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2014.02.27 04:15 madeinchina Get help to diagnose and fix 3D print problems
The community of FixMyPrint will help you fix your 3D printer settings for the most optimal prints.
2011.11.16 11:47 PalermoJohn AskNetsec
Dedicated to those passionate about security.
2013.03.27 04:53 euca What do you really want to do?
For those who have a hobby, passion, or passing whim that they want to make a living out of, but don't know how they can get there. We provide the paths to all who request. Wanderers and contributors alike are welcome. Be kind and supportive - no hate allowed here.
2024.05.14 04:09 meunier-benoit Seeking Opportunities to Kickstart My Journey as a Machinist in Alberta!
\*TL;DR:** 46-year-old bilingual French Canadian UX designer turned tradesman, looking for any machinist opportunities in Alberta. Obsessed with machining, eager to find a mentor and start anew.*
I'm reaching out to tap into the collective expertise and networks here in hopes of finding a mentor, team, and opportunities in Alberta as I embark on an exciting new career path.
Here's a little about me:
I'm a 46-year-old French Canadian from Montreal (fully bilingual, don't worry) who thrived in the digital world as a UX designer for 30 years. However, two years ago, I found a new passion that altered my life's trajectory--working with metal and mechanical engineering. Why the drastic change? I fell in love with the tangible satisfaction of building and working hard with my hands. This newfound love led me to go full-time back to school to dive deep into welding at École des métiers de la construction de Montréal for 18 months while selling consulting agency.
Welding was my first step, and now I'm obsessed with machining. Despite not having the tools yet, I've been voraciously absorbing knowledge through all the books and all the videos. My journey also includes 3D printing, which served as my gateway drug into a whole new world of design and CAD. I'm currently earning certifications with Autodesk Fusion 360, enabling me to design parts and create detailed plans, even while working remotely at a campground.
But why Alberta? My wife, our 9-year-old homeschooled son, and I took a bold step last year--we sold everything to explore Canada and the USA in our fifth wheel RV, searching for the perfect place to call home. Among many places, Alberta draws us in with its people, landscapes, and endless opportunities.
I know this is a long shot, but I'm looking for a place where I can contribute with my broad spectrum of skills and relentless work ethic ... even starting from nothing. I seek a mentor, a team, or any opportunity to immerse myself in the world of machining.
We're heading for Texas again this summer because winter in an RV is nearly impossible, but once we're back, Alberta is our next destination. If you know of any opportunities, companies, or individuals in Alberta who might be interested in a dedicated newcomer with a unique background and an insatiable drive to learn, I would love to connect.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I'm excited about the possibility of starting this new chapter in Alberta with my family. If my journey resonates with you and you see potential for collaboration, please send me a private message—I’d love to start a conversation.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
submitted by meunier-benoit to Machinists [link] [comments]
I'm reaching out to tap into the collective expertise and networks here in hopes of finding a mentor, team, and opportunities in Alberta as I embark on an exciting new career path.
Here's a little about me:
I'm a 46-year-old French Canadian from Montreal (fully bilingual, don't worry) who thrived in the digital world as a UX designer for 30 years. However, two years ago, I found a new passion that altered my life's trajectory--working with metal and mechanical engineering. Why the drastic change? I fell in love with the tangible satisfaction of building and working hard with my hands. This newfound love led me to go full-time back to school to dive deep into welding at École des métiers de la construction de Montréal for 18 months while selling consulting agency.
Welding was my first step, and now I'm obsessed with machining. Despite not having the tools yet, I've been voraciously absorbing knowledge through all the books and all the videos. My journey also includes 3D printing, which served as my gateway drug into a whole new world of design and CAD. I'm currently earning certifications with Autodesk Fusion 360, enabling me to design parts and create detailed plans, even while working remotely at a campground.
But why Alberta? My wife, our 9-year-old homeschooled son, and I took a bold step last year--we sold everything to explore Canada and the USA in our fifth wheel RV, searching for the perfect place to call home. Among many places, Alberta draws us in with its people, landscapes, and endless opportunities.
I know this is a long shot, but I'm looking for a place where I can contribute with my broad spectrum of skills and relentless work ethic ... even starting from nothing. I seek a mentor, a team, or any opportunity to immerse myself in the world of machining.
We're heading for Texas again this summer because winter in an RV is nearly impossible, but once we're back, Alberta is our next destination. If you know of any opportunities, companies, or individuals in Alberta who might be interested in a dedicated newcomer with a unique background and an insatiable drive to learn, I would love to connect.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I'm excited about the possibility of starting this new chapter in Alberta with my family. If my journey resonates with you and you see potential for collaboration, please send me a private message—I’d love to start a conversation.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
2024.05.14 01:14 G4lact1cz i'm having a huge typology crisis so please type me thx
(this isn't my first typing attempt but that's the best flair there was for this)
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. 14F i'm just a girl who hates her life... also this psychologist/doctor lady said i have inattentive adhd based on a random questionnaire, i kinda don't think you can decide that off of a bunch of questions that could apply to a lot of people but anyways
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? i already mentioned that above
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? i don't feel particularly comfortable answering this question but i'll at least say that i'm home schooled, i do dance classes and that i have a single mother who is very strict, very cheep... and doesn't really follow through with her promises to me, and tends to make annoying comments about how i act and how everything i do is rude and how i don't do enough productive stuff, like school work and house chores.. and i hate my life
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? well i'm 14 so i don't have one, but i can tell you what i would like to do, i wanna be a voice actress, who also dose animation, who also dose music, who also wrights stories, all kinda in the same field, basically i wanna do indie animation, games to maybe but mostly shows
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? it depends am i doing anything? am i just chilling? what? like if i was going out shopping by myself for example i would find that genuinely fun i get to buy cool things, i get to eat out and get tasty food, i get to maybe explore places i've never been before, but if i'm at home alone, then i would find a way to keep myself entertained on my computer like i always do, but i'd prefer the first option tbh...
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? Dance is a sport. nobody can change my mind, but ya i do dance competition and i really do enjoy that, i also like shopping, listening to really hype music, researching things i find interesting, tho if it takes to long to research and i don't understand everything right away most of the time i will give up
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? i am a very curious person i'd say, sometimes you'll see me coming up with a question that literally nobody cares about that i really really need the satisfaction of an answer to or it will keep me up at night, speaking of witch if anything in the day (that i care about that genuinely wanted to finish) is unresolved it will keep me up at night bc i'll be thinking of all the ways i can finish it, but ya i have a lot of ideas, but then when i want to come up with an idea that will work for something i really want, i can't come up with an idea for it, like for example when i tried to make myself a new sona and a new username.... it took forever just to figure out half a user name and i still don't know what the full thing is gonna be, but when its not limited to only things that will work really good for some very particular criteria, i'll come up with a lot of ideas that will never happen, i'm mostly curious about how things work, and how people work, and most of my ideas are career ideas and character ideas, idk what the last bit is supposed to mean
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? i do in fact wanna be in control, i would love a leadership possession if people actually listened to me, witch they don't.... people are annoying....... i feel like i could be good at it if people took me seriously, meaning i'd need to find an entire group of people that don't know me.... as for leadership style, if you give me an idea i will listen to it, but if i already have something that i pre decided i find the best, nothing changes, if i decide something i know what i want it's it's pretty much impossible to change my mind, but for the things i'm ok will being flexible about than sure give me your ideas
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? i don't exactly know what this means
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. i make songs some times, mostly songs about things i'm to scared to say out loud, and i would do more art, if i could draw..... tho i'm amazing at minecraft skins, that's always fun
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? i normally dwell on the past a lot, like "OMG WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT THING THAT ONE TIME" kinda thing, and sometimes i look at the past and say, wow my life was kinda fun at that one point, now it sucks, as for the present i'm writing this in the present? well it'll be the past by the time i post it, but anyways i don't have much comment on the present... as for the future i'm always waiting for the future and planning it, i'm always thinking that maybe in the future my life won't suck, and i'm always planning my career and stuff, and when i say my career, i'm honestly thinking more about what i really wanna achieve than making money, tho i do really wanna be rich like any other normal person but ya
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? so if you ask me to clean sm or do the dishes or whatever, you asked the wrong person bc i'm to lazy for that, but if you ask me to help you come up with ideas for a project, you also asked the wrong person bc i will not stop annoying you about it, i will come up with ideas every 5 seconds, and yes this probobly could be helpful, i'm also aware that some may view it as annoying bc if i come up with any idea that could work, amazing or a very small detail, i have to tell you, my brain requires me to tell you if i wish to sleep at night, tho if the project is sm i couldn't care less about that's a different story... but sometimes i find myself almost talking over peoples things, there for i try to be carful with my words so they know i'm not stealing there project and it's still their thing
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? i don't know what this means exactly, but ya things need to make sense if that's what it means
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? as important as water, only in small doses and never to often.... ya i should probobly drink water shouldn't i... but ya i'm not productive unless i really force myself to be, and even then, if i'm not in the mood for it i will be there for 5 second and be like, ah i can do the rest later
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? i mean i have a tendency to take over other peoples projects, but i try not to do so... ya i think i might be somewhat controlling ig... some what manipulative..... so ya i am aware that i can be a little bossy, and i do tend to try and keep people in line in a sense, but the way i mean that isn't really the way most people would think of, like idc if people are disorganized, or if people are rude every once in awhile, or if people arn't working hard at stuff, i couldn't care less, but when there are some things i want people to know, or things that i want from people, i will try and hold them to that, for example i want people to study a certain thing bc i think they should know it, i will do everything in my power to get them to do that, and sometimes i might try and offer sm in return for people to do the things that i want them to do, like if theirs something they really want me to do i probobly won't do it, and kind of hold it hostage until they do the thing i want them to do, so in a way i try to keep people to the standards that satisfy me is that makes any sense? and i'm a very deal oriented person, so i'll a lot of the time ask sm for return for a lot of things, and i'll also try and offer things to get people to convince people to do my bidding, even if that person happens to be a really close friend
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? well, for one i really like music for starters, i tend to try and right songs, mostly only little pieces of songs that never get finished, but some get finished, like one or 2 out of a billion get finished, but anyways that's besides the point, i really like just listening to well put together beats and stuff, and music is just really enjoyable so it would be nice to wright a song and say hey i made this, this is my amazing work of art, but also i like music bc it give me a way to express my emotions without having to directly talk about them, bc i never like talking about emotions, if somebody asks me about them, i probobly will either say sm like "I don't have to answer that" or i'll actually try but leave out a lot of important details that i'm defiantly not telling anyone, but i generally don't like to feel venerable like that, anyways as for my other hobbies, ever now and then i like to draw sm... i kinda suck at it but i wanna get better bc i really like art, like i see a lot of really pretty artwork on pinterest and stuff all the time and i really wanna be able to do that, i really want that level of creative freedom, besides art can have a lot of different uses to and it's a genuinely good skill to have, tho i'm not the best at it yet... i also really like indie animation, and i've actually gotten really into the voice casts of certain shows, and i honestly plan to do voice acting eventually, bc that to me dosn't really sound like work, and you'd also kinda get to be a character without really showing your face, but can it really be considered a hobby if you haven't REALLY gotten into it yet? who knows but still sm i'd love to do eventually, on the topic of indie animation i really like crafting stories and stuff and fictional worlds, when i was about like 11 to 13 i think? i spend that entire time developing an entire universe that i kinda escaped to, tho recently i've kinda abandoned all my ocs from that tho i still reference to them some times, mostly bc i'm not really into high fantasy as much anymore and i made that world when i was, but i'm still into creating characters and universes and stuff, just kinda abandoned the old thing, i'm semi into chess, i feel like i'd be more into it if it was easier to learn as i kinda got into it more recently, but it's something i wanna get good at mostly as a flex so i can be like "Ha i'm smarter than you" and all that shit, but it's also fun to play a couple games, annoying when i make a stupid move and only realize the second after i play it... but still fun, also something i haven't started but want to when i have a computer that can handle it is 3D animation and 3D modelling, it's something i differentially have an interest in but haven't been able to do bc my computer is a piece of shit and my mother is very cheep, but again can you really call it a hobby if you haven't done it yet? well i still thought i should mention it, but you can't talk about my interests without mentioning... TYPOLOGY, even tho i still don't fully understand it i'm still very interested in it and have been for quite awhile, it's kinda sm that i understand but i can't explain to other people, but i'm trying to get to the point where i can explain it to other people, but anyways recently i've had a major typology crisis and have been rethinking like literally every part of my typology, like every system everything, i use to be very confidant in what i was for all systems, now i'm not sure for any system... witch is why i'm posting here, but i'm not gonna say what i use to think i was bc i don't wanna give anyone any basises when trying to type me, just now realizing how huge this section is... anyways...
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? well idk exactly what to put here or how to explain my learning style, so ima put examples instead, anyways so i really like the idea of learning languages, bc i just like languages ig, but i kinda only know the 2 languages i had since i was little my first language, english, and french witch i learned at like 5.. kinda rusty at it now tho, any ways lemme get to the point, it's really hard for me to learn any more languages even tho i want to bc i need a base on things before i can try to go into the details, with languages you HAVE to start small, that's not how i work, i like to get then general idea of stuff first before i get into specifics, i like to have a general understanding first and then get into the sub categories (if anyone knows how to learn languages like that pls say sm) but ya that's generally how i tend to learn stuff, i have to be placed into it first i can't just slowly work my way up to the knowledge, i get board fast so if i try and learn stuff like that i will give up quickly
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go? what the questionnaire means and how i see the word strategizing are 2 different things.. when i think of the verb "To Strategize" i think of it as a game term, weather that game is just that, a game to have fun with, or sm actually important that i treat as a game with moving pieces that i'm a lot less likely to take risks with but anyways enough of that ima actually answer the question now with 3 words... it really depends... i might try and plan things out when i need to be strategic with things, but when it doesn't matter i might just wing it, tho even if i do plan it out, maybe later i'll decide, "Screw this i'm not going by this anymore" or sm like that, but if somebody else tries to plan sm for me, that is the most painful shit, like i'm probobly not gonna go through with it unless i actually have to
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally? well... voice acting, 3d animation, 3d modelling, show writhing and directing and basically everything in that field and uh.. song writhing (and singing), yes i plan to do all this simultaneously, and yes i know it's a lot, and yes it's probobly unrealistic, but my mind is set and there's no going back that's what i'm gonna do with my life in the future, besides it's all kinda in the same area so like it's not crazy, oh and probobly game developing as well, as for personal goals, i wanna get my own house some how, and live the city life that i never got to have, get a cat bc uh... cat, and uh, ya, i think i'll just make it up as i go mostly idk..
