaven. How about you? Do you believe what Christ says of will you just go on believing in fables- believing the lie that Enoch was taken to heaven? Would you not rather take the words of Christ over the traditional beliefs of men?

I’m just gonna say it… I loved her look! Say what you will about the character, but that big oversized floppy bonnet, the dark tones on dark tones, black canvas skirt, you can even see her work boots when she’s sitting in her buckboard.
… And don’t get me started on the pilgrim belt buckle. Love it!
For anybody that grew up in the 90s, I could easily see the belt and bonnet and boots being worn by some sort of four non-blond style rock group.
Fun fact: I was able to get this still image on Freevee. You can stream on demand, with 66% less commercials. Skip forward and backward. You don’t have to wait for in-line programming as you would with Pluto. It’s funny because I converted to Pluto about two or three weeks ago, then I discovered Freevee. It works outside of the US if I use NordVPN. Totally free, and you probably already have the username and password. They simply use your Amazon credentials. An Amazon company. Highly recommend.

Hello! I am in a long term relationship with Apple but have been seeing Birch for a few weeks. We are a V and I am the hinge. I went away with Apple to the beach for a few days and one of the days Birch came over and we had drinks and I slept with Birch in their bed (preplanned).
A few weeks after this Apple said to me that he wouldn't be comfortable drinking with Birch again because they thought that Birch had intentionally made them a very strong drink to 'knock Apple out' and therefore sleep with me sooner. Apple has a relatively good alcohol tolerance and he says he had this drink then felt really drunk really quickly and passed out. I didn't think about it at the time but I did try a bit of Apples drink that Birch made and it was pretty strong.
So I was very concerned about this and I told Birch that the drink they made Apple was too strong for them and Apple wasn't sure if they'd be comfortable drinking again so if they still wanted to hang out with Apple (and I specifically said zero pressure to see him again at all etc) could they make a weaker drink next time?
Birch apologised straight away and said they still wanted to hang out with Apple but wouldn't mix drinks.
So I told Apple about this and they were really upset with me and said they felt really betrayed and even thought they didn't say that the conversation was confidential that it was implied. We talked about it for a fair while and sort of worked it out but Apple is still really mad at me and says they don't know if they can be open with me again if I'm going to go off and tell other people things they meant to be private. They said it made them feel really anxious and it will affect their relationship with Birch and they'll feel awkward around them now.
I guess I can be a bit direct at times, but I also think that it's concerning and a big accusation and I thought that without putting a suspicious theory into it but just delivering the facts it would give Birch a chance to correct course while also ensuring Apples safety. I am a pretty transparent person with my own feelings and life so I generally always opt to try and fix things early and well if there's been a breach.
I said to Apple after that maybe a boundary for me going forward is that they don't tell me things about my other partners if they expect those things to stay a secret between Apple and I. If they want to share information with me I'd like the autonomy to act on it, especially if it's a safety issue.
But I throw myself on the mercy of the community - what does everyone think?

My ex of 6 years broke up with me last week Friday very randomly and completely blindsided me. They moved out that night and took most of their clothes but still have a lot of things here and there at my place. When they dumped me, they said “can we talk?” But then just told me, “I wanna breakup” if didn’t feel like a conversation, more like he has news to share. All I said was “I didn’t expect this I’m so shocked and idk what to say… you aren’t asking me to talk or work through some of your concerns you are just telling me how you feel so all I can do is accept and appreciate your honesty.”
They left after that and I stepped out not wanting to breakdown and sob while they were there. That first night I called at night because hours later I wanted to ask all the questions, problem solve, I was confused and felt angry and hurt that they held this for a couple of weeks instead of trying to communicate with me. They didn’t answer cause it was late but the next day when they reached out just wondering if I had called, I said yes but nvm because I just wanted to respect his choice even if it was hard for me.
The week goes by and they reach out Wednesday to “see how I’m doing “ through text. They called and I didn’t answer. I didn’t respond cause I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I was just gonna explode all my feelings in a crazy text if I tried to articulate my thoughts and feelings or cry and beg them not to walk out on us on the phone.
Friday night they text again, saying they just wanna check-in and see how I’m doing, they hope I’m taking care of myself and they say they are off the next two days and to let them know if they can call me to see how I’m doing.
The problem is I never wanted to breakup, if I had a choice, I would stare every issue in the face and try to do the work on my end that was necessary to heal/communicate.
I don’t get it why is my ex reaching out like this acting concerned after the fact they broke up with me? They didn’t bother asking or being concerned the last 2 weeks of the relationship so now that I’m not his to worry about why is he trying to do the overtime? My ex was never the best at clear communication, they are avoidant and I am closer to anxious (just a bit more secure) I just feel like what can I say anymore? It’s already over and and although the message behind the text is one of “care and concern” it feels incredibly selfish and insensitive, part of me feels like they are just trying to satisfy their needs still (framed as thinking about me) when it’s probably more about assuaging their guilt. TL:dr : Why is my ex reaching out to “check-in” a week after he broke up with me?

