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Remember to check our Ai Generator: CandyAI

I can feel myself slipping back into uncertainty in regards to my gender, and it occurs to me "am I just lonely?"
Pretty much all of my life, I've never felt a real sense of community. I've maintained zero contact with any of my friends since I graduated, and even when I was in school I would only ever see my friends *in* school. I would never get invited to hang out, and I could never bring myself to invite people to hang out (not that I could think of anything to do, anyways). Even to my friends, I was much too reserved, I never initiated conversations and would rarely speak of myself in any genuine capacity.
And now I'm just a shut-in. I may as well be a stranger to my own family, even though we live in the same household: we almost never hang out, except on rare occasions; I almost never leave my room, as I'm never given a reason to; we don't even have dinner together 99% of the time, and half the time dinner is just handed to me from the other side of my door. It's a very isolating life I lead, and I've always existed in this paradoxical relationship of always craving a sense of community but never allowing myself/creating the opportunity to get super close with people.
And now as I sit here, spiraling back down into self-doubt and confusion, I can't help but wonder, is it just a lack of proper socialization? Could it be that I just don't have anything to build off of because the amount of people I see and have any meaningful interaction with in a day probably averages less than one?
This isn't to say that I think all gender-stuff is social-related. There are signs within myself that I would probably prefer being a woman: I like womanly things (notably fashion), I like when online strangers treat me like a woman, I lament the fact that I'll never get pregnant, (small delve into some possible NSFW topics in the spoilered text, but I don't think it's enough to tag the entire post as NSFW) fantasizing about having sex as a woman feels infinitely better than fantasizing about having sex as a man, I sometimes imagine myself as a woman while doing mundane things, I am a woman in most of my general fantasies (including when I had an imaginary girlfriend (I mean, she's still there, but not nearly as much as she was)), that imagining and fantasizing of myself as a woman has always felt good, I am irrationally drawn to choosing feminine character models in video games (even in games where it doesn't matter and you don't even see the character 99% of the time, like Trackmania), and I felt joy when I initially started shaving. But, I don't necessarily hate being a man, I am mostly "eh" about it. The closest I have to what registers as likely dysphoria is the above-mentioned desire to be and depression from not being able to be pregnant, (see the above warning) discomfort when imagining sex-stuff happening to my dick (but some positive feeling when imagining sex-stuff happening to my non-existent vagina), a cold "I don't like it but it technically feels good" type of pleasure when I used to masturbate in the usual way (which had me thinking fondly of castration and chastity belts for a while. It's possible this was just burnout, tho, as I used to do it daily, like an addiction),and that feeling when I saw how flabby my man-boobs were when bending to shave my legs (but that could possibly instead be dysmorphia). It's also likely I'm majorly repressing my dysphoria, my mind more-or-less shouted as much to me near the end of the recently-ended couple-year period when I was in a near-constant state of daydreaming (the before-mentioned period when my imaginary girlfriend was a consistent figure in my life).
Writing this, I think, got me back out of my slump. Yeah, I think I would prefer being a woman. It's just easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt and uncertainty, which is why I'm scared to come out to my parents because I don't trust them to not make an entire encounter about it, which, knowing my personality, would just send me spiraling back into another decades-long confusion-era. No one's making this choice for me but me; it's not just a kink thing; it's not a "haha wouldn't it be rad if I had tits," I don't even care about tits. I just want to love and be loved as a woman; and, ultimately, isn't the goal of life to love and be loved?

Hi everyone, I need advice who is also a transgender girl, or sissy, and everyone who has ever had an orgasm by stimulating only the prostate with hands, toys, and not touched the cock or was in the chastity belt, I really want to get sissygasm for a long time, and have tried different ways, each of my orgasms is only using dildo, I have tried cumming a lot, and then not use the penis to get sissygasm, but I didn't succeed, And now I abstain from orgasms for more than a week, I don't touch the penis, and when I'm horny, I use dildo to relieve sexual tension, but even when I'm very horny, and I try to stimulate the prostate, I also tried to do it with my fingers, pressed and stimulated my prostate, at most, it's a very large amount of lubricant from the penis, or urine comes out of me. Who managed to do this, and who has experienced sissygasm or does it all the time, share your story about how you came to this achievement, many thanks to everyone who answers me in advance, it will be very much It is interesting to read, and I will answer you, and in the future I will share my successes!

Hi everyone, I need advice who is also a transgender girl, or sissy, and everyone who has ever had an orgasm by stimulating only the prostate with hands, toys, and not touched the cock or was in the chastity belt, I really want to get sissygasm for a long time, and have tried different ways, each of my orgasms is only using dildo, I have tried cumming a lot, and then not use the penis to get sissygasm, but I didn't succeed, And now I abstain from orgasms for more than a week, I don't touch the penis, and when I'm horny, I use dildo to relieve sexual tension, but even when I'm very horny, and I try to stimulate the prostate, I also tried to do it with my fingers, pressed and stimulated my prostate, at most, it's a very large amount of lubricant from the penis, or urine comes out of me. Who managed to do this, and who has experienced sissygasm or does it all the time, share your story about how you came to this achievement, many thanks to everyone who answers me in advance, it will be very much It is interesting to read, and I will answer you, and in the future I will share my successes!

Rikishi had been brawling backstage with the leader of the Right to Censor, Steven Richards. Steven had ambushed Rikishi after he was tired from his last match. The RTC had tried for a few weeks to “censor” Rikishi’s ass for the people watching but their plans were foiled every time. So, Steven had taken it upon himself to teach Rikishi a lesson. The rest of the RTC were gone for the night and the same went for Too Cool so neither men could rely on backup tonight.
Their brawl had taken them to the men’s shower room where Rikishi was gaining the upper hand. Rikishi eventually countered with some blows, pushing Steven against the one of the shower stall’s doors. With a strong side kick, Rikishi knocked Steven inside the shower stall. Steven hit the shower wall hard and the impact caused him to slump down and sit against the wall.
Rikishi caught his breath as he looked down at Steven, sitting there injured and vulnerable. Rikishi smiled as he thought of what to do next.
“You like your little censorship club, huh, Steven? Well now you’re going to join MY special club. That’s right, get ready to join Rikishi’s Kiss My Ass Club!” Rikishi announced.
Steven was too groggy to answer and all he could do was look up to see Rikishi unbuttoning the back of his belt. Rikishi then tossed his belt behind him and slowly began to pull down his thong. Rikishi savored the look of shock on Steven’s face as he teasingly pulled his thong down lower and lower. He lifted one leg up and then the other to pull his thong off. Steven was speechless as he looked up to see Rikishi naked save for his boots, necklace and pads.
Rikishi stepped further inside. The shower stall was big enough for one man so having Rikishi in there made things cramped. Steven had no way out. Once Rikishi was in front of him, he turned around to show Steven his thick bare ass, still sweaty from his previous match. Rikishi put his hands to the side walls of the stall so he can grip them for balance. He then gyrated his hips to taunt Steven. Steven was about to yell but it was cut off by Rikishi’s ass being thrusted into his face, slamming the back of his head against the wall.
Rikishi was giving Steven a bare-assed stinkface and he did not have the strength to push Rikishi’s ass off his face. He tried to but all he was doing was getting two hands full of Rikishi’s toned, tanned ass.
Steven was caught with his mouth open so he was tasting the musky sweat-drenched ass of Rikishi. It left a distinct taste and smell, one that was being left on Steven’s face. Rikishi grinded his hips so that even when Steven tried to turn his head away, Rikishi would always put Steven’s face between his cheeks.
Rikishi then played with Steven, moving his hips in an up-and-down motion, literally wiping his ass with Steven’s face. Steven’s face was so engulfed in Rikishi’s ass his nose was penetrating his asshole and his chin was getting slapped by Rikishi’s balls.
After a few seconds, Rikishi stopped his stinkface and turned to looked down on Steven. Steven gasped for air and tried to wipe the taste and smell of Rikishi’s ass off his face and mouth.
“Ugh! How can people like this!?” Steven asked.
“If you don’t like it at first, you learn to appreciate it over time,” Rikishi laughed. “But we’re not done yet.”
Rikishi then picked Steven up and pushed him against the wall. He undid Steven’s belt and yanked his pants and underwear down. Before Steven could react, Rikishi turned around and slammed his bare ass against Steven’s naked crotch. Steven involuntarily grabbed Rikishi’s ass in an attempt push him off but it did not work.
“You got to taste and smell how good my ass is but now you’re going to FEEL how good it is…” Rikishi teased as he grinded his ass against Steven’s crotch.
Steven closed his eyes and he pretended that Rikishi’s ass cheeks weren’t rubbing his cock right now. As soon as his cock was twitching, Rikishi was being filled with relish as Steven was being filled with regret.
“Don’t fight it Steven. It’s alright. This is a dream come true for some people,” Rikishi teased. “Just relax and think about someone you like.”
Steven kept his eyes closed and tried to think about someone other than Rikishi right now. His thoughts went to his faction, The Right to Censor, with one person in particular.
“Ivory…” Steven whispered. He remembered one time where he watched Ivory in a bikini contest and jerked off to her. And another time where he caught her undressing and savored the sight of her naked body. Steven would never tell her this out of respect and their vow of chastity.
“Come on Steven…come and get this ass…”
Steven recognized the voice not as Rikishi’s but as Ivory’s. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Ivory naked and grinding her ass against his crotch. His cock was now becoming more erect and once at full mast, ‘Ivory’ positioned herself so that Steven’s cock would slowly insert into her asshole.
Rikishi groaned and smiled as Steven was lost in his little world. The wake-up call he was going to give Steven was going to be worth every second.
Steven closed his eyes let ‘Ivory’ continue this pleasure. She bounced on and off his cock grabbing both sides of the walls to brace herself. Steven also started to rock his hips and pretty soon, he was fully fucking ‘Ivory’s’ ass.
Rikishi felt Steven grip his hips as he got lost in his fantasy. He was so lost that he didn’t notice his balls slapping against Rikishi’s. Rikishi’s asshole was just so tight and warm he just did not care. To Steven, he was giving Ivory the pounding of a lifetime.
“Oh Ivory…oh fuck…” Steven panted.
Steven could feel his climax approaching. He tossed his head back and held on for dear life as he came in ‘Ivory’s’ ass. After a few loads, he slunk back down and sat as he caught his breath.
His afterglow would be short-lived as he felt something long and firm slip into his mouth. He opened his eyes in shock: Rikishi had just shoved his thick cock into Steven’s mouth!
Steven, back in reality, now realized that he’s been pounding Rikishi’s ass this whole time. The anal sex had gotten Rikishi so erect and aroused that he needed to release desperately. Rikishi put one hand against the wall and another on Steven’s head as he thrusted in and out of his mouth.
Steven’s strength was sapped at this point yet he grabbed Rikishi’s thighs and tried to push him off. He struggled as he got a full taste of Rikishi’s cock and pre-cum. His fear and desperation increased as he felt Rikishi’s cock throb. He knew what was coming next.
Rikishi used both hands to grab Steven’s head and thrusted so deep that his balls were slapping Steven’s chin and his tip was touching the back of Steven’s throat. Rikishi didn’t care if Steven was trying to pry his hands off his head. After a few more thrusts, Rikishi finally came in Steven’s mouth. Steven moaned in an attempt to scream as he involuntarily swallowed several loads of thick cum.
Rikishi groaned as he pulled out, leaving a trail of cum on Steven’s mouth and chin. Steven hunched over and spat some of the cum that was in mouth but that would not take away the taste. He felt ashamed. Several months of chastity only to give in to the temptations of one man’s ass. The greatest ass in the WWE.
Rikishi recovered from his ecstasy and picked up his thong. He turned to turn on the shower head, letting the water fall on Steven. Steven looked up only to have Rikishi’s thong land on his head. He looked up to see Rikishi looking back on him, a trail of cum leaking out of his ass and down his thighs.
“Welcome to the club Steven. Oh, and I promise not to tell Ivory,” Rikishi laughed. Rikishi smacked his ass cheeks as he walked away, leaving Steven to shower in shame.

The opening to Not-Knowing: The Essays and Interviews of Donald Barthelme.

Let us suppose that someone is writing a story. From the world of conventional signs he takes an azalea bush, plants it in a pleasant park. He takes a gold pocket watch from the world of conventional signs and places it under the azalea bush. He takes from the same rich source a handsome thief and a chastity belt, places the thief in the chastity belt and lays him tenderly under the azalea, not neglecting to wind the gold pocket watch so that its ticking will, at length, awaken the now-sleeping thief. From the Sarah Lawrence campus he borrows a pair of seniors, Jacqueline and Jemima, and sets them to walking in the vicinity of the azalea bush and the handsome, chaste thief. Jacqueline and Jemima have just failed the Graduate Record Examination and are cursing God in colorful Sarah Lawrence language. What happens next? Of course, I don't know.

From Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

please be generous with her. pretty please. just give her a crumb of substance sometimes
I love “vestal is horny” jokes. I can take a joke i promise. It’s like every other meme about Occultist hitting the crit 0 bleed and Dismas shooting children on the spot or Reynauld committing mass larceny or whatever— it’s funny to flanderize people! I get it, I like it, and laugh at it. I’m just so tired of people dragging the “nymphomania” stuff into serious discussions about lore :/ so here’s my rant about it. (warning for incoming preachiness!)
Vestal is a very normal (allosexual) woman with a normal sex drive. There is NO indication that it’s an addiction or anything to be ashamed of.
I’ve seen people blame her for getting distracted from tending the Flame and using this to show how she has “no control over herself” and that her sex drive is consuming her. I hate this take because it’s exactly the mindset the Church would have imposed on her to make her feel ashamed about her natural impulses. She’s literally spent her life since childhood suffering through enforced chastity, knowing she would never be allowed to find love or even have a brief experience outside the convent walls. Hell, she’s not allowed to even see intimacy. That’s a terrible life to live, and when I’m not joking about it I definitely find it a tragedy. Seriously, imagine it yourself: you’re not allowed to see anyone in any kind of attractive light. Everybody dresses like-- well, like it's a convent. You’re forced to wear a chastity belt because you don’t own that part of your body any longer, the Church does, and the only bare skin you've ever seen is your own. If you’re caught touching yourself you’ll be tortured to death and all your friends will be dragged down alongside you.
In her backstory Vestal looked out of a window briefly and saw two people sharing something she would never be able to have. It’s not even guaranteed that it was sex— the way she touches her mouth implies the kissing is the part she longs for most. To her that scene of passion in the garden was a fleeting moment, a precious image, a memory that she would have held onto for the rest of her life to make the unbearable ache in her heart more bearable.
I mentioned this metaphor somewhere else: blaming Vestal for her actions here is like calling a man in a desert who drops everything for a drop of water an “addict”. The Church has guilted her into feeling crippling shame over her human impulses. When the Flame went out for just a second, she was tortured and her sisters were all starved to death, which is fucking insane and in NO WAY her fault. The Flame was definitely not as vital as the church made it out to be— the Light saved Junia’s life, and it continues to empower her even though she’s probably getting a lot more action now (hopefully!).
Sorry I’m so heated about this :( The themes of her story just hit very close to home for me. These old-fashioned, fantasy-Victorian ideas live on in the very real standards of purity that women are held to-- as if the urge for sex and the paralyzing power of beauty is not equally as powerful to women as to men. And I still see people genuinely defend the shame she feels and call her story "not traumatic", so I wanted to talk about why I feel that’s unfair. The jokes are hilarious but I don’t want to lose the underlying spirit of Junia’s character. People are pretty well able to define the difference between “haha reynauld steals things and doesn’t pay alimony” and “the crusader is a man deeply scarred by war to the point where he has abandoned the things that meant the most to him”, so i just hope people can see both valuable sides to Junia as well!!
Go back to making horny nun jokes now :3 Sorry if I made things too serious!

