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Remember to check our Ai Generator: CandyAI

I (41m) have been married to her (37f) for 13 years with 3 kids. For the couple of months, I had my suspicions that something was going on with her. She travels frequently for work (around 3-4 days every month) and always be very busy during these trips. She would never take video calls and rarely answers voice calls especially at night. Every time when she’s back, she’s cold and distant, and very protective of her phone. The way I tried to deal with my suspicions, is to treat her with the exact opposite, always been supportive to her and her career, showing her how much I missed her and how much the kids miss her, meeting her with flowers and sometimes gifts when she’s back. And this is why she broke down and confessed. She opened the conversation by “why are you so good to me? I am trying to push you away and you’re doing this to me” before breaking down in tears. Turns out she’s doing it with her much younger colleague and travel companion for the past 4 months.
When she spelled it out, I felt empty. No anger, no retaliation, no name calling. I guess I was expecting it. I even said, “if this is what you want, then more power to you.” Then I smiled and went to watch a football match. What kind of cuckold response was that?! I don’t even have that kind of kink. I am all over my head right now trying to explain why I acted like this. Since I met her, I always felt she’s settling with me. Have I just let her manipulate me into submission? A couple of days of awkwardness passed without much talking as I decided to stay late in the office.
Yesterday night, she offered sex, and while the rational response should have been to scream at her and storm away, I was just numb and let it happen. She was more wild and passionate than ever. I guess she thought that would make it up. Today after taking the kids to bed, she wants to have the conversation of where do we go from here and I still don’t know how to feel or what to say. I don’t even know why I am sharing this as I know strangers on the internet cannot tell me how to feel but I needed somewhere to get this off my chest but here it is....