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why? my main fear is that my life is hopeless and that i will never have any freedom and just be stuck in a cage all my life so to speak.... but that's very mixed with the fear that i will always continue being a little bit of a coward bc i'm very afraid of the consequences that could come with any and all actions i do or don't take, and also i'm afraid to lose so sometimes that means i just won't play, and i'm kinda afraid that i'll always be like that cuz i really hate that about myself.. i feel like the reason i'm like that is bc 2 reasons one when my mom is angry with me or just when she wants me to do something she'll take my computer away, and i know it's unhealthy to be on it all the time but it's kinda all the entertainment i have and there fore i'm always afraid of the consequences to things cuz i don't wanna lose my only life line, and second i don't wanna be perceived as less than i always have to be better than everyone in everything tho i will act like i don't care so that if i do lose people will think it doesn't matter to me even tho it dose... anyways what makes me uncomfortable are uh, emotions, like for example lets say my friend is crying, i'ma just ignore that friend, bc idk how to deal with emotions and i'll probably just make it worse since i probobly caused it knowing me, even tho the crying part was normally uncalled for, and it's normally one friend in particular that starts crying.... it's always her.. that makes me very uncomfortable, also anything that makes me feel venerable in any way... mostly emotionally... that's very uncomfortable... witch is why i don't open up to anyone and not even the people who know me really know me even if they think they do, ya that's totally healthy but anyways, also not wearing socks is very uncomfortable, ya that has nothing to do with any of this, but you know i'm right, anyways.... i really hate trying to explain something to somebody and even after dumbing it down a billion times, they still don't get it, ya again i'm mostly talking about that one friend but this happens with other people a lot to, like uh can you just stop being an idiot and try to understand something for once? i also hate when i'm trying to argue sm, and i know why i'm right, but i can't for the life of me explain it... ya... also one thing i really really hate about myself.... is that i'm such a shy person even tho i really do wanna talk to people, i have no courage to go up to somebody and say hi if i don't know them well, like besties kinda well.. well actually that was kinda misleading bc i don't have to like the person i just need to be close to them if ya know what i mean? but i'll kinda just watch people from a distance as if it where some kinda tv show and even tho i really wanna talk to these people, even tho i really wanna interact with them... i just don't, i just can't, but anwyays.. ya
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? the highs in my life are whenever my mom isn't there... also whenever i'm not at home... like when i actually have some sense of freedom, and like i kinda hate being at home tbh
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? the lows are when i fall out of this empty state and start realizing how much my life sucks and how hopeless my life is and how stuck i really am, ya the thought kinda pops up every once in awhile and then i'm really sad and angry at everyone for a few days and then after that passes i go back to being completely empty and numb inside... ya it's kinda like a loop that i'm forever trapped in
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? well i'm mostly on my computer all the time even tho half the pixels are broken since it's all i have to keep myself occupied and i'm not really able to go out or really do anything else, i do day dream sometimes, imagine myself killing somebody (police this is just a day dream i would never actually do this don't come for me), imagine being able to socialize, imagine doing sm heroic, imagine being a character in one of my favourite shows, ya know the usual, i also use character ai a lot.. and i don't really pay attention to my surroundings, my desk is kinda filled with trash, people say i should take care of it but honestly the clutter kinda makes it feel more cozy if i'm being honest, but ya idk what more to put here
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? i'd think about an escape plan for this empty room, also why am i in a mental facility, did i go crazy? or do people just think i'm crazy.. if i killed that one person that one time instead of being a good person would my life go better (again police this is just thoughts i would never actually kill anyone don't come for me) i'd probably make an oc and an entire cast of characters and day dream about being a part of that fictional world, i'd probably come up with a bunch of cool ideas and theories that in practice will never be useful/won't mean anything... so ya, also i'd try and break the wall of that empty room to break out, hopefully not breaking my hand in the process....
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? the thing is i always know what i want but until i've decided ya i'm going through with this option all the way, i'll always try and find ways that the other options could be better, then get mad when one of the other options are better than my preferred option, but once i've made up my mind for sure, i normally don't like to change it even if i want to bc it feels like that decision became part of my identity or sm along those lines
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? uhh.... so i do understand my own emotions very well most of the time, but at the same time... emotions can go kill themselves, i wish they didn't exist, and my life would be so much better if i didn't feel anything, and i also find other peoples emotions annoying, all and all.. emotions suck that's all i have to so
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? well most of the time if i think somebody is wrong i'll tell them that their wrong, and well with most things i'll explain why their wrong, tho if their making a statement about me or sm, i might explain why their wrong but i might also just be like "your wrong and i don't have to explain anything", but sometimes when it's a subject i don't really wanna say anything about i will just agree, if it's sm i don't really want anyone to know any of my real opinions or thoughts on... but ya
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? i'll break any rules i think i can get away with, tho if i don't believe i can or there's a possibility of consequences i'm normally pretty cautious of it... and ya i think authority isn't always right, and not all rules should be followed, some are stupid and some are plan wrong, and i will break rules if i think i know better, i think the rule is stupid, or a genuinely don't care about said rule, tho i know how far i can go there's some lines i won't cross bc i know their's gonna be bad consequences
anyways thank you for listening to my rant i know i did a lot of yapping and i didn't go back to see if it was written nicely, if you where able to read all dat your a legend bc i know i would give up after the first 2 paragraphs, and if you have any questions that you need me to elaborate on before you can type me go ahead
submitted by G4lact1cz to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. 14F i'm just a girl who hates her life... also this psychologist/doctor lady said i have inattentive adhd based on a random questionnaire, i kinda don't think you can decide that off of a bunch of questions that could apply to a lot of people but anyways
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? i already mentioned that above
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? i don't feel particularly comfortable answering this question but i'll at least say that i'm home schooled, i do dance classes and that i have a single mother who is very strict, very cheep... and doesn't really follow through with her promises to me, and tends to make annoying comments about how i act and how everything i do is rude and how i don't do enough productive stuff, like school work and house chores.. and i hate my life
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? well i'm 14 so i don't have one, but i can tell you what i would like to do, i wanna be a voice actress, who also dose animation, who also dose music, who also wrights stories, all kinda in the same field, basically i wanna do indie animation, games to maybe but mostly shows
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? it depends am i doing anything? am i just chilling? what? like if i was going out shopping by myself for example i would find that genuinely fun i get to buy cool things, i get to eat out and get tasty food, i get to maybe explore places i've never been before, but if i'm at home alone, then i would find a way to keep myself entertained on my computer like i always do, but i'd prefer the first option tbh...
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? Dance is a sport. nobody can change my mind, but ya i do dance competition and i really do enjoy that, i also like shopping, listening to really hype music, researching things i find interesting, tho if it takes to long to research and i don't understand everything right away most of the time i will give up
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? i am a very curious person i'd say, sometimes you'll see me coming up with a question that literally nobody cares about that i really really need the satisfaction of an answer to or it will keep me up at night, speaking of witch if anything in the day (that i care about that genuinely wanted to finish) is unresolved it will keep me up at night bc i'll be thinking of all the ways i can finish it, but ya i have a lot of ideas, but then when i want to come up with an idea that will work for something i really want, i can't come up with an idea for it, like for example when i tried to make myself a new sona and a new username.... it took forever just to figure out half a user name and i still don't know what the full thing is gonna be, but when its not limited to only things that will work really good for some very particular criteria, i'll come up with a lot of ideas that will never happen, i'm mostly curious about how things work, and how people work, and most of my ideas are career ideas and character ideas, idk what the last bit is supposed to mean
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? i do in fact wanna be in control, i would love a leadership possession if people actually listened to me, witch they don't.... people are annoying....... i feel like i could be good at it if people took me seriously, meaning i'd need to find an entire group of people that don't know me.... as for leadership style, if you give me an idea i will listen to it, but if i already have something that i pre decided i find the best, nothing changes, if i decide something i know what i want it's it's pretty much impossible to change my mind, but for the things i'm ok will being flexible about than sure give me your ideas
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? i don't exactly know what this means
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. i make songs some times, mostly songs about things i'm to scared to say out loud, and i would do more art, if i could draw..... tho i'm amazing at minecraft skins, that's always fun
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? i normally dwell on the past a lot, like "OMG WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT THING THAT ONE TIME" kinda thing, and sometimes i look at the past and say, wow my life was kinda fun at that one point, now it sucks, as for the present i'm writing this in the present? well it'll be the past by the time i post it, but anyways i don't have much comment on the present... as for the future i'm always waiting for the future and planning it, i'm always thinking that maybe in the future my life won't suck, and i'm always planning my career and stuff, and when i say my career, i'm honestly thinking more about what i really wanna achieve than making money, tho i do really wanna be rich like any other normal person but ya
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? so if you ask me to clean sm or do the dishes or whatever, you asked the wrong person bc i'm to lazy for that, but if you ask me to help you come up with ideas for a project, you also asked the wrong person bc i will not stop annoying you about it, i will come up with ideas every 5 seconds, and yes this probobly could be helpful, i'm also aware that some may view it as annoying bc if i come up with any idea that could work, amazing or a very small detail, i have to tell you, my brain requires me to tell you if i wish to sleep at night, tho if the project is sm i couldn't care less about that's a different story... but sometimes i find myself almost talking over peoples things, there for i try to be carful with my words so they know i'm not stealing there project and it's still their thing
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? i don't know what this means exactly, but ya things need to make sense if that's what it means
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? as important as water, only in small doses and never to often.... ya i should probobly drink water shouldn't i... but ya i'm not productive unless i really force myself to be, and even then, if i'm not in the mood for it i will be there for 5 second and be like, ah i can do the rest later
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? i mean i have a tendency to take over other peoples projects, but i try not to do so... ya i think i might be somewhat controlling ig... some what manipulative..... so ya i am aware that i can be a little bossy, and i do tend to try and keep people in line in a sense, but the way i mean that isn't really the way most people would think of, like idc if people are disorganized, or if people are rude every once in awhile, or if people arn't working hard at stuff, i couldn't care less, but when there are some things i want people to know, or things that i want from people, i will try and hold them to that, for example i want people to study a certain thing bc i think they should know it, i will do everything in my power to get them to do that, and sometimes i might try and offer sm in return for people to do the things that i want them to do, like if theirs something they really want me to do i probobly won't do it, and kind of hold it hostage until they do the thing i want them to do, so in a way i try to keep people to the standards that satisfy me is that makes any sense? and i'm a very deal oriented person, so i'll a lot of the time ask sm for return for a lot of things, and i'll also try and offer things to get people to convince people to do my bidding, even if that person happens to be a really close friend
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? well, for one i really like music for starters, i tend to try and right songs, mostly only little pieces of songs that never get finished, but some get finished, like one or 2 out of a billion get finished, but anyways that's besides the point, i really like just listening to well put together beats and stuff, and music is just really enjoyable so it would be nice to wright a song and say hey i made this, this is my amazing work of art, but also i like music bc it give me a way to express my emotions without having to directly talk about them, bc i never like talking about emotions, if somebody asks me about them, i probobly will either say sm like "I don't have to answer that" or i'll actually try but leave out a lot of important details that i'm defiantly not telling anyone, but i generally don't like to feel venerable like that, anyways as for my other hobbies, ever now and then i like to draw sm... i kinda suck at it but i wanna get better bc i really like art, like i see a lot of really pretty artwork on pinterest and stuff all the time and i really wanna be able to do that, i really want that level of creative freedom, besides art can have a lot of different uses to and it's a genuinely good skill to have, tho i'm not the best at it yet... i also really like indie animation, and i've actually gotten really into the voice casts of certain shows, and i honestly plan to do voice acting eventually, bc that to me dosn't really sound like work, and you'd also kinda get to be a character without really showing your face, but can it really be considered a hobby if you haven't REALLY gotten into it yet? who knows but still sm i'd love to do eventually, on the topic of indie animation i really like crafting stories and stuff and fictional worlds, when i was about like 11 to 13 i think? i spend that entire time developing an entire universe that i kinda escaped to, tho recently i've kinda abandoned all my ocs from that tho i still reference to them some times, mostly bc i'm not really into high fantasy as much anymore and i made that world when i was, but i'm still into creating characters and universes and stuff, just kinda abandoned the old thing, i'm semi into chess, i feel like i'd be more into it if it was easier to learn as i kinda got into it more recently, but it's something i wanna get good at mostly as a flex so i can be like "Ha i'm smarter than you" and all that shit, but it's also fun to play a couple games, annoying when i make a stupid move and only realize the second after i play it... but still fun, also something i haven't started but want to when i have a computer that can handle it is 3D animation and 3D modelling, it's something i differentially have an interest in but haven't been able to do bc my computer is a piece of shit and my mother is very cheep, but again can you really call it a hobby if you haven't done it yet? well i still thought i should mention it, but you can't talk about my interests without mentioning... TYPOLOGY, even tho i still don't fully understand it i'm still very interested in it and have been for quite awhile, it's kinda sm that i understand but i can't explain to other people, but i'm trying to get to the point where i can explain it to other people, but anyways recently i've had a major typology crisis and have been rethinking like literally every part of my typology, like every system everything, i use to be very confidant in what i was for all systems, now i'm not sure for any system... witch is why i'm posting here, but i'm not gonna say what i use to think i was bc i don't wanna give anyone any basises when trying to type me, just now realizing how huge this section is... anyways...