Epic spring cleaning. PayPal, e-Transfer, or cash. Local in Metro Vancouver-area for meetup, can also ship. Currently not open to trades, sorry.

Gun parts and airsoft-specific accessories:

• G&G AN/M18 red & yellow smoke grenade set ($50): SOLD!
  • Full metal, great for storing BBs, etc. Correct markings for an AN/M18. Soft import ban - get while you can.
  • Brand new, open box condition
• Matrix Model 7920-9 9Bang flashbang ($20): SOLD!
  • Polymer construction, great for storing BBs, etc. Soft import ban - get while you can.
  • Brand new, open box condition
• USGI Small Arms Sling (black)($15): SOLD!
  • Genuine US military issue, 2-point nylon sling meant for the M4
  • Brand new, sealed
• USGI Pistol Lanyard (OD green)($10):
  • Genuine US military issue, meant for the lanyard loop on the bottom of most pistols' grips, also used for the MX-991/U flashlight, M2 compass, etc.
  • Brand new, sealed
• NCStar 1911 clamp-on rail ($10):
  • Full metal, fits onto any classic-style 1911 with no rail (i.e. Marui Series 70, M1911A1)
  • Brand new, open box condition. never used. Does NOT fit KWC as the frame is too thick - this is why I never used it.
• UTG 400 Lumen Subcompact Pistol LED Flashlight ($30): SOLD!
  • Uses 1 CR2 battery, full-metal construction, ambi toggle switch, momentary/constant modes, quick-detach mount
  • Fits most pistols with a rail, made for real-steel firearms
  • Lightly used, never gamed
• Magpul PTS MOE M4 handguard ($20):
  • Drop-in replacement for standard Marui-type M4 AEG handguard w/ delta ring and cap.
  • Comes with 3 plastic rail sections - 2 sides and 1 bottom.
  • Gamed once. Good condition.
• AGM pistol optic rail ($10):
  • Full metal, allows for top, side and bottom rails on pistol - side rail is removable
  • Fits any pistol with bottom RIS rail and any slide height, including Desert Eagle
  • Never gamed, just used for display
• KJ Works M9 metal outer barrel ($5):
  • Full metal. Theoretically should fit any V1 Marui-type M9s/M92s
  • A bit of wear from taking it out of my M9, but still functional.
• RioRand Harris-style bipod (standard bipod/sling swivel stud mounted)($20): SOLD!
  • Full metal construction with rubber feet. Fully adjustable. Fits standard bipod/sling swivel stud. Can be adapted for RIS.
  • Only mounted once for display
• Element tan grippod ($10):
  • This one, if you get it, you have to slam the legs back up the grip with authority to keep it there like the real thing. Slam it hard. Fits RIS/RAS rails.
  • New, out of package condition. Never gamed.
• A&K KAC-style grip and rail cover panel set ($15):
  • 5 piece set - includes 1x standard vertical foregrip, 2x 11-rib rail cover panels, and 2x 2-rib rail cover panels. Fits RIS/RAS rails
  • Brand new
• Docter-style mini red dot sight (RIS-mounted)($25):
  • Comes with a sight cover for storage
  • Brand new, open box condition
• AGM rail-mounted red laser ($20): SOLD!
  • Full-metal construction, can fit pistols in addition to everything else with rails
  • Lightly used, never gamed
• BCM-style vertical grip ($5):
  • Fits RIS/RAS rails , a little ding on the screw from tightening, otherwise excellent condition
• UTG rail cover rubber grip panels ($5):
  • Covers RIS/RAS rails, rubbePVC construction, Made in USA
  • Used condition, needs cleaning, still works just fine. Free if you buy something else from me, just let me know if you want it!
• Element LaRue-licensed 30mm red dot sight mount($10):
  • Full metal, made for all 30mm tubed sights, specifically the Aimpoint M68 CCO/CompM2, quick-detach mount
  • Lightly used condition, never gamed
• Element QD 30mm magnifier twist mount ($10):
  • Full metal, made for all 30mm tubed sights, specifically the Aimpoint and EOTech type magnifiers, quick-detach
  • Lightly used condition, never gamed

Gear and other accessories:

• USGI Safariland SPEAR ELCS Deployment Kit ($900):
  • All in NEW unissued condition and in M81 woodland camo unless otherwise stated
  • All pieces are genuine US military issue gear, all made in the USA, this is THE kit issued to US SOCOM right before and during the initial operations in Afghanistan 2001.... "rare" doesn't even begin to describe some of the pieces here
    • 1x Storage Organization Device (OD green)
    • 1x Load Bearing Panel Set, (1 Left, 1 Right)
    • 1x H-Harness Panel Set, (1 Left, 1 Right)
    • 1x Shoulder Pad Assembly
    • 2x Pouch, General Purpose, Large
    • 2x Pouch, Ammo, M60/SAW, 100 Round
    • 4x Pouch, Ammo, M16/M4, 30 Round, Double
    • 2x Pouch, Ammo, 40mm, Single
    • 2x Pouch, Medical
    • 1x Pouch, Flashbang
    • 2x Cover, Canteen, 2 Quart
    • 2x ALICE Attachment Adapter
    • 1x Manual
• USGI American Apparel USMC MCCUU Coat (Small-Short)(MARPAT Woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus, Marine issue with the EGA emblem and branch tape
  • Excellent used condition
• USGI American Apparel USMC MCCUU Pants (Small-Short)(MARPAT Woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus, Marine issue with the EGA emblem and branch tape
  • Excellent used condition
• USGI UNICOR 1995 PASGT Helmet (Medium)(OD green)($400):
  • Genuine US military surplus - real Kevlar protection, supposedly stops 9mm
  • Comes with the M81 woodland camo cover, a cat-eyes reflective band, and an NVG mount
  • Working condition - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me). No cracks or dents.
• USGI MOLLE II Rifleman Pack with Frame (M81 woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus - part of the original overall MOLLE II infantry kit system of the late-1990s/early-2000s.
  • Working condition - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me), but has been taken care of as part of a Cold War display I had.
• USGI SDS MOLLE II Patrol Pack w/ stiffener (M81 woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Working condition - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me)
• 3x USGI SDS MOLLE II M4 mag pouch (double)(M81 Woodland)($10 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • It is marked as "double" as in it can hold two mags in a single slot, but it's a tight fit and, realistically, it's better used as a single mag pouch unless you stretch it out
  • Brand new condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE I M16A2 mag bandolier (6 mags)(M81 Woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE I system - great as a backup/extra mag keeper in your backpack or trunk
  • Good condition
• 17x USGI SDS MOLLE II 40mm HE grenade pouch (single)(M81 Woodland)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• 2x USGI SDS MOLLE II 40mm HE grenade pouch (double)(M81 Woodland)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• 2x USGI SDS MOLLE II 40mm pyrotechnic pouch (double)(M81 Woodland)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II squad radio pouch (M81 Woodland)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Good condition
• 2x USGI SDS MOLLE II sustainment pouch (M81 woodland)($10 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE I rucksack set (goes on the sides of the ruck)
  • Fits 2 MREs and many other things - it's a large pouch
  • Good condition
• USGI Handcuffs and SDS MOLLE pouch (M81 woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus, add-on to the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II USMC E-Tool Pouch (M81 Woodland)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system, meant for the standard folding shovel/e-tool
  • Good condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II canteen/NVG/general purpose pouch (M81 Woodland)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Good condition
• USGI Camelbak Storm MOLLE I 3L hydration carrier (OD green)($20): SOLD!
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • This is also designed to fit INSIDE the patrol pack above
  • Working condition, a soldier named "Miller" wrote his name on it - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me)
• USGI SDS MOLLE II Ka-Bar knife sheath adapter (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant as an add on to the MOLLE I package, fits the classic KA-BAR, M7/M9 bayonet, and issued machete scabbards/sheaths
  • Good condition
• 2x USGI SDS ALICE adapter (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE I system
  • Good condition
  • Free with the purchase of any MOLLE gear, just ask beforehand!
• USGI Blackhawk! RACK MOLLE Motorola SABER radio pouch (M81 woodland)($40):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the Ranger RACK system
  • Brand new condition
• USGI Blackhawk! RACK MOLLE AN/PRC-126 radio pouch (M81 woodland)($40):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the Ranger RACK system
  • Brand new condition
• USGI Point Blank Interceptor OTV throat protector (M81 Woodland) w/ ballistic insert ($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus - meant to attach to an OTV (Outer Tactical Vest). It comes with the ballistic insert that is supposed to be real NIJ Level III protection.
  • Good condition
• USGI Bijan's Elbowpads (Medium)(M81 Woodland)($25):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Brand new condition
• USGI Bijan's Kneepads (Small)(M81 Woodland)($25):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Brand new condition
• USGI Fulton MX-991/U flashlight (OD green)($15): SOLD!
  • Genuine US military surplus, comes with red and IR lenses, runs on 2 D-cell batteries
  • Brand new condition
• USGI 1 quart canteen (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Never used, but outside has some scratches due to storage
  • Free if you buy the canteen pouch above! Just ask.
• USGI ALICE compass pouch (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the old ALICE kit
  • Brand new condition
• USGI ALICE AN/PVS-7 Night Vision Goggle pouch (OD Green)($30):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Good, used condition
• 3x USGI Fireforce ALICE 9mm pistol magazine pouch (OD Green)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Good, used condition
• USGI Bianchi Modular Assault Drop-Leg Panel (OD Green)($25): SOLD!
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant to fit the M12 holster, but also any MOLLE or ALICE pouch or holster
  • New
• USGI Bianchi M1415 Thumb Break Conversion (OD Green)($15):
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant to replace the flap on the M12 holster with a simple quick-unsnap strap
  • New
• USGI Camelbak Thermobak 3L (M81 Woodland)($25):
  • Genuine US military surplus, sort of a late add on to MOLLE II, but it has no PALS webbing - it's designed to be loosely worn over chest rigs and plate carriers
  • Good used condition
• USGI USMC Lightweight Helmet (LWH) helmet headband replacement (large)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, replacement part for the USMC LWH helmet, although it is backwards-compatible with PASGT
  • Brand new condition
• USGI M183 Demolition Charge Assembly satchel bag (OD green)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • New condition, but from the 70s
• USGI Lightweight Combat Desert Boot (Size 8.5W)($50): SOLD!
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Lightly used condition
• USGI PASGT Helmet liner band replacement (Medium)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, comes with 4 retaining clips
  • New
• USGI IFAK Insert (OD Green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant to hold the standard medical kit but is also a great, durable waterproof case that can protect phones and such
  • New
• Rothco Commando Sweater (small-regular) ($10 each):
  • One green, black and blue each available. Used surplus
• Rothco DBDU desert chocolate-chip camo BDU shorts (Small-Regular)($5):
  • Used, but fair condition
• Blackhawk! US-made nylon tactical belt (black)($15): SOLD!
  • Brand new condition, fully-adjustable
• KA-BAR 1216S Kydex sheath for KA-BAR USMC (black)($10):
  • Brand new condition
• USGI GS/FRP-2 Nomex Summer Flyer's Flight Gloves (Size: 8)(OD green)($15):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Size 8 which is small/medium more or less
  • New condition
• Condor MOLLE shoulder stop (desert tan)($5):
  • For those who like to put the buttstock of their long gun closer to their chest (popularized in the 2010s by some tactical training schools). Also works fine as a sort of grip pad for various uses.
  • Brand new, no tags. Never gamed.
• Condor MOLLE Padded War Belt (desert tan) ($10):
  • Fits all sizes. Brand new, no tags, Never gamed.
• Condor BinoculaLarge General Purpose MOLLE Pouch (black)($5):
  • Excellent used condition
• 3x Condor 20rd M16 mag/Small General Purpose MOLLE Pouch (black)($5 each):
  • Good used condition
• Warrior Cordura 1 qt. Canteen/NVG MOLLE pouch (DCU camo)($5):
  • Brand new
• 2x Condor 20rd M16 mag/Small General Purpose MOLLE Pouch (grey)($5 each):
  • Brand new
• Condor IFAK/Medium General Purpose MOLLE pouch (OD green)($5):
  • Excellent used condition
• Condor Cellphone/Electronics MOLLE Pouch (OD Green)($5)
  • Brand new
• Phoenix Industries Velcro Admin MOLLE Pouch (OD Green)($5):
  • Brand new
• Condor 2x 30rd AK mag + pistol mag pouch (OD green)($5):
  • Brand new
• 4x Condor MOLLE Mod straps (OD green) ($5):
  • 2x 4" and 2x 6" pieces
  • Attaches anything to your MOLLE panels
  • Brand new
• Propper boonie hat (OD green, Size 7)($10):
  • Brand new, no tags. Never gamed.
• Rothco MICH 2000/ACH Helmet Cover (M81 Woodland w/ Velcro)($5):
  • Brand new, no tags. Never gamed. A bit folded from storage
  • Uses C-cell batteries (included). Comes with 4 different coloured lenses. Decent brightness for it's design - it's a classic design dating back to the Vietnam-era. Incredibly long runtime.
  • Excellent condition. Carried in games a few times but never used
• Grappling hook set w/ rope ($25):
  • Comes with a black MOLLE pouch
  • Brand new
  • Comes with a black MOLLE pouch
  • Brand new
• Grappling hook set w/ rope ($25):
  • Comes with a black MOLLE pouch
  • Brand new
• MTech MT-A845BK Folding Knife ($10): SOLD!
  • Comes with a seatbelt cutter and window breaker, stainless steel, spring-assisted
  • Brand new
• Cold Steel Rubber M9 Bayonet ($10):
  • Rubbeplastic construction, fits on M4, M16, and any other rifle as long as it has the compatible hardware, namely the bayonet lug and flash hider (i.e. the one found on the STANDARD M4 with the fixed front sight and birdcage flash hider)
  • Great for close-in encounters on the field or martial arts training
  • Brand new

Timestamp: https://i.imgur.com/1mXpLTT.jpg
Album: https://imgur.com/a/za2o7Ef
Prices are shipped, taking offers and can do bundle deals!
Upper - $215 - Sold to GunmanMississippi
-Aero M4E1 Upper
-Aero Atlas S-One 15"
-Faxon 16" Gunner Barrel (~1500rds)
-VG6 Birdcage Muzzle Device
-Magpul MBUS Pro Offset Sight Set
G-Code
-GCA76 Drop Leg $40
-Pouches (Belt loop mount) - $30 for all 3, no splits!
T-Rex - Sold to hanyh2
-Ragnarok Holster (TLR7A/Glock Gen 1-4, Right Hand) $50
Safariland
-Safariland 7377 (Right Hand) - $35
GBRS -Sold to GunmanMississippi
-GBRS Assaulter Belt V2 (OD Green, S/M) - $125
UF PRO
-Striker XT Gen 2 (34/32) (Brown Grey) - $140
-P-40 All Terrain Gen. 2 (34/31) - $75
Defense Mechanisms -Sold to GunmanMississippi
-Dump Pouch (OD Green) - $25

Every sin is combatted with a virtue, and usually one put into practice.
When you want to purify yourself of gluttony, you simultaneously practice modesty in food.
When you want to purify yourself of pride, you simultaneously want to do acts of humility.
When you want to purify yourself of greed, you likewise want to practice generosity, perhaps giving alms.
But what exactly is an outward practice of chastity?
So far I've thought of 2:
* Studying Divine Law and coming to a great knowledge and love for God's ethics on sex
* Works of Mercy towards prostitutes, whatever form this may come in.
Any thoughts? You just don't find really a lot of exterior practices of chastity other than maybe the... chastity belt, lol. But I always thought that was like a meme. Or perhaps I am mistaken and simply cultivating chastity is the purification of the sin itself.
Thoughts?

