Here's my experience:
Elementary school (2001-2007): Kids at my school didn't really have phones but I recall classmates getting in trouble for bringing Game Boy Advances and later Nintendo DS to class
Middle school (2007-2010): Teachers at the middle school I went to were very strict on phones. If a teacher saw you with a phone, they would take it up immediately even if you weren't using it. Also if your phone was taken up, you would have to go to the front office to pick it up at the end of the day. My 8th English grade teacher was an exception. She let us listen to our Ipods or Mp3 players in class while doing class work. She told us not to tell the other teachers
High school (2010-2014): Teachers at the high school I went to weren't as strict. You could have your phones out in the hallway and cafeteria. Some teachers didn't even care if students had their phones out in the classroom before class starts. You still couldn't have your phones out during lectures. Teachers typically only took up phones if they were being used. If a phone was taken up, the teacher would give it back to the student at the end of the period

Full article here:
https://sharylattkisson.com/2016/11/what-the-news-isnt-saying-about-vaccine-autism-studies/
A Small Sampling
Many of the studies have common themes regarding a subset of susceptible children with immunity issues who, when faced with various vaccine challenges, end up with brain damage described as autism.
“Permanent brain damage” is an acknowledged, rare side effect of vaccines; there’s no dispute in that arena. The question is whether the specific form of autism brain injury after vaccination is in any way related to vaccination.
So what are a few of these published studies supporting a possible link between vaccines and autism?
As far back as 1998, a serology study by the College of Pharmacy at University of Michigan supported the hypothesis that an autoimmune response from the live measles virus in MMR vaccine “may play a causal role in autism.” (Nothing to see here, say the critics, that study is old.)
In 2002, a Utah State University study found that “an inappropriate antibody response to MMR [vaccine], specifically the measles component thereof, might be related to pathogenesis of autism.” (“Flawed and non-replicable,” insist the propagandists.)
Also in 2002, the Autism Research Institute in San Diego looked at a combination of vaccine factors. Scientists found the mercury preservative thimerosal used in some vaccines (such as flu shots) could depress a baby’s immunity. That could make him susceptible to chronic measles infection of the gut when he gets MMR vaccine, which contains live measles virus. (The bloggers say it’s an old study, and that other studies contradict it.)
In 2006, a team of microbiologists in Cairo, Egypt concluded, “deficient immune response to measles, mumps and rubella vaccine antigens might be associated with autism, as a leading cause or a resulting event.”
A 2007 study found statistically significant evidence suggesting that boys who got the triple series Hepatitis B vaccine when it contained thimerosal were “more susceptible to developmental disability” than unvaccinated boys.
Similarly, a 5-year study of 79,000 children by the same institution found boys given Hepatitis B vaccine at birth had a three times increased risk for autism than boys vaccinated later or not at all. Nonwhite boys were at greatest risk. (“Weak study,” say the critics.)
A 2009 study in The Journal of Child Neurology found a major flaw in a widely-cited study that claimed no link between thimerosal in vaccines and autism. Their analysis found that “the original p value was in error and that a significant relation does exist between the blood levels of mercury and diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder.”
[quote]The researchers noted, “Like the link between aspirin and heart attack, even a small effect can have major health implications. If there is any link between autism and mercury, it is absolutely crucial that the first reports of the question are not falsely stating that no link occurs.”[/quote] (Critics: the study is not to be believed.)
A 2010 rat study by the Polish Academy of Sciences suggested “likely involvement” of thimerosal in vaccines (such as flu shots) “in neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism.” (The critics dismiss rat studies.)
In 2010, a pilot study in Acta Neurobiologiae Experimentalis found that infant monkeys given the 1990’s recommended pediatric vaccine regimen showed important brain changes warranting “additional research into the potential impact of an interaction between the MMR and thimerosal-containing vaccines on brain structure and function.”
A study from Japan’s Kinki University in 2010 supported “the possible biological plausibility for how low-dose exposure to mercury from thimerosal-containing vaccines may be associated with autism.”
A 2011 study from Australia’s Swinburne University supported the hypothesis that sensitivity to mercury, such as thimerosal in flu shots, may be a genetic risk factor for autism. (Critics call the study “strange” with “logical hurdles.”)
A Journal of Immunotoxicology review in 2011 by a former pharmaceutical company senior scientist concluded autism could result from more than one cause including encephalitis (brain damage) following vaccination. (Critics say she reviewed “debunked and fringe” science.)
In 2011, City University of New York correlated autism prevalence with increased childhood vaccine uptake. “Although mercury has been removed from many vaccines, other culprits may link vaccines to autism,” said the study’s lead author. (To critics, it’s “junk science.”)
A University of British Columbia study in 2011 that found “the correlation between Aluminum [an adjuvant] in vaccines and [autism] may be causal.” (More “junk science,” say the propagandists.)
A 2011 rat study out of Warsaw, Poland found thimerosal in vaccines given at a young age could contribute to neurodevelopmental disorders. (Proves nothing, say critics.)
A Chinese study in 2012 suggested that febrile seizures (an acknowledged side effect of some vaccines) and family history of neuropsychiatric disorders correlate with autistic regression.
A 2012 study from the Neurochemistry Research Marie Curie Chairs Program in Poland found that newborn exposure to vaccines with thimerosal (such as flu shots) might cause glutamate-related brain injuries.
In 2013, neurosurgeons at the Methodist Neurological Institute found that children with mild mitochondrial defect may be highly susceptible to toxins like the vaccine preservative thimerosal found in vaccines such as flu shots. (“Too small” of a study, say the critics.)
In 2016, Frontiers published a survey of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated children. The vaccinated had a higher rate of allergies and NDD (neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism) than the unvaccinated. Vaccination, but not preterm birth, remained significantly associated with NDD after controlling for other factors. However, preterm birth combined with vaccination was associated with an apparent synergistic increase in the odds of NDD.
Then, there’s a 2004 Columbia University study presented at the Institute of Medicine. It found that mice predisposed for genetic autoimmune disorder developed autistic-like behavior after receiving mercury-containing vaccines. (Critics say that’s not proof, and the work was not replicable.)
There’s Dr. William Thompson, the current CDC senior scientist who has come forward with an extraordinary statement to say that he and his agency have engaged in long term efforts to obscure a study’s significant link between vaccines and autism, heightened in African Americans boys. (The CDC says the data changes made were for legitimate reasons.)
There’s the current CDC immunization safety director who acknowledged to me that it’s possible vaccines may rarely trigger autism in children who are biologically or genetically susceptible to vaccine injury.
There’s the case of Hannah Poling, in which the government secretly admitted multiple vaccines given in one day triggered her brain injuries, including autism, then paid a multi-million dollar settlement, and had the case sealed from the prying public eyes under a confidentiality order.
There was the former head of the National Institutes of Health, Dr. Bernadine Healy, who stoked her peers’ ire by publicly stating that the vaccine-autism link was not a “myth” as so many tried to claim. She disclosed that her colleagues at the Institute of Medicine did not wish to investigate the possible link because they feared the impact it would have on the vaccination program.
There’s former CDC researcher Poul Thorsen, whose studies dispelled a vaccine autism link. He’s now a “most wanted fugitive” after being charged with 13 counts of wire fraud and nine counts of money laundering for allegedly using CDC grants of tax dollars to buy a house and cars for himself.
And there are the former scientists from Merck, maker of the MMR vaccine in question, who have turned into whistleblowers and accuse their company of committing vaccine fraud.

Full article here:
https://sharylattkisson.com/2016/11/what-the-news-isnt-saying-about-vaccine-autism-studies/
A Small Sampling
Many of the studies have common themes regarding a subset of susceptible children with immunity issues who, when faced with various vaccine challenges, end up with brain damage described as autism.
“Permanent brain damage” is an acknowledged, rare side effect of vaccines; there’s no dispute in that arena. The question is whether the specific form of autism brain injury after vaccination is in any way related to vaccination.
So what are a few of these published studies supporting a possible link between vaccines and autism?
As far back as 1998, a serology study by the College of Pharmacy at University of Michigan supported the hypothesis that an autoimmune response from the live measles virus in MMR vaccine “may play a causal role in autism.” (Nothing to see here, say the critics, that study is old.)
In 2002, a Utah State University study found that “an inappropriate antibody response to MMR [vaccine], specifically the measles component thereof, might be related to pathogenesis of autism.” (“Flawed and non-replicable,” insist the propagandists.)
Also in 2002, the Autism Research Institute in San Diego looked at a combination of vaccine factors. Scientists found the mercury preservative thimerosal used in some vaccines (such as flu shots) could depress a baby’s immunity. That could make him susceptible to chronic measles infection of the gut when he gets MMR vaccine, which contains live measles virus. (The bloggers say it’s an old study, and that other studies contradict it.)
In 2006, a team of microbiologists in Cairo, Egypt concluded, “deficient immune response to measles, mumps and rubella vaccine antigens might be associated with autism, as a leading cause or a resulting event.”
A 2007 study found statistically significant evidence suggesting that boys who got the triple series Hepatitis B vaccine when it contained thimerosal were “more susceptible to developmental disability” than unvaccinated boys.
Similarly, a 5-year study of 79,000 children by the same institution found boys given Hepatitis B vaccine at birth had a three times increased risk for autism than boys vaccinated later or not at all. Nonwhite boys were at greatest risk. (“Weak study,” say the critics.)
A 2009 study in The Journal of Child Neurology found a major flaw in a widely-cited study that claimed no link between thimerosal in vaccines and autism. Their analysis found that “the original p value was in error and that a significant relation does exist between the blood levels of mercury and diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder.”
[quote]The researchers noted, “Like the link between aspirin and heart attack, even a small effect can have major health implications. If there is any link between autism and mercury, it is absolutely crucial that the first reports of the question are not falsely stating that no link occurs.”[/quote] (Critics: the study is not to be believed.)
A 2010 rat study by the Polish Academy of Sciences suggested “likely involvement” of thimerosal in vaccines (such as flu shots) “in neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism.” (The critics dismiss rat studies.)
In 2010, a pilot study in Acta Neurobiologiae Experimentalis found that infant monkeys given the 1990’s recommended pediatric vaccine regimen showed important brain changes warranting “additional research into the potential impact of an interaction between the MMR and thimerosal-containing vaccines on brain structure and function.”
A study from Japan’s Kinki University in 2010 supported “the possible biological plausibility for how low-dose exposure to mercury from thimerosal-containing vaccines may be associated with autism.”
A 2011 study from Australia’s Swinburne University supported the hypothesis that sensitivity to mercury, such as thimerosal in flu shots, may be a genetic risk factor for autism. (Critics call the study “strange” with “logical hurdles.”)
A Journal of Immunotoxicology review in 2011 by a former pharmaceutical company senior scientist concluded autism could result from more than one cause including encephalitis (brain damage) following vaccination. (Critics say she reviewed “debunked and fringe” science.)
In 2011, City University of New York correlated autism prevalence with increased childhood vaccine uptake. “Although mercury has been removed from many vaccines, other culprits may link vaccines to autism,” said the study’s lead author. (To critics, it’s “junk science.”)
A University of British Columbia study in 2011 that found “the correlation between Aluminum [an adjuvant] in vaccines and [autism] may be causal.” (More “junk science,” say the propagandists.)
A 2011 rat study out of Warsaw, Poland found thimerosal in vaccines given at a young age could contribute to neurodevelopmental disorders. (Proves nothing, say critics.)
A Chinese study in 2012 suggested that febrile seizures (an acknowledged side effect of some vaccines) and family history of neuropsychiatric disorders correlate with autistic regression.
A 2012 study from the Neurochemistry Research Marie Curie Chairs Program in Poland found that newborn exposure to vaccines with thimerosal (such as flu shots) might cause glutamate-related brain injuries.
In 2013, neurosurgeons at the Methodist Neurological Institute found that children with mild mitochondrial defect may be highly susceptible to toxins like the vaccine preservative thimerosal found in vaccines such as flu shots. (“Too small” of a study, say the critics.)
In 2016, Frontiers published a survey of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated children. The vaccinated had a higher rate of allergies and NDD (neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism) than the unvaccinated. Vaccination, but not preterm birth, remained significantly associated with NDD after controlling for other factors. However, preterm birth combined with vaccination was associated with an apparent synergistic increase in the odds of NDD.
Then, there’s a 2004 Columbia University study presented at the Institute of Medicine. It found that mice predisposed for genetic autoimmune disorder developed autistic-like behavior after receiving mercury-containing vaccines. (Critics say that’s not proof, and the work was not replicable.)
There’s Dr. William Thompson, the current CDC senior scientist who has come forward with an extraordinary statement to say that he and his agency have engaged in long term efforts to obscure a study’s significant link between vaccines and autism, heightened in African Americans boys. (The CDC says the data changes made were for legitimate reasons.)
There’s the current CDC immunization safety director who acknowledged to me that it’s possible vaccines may rarely trigger autism in children who are biologically or genetically susceptible to vaccine injury.
There’s the case of Hannah Poling, in which the government secretly admitted multiple vaccines given in one day triggered her brain injuries, including autism, then paid a multi-million dollar settlement, and had the case sealed from the prying public eyes under a confidentiality order.
There was the former head of the National Institutes of Health, Dr. Bernadine Healy, who stoked her peers’ ire by publicly stating that the vaccine-autism link was not a “myth” as so many tried to claim. She disclosed that her colleagues at the Institute of Medicine did not wish to investigate the possible link because they feared the impact it would have on the vaccination program.
There’s former CDC researcher Poul Thorsen, whose studies dispelled a vaccine autism link. He’s now a “most wanted fugitive” after being charged with 13 counts of wire fraud and nine counts of money laundering for allegedly using CDC grants of tax dollars to buy a house and cars for himself.
And there are the former scientists from Merck, maker of the MMR vaccine in question, who have turned into whistleblowers and accuse their company of committing vaccine fraud.