My son’s Apple ID used to be connected to an iPad. A year or so ago we got him an iPhone and set up Family Sharing. On his phone, it displays his correct information. On my phone it still says the name is iPad and shows info associated with the iPad. I’ve tried removing him from family sharing and setting it all back up but that didn’t work.
Any ideas?

So I went over to my aunts apartment yesterday because she asked me too. When I walked in my aunt apologized for yelling at me and explained it was because she didn’t know about the pimple. My jaw dropped yeah.
Turns out Lisa hid the pimple from her mother because she didn’t like going to the doctors.
The whole argument we had was just a big misunderstanding because she thought I popped it without allowing her to look it over and I thought she didn’t see the pimple as an issue because she usually protective of Lisa. We’re on good terms now and I even got my aunt to remove the tracking app off Lisa’s phone.
The app works by sending a message to my aunts phone if Lisa was to walk beyond a certain distance away from the neighborhood. And if my aunt didn’t respond to the message the cops would be called. That’s what was preventing me from taking Lisa to urgent care.
Oh and turns out my aunt left her phone in the car after getting lunch, that’s why she didn’t respond. This whole situation feels like a bad drama honestly but hey at least I can take Lisa to the park now.
My aunt thinks I did the best I could considering the situation I was placed in.
For those who were worried about infection or Steph my aunt took Lisa to get a blood test on Monday and the doctor said that Lisa’s white blood count is only slightly higher and didn’t prescribe antibiotics cause he felt the increase didn’t warrant it. Before anyone says anything this was a blood specialist at the clinic my aunt works for. So Lisa isn’t at risk but he wants to see her Monday just to make sure it’s nothing.
I also watched that Dr.pimple popper some of you mentioned and first eww and second I didn’t realize that pus came in two forms. I thought the solid pus had its own name. So let me clarify that the pus that came from Lisa’s back was watery like milk not like spray foam. Not sure if that changes anything.
Hope everyone has a good day.

My mom decided to go into social work & I really try not to be mean. But I’m tired of hearing about it. My mom isn’t even really that stable herself. She had all 3 of us kids in a homeless shelter for like a year & now on public housing. A lot of the discussions she brings are just irrelevant in my opinion and sometimes I just want to say I don’t care. Like honestly. Focusing on societal norms & “do you think prejudice is learned or taught” I don’t care. I’m trying to create a career so I can move out and get my own place in this economy.
I really try not to yuck anyone’s yum, but she talks about it so much it’s annoying. Like what does focusing on if prejudice is learned or taught etc. do for us. We’re literally black people. Why tf would I want to focus on that. Leave me alone. I don’t come and talk about technology or any of my work with her so I don’t get why she does with me.
She’s also the type to want expensive things. I recently passed a certification & she searched the average salary for the certification and she’s been talking about it. Which is kinda cringey to me. I try not to let this skew my view of social workers bc I’ve had social workers help me & they were different. Maybe it’s bc my mom is in school that she’s bringing all these annoying victim based topics.
I like to guard my mind & focus on myself, my goals & things that I can control. I respect that everyone is different & into different things. But after a while it gets annoying listening to shit you don’t care about. Like I feel like my mom thinks bc she’s into something everyone else is & it’s annoying.

I know blundering is impossible and everyone under 400 elo laughs when they hear “start blundering” but I don't think most people understand, I've played about 2 chess games on lichess and chesscom and I'd say I average 0 blunders a game. No matter how hard I try or how focused I am, they never come. I've never watched any free videos on the internet, but I think they all say the same things “Don't develop your pieces” “Move to unprotected squares” “Castle late” “Never analyze your games” “Give up the center” “Be impatient” “Don"t think about what you're opponent will do” but none of this has actually helped me. I can't recognize most openings I've faced and the only one I can play against is the Kings Indian defense, I just think the London works against it. I have fallen for the scholars mate recently too. (btw 30 minutes before writing this my elo, which is now 3800 has risen by about 50)
Fyi I play 5-10 hour games