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? well idk exactly what to put here or how to explain my learning style, so ima put examples instead, anyways so i really like the idea of learning languages, bc i just like languages ig, but i kinda only know the 2 languages i had since i was little my first language, english, and french witch i learned at like 5.. kinda rusty at it now tho, any ways lemme get to the point, it's really hard for me to learn any more languages even tho i want to bc i need a base on things before i can try to go into the details, with languages you HAVE to start small, that's not how i work, i like to get then general idea of stuff first before i get into specifics, i like to have a general understanding first and then get into the sub categories (if anyone knows how to learn languages like that pls say sm) but ya that's generally how i tend to learn stuff, i have to be placed into it first i can't just slowly work my way up to the knowledge, i get board fast so if i try and learn stuff like that i will give up quickly
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go? what the questionnaire means and how i see the word strategizing are 2 different things.. when i think of the verb "To Strategize" i think of it as a game term, weather that game is just that, a game to have fun with, or sm actually important that i treat as a game with moving pieces that i'm a lot less likely to take risks with but anyways enough of that ima actually answer the question now with 3 words... it really depends... i might try and plan things out when i need to be strategic with things, but when it doesn't matter i might just wing it, tho even if i do plan it out, maybe later i'll decide, "Screw this i'm not going by this anymore" or sm like that, but if somebody else tries to plan sm for me, that is the most painful shit, like i'm probobly not gonna go through with it unless i actually have to
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally? well... voice acting, 3d animation, 3d modelling, show writhing and directing and basically everything in that field and uh.. song writhing (and singing), yes i plan to do all this simultaneously, and yes i know it's a lot, and yes it's probobly unrealistic, but my mind is set and there's no going back that's what i'm gonna do with my life in the future, besides it's all kinda in the same area so like it's not crazy, oh and probobly game developing as well, as for personal goals, i wanna get my own house some how, and live the city life that i never got to have, get a cat bc uh... cat, and uh, ya, i think i'll just make it up as i go mostly idk..
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why? my main fear is that my life is hopeless and that i will never have any freedom and just be stuck in a cage all my life so to speak.... but that's very mixed with the fear that i will always continue being a little bit of a coward bc i'm very afraid of the consequences that could come with any and all actions i do or don't take, and also i'm afraid to lose so sometimes that means i just won't play, and i'm kinda afraid that i'll always be like that cuz i really hate that about myself.. i feel like the reason i'm like that is bc 2 reasons one when my mom is angry with me or just when she wants me to do something she'll take my computer away, and i know it's unhealthy to be on it all the time but it's kinda all the entertainment i have and there fore i'm always afraid of the consequences to things cuz i don't wanna lose my only life line, and second i don't wanna be perceived as less than i always have to be better than everyone in everything tho i will act like i don't care so that if i do lose people will think it doesn't matter to me even tho it dose... anyways what makes me uncomfortable are uh, emotions, like for example lets say my friend is crying, i'ma just ignore that friend, bc idk how to deal with emotions and i'll probably just make it worse since i probobly caused it knowing me, even tho the crying part was normally uncalled for, and it's normally one friend in particular that starts crying.... it's always her.. that makes me very uncomfortable, also anything that makes me feel venerable in any way... mostly emotionally... that's very uncomfortable... witch is why i don't open up to anyone and not even the people who know me really know me even if they think they do, ya that's totally healthy but anyways, also not wearing socks is very uncomfortable, ya that has nothing to do with any of this, but you know i'm right, anyways.... i really hate trying to explain something to somebody and even after dumbing it down a billion times, they still don't get it, ya again i'm mostly talking about that one friend but this happens with other people a lot to, like uh can you just stop being an idiot and try to understand something for once? i also hate when i'm trying to argue sm, and i know why i'm right, but i can't for the life of me explain it... ya... also one thing i really really hate about myself.... is that i'm such a shy person even tho i really do wanna talk to people, i have no courage to go up to somebody and say hi if i don't know them well, like besties kinda well.. well actually that was kinda misleading bc i don't have to like the person i just need to be close to them if ya know what i mean? but i'll kinda just watch people from a distance as if it where some kinda tv show and even tho i really wanna talk to these people, even tho i really wanna interact with them... i just don't, i just can't, but anwyays.. ya
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? the highs in my life are whenever my mom isn't there... also whenever i'm not at home... like when i actually have some sense of freedom, and like i kinda hate being at home tbh
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? the lows are when i fall out of this empty state and start realizing how much my life sucks and how hopeless my life is and how stuck i really am, ya the thought kinda pops up every once in awhile and then i'm really sad and angry at everyone for a few days and then after that passes i go back to being completely empty and numb inside... ya it's kinda like a loop that i'm forever trapped in
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? well i'm mostly on my computer all the time even tho half the pixels are broken since it's all i have to keep myself occupied and i'm not really able to go out or really do anything else, i do day dream sometimes, imagine myself killing somebody (police this is just a day dream i would never actually do this don't come for me), imagine being able to socialize, imagine doing sm heroic, imagine being a character in one of my favourite shows, ya know the usual, i also use character ai a lot.. and i don't really pay attention to my surroundings, my desk is kinda filled with trash, people say i should take care of it but honestly the clutter kinda makes it feel more cozy if i'm being honest, but ya idk what more to put here
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? i'd think about an escape plan for this empty room, also why am i in a mental facility, did i go crazy? or do people just think i'm crazy.. if i killed that one person that one time instead of being a good person would my life go better (again police this is just thoughts i would never actually kill anyone don't come for me) i'd probably make an oc and an entire cast of characters and day dream about being a part of that fictional world, i'd probably come up with a bunch of cool ideas and theories that in practice will never be useful/won't mean anything... so ya, also i'd try and break the wall of that empty room to break out, hopefully not breaking my hand in the process....
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? the thing is i always know what i want but until i've decided ya i'm going through with this option all the way, i'll always try and find ways that the other options could be better, then get mad when one of the other options are better than my preferred option, but once i've made up my mind for sure, i normally don't like to change it even if i want to bc it feels like that decision became part of my identity or sm along those lines
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? uhh.... so i do understand my own emotions very well most of the time, but at the same time... emotions can go kill themselves, i wish they didn't exist, and my life would be so much better if i didn't feel anything, and i also find other peoples emotions annoying, all and all.. emotions suck that's all i have to so
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? well most of the time if i think somebody is wrong i'll tell them that their wrong, and well with most things i'll explain why their wrong, tho if their making a statement about me or sm, i might explain why their wrong but i might also just be like "your wrong and i don't have to explain anything", but sometimes when it's a subject i don't really wanna say anything about i will just agree, if it's sm i don't really want anyone to know any of my real opinions or thoughts on... but ya
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? i'll break any rules i think i can get away with, tho if i don't believe i can or there's a possibility of consequences i'm normally pretty cautious of it... and ya i think authority isn't always right, and not all rules should be followed, some are stupid and some are plan wrong, and i will break rules if i think i know better, i think the rule is stupid, or a genuinely don't care about said rule, tho i know how far i can go there's some lines i won't cross bc i know their's gonna be bad consequences
anyways thank you for listening to my rant i know i did a lot of yapping and i didn't go back to see if it was written nicely, if you where able to read all dat your a legend bc i know i would give up after the first 2 paragraphs, and if you have any questions that you need me to elaborate on before you can type me go ahead
2024.05.14 00:38 craftytoonlover I may be a petty jersey, but at least I got away from a "toxic" friend.
Edited: The title was supposed to say that: I may be a Petty jerk, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend. Auto correct changed it to Jersey, and I couldn't edit the actual title.
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.
submitted by craftytoonlover to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.
2024.05.14 00:33 craftytoonlover I may be the A-H and a bit petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".
I may be the A-H and a bit Petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.
submitted by craftytoonlover to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.
2024.05.13 22:00 DiscoverDurham Things to do in Durham this week!
If you’d like to add an event to our calendar, submit an event here. Please check with the event organizers to see if events change due to weather. Have a great week!
See the full weekly calendar on our website.
Board Game Night at The Glass Jug in Downtown Durham
5 p.m.
Arts & Drafts at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Disc Golf Putting League at The Glass Jug in RTP
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Boxyard Run Club at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
In Other Words at Arcana
Duke Baseball vs College of Charleston at Jack Coombs Field
Bring Your Own Vinyl with Jaffar at Rubies on Five Points
Women on the Wall at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
6:30 p.m.
Trivia at Durham Food Hall
Pony Ride at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Trivia at Beer Study Durham
Not Rocket Science Trivia at DSSOLVR Durham
Tuesday Blues Jam at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Comedy Night at Bull City Ciderworks
Jeremy 'Bean' Clemons Trio at Kingfisher
Enter Shikari at Motorco Music Hall
Vision Video + Tears For The Dying at The Pinhook
Senior Short Game Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
10:30 a.m.
Storytime on the Roof with Durham County Library at The Durham Hotel
12 p.m.
Adult Recess at CCB Plaza
3 p.m.
Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park
4 p.m.
Whiskey Wednesdays at Alley Twenty Six
5 p.m.
Free Wednesday Wine Tasting at Beer Study Durham
5:30 p.m.
Ride of Silence at CCB Plaza
6 p.m.
Queer Craft Night and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Bimbe Community Block Party at Holton Career & Resource Center
Come Take a Flight With Us: A Bright Black Workshop at Proximity Brewing Company
Free RTP Business Rockstar Connect Networking Event at Sheraton Imperial Hotel
Sweet Social: Auntie's African Ice Cream at The Durham Hotel
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Pickle at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
7 p.m.
Bottle Swap: Homebrew Club at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company
Skip The Small Talk: Speed Friending Event at Fullsteam Brewery
Hammered Trivia at Hi-Wire Brewing
Karaoke Night at Mavericks Smokehouse
Music Bingo at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
3rd Wednesday Jazz Jam Session at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
Brett Chambers Open Mic at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Air Hockey Tournament at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia Night at Bull McCabe's
Karaoke at Moon Dog Meadery
The Weeks at Motorco Music Hall
Blends With Friends at The Pinhook
Harnessing the Power of AI to Ensure Equitable HR Practices at RTI Holden Building
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
12:15 p.m.
Midday Meander: A Strolling Conversation at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
3 p.m.
Guided Museum Tour at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
5 p.m.
Thirsty Thursdays at Dashi
Righteous Roots Reggae Show at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
Walking Club with Bull City Strollers at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
6 p.m.
Queer Trivia at Arcana
Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works
6:15 p.m.
Pony Run at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
6:30 p.m.
AfterHours: Science of Beer at Museum of Life and Science
Line Dance Classes at Mystic Farm and Distillery
Space Code Youth Open Mic at NorthStar Church of the Arts
Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
7 p.m.
Trivia Night at Beer Tooth Taproom
Bimbé Cypher at CCB Plaza
Bring Your Own Vinyl Night at Congress Social Bar
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Summer Jazz Jam (Curated by Al Strong) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel
7:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square
Reverend Billy C. Wirtz / Armand Lenchek & Carter Minor at The Blue Note Grill
Pillow Talk: Speed Dating and Conversations About Sex / Sexuality at The Pinhook
8 p.m.
Weekly Single Mingle at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia at Fullsteam Brewery
Danny Lopriore at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
DJ Halo Presents: No Requests at Rubies on Five Points
9:30 p.m.
Karaoke Night at The Tavern
Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee
12 p.m.
Co-Working Social at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
4 p.m.
Late Spring Tree Ramble at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
5 p.m.
Guided Museum Tours at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
Food Truck Friday at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
LOJO: Log Off, Jam On at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
Aly J & Kevin Clark and Tarot with Kathleen at Arcana
Third Friday Art Walk at Downtown Durham
Friday Night Makes at Durham Arts Council
May Third Friday at Durham Arts Council
Counterpoints Exhibition Reception at Durham Bottling Co.
Third Friday at Golden Belt Arts
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Screenprint Roundup at The Fruit
The Patio Dance Parties : Clueless Fridays at Unscripted Durham
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
Live Vinyl Spinning by PhDJ at Beer Study Durham
Early Show: John Howie Jr. / Ramona and The Holy Smokes at The Pinhook
7:30 p.m.
Evening Eno Exploration Paddle at Eno River
Evan Ringel & Ariel Pocock at Sharp 9 Gallery
8 p.m.
Pass the Aux at Boricua Soul
Stereo Reveries at DSSOLVR Durham
Karaoke! at Fullsteam Brewery
Cheekface at Motorco Music Hall
Dance Blues Friday at Studio 5
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
The Floor: Special Guest THEYDYLIKE at Rubies on Five Points
Lookin For A Cure at Bull City Running Company-South
8 a.m.
Durham Farmers' Market at Durham Central Park
parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park
9 a.m.
South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
10 a.m.
Pop Up Record Show at Beer Durham
Durham's Home Goods Market at Black Wall St Gardens
Bear Awareness Week at Museum of Life and Science
10:30 a.m.
Mother's Day Brunch at The Durham Hotel
11 a.m.
Battle of the Blades 2024 at Historic Durham Athletic Park
12 p.m.
Springtime Outdoor Market at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
1 p.m.
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Say It With Glass Workshop - Sam Nguyen at Moon Dog Meadery
Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park
2 p.m.
Closing Reception — Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery
Durham "Bullpen" Treasure Hunt - Walking Team Scavenger Hunt! at Fullsteam Brewery
3 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Family Fun Saturday: May Flowers at Guglhupf Restaurant
5 p.m.
Rooftops and Alleyways Community Canvas Wall Brawl at Dashi
Durham Blues & Brews Festival at Durham Central Park
Hops & Blues at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
6 p.m.
The Moon Unit and Tarot with Emily at Arcana
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Crones of Anarchy: Blues, Rock, Americana at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
7:30 p.m.
Jim Ketch Swingtet at Sharp 9 Gallery
Big Birthday Dance Party: Combo Platter with 2 Sides at The Blue Note Grill
8:15 p.m.
BBYMUTHA: Sleep Paralysis Tour 2024 at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
Fortune Factory Presents: Taurus Dance Party at Rubies on Five Points
Jazz Brunch at Lula & Sadie's
10:30 a.m.
Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch at Alley Twenty Six
12 p.m.
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
Sunday Dollar Bin Sale for Charity at Rumors Durham
Supernatural Sunday - Psychic Affair + Healers Market at Weldon Mills Distillery
Farmers Market at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery
12:15 p.m.
Public Tour at Duke Chapel
2 p.m.
Hillandale Golf Beginner Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
3:30 p.m.