Full article here:
https://sharylattkisson.com/2016/11/what-the-news-isnt-saying-about-vaccine-autism-studies/
A Small Sampling
Many of the studies have common themes regarding a subset of susceptible children with immunity issues who, when faced with various vaccine challenges, end up with brain damage described as autism.
“Permanent brain damage” is an acknowledged, rare side effect of vaccines; there’s no dispute in that arena. The question is whether the specific form of autism brain injury after vaccination is in any way related to vaccination.
So what are a few of these published studies supporting a possible link between vaccines and autism?
As far back as 1998, a serology study by the College of Pharmacy at University of Michigan supported the hypothesis that an autoimmune response from the live measles virus in MMR vaccine “may play a causal role in autism.” (Nothing to see here, say the critics, that study is old.)
In 2002, a Utah State University study found that “an inappropriate antibody response to MMR [vaccine], specifically the measles component thereof, might be related to pathogenesis of autism.” (“Flawed and non-replicable,” insist the propagandists.)
Also in 2002, the Autism Research Institute in San Diego looked at a combination of vaccine factors. Scientists found the mercury preservative thimerosal used in some vaccines (such as flu shots) could depress a baby’s immunity. That could make him susceptible to chronic measles infection of the gut when he gets MMR vaccine, which contains live measles virus. (The bloggers say it’s an old study, and that other studies contradict it.)
In 2006, a team of microbiologists in Cairo, Egypt concluded, “deficient immune response to measles, mumps and rubella vaccine antigens might be associated with autism, as a leading cause or a resulting event.”
A 2007 study found statistically significant evidence suggesting that boys who got the triple series Hepatitis B vaccine when it contained thimerosal were “more susceptible to developmental disability” than unvaccinated boys.
Similarly, a 5-year study of 79,000 children by the same institution found boys given Hepatitis B vaccine at birth had a three times increased risk for autism than boys vaccinated later or not at all. Nonwhite boys were at greatest risk. (“Weak study,” say the critics.)
A 2009 study in The Journal of Child Neurology found a major flaw in a widely-cited study that claimed no link between thimerosal in vaccines and autism. Their analysis found that “the original p value was in error and that a significant relation does exist between the blood levels of mercury and diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder.”
[quote]The researchers noted, “Like the link between aspirin and heart attack, even a small effect can have major health implications. If there is any link between autism and mercury, it is absolutely crucial that the first reports of the question are not falsely stating that no link occurs.”[/quote] (Critics: the study is not to be believed.)
A 2010 rat study by the Polish Academy of Sciences suggested “likely involvement” of thimerosal in vaccines (such as flu shots) “in neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism.” (The critics dismiss rat studies.)
In 2010, a pilot study in Acta Neurobiologiae Experimentalis found that infant monkeys given the 1990’s recommended pediatric vaccine regimen showed important brain changes warranting “additional research into the potential impact of an interaction between the MMR and thimerosal-containing vaccines on brain structure and function.”
A study from Japan’s Kinki University in 2010 supported “the possible biological plausibility for how low-dose exposure to mercury from thimerosal-containing vaccines may be associated with autism.”
A 2011 study from Australia’s Swinburne University supported the hypothesis that sensitivity to mercury, such as thimerosal in flu shots, may be a genetic risk factor for autism. (Critics call the study “strange” with “logical hurdles.”)
A Journal of Immunotoxicology review in 2011 by a former pharmaceutical company senior scientist concluded autism could result from more than one cause including encephalitis (brain damage) following vaccination. (Critics say she reviewed “debunked and fringe” science.)
In 2011, City University of New York correlated autism prevalence with increased childhood vaccine uptake. “Although mercury has been removed from many vaccines, other culprits may link vaccines to autism,” said the study’s lead author. (To critics, it’s “junk science.”)
A University of British Columbia study in 2011 that found “the correlation between Aluminum [an adjuvant] in vaccines and [autism] may be causal.” (More “junk science,” say the propagandists.)
A 2011 rat study out of Warsaw, Poland found thimerosal in vaccines given at a young age could contribute to neurodevelopmental disorders. (Proves nothing, say critics.)
A Chinese study in 2012 suggested that febrile seizures (an acknowledged side effect of some vaccines) and family history of neuropsychiatric disorders correlate with autistic regression.
A 2012 study from the Neurochemistry Research Marie Curie Chairs Program in Poland found that newborn exposure to vaccines with thimerosal (such as flu shots) might cause glutamate-related brain injuries.
In 2013, neurosurgeons at the Methodist Neurological Institute found that children with mild mitochondrial defect may be highly susceptible to toxins like the vaccine preservative thimerosal found in vaccines such as flu shots. (“Too small” of a study, say the critics.)
In 2016, Frontiers published a survey of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated children. The vaccinated had a higher rate of allergies and NDD (neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism) than the unvaccinated. Vaccination, but not preterm birth, remained significantly associated with NDD after controlling for other factors. However, preterm birth combined with vaccination was associated with an apparent synergistic increase in the odds of NDD.
Then, there’s a 2004 Columbia University study presented at the Institute of Medicine. It found that mice predisposed for genetic autoimmune disorder developed autistic-like behavior after receiving mercury-containing vaccines. (Critics say that’s not proof, and the work was not replicable.)
There’s Dr. William Thompson, the current CDC senior scientist who has come forward with an extraordinary statement to say that he and his agency have engaged in long term efforts to obscure a study’s significant link between vaccines and autism, heightened in African Americans boys. (The CDC says the data changes made were for legitimate reasons.)
There’s the current CDC immunization safety director who acknowledged to me that it’s possible vaccines may rarely trigger autism in children who are biologically or genetically susceptible to vaccine injury.
There’s the case of Hannah Poling, in which the government secretly admitted multiple vaccines given in one day triggered her brain injuries, including autism, then paid a multi-million dollar settlement, and had the case sealed from the prying public eyes under a confidentiality order.
There was the former head of the National Institutes of Health, Dr. Bernadine Healy, who stoked her peers’ ire by publicly stating that the vaccine-autism link was not a “myth” as so many tried to claim. She disclosed that her colleagues at the Institute of Medicine did not wish to investigate the possible link because they feared the impact it would have on the vaccination program.
There’s former CDC researcher Poul Thorsen, whose studies dispelled a vaccine autism link. He’s now a “most wanted fugitive” after being charged with 13 counts of wire fraud and nine counts of money laundering for allegedly using CDC grants of tax dollars to buy a house and cars for himself.
And there are the former scientists from Merck, maker of the MMR vaccine in question, who have turned into whistleblowers and accuse their company of committing vaccine fraud.

Originally posted on https://productidentity.co/p/designing-for-a-single-purpose
If you’ve ever been to Amsterdam, you’ve probably visited, or at least heard about the famous cookie store that sells only one cookie. I mean, not a piece, but a single flavor.
I’m talking about Van Stapele Koekmakerij of course—where you can get one of the world's most delicious chocolate chip cookies. If not arriving at opening hour, it’s likely to find a long queue extending from the store’s doorstep through the street it resides. When I visited the city a few years ago, I watched the sensation myself: a nervous crowd awaited as the rumor of ‘out of stock’ cookies spreaded across the line.
The store, despite becoming a landmark for tourists, stands for an idea that seems to be forgotten in our culture: crafting for a single purpose.
In the tech scene where I’m coming from, and which you might too, this approach is often perceived as singular, and not in its positiveness. We’ve been taught to go big or go home—raise millions in funding, build a big company, hire more and more employees, and hope for the desired exit.
Anything less is considered a mind of a failure.
From a personal perspective I’ve seen this attitude in almost every branding session I ran with startup founders. Again and again, they struggled to distill their primary focus. Moreover, when discussing competitors, it often seemed their startup competed in every possible field.
In a way, that fear of committing reflects the human nature of FOMO—deliberately giving up on something(s) and experiencing the potential loss of other benefits.
This mindset has also seeped into our collective body of work, especially in software. A product, which often starts as a weird small creature, gradually evolves into a multi-arm octopus, which sadly became the norm for VCware.
And so we’ve been left with bloated, bigger, and… worse software.
The idea of maintaining a small scope in product has already appeared in my writing in various forms; in niche product design I explored the effect of growth on design; and in defense of Twitter, I wrote about the bloated era of incumbent culture. But in between there seems to be a different attitude that not many choose to embrace, which like in Van Stapele’s case, seeks a real purpose.