I wasn't planning on watching Thrice Upon A Time. I had not liked the previous films and they seemed like a very inferior product compared to the original anime. However, the good reviews and opinions I saw about it encouraged me to do so. I did it with as open and tolerant a mind as possible, knowing that there was a good chance I wouldn't like the film. "What's the worst that could happen? That I don't like it and continue to prefer the original series? At least I'll be entertained for two and a half hours," I thought. What I did not expect at all is the deep feeling of disgust and repulsion that this film provoked in me, in a way that no other film has provoked in years.
I hated the movie from start to finish. I could spend hours talking about the boring action sequences, about its ugly, excessive CGI that ruins the already ugly mecha, about its disgusting hypersexualization of fucking 14-year-old girls, about how Misato's plans don't make sense, about how Last Kiss almost made me tear my ears off, or its plot full of Deus Ex Machinas with concepts conveniently taken by Hideaki Anno from the place that his last name suggests; but the real reason I'm writing this is because I feel like these movies spit on everything the excellent original work represents.
Not only because as adaptations they fail miserably, but also because they retroactively damage the original work (we'll talk about that later).
Before I begin to explain why the rebuilds are bad adaptations, I want to warn that I am going to do a relatively exhaustive review of the 4 films, so this rant is going to be very long, like staying up late on a winter night with chronic insomnia. That said, let's start to see the reasons:
WHAT IS NEON GENESIS EVANGELION?:
To understand why rebuilds fail as remakes, I must first ask you, dear reader: What does Neon Genesis Evangelion mean to you? (it should at least be familiar to you, unless you've spent your life under a bridge) What do you think about when you read that title, apart from Shinji fucking in front of a comatose Asuka? What comes to mind when you hear the most famous opening in anime history, apart from Shinji strangling the otter against Happy Thursday's throat? (in more ways than one). If your answer is: "It's a mecha anime for emos with a coomer protagonist", that's fine, I respect that; but please press the red "X" in the top right corner of your screen, you can now leave.
Now, I'm going to get serious and explain my definition: Evangelion is a work about the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties of forming emotional bonds that human beings have, as well as the consequences of trying to separate from them for fear of rejection. It is not a story about heroes. It's not a story about saving the world. In Evangelion there are neither heroes nor villains, but rather a group of emotionally broken characters trying to be happy in a world just as broken as them. The real enemy of Evangelion is not the angels. It is the lack of communication and empathy.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilema_del_erizo
It is that same lack of communication and empathy that progressively causes everything to go to hell to conclude with a cathartic and bleak ending, but consistent with the themes of the work. It is therefore an existentialist work about human relationships disguised as a mecha anime. This, added to a unique visual style, daring direction, and mechas like never before seen on television, made Evangelion one of the most influential anime in all of history, as well as a true commercial success for Gainax Studio. Success that encouraged other studios to carry out projects such as Cowboy Bebop or Serial Experiment Lain, taking anime towards a new golden age.
Even today you can hear the echoes of that Third Impact of End of Evangelion in 1997. The list of works influenced by Evangelion both inside and outside of Japan is endless. Of course, it is not a perfect work, nor extensive in errors: its target audience is ambiguous, many of the biblical references are more for decoration than anything else, and several aspects of the ending(s) could have been explained better. However, many of these errors can be attributed to a lack of time and budget during the production of the original anime (which was quite chaotic and improvised); therefore, they are understandable and forgivable.
In summary, we can conclude that Evangelion is a dark, introspective, provocative and unique work (at least at its time). This is also combined with a unique visual identity and complex characters whose relationships intertwine and interconnect throughout the work. The sum of all these factors is what led Evangelion to be such a critically acclaimed work that it transcended its own genre and became an icon of popular culture. And this in turn constitutes the biggest mistake of rebuilds; because they commit the biggest sin that an adaptation can commit: denying everything that made the original work great.
ADAPTING WITHOUT A CLEAR PURPOSE:
One of the biggest problems with these remakes (as well as a clear example of what I'm saying) is their total narrative inconsistency. Let me explain: the first rebuilds movie (1.11) is a literal copy-paste of the first 6 chapters of the original anime, with practically the same scenes, dialogues and even music. This makes the film completely redundant and unnecessary (and makes one wonder why it exists); But in any case, the message is being conveyed that the purpose of these remakes is to adapt the original series as faithfully as possible to the cinema with a current animation style.
However, the second movie (2.22) is a... something. A pastiche of new and old things where the plot broadly follows that of the original anime, but with many things changed (of course, for the worse) and a different ending. All this compressing no less than 14 chapters of the original anime into two and a half hours. Here the message that one can infer is that it seeks to adapt the original story (very briefly) by changing and rearranging certain elements, now more in line with what an adaptation is.
However, then we get to 3.33 and... well, after a 14-year because reasons timeskip, we're now in a post-post-apocalyptic world (repetition intended) where ex-Nerv members fight against Nerv itself. Nerv in giant spaceships, there are mechas everywhere, Misato is a sociopath, and Shinji and Asuka still look exactly the same because "DAMN JEBA." Here we can infer that what is sought is to create a totally new story and take it in different directions than the original. The following movie (3.0+1.01) is the only one that is consistent with this purpose.
Whether all these narrative pirouettes were planned in advance or not (clearly not), we can see that there is a clear incongruity between what is intended to be done and what is finally done. All of this generates a strong narrative chaos where the elements and themes of the original anime are mixed with the new ones, creating a total inconsistency. Since also in 3.0+1.01 it is revealed (unfortunately to me) that everything is part of the same universe and this is not really a remake, the excuse of "they are different universes, they don't have to be the same" doesn't work either.
In fact, one thing that you will see me comment a lot throughout this article is the lack of narrative consistency of these remakes, especially in comparison to the original work.
A HEDGEHOG WITHOUT TICKS:
No character in Evangelion better embodies the central theme of the work than Shinji Ikari, its own protagonist. Shinji is not a hero: he is not brave. He is not a genius. He is not charismatic. He is not selfless. He doesn't want to save the world. His reason for piloting the Eva is to gain recognition and appreciation from others; especially from his father, whom he hates, but at the same time admires; He feels that she despises him, but he also wants (and needs) that she loves him. Shinji spends the entire series in the dilemma between escaping from what hurts him (classic avoidance behavior) or accepting it and moving on, even at the risk of being hurt again.
This theme is rock solid throughout the entire original series: from the first to the last chapter of the anime, and from minute one to the very end of End of Evangelion. Even the opening itself makes several visual references to Shinji's hedgehog dilemma. This can make Shinji an infuriating character for audiences accustomed to typical anime protagonists; but it's those same things that make Shinji such a unique and special character. He deconstructs and subverts the hero's journey. And it's not as if this hinders the plot: Shinji is not proactive, but he also does not spend the series crying, as many often claim.
https://files.catbox.moe/eolho0.mp4
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomito
And as you may already be imagining, the Shinji of the rebuilds does not have a hedgehog's dilemma. Or rather, he has it, but only during the first movie (copy-paste of the original anime) and part of the second. This is a problem, because it creates a strong narrative inconsistency (again) where it seems that two Shinjis exist at the same time or that this one is bipolar. As of 3.33, Shinji's entire character arc is based on trying to redeem himself for his past mistakes first by unleashing "Almost Third Impact" (what a stupid name) and subsequently preventing Kaworu's death while trying to right said mistake.
Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. The problem is that I have already seen the arc of the hero who fails to eventually rise up and succeed in 100 trillion works, while the hedgehog's dilemma in none more than in Evangelion (at least in my case). Which makes Shinji a much less interesting character. Some might argue that in 3.0 + 1.01 Shinji does have such a dilemma because he spends half the movie crawling on the ground; but there is not a hedgehog's dilemma, but rather depression for having seen Kaworu's head go KAWOOM (I know, the joke was very bad, but if he didn't do it, I would explode too).
End of Evangelion's Shinji did have such a dilemma because the reason for his depression was having been manipulated and used by someone he had previously opened up to and then forced to kill him, not for failing in his mission (in fact, he was very efficient in her mission to separate Kaworu's head from her body), which in turn brings sexual (and later, deadly) results for Asuka. I insist: narrative consistency. But this is not the worst: the worst thing is that at certain moments in these films, Shinji becomes the typical shonen savior hero, betraying the central point of his character in the original series.
https://youtu.be/E-x-f2OrWeA
A perfect example of this is the ending of 2.22, where the fight in chapter 19 (COINCENTLY from where the original anime starts to get more introspective) is transformed into a ridiculous shipping attempt, with Rei turned into a damsel in distress and Shinji into a savior hero while spouting all the typical cliché lines, topped off with a disgustingly cheesy ending. But of course, how could it end otherwise? With Shinji's Eva practicing cannibalism on Zeruel's corpse (the original scene)? Too disturbing for current times. Shinji and Rei fighting as a team to defeat him? Yes of course. Rei has enough not being in the kitchen. Besides, Asuka already takes care of that, hoping to receive her alpha male's cock as a reward.
https://youtu.be/TPS0Uk0TkP0
Because, like any good modern anime protagonist, Shinji now has a harem.
FETISHING WITHOUT CONTROL:
Of all the characters who are now part of Shinji's harem, the one who is most harmed by this is Rei (Asuka's case is different, and the other character is an infernal creation from Anno's sick mind). Not only because acting like a bitch in heat goes totally against her personality and because of the murky situation, considering that she is a clone of Shinji's mother, but also because her character is reduced to a mere fetish object that does things cute to produce tenderness in the viewer and make coomers buy their figurines.
Rei is an interesting character because he raises numerous existential questions based on the ship of Theseus paradox: the concept of identity, to what extent we can consider ourselves still ourselves, the construction and definition of a "self", etc. But here, her screen time piloting her Unit 00 is minimal (COINCENTLY most of it in 1.11) and her exploits are practically irrelevant or non-existent, also being reduced to a mere damsel in distress at the end of 2.22, as I said before.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradoja_de_Teseo
In 3.0+1.01 he doesn't even get to pilot an Eva. Her role in the film is to cause pity and produce tenderness with her total ignorance (I see that the idiot Anno forgot that all the Reis are born with basic knowledge) while she is seen with different hairstyles, different outfits, working as a farmer, taking care of a baby, etc. In short, a fetish object where she wants the public to value her for how "moe" she is instead of for her abilities or as a character. In Anno's mind, feminism advances in reverse. Ironic, considering that it was precisely Rei who unintentionally started the moe culture.
Of course, it goes without saying that Rei is not the only one who suffers from this extreme fetishization of her character in these films. Under the excuse of paying homage to End of Evangelion, Asuka now always wears an eye patch (needless to say it has nothing to do with having been injured there), a cap with cat ears, in addition to having a very convenient trend for the coomer public of walking naked and semi-naked through other people's houses. She sometimes puts on the plugsuit, but near the end of the movie, it is conveniently torn off, lest we forget that this is made by the Japanese.
One of the best examples of how this hareminication has destroyed the main female characters is in the elevator scene. In the original anime, Rei tries to advise Asuka in a time of particular vulnerability and depression. Rei's limited social skills, coupled with Asuka being Asuka, cause her to misinterpret the attempt to help as mockery and an act of condescension, triggering a slap from her towards Rei and a worsening of her already strained relationship and Asuka's mental state. Rei doesn't fight back because she knows that doing so would only make things even worse.
It is an excellent dramatic scene because it once again brings to the foreground the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties between human relationships, very much in line with what Evangelion is. In 2.22, this scene is gratuitously introduced and turned into two horny bitches fighting over which of the two will let their alpha male penetrate first, with a highly OC Rei stopping the assault attempt in a 100% gangsta way to make her see more "cool." The scene doesn't even make plot sense, because Asuka at that moment is not even depressed, and in the original anime this occurs at a much later time under a very different context.
and speaking of asuka...
SOMEONE CALLED ASUKA:
When I started watching these movies, I was afraid that Asuka's character had undergone modifications to make her more "palatable" to new audiences. What took me completely by surprise was how radically different this Asuka is from the original. So different that they can't even be considered the same character. To show it very clearly, we are going to review the personality of both:
Asuka from the original anime: An energetic and outgoing half-German, half-Japanese girl (actually it's 1/4, but who cares) who loves to be the center of attention and have everyone praise her due to the lack of parental love received during her childhood having been abandoned by her father and supplanted by her mother, who suffered from severe mental disorders. She is extremely proud and competitive because she feels that being Eva's pilot is the only thing that gives her an identity and purpose, which makes her tend to become quickly frustrated when things don't go her way and become defensive when she feels like she is being outmaneuvered. . He loves to make fun of others (especially Shinji), to the point of being cruel at times, but he does not do it out of malice, but rather to compensate for his enormous inferiority complex due to the rejection suffered by his mother and having witnessed her. committed suicide (and possibly even tried to kill her) the day she was chosen as Eva's pilot and came running to wish her a Happy Thursday. She admires Kaji and wants to fuck him because she hates her own adolescence, she needs to feel adult and independent due to suffering from a certain Electra complex for having lacked a true father figure during her childhood. She has a sweet and vulnerable nature, but she rarely expresses it to anyone except her best friend Hikari and I better stop this now because too much text.
Rebuild Asuka (hereinafter "Asuka"): A girl soldier created by Nerv as part of a series of clones who has always been alone and thinks she doesn't need anyone, although she secretly wishes to have a family. She hits and insults others for no reason, she yells a lot, never smiles or makes jokes, and hates socializing with others, which doesn't stop her from looking for Shinji's dick within 2 days of meeting him. She always plays video games while someone is talking to her and at night she talks to herself with a doll like an autistic person.
As we can see, these two characters not only look nothing alike: several of their traits directly contradict each other. Because they look alike, they are not even alike in aesthetics: the original Asuka had red hair and dressed in the traditional feminine way, while "Asuka" is light brown and dresses in a tomboy style (which I'm not saying is wrong, I'm just commenting to show the radical difference). It's not that they have changed Asuka: it's that they have directly murdered her to supplant her by someone with whom she only shares her first name (not even her last name). And needless to say, the change has been VERY for the worse.