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Showings at Scripps: Miguel Gutierrez at ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios
Carmina Burana at Baldwin Auditorium
Día de las Madres Kermes at El Futuro’s Therapeutic Green Space
String Break at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Emma Jane's EP Release Show and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Open Mic Night at Moon Dog Meadery
7 p.m.
DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center
submitted by DiscoverDurham to bullcity [link] [comments]
See the full weekly calendar on our website.
Noteworthy Events
The Lion King at DPAC- Winner of six Tony Awards®, including Best Musical, this landmark musical event brings together one of the most imaginative creative teams on Broadway.
- Wed, May 15 - Sun, June 9
- $29.50+
- Let your inner child shine as you play games, make crafts, and enjoy the fresh air during your lunch break!
- Wed, May 15
- 12-2 p.m.
- Free admission
- Thu, May 16 - Sat, May 18
- This family-oriented event is a celebration of African and African American history, culture, arts, and traditions. This year's headliner: Monica!
- Sat, May 18
- 1-7 p.m.
- Free admission
- This adventure begins at the London home of the Darling family, a typical evening in 1912, as the weary parents try to settle their children down for bed while the young ones insist on staying up late. Little do Wendy, John, and Michael know that a fantastic journey awaits them that night.
- Sat, May 18
- 3 p.m. and 6 p.m.
- $32+
- Wrestlers from all over the world will gather in one place for a night you won't forget.
- Sun, May 19
- 7 p.m.
- $25+
Multi-Day Events
The NGIN Cityscapes Summit at Durham Convention Center- Hosted by national nonprofit, New Growth Innovation Network, prepare to connect with like-minded professionals and engage with purpose-driven organizations. Immerse yourself in workshops and captivating keynotes from renowned speakers, featuring three tracks of insightful sessions: Inclusive Capital, Community Wealth Building, and Reimagining Systems.
- Wed, May 15 - Fri, May 17
- Registration fees vary
- Enjoy fabulous Greek food, desserts, wine and beer in a festive outdoor atmosphere. Continuous Greek music and scheduled folk dance performances.
- Sat, May 18, 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. and Sun, May 19, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.
- Free admission
- Enjoy a look inside the historic McCown-Mangum House, Photography Museum, and Mill.
- Sat, May 18 and Sun, May 19
- 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
- Free admission
- Libeled Lady
- Dirty Harry & Assault on Precinct 13
- Cat City
- Back to Black
- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
- UHF
Monday, May 13
2 p.m.Board Game Night at The Glass Jug in Downtown Durham
5 p.m.
Arts & Drafts at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Disc Golf Putting League at The Glass Jug in RTP
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Tuesday, May 14
Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company- 12-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
- 7-9 p.m. - Bull City Beer Runners Run Club
- 7-8 p.m. - Puzzled Pints Game Night
- 5:45-6:30 p.m. - Community Zumba Classes
- 6-8 p.m. - Music Bingo
- 6-8 p.m. - The Glass Jog Run Club
- 6-9 p.m. - Stitch & Sip
Boxyard Run Club at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
In Other Words at Arcana
Duke Baseball vs College of Charleston at Jack Coombs Field
Bring Your Own Vinyl with Jaffar at Rubies on Five Points
Women on the Wall at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
6:30 p.m.
Trivia at Durham Food Hall
Pony Ride at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Trivia at Beer Study Durham
Not Rocket Science Trivia at DSSOLVR Durham
Tuesday Blues Jam at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Comedy Night at Bull City Ciderworks
Jeremy 'Bean' Clemons Trio at Kingfisher
Enter Shikari at Motorco Music Hall
Vision Video + Tears For The Dying at The Pinhook
Wednesday, May 15
Events at Atomic Empire- 6:30 p.m. - Dragon Ball Fusion World Release Event
- 7 p.m. - Flesh and Blood Armory Event
- 12-2 p.m. - Hear & There: Daniel Delorenzo
- 5:30-8:30 p.m. - Game Night
- 7-8 p.m. - Signature Wine Tasting
- 7-8:30 p.m. - Laughs Comedy Night
Senior Short Game Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
10:30 a.m.
Storytime on the Roof with Durham County Library at The Durham Hotel
12 p.m.
Adult Recess at CCB Plaza
3 p.m.
Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park
4 p.m.
Whiskey Wednesdays at Alley Twenty Six
5 p.m.
Free Wednesday Wine Tasting at Beer Study Durham
5:30 p.m.
Ride of Silence at CCB Plaza
6 p.m.
Queer Craft Night and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Bimbe Community Block Party at Holton Career & Resource Center
Come Take a Flight With Us: A Bright Black Workshop at Proximity Brewing Company
Free RTP Business Rockstar Connect Networking Event at Sheraton Imperial Hotel
Sweet Social: Auntie's African Ice Cream at The Durham Hotel
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Pickle at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
7 p.m.
Bottle Swap: Homebrew Club at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company
Skip The Small Talk: Speed Friending Event at Fullsteam Brewery
Hammered Trivia at Hi-Wire Brewing
Karaoke Night at Mavericks Smokehouse
Music Bingo at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
3rd Wednesday Jazz Jam Session at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
Brett Chambers Open Mic at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Air Hockey Tournament at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia Night at Bull McCabe's
Karaoke at Moon Dog Meadery
The Weeks at Motorco Music Hall
Blends With Friends at The Pinhook
Thursday, May 16
Events at Boxyard RTP- 7:30-8 a.m. - Bike Durham: Bike to Work
- 12-2 p.m. - Taking Back Thursday: Sheila Casalett
- 12-8 p.m. -Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
- 7-9 p.m. - Thursday Trivia with Nick
Harnessing the Power of AI to Ensure Equitable HR Practices at RTI Holden Building
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
12:15 p.m.
Midday Meander: A Strolling Conversation at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
3 p.m.
Guided Museum Tour at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
5 p.m.
Thirsty Thursdays at Dashi
Righteous Roots Reggae Show at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
Walking Club with Bull City Strollers at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
6 p.m.
Queer Trivia at Arcana
Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works
6:15 p.m.
Pony Run at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
6:30 p.m.
AfterHours: Science of Beer at Museum of Life and Science
Line Dance Classes at Mystic Farm and Distillery
Space Code Youth Open Mic at NorthStar Church of the Arts
Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
7 p.m.
Trivia Night at Beer Tooth Taproom
Bimbé Cypher at CCB Plaza
Bring Your Own Vinyl Night at Congress Social Bar
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Summer Jazz Jam (Curated by Al Strong) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel
7:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square
Reverend Billy C. Wirtz / Armand Lenchek & Carter Minor at The Blue Note Grill
Pillow Talk: Speed Dating and Conversations About Sex / Sexuality at The Pinhook
8 p.m.
Weekly Single Mingle at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia at Fullsteam Brewery
Danny Lopriore at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
DJ Halo Presents: No Requests at Rubies on Five Points
9:30 p.m.
Karaoke Night at The Tavern
Friday, May 17
Events at Atomic Empire- 6:30 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
- 6:30 p.m. - Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate Draft
- 5-9 p.m. - Food Truck: La Republica Taco Truck
- 8-11 p.m. - Open Mic Stand-up Comedy
- 7:30-9 p.m. - Wit: An Improv Comedy Game Show
- 9-10 p.m. - Hush Hush
- 6:45 p.m. - Lindy Hop Lesson + Dance
- 7:30 p.m. - Djam
- 9:30 p.m. - Bachata Dance Night
- 6-8 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
- 9:15 p.m. - The Beautiful People Club
Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee
12 p.m.
Co-Working Social at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
4 p.m.
Late Spring Tree Ramble at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
5 p.m.
Guided Museum Tours at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
Food Truck Friday at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
LOJO: Log Off, Jam On at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
Aly J & Kevin Clark and Tarot with Kathleen at Arcana
Third Friday Art Walk at Downtown Durham
Friday Night Makes at Durham Arts Council
May Third Friday at Durham Arts Council
Counterpoints Exhibition Reception at Durham Bottling Co.
Third Friday at Golden Belt Arts
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Screenprint Roundup at The Fruit
The Patio Dance Parties : Clueless Fridays at Unscripted Durham
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
Live Vinyl Spinning by PhDJ at Beer Study Durham
Early Show: John Howie Jr. / Ramona and The Holy Smokes at The Pinhook
7:30 p.m.
Evening Eno Exploration Paddle at Eno River
Evan Ringel & Ariel Pocock at Sharp 9 Gallery
8 p.m.
Pass the Aux at Boricua Soul
Stereo Reveries at DSSOLVR Durham
Karaoke! at Fullsteam Brewery
Cheekface at Motorco Music Hall
Dance Blues Friday at Studio 5
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
The Floor: Special Guest THEYDYLIKE at Rubies on Five Points
Saturday, May 18
Events at Atomic Empire- 11 a.m. - Pokémon TCG: League Cup
- 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
- 2 p.m. - Game Designers of North Carolina Meetup
- 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Saturdaze: DJ k.ward
- 1-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Death By Taco
- 3-7 p.m. - 3rd Saturday Vintage + Maker Market
- 5-9 p.m. - Home Brewed: CNOTE Art Spectacular
- Every Saturday, 10-10:30 a.m. and 11-11:30 a.m.
- 7:30-8:30 p.m. - House Party
- 8:30-9:30 p.m. - Harold Night
- 9:30-10:30 p.m. - Mint Condition Standup Showcase
- 5-8 p.m. - Menace To Society Album Listening Party
- 7:30-10 p.m. - HUMP! Film Festival
- 10 p.m. - 2 a.m. - Puro Perreo Pari
- 7:30 p.m. - Boogie Burly Nights... A Groovy 70s Show
- 10:30 p.m. - Drake and Friends 2
- 2 p.m. - Downtown Durham Walking Tour
- 4 p.m. - Durham African American History Tour
- 6 p.m. - Downtown Durham True Crime Tour
Lookin For A Cure at Bull City Running Company-South
8 a.m.
Durham Farmers' Market at Durham Central Park
parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park
9 a.m.
South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
10 a.m.
Pop Up Record Show at Beer Durham
Durham's Home Goods Market at Black Wall St Gardens
Bear Awareness Week at Museum of Life and Science
10:30 a.m.
Mother's Day Brunch at The Durham Hotel
11 a.m.
Battle of the Blades 2024 at Historic Durham Athletic Park
12 p.m.
Springtime Outdoor Market at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
1 p.m.
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Say It With Glass Workshop - Sam Nguyen at Moon Dog Meadery
Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park
2 p.m.
Closing Reception — Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery
Durham "Bullpen" Treasure Hunt - Walking Team Scavenger Hunt! at Fullsteam Brewery
3 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Family Fun Saturday: May Flowers at Guglhupf Restaurant
5 p.m.
Rooftops and Alleyways Community Canvas Wall Brawl at Dashi
Durham Blues & Brews Festival at Durham Central Park
Hops & Blues at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
6 p.m.
The Moon Unit and Tarot with Emily at Arcana
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Crones of Anarchy: Blues, Rock, Americana at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
7:30 p.m.
Jim Ketch Swingtet at Sharp 9 Gallery
Big Birthday Dance Party: Combo Platter with 2 Sides at The Blue Note Grill
8:15 p.m.
BBYMUTHA: Sleep Paralysis Tour 2024 at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
Fortune Factory Presents: Taurus Dance Party at Rubies on Five Points
Sunday, May 19
Events at Atomic Empire- 11:30 a.m. - Star Wars: Shatterpoint Tournament
- 12 p.m. - Battletech Campaign Day
- 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
- 2-4 p.m. - Hammered Trivia with Casey
- 4-8 p.m. - The Blood Connection Blood Drive
Jazz Brunch at Lula & Sadie's
10:30 a.m.
Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch at Alley Twenty Six
12 p.m.
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
Sunday Dollar Bin Sale for Charity at Rumors Durham
Supernatural Sunday - Psychic Affair + Healers Market at Weldon Mills Distillery
Farmers Market at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery
12:15 p.m.
Public Tour at Duke Chapel
2 p.m.
Hillandale Golf Beginner Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
3:30 p.m.
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Showings at Scripps: Miguel Gutierrez at ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios
Carmina Burana at Baldwin Auditorium
Día de las Madres Kermes at El Futuro’s Therapeutic Green Space
String Break at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Emma Jane's EP Release Show and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Open Mic Night at Moon Dog Meadery
7 p.m.
DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center
Running Art Exhibit
Hometown (Inherited): Ten Year Retrospective at The Fruit- This project examines the changing landscape of our city through a series of forty mixed media pieces the artist has created since 2014.
- Third Friday openings on Apr 19 and May 17, 6-9 p.m.
- Drop-in by appointment and Wednesdays 4-7 p.m.
- Free admission
- Each piece begins as a photograph, which is then printed on acrylic and worked with a variety of paints and compounds to create a unique surface.
- Sat, May 4 - Sat, May 18
- Free admission
- Sacred Geometry is an ancient field of physics whose equations are expressed through shape. Shape is a way to explore the universal fabric of our existence.
- Sat, May 4 - Sat, June 1
- Free admission
- It Ain’t All Black and White is a photography exhibition that encourages us to consider emotions such as serenity, apprehension, yearning, and more.
- Captured by 11 dynamic photographers dedicated to documenting the fullness and complexity of Black life, this exhibition offers each of us an opportunity to see ourselves with renewed attention.
- Thu, Apr 25 - Sun, June 2
- María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold is a monographic exhibition of a visionary voice in photography, immersive installation, painting and performance.
- Thu, Feb 15 - Sun, Jun 9
- Every week, Tue-Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 12-5 p.m.
- Free admission
- Counterpoints is a curated showcase of local AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) artists, delving into the convergence of AAPI identity and mental health. Inspired by the intricate layers of musical counterpoint, its purpose is to weave together diverse narratives and confront the stigma surrounding mental health within our communities.
- Wed, May 1 - Sun, June 16
- Mon - Fri, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.
- The Divine Nine Legacy Memoir delves deep into the history of the National Panhellenic Council (NPHC) or "Divine Nine," a collective of nine Greek Letter organizations founded on May 10th, 1930.