Wall of BAWWWW incoming. I feel like I should preface this by saying that, as much as I hate myself, I’m probably not going to kill myself, so you don’t need to worry about that. I have pets that depend on me and a family that would be devastated if I died (which I don’t even have the decency to be grateful for) so I’m living, just out of obligation far more than a desire to actually be here. It makes me feel trapped and hopeless, but what can you do?
I’m a failure, and probably one of the most pathetic sorts of failure you can imagine, a failed artist. I loved drawing and storytelling and worldbuilding growing up and it really gave me a sense of challenge and fulfillment, and when I got to college age I decided I wanted to become a videogame artist to try and make a career out of that. Well, that hasn’t panned out like I hoped it would, I’m vastly outclassed by most other people competing in the field, and the rapid onset of AI has made things even worse. Why hire junior artists when you can just grind out a hundred AI generated pieces of concept art for free? Why should I try to get better when there’s hundreds of people who already have connections and will always surpass me anyway? I can’t even enjoy art as a hobby anymore because I’ve become so critical of anything I make, and now I’m scared to even try going back to just drawing for fun because there will always be that little voice in my head going “You weren’t good enough, disciplined enough, or persistent enough to make this work as a job. Maybe you could have done it if you weren’t such a lazy, insecure piece of shit, but now you’ve fucked up everything forever and fallen behind and missed your window. Fuck you.” Even outside my art woes, the world is just shit. Society is broken, modern media is nothing but slop designed to generate attention through hate-views and internet arguments, the governments of the world are actively screwing over the populace, and politics are becoming so violently polarized that nothing constructive is actually being done because people would rather just make things worse for the other team. I genuinely do not want to see what happens next in this shitshow, and I don’t really expect anything good to happen ever again.
I would say I want to stop trying to make a career out of game art, but the shitty thing is I’ve barely even tried. I should have been okay with sending out hundreds of applications to be rejected hundreds of times and working on improving myself and learning new skills every minute I can, because that’s what this field requires to even get a foothold. I thought I would be okay and that I could handle the challenge, but clearly that isn’t the case and I’m such a fucking lazy ass that I’ve given up before even really trying, because even the little bit I have tried was too much for me to handle. I’m 27 now, still living at home, barely driving, only working part-time. I’m a worthless piece of shit leeching off my parents because I’m too scared of leaving the nest and actually having to work hard.
I had a game project that I knew was a big scope and would require learning a lot of new things, but it seemed like something that would be fun and challenging. And for a while I felt really, really good working on it. I had a life coach who was helping me stay on track. I was slowly learning how to motivate myself with things other than shame and self-hatred. I had an idea of how to start small and make it a reality. Then I learned someone else was doing a similar project and they were leagues more talented than I was, and in that one day all the progress I made was just gone. It felt like the wobbly little tower I was building up underneath me had the base yanked out and I fell hard and never truly got back up.
I can’t go through that again, I can’t handle that kind of disappointment in myself and failure again. It hurt too much. So I think what I really want is to stop trying to try. You can’t fail if you stop trying, and if you make yourself stop caring about anything, it won’t hurt so much that you’re a failure in the first place. Ultimately that’s what I want, to stop caring about anything. I want to open up my skull and rip out every emotion, every aspiration, every goal, every bit of creativity, every little idea that will never be fulfilled, and get rid of it all forever. On my worst days I even want to get rid of my hobbies, my interests, and everything that might make me feel any scrap of positive emotion or interest just so I can be completely and utterly flat. They’re already not doing me much good. I can distract myself with games or other stuff, but distraction is all it is. Trying anything new might make me feel emotions, or even worse, be disappointing, so that’s off the table too. I want to find a medication that will blunt me so hard I never feel anything ever again. Just be an NPC with no inner monologue or opinions or aspirations and just go through the motions of life for the next sixty or so years until I finally die. Get a boring pointless job and just exist. That way I’m not really dead and my family doesn’t have to be sad, but I don’t have to really be living either. I don’t want to be happy because I don’t think I deserve it. I just want to not be sad.
I know there’s shit like mindfulness, detachment, self-compassion, and emotional acceptance. And those are all good and healthy things, but I don’t want that. I don’t want to be nice to myself because I don’t deserve it. I want to hurt myself (mentally). I want to break myself emotionally so thoroughly that I never feel or care about a single thing ever again. I want to rip my amygdala out. I want to kill my personality and just leave the body behind on autopilot. I’m tired of having no control over my emotions or thought patterns. Every other day I get into a depressive spiral like this, thinking about how much I hate myself and how badly I wish I could stop feeling things. If I could press a button and get rid of all of my negative emotions at the cost of my positive ones, you best believe I would do it.