On Wednesday afternoon, as I walked back to the English department building from The Corner Cafe’ with Neil’s coffee, I mentally went through the various steps I had read on-line about how to curtsy. I planned to practice later in my office as well as that evening after Brooke and Luke went to sleep. Brooke had given me a new pair white lace fashion tights that morning that I wore under my khakis. The nylon and lace combination against my skin made me feel especially submissive. And I was still wearing the damned choker for the third day in row.
I decided that women’s tights were not designed for long walks; I had to keep pulling them up and adjusting them as I walked (as inconspicuously as possible).
Neil’s door was open when I walked up. I looked around the hall to see if anyone saw me bringing in the coffee (not that they would know it wasn’t mine, although I was not known to be a big coffee drinker — I tended to favor tea or even Diet Coke for my caffeine).
“Hey, pal.”
“Hi, Neil. Here’s your coffee. I also got you a blueberry muffin. I figured you’re not an a diet, so I thought you might enjoy it.”
“Thanks. Muffins are full of carbs and empty calories. But I did swim laps for an hour this morning, so I guess it’s okay. You didn’t have one, too, did you?”
“Are you kidding? I had an apple.”
In fact, I ate my apple sitting across the table from Brooke as she enjoyed the toasted everything bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon I had prepared for her, my stomach growling. I wondered if Neil would offer to repay me for the coffee and muffin. He didn’t, that day or in the future, which surprised me. I continue to genuinely like Neil, although many things about him have turned out to surprise me. Perhaps he thought that not paying me back was all part of enhancing my knowledge of masochism or something.
“Good man. Well, we should probably close the door so you can get started.”
I closed the door. His office wasn’t very large so there was only a small area next to his desk chair for me to work.
“What if someone just comes in?,” I said.
“Everyone always knocks when the door is closed, especially when the light is on. But even if someone did, it’s not like you’re giving me a blowjob.” He laughed. “It’s just a foot massage, no big deal.”
Objectively that was true, I suppose, but I felt that was easy for him to say, as the recipient of the massage. Foot massages were happening in nail salons, spas and massage parlors throughout the country at that very moment, without any suggestion of impropriety or anything sexual. Still, at least to a masochist like me, there was just something so fundamentally submissive about the act of kneeling in front someone and massaging the lowest part of their body. Call it the dirty mind of a masochist, I guess.
And sure enough, as I got down on my knees in front of my colleague, my cock began to throb in its cage. At times such as this, I was actually grateful to be locked up. I looked up at Neil, waiting for him to take off his brown, leather shoes (Rockports, I believe). But, as he made no move to do so – I guess Luke had conditioned him to expect the full service treatment from me – I untied his laces and removed his shoes. Meanwhile, he munched on his muffin. More stomach growls of envy from me.
“Would you like me to do the massage with your socks on or off?”
“Oh, definitely off. Just the way you did it at your place.”
I removed his socks and began doing some warm-up twists, and then rubbing the arch of his right foot. While Neil’s feet did not have the chiseled appearance of Luke’s, they were not unattractive for male feet – although they definitely could use some moisturizer. I made a mental note to bring some with me next week (as much for my own comfort as his).
“Man, that feels good.” he sighed contentedly. “Three back-to-back classes are killer.”
Neil and l actually had a pleasant conversation as I worked on his feet. We spent some time discussing my book. For my chapter covering 19th and 20th century fiction, I wanted his insight on Patrick Hamilton’s novel, Hangover Square, which, while not overtly about cuckolding, was certainly about a serious male masochist. Hamilton’s protagonist essentially becomes a simp to a manipulative failed actress who he is in love with and her fascist boyfriend. Suffering from dissociative identity disorder (and alcoholism), he eventually goes on a murderous rampage against his tormentors.
Some readers of my tale may either needlessly worry, or foolishly wish, that I will go on a murderous rampage against Luke and/or Brooke. That, of course, is beyond preposterous. First, I am not mentally ill. Second, I love Brooke and, but for erotic and obsessive love, I know that she loves me. Third, the relationship I have entered into with Luke and Brooke is one I pledged to do as a condition of marrying Brooke and keeping her in my life. I did it with full free will; I stay in it with full free will. Fourth, I have enough self awareness to know that another reason that I stay in the relationship is because it satisfies some deep masochistic need in me. Brooke saw this need in me before I saw it myself (I’ve always known that she is far smarter than I). Some no doubt believe I am totally devoid of self respect and despise me for my passivity, for not taking dramatic steps to end my subjugation. I would counter that someone who resorts to violence is far more pathetic and lacking in self respect than I.
Paul and Anna are a somewhat different story, as there is an element of coercion involved. But violence as a remedy is still unthinkable to me. And I have to admit that, like Brooke, I too have been caught up in “the game.” My brain is my biggest sexual organ by far (it doesn’t have much competition, admittedly), and I’m excited (both sexually and intellectually) to see how far they will take things. You probably have to be a masochist to understand...
To those readers who are sincerely worried about me and my mental health, I say: thank you, I genuinely appreciate your concern. One never knows for sure, but I think that I’ll be okay. To those handful of judgmental readers who loathe me because I’m not doing what they believe they would do in similar circumstances, who despise me because I don’t conform to their oversimplified concept of manhood – you know who you are – by forcefully taking matters into my own hands in some dramatic manner, I say: get over yourselves. I am not you; I’m me. And I’m probably more of a man than many of you are even when I’m dressed in a garter belt, stockings and a maid’s cap, trying ineptly to curtsy to my superiors. But I digress.
Neil and I also discussed his upcoming tenure process. I assured him that he would have my full support in the consultation and subsequent letter of recommendation. I had just wrapped up his 45-minute massage with gentle squeezes to the tips of each of his toes and was about to put his socks and shoes back on his feet when there was a knock on the door. I quickly stood up and stepped to the other side of Neil’s desk.
“Come in,” said Neil.
The door opened and Paul Betz walked in. Neil’s feet were under his desk, but his shoes and socks were lying in plain view on the floor next to him. A bit odd for a cold December day. Knowing Paul as I was beginning to, I was fairly certain that it did not escape his attention.
“Hi, Professor Lawson. Professor Rollins,” he nodded at me, with a faint smile.
Hi, Paul,” said Neil warmly.
“Hi, Paul. I was just leaving,” I said.
“See you later, pal. Thanks a bunch,” said Neil, as I left the room.
Luke was back Wednesday night, and was actually in an unusually good mood, having signed a letter of intent to acquire a company in Indiana, the next frontier of his expanding empire. I cooked them grilled salmon, asparagus and wild rice, while I had a few pieces of salmon in my salad.
As I served Luke a third Yuengling and Brooke a third glass of wine, Luke said, “That was a damn good dinner, prof. I tell you what. I’m in such a good mood tonight, I’m going to let you have a glass of wine so we can all toast my new deal. Get yourself a glass.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
After I filled my glass with Pinot Gris, Brooke raised her glass and said, “To Hanover HVAC and Plumbing!” After we clinked our glasses, she said to Luke, “Ok, babe, it’s been three days, and I’m hornier than hell. Take me upstairs now, please.”
“Hold your horses, baby. Let’s finish our drinks first.”
Brooke downed her glass and said, “Okay, I’m done.”
“Think of your husband, here. He finally gets to have a drink with us and you’re rushing him.”
“Since you’re in such a good mood, babe, maybe he could join us – in bed. What do you think?”, Brooke asked him.
“Why not? Cuck, do you have any boxer shorts left?”
“Walter only wore tighty whiteys before I made him switch to panties and tights. I only let him keep two pairs of his old underwear.”
“Go, put on your tighty whiteys, prof, and we’ll meet you in the bedroom. You can take your glass of wine with you.”
Well, this was different. I went upstairs and undressed, removing the fashion tights I had been wearing all day under my pants, and put on a pair of my old underwear.
When they came upstairs, Brooke started laughing loudly when she saw me. ”I’m sorry to laugh, Walter. It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve seen you in men’s underwear. Even those. It just doesn’t seem natural.” I had to admit, it did feel strange wearing them after all this time. Still, the humiliation of Brooke’s words (and her accompanying smile) caused my cock to throb.
“Kneel down and get the key from Brooke’s anklet and I’ll unlock you.”
I did as he commanded, growing instantly hard the moment he unlocked me and tenting out my tight, white cotton briefs. Meanwhile, they both stripped as well. Luke was completely naked and Brooke was naked except for a pair of white ankle socks. As much as I loved her bare feet, it was incredibly sexy to see her wearing only the socks (and the anklet). Brooke then spread lubricant all over Luke’s hardening cock as she kissed him passionately.
Luke next ordered me to lie down on the bed, and easily picked Brooke up, placing her on her knees over me at the edge of the bed. To be more precise, she faced the other direction from me and her vagina and lovely bottom were right above my neck. Standing next to the bed, he then penetrated her anally, his cock and scrotum inches above my face, causing her to moan.
“Lick my balls, cuck.”
I began licking his balls as he went in and out of Brooke. As she rocked back and forth, she used one of her hands to pull my briefs down, so that her long hair brushed tantalizingly against my liberated cock. It was a wonderful feeling. At one point, Luke pulled completely out of her, and placed his wet, glistening cock in my mouth for me to suck. I couldn’t tell if the evident moisture was the lubricant, Luke’s sweat or Brooke’s anal secretions; it was probably some combination of the three.
I was my usual conflicted self as I took him in my mouth. Humiliated, certainly. Disgusted, no doubt. But also incredibly aroused, and somewhat grateful to be included to this degree in their intimacy – which was highly unusual.
My arousal only increased when Brooke said, “Keep him hard for me.” Following her command, I sucked him with increased fervor.
Whereas I often suffer from premature ejaculation, Luke is the complete opposite. He has the ability to go on and on, and then go on longer. It leaves me in awe, to be honest. Whatever I think of his personality, his character, his politics, his taste in music, etc., I can not help but be in awe of his physical prowess and dominance. I told myself, this man, this cock – which gives my wife so much pleasure, which fulfills some primal need of hers – is worthy of worship, so you better suck it up. Figuratively as well as literally. And that’s what I did.
He next ordered me to get on my knees next to the bed. Reaching his arm under Brooke’s waist, he flipped her over like a ragdoll onto her back, and entered her vaginally.
As if reading my mind, she said, “Yeah, baby, I’m your fuck doll.”
“Lick my fuck doll’s feet, cuck.”
From my knees, I licked her feet all over, listening to her moan in ecstasy as he moved in and out of her. Because of his good mood, perhaps, Luke was less brutal with Brooke than usual. He was forceful, of course, but there was no slapping and only a little hair pulling and nipple twisting. He did tease her, however. Even though I had counted at least three orgasms, I believe she was on the precipice of her fourth, when Luke pulled out of her. He hovered above her, his cock just outside of the threshold of her pussy. She thrust her pelvis up towards it, but he lifted himself still higher, denying her.
“Please baby, I’m so close.”
“You’re are a greedy, little slut, aren’t you?”
“Yes, baby, I’m your greedy, little fuck doll. Please baby, please put your glorious cock back inside me.”
“But you’re getting your feet licked. What about me?”
“Walter! Lick his feet! now! Please baby, please give me more.”
I started licking Luke’s left foot, hanging off the edge of the bed, with the same intensity I had applied to Brooke’s a moment earlier. He continued to tease her, however, inserting the tip of his cock into her and then stopping.
“Oh, gawd, Luke, please. I’m begging you.” She sounded on the verge of crying.
“I don’t know, babe. Maybe if my toes were being sucked, that might motivate me.”
“Walter, suck his toes!”
So, I did, of course. Luke was clearly enjoying the power trip of tying Brooke’s pleasure to my debasement.
Suddenly, he ordered her to get up from the bed. He then sat down on it, and instructed her to sit down on his cock, but facing outwards towards me, so that her legs basically rested atop his.
“Lick your wife’s pussy.” Following his command, I licked her just above where she bounced up and down on his cock, again grateful for the intimacy. Grateful to be included, even in my subservient, supplemental role as oral servant. After she screamed out in what was obviously yet another orgasm, Luke commanded me, “Now lick my shaft.”
After another five minutes or so, during which I dutifully licked him, Luke lifted her off him, stood up and – finally ready to ejaculate – pumped his semen prodigiously onto Brooke’s face.
“Time to kiss your wife, prof.” Which I did, our lips touching through Luke’s mess.
After I cleaned up and the three of us showered, we all watched a thriller on cable, the two of them curled up together on the couch, eating the popcorn I had made. I lied down on the floor at their feet, eating my own bowl of popcorn, occasionally feeling Brooke’s socked foot tousle my hair. All in all, one of the most pleasant evenings the three of us had ever spent together – at least from my perspective. Little did I realize at the time that that would be the last time three of us would spend together for awhile and that it marked a turning point in our – or, to be more precise – in Brooke’s and Luke’s relationship.
That night after they went to sleep, I practiced curtsying in front of the mirror in my bedroom in the basement. Tomorrow was to be my first extended service to Paul and Anna, apparently with my other student, Kelly, and her boyfriend as their guests. The next step in my ever widening public humiliation.
Whether he simply forgot, in the glow of his good mood, or was feeling particularly generous, Luke did not lock me back up that evening. I rubbed myself through my panties as I lay down in bed that night, too timid to actually masturbate lest Luke suddenly realize what he had overlooked.
The combination of my unsatisfied arousal and my anxiety about the next day prevented me from sleeping well that night. Luke was already gone when I woke up the next morning. Brooke was still asleep when I brought her cup of coffee up to the bedroom. I noticed my chastity cage on the floor next to the bed, and quietly took it downstairs to my bedroom, hoping she would forget about it.
She, in fact, did. It is testimony to how muddled my brain had become that I thought that was a good thing at the time. Normally, it would have been, of course. But it wasn’t until the snarky doorman gave me permission to go upstairs – after again announcing myself as the maid – that I realized how fraught with potential danger my situation really was. Because on our prior two meetings, my cock had been locked safely away. This time, I belatedly realized, my cock would be available as another toy for my students to play with, a toy they could use to control and humiliate me like they never had before.
And that, too, is exactly what they did.