Going back to basics as a way to find purpose

In a tweet posted a few months ago, Jeff Sheldon described his renewed approach to photography after getting a new camera. It enlightened my eyes.
I’m not a professional photographer, and never been. But my beloved Canon 700D still serves me often while traveling. Besides learning about ISO and shutter speed settings, being familiar with the mechanics of a DSLR camera has also introduced me to the practice of shooting photos in RAW format, which means capturing photos at the highest quality level.
But the super heavy file format marks only the start of the process in modern photography. The rest belongs to the post-processing act: the daunting work of polishing, enhancing, and fixing images.
When I returned from vacation, I hoped to edit my captures. Then I noticed something weird. When comparing my photos to some stunning photos I saw online, it seemed like my camera output wasn’t as good as those shared photos. In doubt of my gear I then, again, noticed something I should have probably known: it wasn’t about the camera, but the editing.
I realized professional-made photos were overly edited, often detached from their original conditions. It appeared that what you see isn’t what you get.
I wondered, has photography become an art of photo manipulation?
To respectful photographers, this might appear like a false accusation. The time spent sitting in front of the photo editor is at the heart of many camera enthusiasts. After all, that’s why a camera is set to shoot in raw.
But this potential debate triggers a more profound question: what’s the purpose of all this thing, to find the perfect angle or color filter?
Despite being somewhat contradicting with modern photography philosophy, I find “going back to basics”, as Jeff described, to reflect the same spirit as of Van Stapele—a devotion to a very minded process. No editing. No over-complication. Working only in one mode, and for the sake of it.
At first glance, Van Stapele’s laser-focused outlook might seem detached from tech and other mass-production industries. But there’s a line that can be drawn between the Dutch cookie store to some other products which makes them all distinct:

• You can only read e-books with a Kindle.
• There’s no app store on the Light Phone.
• You’ll mostly find waterproof apparel in a Rains store.
• The Bic pen has remained untouched for almost 70 years.
• The design of Are.na remained the same for more than 12 years.

Whilst not every product mentioned above is hard-core focused like Van Stapele, the pattern is clear: an intentional commitment to a single purpose—either as a life philosophy, by using specific materials, or a deliberate design. And it also feels more appreciable when succeeding that way.
Some might call out a gimmick, while others appreciate the care for deep focus, which both are understandable. Finding the perfect recipe for the perfect cookie, and then committing to selling only that can be novel or a trick in marketing—depends on who you ask. But as I will stretch out from now on, I choose novelty.
We started with very minimal and basic products, aimed to serve only one simple job. A car to get from point A to B, a telephone to communicate with others, and a watch to check the time (perhaps the last analog device to serve human beings). But then many of our mundane artifacts have become more of a Swiss knife rather than just being exceptional in one form. We’re now drowning in oceans of product suites, both in the digital and physical worlds.

The bloated culture

In software, this trajectory is no different. Furthermore, it’s on steroids.
Despite “Do one thing well” being common advice for people building products in tech, it fails to hold water in the long run. Temptations are far too many to build and launch new stuff. Here’s Dropbox, a famous example of software turned bloated, in the words of DHH of 37signals:

Over the years, Dropbox has tried a million different things to juice upsells, seat expansions, and other ways to move the needle. There’s been a plethora of collaboration features (when all the collab I ever need is those magic links to files I can send over any wire!) and more and more pushy prompts to, say, move pictures and videos straight from the camera into the cloud. Along with pleas not to store the files I have in the system on my local computers (presumably so the transfer costs they pay are less). It’s exhausting.
I just want to pay for the original premise: All my files synched between all my computers, with a backup in the sky. That’s a beautifully, simply solution to a surprisingly difficult problem. And Dropbox absolutely nailed it.
Finished software

Back in its heyday, Dropbox was simple. A classic piece of software. Its purpose was to allow people to store and share files on the cloud effortlessly—either from a computer or mobile device. It was straightforward. Even its homepage was simple. There were no bells and whistles. It was designed to serve… a single purpose.
But as with VCware, things have started to shift gears. Amid Google Drive's popularity, the “drop-to-the-box” identity started to blur as the product offering expanded.. and expanded. It seemed like Dropbox’s purpose became more generic and less focused.
Another resentment that ignited a storm in the design community occurred when the company announced a brand redesign a few years ago. In a way that act marked the shift in the company’s direction, bringing unclarity to its customers. The cynicism of Brand New's audience also made its review post one of the most popular that year.
The novel idea that was executed so well has followed the same growth patterns of the tech bubble—as I wrote in Niche product design:

As companies grow, they gradually move from a state of fan-only to a state of a product for everyone. During this transition, dramatic changes occur, as the drive to satisfy more audiences and increase revenue. But eventually, this shift harms the core of the product. It becomes scattered, and the brand turns into a gigantic octopus, leaving people questioning its purpose and values.

An email client, a note-taking tool, and a Photos-like app are only part of what Dropbox has been involved with over the years.
Today Dropbox is seemingly much more than a storage cloud service. It’s also a video reviewer (if there’s such a term at all), a Loom competitor, and a document e-sign tool. However, at its core, Dropbox is still a company selling terabytes on the cloud.
Yet Dropbox might be just a drop in the ocean. A symptom of a bloated culture in modern software. To better understand this bloat-mania, let’s look at one of its kingpins, and a company of which Dropbox is valued at 0.003% of its worth: Apple. And what’s a better example than one of its greatest products of all time, the iPhone?
Launched in 2007, the innovative touch-screen device had only essential features like phone calls, and text messaging among other luxuries like a camera, an internet browser, a weather, and a stock app. The peak of technology at the time.
In 2008, a year after the first iPhone release, Apple introduced the App Store, which was the catalyst for entering the smartphone era while unleashing a tidal wave of apps.
Fast forward to 2014, and the iPhone got an upgrade in the form of a multi-model release, with the launch of the iPhone 6 Plus. The trend expanded and Apple gradually added different shapes and names to the iPhone line: Plus, Pro, Pro Max, alongside other discontinued model names. This doctrine has been applied to many of Apple’s products—the iPad, Macbook, and Watch. Some got bigger, smaller, or faster. In a materialized world, I wouldn’t be surprised if the iPhone got bigger only to store more functions.
But perhaps the greatest archetype of Apple’s transition to bloated products was the iPod. The next-level MP3 (or 4?) essence was simple—to carry music on the road. Nothing more. But then Apple gave the iPod a life of its own, as it eventually became an iPhone replication, just without a SIM card.
The iPod (especially the non-touch model) is still dear to many Apple (non-)fansbois. The beloved product was designed entirely around the music experience. Before music streaming services took over the industry, people manually entered song metadata: the title, artist name, and of course—the holy album artwork. The hurdles of iTunes made this a daunting task, but iPod users found joy in this craft.
As a standalone product, disconnected from other functions, the iPod was a true single-purpose product.

In more recent times

What would happen if Van Stapele decided to add more flavors or open other branches? Probably nothing. Maybe its profits even increase. But the Valrhona chocolate-made cookie store icon will be losing its artisanal identity. Specialty and quality aren't determined by size.
In a more familiar case, we can look no further than the platform that hosts these very own words—Substack. Since the announcement of Notes, Substackers have shared concerns about the direction the platform is heading.
Substack’s original purpose, to some, was to highlight great writing while making writers a living. Now with the seeming transition for eyeballs and short-form content attention, Substack is being questioned whether modern social network dynamics are taking over it.
To close this social network loop—Twitter has been a good executer at designing for a single purpose until it wasn’t, largely by the decision of going for a longform direction alongside launching questionable features. For years Twitter sanctified the quirky 140-then-280-characters limit while establishing a new internet medium. Those recent announcements made by its new execs are ripping off its identity, slowly but surely. By adding more purposes to this platform design, Substack risks going down a similar path, jeopardizing its writer's soul.

Drinking beers and building businesses in Japan

If I were raised in Japan I may not understand what this turmoil is all about. The renowned business heritage in Japan is an oasis in the never-ending capitalistic desert:

Japan’s startup climate has often been criticized for being sluggish, perhaps because a culture that promotes business longevity also cultivates a fear of failure. Now, however, ‘startup’ and ‘atotsugi’ are words spoken in the same sentence, as today’s leaders finally feel permitted to apply entrepreneurial lessons to traditional companies to ensure their legacy continues. Why Japan is home to the world’s oldest businesses

Japan is located on the other side of the earth, and its business culture values seem too. In a Western society of hyper-everything, which characterizes the move-fast-and-break-things startup ethos, the far island culture is way more cautious. Instead of financial logic, which might seem irrational, the ‘shinise’ tradition cultivates sacred values such as continuous improvement, longevity, and care for quality. It’s an extremely long-term game.

In Japan, more than 52,000 companies are more than a century old. Why Japan is home to the world’s oldest businesses

Japan is probably the largest home for centuries-old businesses, in varied fields from sake producers, to hotels and construction companies. This fact is much attributed to how generations of Japanese aspire to keep businesses running in the family. But as in the words of Yusuke Tsuen, the current owner of Tsuen Tea, the key to sustaining a shinise is to focus only on one thing:

“We’ve focused on tea and haven’t expanded the business too much,” he says. “That’s why we’re surviving.” Why so many of the world’s oldest companies are in Japan, Bryan Lufkin

In The Price of Immortality, Rohit Krishnan concluded the same:

The conclusion of this little digression has been to find common grounds amongst the most long lived organisations, and turns out you need to be a particular type of company: Extreme dedication to doing one thing well

But the Japanese business heritage isn’t the last and only resort from bloat-ism. The next time you drink beer, think about this:
Weihenstephan is considered to be the oldest brewery in the world, founded in 1040, more than a thousand years ago. And we don’t need to travel this far back. Other European breweries like Tuborg (1873) and Heineken (1864) are over 150 years old.
Van Honsebrouck, the brewery that produces the famous Kasteel Rouge was founded in 1865 and is still owned by the same family.

The brewery is still owned and operated by the family, now the seventh generation of van Honsebrouck brewers in Ingelmunster. James Clay

Breweries have developed more tastes and flavors over the years, but they’ve been all operating for a single purpose for decades and hundreds of years: to craft beers.

What might come next?