So Ive been completely into a coworker as we get along and she’s so friendly! The issue is I dont know if its mutual. Pretty sure the woman is straight. Which I’m totally cool with! Will someone confirm this for me? We are virtual. On one of our meetings I wore a dress and was self conscious. When she joined the zoom call, she mentioned that I look cute. there was a slight hesitation in her voice saying it (did i not look cute??). I told her I felt a bit overdressed and we continued talk about work ..blah blah blah..when I went to stop sharing my screen, I laughed at my reflection and she noticed that! she asked, “You look so good, huh?" to which I completely denied.. . ”no! i feel so ridiculous in this getup!” I burst into uncontrollable laughter..i could hear her chuckle too. Towards the end of the call, she says that it was a really great session and messages me a few hours later about the material she finished. I replied: Thank you!!! im still mad at you for leaving my team but ill heal lol. anyway, nice seeing you today! ~i know - desperate- have you made it to this far? ill spark notes our other “cute” moments. She said she was outspoken. When I said I’m the opposite, she replied "oh you're softspoken? that just means we need to hang out more" she also mentioned that she loves listening to peoples problems, and she was a therapist in another life. when i said that I couldnt imagine doing that, she replied, "i want to just tell people like just ask her out already!” Then more recently, she says before our meeting "slack me at 1:15 and if i dont answer call me (she inserts her phone number). i refuse to miss our meeting" I reply "will do and its ok if you dont make it!" She replies "nope i'll be there, sometimes i get caught with other meeting " then slacks him at 1:04 im out! I hearted her message T_T So in summary, we laugh a lot. about nothing literally. I’m pretty certain she is straight but i can’t help but wondehope that some of her friendliness is interest sometimes. Pretty clueless. Your thoughts PLs!

I want genuine answers and I'm open to criticism.
My (23f) boyfriend (22m) and I were having a conversation about a group of girls that hang around him at his college that make me uncomfortable. In the middle of this discussion, where our emotions were both pretty high, he says "let me show you something" and sends me a video he had taken from the GoPro on his motorcycle helmet.
For context, he just got this motorcycle and it's been his whole world the last few weeks. He's been riding it nonstop and gets very excited when people acknowledge it. In the video, he stops at the red light of a busy intersection. In the car next to him is a group of three teenage girls that start waving at him. He revs his engine to say hi back, they roll down the window and ask for a fist bump. He fists bumps them, they say "You're so cool" and he waves and revs at them again. As the light turns green and they start driving away, the girls yell "YOU'RE SO HOT" and my boyfriend starts giggling.
I ask him why he's showing me this video in the middle of this convo, and he asks if it makes me jealous. I tell him that I might feel a tinge of jealousy under normal pretenses but I wouldn't be upset with him, he can't dictate what a bunch of teen girls say to him & I don't get his point. To paraphrase, he basically says that he wants a girlfriend that would find that video "cool" or laugh about it with him instead of get jealous. That my jealousy is not normal or healthy, and he can't even share that "cool moment" with his girlfriend.
Under normal pretenses, I wouldn't have even been upset. HOWEVER, this isn't normal pretenses because he dropped this video during our convo about some of his female friends at college that make me uncomfortable. It felt like he was trying to "gotcha" me into being like SEE - GIRLS WANTS ME AND UR NOT CHILL ABOUT IT! YOU HAVE JEALOUSY ISSUES! He ALSO brought up that a girl that flirted with him at work once connected with him on linkedin, then waited for me to give him some blow up reaction (which didn't come).
I wont act like I'm perfect either, I have been jealous in the past and I set the tone at the beginning of the relationship, I'm not dealing with girl drama so keep it out of our relationship. I'm not a chill girlfriend at all. But I felt weird about using that video as a gotcha moment. What are your thoughts about jealousy and this conversation? Do people usually brush stuff like this off?

I’m 45. F. Currently working as a para within a very tough special needs classroom. I have worked in several different places but always in education. I have an associate degree. I also have a CDA certification. I feel like I’m better than this job. I have been in lead teaching positions in the past but in a headstart program. I work now in a public school. The people who hear me say I was once a lead teacher laugh at me because headstart isn’t considered a real school and you were not a real teacher. I have seen public school classrooms run, there is no difference in what the children learn or what tasks the lead has before them. I watch the teachers around me and I have so many ideas and thoughts on how to properly run a classroom. When asked my opinion or for help they just scoff at me or act like I don’t know anything. I’m frustrated and tired of this setting. I make better money here than I have before but it’s not a lot. I owe on student loans still and I’m trying by paying what I can. I feel unfulfilled and less than everyone else here. I’ve fought the idea of being a “real” teacher for years thinking I wouldn’t be good or that I would regret it somehow. I feel like I’d fail. I worry about the added cost. The people here act like they are better than all of us paras. They call us support staff - including the janitor and cafeteria workers. I don’t feel better than anyone, but I do feel less than the “teachers”. It’s bringing me down.