Wednesday May1

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Brooklyn Paramount	Belle & Sebastian + The Weather Station	8pm, SOLD OUT
Baby's All Right	Porridge Radio (solo)	10pm, $15

Thursday May 2

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Baby's All Right	Lime Garden + Starcleaner Reunion	7pm, $20
Our Wicked Lady	Show Brain Punk Island benefit feat. T!LT + Abbie Roper + Caitlin Starr + Crusasis	8pm, $15
Purgatory	Puppy Angst + Trinket + Bummer Camp + Dogs on Shady Lane	8pm, $15
TV EYE	The Lemon Twigs + Thee Smashing Times	8pm, SOLD OUT
Union Pool	A Benefit for UNRWA feat. Sidney Gish + My Wonderful Boyfriend + Pearjuice	8pm, SOLD OUT

Friday May 3

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Washington Square Park	Vincent Blackshadow + Mary Shelley + Maya Lucia + Caitlin Starr	3pm, FREE
Baby's All Right	PACKS + Why Bonnie	7:30m, $20
Bowery Ballroom	SINKANE + Midnight Magic	9pm, $35
The Broadway	Pamphlets Take Your Place album release show + Colatura + Sharkswimmer	8pm, $15
Brooklyn Paramount	The Decemberists + Ratboys	8pm, $61
Brooklyn Steel	Panchiko + Weatherday	8pm, $35
Music Hall of Williamsburg	SlothrustOf Course You Do 10 yr anniversary + Weakened Friends	9pm, $25
Our Wicked Lady	Rights of Spring Day 1/3 feat. Bitterjoyride + Eevie Echoes (& The Locations) + High Waisted + Abbie Roper + Wetsuit + Avatareden + T@b Grrrl + Iceblynk	7pm, $25
Union Pool	Chastity trilogy tour - 3 records in 66.6 minutes	8pm, $15

Saturday May 4

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	NCF presents Summer Saturdays feat. The Answers In Between + The Overhead Bins + yael s. copeland + Rat Palace + The Fictionals	2pm, FREE
Brooklyn Steel	Ra Ra Riot + Low Hum	8pm, SOLD OUT
Forest Hills Stadium	SESSANTA: A 60th Birthday Celebration for Maynard James Keenan feat. Primus + Puscifer + A Perfect Circle	6pm, $70
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Maxband record release show + Landowner + Docents	8:30pm, $15
Our Wicked Lady	Rights of Spring Day 1/3 feat. Gocco + The Canvas Collective + SORRYNOTSORRY + Debbie Dopamine + Wifeknife + The Martyr + Sex Fixx + Barnaby + Kalen	7pm, $25
The Rooftop at Pier 17	Social Distortion + Bad Religion	SOLD OUT?
Purgatory	Spite Fuxxx + NihilocerosDark Ice Balloons record release show + Two-Man Giant Squid + Brook Pridemore	7:30pm, $15
Racket	Feeble Little Horse + The Dallas Cowboys	8:30pm, $25
Terminal 5	Bayside + Finch + Armor for Sleep	8pm, $35

Sunday May 5

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Our Wicked Lady	Rights of Spring Day 2/3 feat. Gold Casio + Femcel + Shadow Monster + Frida Kill + Julia Pierce + DethRok + The Rizzos + Catty + Proprietary Energy Faggots + Just Fabulous + Majorette	4pm, $25
Arlene's Grocery	Bands do BK presents The Music Matters Day 1/3 feat. TVOD + Tetchy + A Very Special Episode + Tilden + Big Girl	7pm, $15
Brooklyn Paramount	Sum 41 + The Interrupters + Joey Valence & Brae	7pm, $70
Roulette	Long Play Festival feat. Deerhoof + The Eileen Myles, Steve Gunn and Ryan Sawyer Trio	8:30pm, SOLD OUT
Trans-Pecos	Plight + In Blue + Glimmer + The Twin	7:30pm, $15

Monday May 6

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Arlene's Grocery	Bands do BK presents The Music Matters Day 2/3 feat. Mary Shelley + Two-Man Giant Squid + partygirl + Nevva + O. Wake	7pm, $15
Brooklyn Paramount	Sum 41 + The Interrupters + Joey Valence & Brae	7pm, $70

Tuesday May 7

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Arlene's Grocery	Bands do BK presents The Music Matters Day 3/3 feat. SKORTS + Night Spins + Go Home + Jelly Kelly + Avatareden	7pm, $15
Baby's All Right	Babehoven + Knifeplay	7pm, $20
The Bowery Electric	Geoff Rickly of Thursday + Common Sage + Sharkswimmer	8pm, $15
Hart Bar	Harla + Grasping Straws + watergh0st + Rest Ashore	8pm, $15
Purgatory	Marblemouth + Options + Theadoore	8:30pm, $15
Warsaw	Chastity Belt	pm, $20

Wednesday May 8

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Baby's All Right	Rosie Tucker + Bloomsday	7pm, $20
The Rooftop at Pier 17	Social Distortion + Bad Religion	6pm, SOLD OUT
Warsaw	Fontaines D.C.	8pm, SOLD OUT

Thursday May 9

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	The Wants residency + S.C.A.B. + QIRL	8:30pm, $15
Bowery Ballroom	L'Rain + Fred Moten + Brandon Lopez	9pm, $25
(le) poisson rouge	Cloud Nothings + Hurry + Home Blitz	8:30pm, $30
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Sweet Pill + Equipment + Taking Meds	8pm, $17
Trans-Pecos	Trauma Ray + Kraus + Mx Lonely + Bedridden	7:30pm, $12

Friday May 10

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bar Freda	Waterfall Strainer + Endearments + Phantom Signals + Moon Sand Land	8:30pm, $15
Brooklyn Paramount	Say Anything Is A Real Boy 20th Anniversary Tour + AJJ + Greet Death	7:30pm, SOLD OUT
Gold Sounds	Upper Wilds + Hallelujah the Hills + KATIEE	8pm, $15
(le) poisson rouge	Combo Chimbita + Pachyman + Los Èsplifs	7pm, $30
Main Drag	Mahogany vinyl release show + My Favorite + Honeycrush + Minaxi	8pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Cheekface + yungatita	8pm, $22
Our Wicked Lady	Fish House + Stello + Laura Galindo + Big Honey	8pm, $15
Purgatory	Trace Mountains + J.R. Bohannon	8pm, $15
Saint Vitus	TWIABP&IANLATD + CTTBOTO + Burr + Common Sage	8pm, $25
Trans-Pecos	Woolbright + Cold Wrecks + Figure Eight + Anxioushum	7:30pm, $15
Webster Hall	Psychedelic Porn Crumpets + Spoon Benders	7:30pm, $25

Saturday May 11

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Brooklyn Paramount	Hot Water Music 30th anniversary tour + Quicksand + Modern Life is War + The Ergs + Be Well	6pm, $40
Brooklyn Steel	Holly Humberstone + Carol Ades	8pm, $30
Mercury Lounge	McKinley Dixon	7pm, $17
Mercury Lounge	Alex Orange Drink + Tall Juan + John Gallagher Jr. + Greensleeves	9:30pm, $18
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Bad Bad Hats + PRONOUN + OK Cowgirl	8pm, $18

Sunday May 12

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Brooklyn Steel	Holly Humberstone + Carol Ades	8pm, $30

Monday May 13

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Carnegie Hall	The Music of Crosby, Stills & Nash feat. Todd Rundgren + Grace Potter + Taylor Meier of Caamp + Iron and Wine + Rickie Lee Jones + Shawn Colvin + Real Estate et al	8pm, $60+
TV EYE	King Bug + Big Spirit + Shadow Monster	8pm, $15

Tuesday May 14

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Forest Hills Stadium	Neil Young & Crazy Horse	7:30pm, SOLD OUT
Union Pool	Climax LandersZenith No Effects record release show + Esther's Lab + Penny + Danny Christmas	8pm, $15

Wednesday May 15

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bowery Ballroom	Helmet + Cro-Mags	8pm, $30
Brooklyn Steel	Amen Dunes + Billy Woods	8pm, $30
Forest Hills Stadium	Neil Young & Crazy Horse	7:30pm, $125+
Heaven Can Wait	The Upstart Crows + TV Moms + The Last Word	7:30pm, $12
Irving Plaza	Sunny Day Real Estate 30th Anniversary Tour + Rocket	7pm, $50
National Sawdust	Julia Jacklinresidency + Squirrel Flower	8pm, SOLD OUT
Our Wicked Lady	A Very Special Episode + Toward Space + Desert Sharks + Blood of the Bull	8pm, $15
Public Records	AdHoc presents Kara Jackson + Mei Semones	8pm, SOLD OUT
Trans-Pecos	Hills to Height + Bloodsports + Percocet + Fasting	7:30pm, $15

Thursday May 16

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	No Jersey + Perfect Saturday + Dan Flashes + babyfang	7pm, $15
ALPHAVILLE	The Wants residency + Terminator + Pisha	8:30pm, $15
Brooklyn Made	Loosey + Miranda and The Beat + Dog Date + Sliders	8pm, $20
Brooklyn Steel	Mannequin Pussy + SoulGlo	8pm, SOLD OUT
Elsewhere - Hall	Mk.gee	8pm, SOLD OUT
Gramercy Theatre	Orgy + Cold + Horizon Theory + I Ya Toyah	6pm, $30
Irving Plaza	Sunny Day Real Estate 30th Anniversary Tour + Rocket	7pm, $50
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Les Savy Fav + Public Practice	8pm, $25
Our Wicked Lady	QWAM + Debbie Dopamine single release show + Anna Altman + Krissanthemum	8pm, $15
Public Records	AdHoc presents Kara Jackson + Anastasia Coope	8pm, SOLD OUT
Racket	Swans + Kristof Hahn	8pm, $42
Baby's All Right	Fazerdaze (solo) + Mei Seimones	10pm, $15

Friday May 17

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bowery Ballroom	Narrow Head + Dazy + Wishy	8pm, $25
The Broadway	O. Wake + Endearments + hiFi	9pm, $15
Brooklyn Steel	Echo & The Bunnymen	8pm, SOLD OUT
Forest Hills Stadium	The Avett Brothers + Sierra Ferrell	7pm, $60+
Irving Plaza	Mk.gee	8pm, SOLD OUT
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Swans + Kristof Hahn	8pm, $42
Union Pool	Heavy Feather & The Magic Word + Boyscoutmarie + Rat Palace	8pm, $15

Saturday May 18

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
18th Ward Brewing	NCF presents Summer Saturdays feat. The Answers In Between + The Overhead Bins + yael s. copeland + Rat Palace + The Fictionals	2pm, FREE
2 Wyckoff Avenue	Sound Mind Music Street Festival for Mental Health feat. Kevin Morby + MisterWives + SHAED + Bailen	2pm, FREE
18th Ward Brewing	Di Ivories + BEND + North by North + LEONE	7pm, $15
ALPHAVILLE	STUY + Chronic + Exit Seraphim	8:30pm, $15
Berlin	Ringo Deathstar + Ovlov + The Veldts	7pm, SOLD OUT
Main Drag	New Vision + T!LT + Spite FuXXX + Broken Demeanor	8pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Swans + Kristof Hahn	8pm, $42
TV EYE	Theophobia + Royale Minks + OK King	8pm, $15
Union Pool	Couvo + Big Girl + Reclining Nude	8pm, $15
Unruly Collective	Ghostie Recordings presents Castle Blacksingle release + The Rizzos + Joyce + Sorry Darling	8pm, $12
The Windjammer	Jeerleader + Alphabet City + Marinara	9pm, $15
Aboard (some boat) via Skyport Marina	Rocks Off Cruises presents Ringo Deathstar + Ovlov	Boat leaves at 11:30pm, $35

Sunday May 19

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	King Bug + The Wizard + Shira + Onward Debacle	8:30pm, $15
Bar Freda	Dollar Signs + The Big Easy + Perennial + Good Looking Friends + Strawberry Glass	8pm, $15
Berlin	Ilithios + Project Diem + Lukka + To the Wedding	7pm, $12
Brooklyn Monarch	Beach Party feat. Drain + Madball + Terror + Scowl + Regulate + End It + Trail of Lies + Private Mind	5pm, SOLD OUT
The Sultan Room	Ron Gallo (solo)	7pm, $20
Sundown	Radiator Hospital (solo) + Noun (Marissa Paternoster solo)	8pm, SOLD OUT

Monday May 20

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Baby's All Right	GUPPY + Kenneth Takanami	7pm, $15
Bowery Ballroom	Drain + Teenage Wrist + Stand Still	8pm, $27
Sundown	Radiator Hospital (solo) + Noun (Marissa Paternoster, solo)	10pm, $25

Tuesday May 21

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
The Broadway	Gladie + Shit Present + Talking Kind + Crush Fund	8pm, $15
Purgatory	Palestine Benefit feat. Katy Kirby + Helenor + Jules Olson	8pm, $15+
Racket	CKY + Crobot	8:30pm, $30
Sony Hall	Buckethead	8pm, $45
The Sultan Room	Tredici Bacci + Ryan Power + Jolee Gordon	8pm, $20
Union Pool	Squirrel Flower (solo) + Merce Lemon	8pm, $20

Wednesday May 22

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
The Broadway	Decent Criminal + The Dracu-Las + Bummer Camp + Wifey	8pm, $15
Brooklyn Bowl	Teenage Halloween + My Son The Doctor + Tony & The Kiki + Skorts	8pm, $15
Brooklyn Paramount	Amos Lee + special guests	7:30pm, $40
Elsewhere - Zone One	Empress Of + DJ_Dave	8pm, SOLD OUT
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Saint Vitus + The Bowery Presents present Fleshwater + Modern Color + 9Million	8pm, SOLD OUT
National Sawdust	Julia Jacklinresidency + Squirrel Flower	8pm, SOLD OUT
Radio City Music Hall	Sleep Token	8pm, SOLD OUT
Sony Hall	Buckethead	8pm, $45
The Sultan Room	Another Michael + Tenci + Raavi	8pm, $20