A real shinise is rare in tech. Focusing on a single purpose often seems boring, a narrowed view, or a lack of ambition to some. But I find it invigorating. A long-lasting design can be timeless and unique.
Do we really want to carry our stress, depression, and fears everywhere we go? Don’t we want to feel disconnected from time to time? Then why the heck do we carry our mobile phones everywhere we go, even to entertain ourselves in the toilet? And not to mention the germs.
Would this all happen if we were using a cell phone that’s just designed to make phone calls? This is actually what the Light Phone founders realized a decade ago:

What does it do? Nothing. You put in a SIM card, press a few buttons, and make a call. There’s no browser. No games. No NFC. It has quick dial, which is nice, and it doubles as a flashlight. The Light Phone Is The Anti-Smartphone, John Biggs

I may get carried away from the main idea of this essay, but that’s in part why I think designing for a single purpose is so important. The purpose of many products and artifacts has gone lost. Beyond the seeming gimmick, building for a single purpose reflects an understanding of what a thing is meant to be, and serve.
We’ve reached a point where focusing seems like spinning one's wheels, instead of appreciating the deep care of it.
And perhaps going back to basics is inevitable. When I’m reading on my Kindle I don’t get bothered by WhatsApp messages, or get interrupted by an incoming call. I’m not being tempted to do something else. I’m just focused on the act of reading.
As Devon tweeted a few years back: “When using my cellphone, I tend to become a passive consumer of the internet.” This also resonates well with the idea of this whole long text but from a slightly different angle. Using a multi-purpose product increases my distraction level, as I consume more things in the background.
Using a product that was designed for a single purpose brings back joy. It removes all the unnecessities and emphasizes an experience essence in a calmer environment, and with a real purpose.
Unlike photography, what you see is what you get.
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Welcome back to this write-up about a complicated artist's complicated book.
Don't be absurd, of course you have time!
Part 1 Part 2
Now that we've established what the book is about, let's take a look at The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls' rich publication and re-publication history. I promise, it's more scandalous than it sounds.

“HER SPEECH IS NOTHING, YET THE UNSHAPÈD USE OF IT DOTH MOVE THE HEARERS TO COLLECTION” (HORATIO, ACT IV SCENE 5)

As I've mentioned in the last installment, TAFWVG has been released multiple times, in multiple editions – four of them, to be precise. And I wish I was exaggerating when I say that three of those four releases have been veritable masterclasses in testing your audience's loyalty. In case you're wondering: the secret is to alter your source material in strange and unpredictable ways, while also constantly messing up on the customer service front.
Most of this installment condenses and combines these two excellent write-ups, which contain most of the receipts: TAFWVG: A History / The Bloody Crumpets: An Inconsistent History. 🔍 Anything that isn't sourced with links is in there. While there were only minor differences between the first and second pressings, the third and fourth editions came with significant alterations to the structure of the book and the story itself, notably the cast of fictional Asylum inmates... a handful of which had, in fact, been obvious avatars of EA's IRL friends and collaborators.
It turns out there are good reasons why most fiction authors don't do real-life inserts so overtly – but in EA's case, it did make sense, and was warmly embraced by fans upon release. When the book first came out, some of these people had been familiar to the fanbase for years, frequently appearing in candid pictures on EA's blog and leaving comments on the forum; some were also involved in her music and show. Recognizing that one character's name was a pun on So-and-So's username was a nice Easter egg for veteran fans, and newcomers got to learn about fandom lore; it brought the story to life and the community closer.
One side character, for instance, was named after EA's best friend from Chicago, whom many fans had had direct interactions with: she co-ran EA's online stores during the Enchant years, and acted as admin, main moderator and EA-liaison of the forum throughout its near-decade of existence.
One crazy girl who thinks she's a pirate is 100% OC... but her description and illustrations 🪞 were explicitly modeled after pictures of Bloody Crumpet Vecona (one of EA's back-up performers), who became the first stand-in pirate character 📺 in the live show. Captain Vecona was also celebrated as the “Asylum Seamstress” 🪞🔍: most of the iconic early Opheliac costumes were her design. She had a following of her own, even prior to touring with EA, for her professional costuming work and her collaborations with German photographer Angst-im-Wald. (Shitty archive link, sorry - most of those badass photoshoots seem to have been lost to time. But if you were a European goth in the mid-2000s, search your old hard drives: I promise you, you've downloaded some of those pictures.)
Inmate “Veronica”, a cabaret girl diagnosed as a nymphomaniac, was a doppelgänger of her namesake, burlesque dancer Veronica Varlow 🪞 – the ride-or-die Crumpet, whom EA often lovingly called her “husband”, saying they had been lovers in a previous lifetime. Veronica was part of every single tour post-Opheliac release and developed a solid fanbase of her own, which she maintains to this day.
Even the brave and well-mannered talking rats (oh yeah, there's talking rats in the Asylum story) were named after EA's real-life pet rodents, who had featured in glamorous photoshoots. (Slight NSFW for sideboob.)
You get the general gimmick by now: EA turns her personal life into art, which she turns into a fictional world, which she then prompts the audience to inhabit with her. The whole Asylum concept was essentially an open invitation to self-insert parasocial fanfic: “Here's this very personal world that I've created, in which I, the artist, exist as a fictional persona, alongside all these quirky inmate characters that you've seen in my stage show, and who are avatars my real-life friends. Come on in, make it your home, and populate it with your own zany Victorian alter egos.”
And it worked, to an extent: like I've said, most fans were on board before they'd even read the book, and the Asylum became “real” in that sense.
But it can get a bit disorienting to find your place in a fantasy world, when said world keeps changing based on the author's shifting feelings about her story, her target audience, and her friends... plus, you'd love to read the book, but the darn thing still hasn't shipped.

ROUNDS 1 & 2: THE HARDCOVERS

\A MINOR ADJUSTMENT\
TAFWVG was first teased in spoken-word bonus tracks 🎤 on a 2007 EP. In spring 2008, EA started reading excerpts from her upcoming book at live shows. Early excerpts from the Asylum narrative featured a character named “Jo Hee” 📺; in the story, she is a cellist from “the Orient” (love that Victorian geography) and Emily's childhood confidante.
In real life, Lady Jo Hee, Center of Happiness, was the OG Bloody Crumpet. 📺 She had been there since from the very first Opheliac show in Chicago in 2006, accompanying EA on the electric cello – the only instrumentalist ever featured in the line-up besides EA herself.
In August 2008, Alternative Magazine ran a feature about the upcoming book.🔍, teasing some of its pages. Fans were quick to spot a very sisterly picture of EA and Jo Hee 🪞, borrowed from a fan-favorite photoshoot of the two. (An aside: this specific picture also became famous in the fandom for another reason. At some point, someone made an edit replacing Jo Hee with Amy Lee from Evanescence; for a while, it kept making the rounds in alt/goth internet circuits, casual onlookers kept getting excited about it, and Plague Rats kept having to step in and disappoint them.)
Anyway. For reasons undisclosed by either party, Jo Hee quietly left the Crumpets after that tour, never to be mentioned again.
By the time the book came out in late 2009, the character of “Jo Hee” had been renamed “Sachiko”. (I guess it didn't matter whether the one non-white character in the story was meant to be Korean or Japanese.) Jo Hee's face had been edited out of the (still clearly recognizable) photograph, and eerily replaced with Nondescript_Asian_Woman_023.jpg from Shutterstock.🪞
You'd think that the switcheroo would have raised more eyebrows, or at least some awkward chuckles, among fans of an artist whose better-known lyrics include “If I Photoshop you out of every picture, I could / Go quietly, quiet - but would that do any good?”. Yet to my knowledge, it did not. Possibly because, by the time people got around to reading the book, some fans had been waiting for their copy longer than Jo Hee had been a Crumpet.
A ROCKY RELEASE
Although the book seemed just about ready for publication at the time of those 2008 readings, the initial release was delayed by technical difficulties (some data had been lost during the editing process). And then delayed some more when, a year later, EA cancelled the US leg of a tour and slammed the door on Trisol, accusing the label owner of exploitation and embezzlement (he was allegedly selling fake tickets to her shows on a phony website). In August 2009, she signed over to The End Records, and we were back in business, baby!
Not only was The Book on its way to the presses, but the long-awaited release would coincide with a “Deluxe” re-issue of Opheliac, with new cover art and bonus tracks. For $100, you could pre-order the “Ultimate Book/Album Collection”, which included the revamped album, the book, a t-shirt, a tote bag, a recipe booklet and some bonus digital downloads, to be shipped in October. Or, for a more up-close-and-personal experience, you could purchase a VIP bundle for her upcoming shows in the fall: $50 plus ticket price would get you the book, a swag bag, and a meet-and-greet. (VIP tickets were capped at 20 slots per show; from what I gather, informal interactions with fans at the merch table were becoming overwhelming on previous tours. Again: fast-growing audience.)
Alas, due to printing issues this time, the making and shipping were soon pushed back to December. VIP ticket-holders were assured, at the start of the tour, that their copies would be shipped first as soon as the books were printed, with handwritten dedications from EA. Purchasers of the “Book/Album” bundle would receive theirs shortly thereafter. This seemed like a reasonable trade-off for a minor delay, and no one was too upset. (Well, some might have been, but at that juncture in Asylum history – for reasons that will become apparent in a later installment, when we get to EA's altercations with her fans – I guess they knew better than to get mouthy about it.)
The bundles came first... and in many cases, “bundle” was a generous term, because they arrived incomplete. When the t-shirt or tote bag weren't missing, they were printed the wrong colors. Many digital download codes had to be requested via email. The book itself was beautiful, but poorly bound, typo-ridden, and missing entire pages. (This was largely fixed in the second hardcover release.)
As far as I know, everyone who complained to the distributor got their money back – and I imagine it was a nice surprise when some items showed up, inexplicably, months after they had already been refunded. But it was still a bit of a “sad trombone” moment for many loyal fans, who had to request a refund on the Ultimate Super-Cool Preorder Exclusive Bundle to purchase the book and album separately.
As for the VIP package books, those didn't start shipping until late 2010 – a whole year after the official book release, months after less invested fans had already received their non-preordered copies. Worse: none of the books were signed, much less lovingly adorned with a personalized handwritten note as EA had promised. (And had tweeted about doing during the year-long shipping delay!) After enough fans meekly expressed their intense disappointment, EA's BFF-forum-admin mailed out signed bookplates that people could stick in their book in lieu of a personalized autograph. No real explanation was given. As far as I know, this particular let-down didn't cause a mass exodus of disappointed fans – but, in the midst of other goings-on, it certainly contributed to eroding many fans' trust in EA's word.
EA TAKES ON HOLLYWOOD
The 2011 release of the largely-identical second edition was better planned and overall uneventful, which gives me time to catch you up on contemporaneous events – like the reason EA ditched the Opheliac red and went platinum blonde. 🪞
Around that time, EA got herself a supporting role and a solo number 🎵📺 in The Devil's Carnival, Darren Lynn Bousman's psychocircus-themed movie musical. (If you're scrambling to place the name: depending on what kind of deviant you are, DLB is either the guy who directed half of the Saw movies or the guy who directed Repo! The Genetic Opera.)
If you've clicked the last link: see the bad boy greaser she's dancing with at the end of the song? That's the titular “Scorpion”, played by Marc Senter, and they were totally hitting on each other while shooting this. 📝🪞 They've been an item for twelve years now, in what appears to be a loving and mutually supportive relationship, and they seem besotted with each other. That's only marginally relevant to the story, but it's nice to know that at least one nice thing worked out in all this mess.
Back to 2011. Through her friendship with DLB and the Devil's Carnival cast (a motley crew of top-shelf B-listers 🔍 that included Bill Moseley, Paul Sorvino, the chick from Spy Kids, and the clown from Slipknot), EA also made a bunch of new industry connexions. That's how she came to decide that TAFWVG was meant to be more than a book, more than a live show: it had to become... a musical. Full company, full orchestra, big names, the works. Her 2012 album, Fight Like a Girl, was written and recorded with this project in mind, with most songs narrating events from the book and EA singing as various characters – which turns love duets into finger food for Dr. Freud. 🎵
Shortly before the album release, EA announced on Twitter that the Asylum Musical was scheduled to debut in the London West End, under the direction of Bousman, in 2014. "Casting calls to be announced soon!" (They were not.)