To describe the first character, I had to spend 15 damn lines, and even then I had to leave out many important facets of his personality, his development in the original series and his entire character arc in EoE, because if I didn't have one endless bible For the second, 6 lines were enough for me, and I could have had more left over if I had been more concise. The first character is a complex and three-dimensional character, with multiple facets, edges and layers. She feels like a real person. The second character is a generic tsundere that you can find in any mecha anime of the week. She is not even comparable to the first; She's not even a good character.
We cannot speak of Flanderization because not even the most basic traits of the character have been respected. Nor can we speak of a deconstruction because that same absence of basic traits means that there is no character construction on which to stand in the first place. Obviously, this change greatly resents the interactions between characters: the original Asuka was a charismatic and fun character with the ability to drive the plot on her own (as soon as she appears in chapter 8 of the original anime she is already changing the entire dynamic between characters) , while "Asuka" is mostly only in the background or to fight; He doesn't even have a character arc as such. In fact, in 2.22 he has even less screen time than several supporting characters.
His chemistry with Shinji is also non-existent (and I'm not just referring to the romantic level) and they barely have any development together. They like each other here because... ehhhh... she likes how he cooks and he thinks she's hot? It's not that the AsuShinji (or ShinSuka, or whatever the hell it's called) here is forced: it's just that it doesn't even make sense. The only reason people still ship them together is because they did it in the 90s. Yūko Miyamura's performance also feels very lackadaisical and lacks passion, which is quite unlike her. Although perhaps this is intentional, since her character always talks as if she has the spear of Longinus permanently stuck up her rectum. In fact, the few times she says her iconic "Anta baka?" This one feels very forced, in addition to not having her characteristic high-pitched tone.
In short, the character has suffered the same fetishization as Rei (gamer girl, tomboy, one-eyed, etc.), but also with the aggravating factor that not even her basic characteristics have been respected here. This is especially disconcerting when we take into account that the rest of the characters have their original personalities more or less intact (albeit simplified). Even more disconcerting if we take into account that Asuka is possibly the most popular character in all of Evangelion, and even more so if we consider that she is Anno's favorite character (in fact, the initial idea was for Asuka to be the protagonist).
https://evaresources.wordpress.com/der-mond/
Given this, the inevitable question arises: "Why?" What was the point of turning Asuka into an inferior and tsundere copy of Rei, even more so when there are already three clones? It has always been rumored that Asuka is not popular in Japan, but that is completely false. The only semi-rational explanation I can think of is that they did it to please the haters. It's no secret that a portion within the Evangelion fandom (and outside of it) hates Asuka with a passion. They see her as someone toxic and cruel who dedicates herself to screwing others for no reason, without understanding that you don't have to like a well-written character.
https://imgur.com/a/KznXE1x
What these people fail to understand is that Asuka's verbal abuse is a defense mechanism to avoid opening up to others, since Asuka constantly says things that do not fit with what she really feels or thinks (clear proof is chapter 16 from the original series). It's not like it matters much, considering they were never more than an extremely vocal minority. That the character is so popular is proof of this. The great irony of all this is that the new "Asuka" is a much more unpleasant and detestable character than the original, since she lacks the redeemable qualities of the original and her moments of comic relief.
And if until now I have been more or less benevolent with this remake, this is something I cannot forgive: because changing a character just because a group of people doesn't like it is one of the most cowardly and pathetic acts in the world. that a writer can fall. The fact that this was also at the expense of one of the best female characters in the history of anime and with a wonderful story arc makes it even more bloody. Any other halfway competent writer would have responded with this.
https://youtu.be/5Js0ea6yPKM
...although if we go by Ockham's razor, the most likely explanation is simply that Hideaki Anno is mentally retarded.
A CHARACTER TO DESTROY A FRANCHISE AND BIND IT TO DARKNESS:
Mari Makinami Illustrious A.K.A María Iskariote (what an appropriate last name) is one of the worst creations ever made by humans. Not since the atomic bombs has humanity created something so horrible. Worse than the holocaust. Worse than fascism. Worse than Facebook memes. Worse than stepping on a lego. I would even dare to say that it is worse than pizza with pineapple. No character better reflects Anno's mental decline or better embodies all the problems of the current anime industry than this trash.
This character contributes absolutely nothing to the plot, he does not contribute at any time to its advancement, he lacks his own development or story, he does absolutely nothing relevant in the 3 films in which he appears, and he does not even have a defined personality. So much so, that all of her scenes could be eliminated or replaced by any other character and she would barely affect the plot, or not affect it at all.
The character is so frighteningly one-dimensional that she doesn't even show different emotions or moods during the three films in which she appears, always being perpetually happy and carefree even in tense situations for literally no reason. This leads to moments as surreal as her starting to sing and hum in scenes that are intended to be serious or dramatic (or so I think; perhaps what they wanted was to turn this into an unintentional comedy), again generating a gigantic narrative dissonance. The last third of 3.33 is the best example of this.
But that's not the worst: this character is clearly made for otaku coomers to masturbate to. She has almost every fetish possible: glasses/lenses (whatever they call it in your country), pigtails, miniskirt, schoolgirl, saying "nya", big tits, obsession with smell and tight outfits, etc. To make matters worse in 3.0 + 1.01 we discover that she is 48 years old, so we can also add the milf fetish. Evidently, her tits always bounce in her plugsuit (she would swear that never happened in the original series) and there are many close-ups of her ass. In addition to constantly making sexual advances towards Shinji, which also turns this piece of shit into a potential pedophile.
If the thing simply ended there, we could say that this character remains a mere annoying and unnecessary secondary character. Unfortunately, the character is also disruptive to the plot, occupying long filler scenes that do nothing more than waste time that is already scarce in a film, and that could have been used on something else more interesting; like Pen Pen watching TV, Pen Pen eating a sardine, etc. Without going any further, both 2.22, 3.33 and 3.0+1.01 begin with a long filler scene of her hitting on her. Well, to be honest, the 3.33 one is more Asuka, but this abortion is still out there fucking and singing.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that discussing why this character exists is much more interesting than any other debate that can be created about these films. I still think about it. However, the ending of 3.0+1.01 gives a good clue: the character was created solely and exclusively to stay with Shinji. I can only imagine that Anno made this tired of the fandom shipping and the arguments over who Shinji should stay with, so he decided to end the matter by creating his own ideal waifu with all the fetishes he likes in a woman to end it. with this. It's disgusting, but considering we're talking about a Japanese, totally possible.
It's surreal coming from the man who harshly criticized the use of anime as escapism and the excessive female objectification and sexualization in it, but it's the only semi-decent explanation I can think of. Basically, he is what is called a mascot character in literature. That would explain why this character never shows doubts, nor any kind of internal conflict, or why he is a better Eva pilot than Asuka and Rei themselves. It is also very revealing about the quality of the Rebuilds: creating a self-insert OC just to be the partner of the protagonist or another main character is the quintessential trait of all bad fanfiction.
However, among all this tsunami of disqualifications, I also have to say something positive: spending three movies giving hope to the shippers only to have Shinji be cuckolded simultaneously by Rei and Asuka in the last one and end up with a character with which had zero development (before 3.0+1.01 I didn't even know its name) is a true trolling masterclass, worthy of the best of ball pumpers. Only a true emperor of evil would have come up with such a twisted and at the same time perfect way to screw over a large part of the fandom. I give you my tens, Anno.
THE ANTI-UNIVERSE OF ANTI-NARRATIVE:
Of all the new concepts that Anno brings up at the last minute from the place named after his last name, none stands out more than the "anti-universe." Or, as I like to call it, the "anti-good writing." Basically because it perfectly represents all the problems of the rebuilds and their script. In the final stretch of 3.0+1.01 we have the last-minute revelation of a quantum plane of existence capable of turning imagined worlds into reality and changing this through Lilith, which cannot be understood by the human mind (wow, WHAT CONVENIENT!) and whose existence has never been mentioned or even hinted at in the entire franchise until CONCIDENTLY the aforementioned last third of the film.
In other words, a gigantic Deus Ex Machina created in an improvised way to avoid repeating End of Evangelion and forcing a happy ending where Shinji creates an ideal universe for each character (although that is questionable, as we will see later). And it is far from being the only one: the spear of Cassius, the Eva of Infinity, the key of Nebuchadnezzar, the Book of Life, and so on. None of these concepts are integrated into the plot in an organic and natural way, but rather they arise spontaneously at its convenience when it needs it. Except for the new "Super Berserker Mode" of the Evas, which is simply a power-up to sell figurines.
As I said before, if at least this were an alternate universe separate from the original anime, all this bombardment of concepts pulled out of the ass would be a little better justified. But the revelation that everything is a cycle and we are in the same universe as the original work only makes it even worse, generating countless inconsistencies about why they never mentioned this or never used that (what's the point of the seeds of life If you can create universes simply by imagining them?). Although without a doubt, the worst of all these new concepts is "the curse of Eve."
Here we have a new concept with very strong repercussions completely launched, which is not even an explanation in itself, it does not answer anything and to make matters worse, the same films contradict each other several times. Needless to say, this is a cheap excuse for the three main characters not to grow up and continue sexualizing 14-year-old girls after the most gratuitous timeskip ever seen. And speaking of timeskip, putting such a long one in the middle of the story is a first-time writing error. If you are writers, never do that: the bigger the time jump, the more things you will be forced to explain, since the less you do it, the more plot holes will form as a result.
And of course, here it explains little to nothing of what happened these 14 years. Like where Nerv got such a tremendous base from, if in 3.33 it seemed that together with Rei and Kaworu it was made up of four people. Or how they have gotten such an army of pseudo-Evas, especially when these are supposed to be extremely expensive (wow, and SEELE with all her unlimited resources was barely 9 in EoE). Or worse yet, how Kaji managed to stop Almost Third Impact (seriously, the name couldn't be stupider). None of these questions are answered at any time. Obviously because they can't do it.
Evangelion has always been characterized by leaving things up to the public's interpretation, but here I feel that they are vilely taking advantage of it so as not to have to give any kind of explanations. And in the case at hand, do not even pay attention to contradictions. Like Touji and Kensuke got on Unit 01 and that doesn't stop them from being 28 after the timeskip. Or that Mari appears to be 14 despite looking like an adult in Gendo's photos and flashbacks, plus the fact that Evas, by simple logic, could not exist back then.
The height of absurdity is when near the end of 3.0+1.01 the "unexpected" revelation occurs (actually we all saw it coming) that everything is a cycle and we are facing a reboot of the original timeline, of which only Kaworu seems to be conscious. He let them guess without giving them any clues how many times Kaworu mentioned or even hinted at such a thing in the original series. Needless to say, nothing is ever explained about it: Who created that cycle? (Adam? Lilith? The First Ancestral Race? Hideaki Anno's last name?) For what purpose? How does it work? How long does it last? Why is Kaworu the only one who remembers him? Do these remakes make sense?
THE DEATH OF A STYLE:
Fortress-cities folding in on themselves. Designs and constructions oscillating between the nineties, the utopian and the cyberpunk. Meshes of flesh and blood animated with the souls of the dead fighting with classical music in the background. A mysterious and ambiguous lore where aliens, technology and conspiracies mix with gnostic, cabalistic elements and the most esoteric aspects of Christianity (did the History Channel predict Evangelion?). Minimalist posters moving quickly between frames. Monochrome backgrounds flashing aggressively (bad luck if you were epileptic). So consistent with its themes that the A.T. fields themselves. They were an allegory of the hedgehog's dilemma (I'm not making this up, Kaworu himself says it in chapter 23).
https://imgur.com/a/2M0eDVK
The sum of all these factors is what allowed Evangelion to build an absolutely unique identity, the one that allowed people to say "hey, that's an Eva!". Starting in 3.33, all that is lost to disappear in 3.0+1.01 in favor of giant spaceships, mechanical mechas made of pure CGI, battles full of colored lights, multiverses and time loops. I'm not saying these elements are bad in and of themselves, but I've already seen a thousand mecha stories with these. For that, I start watching any of the versions of Gundam or Macross. I could also complain about the boring shots without audiovisual language and always using the same color palette, but to be fair, that is an endemic evil of current anime.
And like any bad remake, 3.0+1.01 can't help but pay homage to several scenes from the original work, completely failing to understand the point of said scenes. As an example, we have Ritsuko shooting Gendo for no reason other than to pay homage to End of Evangelion, ignoring that the context between both scenes is very different. Furthermore, here they never explain the relationship that exists between the two, so the scene makes no sense; especially for those who never saw the original series, who will also find mentions of facts that these films have never shown or bothered to explain.
Even worse is when they try to pay homage to the iconic battle between Asuka and the Eva Series. Not only because of the total absence of the graphic violence and choreography of the original, but because what makes that fight so remembered is its emotional component, since it is preceded by a narrative catharsis in which Asuka discovers that the Her mother's soul was always in Unit 02, in addition to being marked by the constant tension of knowing if she will be able to finish the fight before the Eva's energy supply runs out. Here the Evas never run out of energy (why do they need the power supply, then?), so there is no such tension.
In the original fight Asuka may not be shooting 1387945 Evas with a super cannon larger than her as she falls through an... interdimensional hole?; But there you feel every blow, you can appreciate every movement in detail, and the dramatic tension in crescendo only improves the result. If this were a shonen, the logical thing is that Asuka would win. After all, her character arc has been wrapped up in a climactic way. Unfortunately, this is Evangelion. When the Evas Series manage to cause a mortal wound with the pseudo-spear of Longinus and the energy counter reads zero, the outcome is already decided. What happens next is horrific (Asuka's enemies are cruel to her even after she is dead), and just as horrifying are Yūko Miyamura's screams and Miki Nagasawa's performance as Maya announcing that Asuka is dead. In the Rebuilds there are no performances anywhere near that level.
End of Evangelion will be as dark and uncomfortable to watch as you want, but it is a film where all those responsible put their souls into achieving the best possible result, both on a technical and artistic level.
and well, I think that for today I have already downloaded too much, an apology for the large amount of text, I will make a second part at another time because I have so many things to comment on... anyway, I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night or when you read this .