Thursday May 23

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	The Wantsresidency + Activity + Nara's Room Nick Cage + CS Cleaners + QIRL + Docents	8:30pm, $15
Arlene's Grocery	Yeah Baby + Coral Grief + Brother Language	7pm, $15
Bowery Ballroom	Hairpin + Bec Lauder + Kitten	8pm,
Mercury Lounge	Ben Katzman + Colleen Green	9:30pm,
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Gustaf + Edy Modica + Dead Tooth	8pm, $17
Purgatory	Sweetbreads + Slight Of + Majorette	8pm, $12
Sleepwalk	Twin Shadow performing Forget + Wynne Bennett	8pm, SOLD OUT rescheduled from March 14
Trans-Pecos	Harvey Waters + Silvia K. + S.C.A.B. + Many Shining Windows	7:30pm, $15

Friday May 24

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	Strange Neighbors + Sweetbreads + Wish Queen	8:30pm, $15
Baby's All Right	Motherfolk + Kevin Devine	8pm, $30
The Broadway	Rat Motel + partygirl + This Holy Rodeo + Uncle Skunk	8pm $15
Elsewhere - Zone One	Empress Of + Petal Supply	8pm, SOLD OUT
Main Drag Music	Dad + Wifeknife + Lost Children + Other Problems + Faiders	8pm, $15
Mercury Lounge	Washer + No Lights	9:30pm, $15
Sleepwalk	Twin Shadow performing Forget + Wynne Bennett	8pm, SOLD OUT rescheduled from March 15
TV EYE	Sorry Mom debut single release show + Oolong	8pm, FREE
Union Pool	Ok Cowgirl "Little Splinters" single release show + Charlotte Rose Benjamin + Hank Heaven	8pm, $15

Saturday May 25

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	SKORTS + Boyscoutmarie + Genuine Connection + First Sex	8:30pm, $15
Brooklyn Made	Habibi album release show	8pm, $25
Elsewhere - Zone One	Empress Of + GIRL_IRL	8pm, SOLD OUT
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	Pearla + Yours Are the Only Ears	7:30pm, $16
Public Records	Salt Cathedral + NOIA	8pm, $20
Purgatory	Cardiel + Aux Blood + Laurel Canyon + Le Bang	7:30pm, $12
The Rockaway Hotel	The Heavy Heavy + Sid Simons	7pm, $30
Trans-Pecos	Leaving Time + Hollow Suns + High.	7:30pm, $15
Knockdown Center	Fatboy Slim	10pm, $30
Baby's All Right	ANTICS fundraiser feat. Shallowhalo + Kassie Krut	11pm, $20

Sunday May 26

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Sleepwalk	Twin Shadow performing Forget + Wynne Bennett	8pm, SOLD OUT rescheduled from March 15

Monday May 27 - Memorial Day

None.

Tuesday May 28

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Irving Plaza	Passion Pit	7pm, SOLD OUT

Wednesday May 29

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Bowery Ballroom	Head Automatica + Thoughtcrimes	8pm, $37
The Broadway	Shred Flintstone + Diet Lite + Pamphlets	8pm, $15
Irving Plaza	Passion Pit	7pm, SOLD OUT
National Sawdust	Julia Jacklinresidency + special guest	8pm, SOLD OUT
Our Wicked Lady	Royale Minks + LEONE + Grandeur + girlie curse	8pm, $15
TV EYE	Magick Potion single release show + Indigo Fuzz + Certain Death + Duel Ferns	7:30pm, $15
The Sultan Room	Shop Talk + Sleepies + Frida Kill	10pm, $15

Thursday May 30

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
Baby's All Right	Arooj Aftab album release show + guests tba	9pm, $40
Knitting Factory @ Baker Falls	NCF x Super Bock Stock present Lio & Steve's Colossal Birthday Bash feat. Nino Disco + Dead Tooth + Balaclava + Starcleaner Reunion + Pippy	8pm, $15
Mercury Lounge	Glom	6pm, $15
Music Hall of Williamsburg	Kacy Hill + May Rio	8pm, $22
Our Wicked Lady	Pons single release show + Wince tour kick-off show + Pop Music Fever Dream + Tea Eater	8pm, $15
Rough Trade NYC	Habibi	6pm, FREE
Trans-Pecos	Johnny Dyamite & the Bloodsuckers + Snoozer + Public Circuit + 54 Ultra	7:30pm, $15
TV EYE	Raisalka + Baked + The Zells + Dropper	8pm, $15
Union Pool	Slow Ficiton Crush EP release show + Patiently	8pm, $15
Warsaw	Shannon and the Clams + Tropa Magica	8pm, SOLD OUT

Friday May 31

VENUE	EVENT / LINE-UP	TIME / DOOR PRICE
ALPHAVILLE	Francie Moon + Tula Vera + Wetsuit + Talon	8:30pm, $15
Gold Sounds	Richard Papiercuts + Onesie + Momsomnia + The Roulettes	8pm, $15
Market Hotel	HEAVENLY + Lightheaded	8pm, SOLD OUT
The Meadows	Bad Rabbits + Proper. + Origami Button	7pm, $25
Music Hall of Williamsburg	A Place to Bury Strangers + Suuns + JJUUJJUU	8pm, $25
Our Wicked Lady	RADAR + Substitute + Heavy Lag + The Follies	8pm, $15
The Rooftop at Pier 17	Needtobreathe + Judah & the Lion	7:30pm, $50
The Sultan Room	Finom + Frances Chang	8pm, $20
Warsaw	Passion Pit	8pm, $70

​
^{last updated May 10 at 11:27am}

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/uJVR6xS
($199) SLR ION Lite MLOK 14.6" Handguard

• 14.6" OAL, 100 rounds through it
• Includes barrel nut, two wrenches, lockup bolts/lugs, and gas tube indexer

I'll throw in any of the below for free:

• A2 Birdcage
• Chopped A2 Gasblock (now low profile, Brownell Oxpho-Blue'd, carbine gas tube
• Tale of Knives Belt Holster - holds a knife (or flashlight, pen, etc) has an HK hook for keys
• Delta Ring Assembly + Barrel Nut
• Magpul MOE furniture for a carbine A2

As for trades, I'd consider:

• Black, QD Surefire Warden in good condition that you can prove isn't a HAO's clone
• Arisaka 18650 Body + Head + tailcap (we can discuss price or additional cash from me)

The humor just goes completely over their head. Like, people whining about dumb shit all the time. It could be anything. Let's use an example recent posts where some boomer cuck on a college subreddit was whining because one of the protestors has a concealed weapon.
In a state that encourages everyone to conceal carry.
You'd think he'd be like "good. Fucking based. Even babies should be packing heat in their cribs. You call this milkies mommy?! Blat blat blat!" Instead they're doing this gay little routine about how protestors are violent and scary. Ya know what's scary? The fact everyone but me can vote.
And it doesn't have to be about that. We could be talking about sex. Oh, everyone is so progressive individually, it's everyone else on the outside who just wants to lock and key everyone's genitals with chastity belts. Especially Christians. Meanwhile their idea of being progressive and cool about sex is letting their 400 pound whale of a girlfriend fuck other dudes. That's not skibidi. She's probably dog pilled. I wanna hear a story about how she stuck a Chihuahua up her ass and the dog died. Very skibidi.