ROUND 3: THE AUDIOBOOK

2014 came, and brought... another TAFWG re-release announcement.
But wait – this time, it was going to be an audiobook! EA had been teasing one since before the original release, so people were quite excited. (It also sounded like a more achievable goal for the calendar year than a West End debut.) In early 2014, recording was well on its way, and the 6-CD boxset was due to ship in May.
PLEASE STAND BY, YOUR ASYLUM WILL BE PROCESSED SHORTLY
First, EA discovered “a new microphone ... that, upon testing, produced a recording of far greater beauty and expressive quality”, which naturally meant the whole thing had to be re-recorded. Two month's delay. No biggie. Our girl is a perfectionist.
But our girl also had to write, coordinate and rehearse her upcoming “Asylum Experience” – an afternoon-long interactive theater event, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, which would be performed at five dates of the Vans Warped Tour in August. (It's not exactly the West End, but it's a start! 🔍) And then she had to prepare for the filming of the Devil's Carnival sequel in the fall. So, obviously, the July deadline was not met. When she finally gave an update in late 2014, the ETA was basically “we are ever so close, but the audiobook gets there when it gets there; feel free to ask for a refund if you're not along for the ride”.
And then she signed with a literary agent. TAFWVG was going to be made into a “real” book, that readers could purchase in stores for a normal price and request from their local library – big event! (More for EA, I think, than for her fans. By that point, the second edition could be purchased as a PDF, and I believe most people who pre-ordered the audiobook had already read the story.) But this involved tailoring the narrative to a more general audience, which meant portions of the book had to be re-written... which meant further delays.

...Besides, and let’s have a teacup of “honesty time” here, if the new Asylum becomes an internationally best-selling novel, not only can we enact more change for good, but the Asylum Musical takes over Broadway faster, the Asylum Movie takes over theatres faster, and YOU are all dressed up as rats/inmates in said movie, you guessed it, faster (“Asylum Audiobook Announcement from EA”📝)

Well, you know what they say in show business: if you can't make it in London, there's always New York.
As EA assured her fans, their patience would be rewarded with a brand new, professionally polished version of the story – and in due time, I guess, a role in the movie. (“Let's hope she doesn't find another new microphone!” 🐀)
From that point on, there seems to have been an ever-widening gap between EA's enthusiasm and fan expectations. When audiobook snippets 🎤.mp3) were released, many fans were unimpressed by the oddly flat, overproduced recording (turns out a microphone can be so good it's a problem! 🐀), which highlighted EA's stilted, uncanny diction and not-quite-transatlantic accent. That caught everyone off guard, because she didn't use to read like... that. Even die-hard apologists had to concede through gritted teeth that, tragically, it was giving William Shatner. (If you're curious, you can find more previews here 🎤📝, along with EA's captions.)
Fans weren't just getting irritated with the various delays and excuses: they were baffled, angry, and embarrassed. When EA clapped back “U know U can just get a refund, right? That is totally within your power to do” on social media, and it came out that requests for refunds had been getting ignored for weeks or months 🐀, seasoned fans were like “Yeah, that tracks.” The whole never-ending ordeal was just starting to feel silly.
All told, the audiobook took two years to complete, with little to no new music in the interim. Two years is a long time for a young-leaning audience! Fans who had preordered at the end of their sophomore year were graduating high school by the time it came out. Others who had been in the middle of undergrad were now looking for full-time jobs. People had gotten pregnant, given birth and potty trained, or had houses built from the ground up. Genuine ultra-fans of the book had had time to... presumably, read other books. (“I wonder how many people passed away waiting for this shitty audiobook to be finished?”)
When the audiobook came out, many long-time Plague Rats had defected, either lamenting the misguided decisions of their favorite artist, or just calling EA a money-grabbing fraud and a lying liar. And a number of patient and unbothered fans had, quite simply, grown out of their EA phase.
Your humble servant, for one, ordered the audiobook the week it went on sale, and stuck with that preorder through five address changes and two graduation ceremonies. Now, bear in mind: through all the ups and downs, even as the charm dispelled, my taste in music evolved, and my perception of EA herself changed, I never formally stopped considering myself a fan. (Mama didn't raise no quitter.) To this day, and to my profound embarrassment, I give enough of a shit that I'm taking the time to write this story at all, and that I was able to draft most of itfrom memory.(Mama didn't teach me how to prioritize.) Well, get this: I have never once listened to the audiobook. I remember unwrapping the signed boxset (minimal artwork, flimsy cardboard, no liner notes), thinking “this could have been an email”, telling myself I'd get around to it for old time's sake... and then I never did, because it was ten hours long, and I just couldn't force myself to care about that story anymore. I was not an isolated case.
In light of this, I apologize in advance for any potential errors in the following paragraphs; others listened so posers like me wouldn't have to 🔍, and I'm going off of their word. The new and improved edition was, indeed, a different book – in that a bunch of things that felt meaningful to fans had been either reworked or excised.
THE AUDIOBOOK EDITS
The hospital narrative had been shortened in favor of the asylum story, and the controversial “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries had been scrapped. Part of the fanbase applauded this decision, but others were disappointed 🐀, as they had found the diaries to be the most (some said only) personal, authentic, and insightful chapters in the book.
Curse words, some abuse, and all mentions of abortion had also been purged. It made the book tamer, but not by much... because Emilie's age had been changed from 27 to 17. Apparently, the literary agent had suggested this to make the book more marketable to a Young Adult audience. No other biographical detail had been altered, so the main narrator was now a 17 year old girl with no parents but an established music career, who checks in by herself into a high-security adult ward, no questions asked. (I'm still perplexed by this one. Did they not expect YA readers to know how hospitals work...?)
The pirate captain, formally known by her “mass of tangled black hair”, was now... a blonde. According to EA, this was a purely aesthetic change: it made the three main Asylum girls a redhead, a blonde and a brunette, which would look better in the stage adaptation. Between the lines, it also distanced the character from its original dark-haired muse: Vecona, who had left the Crumpets in 2008 after a rumored falling-out with EA over unpaid costume work.
The minor characters based on EA's old Chicago friends had been discarded entirely. Which likely made sense for EA – she hadn't lived there in years, the friend group had drifted apart as friend groups do, and by that point, there no longer was an EA forum to administrate or comment on – but not so much for her readers. Some fans had grown fond of these fictional inmates (wasn't that the point?), and weren't too happy to see EA symbolically treat them as disposable. Others were saddened that EA would just scrap these remnants of her old life, and of what felt like simpler, happier times in the fandom. Either way, children, this is why you shouldn't get a neck tattoo of your first boyfriend's name, OR openly base the “good guys” in your career-defining book on friends you made in your early twenties.
To compensate for the loss of... most named inmate characters, Veronica was given a much more prominent role in the plot. Namely, instead of being best friends, Veronica and Emily were now... in love! Lovers! Lesbian lovers! Which naturally meant that Veronica had to die. 🔍 Besides, fans famously love it when you pull a gay ship out of thin air between your two main characters, and then kill one of them off so that the other suffers more.
One last one, because I find it especially goofy: a scrappy teddy bear named Suffer, given to Emily by the talking rats, was replaced with...a Very Large Spoon, which gets its very own number in the musical. 🎵 The rationale was that Emily could use the spoon as a weapon in the climactic uprising against the Asylum doctors. Which, fair enough... except that, prior to being a cute and anachronistic 🔍 MacGuffin in the fictional Asylum story, Suffer the Bear had been a beloved mascot🪞 from the early Opheliac live shows. Some still remembered when EA had raised HELL, even starting a #FREESUFFER campaign on Twitter, because she thought someone had stolen Suffer from the stage (it later turned out that he had been misplaced in a flight case). All that noise back in the day... and now Suffer didn't matter anymore? The nerve. “She made shirts and everything!” 🐀
All this to say, reception was lukewarm. EA hadn't performed live since 2014 and the Devil's Carnival sequel had failed to make a splash (despite decent reviews, the franchise and main collaboration fell apart before the end of the promotional tour 🔍). People were checking out. There was only one way to correct this. A true paradigm shift. A fresh start – a new theme?
Hell no. It's another edition of The Asylum for Revisionist Tortureporn Friendfictions!