I’ve always been the type to spoil the people that I date, I just find great satisfaction in making them happy. But recently I’ve taken this “spoiling” about 100 steps further and gone absolutely all out. 5 months ago I came out to my girl about being deeply interested in Cuckolding and Findom. Since then, my girl has had a 100% free pass to meet and mess around with whoever she wishes. She also has 100% control over my wallet and finances. Our current relationship consists of me working as many hours as I possibly can while she doesn't work at all and just enjoys and spoils herself. I find it extremely thrilling knowing that I am slaving away at work all day while she's off enjoying herself, draining my wallet and "cheating" on me. She's enjoying herself, buying whatever she wants and having sex with new guys. She regularly sends me updates when she's with her guy friends and I get constant notifications on my phone every time she uses my card.
This is from 5 month of progress, but I'll hopefully be posting monthly updates from here on out. I get so thrilled and horny every time I see a new charge on my card pop up. I love the idea that my girl is using me for my money and spoiling other guys with gifts and sex. I'm keeping track of everything because I love seeing it all accumulate into a bigger and bigger number over time. Feel free to check out the spreadsheet to see how I’m doing so far. After rent and other necessary expenses, I’ve determined that my annual limit is somewhere between $60-70k ($165-192 average per day). I’ve told my girl this, but I’ve also explained that going into debt is okay as well.
For context, my girl has been with 7 different guys since we began back in December. Here is some background on each of them:

• Paul (11DEC -> now): Paul is her favorite. They met on Tinder back on day 1 and they've been talking and hanging out regularly ever since then. I've never met Paul and do not intend to. As far as he's concerned, my girl is just cheating and he's a side piece FWB.
• Andrew (27DEC -> 28DEC): Andrew had potential to be a long term FWB, but unfortunately he got cold feet because he was also in a relationship. They still talk from time to time and sext each other but they've only ever met up and had sex once. Maybe he'll come back in the future.
• Kai (2JAN -> 14JAN): My girl claimed he was more interested in the "free money" than he was in her, so he didn't stay around for long. They hung out on multiple occasions and had sex a few times, but when they chatted it was mostly conversation about how he wanted to buy X thing instead of them going to do fun things.
• Sam & Marc (3FEB): This was just as one night stand since they aren't from the area. She paid for their tab at the club and had her first MMF threesome with them! She told me how much she loves sucking one cock while the other one fucks her.
• Shawn (10FEB -> now): Shawn mostly only hits up my girl when he wants to have a date night and sex afterwards. They don't hang out much but she really enjoys the dates and she likes the fact that he's older and more mature (39). He is also married so that limits their interactions, but the occasional date night every month or so is nice.
• Maurice (13APR -> now): Maurice is the only one who actually knows about our cuckold and findom dynamic, and he's really into it. The other guys just assume that I am unaware and that my girlfriend is a cheating whore. I really like Maurice though because she gets to send me more updates, pictures and videos while they're together.

There are countless YouTube videos of Indian people copying western culture (ONS, cuckold, cheating, open relationships, polyamory, clubbing, wokeness, judging their own kind for not speaking English, western dress sense, etc)
If they can copy all this and call it “cool”, why not learn from them when it comes to behaving properly in public, respecting rules and etiquette and punctuality? We don’t want to care about personal hygiene (the stink stereotype), we don’t want to throw litter in dustbins because, “it’s not mine, why should I?” Call someone out for littering, and they’ll yell at you. Ask someone to not jump a red light, they’ll yell at you, maybe even beat you up.
Worry about your own country and its issues, maybe learn a thing or two about etiquette and hygiene and shut up.
But Indians who move abroad will suddenly start following every damn rule in the book.
If you behave well, you’ll be told, “bhai, yeh India hai, saale firangi”

Hi all. We have been posting pics and videos of our sex life for years on a number of swingers sites and always had a great response.
Lately we have been thinking about starting an onlyfans or fansly. Most content will just be us but as a Hotwife/cuckold couple we would like to find UK based male stars to film with.
This is all very new to us and we are not sure where to start. We are new to Reddit and as yet don’t have a twitteX account, but have heard that’s a good way to connect, yet how do we find people on there.
Sorry for the noob questions, we would really appreciate any advices

I AM BACK AGAIN, my last appearance was in the Destinysubreddit AMA from 7 months ago which you guys can find from my reddit profile post history.
Why am I here?

• Because I am an individual, who from the day he was born as a little baby, had forsaken the very concept of grass, let alone touching or seeing it. Where I walk, grass dies.
• Destiny requested "the strongest soldier" for this current Ludwig arc. And when it comes specifically to hatred of Ludwig, QTCinderella, Hasan, Pokimane, or any other subhuman streamer that's making multimillions when they deserve probably around 60k a year max, then I AM THE STRONGEST SOLIDER.
• I am here to deliver to you guys the holy texts detailing the prophecy

From February 15th, 2022 I wrote:
"I dont see streamers the same way anymore. I see them all as subhuman trash, highly entitled, low skill, low talent, low intelligence, low mental maturity, extremely high ego (Hasan piker), only care about themselves, view themselves as gods of success, never had to do anything difficult in their entire lives, would kill themselves in 1 week if their life depended on getting an engineering degree or doctorate or medical school and had no back up plan, when they talk about difficulty being having to organize 6 panel guests on a show, when they think they deserve 750k a year because they organized 6 panel guests, while championing socialism and talking about how unfair life is and how they will be the ones to fix it, not even referring to open socialists- even normies like Ludwing will champion this type of stuff, while completely denying their looks had anything to do with their success, when they unintentionally and eventually reveal how sociopathic some of them truly are (Kacey, Ludwig, Asmon, Hasan, list of names is unnecessary just ALL of them), how they will betray or throw anyone under the bus for the clout numbers, when I see clips of Yassuo/Moe telling the delivery guy "I make too much money to be dealing with you right now" or the famous Nmplol/sodapoppin clip where they were flexxing their money on some random normie IRL or hasan piker who if he gets his ego hurt enough he will go on huge ego rants about how the guy in chat is a nobody, or kaceytron who will just call some incel in her chat jealous that she makes so much money, all while ALL of these people virtue signal about how jeff bezos or elon musk didnt deserve their money or something."
(Totally forgot I called out Kacey too LMAO)
"The greed of the twitch streamer probably far surpasses elon musk or jeff bezos or anyone else, the twitch streamer is the true hoarder of endless wealth. What are Hasan, Ludwing, Asmon, Austin, QT and everyone else doing with all that money? Do they have kids or anyone to support? They must have an insane amount of wealth combined together. They all preach so much about improving society, telling others or politicians what they should change to improve society. What have any of these people done to improve society? The best thing one can do for society right now is to email their state reps or senators and get them informed on what twitch tv is ASAP. Its a young and new industry but the sooner we get the boomers informed on it, the sooner we can crush this infested rat fuck entitlement nest with taxes. 80% tax rate for every streamer making above 1mill and the money goes directly to the homeless in their area, that way streamers can actually practice what they preach when they wealth transfer millions from their young viewers to themselves....Cant wait for Hasan piker to find a reason to oppose the policy though. "
In October, 2023 during my AMA, I wrote:
***"***Do you actually hate Streamers?
-YES! I started the anti-streamer arc back in 2021 when I sent Steven a schizo email about QTcinderella, KaceyTron, Ludwig, Hasan, and Vaush, and many others. When QT and Ludwig actually backstabbed Destiny in 2021? he went on stream and said "I think the schizo guy was actually right, streamers dont deserve the money they make". Based and true Steven."
Further comments:
Its absolutely no surprise to me nor anyone that POKIMANE is going around liking tweets shitting on Destiny/taking Ludwig's side. She's of course doing it to protect her wealth, I absolutely know this as fact because I study the skull shape of streamers. Her past friendly-terms with Destiny nor her "opinions/morals" hold any tangible shape or form and instead, is merely just an amorphous blob of void that takes whatever shape it needs to take to protect her wealth at any given time. With the greatest irony, the best pro-socialist arguments have always been just studying the "aristocracy" of these same 10-15 multimillionaire streamers that huddle together to protect their wealth over anything else. What else would you expect from a streamer scum that makes multi-millions of USD that they dont deserve, and got high off the feeling of "success"?
Literally just look at all the streamers huddling up in a ball (to protect their wealth and clout) under the replies of Destiny's tweet, pretending that Destiny's tweet showing a picture of QTCinderella is suddenly the red line that is THE MOST OFFENSIVE THING THEY HAVE EVER SEEN AND THEY ARE SO OFFENDED, when ALL of these people, in mass, covered Destiny's divorce with Melina LIVE as it happened and then threw sly comments at Destiny, open-relationships, "cuckolding", and other random shit, while taking Melina's side? Look at the comments section of ANY, LITERALLY ANY video covering Destiny's divorce from these specific streamers. Yet the one picture of QTCinderella is the offensive tweet? Well, streamers mere existence offends me, why dont they quit that?
If this post gets upvoted to the front and Ludwig happens to read it (because we all know hes browsing the destiny subreddit), then here are my comments for Ludwig, the disgusting rat I've hated since February 2022 -
Hey Ludwig, you know that procedure that red pillers like to recommend men get, the vasectomy? To make sure any stuff doesnt come out down there? Well after watching your stream, I think you should get that same procedure but for your mouth/throat instead, to make sure there isnt any stuff coming out of there either. AND the reason why this is super important, and why it would be like killing 2 birds with 1 stone, is because not only would it prevent us from hearing the retarded shit you say, but it would also prevent any Cum from flying out of your mouth and getting QTCinderella pregnant on accident, because you know.... of all the Hasan Piker's Cum you guzzle down your throat on the daily (to protect your wealth). Wouldnt want QTCinderella getting pregnant with Hasan Piker's child, specifically because there's no guarantee Hasan would pay child support, he would probably just pay in exposure LMFAO. Oh and also dont forget the utilitarian argument, we wouldnt want to have to make all those extra visits to the hospital to drop off all those extra chromosomes the child may have from being related to Hasan Piker.
Bonus point - Where the fuck is MrMouton these days? Feel like the dude became a full time streamer and then just disappeared.
JK, anytime I wonder where MrMouton is, I just que up on my fungus 7 League account and MrMouton is in every single game.
EDIT1: forgot to add that the only reason Vaush doesn't do debates anymore is because he's realized he can maintain his current wealth level without debates and that, if he DID DO debates and embarrassed himself on the Israel/Palestine, he would just lose following aka lose wealth. So like everyone with the streamer DNA, he protects his wealth over any values/principles.