- These organizations were born out of the necessity to provide a voice for Black American students within the collegiate space. United by principles of service, community, brotherhood, and sisterhood, the Divine Nine work collectively to uplift society through acts of service to underserved areas across the nation.
- Fri, Apr 19 - Sat, June 1
- Free admission
2024.05.13 16:20 linkbuildingexperts Exploring Graphic Design in South Africa: A Comprehensive Guide
In today's digital age, graphic design surrounds you, from the billboards that dot the highways to the sleek interface of your favourite app. It's an art form that combines creativity with strategy, aiming to communicate ideas and messages through visual content. Whether it's a vibrant logo that captures the essence of a brand or an infographic that breaks down complex information, graphic design is at the heart of visual communication.
As a career, graphic design offers a canvas for innovation and expression, blending art and technology to create compelling designs that inform, engage, and persuade. In South Africa, where the creative industries continue to bloom, graphic design plays a pivotal role in the business landscape, driving the creation of digital and print media that resonate with consumers. If you're intrigued by the power of visual storytelling and considering a career in this dynamic field, understanding the fundamentals of graphic design is your first step towards unlocking your creative potential.
Graphic design is more than just aesthetics; it's about solving problems and communicating ideas visually. It combines various elements such as typography, images, colours, and layouts to create engaging designs that capture attention, inform, and sometimes persuade the audience. Whether it's a branding campaign, a website design, or product packaging, every piece of design communicates a story to its viewers.
In South Africa, graphic design has weaved its unique thread through the country's rich tapestry of cultural diversity. Emerging from a background of traditional art forms and evolving through the apartheid and post-apartheid eras, today's South African graphic design scene is a vibrant mix of traditional African elements and modern digital artistry. This blend offers a distinct flavour to South African design, making it recognisable on the global stage.
The evolution of graphic design in South Africa closely aligns with technological advancements and educational progress in the field. Institutions like Oakfields College play a pivotal role in shaping the new generation of graphic designers through comprehensive graphic design courses and short courses in South Africa. These programs not only equip students with the necessary skills in traditional and digital design but also incorporate critical thinking and strategy, preparing them for a successful career in the industry.
Moreover, South Africa has embraced the digital revolution in graphic design, with many designers and agencies placing a strong emphasis on digital mediums. This transition has not only expanded the scope of graphic design in the country but also opened up a plethora of opportunities for designers to innovate and create with global reach.
Whether you're considering a career in this dynamic field or simply have an appreciation for the art form, understanding the history of graphic design, especially within the South African context, enriches your perspective of its impact and potential. For those looking to dive deeper into this industry, seeking out the best graphic design courses in South Africa is a solid first step towards mastering the craft and contributing to its ongoing story.
The role of graphic design in various industries is immense, offering vast opportunities for creative expression and professional growth. Whether you're interested in marketing and advertising, digital design, publishing, or entertainment and media, graphic design courses in South Africa can equip you with the necessary skills to thrive in these exciting fields. Explore the best graphic design courses and embrace the journey toward becoming a prominent designer in the industry.
Engaging with both traditional tools and modern software equips you with a versatile skill set, crucial for navigating the diverse graphic design landscape in South Africa. Whether you're aiming to excel in branding, digital design, or any other specialization within the field, harnessing these tools will be key to your success.
Graphic design is more than just an artistic endeavour; it's a pivotal element of South Africa's creative landscape. With its rich history and evolving nature, the field offers a vibrant pathway for those looking to make their mark. Through institutions like Oakfields College, aspiring designers have access to comprehensive training that covers everything from fundamentals to advanced specialisations. Whether you're drawn to branding, digital design, or another niche, the opportunities in this dynamic industry are vast. Embarking on a graphic design career not only allows you to explore your creative passions but also to contribute significantly to the digital and creative sectors. Remember, your journey in graphic design is not just about mastering tools or techniques; it's about shaping visual narratives that resonate. So, if you're ready to dive into this exciting field, the time to start is now.
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As a career, graphic design offers a canvas for innovation and expression, blending art and technology to create compelling designs that inform, engage, and persuade. In South Africa, where the creative industries continue to bloom, graphic design plays a pivotal role in the business landscape, driving the creation of digital and print media that resonate with consumers. If you're intrigued by the power of visual storytelling and considering a career in this dynamic field, understanding the fundamentals of graphic design is your first step towards unlocking your creative potential.
Key Takeaways
- Understanding Graphic Design: Graphic design is a vital form of communication that merges art with technology to effectively convey messages and ideas. In South Africa, it is not only a burgeoning career path but also key in visual storytelling, crucial for brands and information dissemination.
- Core Elements of Graphic Design: Successful graphic design relies on fundamental elements like typography, colour theory, and layout/composition. Mastery of these components is essential for creating visually engaging designs that communicate effectively.
- Specialisation Areas: Graphic design in South Africa encompasses various specialisation areas including branding, packaging design, and digital design. Each area offers unique opportunities for creativity and innovation.
- Graphic Design Tools and Software: A mix of traditional tools (e.g., pencils, markers) and modern software (such as Adobe Creative Suite and Sketch) is necessary for contemporary graphic design. Familiarity with these tools is crucial for both creativity and efficiency.
- Pursuing a Career in Graphic Design: With the right education and skills, numerous career opportunities open up in advertising, digital design, publishing, and freelancing. South Africa offers a range of courses and programs, like those at Oakfields College, tailored to equip aspiring designers for the industry.
- The Importance of Continuous Learning: Staying updated with the latest design trends and technologies is vital for a successful career in graphic design, highlighting the importance of ongoing education through short courses and professional development.
Understanding Graphic Design
Graphic design stands as a pivotal form of communication, blending art and technology to convey messages and ideas effectively. In South Africa, where the creative industries are burgeoning, graphic design emerges as a compelling career pathway, offering endless opportunities for innovation and expression. This section delves into the essence of graphic design, its fundamental components, and why mastering these concepts is crucial for aspiring designers.Graphic design is more than just aesthetics; it's about solving problems and communicating ideas visually. It combines various elements such as typography, images, colours, and layouts to create engaging designs that capture attention, inform, and sometimes persuade the audience. Whether it's a branding campaign, a website design, or product packaging, every piece of design communicates a story to its viewers.
Core Elements of Graphic Design
Firstly, understanding the basic elements of graphic design is essential. These elements include:- Typography: The art of arranging type, which is a crucial aspect of design. It's not just about choosing fonts; it's about creating readable and appealing text that enhances the message.
- Colour Theory: Colour plays a vital role in graphic design. It can influence mood, convey messages, and even affect purchasing decisions. Understanding colour theory helps in choosing the right palette for your projects.
- Layout and Composition: How elements are arranged on a page determines how effectively the design communicates. Good layout and composition bring balance, guide the viewer’s eye, and ensure the design is aesthetically pleasing.
Specialisation Areas in Graphic Design
The field of graphic design in South Africa is diverse, with several areas of specialisation, including:- Branding and Visual Identity: Creating a visual identity for brands that communicates their values and distinguishes them from competitors.
- Packaging Design: This involves designing attractive and functional packaging that stands out on the shelf while protecting the product.
- Digital Design: This encompasses website design, mobile app design, and social media graphics, among others.
History of Graphic Design
Tracing the origins of graphic design takes you back to the dawn of human expression, but its professional identity and terminology began shaping during the 20th century. The term 'graphic design' itself was coined by William Addison Dwiggins in 1922, marking the official separation of design as a distinct profession which encompasses typography, visual arts, and page layout for the purposes of marketing, advertising, and informing.In South Africa, graphic design has weaved its unique thread through the country's rich tapestry of cultural diversity. Emerging from a background of traditional art forms and evolving through the apartheid and post-apartheid eras, today's South African graphic design scene is a vibrant mix of traditional African elements and modern digital artistry. This blend offers a distinct flavour to South African design, making it recognisable on the global stage.
The evolution of graphic design in South Africa closely aligns with technological advancements and educational progress in the field. Institutions like Oakfields College play a pivotal role in shaping the new generation of graphic designers through comprehensive graphic design courses and short courses in South Africa. These programs not only equip students with the necessary skills in traditional and digital design but also incorporate critical thinking and strategy, preparing them for a successful career in the industry.
Moreover, South Africa has embraced the digital revolution in graphic design, with many designers and agencies placing a strong emphasis on digital mediums. This transition has not only expanded the scope of graphic design in the country but also opened up a plethora of opportunities for designers to innovate and create with global reach.
Whether you're considering a career in this dynamic field or simply have an appreciation for the art form, understanding the history of graphic design, especially within the South African context, enriches your perspective of its impact and potential. For those looking to dive deeper into this industry, seeking out the best graphic design courses in South Africa is a solid first step towards mastering the craft and contributing to its ongoing story.
Key Principles of Graphic Design
Understanding the key principles of graphic design is essential for creating visually compelling and effective designs. These principles serve as the foundational guidelines that ensure your work communicates the intended message to your audience, especially within the South African context where cultural diversity and historical background profoundly influence visual communication.Layout and Structure
The layout and structure form the backbone of graphic design. Utilising layout software, designers position text, images and incorporate features such as columns and advertisements to achieve a balanced and visually attractive product. For instance, in crafting layouts for newspapers, magazines, or books, the arrangement dictates how readers process information, making it crucial to guide the audience through the design in a logical sequence. South African designers must be adept at using tools like InDesign to create layouts that not only look good but also respect the cultural nuances and readability preferences of the local audience.Typeface Design
Creating or selecting the right typeface is key to conveying your design's intended tone and personality. Each font carries its own weight and style, impacting how text is perceived. Original fonts designed for specific digital applications, including websites and adverts, must be readable, scalable, and aesthetically pleasing. South Africa's rich cultural tapestry offers an opportunity for typeface designers to explore unique font styles that reflect local heritage and language diversity, enhancing the global richness of typeface design.Colour Theory
A fundamental component of graphic design, colour theory explains how colours interact with each other and the effects they have on the viewer. The right colour palette can evoke emotions, communicate messages, and influence actions. In South Africa, with its vibrant landscapes and diverse cultures, colour holds significant importance. Utilising colour effectively requires understanding local cultural differences and preferences, ensuring designs resonate with the intended audience while achieving the desired impact.Web Page Design
The digital realm offers vast opportunities for graphic designers to express creativity and innovation. Designing the structure and appearance of websites demands a combination of layout skills, colour theory application, and typeface selection. Graphic designers often create PSD or AI files that are then converted into functional websites. In a South African context, where digital access and consumption patterns vary widely across different demographics, designers have to be strategic in their design decisions, ensuring accessibility and responsiveness across devices.The Role of Graphic Design in Various Industries
Graphic design, with its profound ability to communicate visually, plays a pivotal role across various industries. Its significance in the South African context, driven by cultural diversity and a unique historical backdrop, cannot be overstated. As you explore the vast landscape of graphic design, you'll discover its application in marketing and advertising, digital design, publishing, and entertainment and media. Let's delve into how graphic design shapes these industries and the opportunities it presents for aspiring designers, especially those considering enrolling in graphic design courses or short courses in South Africa.Marketing and Advertising
In the competitive market of South Africa, graphic design serves as the backbone of successful marketing and advertising campaigns. Designers craft compelling visuals that not only grab the attention of the target audience but also convey the brand's message effectively. From creating eye-catching advertisements to designing sophisticated marketing materials, graphic designers ensure that a brand stands out in a crowded marketplace. Engaging visuals in billboards, flyers, brochures, and digital ads are all testaments to the creativity and strategic thinking of graphic designers. With the best graphic design courses in South Africa, you can unlock your potential and help brands tell their stories compellingly.Digital Design
The digital landscape is ever-evolving, and graphic design is at the heart of this transformation. In South Africa, where the digital economy continues to grow, the demand for skilled graphic designers who can navigate web page design, UX/UI, and social media content creation is on the rise. Digital design focuses on crafting user-friendly and aesthetically pleasing online experiences. Whether it's through website design, mobile app interfaces, or engaging social media posts, graphic designers play a critical role in shaping how brands interact with their audiences online. By pursuing short courses in graphic design with a focus on digital applications, you're setting yourself up for a rewarding career in this dynamic field.Publishing
The publishing industry in South Africa, which includes books, magazines, newspapers, and catalogs, relies heavily on graphic design to attract and retain readership. Publication designers work closely with authors and publishers to create layouts, choose typefaces, and select images that enhance the readability and appeal of printed materials. The goal is to create visually attractive publications that communicate content effectively, whether it's for educational, informational, or entertainment purposes. graphic design course that specialise in publication design can provide you with the skills needed to excel in this sector.Entertainment and Media
Graphic design's influence extends into the entertainment and media industry, creating unforgettable visuals for films, television shows, video games, and music productions. Designers collaborate with directors and producers to craft branding, promotional materials, and visual effects that define the aesthetic of a production. In South Africa, where the entertainment industry is vibrant and diverse, graphic designers contribute to the cultural fabric by creating artwork that resonates with both local and international audiences. Short courses in South Africa focusing on graphic design for entertainment and media can launch your career in this exhilarating field.The role of graphic design in various industries is immense, offering vast opportunities for creative expression and professional growth. Whether you're interested in marketing and advertising, digital design, publishing, or entertainment and media, graphic design courses in South Africa can equip you with the necessary skills to thrive in these exciting fields. Explore the best graphic design courses and embrace the journey toward becoming a prominent designer in the industry.
Graphic Design Tools and Software
Embarking on a journey in graphic design, you'll discover that it's not just about creativity but also about the tools and software that bring your ideas to life. Whether you're interested in pursuing one of the best graphic design courses or just starting to dip your toes into this vibrant field, knowing the right tools is essential. In South Africa, where the design landscape is as diverse as its culture, having a toolkit equipped with both traditional and modern instruments is key to making your mark.Traditional Tools
Before the digital age took over, graphic designers relied heavily on traditional tools to conceptualise and create their artwork. These tools weren't just instruments; they were extensions of the designers' hands and minds, allowing them to manifest their visions into tangible forms.- Pencils and sketchpads are indispensable, even today, for quickly jotting down ideas or sketching preliminary designs. These basics enable you to freely express your initial concepts without the constraints of software interfaces.