ROUND 4: THE E-BOOK & THE QUEST FOR THE SPOON OF ROYALS

In 2017, about a year after the audiobook release, EA self-published a digital version of TAFWVG through Amazon. The literary agent hadn't worked out in the end: publishers were put off by how dark the book was, even after the audiobook edits. EA explained that she hadn't been comfortable with some of the alterations in the first place; she respected the agent's input and had tried to give it an honest shot, but in the end, she wanted to do it the way she wanted to do it, solo... and this was it.
EA had reverted a number of the audiobook cuts (including swear words, mentions of abortion, and the narrator's age), but kept most of the changes to the Asylum narrative – namely, the omission of Former Friends Characters, and the romance between Emily and Veronica. In the newsletter announcement, she mentions being in the process of “re-recording the few little bits of the audiobook to reflect the current text version”. Not sure where we're at on that front; it's never been brought up again, and I don't think anyone's checked. (I assume most fans had war flashbacks when they read the word “re-record”, and instantly repressed that part of the communiqué.)
The “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries were still omitted in the first release of the e-book, but re-included as a coda soon after, by popular demand, under the title “Evidence of Insanity” – with fantastical “doctor's annotations” like“W14A seems to have disassociated her own identity, episodic, each lasting for a longer period of time. We suspect she will continue further in this – stronger medication is needed, schedule electroconvulsive therapy.”
A physical paperback edition was released a few months later; in anticipation of this, the e-book was a stripped-down, text-centric version of the story. (Honestly not a bad call, because the digital version from 2012 was a scanned, non-searchable, 1.3GB PDF behemoth – not super Kindle-friendly!) No elaborate backgrounds and color photographs in this edition, but the pages were still illustrated with inserts of rats, keys, teacups, and... hold on... ciphers??🪞
As always in the Asylum, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. In a throwback to the prelapsarian days of the Enchant Puzzle (remember? the one that no one ever managed to solve?), the e-book illustrations contained puzzles, which formed the master-key to... a scavenger hunt! And in keeping with tradition, the grand prize was an extravagant adornment hand-crafted by EA: the “Spoon of Royals”.🪞📝 Oh my!
Some of the puzzles are simple anagrams that can be solved for keywords. A clickable word within the adjacent text takes you to a password-protected link, which takes you through to an audio file – a song or an atmospheric instrumental that goes with that moment of the story. There are also more complex ciphers that decode into riddles. Each key depicted in the book has a number or letter engraved on it. The total number of rats in the book is apparently significant. One link takes you through to a blank page whose source code contains a list of coordinates from various bridges around the world.
Oh, it was a whole thing. When the book came out, you could send a picture of you doing EA's signature “rat claw” hand sign🪞 to request admission to a private Facebook group (the “Striped Stocking Society”) where people could help each other solve the clues and EA would occasionally pop in for a chat. There was also a series of mysterious newsletters in early 2018, culminating in a Los Angeles event where EA showed up in person to pass on extra puzzle-solving material to a handful of lucky fans (although said material raised more questions that it answered 📝).
Overall, it was a great idea! Although the fanbase was generally smaller and less active after four years without a new tour or album (and a fair amount of other drama, which we have yet to get into), the e-book puzzle did pique people's interest in purchasing yet another version of the same story.
Unfortunately, once again, EA overestimated either how intuitive her fans were, or how invested they would remain. After months of collaborative efforts across multiple platforms, a number of puzzles had been cracked 🔍, but it was still unclear how the individual anagrams and numbers and riddle-solutions all fit together as scavenger hunt clues.
EA kept up the hype for a while, but the few hints that she gave on social media only revealed yet more encryption factors without really helping fans connect the dots. One cipher remained unsolved on Instagram for days and days before EA caved in and hinted at which key to use. She did helpfully specify that if you didn't know how to read music, you'd better start learning. (...Was this a fun puzzle, or a prep school admission test?) The in-person LA event had also sown some confusion as to the rules and constraints of the game: would winning involve traveling to a physical location? That didn't seem very fair. EA had mentioned physically burying some items – but could you solve the puzzle from a distance? Is the Spoon of Royals literally just buried under the Shakespeare Bridge in Los Angeles, California?? 🐀
I'm just saying: if this had come up in 2008? People in corsets and platform boots would have been out there digging.
But this was 2018. As we've mentioned, the core of EA's active fanbase (a lot of whom had been teens and young adults when she was touring Opheliac) was fast aging out of the years when most folks have the spare time, dedication, or desire to essentially do super-involved homework out of love for their favorite singer. Uncovering new songs was a fun perk the first year – but after the new album came out in 2018, none of the passwords led to exclusive material anymore. It felt a bit lacklustre for something so labor-intensive.
(The new music itself wasn't a rallying point either. Behind the Musical was, quite literally, an intended vocal guide for the Asylum musical – so, basically a collection of demos. The sound was VERY Broadway Revival, somewhat Phantomish 🎵, in a way that's either good or bad depending on who's saying it. The violins, to fans' chagrin, sounded all-MIDI; no sign of actual instrumental recordings. EA sang all the parts herself, as she had on her previous album. I'm not saying there's no merit in a one-woman Andrew Lloyd Weber tribute. Many old fans enjoyed the new material well enough, some even really liked it – but most agreed that it just didn't hit like her earlier stuff used to, and that it felt rather unfinished.)
Unlike with the Enchant Puzzle, the prize itself was not much of an intrinsic motivation. While the Faerie Queen's Wings were a straightforward concept that evoked EA's own signature stage costumes, the Spoon of Royals was... a large spoon attached to a necklace, community-college-art-teacher style. It looked impractical both as a spoon and as a necklace, and more importantly, I'm not sure how many readers felt a deep emotional connection to the spoon in the story. The spoon that had usurped Suffer the Bear, no less!
In short: people gave up on the game because it was too hard, it came too late, and they had other things to do.
Thus, the Spoon of Royals remains unclaimed to this day, and I doubt I'll see anyone crack the puzzle in this lifetime. The Striped Stocking Society FB group was terminated in 2020, around the same time a bunch of fansites folded and EA closed her Instagram comments for the first time. By that point, both EA and her fans had bigger rats to skewer – but we have a ways to go before we reach that part of the story.
I would encourage you to give the puzzle a shot for the hell of it (in case you're a cryptography nerd and currently under house arrest or in a full-body cast) but... I just tried a bunch of the links, and the passwords don't work anymore. So I guess that's that. To quote old Bill by way of conclusion: “Much ado about nothing”.

ROUND TOO-MANY: I'LL SEE YOU ON BROADWAY OR I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL

So, what now? Well, not much.
By the late 2010s, what kept many fans semi-invested – if nothing else, because it clearly meant so much to EA herself – was the prospect of an upcoming stage musical adaptation. The way EA talked about it 📺, it was very much a “when”, not an “if”. Sure, ten years on, we were still collectively stuck in the Asylum, but it would at least be a new format – and a return to EA's main field of expertise, ie songwriting and performing. Not only did the core fanbase long for new music and new shows, but Fight Like a Girl and Behind the Musical had brought in small influxes of new fans who were very eager for any chance to see her live. So whether it was out of genuine enthusiasm for the project, or out of “let EA have her musical so we can maybe finally move on”, the fanbase was overall supportive.
Even though people still joked about the 2012 announcement of a “2014 West End debut” (seriously, what was she thinking?), EA had really buckled down in the intervening years, and it looked like the project was plausibly well underway. As in, we had more than just EA's word to go on: the involvement of other people, who did not reside in the Asylum, seemed to confirm that the musical was a thing.

[CONTINUED IN COMMENTS because Reddit is being ridiculous about the character count. I swear I was under 40,000!]

April 27, 2024
The controversial reality TV show known as ‘Kid Nation’, which borrowed its premise from Lord of the Flies, was cancelled shortly after its 2007 debut. Producers took 40 kids into a makeshift desert town to fend for themselves and create their own society. Was the series an opportunity to discover what kids are capable of? Or simply a ploy for ratings? With access to former ‘Kid Nation’ contestants, their families, and the show’s creators, culture journalist Josh Gwynn uncovers how this cult TV show became a lightning rod for an ongoing debate about the ethics of reality TV. Welcome to Split Screen, an examination of the utterly captivating, sometimes unsettling world of entertainment and pop culture. From reality TV gone awry, to the cult of celebrity, each season of Split Screen takes listeners on an evocative journey inside the world of showbiz. Ex-contestants, producers, and cultural critics uncover complicated truths behind TV’s carefully curated facades, and question what our entertainment reveals about us. Split Screen: sometimes reality is twisted. More episodes are available at: https://link.chtbl.com/-vGm-quA

You can listen to the episode on the web here.

Around 2006-2007, there was a blog that had mixtapes. There were a couple volumes, one with just covers and one with great songs. I want to say it was called the fragile or something like that. Some of the sounds on it were:

• Crazy in Love (cover)
• Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (maybe a cover or acoustic)
• Beautiful by Clem Snide (cover)
• Rabbit Fur Coat by Jenny Lewis

Does anyone remember this? I’m trying to find the playlists— they were great.
*they weren’t put together as individual songs that you could skip. It was just one long 40-45 minute MP3 sequence.

Think 2007 to 2010.
My parents bought be this MP3 player necklace. It had a silver chain, and the MP3 player itself was a black screen square with a thick-ish back and a silver frame. You could only upload songs by connecting to your PC and copying the songs onto it, and when you played songs, it would show songs with bit-type graphics. It was meant to look like “jewelry”.
I can’t find this device ANYWHERE online. Has anyone seen it?

Hello everyone! So back in 2008, Grateful Dead Records (via dead.net) released two full shows as digital downloads in both FLAC and mp3 formats. The two shows were: 11/5/79 and 11/6/79 (road trips 1.1 had previously used material from these shows when it was released late in 2007).
These road trips full show digital downloads were supposed to be a follow-up series to the original digital download series; however, only these two shows were ever released under this new series.
Does anyone have the FLAC/ALAC files for these two shows, and would be willing to provide them? I have some good stuff myself that I would be happy to provide in return. Thanks!

Under three weeks until Eurovision goes to Sweden for the 7th time, our countdown really starts to get to the meat and potatoes. We are now getting to the top half of the list, and with that we start to see more known ESC hits, which for me is very exciting! It has been a nice journey learning about the acts that have influenced each country at this contest, and may it continue into the top 30!

The Countries

Placement	Country	Score
28	Serbia	87081.981
29	Croatia	73990.339
30	Romania	73540.311
31	Bulgaria	71403.49
32	Armenia	69723.425

Sorry about the title, I meant to point to the fact that all of these countries end with -ia, and that they are all together results wise, which is pretty interesting. Just above Latvia (#33) is Armenia, who despite never winning, have steadily gotten results, as they have only NQ'ed 3 times in 15 attempts since they joined in 2006. Above Armenia is Bulgaria, who have quite the opposite results than Armenia, only qualifying 5 times since they debuted in 2005. But when they DO qualify, they have produced some of the best songs this contest has seen. Above Bulgaria (on this list and geographically) is neighbor Romania, who like their neighbor have left their mark on this competition, and even though they face financial difficulties today, at full strength they are a force to be reckoned with, with some top 3 placings to back it up. Inside the top 30 is Croatia, who don't have a top 3 in their history, but are only one of two countries here to host an ESC, and have one of my all time fav entries. They actually have only qualified 3 times in 11 years prior to this year's contest, but like with Bulgaria, cannot be counted out when they do qualify. And at the top here is the resident ESC winning country in Serbia***, whose history here is shorter than all the rest here, but have really impressed with their time, becoming a Eurovision darling with some of their entries and style.
** If you don't count the Croatian Yugoslav entries. ** Croatia hosted Yugoslavia's ESC in 1990.
*** Notice the gap between Serbia and the rest? Things will be REALLY serious soon.
Some Notable Artists: André (Armenia), Luminița Anghel (Romania), Monica Anghel (Romania), Aram Mp3 (Armenia), Maja Blagdan (Croatia), Danijela (Croatia), Bora Dugić (Serbia), Doris (Croatia), Equinox (Bulgaria), Alex Florea (Romania), Poli Genova (Bulgaria), Ilinca (Romania), Željko Joksimović (Serbia), Konstrakta (Serbia), Lado (Croatia), Lidija (Croatia), Kristian Kostov (Bulgaria), Magazin (Croatia), Iveta Mukuchyan (Armenia), Nicola (Romania), Nina (Serbia), Boris Novković (Croatia), Ovi (Romania), Marcel Pavel (Romania), Eva Rivas (Armenia), Paula Seling (Romania), Sistem (Romania), Jelena Tomašević (Serbia), Elitsa Todorova (Bulgaria), Marija Šerifović (Serbia), Sirusho (Armenia), Victoria (Bulgaria), Stoyan Yankoulov (Bulgaria)