**IF YOU ARE AN ESCORT OR OTHERWISE LOOKING FOR MONEY - I AM NOT INTERESTED.**
Ok now that that's out of the way - I 'm a 44 year old WM, fit, D/D free, looking for naughty friends (females or couples) for daytime fun (I work nights).
I'm open-minded, well educated, world-traveled, and I love a good conversation. I'm into many things sexually..just ask! I also like hotwives, cuckold couples, breeding kinks, picture/video, and more!
Please be drama free, horny, REAL, and DTF. Age/ethnicity/marital status not important.

22M. I watched porn for the first time at the age of 15. I used to watch it occasionally. I used to live in a hostel where mobile phones were not allowed. So there was no access to porn. I was masturbating without porn. It was not bad, and it was not an addiction. But then lockdown happened.
I was 18. I was at home; I had mobile and Internet. And that's where things started to get bad. Earlier, it was just normal casual porn. But then soon it became boring. I started watching interracial black porn. Not enough. Then I started to watch hardcore porn. And the intensity was just going up with each video. Soon, it was replaced by CNC (rape porn). Then the video porn was not interesting enough, so I started reading sex stories. But there is not a lot to read about these vanilla stories. I started watching caption porn. Image plus text is the is the worst of both worlds. At this point, I started to realise that this was harming my body, but I still continued it.
Then another bad thing happened: Reddit. Some YouTubers told me to join his subreddit. I did, but later I found out about Oorn on Reddit. And it was my biggest mistake. This app had every type imaginable. Vanilla, movies, and caption porn like Cuckold and Sissy Pegging and femdom. It keeps getting worse. And worse.It took me a year to realise that I am an addict. I have been trying to quit for 2-3 years now. Nothing is working for me. One guy told me about his subreddit. You guys are doing great. Please let me be part of your no-fap group. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to live like a loser. I want to have real love, not some pixel. Please, guys, help me.

I'm meeting a girl since 06.01.2024, we met on badoo. She's still married to another guy, but she's waiting for a divorce, I'm sure about it. About background od their marriage. He was master of controlling, he was taking advantage of her for past 10 years, because of her health problems, she didn't meet his expectations therefore he made her cuckold. At the end od their marriage she was nearly dead in my opinion, as she weighed 35kg/165cm and her skin was almost transparent.
Back to present, as I said, we started seeing each other at the beginning of the year. Nothing too serious but we had sex in the first week. Then, 26.02.24, we had our first fight, not over some petty things. The reason for that was that she was still using Badoo. Ok, got it. We were not in any type of relationship. Just sleepovers, zoo, these type of shit. She said that I shouldn't be worried, cause she is just texting with those guys, as friends ofc. Then that she is not seeing anybody, much less sleeps with anybody. I still wasn't sure what to think, so I didn't speak to her for 2 days. Then I reached out to her, she apologized for that, deleted account, stopped using Badoo. One or two days later (01.03.24) we were texting as always, then suddenly she dissapeard for few hours (18:30-22:30). She said she was downstairs, talking with parents. That moment I had serious gut feeling that something happened. She never do this, as she has poor communication skills towards them. I was at her house 02.03.24 and asked her mom, indirectly, about previous evening, she wasn't with them, she went out. But I was fool to not ask about it right away, as we were after argument and I was afraid of loosing her.
One week ago she admitted that we're together. Soon, I'm going abroad to work, so my insecurities woke up and started to drill my mind. I confronted her today about this, that I know she wasn't downstairs, talking with them as she said. I needed to press her a little but she admitted that she was at the hotel with some guy, and he fucked her.
There the fun begins. 😎
I asked why she did it, as she said (26.02) that she's not seeing and don't have sex with anybody, but she met with that guy (01.03) not even a week later. Her response was:
"No, I didn't do it on purpose, I wasn't the one who initiated the meeting, I didn't know it would end like this and I basically ran home straight away. "
LIKE WHAT THE HOLY FUCK XD she claims that they only planned to meet, to grab a dinner and talk. She texted that it was her first time seeing him. They went to his hotel room, he took a shower and they were sitting on a bed (Who tf talks in bed when there are chairs, especially when it's first, non-romantic meet up) they were talking and suddenly she felt something she felt previously with her husband. I mean she was giving her husband her coochie, because she was tired, wanted to have it checked and go to sleep. She said she didn't wanted to do that, but he was so clingy and insistent that she let him fuck her and she ran away after that. Am I retarded or is it a good explanation? She didn't initiated the meeting but she immediately was down for it, she didn't wanted to have sex with him, but she was lying there and let him do that. She was ashamed, panicked and angry with herself after that. She didn't told me that, but admitted today that she was preparing to confess that to me. Later, we had video chat. We're talking about this and she spilled the beans. She got entangled in her own lies and told "when we first met, back in January" then I finished the call. Lie after lie, one gargantuan lie.
The problem is that I love her so much and I'd like to forgive her but is it a good solution? I'm 100% that it was last time. As I said, in this time everything was awesome, and I was alive again after traumatizing relationship. I felt loved, she took care of me, we helped each other a lot. I was never in a marriage, but those 10 years surely fucked her mind a lot. She offered me full access to all of her texts, Messenger, emails, I mean everything. She even is downloading Facebook data copy, so I can be sure this was one-time event. What to do?
TL;DR not possible, don't know how to summarize it.

Trying to encourage gf to boss/force me into getting a big dildo like 9”+ as part of my fantasy and she seems up for it but life like and color life like as well so we can play with my cuckold fantasy that I’ve told her about since before we ever met. First step is intro and play then if she likes/love it’s the real thing next hopefully. Also told her my dirty talk, degrading, humiliation fantasy almost need aspect and wanting her to cage me and have me orally please her while she’s full of the big toy and she’s up for it with the toy so hopefully once it comes in the mail I’ll be posting video and txts. I’m excited to start. She’s excited for a big life like toy. Oh we both openly want it to work if it helps with her fears. Also told her if she’s up for it and is gentle and slow I’d let her use the big toy on my cock virgin ass and cock virgin is right cause I’ve had her use a toys handle I used before that sucks my cock that is 6” and vibrates and she loved it. Kinda big turn on to be a cuck that gets pegged or the bull fucks too. I think as a naturally alpha guy with a 7.5” dick that’s never been in a non alpha position in life I actually accept it and am up for it but it’s definitely part taboo but tbh I’ve always as far back as I can remember wanted to share with bigger and watch and be in a real cuckold(humiliation, degradation, her running the sexual part) relationship. Just never got this far and I’m super excited and happy it maybe happening soon even if just with a toy. Hope other guys are also excited about this concept and not just me or a thing for us and think it’s a good idea, like I do want to be a alpha guy in public but be a secret beta cuckold behind door and be the type to encourage her to cuckold me and encourage her to enjoy the sexual freedom with the bigger cock she deserves. And honestly if she did want to out me as her cuckold I’d be ok with it and accept it.

**IF YOU ARE AN ESCORT OR OTHERWISE LOOKING FOR MONEY - I AM NOT INTERESTED.** Ok now that that's out of the way - I 'm a 44 year old WM, fit, D/D free, looking for naughty friends (females or couples) for daytime fun (I work nights). I'm open-minded, well educated, world-traveled, and I love a good conversation. I'm into many things sexually..just ask! I also like hotwives, cuckold couples, breeding kinks, picture/video, and more! Please be drama free, horny, REAL, and DTF. Age/ethnicity/marital status not important.