- Rulers and stencils aid in creating clean, precise lines and shapes, ensuring that your work maintains professional standards of accuracy.
- Markers and paint allow for the exploration of colour and texture, adding a unique touch to logos or illustrations that digital means might not fully replicate.
Modern Software
As technology advanced, the realm of graphic design expanded, introducing a suite of modern software that has become indispensable to today's designer. This software not only enhances efficiency but also opens up infinite possibilities for creativity and collaboration.- Adobe Creative Suite, including Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign, is the cornerstone of professional graphic design. These applications offer powerful tools for image manipulation, vector artwork creation, and layout design, making them a staple in graphic design courses.
- CorelDraw Graphics Suite provides robust vector editing capabilities alongside layout and photo-editing tools, tailored for versatility in various design tasks.
- Sketch has become a go-to for web and mobile interface design, with its intuitive vector tools and simplified interface, making it a popular choice for those specialising in digital design.
Engaging with both traditional tools and modern software equips you with a versatile skill set, crucial for navigating the diverse graphic design landscape in South Africa. Whether you're aiming to excel in branding, digital design, or any other specialization within the field, harnessing these tools will be key to your success.
Pursuing a Career in Graphic Design
Graphic design, a field that artfully combines text, images, and concepts to communicate ideas, offers a myriad of career possibilities. In South Africa, where the digital and creative industries are rapidly expanding, pursuing a career in graphic design can be both fulfilling and lucrative. Let’s delve into how you can embark on this exciting journey.Educational Pathways
Your venture into the world of graphic design begins with the right education. South African institutions, including Oakfields College, offer comprehensive programmes that cater not just to the theoretical aspects of graphic design but also to the practical, hands-on experiences necessary for success in the industry.- Graphic Design Courses: You'll find a range of options, from diplomas to bachelor’s degrees. These courses cover fundamental principles such as typography, layout design, and colour theory, along with modern digital design tools. Oakfields College is renowned for its focused curriculum that prepares you for the real-world challenges of a graphic designer.
- Short Courses in South Africa: If you're looking for a more flexible learning path or wish to specialise in a particular area like web design or digital marketing, short courses can be invaluable. These programmes are perfect for staying abreast of the latest trends and technologies in the graphic design realm.
- Best Graphic Design Courses: When selecting a course, consider institutions that offer a balanced mix of theory and practical application. Courses that include internships or work placement opportunities, like those at Oakfields College, are particularly beneficial as they provide real industry experience and a chance to build a professional network.
Career Opportunities
After equipping yourself with the necessary knowledge and skills, a diverse range of career opportunities awaits. Here's a glimpse of what you can expect:- Advertising and Branding: Companies constantly seek talented graphic designers to create compelling advertising campaigns and develop strong brand identities.
- Digital Design: With the digital age in full swing, careers in web design, user interface (UI) design, and user experience (UX) design are in high demand. Designers with skills in creating visually appealing and user-friendly digital spaces are highly sought after.
- Publishing and Print Media: Despite the rise of digital media, there's still a significant need for designers in the publishing industry. From magazines to books and newspapers, graphic designers play a crucial role in layout and visual storytelling.
- Freelancing: For those who prefer a more flexible work environment, freelancing offers the freedom to choose projects that align with your interests and expertise. Platforms such as Behance and LinkedIn can help you showcase your portfolio and connect with potential clients.
Graphic design is more than just an artistic endeavour; it's a pivotal element of South Africa's creative landscape. With its rich history and evolving nature, the field offers a vibrant pathway for those looking to make their mark. Through institutions like Oakfields College, aspiring designers have access to comprehensive training that covers everything from fundamentals to advanced specialisations. Whether you're drawn to branding, digital design, or another niche, the opportunities in this dynamic industry are vast. Embarking on a graphic design career not only allows you to explore your creative passions but also to contribute significantly to the digital and creative sectors. Remember, your journey in graphic design is not just about mastering tools or techniques; it's about shaping visual narratives that resonate. So, if you're ready to dive into this exciting field, the time to start is now.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the significance of graphic design in South Africa?
Graphic design in South Africa plays a pivotal role in the communication industry, blending visual communication with digital technology to produce effective branding and marketing strategies. Its significance lies in its ability to convey complex information and ideas through creative and visual means.What are the core elements of graphic design?
The core elements of graphic design include layout, typeface design, and colour theory. These elements are crucial in creating visually appealing and effective designs that communicate the desired message to the audience.What specialisation areas exist within graphic design?
In South Africa, graphic design specialisation areas include branding, digital design, advertising, publishing, and freelancing. Each area focuses on different aspects of visual communication and offers unique career opportunities.How has the history of graphic design evolved in South Africa?
The history of graphic design in South Africa has evolved from traditional print media to incorporating digital mediums. It reflects the country's rich culture and history, with institutions like Oakfields College playing a significant role in training the next generation of designers.What role do institutions like Oakfields College play in graphic design education?
Institutions like Oakfields College in South Africa play a crucial role in graphic design education by offering comprehensive courses and short programmes that equip students with the necessary skills and knowledge in graphic design principles, tools, and software.What are the essential tools and software for graphic designers?
The essential tools and software for graphic designers include Adobe Creative Suite (Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign) for creating and editing visuals. Knowledge of these tools is critical for producing high-quality design work.How can one pursue a career in graphic design in South Africa?
Pursuing a career in graphic design in South Africa involves obtaining the necessary education through courses and programmes offered by reputable institutions like Oakfields College. Building a strong portfolio and gaining experience through internships or freelance projects are also important steps.What career opportunities exist in graphic design?
Career opportunities in graphic design in South Africa are abundant and include fields such as advertising, digital design, publishing, and freelancing within the expanding digital and creative industries, offering a dynamic and rewarding career path for aspiring designers.2024.05.13 15:00 Glittering-Might6333 Suggestions on type?
I’m very familiar with MBTI but newer to socionics. Whenever I take Socionics tests I end up with one of two results. I’m curious to see if they are completely off base or if I’m charting the right course in my own self reflection. So here is the usual questionnaire for your typing consideration. Thank you for your time!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
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What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
- I heavily considered skipping this question as I’d honestly rather just have the money to live and have the free time pursue my own ideas and whims. However, I have a Fine Arts degree with Digital Illustration. At one point I considered being an engineer. While I’m good at math & data the construction part of it all seemed so tedious compared to the idea stages. Computer programs always come naturally to me so digital art was no exception and I was able to bring the fantastical ideas I have in my brain to life. Storytelling in particular was always the appeal.
- I currently work a very niche retail. I am always tired after it as I can’t stand long-term socialization, feel under-paid and under-appreciated and hate the unpredictable schedule. It is not a difficult job though, has good benefits, and it revolves around a fantasy, imaginative theme that I have in depth knowledge on. I get to personality type as part of it too. I also do freelance illustration on the side, particularly for ttrpgs. I would rather make all my living from home.
- I’m into typology (if that wasn’t obvious) and have been since I was very young. It really helps me to understand the very confusing behavior of humans & their emotions. Prone to rabbit hole diving on the internet for hours and hours, especially when it comes to a current hyper-fixation. I love to learn and know everything about what I’m into. I dream of being one of those people with the old 90s style webpages that have an in depth history of a product dating back from its invention to current day. My procrastinating habit will probably never let me do it though.
- Very much enjoy reading. Favorite genres are Fantasy, Psychology & Mythology. I also love deep dive analysis/true crime/psychology videos on youtube. I have a passion for theme parks and their history. I also love music and can play a few instruments and sing. I’m a big fan of D&D and am part of 4 campaigns currently. The character invention is my favorite part of the process.
- I don’t think much about values. It doesn’t play much into my day to day but I guess - Independence. Creativity. Autonomy. Balance. Nonviolence. Curiosity. Open-mindedness? It’s easier to come up with values I don’t hold in high regard than ones I do.
- Very hands off approach with family. I moved 1000+ miles away from them not because of negative interactions but rather just priority to myself.
Dad: I enjoy his company a lot. We are both very logical and practical and are fine with low communication. He’s always supported my interests, passions, and creativity no matter how weird he found them to be.I will talk about my friends in the next question.
Mom: I love her but in childhood she often worried about me being socially behind and would berate me with concerns over finding more friends or a romantic partner. What she preferred to talk about felt very frivolous to me (clothing, family drama ect). Often told me I was too critical to her (“made her feel stupid”) which was never my intention. I’ve known her to be overly emotional and clingy at times but she got me into music and raised me with kindness which I appreciated.
Sister: Has always been the source of frustration for me as she is very reactive, confrontational and requires a lot of attention and affection which I do not give. Very opposite to me.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
- I have 3 friends plus a partner. 3 seems to be the consistent number in my life as any more and I cannot upkeep the relationships. When I am first making friends it is usually due to sharing the same passion/interests. I need people around me who are privy to the same activities I am - art, computers, ttrpgs, niche media, psychology, ect - so I have topics of discussion that are full of depth and fascination and do not have to struggle through the “how’s your day” sort of thing. It’s important that my friend are accepting of the strange and unusual (we all ended up being queeneurodivergent) not prone to drama or emotional outbursts and not very into outdoorsy/social activities. I don’t do sports (watching or otherwise), clubs, drinking, or parties (I do enjoy intimate social get togethers that I have a purpose/theme, however).
- In romance I believe I’ve found the perfect person for me already. My partner is very complimentary. We were friends first and though our personalities were very different we had similar interests. They were sure to not scare me off by taking things very slow. (Ex: I dislike most all physical touch and they were super respectful in always asking for permission to hug me at first) They are much more direct and confrontational than I am and infinitely better with emotions and understanding social dynamics. They’ll do the talking when I don’t want to and push the physical tasks whenever I am struggling to motivate. They remember the little things about me like my preferences in aesthetic, interest and food and if it is a hair wash day or not and are very observant to notice if I have neglected things towards myself like forgetting to eat or drink in a day. Being on equal footing is very important to me. We work together, as a team, always.
- Most recent would be with my sister. Her wedding is this year and I wanted to gift her my artwork for her invitations. We set a deadline and a plan. She texts me, a week and a half before we agreed on and says she’s disappointed it wasn’t done yet - that she believes I don’t care about her or her wedding and never make any effort so maybe I should just forget it. She saw the explanation I gave her when she asked for when it would be done as an excuse. I felt completely confused and blindsided. I sent a screen-cap of the exact timeframe we agreed upon. No, I’m not messaging you about your wedding constantly (it’s your event not mine) I’m doing what was asked of me and making effort the best I can. I made a neutral reply to which she apologized later. Otherwise I can’t think of the last actual conflict I was a part of.
- I’m told often that I am super knowledgable and a great resource. My friends tell me I should write a book due to my ability to understand things quickly and relay them in a digestible but detailed manner. I’m great at editing things (film/graphics/writing). I can come up with many innovative solutions and ideas that others are impressed by. I get complimented on my unique perspective and hard work. I’ve been told I’m approachable and never cause problems. I value my intelligence, logic, open-mindedness and creativity.
- I struggle motivating myself to start any task that isn’t related to my chosen fixation. I procrastinate even on things I love. I’m not goal oriented and would rather just imagine or research things all day than put anything into action. I’m embarrassingly bad at replying to texts and cannot make phone calls or order at a restaurant without repetitive rehearsal in my head.
- I have been criticized for being apathetic, procrastinating, weird, too private and stubborn. My partner has been upset at me trying to find solutions and seeing all sides when they just wants to express their feelings.
- I don’t need help with critical thinking, routine, introspection, idea generation, artistry, spirituality, learning, diet, or relationships (I’m good with the ones I have as they are thanks).
- I need more help with doing lol. Not letting my idea just stay in my head. Striving for goals and standing up for myself. Not overthinking things. I am also bad at purposeful fitness or making health appointments because it’s very out of sight out of mind. I’ve always been quite healthy naturally but when I’m not I don’t do much to fix it. I just hope it goes away.
- I dislike socializing 9/10 or participating in any form of career competition (marketing and networking are awful). Phone calls are anxiety inducing. I hate to be the center of attention unless I’m accurately prepared for it. Surprises in social settings are horrible (please don’t have the restaurant sing to me on my birthday). I don’t get any joy from clubbing, drinking, recreational drugs, gym activities, watching sports or going to the beach.
- It’s hard to gauge. I’d say I like researching & brainstorming more than others. I enjoy hypothesizing the meaning and significance of things more than most (like film analysis). Making categorizations and sorting is fun both in my brain and in physicality. I love cooking, taking quizzes, creating playlists and almost never get lonely when I am alone.
- Just to be happy. I am content with most of my life at the moment. I would like to get a better job, to own a house and to get married to my partner but it is not a pressing priority at the moment.
- I have a good eye for decorating. Though, I find I usually only have the motivation when starting in a completely new space. Updating a place after having it for a while happens rarely, slowly, and in only small ways. I lean more minimalist (I hate spending money unless it’s really worth it) but I love creating color palettes, themes and making sure things match. I prefer to be comfortable and for my surroundings to be calming but also reflective of my passions. Making sure things stay tidy is a whole different story, however, as I will leave clothes on the floor and forget to put things away often. It’s gotten better with age and some strategies (like bins to toss things in instead of folding).
- Bold of you to assume winning the lottery would mean I didn’t have to work anymore in this economy (I kid. I kid). No longer having to work would be a dream come true. I’d of course invest & save first to protect myself against any monetary troubles that could arise in the future. After that I would travel. Explore all the places I could possibly want, indulge in specialty items, food and experiences- museums and libraries from all over the world especially. Once I’m done with that, or perhaps even during, I would work on my creative ideas that I’ve felt I never have time for. Writing a book, drawing animatics for my characters, update my portfolio, inventions ect ect.
- Quirkiness, nonconformity & authenticity in lifestyle is very admirable to me. I encourage when children ask probing questions because too often they are put down for curiosity instead of given answers. I love when people infodump about their interests because even if I may have zoned out I’d want them to listen to me too.
- I am annoyed by the emphasis on pleasantries (“How are the kids?, Did you see that new movie?) and how it can impact others opinions of you if you don’t partake in them. Unprovoked advice/demands are always irritating. People comparing themselves, competing or “rating” others or talking a lot about their bodies, is confusing to me and awkward.