The Worst Years

Romania 2023 Theodor Andrei - D.G.T. (Off and On)

Contest Ranking: DNQ (15th 2nd Semifinal) My Ranking: 36th (-1.9)
Yikes, what a disaster. Our first time talking about the most recent ESC, and it's because of Romania and their entry D.G.T (Off and On). But first, let's talk about the performer Theodor Andrei, who was able to turn this former duet of a song into one suitable to win the national final and compete in Eurovision. In some interviews, Andrei spoke out about how he wanted to send a song "never seen before" for Romania at ESC, as he wanted to mix several genres that both his countrymen and foreign listeners would enjoy. This man has the repertoire to pull it off, as he has a long history of acting and singing from an early age. Unfortunately, TVR (Romania's broadcaster), had different plans for Theo, as they not only rejected all of his ideas for staging, they also forced Theo to do a slower revamp of his song for Eurovision, as well as not give him any money for the staging at the contest. This contributed to a quite bizarre performance, one where he can be seen with a white... costume(?) flashing all over the screens. It's quite sad hearing about the troubles he had to deal with, because this song doesn't deserve to get ZERO points in his semifinal, joining the hall of "nil points" entries.

Bulgaria 2009 Krassimir Avramov - Illusion

Contest Ranking: DNQ (16th 1st Semifinal) My Ranking: 39th (0.627)
This one is a bit funny. After 4 years and only 1 qualification (finished 5th), Bulgaria would host a national final that had 14(!) events over the end of 2008 and beginning of 2009. At the end of all of the events, it would be a former pantomime, named Krassimir Avramov, that would represent the country in Moscow, quite controversially, I should add. It's funny that the offical ESC site says that Avramov has a "very rare and unique male voice", when so many people in Bulgaria took exception to his musical abilities when he won. They took SO much exception that there was a live debate on whether Krassimir should go to Eurovision or not! After all of that, Avramov and his "unique male voice" would preform his song in Moscow, and promptly exit after finishing third to last overall. I don't want to say the protestors were on to something, since I'm talking about this song in the Worst section, so I'm not going to, and I'll move on... ***
**Maybe they *were** onto something...

Croatia 2010 Feminnem - Lako je sve

Contest Ranking: DNQ (13th 2nd Semifinal) My Ranking: 33rd (1.553)
Now here's an act with some experience at ESC, with the girl group Feminnem representing Croatia in Eurovision with their song Lako je sve. They first competed in 2005 for Bosnia and Herzegovina, as both nationalities are represented in the group. That entry got 14th, a respectable finish, which lead to them trying to represent Croatia in 2007, to no avail. In 2009, they would try again to represent Croatia, but would fail again. It would only be in 2010 where the group would finally break through and get the chance to represent Croatia, a country whose performances were starting to slip as the 2000's were ending. With the chance to reverse their country's fortunes, they would... not qualify, kicking off a streak of 4 consequent NQ's. In fact, this entry would kickstart a bigger trend for the country, as mentioned earlier, they would only qualify 3 times in 11 years, and it all started with this song**.
** It should have started a year earlier, but Croatia's 2009 entry qualified through back up jurors despite finishing 13th in their semi.

Serbia 2013 Moje 3 - Ljubav je svuda (Љубав је свуда)

Contest Ranking: DNQ (11th 1st Semifinal) My Ranking: 29th (1.775)
Here we have another girl group making this list, this time it's Serbia with their 2013 entry. Serbia are quite efficient at winning this competition, as they have only failed to make the final 3 times like Armenia, so when they don't qualify, it's always a big shock. This group is made of a former ESC rep, as Nevena Božović was Serbia's Junior ESC participant in 2007. This group actually had to reunite, as before the competition the group broke up for their separate careers. And after this performance, they would break up again to resume said careers, due to the average age of this group was nineteen (19!). For a group that had an impressive individual resume, the only award they would receive that night would be a Barbara Dex award, and in the future another Serbian girl group would redeem Moje 3 with a storm...

Armenia 2011 Emmy - Boom Boom

Contest Ranking: DNQ (12th 1st Semifinal) My Ranking: 29th (1.799)
Of the three times Armenia didn't qualify to Grand Final, this one was the worst preforming of the bunch. For the contest in Germany, Armenia's broadcaster decided to internally select the performer this time, choosing what people consider one of the countries most popular singers in Emma Bejanyan, better known as Emmy. Emmy had a fast rise to stardom with her first song in the 90's, and she gained notoriety while touring with the all female quartet Hayer. The song she would sing is called "Boom Boom", which in theory would keep the Armenian "boom" in this contest, as they always made the Final prior to this year. In fact, they had never missed out on the top ten before this year, a feat in itself. Unfortunately, as Emmy came out onto the stage in a boxer's glove, this song would put a "boom" to Armenia's top ten and qualification streak, as this would be the nation's first non qualifier. Here's a fun fact: Armenia has only made the top 10 twice since this entry, so I guess this song was more of a "boom" than one would think... just not in a great way...

The Best Years

Croatia 1998 Danijela - Neka mi ne svane

Contest Ranking: 5th (131 pts) My Ranking: 5th (292.853)
For a country that technically has an ESC trophy (Yugoslavia 1989 was from Croatia), it is quite surprising to find that Croatia really haven't been able to replicate their 90's success. Their top three songs by (my) score are 1996 (197.392), 1999* (237.33), and this entry in 1998, "Neka mi ne svane", preformed by Danijela. We have ourselves a repeat performer! Danijela Martinović had her breakthrough in 1991, when she joined the band Magazin, who were a big band dating back to the Yugoslav days. In 1995, the band would represent Croatia's 3rd ever ESC entry, with the song "Nostalgija", which got the country their first top 10. One year later Danijela would leave the band to pursue her solo career, which lead her to win the Dora festival, which got her a ticket to the big dance in Birmingham for ESC '98!
I didn't know which song this was, but when I saw the black cloak over Danijela, I was like "Oh, it's THAT one." This song fits under the umbrella of the Balkan ballad, which for me always hit more than they miss. This one hits for me (shock)! I think that the quiet buildup at the beginning really pulls the viewer in, as it is only her voice that can be heard at the start. Then as the music swells and she hits the chorus, which feels like a nice reward for the viewer being invested for the beginning. I think the most iconic part of her preformance though was the costume change, as she discards her black robe for a clean white dress, which probably represents her moving on from her lover. Oh, I forgot to say this before, but this song is a love ballad (also shock). It's very interesting that Croatia sent in female ballads in their early days of ESC, and it's also very interesting that in back to back years, they would have two women in white dresses singing dramatic ballads**. It's also very intriguing that they would finish in similar positions, with less than 15 points separating them. Both of those songs represent a blooming time for Croatia, a time that they have struggled to get back to since, but maybe this year they can start to change that.

• MARIJA MAGDALENAAAAAAAAAAAAA ** Does "Marija Magdalena" count as a ballad?

Armenia 2008 Sirusho - Qélé, Qélé (Քելե, Քելե)

Contest Ranking: 4th (199 pts) My Ranking: 5th (300.409)
Armenia certainly came on to the ESC stage with some force! With their first five entries placing in the top ten, they already had a formula that translated very well. Of the first five, this was the one that placed the highest, finishing 4th, one of two times Armenia would enter the top five in their ESC history. What would be that entry? Probably one of the few highlights from an otherwise dull year in "Qélé, Qélé", preformed by Sirusho, also known as Siranush Harutyunyan, an Armenian born singer who, surprise surprise, blossomed onto the field when she was only nine! She already had awards for a Best Album, and for Best Female Performer, and was regarded as an Armenian icon when she was selected by AMPTV to represent the country in Moscow for Eurovision '09. The song she would sing was the overwhelming choice by the Armenian public, called "Qélé, Qélé", written by Siranush herself alongside Canadian producer Harout Arthur Der-Hovagimian.
Like I said earlier, 2008 was not the best year for Eurovision. The joke entries were at an all time high and not many songs from that year were memorable, even the winning song. But this song is not one of them! In fact I would say this song is one of the bright spots of Belgrade 2008, as it is very catchy and upbeat in its tone. I cannot help myself but to occasionally hum the chorus every once in a while, because it is one that really grows on you, and in a fun way as well! The energy of Siranush carries this song a long way, as she really belts out some of the lyrics. It also helps that she actually does what she says in the song, which is "Come qele, move qele". The whole choreography of the performance is very well done too, which is very important since there is not much in the background to occupy our eyes. I think what I'm trying to say is that this song is very well done, and it would have been a crime if it didn't finish in the top five! Despite the fact that according to my formula Armenia 2014 finished higher (4th), the points advantage ***just* goes to 2008 (by 3 points btw), and while I do like that entry, I think this one deserves its top spot at the top of the Armenian totem pole.
** Russia 2008 was a song that I did not like that much for a LONG time. So much so that I would agree that block voting was the only reason it won! Now today I don't think that, and the song has annoyingly grown on me, to a point where I wouldn't even call it a weak winner (barely).

Romania 2017 Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It!

Contest Ranking: 7th (282 pts) My Ranking: 5th (431.229*)
Years that end in 7 were very good for three of these countries. This is the first of the "20X7" babies with Romania topping their 2010 entry** with "Yodel It!", probably one of the most... unique songs I've heard at Eurovision, and that is saying a LOT. Meet Ilinca, aka Maria Ilinca Băcilă, who is a professional singer and... yodeler. I only pause there because it's rare to see yodelers on the professional stage. In fact, she's the only yodeler in Romania! But anyway, Illinca started singing when she was only 7, and in her early teenage years participated in The X Factor and The Voice. She also has done some opera, which makes sense considering the yodeling is not that far from opera, now that I think about it. Maria would be joined on the stage by rapper and singer Alex Florea, who has also competed in The X Factor when he was younger. Apparently he is also an actor, which is also neat, I think.
Knowing that one of the singers is a professional yodeler is one thing, but hearing it for the first time is another. This song seems a bit generic at the start, but that goes out the window when Maria starts yodeling... and it was at that point where this song would enter the ESC hall of randomness. You know, those entries that make you go "huh?" or laugh due to the nature of it. If you need any visual reminders, here's this(same year lol),this,this,this, and especially this (Oh man 2008 was more rough than I thought). But this one joins it for good reasons! The message of the song is quite simple, but with Maria's yodeling throughout the duration, I don't think that it was the focus anyways. The yodeling itself is quite impressive, but you expect nothing less from a trained opera/yodeler. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it was the reason this entry landed so high in the standings at the end of the night. Is it Romania's best placing, no, that would go to 2010 and 2005. Is it their most iconic? Well that comes to preference, for me that would go to 2010 (barely). But this is certainly a highlight for a country that has produced a surprising amount of.