I thought my Monday was rough. Until I experienced Tuesday. Those who believed that it was important for me to supplement my academic study of male masochism with first-hand experience — Luke, Paul, Brooke, possibly Neil as well — certainly were getting their wish. I less so, although there was no denying the authenticity of it.
I had to wait until Brooke and Luke were asleep to complete my punishment lines. When my alarm went off at 5 AM in Tuesday morning, after only four hours of sleep, I groaned.
As I was driving over to Kevin’s mom’s house, I received a text from him: Get me an Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s on your way here. Text me when you get here so you don’t wake up my mom.
I had dressed in a clean pair of yoga pants and plain black T-shirt (fortunately, at the time, my dresser wasn’t yet full of humiliating shirts, like it is today, and my cuckold horns shirt was filthy), so I was grateful for the drive-thru at McDonald’s. I resisted the temptation to order myself hash browns and instead limited myself to a banana and cup of coffee. I was determined to avoid more punishment on Saturday following my weigh-in.
Although it was to be another unseasonably hot day, the sun was just starting to rise when I pulled up to the house, so it was still fairly cool. Kevin was waiting for me on the porch. He didn’t thank me (let alone offer to reimburse me) for the sandwich, but rather ate it as he walked around his truck, inspecting the work I had already done. Finding fault with the cleanliness of his wheel rims, he instructed me to stop working on the interior of the car and to reapply myself to the wheels and hubcaps. I tried to explain that I had scrubbed these areas repeatedly yesterday, but that some of the blemishes simply could not be removed from the aging vehicle. He stood above me, supervising — as I worked on my knees — pointing to areas that he felt were not sufficiently clean.
“Sir, I can’t get this spot out. I’ve tried several times,” I said, as I strenuously, yet futilely scrubbed a black mark at the bottom of one of the rear wheels. It looked like it had been there for years. Kevin’s filthy plumber’s boots were right next to my face as I crouched down and scrubbed.
“Scrub harder.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m scrubbing as hard as I can. Some of these stains just won’t come off.”
“You’re not trying hard enough. Here, let me try.” He grabbed the sponge from me and bent over to scrub it. It took some effort, but sure enough, he was able to remove the spot.
“See, you’re not working hard enough. Luke will be disappointed.”
“Sir, I promise you that I’m trying as hard as I can. I’m just not as strong as you are, sir. You have really bulked up at the gym since the last time I saw you.” I thought a little flattery might help convince him not to complain about me to Luke.
He flexed his bicep and stared at it admiringly.
“That’s really impressive, sir. Look at mine, by comparison.” I flexed mine, and felt like Popeye without the spinach standing (or, in my case, kneeling) next to Brutus.
“I guess you’re right,” he said. “I’ll tell you what, if you clean my boots and tools, I might not say anything to Luke.”
Have you started to notice a pattern here? A slippery slope of submission. For example, if I hadn’t been forced to clean Luke’s truck that time I was caught by Kelly, I probably would never have met Paul and, therefore, wouldn’t later that day be going to his condo to work as his maid. It seemed that one act of submission and exposure begat another. Where would it end? Would it end? At the time I am making them, however, my concessions always seem like good ideas, given my lack of options.
And so it probably will not surprise you to learn that I replied, “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I think I can use the same soapy water and leather conditioner I’m using on your truck. If you remove them, I can get started right away.”
“Remove them? Why bother? Just do them here,” he pulled down the tailgate of his truck and sat on it. I filled a fresh bucket of soap and water and got back on my knees to begin my task.
“My boots are dirtier than usual. My last job was a real shit show. Literally,” he chuckled.
I tried not to think about how exactly his boots got so filthy, as I used a towel to wipe off the foul smelling, caked-on debris. Kevin had a relaxed, arrogant expression on his face, as if having a guy twice his age kneeling before him to clean his boots was the most natural thing in the world. I heard the unmistakable noise of a photo being taken on a phone and looked up to see Kevin’s iPhone pointed at me.
“What are you doing, sir?”
“I just wanted to text Kaylee. She’ll get a kick out of this.”
What could I say in response? Challenge him and likely face Luke’s wrath? I bit my tongue.
After cleaning them, I applied some of the leather conditioner I had used on the truck’s seats and began buffing his boots energetically with a microfiber towel. It was just at that moment, of course, that Kevin’s mom, Darla, walked out of the house in sweatpants and a jacket, a cup of coffee in her hand. I will confess that my cock began to stiffen the moment I got on my knees and looked up at Kevin; the pure act of submitting stoked my arousal, as usual. But it was when Darla arrived that my cock really began to push painfully against its restraints.
“Oh, it’s you again,” she said looking down at me.
“Wally didn’t have time to finish my truck before it got dark yesterday,” said Kevin.
“Good morning, ma’am,” I said.
Ignoring me, she said, “It doesn’t look like he’s cleaning your truck right now to me. I guess Luke’s new lackey is now your lackey too. I raised some smart boys.” She smiled proudly. “At least this one isn’t wearing a bikini like Luke made his first boss wear when the old guy used to clean this truck back before he gave it to you.” She laughed heartily at the fond memory of one of my predecessors’ humiliations at the hands of her older son. So nice to be participating in the family tradition, I thought.
“Well, it is December. It’s a little cold for a bikini,” Kevin laughed. “Walter, stand up and show my mom the pantyhose, or whatever it is, that Luke makes you wear.”
I did as directed, causing Darla to laugh. “Those are women’s work-out pants, honey. But I can see the bulk beneath them. One of Luke’s signature methods of dominating the husbands he cuckolds. As I’ve heard your brother say more than once, ‘If you really want to own a man, control his cock.’”
“Wally is a college professor. Luke said he studied at one of them Ivy League schools, out East.”
“You can see where that’s gotten him,” she said. “Well, it’s a little chilly out here, I’m going back inside. I have I feeling I’ll be seeing more of you,“ she said to me with a smirk as she walked back into the house.
After I finished cleaning his boots, Kevin directed me to go into his garage, bring his tools out into the driveway and wipe them down with soapy water before loading them into the bed of his truck. He watched me work the entire time, not lifting a finger.
When I finished, he paid me a compliment. A most unwanted one, as it tuned out. “Nice job with my boots and my tools. Now that I’ve got my license, I could really use an assistant. I’m gonna talk to Luke about letting me borrow you sometimes.”
I didn’t respond, hoping this thought was just a whim of his that would soon be forgotten. I hoped in vain; it was indeed the slippery slope again, a continuation of my descent.
After I finished with his tools, I spent another hour finishing cleaning the interior of the truck before Kevin headed off to his first job of the day and I headed off to campus. This time, I did change into my jeans in a fast food restaurant on the way, too wary of facing Darla again to go back into the house.
I still wore the leather choker that day, and was highly self-conscious as I lectured to the 24 students in my Chivalry and Courtly Love In Medieval Literature class.
I had to be and Paul’s and Anna’s by 4 PM, so after my lecture, I walked to the drugstore to buy the Johnsons’ furniture wax and a toothbrush. I was starving. Having only had a banana that day, and having eaten very little besides salads, fruit and low-fat cottage cheese since my disappointing weigh-in on Saturday, I decided to treat myself to lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant in town. Given how hard I had worked and how little I had eaten over the last couple of days (and thinking about the humiliation that lay in store for me that afternoon), I figured that I deserved this one small self indulgence. I ordered seafood Tom Yum soup and beef Massaman curry. A caloric dish to be sure, but how much could it possibly hurt after my spartan diet of the last few days?
I was still savoring my soup when the waitress brought my curry and rice to the table. Just at that moment, I saw Neil enter the restaurant with a female colleague, Annabelle Nash (she taught Shakespeare, mainly). They greeted me as they went to their seats, but I could see Neil scrutinize the dishes on my table and shake his head disapprovingly (if subtly). Self conscious as I was, I nevertheless cleaned my plate (grateful Neil’s back was to me at the table where he and Annabelle sat). After I paid my check, I walked over to say goodbye to them.
Neil said, “Hey, pal, would you mind swinging by my office at around 2:30 for a few minutes?”
“Sure thing, Neil. Nice seeing you, Annabelle.”
When I met him in his office later, Neil closed the door and asked me to sit down.
“Walter, I have a bit of a dilemma that I hope you can help me out with. Luke made me promise to tell him if I caught you cheating on your diet on campus.”
“The restaurant is not on campus,” I smiled, attempting a joke.
“You know what I mean,” he answered, with a serious expression. “Was that beef Massaman curry? Do you know how many calories are in that dish?! And all the carbs in the rice? You should always ask for brown rice instead of white, you know. And you had soup too, I noticed.”
“But I barely ate anything the past three days. And I only had a banana for breakfast.”
“You’re always making excuses. That’s why you’ve basically been stuck at the same weight now for the last few weeks. You’re at a threshold, and to lose more, you need to be super disciplined about what you eat, and exercise more. No more excuses, Walter.”
“You’re right, sir. Please don’t tell Luke,” I pleaded.
“Look, I know what my telling him means for you as a consequence. But I promised him I would. And his methods with you have been successful. I feel I have to honor my promise.”
“Please, don’t. Maybe I can make it up to you somehow. How about a foot massage?”
“Giving me a foot massage isn’t going to burn many calories.” He thought for a minute. “I tell you what. The four days a week that we’re on campus together, how about if you bring me a coffee each day in between my classes? I don’t think that will conflict with your teaching schedule, and the exercise of walking to the Corner Cafe each day will do you good. It’s 3300 steps there and back; I’ve measured it on my iPhone. That way, I won’t feel as guilty for not telling Luke about catching you cheating on your diet today.”
“Yes, thanks Neil. Sir, I mean. That seems more than fair.”
Neil got up and shook my hand. “Deal. And you don’t have to call me ‘sir’ here on campus, pal.”
“Thanks, Neil.”
“But I will take you up on that offer for your amazing foot massages on Wednesdays after my back-to-back classes. You can give me one tomorrow when you bring my coffee.”
“Of course, thanks again, Neil,” I said, as I left his office. And so that is how I came to be Neil’s coffee boy for the balance of the semester (and future semesters, even during my sabbatical). And his foot boy, or reflexologist, or whatever you want to call it. Notice how it went from me offering to give him one foot massage in return for his silence, to me getting his coffee four days a week and massaging his feet once a week. In an instant! I guess negotiation was not one of my strong suits.
As I drove to Paul and Anna’s condo — the next stop on my gauntlet of service and humiliation that day —the Paul Simon song Slip Sliding Away ran through my head, the refrain in particular:
Slip sliding away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip sliding away
If old Paul was correct, the further I slid down the slope, the closer I’d come to my true nature. I wondered how much further I had to slip. Would I be the slave to everyone by the time I finally reached the bottom of the slope?
As I parked my car, I did another mental inventory of what I needed for my second visit to the condo. Johnsons’s furniture wax, check. Toothbrush, check. Punishment lines, check. I was wearing sheer, black nylon panties under my jeans. Then I remembered: I had completely forgotten Anna’s directive that I research and practice how to curtsy. All I could do is hope that she had forgotten. If not, maybe I could wing it? Better yet, maybe she wouldn’t be there this time. But did I really want to be alone with Paul?
Carrying a bag that contained my punishment lines as well as the furniture polish and toothbrush, I entered the lobby to find the same obnoxious doorman as last Tuesday, sitting behind his desk.
“I’m here to see Paul Betz.”
“And you are?” He knew perfectly well who I was, but wanted to force me to say it.
“The maid.” I looked down at the floor, ashamed.
He picked up the intercom. “Mr. Betz, your maid is here to clean your apartment. May I send HIM up?” The prick just had to emphasize my gender.
“Mr. Betz said you may go up. Apartment 11B. The elevator is around the corner,” he said, as if I had never been there before, a smug smile plastered to his face.
“Yes, thank you. I remember.”
When I got to their door, I got down on my knees, as Paul had instructed me. Should I have rung the bell first? Should I knock? Or would that annoy them? I had been announced, so they knew I would be coming up the elevator. I waited there for several minutes. The longer I waited, however, it seemed to make less and less sense to ring the bell. Maybe they were busy and not ready for me yet, even though I was very punctual? Maybe they were….having sex? I didn’t want to risk disturbing them. And, so, I continued to wait.
I then heard the elevator door open, with dread. A woman, probably in her mid thirties, walked by me to her apartment across the hall, staring down at me with an amused expression. When she opened her door, I heard her yell to someone in the apartment, “It looks like Paul and Anna have a new one,” before the door slammed shut.
Just then the the door in front of me finally opened. I saw Paul’s feet first.
“You may enter. Remember, on your knees.”
I put my hands down to crawl into the apartment, before he snapped at me: “No! I didn’t say on your hands and knees. I said on your knees.”
I shuffled forward into the apartment, cursing myself for having not purchased knee pads, as Paul had suggested. I told myself that I would have to start taking notes from now on , so I wouldn’t forget things I’d later regret.
“Lines,” he said, simply.
I pulled the several loose leaf pages out of my bag and handed them to Paul. “Here, sir.”
As much as it hurt my hand to write all of those lines, the mental anguish of having to repeatedly write that I would no longer mention academic integrity — a subject that I was passionate about (ridiculous as it might seem to you, coming from a professor about to clean the apartment of two of his students) — was worse. Paul knew that, of course. I was to learn that, despite their many differences in style, like Luke, he was a natural sadist, with an impressive ability to zero in on areas of his victim’s vulnerability or sensitivity to exploit for maximum humiliation. Lucky me.
“I’ll count them and check the neatness of your writing later. Did you bring the Johnsons wax and toothbrush?”
“Yes, sir. Here.” I showed him the contents of my bag.
Anna then came into the living room from the kitchen, munching on an apple. Both were dressed similarly to last time, Paul in sweatpants and Anna in tight yoga pants. Anna was barefoot this time, her pretty, pedicured toes painted a metallic silver color. She caught me staring at her toes, and smiled.
“Don’t worry, Professor Rollins, you will get to know my feet very well. They will be your best friends before long.”
“More like his unattainable crush,” Paul snickered.
“Crushes,” Anna corrected him. “Professor maid will have a crush on both of my feet and on all ten of my toes. He will worship them and he will pine for them. And they won’t give him the time of day,” she said. Then she abruptly said to me, “Obeisance!”
“Excuse me, Princess Anna?”
“Obeisance means assume the position of respect and humility before your superiors,” Paul explained.
“Yes, sir. I know the meaning of the word, but I don’t know what position she means.”
“I don’t like your condescending tone. It reminds me of when you corrected me in class on Monday about the cucking stool. We’re going to teach you not to use that tone with us. Certainly not here, where you are nothing more than a slave. But not in class either. You will be very careful in how you interact with Anna, Kelly and me in class from now on. We are your special students.”
“We are the teacher’s pets, and the teacher is our pet,” giggled Anna.
I certainly didn’t intend to be condescending — I was on my knees, for fuck’s sake — but I guess that quality just naturally creeps into my tone at times, unconsciously. Perhaps an occupational hazard of being a professor? Or at least, a hazard in the situations in which I increasingly found myself.
“Strip,” ordered, Paul.
“Yes, sir. May I stand for a moment?”
Paul nodded his ascent. I quickly removed my shoes, socks, shirt and jeans, and stood before them in my panties and chastity cage.
“Obeisance here means you drop down onto your belly, you clasp your hands behind your back and you slither like the worm you are to your superior’s feet and kiss each one reverently. Obeisance!”
I was standing several feet away from them. I did exactly what Paul described, finding that the only way to propel myself forward from that position was to grind my crotch into the floor. Not only was it incredibly uncomfortable, but I feared that my chastity cage might scratch their hardwood floor. Fortunately, there was an area rug covering most of the space separating us, so I was able to slide myself — indeed, “slither” was the correct word — towards their feet. Figuring ladies first, I planted kisses on Anna’s lovely bare feet, followed by Paul’s socked feet.
Paul asked me, “Where is Luke today?”
Still prostrate on my belly, inches from their toes, I answered, “He is traveling today, sir.”
“Overnight?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What about your wife?”
“She is working tonight.”
“You didn’t say ‘sir.’ That’s one demerit. At the restaurant?”
I had never said anything to them about Brooke’s job, even during Paul’s initial interrogation of me at O’Riordans. His detailed knowledge of my life was unsettling.
“Yes, sir.”
“What time does she get home? Don’t lie, I have my ways of checking.”
“Usually around 10:30 or so, sir.”
Anna interjected, “Good, you can work longer than two hours, then. The condo is a disaster, and we’re having a little get together on Thursday. That little bitch, Chrissy, said her mother is sick. Supposedly. So she wasn’t able to clean on Sunday. You have your work cut out for you, professor maid. Where is your page uniform?”
Oh, no! Another order, I forgot. I didn’t hesitate to lie. “My wife wore the jacket today, princess. She occasionally likes to wear it.” Did Paul have ways of checking on that, too, I wondered.
“Bring it with you on Thursday. Fortunately, I picked out some other things for you to wear today. You’ll find your clothes on and next to the spanking bench in the dungeon. You can change in there and then present yourself to us before you start cleaning.”
“Yes, princess. Thank you.”
As I walked upstairs to the dungeon, I was still trying to process Anna’s extremely troubling remark a moment earlier. Not the fact that I had to work longer than two hours, nor that the condo was especially messy. Rather, it was the fact that they were planning on inviting guests on Thursday, the day I was to spend four hours with them, including preparing and serving them dinner. They had promised me that I wouldn’t be subjected to further exposure. Still, I had to risk asking, at some point, who they planned to invite to their “little get together.”
Expecting to find a maid’s uniform in the dungeon, I was not completely mistaken. Draped over the spanking bench were sheer black, thigh high stockings and a garter belt as well as a white lace maid’s cap. On the floor next to the bench were a pair of what appeared to be brand new, black high heels. Presumably, these were purchased specifically for me and would not painfully pinch my feet like Chrissy’s did.
The garter had a velcro clasp, so was relatively easy to put on. I initially struggled attaching the metal clasps to the thigh highs, but got those on as well. I then put the on the ridiculous cap. Finally, the most challenging part: the heels. They were my size, thankfully, but I was very unsteady in them, even partially twisting my ankle when I first tried to walk in them. Regarding myself in a large mirror hung inside the door to the dungeon, I looked utterly absurd, especially with my bare torso and rock-hard nipples.
Anna laughed loudly when I wobbled my way into the living room, where she and Paul were now reclining on the couch. My cock strained against its cage as I stood before my young monarchs, watching them scrutinize my ridiculously attired form.
“Don’t worry, professor. You’ll get used to the heels before you know it. Now let’s see you curtsy.”
The moment I was dreading. Should I confess to her that I had forgotten her instructions and beg her forbearance? Or should I wing it? I chose the latter, and chose unwisely. Not having a skirt to lift, I sort of mimicked lifting a phantom one and lamely bent my knees before standing straight again. There was no extending my right foot behind my left, no holding my position for two seconds when I bent my knees, no lowering my chin, no maintaining eye contact with my mistress. In other words, my improvisation was a dismal failure.
“That’s pathetic. Did you bother to practice at all?”, asked Anna, with a scowl.
“Yes, princess. Maybe I picked a bad how-to video.”
“You only watched one? You didn’t read anything about the different steps involved? It’s not hard to find instructions on Google. I checked myself. You either are lying to me or you’re a complete bimbo. Is it really true that we can’t leave marks on his ass?”, she asked Paul.
“For now, yes, unfortunately. But I think I’ve figured out some ways to punish him that won’t leave any long lasting marks.”
“Good. He deserves it. Maybe a little pain will help you remember to do what we tell you to do in the future, and to do it properly,” said Anna to me.
“Yes, Princess Anna. I promise to study how to curtsy very carefully before Thursday.”
“You better. Including a deep curtsy.”
“But that doesn’t get you off the hook for fucking up today,” said Paul. “Now get busy.”
I gathered up their dirty laundry first (scattered throughout the apartment), and started a load. The condo was indeed a mess. I later learned that Paul and Anna simply never picked up after themselves. Why should they when they had a seemingly ever increasing stable of menials to do so for them. However, when one of the servants fell ill or for some other reason failed to clean on their allotted days, the next one paid the price, as I did that day. It was quite challenging walking in the heels, but Anna was correct that I got used to them fairly quickly. By the end of the nearly four hours I was with them that Tuesday, I was managing to walk in them reasonably steadily.
As I worked, I caught snippets of their conversation.
Anna said, “It’s a bummer we don’t get to control his cock.”
Paul replied, “I know. But I’m working on that. It’s going to take a little time.”
“That’s good. Without control of his cock, it doesn’t feel like he’s truly our slave, you know what I mean?”
“I do. Just be patient.”
“How do you plan to do it?” Anna glanced at me. “Or don’t you want him to hear?”
“I don’t care if he hears or not. There’s nothing he can do about it. The key is to make friends with Luke. He was willing to lend Rollins to us at the Ren fair when we asked. My guess is he’ll be willing to share him again. And regularly. Besides, Professor Larson told me Luke built a huge pool at his house. I’d love to swim there when the weather gets nice. Indoor pools just aren’t the same.”
I knew that Paul had taken one of Neil’s classes last year, but hearing that they had been in touch since the Ren fair — bonding over their shared love of swimming, no doubt — was concerning. I hoped that there wasn’t anything else they were bonding over.
Anna instructed me to use the Johnsons wax I had purchased to polish the expensive looking coffee table and end tables in their large living room. They watched TV as I worked around them, ordering me as they did last time to serve them drinks. The toothbrush was for me to clean the crevices in the tiled bathroom floor of the master bathroom. Anna said that the crevices made it difficult to thoroughly clean with a mop. That may have been true, but I suspected this was more about humiliation than cleanliness. She supervised me as knelt down and scrubbed the first few tiles, urging me to pay particular attention to those closest to the toilet. She stood in the entrance way, as I bent over with my panty-clad ass sticking out. Although my cock fought against its confines almost the entire time I was there that day, there were certain moments such as this that the throbbing was particularly unpleasant.
As I was mopping the kitchen floor, I heard an alarm go off.
“Get your ass in here!”, I heard Paul yell from the living room. “It’s time for your punishment. Normally, I don’t administer correction until a servant has completed all assigned tasks for the day, but since we can’t leave any visible marks on you for the time being, I’m going to make an exception for you. Five demerits from last week plus one from today. Not to mention your compete failure to learn how to properly curtsy. Get over my knees.”
“But what about the punishment lines, sir?”
“You’re questioning me? They were to address a separate issue: your idiotic obsession with academic integrity.”
“But, sir, didn’t you say that you would address my demerits on Thursday when I would be here longer?”
“That was before I knew you could stay here longer today. I intend to take advantage of it. But I’m also happy to administer part of your punishment today and part of it on Thursday. I’m sure that our guests will enjoy it.”
“Uh, sir, I was meaning to ask you about that. You, you…you and Princess Anna promised you wouldn’t tell anyone or show anyone…” My tongue was tied.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, professor. Our guests are Kelly and Archer,” said Anna.
“Archer, princess?”
“Archer is Kelly’s boyfriend. You two go way back. He saw you cleaning Luke’s truck in a speedo and you cleaned his muddy boots at the Ren fair. That was so much fun!, Anna giggled.
“What are you waiting for?,” Paul snapped.
I walked over to him and lay across his knees. Across the knees of my student, dressed as some fetishized maid. It was a truly surreal moment.
“The advantage of a hand spanking is that it can hurt quite a bit, but it won’t leave marks. The redness will fade in a couple of hours, and I think I know how to go right up to the edge of leaving bruises without actually leaving them. The key is lots of repetition. I’m going to give you twenty spanks for each demerit. Normally, it would only be ten, but that’s when I’m using a paddle, strap or crop. Or cane. We will inspect your cleaning when you’re done, and any additional demerits you earn today will be addressed on Thursday.” Paul rubbed my bottom with his hand as he spoke, a sensual exertion of control that I did not expect.
“Did you ever think you’d get to spank one of your professors?”, Anna asked her boyfriend with almost childlike delight.
“Great to check this one off the bucket list. Someday, I’d like to have a Senator or Governor over my knees.”
“How about the President?”
“You never know. There are submissive cucks and closet masochists in all walks of life.”
And with that observation, Paul’s hand came down hard on my panty-clad bottom. It came down again and again. The first strike hurt, but it was the cumulative effect that really turned this hand spanking into a tear-inducing punishment. I managed to be fairly stoic until about the 30th strike. By around the 50th, I was kicking my legs. Eventually I kicked with sufficient force that both of my heels came off. Although my sheer panties offered next to no protection, about midway through my punishment, Paul pulled them down and struck me on my bare bottom. Around the same time the tears came, I started squirming around on Paul’s lap.
“Stay still!”
I tried, but as the spanks kept coming, I continued to squirm on his lap. Paul then reached between my legs and firmly grabbed my balls. That certainly got my attention.
As he squeezed them, Paul said, “Do you think you can be still now?”
‘Yes, sir. I do!”
Through great exertion of will, I was able to remain still as Paul delivered the final twenty or strokes. He pushed me roughly off his lap onto the floor after he finished.
“Normally, I would now make you stand in the corner with your ass on display for 30 minutes or so, but I want to make sure you have time to finish cleaning.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes and replied, “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
Anna sat down next to Paul on the couch and, inserting her hand into his sweatpants. said, “That was hot. Did it excite you as much as it did me? Oh, I can feel that it did! Let’s go fuck on our freshly made bed.”
“Sounds good, babe. If we’re quick, he can wash the sheets again before he leaves.”
Which is exactly what happened. Their inspection of my work only resulted in two additional demerits this time.
Before I left, Anna gave me detailed instructions for the meal I was to prepare on Thursday.
It was 9:30 PM by the time I got home. Given that Luke was away, I was hoping Brooke would release me when she got home and give me footjob or maybe even allow me to make love to her like she did on Thanksgiving. As exhausted as I was, I had been in a near constant state of frustrated sexual arousal throughout the day and its myriad humiliations, and I was dying to be released.
Unfortunately, Brooke had a difficult night at the restaurant (two men who hit on her, and one who stiffed her after she politely rebuffed him) and was in a foul mood. So instead of being released, I spent still more time on my now truly aching knees, giving her a long foot massage through her sweaty stockings as she silently watched TV.
That was still the highlight of my long, long day.