- Depends on the setting really. Default is distant. I never introduce myself or approach first unless it is a requirement. If I am working I am expected to be approachable and friendly but I’m usually mentally checked out and just performing the tasks in those instances. Whatever gets them to leave me alone so I can go back to my thoughts is preferable. I’m never rude, however, and can mask really well. If they are talking about something interesting there’s a chance I might engage on my own or to share my insight. I have a tendency to observe and listen in on others conversations.
- I avoid conflict as much as I can. I’m really good at going around situations and premeditating what might cause discontentment before it happens. Most all of my friends have claimed to have never seen me angry but would be horrified if I ever was. I find myself to be the bigger person in most cases. I can put on an unfazed expression because it doesn’t really matter. Inside I might feel anxious and raging so I will likely flee as soon as I am able. I’ll process my feelings on the situation later when I’m alone. I’ve never faced physical violence so I can’t really say what I would do there. Observing conflict between others makes me embarrassed and I usually leave the space if I can. I can easily see all sides to a situation but hate the outward explosion of emotions. I will try and be a good mediator if the situation is calm enough for it.
- I have an etsy for freelance/convention art/commissions/merch so I suppose that counts. I’m not very good at the marketing and networking angle required, just the conceptualizing part. Though I like the idea of the freedom of working for myself at my own pace, I worry I might not be able to keep myself motivated and would rather be a background support to an already existing company. I already struggle with completing the tasks on time. Maybe one day I’ll find something niche enough that could make me money out of my interests.
- I dress comfortably but to my personal aesthetic taste. Modest overall. I still have some clothing I’ve had since being a teen for practicality sake. Nothing fancy or specific. I have a particular color palette (earth tones) I chose to only buy so that way it stops me from analysis paralysis in selecting new clothes. I wear minimal makeup just to cover blemishes (to the point my roommate did not realize I was wearing it for years). I have never died my hair and cut it twice a year or so myself as keeping it natural and long is the least amount of maintenance possible. I don’t think about my appearance much unless I’m going to a themed event where I make an effort.
- Not much. I’m staunchly childfree and have never found a baby I deemed “cute”. They’re loud, gross and unpredictable and I could never deal with them 24/7. I’m not bad at interacting with them, however, they seem to like me quite a bit. I admire their curiosity and when they are polite. Working with kids is much easier than being around them in my free time.
- I felt quite fulfilled when I completed my first book (Illustrated/written/designed by me) or whenever I get selected as a representative expert on something in order to problem solve or relay information. I don’t care about the attention so much as the validation that my internal view of my skills now has a quantifiable external result.
2024.05.13 14:50 Space_cadet_22 Dead end for a comper career?
I don't want to add negativity to this Reddit, but I need some external opinions to understand what to do at this stage of my career.
I started my journey graduating as a graphic designer, after being rejected in automotive design. The idea was always to be around computers, as I've enjoyed using the earliest versions of Photoshop since I was a kid. I've always been passionate about science fiction, space, astronomy, cars, and massive machinery, as well as concept art. (I admire the work of artists like Paul Chaidesson, Dofresh, and Wootha).
Life led me in different directions, ending up printing books, creating corporate branding, and later, working on TV openings. I've changed roles so many times in my country that I feel completely out of touch, not knowing what I really liked, until a fairly traumatic event led me to the decision to move here to the UK to study digital compositing.
Brexit, COVID, recession, VFX strikes, none of these stopped me from kickstarting my VFX career, working on NUKE for at least three years, enough to consider myself a junior compositor. The problem now is that, due to the recent crisis in the film industry, I find myself having to reinvent myself again. Considering that my motion design material and graphic skills are now outdated and replaced by very different roles, I decided to study Houdini. But I feel like I'm running on empty. I have no ideas. It feels like I've spent so much time learning techniques and information that I'm no longer able to create.
I'm not drawing, not coming up with spontaneous stories to turn into storyboards. Everything seems to have already been done. I see designs that I had thought of too, developed by artists and directors with much more talent and resources than mine.
Moreover, I'm in a position where I need to find a job as soon as possible, considering that my reels are outdated and need new material. I don't have access to some key shots I've worked on as it seems that my previous employer is clearly ghosting me. I'm trying to switch industries or find a part-time job as a stopgap, but at 33yo with a resume of 10 years solely in graphics, documentaries, and films, I'm not being considered.
I have two months of rent after paying my accountant.
At a some point this summer I'll only have enough money to return to my home country (Europe).
Any advice?
How would you jump back?
submitted by Space_cadet_22 to vfx [link] [comments]
I started my journey graduating as a graphic designer, after being rejected in automotive design. The idea was always to be around computers, as I've enjoyed using the earliest versions of Photoshop since I was a kid. I've always been passionate about science fiction, space, astronomy, cars, and massive machinery, as well as concept art. (I admire the work of artists like Paul Chaidesson, Dofresh, and Wootha).
Life led me in different directions, ending up printing books, creating corporate branding, and later, working on TV openings. I've changed roles so many times in my country that I feel completely out of touch, not knowing what I really liked, until a fairly traumatic event led me to the decision to move here to the UK to study digital compositing.
Brexit, COVID, recession, VFX strikes, none of these stopped me from kickstarting my VFX career, working on NUKE for at least three years, enough to consider myself a junior compositor. The problem now is that, due to the recent crisis in the film industry, I find myself having to reinvent myself again. Considering that my motion design material and graphic skills are now outdated and replaced by very different roles, I decided to study Houdini. But I feel like I'm running on empty. I have no ideas. It feels like I've spent so much time learning techniques and information that I'm no longer able to create.
I'm not drawing, not coming up with spontaneous stories to turn into storyboards. Everything seems to have already been done. I see designs that I had thought of too, developed by artists and directors with much more talent and resources than mine.
Moreover, I'm in a position where I need to find a job as soon as possible, considering that my reels are outdated and need new material. I don't have access to some key shots I've worked on as it seems that my previous employer is clearly ghosting me. I'm trying to switch industries or find a part-time job as a stopgap, but at 33yo with a resume of 10 years solely in graphics, documentaries, and films, I'm not being considered.
I have two months of rent after paying my accountant.
At a some point this summer I'll only have enough money to return to my home country (Europe).
Any advice?
How would you jump back?
2024.05.13 14:15 Ufonauter In 1986 an Italian professor working for the University of Pavia in Italy would have a face to face encounter with an unknown entity. But unlike so many other encounters, this professor was able to take 5 photos.
 | To begin with, I will state that this post was months in the making (mostly waiting and chasing false leads) and carries with it perhaps some answers, plenty of questions, and perhaps for some, a similarity to their own experiences. Special thanks to u/Neo-Rex as well as u/ebycon for their assistance in helping me find and rule out some areas of research. submitted by Ufonauter to HighStrangeness [link] [comments] Disclaimer: The following images and text are provided without photo manipulation on my end (besides simple cropping and scanning). There are going to be many references in this post to Italian media, magazines, as well as individual writers. This is by no means an endorsement, advertisement, or other form of ARG intended to sell, market, or persuade anyone to buy, rent, or procure any of the described materials. Because I know this is a new area of topic, and because the images provided are of an unusual nature, I will provide various sources to prove that these images are not enhanced, manipulated by hand or by a contemporary photo manipulation program or AI generation. Before we get into the nitty gritty of the images I will provide background as to how I came upon these images, and the flow of information. I was first made aware of these images after researching separate alien encounters for a post of mine (see that post here for further details regarding that) one of the sources used was "alieni in italia 1945-1995 50 anni di incontri ravvicinati". On page VIII towards the back of the book these images (or rather image as three were compressed into one section) as well as the following text appears https://preview.redd.it/zz1ti49qm60d1.jpg?width=806&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e53f7b8ec62fb68abc04a29caa117d2f21c13325 "Vero alieno o scoop giornalistico? Ho evitato di inserire nel presente catalogo questo caso avvero singolare. Si tratte infatti di alcune foto )5_ scattate da un non meglio indentificato "professore universitario di pavia" nell'estate del 1986 e pubblicate da sette. il settimanale del Corriere della Sera. Si referiscono ad una presunta entita aliena che si sarebbe manifestata al professore in una situazione del tutto casuale. Non sono mancati pareri sfavorevoli expressi da parecchi ufologi. ( Foto tratte da: Sette n. 9/10 sette giorni illustrati dal Corriere della Sera, 5 marzo, 1988. Translated: "Real alien or journalistic scoop? I have avoided including in the present catalog this singular case. These are in fact some photos(5) taken by an unidentified "university professor from Pavia" in the summer of 1986 and published by seven. The weekly newspaper Corriere della Sera. They refer to an alleged alien entity that allegedly manifested itself to the professor in a completely random situation. There was no shortage of unfavorable opinions expressed by several ufologists. ( Photo taken from: Seven No. 9/10 seven days illustrated by Corriere della Sera, March 5, 1988. That was all the information provided within. (it should be noted that although this description mentions 5 photos, there are only these 3 provided within Moreno Tambellinis book.) These images captured my attention fairly quickly as I am fairly familiar with purported alien/supernatural photographs, so to find one I have never seen, and in such a quality which is general not present within other such photos as these, was more than enough to tip my curiosity in the direction of delving deeper. First attempt at finding further information regarding these photos, and this particular magazine issue ended in little success, though I was able to find what I, at the time, believed to be a correctly colorized image of this entity. See below. https://preview.redd.it/xpyz6eeum60d1.png?width=341&format=png&auto=webp&s=292a9a3afe55c7e83d0f6d5ccce43aa5f35d9fec Unassuming on some random blog that attributed a name to this entity while providing no further information regarding the image itself (as certain ufological circles are want to do). Not finding further information I attempted to find further information based off of this colorized image, but to no avail. Save for one source that used this image ( in a different colorized manner, slightly less yellow and oozing with potential, that being this image by Argentinian Ufologist Dante Franch. See below. https://preview.redd.it/tl0dx4lym60d1.png?width=280&format=png&auto=webp&s=ca523a7f18df130f09c9174e925d044a89852690 Finally, someone who might have a lead on this information! But no, once again this image is deceptively alluring as the contents of this book have absolutely nothing to do with the Sette report, but simply use its image to describe unsourced and unverified tales of the City of Erks (a wild dive on its own and may be deserving of its own post) and other entities that supposedly have a resemblance to this cover image. Upon further searches I came across this archived link with additional images some with closer to truth color, including the aforementioned first colorized image here https://web.archive.org/web/20080312200229/https://www.anomalia.org/perspectivas/fotosets/campo_cielo.htm as well as the additional references. The author of this blog post is Mexican Ufologist Luis Ruiz Noguez, notable for his skepticism and thorough investigation relating to this material, so it was a no-brainier to look into his research regarding this seeing as he had previously mentioned it here on his blogpost. So where better to look than his book "Extraterrestres ante las camaras" Volume X dealing specifically with italian encounters and purported alien photographs. But again, despite his previous notation in this blog, the contents of these images specifically are nowhere to be seen or mentioned within this book. Research stagnated for some time during the search process for the original source cited in Moreno Tambellinis book. I was able after five months (you have no idea how hard it was to find a copy) able to acquire a copy of this magazine and finally was able to determine that the previously assumed white coverall of this entities outfit has been a false notion. The following text is a translation of the pages within this issue of march 7th 1988 Sette: Corriere della Cera . 9/10, the original scans, as well as a translated text document of these pages can be found in the sources listed below. Important note: although these images are primary focus of this article, it does meander into thoughts on Whitley Striebers book "Communion" (which will be a source of contention that will be covered later in this post). But the translated post here is the relevant text to these images. "Just as we were editing a report on the UFO phenomenon that was supposed to appear on 7 at the same time as the television passage of Spielberg's film Close Encounters of the third kind, we came across a resounding surprise: the images published in these pages and on the cover of this issue. They were taken completely by chance, one summer evening in 1986, by a professor at the University of Pavia, above all suspicion and known for his balance, his intelligence and rationality, completely alien to the somewhat emphatic and vaguely bizarre world of the so-called "contactees": those people who say they have entered into a relationship with unknown entities from the cosmos." "He is a completely normal person who has always been skeptical of the reports of unidentified flying objects and is now also a testimony, erroneous to the idea that his name is related to the disturbing figure captured by his camera. The university lecturer has agreed to give us what he considers to be evidence of his shocking experience in exchange for absolute confidentiality" "What to make of these images? We can make a few assumptions. A) The author of the photos is a mystrifier. It is unlikely: too much resistance has opposed the publication of his document (which he has yielded for free to 7). In addition, he wishes to remain anonymous. A behavior that is certainly not that of those who want to speculate on a scooop, true or presumed. B) The author is the victim of a game. Someone made him take "fireflies for lanterns". A well-thought-out game, by true professionals. It is not unlikely, even if the professor is not a "contactee", one obsessed with extraterrestrials, that is, a man who could arouse "temptations" among those who know him. C) The photos really document something alien. A mysterious otherness has been captured by the professor's camera, who was the first to be surprised by this tangible presence, imprinted on the film that is absolutely different from a hallucination. What to say? What are we to think of images that forcefully re-propose the problem (or the dream, or the myth, or the nightmare) of the existence of other beings, of other civilizations that populate galaxies or dimensions unknown to us? Science continues to question these facts, but an answer is still a long way off. All experiences at the "edge of reality" are embarrassing. The line that divides science and mystery is still vague. Prudence, in these cases, is a must. And the desire not to appear is widespread among the witnesses. The professor from Pavia, who chose restriction, has an illustrious precedent." "These images, taken on a summer evening in 1986 by a professor at the University of Pavia, who asked to remain anonymous, are the subject of various hypotheses of interpretation in the text of the article. The reader is free to draw his own conclusions." Here are the direct scans of this entity as they appear in the magazine, scanned directly out of a physical copy of this magazine. (do note although these images are uploaded in different order I believe they may be sorted as such, I make no claim to the accuracy of this in terms of chronological order, but