Looking to recoup the cost of the tickets $25 each

I thought my Monday was rough. Until I experienced Tuesday. Those who believed that it was important for me to supplement my academic study of male masochism with first-hand experience — Luke, Paul, Brooke, possibly Neil as well — certainly were getting their wish. I less so, although there was no denying the authenticity of it.
I had to wait until Brooke and Luke were asleep to complete my punishment lines. When my alarm went off at 5 AM in Tuesday morning, after only four hours of sleep, I groaned.
As I was driving over to Kevin’s mom’s house, I received a text from him: Get me an Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s on your way here. Text me when you get here so you don’t wake up my mom.
I had dressed in a clean pair of yoga pants and plain black T-shirt (fortunately, at the time, my dresser wasn’t yet full of humiliating shirts, like it is today, and my cuckold horns shirt was filthy), so I was grateful for the drive-thru at McDonald’s. I resisted the temptation to order myself hash browns and instead limited myself to a banana and cup of coffee. I was determined to avoid more punishment on Saturday following my weigh-in.
Although it was to be another unseasonably hot day, the sun was just starting to rise when I pulled up to the house, so it was still fairly cool. Kevin was waiting for me on the porch. He didn’t thank me (let alone offer to reimburse me) for the sandwich, but rather ate it as he walked around his truck, inspecting the work I had already done. Finding fault with the cleanliness of his wheel rims, he instructed me to stop working on the interior of the car and to reapply myself to the wheels and hubcaps. I tried to explain that I had scrubbed these areas repeatedly yesterday, but that some of the blemishes simply could not be removed from the aging vehicle. He stood above me, supervising — as I worked on my knees — pointing to areas that he felt were not sufficiently clean.
“Sir, I can’t get this spot out. I’ve tried several times,” I said, as I strenuously, yet futilely scrubbed a black mark at the bottom of one of the rear wheels. It looked like it had been there for years. Kevin’s filthy plumber’s boots were right next to my face as I crouched down and scrubbed.
“Scrub harder.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m scrubbing as hard as I can. Some of these stains just won’t come off.”
“You’re not trying hard enough. Here, let me try.” He grabbed the sponge from me and bent over to scrub it. It took some effort, but sure enough, he was able to remove the spot.
“See, you’re not working hard enough. Luke will be disappointed.”
“Sir, I promise you that I’m trying as hard as I can. I’m just not as strong as you are, sir. You have really bulked up at the gym since the last time I saw you.” I thought a little flattery might help convince him not to complain about me to Luke.
He flexed his bicep and stared at it admiringly.
“That’s really impressive, sir. Look at mine, by comparison.” I flexed mine, and felt like Popeye without the spinach standing (or, in my case, kneeling) next to Brutus.
“I guess you’re right,” he said. “I’ll tell you what, if you clean my boots and tools, I might not say anything to Luke.”
Have you started to notice a pattern here? A slippery slope of submission. For example, if I hadn’t been forced to clean Luke’s truck that time I was caught by Kelly, I probably would never have met Paul and, therefore, wouldn’t later that day be going to his condo to work as his maid. It seemed that one act of submission and exposure begat another. Where would it end? Would it end? At the time I am making them, however, my concessions always seem like good ideas, given my lack of options.
And so it probably will not surprise you to learn that I replied, “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I think I can use the same soapy water and leather conditioner I’m using on your truck. If you remove them, I can get started right away.”
“Remove them? Why bother? Just do them here,” he pulled down the tailgate of his truck and sat on it. I filled a fresh bucket of soap and water and got back on my knees to begin my task.
“My boots are dirtier than usual. My last job was a real shit show. Literally,” he chuckled.
I tried not to think about how exactly his boots got so filthy, as I used a towel to wipe off the foul smelling, caked-on debris. Kevin had a relaxed, arrogant expression on his face, as if having a guy twice his age kneeling before him to clean his boots was the most natural thing in the world. I heard the unmistakable noise of a photo being taken on a phone and looked up to see Kevin’s iPhone pointed at me.
“What are you doing, sir?”
“I just wanted to text Kaylee. She’ll get a kick out of this.”
What could I say in response? Challenge him and likely face Luke’s wrath? I bit my tongue.
After cleaning them, I applied some of the leather conditioner I had used on the truck’s seats and began buffing his boots energetically with a microfiber towel. It was just at that moment, of course, that Kevin’s mom, Darla, walked out of the house in sweatpants and a jacket, a cup of coffee in her hand. I will confess that my cock began to stiffen the moment I got on my knees and looked up at Kevin; the pure act of submitting stoked my arousal, as usual. But it was when Darla arrived that my cock really began to push painfully against its restraints.
“Oh, it’s you again,” she said looking down at me.
“Wally didn’t have time to finish my truck before it got dark yesterday,” said Kevin.
“Good morning, ma’am,” I said.
Ignoring me, she said, “It doesn’t look like he’s cleaning your truck right now to me. I guess Luke’s new lackey is now your lackey too. I raised some smart boys.” She smiled proudly. “At least this one isn’t wearing a bikini like Luke made his first boss wear when the old guy used to clean this truck back before he gave it to you.” She laughed heartily at the fond memory of one of my predecessors’ humiliations at the hands of her older son. So nice to be participating in the family tradition, I thought.
“Well, it is December. It’s a little cold for a bikini,” Kevin laughed. “Walter, stand up and show my mom the pantyhose, or whatever it is, that Luke makes you wear.”
I did as directed, causing Darla to laugh. “Those are women’s work-out pants, honey. But I can see the bulk beneath them. One of Luke’s signature methods of dominating the husbands he cuckolds. As I’ve heard your brother say more than once, ‘If you really want to own a man, control his cock.’”
“Wally is a college professor. Luke said he studied at one of them Ivy League schools, out East.”
“You can see where that’s gotten him,” she said. “Well, it’s a little chilly out here, I’m going back inside. I have I feeling I’ll be seeing more of you,“ she said to me with a smirk as she walked back into the house.
After I finished cleaning his boots, Kevin directed me to go into his garage, bring his tools out into the driveway and wipe them down with soapy water before loading them into the bed of his truck. He watched me work the entire time, not lifting a finger.
When I finished, he paid me a compliment. A most unwanted one, as it tuned out. “Nice job with my boots and my tools. Now that I’ve got my license, I could really use an assistant. I’m gonna talk to Luke about letting me borrow you sometimes.”
I didn’t respond, hoping this thought was just a whim of his that would soon be forgotten. I hoped in vain; it was indeed the slippery slope again, a continuation of my descent.
After I finished with his tools, I spent another hour finishing cleaning the interior of the truck before Kevin headed off to his first job of the day and I headed off to campus. This time, I did change into my jeans in a fast food restaurant on the way, too wary of facing Darla again to go back into the house.
I still wore the leather choker that day, and was highly self-conscious as I lectured to the 24 students in my Chivalry and Courtly Love In Medieval Literature class.
I had to be and Paul’s and Anna’s by 4 PM, so after my lecture, I walked to the drugstore to buy the Johnsons’ furniture wax and a toothbrush. I was starving. Having only had a banana that day, and having eaten very little besides salads, fruit and low-fat cottage cheese since my disappointing weigh-in on Saturday, I decided to treat myself to lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant in town. Given how hard I had worked and how little I had eaten over the last couple of days (and thinking about the humiliation that lay in store for me that afternoon), I figured that I deserved this one small self indulgence. I ordered seafood Tom Yum soup and beef Massaman curry. A caloric dish to be sure, but how much could it possibly hurt after my spartan diet of the last few days?
I was still savoring my soup when the waitress brought my curry and rice to the table. Just at that moment, I saw Neil enter the restaurant with a female colleague, Annabelle Nash (she taught Shakespeare, mainly). They greeted me as they went to their seats, but I could see Neil scrutinize the dishes on my table and shake his head disapprovingly (if subtly). Self conscious as I was, I nevertheless cleaned my plate (grateful Neil’s back was to me at the table where he and Annabelle sat). After I paid my check, I walked over to say goodbye to them.
Neil said, “Hey, pal, would you mind swinging by my office at around 2:30 for a few minutes?”
“Sure thing, Neil. Nice seeing you, Annabelle.”
When I met him in his office later, Neil closed the door and asked me to sit down.
“Walter, I have a bit of a dilemma that I hope you can help me out with. Luke made me promise to tell him if I caught you cheating on your diet on campus.”
“The restaurant is not on campus,” I smiled, attempting a joke.
“You know what I mean,” he answered, with a serious expression. “Was that beef Massaman curry? Do you know how many calories are in that dish?! And all the carbs in the rice? You should always ask for brown rice instead of white, you know. And you had soup too, I noticed.”
“But I barely ate anything the past three days. And I only had a banana for breakfast.”
“You’re always making excuses. That’s why you’ve basically been stuck at the same weight now for the last few weeks. You’re at a threshold, and to lose more, you need to be super disciplined about what you eat, and exercise more. No more excuses, Walter.”
“You’re right, sir. Please don’t tell Luke,” I pleaded.
“Look, I know what my telling him means for you as a consequence. But I promised him I would. And his methods with you have been successful. I feel I have to honor my promise.”
“Please, don’t. Maybe I can make it up to you somehow. How about a foot massage?”
“Giving me a foot massage isn’t going to burn many calories.” He thought for a minute. “I tell you what. The four days a week that we’re on campus together, how about if you bring me a coffee each day in between my classes? I don’t think that will conflict with your teaching schedule, and the exercise of walking to the Corner Cafe each day will do you good. It’s 3300 steps there and back; I’ve measured it on my iPhone. That way, I won’t feel as guilty for not telling Luke about catching you cheating on your diet today.”
“Yes, thanks Neil. Sir, I mean. That seems more than fair.”
Neil got up and shook my hand. “Deal. And you don’t have to call me ‘sir’ here on campus, pal.”
“Thanks, Neil.”
“But I will take you up on that offer for your amazing foot massages on Wednesdays after my back-to-back classes. You can give me one tomorrow when you bring my coffee.”
“Of course, thanks again, Neil,” I said, as I left his office. And so that is how I came to be Neil’s coffee boy for the balance of the semester (and future semesters, even during my sabbatical). And his foot boy, or reflexologist, or whatever you want to call it. Notice how it went from me offering to give him one foot massage in return for his silence, to me getting his coffee four days a week and massaging his feet once a week. In an instant! I guess negotiation was not one of my strong suits.
As I drove to Paul and Anna’s condo — the next stop on my gauntlet of service and humiliation that day —the Paul Simon song Slip Sliding Away ran through my head, the refrain in particular:
Slip sliding away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip sliding away
If old Paul was correct, the further I slid down the slope, the closer I’d come to my true nature. I wondered how much further I had to slip. Would I be the slave to everyone by the time I finally reached the bottom of the slope?
As I parked my car, I did another mental inventory of what I needed for my second visit to the condo. Johnsons’s furniture wax, check. Toothbrush, check. Punishment lines, check. I was wearing sheer, black nylon panties under my jeans. Then I remembered: I had completely forgotten Anna’s directive that I research and practice how to curtsy. All I could do is hope that she had forgotten. If not, maybe I could wing it? Better yet, maybe she wouldn’t be there this time. But did I really want to be alone with Paul?
Carrying a bag that contained my punishment lines as well as the furniture polish and toothbrush, I entered the lobby to find the same obnoxious doorman as last Tuesday, sitting behind his desk.
“I’m here to see Paul Betz.”
“And you are?” He knew perfectly well who I was, but wanted to force me to say it.
“The maid.” I looked down at the floor, ashamed.
He picked up the intercom. “Mr. Betz, your maid is here to clean your apartment. May I send HIM up?” The prick just had to emphasize my gender.
“Mr. Betz said you may go up. Apartment 11B. The elevator is around the corner,” he said, as if I had never been there before, a smug smile plastered to his face.
“Yes, thank you. I remember.”
When I got to their door, I got down on my knees, as Paul had instructed me. Should I have rung the bell first? Should I knock? Or would that annoy them? I had been announced, so they knew I would be coming up the elevator. I waited there for several minutes. The longer I waited, however, it seemed to make less and less sense to ring the bell. Maybe they were busy and not ready for me yet, even though I was very punctual? Maybe they were….having sex? I didn’t want to risk disturbing them. And, so, I continued to wait.
I then heard the elevator door open, with dread. A woman, probably in her mid thirties, walked by me to her apartment across the hall, staring down at me with an amused expression. When she opened her door, I heard her yell to someone in the apartment, “It looks like Paul and Anna have a new one,” before the door slammed shut.
Just then the the door in front of me finally opened. I saw Paul’s feet first.
“You may enter. Remember, on your knees.”
I put my hands down to crawl into the apartment, before he snapped at me: “No! I didn’t say on your hands and knees. I said on your knees.”
I shuffled forward into the apartment, cursing myself for having not purchased knee pads, as Paul had suggested. I told myself that I would have to start taking notes from now on , so I wouldn’t forget things I’d later regret.
“Lines,” he said, simply.
I pulled the several loose leaf pages out of my bag and handed them to Paul. “Here, sir.”
As much as it hurt my hand to write all of those lines, the mental anguish of having to repeatedly write that I would no longer mention academic integrity — a subject that I was passionate about (ridiculous as it might seem to you, coming from a professor about to clean the apartment of two of his students) — was worse. Paul knew that, of course. I was to learn that, despite their many differences in style, like Luke, he was a natural sadist, with an impressive ability to zero in on areas of his victim’s vulnerability or sensitivity to exploit for maximum humiliation. Lucky me.
“I’ll count them and check the neatness of your writing later. Did you bring the Johnsons wax and toothbrush?”
“Yes, sir. Here.” I showed him the contents of my bag.
Anna then came into the living room from the kitchen, munching on an apple. Both were dressed similarly to last time, Paul in sweatpants and Anna in tight yoga pants. Anna was barefoot this time, her pretty, pedicured toes painted a metallic silver color. She caught me staring at her toes, and smiled.
“Don’t worry, Professor Rollins, you will get to know my feet very well. They will be your best friends before long.”
“More like his unattainable crush,” Paul snickered.
“Crushes,” Anna corrected him. “Professor maid will have a crush on both of my feet and on all ten of my toes. He will worship them and he will pine for them. And they won’t give him the time of day,” she said. Then she abruptly said to me, “Obeisance!”
“Excuse me, Princess Anna?”
“Obeisance means assume the position of respect and humility before your superiors,” Paul explained.
“Yes, sir. I know the meaning of the word, but I don’t know what position she means.”
“I don’t like your condescending tone. It reminds me of when you corrected me in class on Monday about the cucking stool. We’re going to teach you not to use that tone with us. Certainly not here, where you are nothing more than a slave. But not in class either. You will be very careful in how you interact with Anna, Kelly and me in class from now on. We are your special students.”
“We are the teacher’s pets, and the teacher is our pet,” giggled Anna.
I certainly didn’t intend to be condescending — I was on my knees, for fuck’s sake — but I guess that quality just naturally creeps into my tone at times, unconsciously. Perhaps an occupational hazard of being a professor? Or at least, a hazard in the situations in which I increasingly found myself.
“Strip,” ordered, Paul.
“Yes, sir. May I stand for a moment?”
Paul nodded his ascent. I quickly removed my shoes, socks, shirt and jeans, and stood before them in my panties and chastity cage.
“Obeisance here means you drop down onto your belly, you clasp your hands behind your back and you slither like the worm you are to your superior’s feet and kiss each one reverently. Obeisance!”
I was standing several feet away from them. I did exactly what Paul described, finding that the only way to propel myself forward from that position was to grind my crotch into the floor. Not only was it incredibly uncomfortable, but I feared that my chastity cage might scratch their hardwood floor. Fortunately, there was an area rug covering most of the space separating us, so I was able to slide myself — indeed, “slither” was the correct word — towards their feet. Figuring ladies first, I planted kisses on Anna’s lovely bare feet, followed by Paul’s socked feet.
Paul asked me, “Where is Luke today?”
Still prostrate on my belly, inches from their toes, I answered, “He is traveling today, sir.”
“Overnight?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What about your wife?”
“She is working tonight.”
“You didn’t say ‘sir.’ That’s one demerit. At the restaurant?”
I had never said anything to them about Brooke’s job, even during Paul’s initial interrogation of me at O’Riordans. His detailed knowledge of my life was unsettling.
“Yes, sir.”
“What time does she get home? Don’t lie, I have my ways of checking.”
“Usually around 10:30 or so, sir.”
Anna interjected, “Good, you can work longer than two hours, then. The condo is a disaster, and we’re having a little get together on Thursday. That little bitch, Chrissy, said her mother is sick. Supposedly. So she wasn’t able to clean on Sunday. You have your work cut out for you, professor maid. Where is your page uniform?”
Oh, no! Another order, I forgot. I didn’t hesitate to lie. “My wife wore the jacket today, princess. She occasionally likes to wear it.” Did Paul have ways of checking on that, too, I wondered.
“Bring it with you on Thursday. Fortunately, I picked out some other things for you to wear today. You’ll find your clothes on and next to the spanking bench in the dungeon. You can change in there and then present yourself to us before you start cleaning.”
“Yes, princess. Thank you.”
As I walked upstairs to the dungeon, I was still trying to process Anna’s extremely troubling remark a moment earlier. Not the fact that I had to work longer than two hours, nor that the condo was especially messy. Rather, it was the fact that they were planning on inviting guests on Thursday, the day I was to spend four hours with them, including preparing and serving them dinner. They had promised me that I wouldn’t be subjected to further exposure. Still, I had to risk asking, at some point, who they planned to invite to their “little get together.”
Expecting to find a maid’s uniform in the dungeon, I was not completely mistaken. Draped over the spanking bench were sheer black, thigh high stockings and a garter belt as well as a white lace maid’s cap. On the floor next to the bench were a pair of what appeared to be brand new, black high heels. Presumably, these were purchased specifically for me and would not painfully pinch my feet like Chrissy’s did.
The garter had a velcro clasp, so was relatively easy to put on. I initially struggled attaching the metal clasps to the thigh highs, but got those on as well. I then put the on the ridiculous cap. Finally, the most challenging part: the heels. They were my size, thankfully, but I was very unsteady in them, even partially twisting my ankle when I first tried to walk in them. Regarding myself in a large mirror hung inside the door to the dungeon, I looked utterly absurd, especially with my bare torso and rock-hard nipples.
Anna laughed loudly when I wobbled my way into the living room, where she and Paul were now reclining on the couch. My cock strained against its cage as I stood before my young monarchs, watching them scrutinize my ridiculously attired form.
“Don’t worry, professor. You’ll get used to the heels before you know it. Now let’s see you curtsy.”
The moment I was dreading. Should I confess to her that I had forgotten her instructions and beg her forbearance? Or should I wing it? I chose the latter, and chose unwisely. Not having a skirt to lift, I sort of mimicked lifting a phantom one and lamely bent my knees before standing straight again. There was no extending my right foot behind my left, no holding my position for two seconds when I bent my knees, no lowering my chin, no maintaining eye contact with my mistress. In other words, my improvisation was a dismal failure.
“That’s pathetic. Did you bother to practice at all?”, asked Anna, with a scowl.
“Yes, princess. Maybe I picked a bad how-to video.”
“You only watched one? You didn’t read anything about the different steps involved? It’s not hard to find instructions on Google. I checked myself. You either are lying to me or you’re a complete bimbo. Is it really true that we can’t leave marks on his ass?”, she asked Paul.
“For now, yes, unfortunately. But I think I’ve figured out some ways to punish him that won’t leave any long lasting marks.”
“Good. He deserves it. Maybe a little pain will help you remember to do what we tell you to do in the future, and to do it properly,” said Anna to me.
“Yes, Princess Anna. I promise to study how to curtsy very carefully before Thursday.”
“You better. Including a deep curtsy.”
“But that doesn’t get you off the hook for fucking up today,” said Paul. “Now get busy.”
I gathered up their dirty laundry first (scattered throughout the apartment), and started a load. The condo was indeed a mess. I later learned that Paul and Anna simply never picked up after themselves. Why should they when they had a seemingly ever increasing stable of menials to do so for them. However, when one of the servants fell ill or for some other reason failed to clean on their allotted days, the next one paid the price, as I did that day. It was quite challenging walking in the heels, but Anna was correct that I got used to them fairly quickly. By the end of the nearly four hours I was with them that Tuesday, I was managing to walk in them reasonably steadily.
As I worked, I caught snippets of their conversation.
Anna said, “It’s a bummer we don’t get to control his cock.”
Paul replied, “I know. But I’m working on that. It’s going to take a little time.”
“That’s good. Without control of his cock, it doesn’t feel like he’s truly our slave, you know what I mean?”
“I do. Just be patient.”
“How do you plan to do it?” Anna glanced at me. “Or don’t you want him to hear?”
“I don’t care if he hears or not. There’s nothing he can do about it. The key is to make friends with Luke. He was willing to lend Rollins to us at the Ren fair when we asked. My guess is he’ll be willing to share him again. And regularly. Besides, Professor Larson told me Luke built a huge pool at his house. I’d love to swim there when the weather gets nice. Indoor pools just aren’t the same.”
I knew that Paul had taken one of Neil’s classes last year, but hearing that they had been in touch since the Ren fair — bonding over their shared love of swimming, no doubt — was concerning. I hoped that there wasn’t anything else they were bonding over.
Anna instructed me to use the Johnsons wax I had purchased to polish the expensive looking coffee table and end tables in their large living room. They watched TV as I worked around them, ordering me as they did last time to serve them drinks. The toothbrush was for me to clean the crevices in the tiled bathroom floor of the master bathroom. Anna said that the crevices made it difficult to thoroughly clean with a mop. That may have been true, but I suspected this was more about humiliation than cleanliness. She supervised me as knelt down and scrubbed the first few tiles, urging me to pay particular attention to those closest to the toilet. She stood in the entrance way, as I bent over with my panty-clad ass sticking out. Although my cock fought against its confines almost the entire time I was there that day, there were certain moments such as this that the throbbing was particularly unpleasant.
As I was mopping the kitchen floor, I heard an alarm go off.
“Get your ass in here!”, I heard Paul yell from the living room. “It’s time for your punishment. Normally, I don’t administer correction until a servant has completed all assigned tasks for the day, but since we can’t leave any visible marks on you for the time being, I’m going to make an exception for you. Five demerits from last week plus one from today. Not to mention your compete failure to learn how to properly curtsy. Get over my knees.”
“But what about the punishment lines, sir?”
“You’re questioning me? They were to address a separate issue: your idiotic obsession with academic integrity.”
“But, sir, didn’t you say that you would address my demerits on Thursday when I would be here longer?”
“That was before I knew you could stay here longer today. I intend to take advantage of it. But I’m also happy to administer part of your punishment today and part of it on Thursday. I’m sure that our guests will enjoy it.”
“Uh, sir, I was meaning to ask you about that. You, you…you and Princess Anna promised you wouldn’t tell anyone or show anyone…” My tongue was tied.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, professor. Our guests are Kelly and Archer,” said Anna.
“Archer, princess?”
“Archer is Kelly’s boyfriend. You two go way back. He saw you cleaning Luke’s truck in a speedo and you cleaned his muddy boots at the Ren fair. That was so much fun!, Anna giggled.
“What are you waiting for?,” Paul snapped.
I walked over to him and lay across his knees. Across the knees of my student, dressed as some fetishized maid. It was a truly surreal moment.
“The advantage of a hand spanking is that it can hurt quite a bit, but it won’t leave marks. The redness will fade in a couple of hours, and I think I know how to go right up to the edge of leaving bruises without actually leaving them. The key is lots of repetition. I’m going to give you twenty spanks for each demerit. Normally, it would only be ten, but that’s when I’m using a paddle, strap or crop. Or cane. We will inspect your cleaning when you’re done, and any additional demerits you earn today will be addressed on Thursday.” Paul rubbed my bottom with his hand as he spoke, a sensual exertion of control that I did not expect.
“Did you ever think you’d get to spank one of your professors?”, Anna asked her boyfriend with almost childlike delight.
“Great to check this one off the bucket list. Someday, I’d like to have a Senator or Governor over my knees.”
“How about the President?”
“You never know. There are submissive cucks and closet masochists in all walks of life.”
And with that observation, Paul’s hand came down hard on my panty-clad bottom. It came down again and again. The first strike hurt, but it was the cumulative effect that really turned this hand spanking into a tear-inducing punishment. I managed to be fairly stoic until about the 30th strike. By around the 50th, I was kicking my legs. Eventually I kicked with sufficient force that both of my heels came off. Although my sheer panties offered next to no protection, about midway through my punishment, Paul pulled them down and struck me on my bare bottom. Around the same time the tears came, I started squirming around on Paul’s lap.
“Stay still!”
I tried, but as the spanks kept coming, I continued to squirm on his lap. Paul then reached between my legs and firmly grabbed my balls. That certainly got my attention.
As he squeezed them, Paul said, “Do you think you can be still now?”
‘Yes, sir. I do!”
Through great exertion of will, I was able to remain still as Paul delivered the final twenty or strokes. He pushed me roughly off his lap onto the floor after he finished.
“Normally, I would now make you stand in the corner with your ass on display for 30 minutes or so, but I want to make sure you have time to finish cleaning.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes and replied, “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
Anna sat down next to Paul on the couch and, inserting her hand into his sweatpants. said, “That was hot. Did it excite you as much as it did me? Oh, I can feel that it did! Let’s go fuck on our freshly made bed.”
“Sounds good, babe. If we’re quick, he can wash the sheets again before he leaves.”
Which is exactly what happened. Their inspection of my work only resulted in two additional demerits this time.
Before I left, Anna gave me detailed instructions for the meal I was to prepare on Thursday.
It was 9:30 PM by the time I got home. Given that Luke was away, I was hoping Brooke would release me when she got home and give me footjob or maybe even allow me to make love to her like she did on Thanksgiving. As exhausted as I was, I had been in a near constant state of frustrated sexual arousal throughout the day and its myriad humiliations, and I was dying to be released.
Unfortunately, Brooke had a difficult night at the restaurant (two men who hit on her, and one who stiffed her after she politely rebuffed him) and was in a foul mood. So instead of being released, I spent still more time on my now truly aching knees, giving her a long foot massage through her sweaty stockings as she silently watched TV.
That was still the highlight of my long, long day.