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I dreaded entering the classroom for my Male Masochism in Medieval Literature class on Monday morning, as it would be my first time teaching the course since my shameful visit to Paul and Anna‘s condo. They had, of course, promised to keep my subservience to them a secret. However, could I trust them? Could I trust the people who were essentially blackmailing me? In addition, as a close friend of Paul’s and Anna’s, Kelly was also well aware of the situation. If you recall, the enrollment in my class was largely due to her personal intervention with her friends after she and her boyfriend had encountered me washing Luke’s truck in my driveway wearing a pink speedo. Kelly was friends with at least two thirds of the class, and she struck me as a very social, gossipy girl in general, which was not reassuring. However, she had promised me at the Ren fair not to tell anyone about the humiliation I endured there. Paul assured me that she would honor their pledge of confidentiality in return for my servitude. He also suggested to me that she would be an active participant in it.
From my podium, I scrutinized the faces of my students to see if I could discern anything about what they did or did not know. Several of them were exchanging grins and whispers, but that was really no different than usual. Part of that was probably simply a reaction to the article of feminine attire that I was required to wear to each class. That morning, Brooke had fastened a choker collar around my neck. It was a simple, unadorned piece of leather with no metal or anything that overtly suggested a slave collar. Brooke assured me that male chokers had become fashionable. That may have been true for young, edgy GQ models in New York City, but I sincerely doubted that was the case on my college campus, especially for a professor approaching 40. In any case, the choker got a number of stares and double takes from both students and my fellow faculty members that day. It was to become a regular part of my wardrobe, nonetheless, as Brooke was quite fond of the look. My hope was that people simply viewed me as an eccentric, bookish guy with a surprisingly daring sense of style. Being truthful with myself, however, I thought that was pretty unlikely.
It seemed to me that Paul exhibited even more swagger than usual, again arrogantly resting his feet on the desk in front of him. Anna had a subtle, self-satisfied grin on her face as I lectured. Kelly was her usual bubbly self. However, I interpreted everything differently since the Ren fair and since my first visit to Paul and Anna’s home, and was now always on edge. I found it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on my lecture, the subject of which was the liberal use of public humiliation as a form of penance for sinners and criminals in 13th century Europe.
My loss of command of my class only seemed to be accelerating following my own public humiliation. The following exchange during my lecture that morning was particularly distressing:
“Public shaming was sometimes so intense that it was seen as a sufficient form of punishment, so that flagellation was not always considered necessary. Yes, Paul, you have a question?”
“Were pillories commonly used in public punishments in the 13th century?”, he asked with a smirk.
“Yes, they were quite common in the public square. Public shaming events were announced widely so that as many people as possible would come to see the penitent, thus maximizing his humiliation.”
“But wouldn’t the criminal or sinner who was locked in the pillory also be beaten?” asked Paul. I heard Kelly snigger.
“Frequently, yes, of course. But my point was that the public shaming itself was often so severe that flagellation on top of it was considered overkill. Yes, Kelly, you have a question as well?” The two of them rarely asked questions in class, so their inquisitiveness that afternoon was highly suspect.
“Yes, professor. Did public shaming sometimes include the penitent being forced to wear humiliating clothes?”
“Yes, Kelly, sometimes.”
“Were the male sinners sometimes forced to dress as women as part of their public shaming?”, asked Anna. I believe this was the first time she had ever asked a question in class. I heard a few scattered snickers in the room.
“Not to my knowledge. In Germany, shame masks, or schandmaskes as they were known, were frequently used, but more often for women than for men. Such as the scold’s bridle, used to punish, shame and silence mostly lower class women. So really not pertinent to our class on male masochism.”
“What about the cucking stool? Was that when cuckolds were humiliated by being dunked in the water? As if being cucks wasn’t humiliating enough,” asked Paul with a snide chuckle.
Paul was a very bright young man and almost certainly knew that that was not what a cucking stool was. It was clear to me that the purpose of all of these questions was to humiliate me. However, I took some comfort from the fact that all of them came from Paul, Anna and Kelly. I hoped that it was sort of an inside joke between the three of them, although I’m sure other students were picking up on subtexts. As they typically do.
“Of course, not. You know better than that Mr. Betz, I’m sure. Cucking stools, also known as ducking stools, were generally used for scolds or gossips, typically women, in which the penitent was strapped into a chair that was dunked into the water. It was sort of a precursor to waterboarding. Sometimes dishonest tradesmen were also subject to this punishment, but it certainly had nothing to do with cuckolds, despite the name.”
Paul glared at me. I realized too late that I would probably pay dearly for correcting him the way that I did. But what was I supposed to do? I did have a class to teach, after all.
Paul replied icily, “Well, it’s too bad that they weren’t used to dunk cuckolds. They certainly are a lot more deserving of humiliating punishment than gossips or scolds, if you ask me.”
I took notice of his use of the present tense. “An interesting perspective. Well, class is over. I’ll see you all on Wednesday,” I said, eager to bring the class to a close.
Like I said, it was highly distressing. Paul dropped a folded piece of paper on my desk as he and Anna exited the room. I opened it with trepidation: “Had to be cute. Bring 200 additional lines + toothbrush + Johnsons’ furniture polish.” Just cryptic enough to be useless to me as any kind of evidence of coercion. But the message was clear enough to me: I was being punished for having corrected Paul in class and was expected to complete an additional 200 punishment lines that night as well as to buy furniture polish tomorrow. The toothbrush part was a mystery to me. I had managed to complete 450 of my 500 lines so far. It helped that we had just had a long, holiday weekend and that Luke was not around for part of it; even so, I had to do some of the lines in my office at school and some after Brooke and Luke went to bed on Sunday night. Now, I had to complete another 250 lines in just over 24 hours. My fingers ached at the mere thought.
After class, I had a light lunch in my office and knocked out 50 punishment lines before hurrying off to my next trial of the day: washing and detailing Kevin‘s truck.
Because it was early December, I would mercifully not be required to wear a speedo. That said, Luke had instructed me to bring along a pair of light grey yoga pants and my cuckold horns T-shirt to wear while undertaking my chore. I had no doubt that Kevin, snitch that he was, would tell Luke if I wasn’t attired as directed. I really hated the light colored yoga pants in particular, because the bulk of my chastity cage and the small protrusion of my undersized balls (pushed upwards and outwards by the ring of my chastity device) were so obvious through the light, clingy fabric. I considered changing in the restroom of one of the fast food restaurants on the way to the house, but decided against it. I just couldn’t bring myself to face the humiliation of walking through the restaurant back to my car. So, instead, I chose the humiliation of changing in the bathroom at Luke’s mother‘s house, where Kevin still lived. Such was my life now: choosing the lesser of two humiliations. When I had any choice at all, that is.
Luke’s mom lived about 10 miles from campus in a rural area. I pulled up to the curb around 1:15pm and saw Kevin’s truck in the driveway. Apparently, Monday was one of his days off. The truck was indeed filthy; it looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks, if not months. A hand-me-down from Luke, it was not the behemoth that Luke’s truck was, but was still an oversized pickup with four doors. Washing and detailing it would no doubt keep me busy for several hours. I thought it was unlikely that I could finish before sunset. Unsure what Kevin would have on hand, in the trunk of my Prius I had brought with me a vacuum, a bucket, sponges, brushes, wax, leather conditioner, wheel guard and rim sealant, a detail spay, VRP rubber and vinyl shine/protectant and microfiber towels. Not being a car person, I had never done more than a cursory washing of my own car a few times in the pre Luke days. But having washed and waxed his truck at least a dozen times — followed by inspections and immediate sessions with the belt, strap or cane to address any shortcomings —I was now quite the expert in how to do so properly and thoroughly. Still, I had never faced anything remotely as filthy as Kevin‘s pickup.
I approached the front door tentatively, carrying a bag with my change of clothes. Before I could even ring the doorbell, the door was opened by a tall, attractive woman with long, brown hair, probably in her late 40s or early 50s. My guess was that this was Luke’s and Kevin’s mother; there was a clear resemblance.
“Who are you?”, she asked.
“My name is Walter. I’m here to see Kevin.”
“Oh, you must be Brooke’s new husband, right? She certainly didn’t upgrade, did she?”, she laughed derisively. “I never thought she was as smart as she pretends to be. My name is Darla. I am Luke’s and Kevin‘s mom.”
“Yes, I’m Brooke’s husband. It’s nice to meet you.” I started to raise my hand uncertainly.
Rather than respond to me or shake my hand, she simply turned her head into the house, and yelled, “Kevin! Luke’s latest lackey is here to see you.” She then looked at me and said “See you later,” and got into a car parked next to Kevin’s truck. I heard her drive off as Kevin came up to the doorway.
“Hi Kevin, I’m here to wash your truck.”
“Good. It can really use it, as you can see. Luke said he wants you to call me ‘sir’ when you’re working for me. He also said that he wants me to start helping him look after you and Brooke when he’s busy or traveling. So you probably should just start calling me ‘sir’ from now on. He says the two of you are always trying to get away with shit, like disobedient brats. When they were married, Brooke sort of babysat me a couple of times, even though I was in my early teens and didn’t really need one. It’s pretty funny that the shoe’s gonna be on the other foot soon.”
“Yes, sir. I better get started on your car because I need to be home in time to fix Luke and Brooke dinner. May I change in the bathroom?”
“It’s down that hall. When you’ve changed, come see me in the living room before you start.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
As I was changing in the bathroom, I marveled at what a surreal, absurd situation I found myself in. Here I was, a nearly 40 year-old, tenured college professor under the control of an 18 year-old plumber, the younger brother of my wife’s lover. I felt resentment bubble up inside me. Surely, I could use my superior intellect, my maturity, my experience to intimidate this young man somehow or, at the very least, to reason with him, and make him understand the absurdity of him ordering me around like a servant, the absurdity of him acting as a babysitter of sorts for Brooke and me, as if we needed one.
But I have a shameful confession to make. As I pulled the yoga pants up my freshly waxed legs (I had gotten a full body waxing on Friday) and over my panties and chastity cage, any thoughts I had of trying to assert myself with Kevin quickly evaporated. There is just something about the feel of nylon or spandex clinging to my legs (or, when uncaged, to my cock) that almost instantly triggers profound feelings of submissiveness in me. It is really quite remarkable. This is especially true with pantyhose and tights; the lighter the weight and more sheer the fabric is, the greater my docility and meekness. Even the comparatively thick material of the yoga pants —some type of nylon/lycra blend— was more than sufficient to quell any fleeting feelings of assertiveness I may have had. I am quite certain that Brooke, and Luke, were well aware of the intense psychological effect that sensual, feminine clothing has on me, and took full advantage of it (and that was before I started being required to dress as a sissy maid, which took my feelings of submissiveness to an entirely different level altogether). The combination of the sensual material and the humiliating way it exposed my body (and its deficiencies) was a powerful one two punch (especially when I was the only one dressed that way, which was usually the case).
Thus, my rebellion was over before it even began. As I walked to the living room to face Kevin in my humiliating attire, I instead kept telling myself “go with the flow,” Brooke’s mantra for getting through particularly challenging or demeaning situations. In the living room, I found Kevin sitting on the couch with his girlfriend, Kaylee, playing a shooting video game on an enormous television screen. I had met Kaylee once before during the fall at Luke’s house. I had been raking leaves when Luke, Brooke, Kevin and Kaylee came outside to throw a football around. She barely acknowledged me at the time. Why would she? I was clearly nothing more than a worker or servant, certainly no one worthy of her attention.
I stood awkwardly before them for a couple of minutes as they played, awaiting Kevin’s instructions or at least his blessing to begin my task, but fearful of interrupting their game. The same type of insufferable, resentment-filled country music Luke favored was blaring out of a portable speaker. Kevin eventually paused the game they were playing on his wireless controller.
“Hi, Kaylee, we met in October at Luke’s…”, I ventured, before she rudely cut me off.
“Hi, loser. I remember,” she replied, looking at me with a mixture of contempt and amusement.
“Walter, if you call me ‘sir,’ you can’t call my girlfriend ‘Kaylee’. You need to show her respect too.”
“Would ‘Miss Kaylee’ or ‘Miss’ be accceptale?”, I asked, figuring they could always come up with something worse, so it would be better to preempt them.
“What do you think?”, Kevin asked her.
“That will work, I guess. At least until I think of something better. What do we call him? It doesn’t seem like we should call him ‘Walter.’”
“How about ‘Wally’?” Kevin could not possibly know how much I despised being called Wally. Rather, he seemed to share his older brother’s innate, intuitive talent for humiliation.
“That’s better. Although I might just call him ‘loser.’” She laughed.
As I mentioned before, Kevin bore a strong resemblance to Luke and was only slightly shorter. While not yet the intimidating physical specimen Luke was, he had bulked up considerably even in the five months since I had met first him; clearly, the weightlifting was having an impact. About 5’6” tall, Kaylee has short, dark brown hair and a tomboy appearance, but is by no means unattractive. Both of them were wearing jeans and T-shirts.
“What the fuck is that bulge under his leggings? I know it’s not his dick. And what’s the deal with that shirt?”, asked Kaylee. I was to learn that it was a distinct characteristic of Kaylee’s to almost always speak of me as if I wasn’t present.
“I’m pretty sure that’s his cock cage. Luke tells me that he locks up his cock and that he has to beg him to unlock him so he can beat off.”
“That’s fucking pathetic. You mean he doesn’t even get to have sex with his wife anymore? What’s her name? Brooke?“
“Yeah, Brooke. Maybe sometimes he can, if Luke gives them permission. Luke let him of cock jail on Thanksgiving only after he promised to clean my truck today. You know, Brooke used to be married to Luke. He’s hung like a horse. She must’ve missed it. Wally here is what’s called a cuck. That’s short for cuckold. Someone who gets off on his old lady sleeping around on him. I’m pretty sure that’s what those horns on his T-shirt mean.”
“My mom cheated on my dad, but he didn’t get off on it. He practically killed the guy. He practically killed her too. I don’t think she’d ever dare try it again.”
“Well, your dad’s not a real cuck like Wally. Luke says Wally gets off on the humiliation. He actually watches the two of them have sex. He even writes books about it and shit.”
“He really IS a loser, isn’t he? Isn’t he some kind of professor or something?”
“Yup. Luke calls him a professor of cuck studies. Makes me realize that my mom is right that college is a total scam.”
“Hey, watch it now!”
“Sorry, honey, but you’re studying accounting at community college, which is practical. He teaches at that bullshit liberal arts college. The tuition there is like 50 grand a year. And this is what you get for your money?!,” Kevin said, pointing at me and chuckling.
“Can I see his cock cage? I’ve never seen one before.”
“Pull down your pantyhose, Wally, and show Miss Kaylee.”
“Yes, sir.” I pulled down the yoga pants to my mid thigh, revealing my chastity cage, barely concealed by a pair of sheer, bikini style panties.
“Fuck, he’s wearing panties!”, said Kaylee, laughing. “Look how red his face his.”
This particular chastity cage consisted of a series of metallic rings surrounding my cock, the flesh visible between the bars. Kaylee walked over to me and crouched down to get a closer look. After lowering my panties, she tapped the edge of her plastic gaming controller against the metal of the cage, creating a pinging noise.
“It’s so tiny. And so are his little balls. I guess they make him shave all of his hair off. He’s hung more like a mouse than a horse. I can see why Brooke missed your brother. Check it out, his little cock is twitching! It’s trying to get hard, but it can’t, the poor thing.” She giggled.
Indeed, she was correct. This degrading inspection and conversation was causing my cock to throb painfully against its confines.
“I got no interest in seeing that,” said Kevin, to my relief.
“Sir, miss, may I please be excused to clean the truck now? I have to be home by 6.”
“Bring us both a glass of sweet tea from the fridge first. Then you can get to work,” said Kevin.
After I served them their glasses of tea, Kevin made sure we entered each other’s numbers into our iPhones. He wanted to be able to summon me if they needed anything. Afterwards, they sat back down on the couch, propped their bare feet on the coffee table and resumed their game.
One good thing about them living out in the country was that there was no one nearby to witness my humiliation as I worked. I started off wearing a hoodie over my T-shirt, but the forecast Luke had read last week was accurate. When I checked my iPhone, it was 69 degrees, which is absolutely insane in Ohio in December. I remembered with annoyance his dismissive remark about climate change. Luke is one of those guys who would deny climate change even if (or perhaps I should say, when) palm trees and sunflowers started popping up all over Greenland. In any case, the vigorous scrubbing required to remove the embedded grime on Kevin’s truck caused me sweat quite a lot, so I removed the hoodie. It was so hot that part of me wished I was wearing a speedo. Not only was the outside of the truck a mess, but the inside was full of old bottles, coffee cups and fast food containers.
About an hour into my work, I heard my phone ping from where it was lying nearby (one of the things I hated about the yoga pants Brooke bought me was that they had no pockets). I picked it up to read the following text from the most recent addition to my contacts: “Bring us more tea and a snack. There’s microwave popcorn in the pantry.”
This was unbelievable. Here I was, cleaning every inch of his truck, and he actually expected me to stop, clean my hands, and prepare and serve drinks and snacks to him and to his equally lazy girlfriend. A power play, pure and simple, right out of Luke’s playbook. What nerve! I rubbed my hands briefly against my bottom; the feel of the lycra helped adjust my attitude. I then swallowed my resentment and did precisely as commanded.
Neither of them even bothered to look up as I placed the popcorn and drinks next to their feet on the coffee table, so engrossed were they with their game. I worked on the truck for another 90 minutes or so, but was probably only about two-thirds done by the time the sun set. Not only did I need to be home to fix dinner, but I needed sunlight to finish cleaning properly. When I went back into the living room, quite remarkably Kevin and Kaylee were still absorbed in the same game, with the same type of obnoxious music blaring.
“Sir…”
“Shut up, can’t you see we’re in the middle of a game?!”, Kevin snapped.
“My apologies, sir.”
I stood next to them silently for about five minutes before watching one of the figures on the screen collapse to the sound of furious shooting noises.
“Bastard. He got me,” said Kevin.
“I’m done for, too,” said Kaylee, and a minute later, her figure was also apparently shot.
“What was so important that you had to interrupt our game?,” Kevin said to me.
“Again, sir. I apologize, but it’s almost dark and I haven’t been able to finish cleaning your truck. I need light to finish, and I also need to get home to make dinner. I can come back tomorrow to finish up, sir, if that is acceptable to you. I probably will need two more hours.”
“I have a job at 10:30, so need to leave by 10. I’m busy the rest of the day. So you’ll need to be here by sunrise.”
I was completely exhausted, and faced an even more daunting day tomorrow when I had to make my second appearance at Paul’s and Anna’s condo. But what choice did I have?
“Yes, sir. I will see you bright and early.” I then rushed home to begin dinner. I also had 200 more punishment lines to complete.
December was off to a pretty busy start as well. My new normal, apparently.