• This song is ranked 54th of all songs since 1975.

** Another one of those ones that grow on you the more you see it! "You and me, can't you see we're playing with fire..."

Serbia 2007 Marija Šerifović - Molitva (Молитва)

Contest Ranking: 1st (268 pts) My Ranking: 1st (536.023**)
For Serbia, their ESC time has been relatively short and also really long compared to the other countries here. Of course they were part of Yugoslavia, but when the country broke down in the 90's, Yugoslavia eventually became Serbia and Montenegro and took part in two contests in the early 2000's. But when Montenegro broke away from the country in 2006, Serbia and Montenegro became... Serbia and Montenegro, but now they are two separate countries instead of one! The first time Serbia would represent themselves as a single country for the first time in 2007 in Helsinki, and they came in with a bang! Meet Marija Šerifović, born in the 4th largest city in Serbia, she made her recording debut when she preformed with her mother n TV in 1998. She grinded out two albums in the early 2000's, and in 2007 she would compete in Beovizija which was the national final for Serbia, in which she would win and travel to Finland for ESC 2007.
Even though non-English music is starting to really flourish now in ESC, it was a completely different picture in the 2000's, which was a product of the language rules and the juries/public shifting preference towards English songs. Since 1988, when Switzerland won for the second and at this point most recent time, 5/18 of the winners prior to 2007 sung in English or mostly English, including the last 8 contests, the longest such streak in ESC history until after 2007 to 2016, which was 9 straight English songs. So really since 2000 and up until 2017, there was ONE non English ESC winning song, which for me is quite remarkable. The only way a non English song could win in these times is that the feeling of the song would have to transcend language. And that is what this song does to a tee. Just like with "Lane moje", "Molitva" is a song that you can really feel the emotion of, no matter that one cannot understand the language. The passion in which Marija and the Beauty Queens sing their parts is nothing short of amazing. And since there isn't much in the staging with the performance, the audience can just focus on the powerful voices on display. There's no gimmicks, unless you count the moment when the singers hold hands, revealing a heart from the paint on their hands, just a well composed song sung beautifully. This entry deserved to win, despite the fierce competition that went on right after this song **, and it's quite remarkable that this year is the connecting tissue to make sure there wasn't a near 20 year gap between non-English songs winning at this contest, which probably helped this contest in ways we don't understand. Even though they haven't got back to the mountaintop since then, it is quite amazing that Serbia pulled *this** off on their first try as an independent nation.
** This song is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975.
*** I guess I can talk about it now, but to keep it brief, the more serious song, when done right to its abilities, will always trump the more silly goofy song at ESC in terms of voting, but both are needed at Eurovision due to the utility each adds.
*** And also because why not, Serbia 2022 is ranked 64th of all songs since 1975 ; Serbia 2012 is ranked 86th of all songs since 1975

Bulgaria 2017 Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess

Contest Ranking: 2nd (615 pts) My Ranking: 2nd (687.011**)
Up until 2017, Bulgaria had only qualified to the Grand Final twice, with both of those entries finishing in the top five. Talk about all or nothing! That is exactly the case with probably one of my favorite ESC songs ever, "Beautiful Mess" by Kristian Kostov. We finally have a non native person representing another country, as Kristian was born in Russia to a Bulgarian father and a Kazakh mother, with the latter being from a region bordering Kazakhstan. Kristian got a boost of fame from being on The Voice Kids Russia, where he was mentored by former ESC winner Dima Bilan. He would then go on to be in *The X Factor in Bulgaria, where he would finish as a runner up, but that was all that was needed to be signed to a record label, Virginia Records, release his debut single which would top the national airwaves, and release another single which would hit number one for over 3 months! So at only 17(!), he would get the chance to sing for Bulgaria in Kyiv, with his song "Beautiful Mess".
This song is an all time classic. It's one of those songs that would win easily in almost any other year, and it really comes down to how this song was produced and preformed (duh). The instrumental is probably the most underrated part of this song, setting the scene for a performance that feels emotional. When Kristian takes a break from singing, all of the horns (I think) flare up and it's so beautiful and great and wonderful and all of the other positive adjectives. The build up is great, the song feels like a ball of energy that releases after the first chorus, rebuilds, and then releases again in a ball of fire that engulfs everyone and everything, and it's so amazing. I haven't even talked about Kostov's voice, it's just magical. The range that he has, at only 17(!!) is incredible, and he is the bow on top of an sublime gift of an entry. I actually heard recently that the placing of the song was quite a letdown for Bulgaria, as many thought it would win. Apparently Kristian had a lot of pressure to win this competition, but Eurovision is not that straightforward. Even with that, this song probably WOULD have won if it wasn't for probably a once in a million (more like 1/49) song that managed to unite the juries AND the public, something that hasn't been replicated in this voting era. If this song came in 2016, it would have won*, if it came in 2018, it would have won, if it came in 2019, it would have won*. I feel like this song can stack up to MANY Eurovision winners, and in many of those cases it would come out on top****. Anyways, I don't think Kostov should be disappointed with this result, considering that it IS one of the Top 50 highest ranked songs of all time, and it is easily Bulgaria's best preforming entry ever. (It's incredible that a country could qualify so little times, but have bangers nearly every time it qualified!)
** This song is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975.
*** Wow another reference to Russia 2008, one more and I get a free donut!
**** It would have been close, Australia, Russia and Ukraine with this Bulgarian song would have been an INCREDIBLE battle to watch that year.
***** I only say that because of 2007, where the more joking entry (Ukraine), finished second to the more emotional serious song (Serbia)
****** Easily. Arcade (Netherlands) didn't win ANY of the juries or the public's vote. And while I like Norway and North Macedonia that year, I think this one would have pulled it off. I do agree that it may be a bit closer.
******* Last one I promise. For any year prior to 2007, the eras are too different to compare. I think this song would beat 2008, 2010, 2011, and 2013(?).

Final Thoughts

So another five down, getting ever so closer to the top 10 ESC nations! Do you think that Bulgaria should have won in 2017? (I think not just because of Portugal) Do you think "Molitva" deserved to win over Ukraine that year? (Also yes but I'm glad both songs are remembered, though one song is remembered a LOT more than the other one) Do you think that Croatia will get their own ESC trophy someday? (Heart says yes, but then I look at their recent history)

Thanks mostly to:
aerisweet
DeViliShChild
and others. Most links appear to work ok.
Dare Dieter - ATO Trvia - Dec 29 2006
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/26fit3bjg28201t/AAC070Hc4hR1nzLNPgPv8Qh2a?dl=0
MEWL Magic 8-B all text - 2013
https://pastebin.com/f7nP9QVc
Reddit: show member salary discussion May 2015
https://www.reddit.com/RoversMorningGlory/comments/37ah58/show_member_salaries/
JLR – Dudes on Dudes – 9 episodes – MP3
https://www.mediafire.com/?q5ub9upt69448c0,2f55bauy1etj7td,c2r5hmjt33r6c53,2bwezlq66o2y00z,ku2m76obmc6ur87,5r9nxyvj6vjqq68,49ytmttvdmhgye4,0ei14mh99wmecc3,mm3532mval5aq78
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/7m8tz5v5sqs0tuj/AABNtZFq29lb5HrkgGW49Xnma?dl=0
Alan Cox ft Chocolate Charlie - 12-16-2009 – 9 episodes – MP3
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/0ru2vg5wi8v26zz/AAA5ewAtizUivJEaE1dcoUQIa?dl=0
Rover Calendar Page Shots
https://imgur.com/a/iL5qygB
Aftermath with Dumb and Charlie (Unk year but old) – MP4 – Numerous
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/nqt9t81txnqtm20/AAD1TJCzSDdO7ubFakUKjDa6a?dl=0
Dare Dieter - Laxative Beer Pong - Jan 6 2007 – 4 episodes – MP4
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/oy66vutgz5m45bs/AACPH6qJ0JQTZ4qoYN8ROi4Ma?dl=0
Dare Dieter - Glass Bulb Suit - Jan 26 2007 – 3 episodes – MP4
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/r1abnmamxateta0/AAAFpVoCcfLpBbEBVaQSzZw0a?dl=0
Dumb and Charlie Experiment - Maxwell Fired – 6 parts – MP3
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/4nwskcxh9wkcp8v/AADuN9hrA1z_X7C_gb7WLtzAa?dl=0
Maxwell April 16, 2009 WMA
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/w1vxxp8f54nl3ja/AABEVaNcP2gC67YOzkeRWYwXa?dl=0
Maxwell September 4 2008 WMA
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/xtsjicbyfrx13fb/AAAwOs0H64DrsUT05v59xm8pa?dl=0
Maxwell January 9 2009 WMA
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/7jxsd2aztiijucy/AADlndtSeO25v0avH30KQDoza?dl=0
Alan Cox / Chocolate Charlie - 12-16-2009
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/0ru2vg5wi8v26zz/AAA5ewAtizUivJEaE1dcoUQIa?dl=0
Older RMG stuff in WMMS old YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@1007wmms/search?query=rover
Phillip De-Virginized at Bunny Ranch(2) Youtube – April 2011
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJjfee7r8bM
Phillip from Rochester Roverfest 2014 – Youtube – 5 min
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWzWDHhTKI0&list=PLdzK9Dunwnp2jHT9kXik3aXOHQ4Qx8B-H&index=4
Bo Matthews/et al Golf Outing – Aug 2009
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpPpGZm8PZA
Lots of stuff here:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1PPAe1G4uv8K1b-ofZTRHmUTaot4UPiKt?fbclid=IwAR18Ik14dTPJ7j0ui39kR1NkQ8a57waHNgOtUPNHK7Swj9BJ6s39inAEuH8
Teaser: Rover announces his breakup with Duji on air 12/19/08
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14b8d6sCKnNZWc63PU2_aVvxhz_L-0yIW?fbclid=IwAR18Ik14dTPJ7j0ui39kR1NkQ8a57waHNgOtUPNHK7Swj9BJ6s39inAEuH8
​
Another Dumb Show - 4/15/2024 - Issue #197 - 2:06:00 in; Inebriated Dumb talks about JLTammy/Dumb; well worth listening to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8ZLN4jo42w
YouTube "Dare Dieters"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLx1qJ6MqR793YAoE_QKUlqOHWxi9WSiIM
YouTube "Rover's Morning Glory [The Lost Tapes]" 57 Episodes, most short bits.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLx1qJ6MqR790VCxiCBvoPq8EGm8sG0BxT