Ryo Saeba

(Alternate Header Image 1 2)

"You pulled off a shrewd plan, I applaud you for that. But you made one mistake. You showed me the tears of a woman. And now you have to pay the price for it."

Anyone who has spent considerable time in Tokyo, or Japan as a whole for that matter, may have heard rumors about the blackboard in Shinjuku station. They say that if you have a problem and can't go to the police, all you have to do is write a note with the letters XYZ at the end and wait for the mysterious City Hunter to come and find you. However, pretty much anyone that's done this will tell you that the City Hunter isn't exactly the man you might expect.
At the incredibly young age of three years old, Ryo Saeba was traveling with his parents when their plane crashed in a country in Central America that was in the middle of a civil war. Being the sole survivor, Ryo wandered the jungle for days until he stumbled upon a village of guerilla fighters that were battling their country's government. The guerillas would only accept warriors that could fight with them, so Ryo joined their ranks in order to survive. They taught him everything they knew about fighting, weapons, and warfare until Ryo grew to be one of the most dangerous men on the battlefield. However, the government forces eventually overwhelmed them, chasing the guerillas out of the country. Now an adult, Ryo made his way to the United States and opted to become a sweeper, a mercenary/bounty hunteprivate detective that performs off the books jobs to clean up the filthy criminal underworld. Partnering with Mick Angel, another sweeper and one of his best friends, Ryo formed the team known as City Hunter.
At some point, Ryo left the US and returned to Japan, the country of his birth, where he kept the City Hunter name for himself and continued doing sweeper work with a new partner, ex-detective Hideyuki Makimura. Ryo's reputation spread rapidly, becoming known as one of the most dangerous men in the criminal underworld. So what's the problem? Well, he does have one weakness: Beautiful women. Despite his upbringing, Ryo is a goofy pervert and womanizer that would only accept jobs from the prettiest women around if he had his way. For awhile, he had Makimura to keep him in check, but his partner would meet a tragic end after refusing a job from a powerful drug syndicate, giving Ryo the dying request of looking after his little sister Kaori. Initially planning to help Kaori get out of the city, Ryo was surprised to find that Kaori wanted to take her brother's place as Ryo's assistant/partner and continue the work he thought was so important. Together, they became the newest iteration of City Hunter, sweeping the streets of Japan of evil and assisting any beautiful women that requested their services.
While his methods may be questionable, rest assured that the City Hunter always sees a job through no matter what criminal organizations, serial killers, or assassins stand in his way.
Note:

• Surprisingly, City Hunter was never given a full official English translation until early 2022. While chapters have been releasing steadily since then, only Chapters 1-38 are actually translated. This thread uses all available pages of the official translation, but afterwards will be forced to rely on fan-translations.
• Kaori hitting Ryo in the head with hammers whenever he acts pervy is a running gag throughout the series, which results in some of his better durability feats. While it may seem best to write these off as gag feats, there's plenty of evidence to suggest these feats are actual aspects of the City Hunter world and should be taken literally.
  • The hammers are acknowledged by unrelated bystanders as too heavy to lift^Ch99
  • A hammer plays an integral part of a serious scene, with it's handle being destroyed leading into the villains kidnapping Kaori^Ch120
  • Kaori literally destroys their bath to prevent Ryo from getting intimate with a woman which affects the plot of that chapter^Ch145
  • Kaori is legitimately strong in her own right so these feats aren't unprecedented^Ch187
• The most notable feats in each section will be bolded.

Strength

Striking
Vs Enemies

• Knocks out a biker far larger than him with a single punch to the stomach^Ch8
• Knocks out three Yakuza members with a camera^Ch45
• Incapacitates a large biker gang, including a member who was twice as tall as the others^Ch75
• Sends a large man flying down an alley and later knocks that same man out of a window^Ch121

Destructive Output

• Breaks a baton and sends a mob member far larger than him flying back^Ch6
• Smashes through a wall with a wooden mallet^Ch69
• Sends a man far larger than him flying back, destroying the set of a dance recital^Ch71
• Knocks a pair of thugs through a wooden door^Ch166
• Defeats a group of mercenaries offscreen, one of which was shown to have had his head smashed into a small crater in the ground^Ch174
• Kicks down a metal gate after shooting the lock^Ch175

Lifting/Throwing

• Lifts a student off the ground, smashing his head through the ceiling of the lecture hall and leaving a sizeable hole^Ch15
• Isn't slowed down at all as he carries his ally while fleeing a torrent of bullets^Ch21
• Catches one of Kaori's hammer swings^Ch47
  • The majority of Kaori's best hammer feats can be found in the Durability section for scaling
• Catches a punch from behind and throws the attacker hard enough to knock over some tombstones^Ch81
• Throws a knife hard enough to embed it in a wall^Ch95
• Stands up while a giant spikey metal ball is tied to his back^Ch162

Jumping/Charging

• Leaps through the ceiling of his apartment in terror^Ch65
• Dives with enough force to smash his head through a stone wall^Ch94
• While tied to a giant spikey metal ball, he lifts it up and uses it to crash through a wall and stop the man that was attacking his client^Ch162

Other

• Uses garrote wire to decapitate a man^Ch4
• Digs his fingers and toes into stone to avoid falling into a spike trap^Ch53
• Bites through the tip of a spear^Ch93
• Flicks a pachinko ball hard enough that it knocks a knife out of a thug's hand which is embedded in the handle of a wheelchair^Ch102
• [Anti-Feat] Was unable to free himself after getting his dick trapped in the doors of a train^Ch104
• Bites and stabs his toes into a stone wall so that he could climb it despite being tied up^Ch109
• Easily catches the stab and breaks the wrist of a serial killer^Ch131

Speed

Travel

• After killing a suicide bomber he charges a short distance to knock him away before his body can fall to the ground^Ch5
• Pushes a woman out of the way of a speeding truck and then proceeds to briefly outrun that truck^Ch14
• In the time that it took a thug to enter a building and break into a girl's appartment, Ryo traveled all the way there from his appartment (the exact distance is unclear, but the reflection of the girl's telescope appears to be at least several blocks away)^Ch102
• While bra-lusted, he runs straight through a mine field and emerges unharmed^Ch154
• Instantly crosses a large warehouse to where his opponents were standing^Ch159

Reactions
Melee

• Sidesteps a biker's punch^Ch8
• Grabs someone so that they take a bat to the face for him when the swing was mere inches from his head^Ch35
• Easily dodges and catches a serial killer's stab^Ch130
• Ryo narrowly avoided Mick Angel's attacks after he had been injected with Angel Dust^Ch182
  • Angel dust increases muscular power beyond its limits^Ch184

Aim Dodging

• Leans back and narrowly avoids a point blank pistol shot from Miki, an ex-mercenary^Ch86
  • He later jumps around a store so that she was unable to land a shot on him^Ch86
• After Miki hypnotized herself to shoot him immediately after he said a certain key word, he was narrowly able to react in time to knock aside her gun^Ch88
• Avoids Koumori's aim long enough to get thrown his own gun and retaliate (Koumori is another professional hitman)^Ch124/118
• Narrowly avoids Umibozu's shots at various points throughout their duel^Ch148
  • Ryo previously described Umibozu as a sniper of the highest caliber and one of the most dangerous guys in the business^Ch53
  • Umibozu is an incredible shot in his own right, hitting numerous perfect shots while blindfolded^Ch145
• Jumps to avoid nearly point blank machine gun fire from a professional assassin called the Black Lizard^Ch153
• Engages in a gunfight with Mick Angel, during which he climbed the outside of his building without getting hit^Ch175
  • Mick claims to be the number one sweeper in America and Umibozu corroborates this, saying that Mick is likely Ryo's equal in skill^Ch175
• Avoids the fire of several well trained soldiers at once^Ch191

Projectiles

• Moves Kaori out of the way of some thrown daggers^Ch6
• Dodges and reacts to various thrown, metal-edged playing cards^Ch23
• Reacts to a revolver round, moving his erection an instant before it was blasted off^Ch53
  • This comes with the caveat that Ryo already knew Umibozu was watching him to make sure he didn't act up, and he realized his mistake before the shot was fired^Ch53
• Catches a thrown knife with his teeth^Ch90
• Seemingly deflect trap arrows while sprinting down a booby trapped hallway^Ch93
• Chops two trap spears that were launched at him to the ground^Ch154
• Shoots through a knife after it was thrown at him^Ch162
• Narrowly reacts to darts fired from a mechanism on Mick's wrist^Ch188

Other

• Protects himself with a table before a grenade can explode in his face^Ch112
• After triggering a car bomb it's revealed that he managed to avoid it^Ch167

Combat/Attacking

• When a drugged up opponent attacks him from behind, Ryo draws his gun and shoots him to the ground and, by the time he staggered to his feet, had already moved behind him to strangle him^Ch4
• Leaps high into the air, moving fast enough to seemingly vanish to his attackers^Ch8
• Repeatedly stabs the space between his fingers at high speeds without cutting himself^Ch10
• Moves faster than a soldier can track, appearing behind her after dodging her punch^Ch20
• Even while his opponent has a gun trained on him, Ryo throws a bra over his eyes and scampers into the ceiling before he can recover^Ch21
  • This man could react fast enough to catch knives thrown from a short distance away^Ch20
• Flicks a series of pachinko balls at some thugs at high speeds^Ch46
• Steals Reika's bra off her person before she can realize what happened^Ch59
• Beats up a group of Yakuza in a few seconds^Ch72
• When a disguised police detective has a gun trained on him, Ryo grabs and throws a scalpel into his hand before he can pull the trigger^Ch103

Quickdraw/Shooting

• Has multiple examples of shooting opponents who were already aiming at him
  • High ranking mob member^Ch6
  • Foreign prince that could react fast enough to catch knives thrown from a short distance away^Ch21/20
  • Professional killer^Ch119
  • A well trained soldier^Ch190
• Quickdraws a shotgun to destroy his attacker's whip mid-swing^Ch9
• Using a mounted machine gun, he takes out a squad of terrorists before any of them could fire a single shot back^Ch19
• Beats his opponent in a quickdraw even after giving him a head start (this opponent also claimed to be more skilled than ordinary soldiers)^Ch19
• Quickdraws and fires before a Yakuza hitman had even grabbed his weapon, moving so fast that the hitman didn't believe him to be human^Ch23
• Notices a series of scalpels falling from the sky and shoots them out of the air before they can hit his client^Ch38
• Uses his gun to disarm six thugs in a split second before any of them could pull their triggers despite having their guns trained on him and then immediately does it again^Ch76
• Beats a hitman in a quickdraw, disarming him and destroying his belt to drop his pants before he realized what happened^Ch90
• Defeats Koumori, not just in a quickdraw but actually managing to hit him in the face with his gun before the other man pulled his trigger (Koumori is another professional hitman)^Ch124/118
• While Umibozu had his gun trained on him, Ryo managed to pull his gun and fire in the same time it took Umibozu to only pull his trigger^Ch149
  • Ryo previously described Umibozu as a sniper of the highest caliber and one of the most dangerous guys in the business^Ch53
• Shoots multiple hidden explosives in an instant^Ch159

Agility/Mobility

Acrobatics

• Vaults over a countertop and tackles a cashier to the ground to avoid a torrent of gunfire^Ch30
• Flips out of the way of an incoming truck from a seated position^Ch74
• Performs several back handsprings to distance himself from an explosion^Ch154

Jumping

• Leaps from a stage and gets tangled in the lights^Ch68
• Repeatedly jumping across a street while traversing rooftops without any sleep the night before^Ch94
• [NSFW] After falling from a rooftop, he leaps back up to retaliate against his opponent^Ch95
• Leaps up to a second story platform where his opponents were standing^Ch159