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I have recently hit a few different milestones with my amazing Goddess and it fills me with excitement, satisfaction, and desire to press on to our next major milestone! I also look forward to the special rewards/celebrations that are planned for reaching new heights.
While also being a big gamer, I had a fun little thought to turn some of these milestones into little achievement badges/trophies. I know Throne also have their own little achievement system and I won't deny that this idea was partially inspired by their little achievement system.
Examples of some achievements, I thought of so far:

1. 6 Months of Servitude
2. 1 Year of Servitude (Continued years of service can be another achievement)
3. First 3 digit send
4. First 4 digit send
5. Thousand Dollars in Total Sends
6. Ten Thousand Dollars in Total Sends
7. First Findom Game
8. First Drain
9. IRL meeting
10. Shopping Spree (Either Online or In Person)
11. Gamer - Fund a video game related purchase
12. Thinking of You - Sent just because you wanted to uplift their day
13. Other Kink based achievements
    1. Chastity- new achievement per milestone (1 week, 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 9 month, 1 year)
    2. Used Clothing / Content
       1. First sock purchase
       2. First panty purchase
       3. First Digital Content purchase
    3. Cuckold
       1. First Date Funded (new achievement possible on major milestone of dates)
       2. First Experience Story heard/told
       3. Total Cuck (Either saw or heard being cuck live)
    4. Humiliation
       1. Humiliating Post - Make a humiliating post about yourself in one of the many subreddits
       2. Body Writing
       3. Cum eater

I figure these fun achievements could be fun for both the sub and the domme to play and explore with.
Curious on what others think are important milestones or achievements in this dynamic? Also would love any other ideas the community have for achievement ideas. Additionally how have you rewarded or been rewarded for important milestones?
​

Hello, I 'm a 44 year old WM, fit, D/D free, looking for naughty friends (females or couples) for daytime fun (I work nights).
I'm open-minded, well educated, world-traveled, and I love a good conversation. I'm into many things sexually..just ask! I also like hotwives, cuckold couples, breeding kinks, picture/video, and more!
Please be drama free, horny, REAL, and DTF. Age/ethnicity/marital status not important.

It is Sunday 21.04.2024. Long winter behind us. A bit snowing now here in the central Europe.
I am struggling inside of myself what to do, it is eating me. I cannot sleep :-/
I want to write down my thoughts, it helps a bit as well.
This post is about trying to get opinions from other people because I feel overwhelmed what to do.
I believe generally in the good of the people this is why I am sharing my story with the world.
I am 44 years old, divorced, have a son age of 6. I am European.
My girlfriend is 37 years old, from Colombia, no kids.
Let’s call her Julia.
We are 3 years together. Most of the time living together. Living in different countries in Europe, traveling a lot.
Like every relationship we have our up and downs but hey “Houston we’ve got a problem”.
Julia’s legal status in Europe is “in process”. Since we are together, she did not work one day (I mean to earn money). Financial part of the relationship is completely on my shoulders.
In my opinion, my girlfriend has some alcohol problem.
Chapter 1 – Disco
We have been together in a disco (I love to dance) and around 2am I said
“It is time to go home as tomorrow we have to drive 1000km by car”
She was kind of upset, angry. I felt uncomfortable but nothing really bad here.
First strange situation like that.
Chapter 2 – Oktoberfest 2022
Day 1 – after the first glass of Oktoberfest-beer (which is a strong one), and the glass (in German called Maß, 1 Liter) she simply couldn’t stop, even if we have been in the middle of the week.
After getting drunk she fall from the bench to the floor (not having insurance, just to mention).
In the meantime she was going to other tables, sniffing white powder (snuff) from some random Australian guys hands, leaving me many times alone.
Of course I was the sober one to take care of Julia and bring her home safely.
It was a huge effort to take Julia out of the Oktobefest-Tent. It took me like 2 hours of discussions, verbal assaults from her side.
Day 2 – Few days later I decided to give a second chance to Oktoberfest. It was still something new to Julia. I wanted to be good and give her another Oktoberfest experience.
One of the most traumatic evenings in my life :-(
Same story, she drank one big beer and it started.
Next to us at the Oktoberfest-Table was some older Italian guy, around 55 years old, small, bold. As a man not really attractive in my opinion. Normal, average guy.
Just to mention, I am a tall guy (186cm, 6.1feet), big guy (wide shoulders), naturally blond, kind of attractive. At least not ugly :-)
And my girlfriend started in front of me to call attention of this guy.
Touching him, asking why he did not buy the Oktoberfest-Heart for Julia (because he bought it for his wife/girlfriend/etc). Julia was trying desperately to get this heart. Teasing him as he would be David Beckham in his best times. Just in front of me.
I felt embarrassed and humiliated.
Then I went to the toilet, away for 3 Minutes, coming back to the table. They disappeared. She is dancing with the Italian guy like 10 meters away. I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked him to dance.
I was boiling inside of me. Now the story really starts.
Same game, getting Julia back to the car, as I must work next day.
Julia doesn’t want go back, she stays here. She said I am a loser and don’t know how to enjoy the life.
I am trying to be good. It was very cold (around 0C) outside, convince her to come back to the car and home.
She ran away to the crowd.
What to do? I cannot leave her. I am looking for her.
Remember, Julia’s legal status in European Union, no insurance, around drunk guys, some sexual predators’ immigrants from Middle East walking in groups through the crowd in the night looking for an easy target.
I try to convince her, take her to car. She starts to by physically aggressive.
She removes my hands, scratches my face with her nails and then the first hit.
Julia’s fist in my face.
A medium hit.
Then we move to the side and she hits me again with her fist.
And again.
The 4th hit at the backyard of a carousel. Was “Mike Tyson” like.
Strong hit straight to my jaw. I’ve lost consciousness for about 2 seconds, being a pretty big guy.
“Fun fact”, Julia was hitting me and people arrived trying to protect her.
Threaten me with “I wil call the police. Leave her alone”
I was hoping for surveillance cameras where there :-(
How easy nowadays they can make you responsible for things you did not do.
Inside of me I was thinking “I will live this stupid b1tch here, let her Police control her (and deport) or some nice refugee will take care of her” :-(
But I couldn’t. Even after she was humiliating me with an older Italian in the Oktoberfest Tent and then hitting several times my face, scratching it to the blood, I was still there, I felt responsible for her.
Thanks to zero degree outside and time passing (like 2 hours), the alcohol evaporated, and I could convince her to go back to the car and drive back home. On the way back she fell twice to the floor and once almost broke her ankle (remember, no insurance, if there will be any treatment necessary, I will have to pay for it)
I couldn’t sleep the whole night, next day at work I was exhausted. Julia was sleeping like a baby.
First time in my life a woman beat me. I could theoretically hit back (self defense) but I could not.
It is not about that a woman hit a big boy and my masculine pride was affected.
It is about that someone who suppose to love me, be good to me, can do such things.
Chapter 3 – relaxing evening with a glass of wine.
It started nice. We drank a glass of wine, chilling, netflix.
Then I stop to drink as it was in middle of the week.
Julia couldn’t stop.
Mostly when she is drunk, she starts the sex game which is not sexy for me at all.
It is too easy, to primitive for me. Does not turn me on.
I don’t like favela girls, giving themselves like piece of meat in supermarket.
For me a woman is a beautiful flower, I want to admire. Take care of. Protect.
My soul is a romantic one. I respect all the women. Don’t see them as a f*ck toy.
Sex is somewhere at the end.
A woman for me is a delicate flower and not a horny bitch on heat looking for some random d*ck.
Such attitude ruins my level of being horny.
So it affected my erection (In 99% of the cases I fortunately don’t have erection issues).
Julia said to me “What kind of men you are, when you don’t want to f*ck me?”
Trying to make me horny, she put her fingers in her vag1na and then push them to my mouth.
The smell of alcohol, being aggressive like b1tch on heat, putting the fingers in my throat there was no chance for a good sex.
I think I felt kind of raped :-(
First time in my life.
As I was seeing it will not work. I just stopped and wanted to leave the room.
Then it started:

1. Julia calling me several time “F*cker” and “go and f*ck yourself”
   
2. Screaming at me
   
3. Your ex-wife is a piece of sh1t (the mother of my son)
   
4. Julia tried to convince me to have sex with “you will not regret; I will do everything what you want”
   
5. Starting to be physically violent towards me. I just removed her hands of me and trying to keep safe distance and ask Julia to leave me in peace.
   
6. I was super stressed if all the situation (neighbors) will not cause a “domestic violence”
   
7. Julia saying to me several times:
   

a. “Did you f*ck today someone at your office”
b. “This is why you are losing in life”
I started to record with my phone (video) Julias behavior because many times she is saying next day “I did not do this or that” :-( Making fool out of me.
As she saw the phone pointed to her, she calmed down.
One more thing about “you are losing in life”. It really touched me.
I doubt myself having friends much more successful financially than me.
Even If I finish a good university in Computer Science, I speak 4 languages, I do work for a world-famous company on a good position.
Having two good cars, last year I bought a decent house with pool in Spain.
Remember, Julia never worked, never contributed 1 EURO to our daily expenses since we are together three years.
I think it is not cool and not fair saying to someone “you are losing in life”
At least in my world.
Chapter 4 – fiesta en Espana.
In the place where I bought the house in Spain there was a local party of that town.
It was the night from Saturday to Sunday. Early morning on Monday I have to drive back 1800km (1200 miles) and we both were actually super tired. I did not want to go, but I said: “lets have look for one hour or two how our new town is celebrating”
Same game: I drank one beer with alcohol (as someone has to drive the car) and then started with beer zero.
Julia drank in total like 7 alcohol beers.
As Julia starts to be drunk same pattern:

1. Touching other guys in front of me, hugging them

(fun fact, she was explaining day after it’s the Spanish culture)

1. Leaving me alone for 10-15 Minutes in the crowd (we don’t know much people in the new place)
   
2. Julia was sharing her telephone number with random people (mostly guys)
   
3. I have to give my shoulders and hand that Julia doesn’t fall down or brake something (remember she still doesn’t have insurance, legal status in Europe)
   

The party finished at 3am (music stopped to play)
We stayed until 3:30am
At home at 4am.
4:30 in the beds.
Again, I could not sleep humiliated.
Sunday was the only day I could rest before traveling back by electric car (you have to charge on the way :-) ) this long road trip back to central Europe. I was exhausted.
Julia simply doesn’t have the common sense/empathy “ok this guy had extremely intense 2 weeks in Spain, in one day he must start his journey of 1800km. I care about him, let’s stay 1-2 hours to see the new town around and go back home. I care about him. I want him to be in a good shape driving such a long distance”
The party finished 3am and Julia did not want to go back home, talking with all the people.
I was staying alone in the middle of the crowd until one guy realized what is going on and called Julia.
She was literally not giving a f*ck, where I am, what I am doing, if I will be ok to drive two days in a row 10h per day.
I think Julia does not respect me deep down inside her soul. This is why she allow herself pleasing other guys right in my face, alle the violence (verbal and physical) towards me.
Julia treats me like a weak men, that “deserves” such treatment.
What is even worst for me, the guys Julia tries to please are nothing special.
So when she tries to attract them, what it says about me? :-(
After the fiesta en España, I told to Julia “If your boyfried would be a muslim guy, you would have another fiesta. A sad one”. Perhaps I should be more offensive, but I can’t. It is against my values and how I treat women. I am not like that.
Summary
I believe in a partnership. I am not “owning” my girlfriend. I give her space and freedom.
For me being on this planet it is all about being good, respectful.
I am afraid to have a drink/wine going to a party with my own girlfriend and then potentially a sexual trauma, pleasing other guys in my face or physical/verbal violence.
I feel like a f*cking cuckold/sponsoloser in life/ you name it :-(
I know it affects my sleep, my thoughts are permanently around it.
I feel humiliated, red in my face, my hands are shaking just to think about it.
How do you see it good people out there?