Ego issues
I’ve realized that for most of my life I’ve had this “ego” of who I want to be. So it’s been tough to really get to know the real me, childish I know. I’m so embarrassed that I’m now 30 and looking back at how I’ve acted is so shameful. I kept trying to accomplish things instead of looking in the mirror and having self awareness. Instead I ran. Developmentally stunted I guess you could say. And very stupid. I guess I’m looking for similar situations or advice to not feel so cringy towards myself. I just hate myself. Sorry for the rant. Lots of work to do on myself I guess

Our friend group is all 19 & 20. So best believe we should be approaching situations as grown ass woman.
One of my bestfriends out of the group, as unfortunate as it is to say this. Is stuck in this high school drama mindset. It’s DRAINING.
One of the people in the group didn’t want to go on a holiday, doesn’t hang out much due to work commitments. And she stated that there’s always someone falling out in the group, and my friend went and proved that exact point right, by sitting and talking behind her back, saying she boasts about all the money she has, she splashes it on stuff. Like? It’s her money she can do whatever the hell she wants with it!
She created other groupchats to outcast other people because they hang out with someone else more than us?
She talked absolute SHIT about this person. She’s created GCs without me and several others.
Everytime you fall out with her she always comes across like she’s been personally attacked.. e.g i didn’t like soemthing about what she did to me, i approached her about it and she went off on one, bringing people SHE fell out with. And then decided to say part of the reason she fell out with them was because of me??
Like GIRL, i approached those people and TALKED it out, we may not be friends like we were before but i can stand in the fact i approached in the best mature way i could. And she decided to argue instead.
That’s just two of the situations that’s happened, I have a whole book. But what’s the best way to approach arguments with her etc?

so... how does maths with music sound?
i am definitely a jack of all trades, but more importantly i am a master of none. however, i love maths and music. and i would say i'm quite good at them?? leeds offers a course in this, leeds is also my top pick for university rn because it ticks all of my boxes.
i don't do IB music, which is what they ideally want. i didn't do it because i despise the teacher, she fucked up our gcses and i really do not want to test how bad she is for IB (she missed the whole first term of Y12 because she was very ill, and missed another couple of weeks this term because she was ill again. she also can't teach when she IS in, more prioritises school concerts, which she terrorizes non musicians over as well). i would have done it at higher level otherwise.
disadvantages to doing this course - i would have to do grade 8 classical guitar alongside IB, which would be a massive pain in the ass. i'm very close to my grade 5 theory exam and will have it done by summer. however i think realistically i won't even have grade 7 by november. i could do grade 8 before i go to uni during the summer after my exams, but idk if this works. also, i'm not sure if i'm good enough for it. but i love performing music and being around music people and talking about music and making music and listening to music sooooo much, but i'm also aware i probably won't stand out on a music course in terms of actual talent. it's because i don't work hard enough on music, because i'm busy with IB. i don't know my limit, and i don't want my limit to end up being something not great. i think i'm good at being creative, but i really want to learn how to use logic/fl studio and produce my own music.
i didn't talk about maths so much because i'm much more sure about getting the grades i need for it, should be no problem for me.
also i'm not sure if this degree will be a disadvantage to me, it doesn't seem the most employable, it's more something i would enjoy and make good connections with (so therefore get a 1st or 2:1) and use as a springboard for my master's (i plan on doing a masters in something way more jobsy like CS, maths or software engineering)
as well as this, leeds is the only uni that offers this course that i really want to go to, other than edinburgh, but edinburgh wants a 7 in IB maths which i don't honestly think i'm capable of, at least not right now. would this affect what i can put on my personal statement?
tysm for any advice :)))

I constantly feel stressed out and I'm not sure what's going on. I am unable to focus on anything. I essentially do nothing, have no friends, and spend the entire day by myself in my room. I cry because I have no words to express how I feel whenever someone tries to say something to me.
Sometimes I think I should die and I feel like a burden to my family but then I remember that I have to live for my mother. In public, I pretend everything is well and smile, but internally, I'm really weak and miserable. I have trouble sleeping at night, and I alternately overeat or refuse to eat anything at all.
My mother noticed that my hands were trembling this morning as I was eating breakfast. I wasn't aware that they were trembling, so she questioned why. I told her that it wasn't and acted like nothing was wrong.
Additionally, I worked really hard to build a strong relationship with my sister. I cooked her good food, cleaned her room, washed her dishes, and did everything else I could to impress her. But, she never treated me like I was her sister; instead, she mocked me and made me feel uneasy. I simply have no idea what's going on or what I should or shouldn't do.

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