Climbing

• Rapidly scales the side of a building^Ch94
• Performs pullups by sticking his fingers into holes in the ceiling^Ch102
• Clings to the side of a window^Ch102
• Climbs down a wall like Spider-Man^Ch109
  • He has done this on several occasions^Ch173
• Scales the outside of his building during a gunfight^Ch175

Hanging

• Dangles from a rope by his feet like a spider^Ch68
• Clings to a windowsill by his toes^Ch98

Propping/Wedging

• Props himself in the top corner of a room^Ch65
• Wedges himself between two ceiling rafters^Ch82
• Hides from Kaori by going into an alley and propping himself high between two buildings^Ch102
• [NSFW] Props himself between the wall and ceiling of a shower at an impossible angle^Ch161

Other

• Drops onto a moving car from a tree branch, maintaining his balance with apparent ease even when the car crashes into a light pole^Ch16
• Uses a rope to swing onto a stage and save an idol from a rabid mob^Ch24
• Runs along walls while avoiding booby traps^Ch93
• Saves a man from a collapsing floor^Ch114

Durability

Blunt

• Kaori embeds him into the ground and then smashes his head through the side of a building^Ch52
• Gets sent flying through a door and embedded in a wall^Ch68
• Kaori hits him hard enough to make a crater bigger than he is^Ch78
• Kaori smashes an entire bed over his head, partially sending him through his apartment's floor^Ch79
• Kaori knocks him through the wall of a bathhouse and he isn't bothered at all^Ch85
• Umibozu slams him into a wall hard enough to crater it and he immediately recovered^Ch87
• Takes blows from Umibozu on multiple different ocassions, with Umibozu being strong enough to crush the top of a car and and split a wooden table in half with his strikes^{Ch147/90/55/146}
• Immediately gets up after Kaori smashes him into the pavement^Ch104
• Umibozu rips a lamp post from the ground and throws it at Ryo's face hard enough to bend it^Ch146
• Kaori knocks him through a stone wall^Ch151
• Kaori craters him into the roof of their building^Ch175

Piercing

• Getting swarmed by piranhas and has no visible damage after^Ch112
• Gets slammed by a giant spiked ball trap with no visible puncture wound afterwards^Ch151

Explosive

• Gets caught in a trap where multiple grenades and dynamite packs explode on top of him, blasting a hole in the side of his apartment building^Ch87
  • Here is the destruction from that blast from several other angles^Ch88
• Is hit with a pointblank explosion that destroys a wall in his appartment^Ch102
• Repeatedly shoots through a plane from the inside, causing it to blowup so he can escape^Ch119

Falling

• Jumps from his apartment and crashes onto a car below, heavily denting the top of it without injury^Ch32
  • We see in a later chapter that Ryo lives on the fifth floor^Ch67
• Gets dropped from the fourth floor of a hospital, crashing into the pavement and forming a fairly large crater^Ch38
• [NSFW] Falls from a rooftop and craters into the street^Ch93

Electrical

• Kaori electrocutes him twice with a defibrillator and he immediately gets up (though the third time causes his heart to stop)^Ch47
  • Afterwards he was revealed to have been temporarily crippled by the attacks^Ch47
• A door trap electrocutes him and soon after the same thing happens when he touches barred windows^Ch53

Endurance/Survivability

• Saeko kicks him in the face with heels, puncturing his forehead^Ch19
• Has sex with forty women over the course of two weeks, leaving him visibly drained but still able to continue^Ch21
• Capable of fighting effectively even with a broken leg^Ch38
• Gets flattened and pops back into shape^Ch69
• Kaori hits him with a spikey metal ball and a spike goes straight through his head^Ch97
• Drank extensively for two days straight without sleep and was still able to operate at normal efficiency^Ch159

Other

• Gets trampled by a crowd of rabid idol fans that had previously burst through several walls^Ch24
• Gets crushed under a large weight^Ch67
• His Super Mokkori pushes him up against concrete with enough force to crack it^Ch86
• Is standing on the roof of a several story tall abandoned building when Kaori accidentally triggers the explosives she'd filled it with, causing the building to collapse and he survives^Ch175
• Pray for his recovery...^Ch185
  • Oh god not again...^Ch185
• After getting injected with a tranquilizer, he was able to defend a surgeon immediately after, claiming a Yakuza's animosity negated the tranquilizer's effects^Ch186

Cock

Yes, you read that right. Ryo's penis, his erection, his boner, his mokkori. It's frankly capable of some pretty incredible things and seems to have stats that are completely independent of Ryo's other physical abilities. So much so that it's probably best to have an entire section of the thread dedicated to it. I'm not sorry.
Physicals
Strength/Growing Power

• Bursts through bullet proof glass^Ch21
• [NSFW] Supports a 100kg weight^Ch28
• After getting placed in a steel chastity belt, Ryo eventually gets a boner so strong that it breaks through^Ch32
  • Though this does leave him in a... rough state^Ch32
• Bursts straight through a wall (though he was unable to free himself afterwards)^Ch40
• Traps Ryo's head between it and the roof of a car like a vice^Ch46
• Knocks a door off its hinges^Ch73
• Pushes against a store's wooden support beams with enough force to crack concrete and eventually destroy several of the wooden beams^Ch86

Speed

• Moves to avoid a bullet from a revolver when is was an inch away from hitting him^Ch53

Durability

• [NSFW] Is electrocuted when it touches a mannequin that had been attached to an electrical outlet, and after the initial shock Ryo recovered mostly fine^Ch24
• Withstands getting smashed through a wall twice^Ch45
• Caves in Ryo's face when his head is slammed into it by Kaori, implying its durability is higher than that of Ryo himself^Ch48
• A rapist breaks his ankle trying to kick it^Ch48
• [NSFW][Anti-Feat] Gets trapped in the door of a train^Ch104
  • This was revealed to have seriously injured him^Ch104

Abilities
Detecting Women

• His boner let him detect that his assailant was a pretty woman even when he couldn't see them in the dark^Ch12
• Ryo acts up after accidentally walking in on his client who had disguised herself as a man, despite not actually seeing through the disguise himself^Ch77
• [NSFW] Acts as a "beauty detector" to lead him towards beautiful women, but it has been fooled by dirty magazines before^Ch104

Other

• Even if you don't use your eyes Ryo is canonically packing heat^Ch38
• I just... I... uhhh...^Ch45
• Can repeatedly retract it at will and at a moment's notice^Ch45
• [Anti-Feat] Seeing a princess in a leotard did nothing for him, with Ryo describing it as if she has an aura that blocks his horny power^Ch65
  • He later describes this aura as "the repulsion of a girl who didn't know what love was", which disappeared when the princess began to fall for him^Ch65
  • The princess' handler later describes it a "noble aura" that not even Ryo can break through^Ch65

Intelligence

General Knowledge
World Knowledge

• Claims to have every criminal case from the last ten years memorized^Ch10
• Does heavy background checks and memorizes information on women people he's working with^Ch60
• When a woman describes how her sister was shot during a fight between Yakuza, Ryo was already familiar with the situation^Ch102

Weapon/Chemical Knowledge

• Recognized the scent of chloroform in a room despite it being ventilated from it's earlier use^Ch41/40
• Disarms a car bomb^Ch51
• Immediately recognizes an old scar as a bullet wound^Ch102
• Disarms a bomb^Ch119
• When a fire alarm is set off, he quickly recognizes that the smoke is closer to that of a smoke bomb than an ordinary fire^Ch136

Deduction

• Recognizes that his assailant was using old guerilla warfare tactics and that he was about to be driven directly into a minefield^Ch12
• Determines that a room must have a secret passageway based on the kidnapper's rush^Ch41
• Figures out that a man was actually poisoned rather than dying of sickness just by looking at his picture^Ch92

Other

• Disables a mansion's alarms^Ch95
• Determines a woman's measurements with a glance^Ch104
• Tricks his client's uncle into revealing his true motivation for stopping her business^Ch109
• Managed to steal classified information from a police detective's computer using unknown means^Ch118
• Seemingly capable of basic lockpicking (though he may have just kicked the door down)^Ch132

Planning

• Lures a serial killer into attacking him in his room, only for it to be revealed that he had placed a mannequin under his covers while he was hiding under the bed itself, which also allowed his ally to get a glimpse of the mystery killer's face^Ch2
• When a mob boss believed he had led him into a trap, its revealed that Ryo had planned for it, stuffing his car's tailpipe with nails to shred through the enemy force and stealing an armored truck full of drug money^Ch6
• Came up with a plan to fake a man's death by literally shooting him, wounding him to the point where he could still escape before his body was supposedly destroyed in a car explosion^Ch10
  • While the escape route was partially ruined by Ryo's assistants, he managed to stall the man they were trying to fool long enough for the plan to be successful anyway^Ch10
• Impersonates a sergeant so that he can slip a sleeping agent into her entire squad's dinner, then proceeds to impersonate the man their squad was working for and order that they quickly eat their dinner, which leads to every guard being knocked out so that Ryo could engage with the boss unimpeded^Ch20
• Intentionally chose his apartment because there is only one location someone could potentially snipe him from that was over a kilometer away, which allowed him to predict where a Yakuza sniper would set up^Ch60
• After the head of the police narcotics division admits to various crimes to a woman who he is about to eliminate, Ryo announces that it was all captured on a secret microphone he hid in the room^Ch61
• Knowing that his old partner was trying to kill him he used a mirror to trick her so that he could appear behind her^Ch113
• After briefly handling a thug's gun he's revealed to have placed a bug on it so that he will track down the woman Ryo was looking for for him^Ch121

Quick Thinking

• When a man takes a girl hostage in front of a large crowd, Ryo shoots through his own hand to slow the bullet down so that it takes out the assailant but doesn't break the glass behind him^Ch2
  • It's later confirmed that he made sure to avoid the bones in his hand, making this an accuracy feat as well^Ch2
• Uses the sparks from a bullet to briefly illuminate a pitch black room so that he could see his target^Ch3
• After noticing that he was surrounded by a group of Yakuza, he goads a massive man into attacking them so he and his client can make a quick getaway^Ch23
• In order to accomplish his mission of causing a truck to crash without revealing his identity as the City Hunter, he pretends to assault the woman he was with so that she would push him away, sending him tumbling towards the truck so he could clandestinely shoot its tires^Ch74

Mental Fortitude/Pain Resistance

• Doesn't react to the pain of shooting through his own hand^Ch2
• Resists the urge to emote after getting shot twice in the ass with arrows^Ch25
• Breaks his own leg to get himself admitted into a hospital^Ch38
  • Doesn't react after using that same broken leg to foil a hitman which was later said to have broken his leg even further^Ch38
• Bluffs that he swapped an assassin's hidden gun camera with an ordinary one, being so convincing that the assassin both surrendered and wet himself in fear^Ch51
• Was able to deny his urges when a sexy lady was flirting with him in order to keep up the appearance that he was engaged to his client so that her suitors would leave her alone^Ch106
• Doesn't hesitate when a bullet grazes his cheek, continuing his fight^Ch175

Gear

Firearms

• Colt .357 Magnum^Ch2
  • Has a second magnum he keeps in an ankle holster for if the first one runs out of ammo^Ch6
  • Comes with a scope for longer distance shots and a silencer which was effective enough that he didn't draw attention after firing in the middle of a crowd of people^Ch28/10
  • While it theoretically only holds six bullets he has fired more than that either without reloading or by seamlessly reloading between shots^Ch28
  • Strong enough to fire straight through a plane's exterior (also another example of firing more than six shots in rapid succession)^Ch119
  • Was modified by a legendary gunsmith to be more accurate^Ch124
  • Shots partially destroy various gravestones^Ch147
  • Fires straight through a stone wall into the opposite wall^Ch175
• .44 Magnum^Ch19
• .41 Magnum (he considers this to be a "one of a thousand" gun with far greater accuracy than other firearms)^Ch19
• M36 Revolver^Ch7
• M686 Revolver^Ch90
• Rifle^Ch1
• Pump-Action Shotgun^Ch6
• Machine Gun^Ch26
• Submachine Gun^Ch114
• Sniper rifle^Ch27

Ammo

• Full metal jacket bullets for his Colt Python that ricochet off of solid surfaces and produce sparks when they do^Ch3
• A golden .500 Nitro Express that Ryo claimed can move a 2 ton object a whole foot when fired from over 100 meters away, which when fired into a target's ear sticks to the inside of their skull without piercing through^Ch1
• A .30 M1 Carbine Jacket that fires and spins slowly enough that it can shoot through a man's stomach without damaging any internal organs, resulting in a wound rather than a fatal shot^Ch10
• Rubber bullets^Ch28

Other Long Ranged Weapons

• Bazooka^Ch37
  • Blasts large craters in the street^Ch37
  • Kaori later used one to blast sizeable holes in concrete^Ch114
• Twin RPGs^Ch191
• Crossbow with short arrows, making them impossible to pull out^Ch2
• Various throwing knives lining his inner coat^Ch11
• Pachinko balls which he can flick with pinpoint accuracy^Ch102

Melee Weapons

• Garrote wire^Ch4
• Hidden ankle blades^Ch5
• A glove with a metal attachment that gives a secondary blow to whoever he punches^Ch6
• Brass knuckles^Ch25
• A hidden knife in his belt buckle^Ch142

Explosives

• Nitroglycerine, which Ryo claims an entire spilled bottle would blow a pair of kidnappers to smitherines^Ch16
• Remote explosives which he uses to destroy a lab^Ch37
• Dynamite that when used repeatedly eventually resulted in a yakuza clan's headquarters to be completely leveled (the headquarters was a fairly tall building)^Ch84
• His partner Kaori has shown to pack grenades which she would've gotten from his armory^Ch168
  • This is true for flash bangs as well^Ch172

Espionage/Tracking/Surveillance

• Small microphones to bug targets^Ch6
• Police radio^Ch6
• Homing transmitter^Ch42
  • Ryo has dozens of them attached to people of interest around the city, all of which he can track using a device in his car^Ch80
  • Their signals are fairly weak, having a range of only one kilometer^Ch80
• Gear that allows him to listen in on Umibozu's phone call^Ch174

Chemicals

• A ring laced with fast acting poison^Ch5
• A fast acting sleeping pill which he stores in his tooth^Ch20
  • Says that someone he used it on would sleep "at least till tomorrow" (the time of day he used it is unclear but it would presumably be at least 12 hours)^Ch113
• His secret weapon PATCH-WORK PATTERN PANTALOONS (a pair of boxer briefs that are filled with packets of various chemicals, including anesthetics, truth serum, and sleeping agents)^Ch20
• Instant acting sleeping powder^Ch64

Other

• Bullet proof vest (along with fake blood packs to be extra convincing)^Ch6
• Ear plugs^Ch109
• Lighter^Ch142
• The inner lining of his coat is lined with a special chemical that, when burned, causes a massive cloud of tear gas to emit from it and the outer coat is packed with plastic explosives and a detonator^Ch142
  • He also keeps various weapons in the lining of his coat, such as a dismantled revolver, a miniature time bomb that he uses to blow up a criminal organization's ammo depot, and most importantly condoms^Ch141/142

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