which is most aesthetically appeasing.) https://preview.redd.it/mk91ugp3n60d1.png?width=520&format=png&auto=webp&s=8218b2c6c3b0a508ef086c37c2d0e07552f73910 https://preview.redd.it/7cehtg65n60d1.png?width=385&format=png&auto=webp&s=805fe3d0c8be92d888412d1eeccef6bc88a4708a https://preview.redd.it/izuhsjl6n60d1.png?width=388&format=png&auto=webp&s=215f53fa963abdeecb06ad8074583f7260b2df69 https://preview.redd.it/no9xn3f7n60d1.png?width=380&format=png&auto=webp&s=4ed13e6bf07df8a251f6368aab92383ad1bb26ca https://preview.redd.it/hnf9x148n60d1.png?width=379&format=png&auto=webp&s=80de62f126a5f7770a12790d167e0aebea8ef378 Now, while the article was very keen to post certain aspects of this, it was rather lacking, and it must be stated although the title of this issue, as well as the description in the article infer this is related to UFO's. There is no mention of an actual UFO or craft present within this encounter, or at the very least, this information was omitted from the article, and was potentially removed at the request of the professor in question, though that is speculation on my part. The following sections will deal with the author of this previous issue, as well as the two follow-up articles and their individual authors. There is more information present as the above text states, not from the previous issue, but from two separate follow-up articles that were saved and printed in the Italian Ufo magazine "UFO express no. 043." Link to the full untranslated issue here/UFO%20Express%20-%20No%20043.pdf). These separate addendums fully cover the images in question and are critical but not overly-so. The most important aspect to this is that the professor provided further information to Sette, primarily about what they were doing prior to this entities appearance, but also their means of photographic capture. {Page 1} UFO: Is this being from another world? read the scroll on the cover of 7 (No. 9/10) that we republish on this page. Hundreds of phone calls and letters arrived at the editorial office, and they continue to arrive after Mino Damato in his TV program Alla ricerca dell'arca (Sunday, March 27, Rai 3 8:30 p.m.) dealt with the same images, depicting a hypothetical alien photographed by a professor at the University of Pavia one summer evening in 1986. There are those who believe in this hypothetical alien and those who do not, but all of the readers who have phoned or written are bound to each other by the rejection of that question mark printed on the cover: each of them is persuaded to erase the hypothesis, to tear away the veil of the enigma. And they split into two equally intolerant parties, leaving no room for doubt. We have chosen two exemplary letters. The first letter comes from Brixen and is signed by Mr. Nicola De Paola (2 Clesia Street). He says “the alien is a tobogganist: typical are the tight suit the aerodynamic helmet, the face crushed by the transparent visor, the blurred colors and contours of the photos are due to the fact that they were taken from television, with the obj vo blurred or too close up and strange an alien with limbs, head, face and body identical to those of man; I too will be able to take photographs quite similar to those published; as a reader I feel mocked.” Others have certainly seen in the hypothetical alien: a surgeon, a nurse, an ice skater, an Icelandic firefighter, a Norwegian cryologist (sic), a KGB spy, a hockey player with his head bandaged; in short, some man in overalls or uniforms. No one has identified in the figures, despite the width of the pelvis, a woman or an androgynous. The second letter comes from Ferrara and is signed by Mr. Giovanni Mantovani (via Luigi Borsari 51). Says; When I saw the photographs I immediately thought: but look, it looks like the E.T. seen by R.M on September 2, 1987 while he was fishing on the bank of the Canal Bianco (RO). He felt an intense tingling, turned around and saw a strange individual: dark complexion, 2 meters tall, hair that looked like plastic, wearing a luminescent blue jumpsuit. The apparition lasted a few seconds.R.M. felt a chill, a feeling that was renewed at the sight of your photos... Only one remark can be made to the professor of Pavia: that of not having given the readers further clarifications about the close approach of the third type... Here are the further clarifications that the professor from Pavia has allowed us to give, although he is consumed by the fear of being uncovered and covered with ridicule. The photos were taken by a Nikon camera, with motor-drive, 55 mm lens. Micro, 3.5 aperture, shutter speed: 1/4 second Polachrome film, 40 Asa sensitivity. Shortly after the sun went down, the professor was completing some experiments on the optical perception of dogs (how does a dog see things in the world? Black and white? With what depth, in what perspective?). That alone is almost ridiculous. We were missing the hypothetical alien. A dog joke? Maybe. But the professor never solved the riddle. And dogs don't talk. ~ Paolo Pietroni {page caption} The hypothetical alien out of 7 has caused conflicting reactions. The photo was taken from a Nikon by a university lecturer while carrying out experiments on the visual perception of dogs https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paolo_Pietroni (information about this addendums author) {Page 2} Your E.T. seems to me to be a feminine being... Dear editor, I am writing to you in relation to the series of 5 photographs taken by a better identified professor of Pavia one summer evening in 1986 and which appeared in the supplement of the Corriere della Sera n. 9/10 Since I am not familiar with photographic technique, I have written down the shooting parameters communicated by you personally during Mino D'Amato's television program In Search of the Ark on March 27. Correct me if I'm wrong: Nikon camera body with motor, 5.5 mm focal length lens, aperture dia 3.5, exposure time 1/15 of a second. Certainly, with this adjustment, every little movement of the camera or of the photographed subject causes a blurred or rather blurred photograph. Probably, this whole story of the photos arose from the need of the Rizzoli Group to launch on the market the Italian version of the best American seller Communion by Ted Jacob, which deals, coincidentally, with the subject of extraterrestrials. This colossal business is also sponsored by the production of the film, which has been "posted" while waiting for the possible buyers of such a profitable product to be sufficiently sensitized... Having said this, I wish, through his kindness, to convey to the professor of Pavia my modest comments on his photos. Feminism aside, I confess that the first spontaneous observation I made on these photographs was to recognize without a shadow of a doubt a woman, or rather a female being; The conformation of the hips, the breasts, combined with the grace of the bowed pose with folded arms, unequivocally belonged to a woman. But let's get to the details. The suit - It appears so tight that it shows every little part of the body so as to give the impression of a "second skin"; It has light blue-green bands (as shown in the photo on the right on page 74) that are more evident around the neck, on the shoulders and on the arms. The hands - They appear covered by the sleeves and more elongated than ours (cover figure), dare I say w(bed. The head - Although it is more mobile, it clearly shows these elements: oval face with a slightly flattened nose, microphone with a light-colored support arm placed at the height of the left ear (photo on the right, page 74) The headset - It is completely different from any type currently built because it contains a transceiver module at the top for contact with some support organ (e.g. an operations center, or a cosmoplane, or another operator), similar to what happens in Italy when astronauts go out of their vehicle and maintain constant radio contact with the control center. The transceiver part can be seen both in the cover photo and on page 74, left and right, and is indicated by the protuberance on the top of the skull. This study was born well out of any venal or other interest, in fact I am not a ufologist, but a pilot in full flight activity and with command responsibilities; I have been a first-hand witness to the phenomenon commonly associated with the improper name of UFO Sure of the need to deal with the subject with more compatible methodologies than those promulgated by scientists and ufologists, I dedicate myself to the enhancement of aeronautical contactism, intending with this new term to redefine the sightings of military and civil pilots, aeronautical technicians, engineers, etc. who through direct experience with the phenomenon have acquired the conviction that we are not alone Only those who have had a direct impact with the phenomenon (the contactee) can provide a plausible image of themselves... everything else... They are only lucubrations born from mindsets that are not up-to-date with the present sotric moment on the one hand, and with the characteristics of the phenomenon on the other. {end of article caption} I forwarded his observations to the professor in Pavia, author of the photos depicting the hypothetical alien. Thank you for your interesting analysis. You are free to believe it or not, but the Rizzoli Communion book had an absolutely random presence in our service: we liked the design of the cover; the portrait of that E.T. and we thought of enriching the illustrations of the service. Roberto Doz (a fairly interesting individual on his own, air force colonel with his own UFO sighting) read more on that here As for the author of the original article. Their name is Nullo Cantaroni, and may be more well known by his wife Bice Cairati( Sveva Casati Modigiani), Nullo Cantaroni had a fairly successful journalistic career, dealing primarily in medicine as co-authorized by fellow science journalist Severina Cantaroni. He eventually succumbed to Parkinson's disease. I make mention of these authors, Roberto Doz (who has a very good reason to be interested in the topic as he had his own experience). As well as the other two as these are not the ramblings of some crazy pumping out their own versions of weekly world news, but were and still are highly credible and respected peoples, whom by their own association are taking the flak for posting this material to begin with. From here on out, this is going to be a further dive into the already presented material, some comparisons with other cases which have direct correlation with these images, as well as other information during my research that has not been touched on up until this point. In the first follow-up article there is mention of a show "Alla Ricera dell'arca (In search of the ARK)". With he show discussing the images posted here. I was able to confirm that this episode does exist, with the covered material, and is within the RAI archives (Italian TV network/station). However, they would not lend the episode out to a non-Italian citizen, or someone associated with a University, or media conglomeration. I mention this as there may be more material covered in this episode that was not provided in the main article and its follow-ups. If there are any Italian citizens, or peoples reading this who have the appropriate accreditation to acquire a copy of this episode I would ask for your cooperation in attempting to do so. If someone has a copy of this simply recorded off of an old VHS I implore you to make that available to all. Going back to the main article, the meandering to Communion is certainly off-putting, though I disagree with the previous mention that this was a hoax on the part of the publication to push Communion. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence after all (even though Carl Sagan never bothered with the evidence, side tangent: listen to J Allen Hynek talk about that here) But I believe these images were published in good faith on part of Nullo Cantaroni, his background and thorough career would make this unlikely. So as it figures there are three scenarios here that describe this scenario (in no particular order of likelihood) 1) these images are hoaxed by the publication to push communion 2) these images are hoaxed by the supposed professor 3) these images are legitimate and provide evidence of a non-earth based entity. Before I move on I'd like to mention that I did attempt to reach out to Corriere della Sera multiple times regarding this material but was never given a response. To round this off the images themselves. Humanoid obviously, female-appearing, now I say appearing because assuming this really is some unexpected entity, there is no guarantee that the physiology of this figure accurately represents its determination, and although this entity appears to have what we'd consider to be skin, that may only be a covering to another form or may be some type of robotic synthetic life-form designed specifically to mimic human appearances. What may be most interesting or most alarming depending on your perspective is this entities face appears to change between shots, and yet seemingly keeps the same body proportions. If you are of the opinion this is some type of hoax you could state this is an obvious inconsistency between shots. On the other hand, that is an obvious conclusion to make and showing differentiating faces would be a rather odd choice on the part of a hoaxer. This again could be part of the photographing process, as there is motion blur between some of these photos and it simply gives an appearance that things are changing. There are other features which must be touched upon, namely the clothing, but in one such photo, what appears to be some type of headgear wrapped around this entities face. To anyone with a passing knowledge of ufology and its associated lore would know, the favorite of any interstellar interloper is the tight formfitting bodysuit. Primarily described as blue, although other colors are often reported. But unlike most humanoid encounters described in the west, this entity seems to have a darker complexion about them. Now does that mean this does not fit in with established prior encounters? Not at all, for whatever reason the blonde-hair nordic is the most popular discussion topic when it comes to human-adjacent lifeforms, but in other places, and Italy especially, some of their most well know or most covered, feature entities with darker complexions. Case in point https://preview.redd.it/o7w5pu2in60d1.jpg?width=884&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d203853c4be4a37108aeea4a7122826bd21525bb This encounter in 1978 Italy with a dark-skinned entity in a shimmering scaled suit. Or this description of a dark skinned entity with a similar described blue suit reported in 1987 Location. Villamarzana, Rome, Italy Date: September 2 1987 Time: 1700 Renzo Munari was fishing on the Bianco Canal when he noticed a strange object flying at a moderated speed over the river, as the object disappeared from sight he felt a strange prickling sensation in his body, resembling electrical static. Turning around he saw a very tall human-like figure staring intently at him. The figure was at least 2 meters in height, with orange hair and dark skin. He wore a luminous blue colored tight fitting coverall. On the left side of his chest there was a square orange colored “tag.” During the encounter the witness felt a cool wave of air and light headed. The figure apparently disappeared into the brush. Source: Archivio SUF, USOCAT by The Italian Center forUFO Studies (CISU) There is also this report from 1989 Russia Location. Salsk, Rostov region, Russia Date: August 13 1989 Time: 2300 Working at a cotton irrigation plant Vasiliy Ivanovich suddenly experienced total equipment failure without any apparent cause. While searching for the cause of the breakdown, the witness heard a loud voice, “He is searching for the cause”. Looking around he saw four humanoids standing close to him. One stood in the front, while the other three stood in the back. He described the humanoids as tall, with long dangling arms, with a large head, flattened on the top and wide at the temples. The humanoids are dark red or brown in color with large egg-shaped eyes and two holes instead of a nose. They have no lips, and thin strip instead of a mouth. They were wearing truncated shiny blue coveralls and footwear. The humanoid standing at the front of the others held a box in his hand and a soft pleasant voice seemed to emanate from the box. He held the box at stomach level. Ivanovich approached the humanoids and asked who they were; the reply was a question asking him if he wanted to go with them. At this point the witness saw a light at the edge of the nearby woods and a hovering object. The humanoids then floated slowly towards the craft and disappeared. Terrified the witness ran to the village to notify other witnesses but upon returning to the site the humanoids had already left. Source:UFOZONE Russia As for the headgear, there is a report from 1995 Italy of an entity not resembling this one in this post, but wearing a similarly described headpiece. Location: Ancona, Italy Date: February 3 1994, Time: 9:00am Six witnesses, including a Mr. Giulo observed a strange humanoid wandering around some nearby rocks. The humanoid was described as about 1 meter and a half in height, wearing a tight fitting black coverall that covered his whole body including a pair of very long feet. The face was elongated with two huge round eyes, with round black pupils. It appeared to be wearing earphones with a small thin protruding antenna. It seemed to stagger slowly and after about 10 minutes it rose up slowly and vertically into the air, quickly disappearing from sight Source: CISU Italy. There is also this case from Barisciano Italy 1978 in which an entity bearing a striking similar blue color to the outfit was seen, with an adorning white "cap" or hairpiece that resembled that of a cap. read the untranslated version of that encounter here/Notiziario%20UFO%20-%201984%2001-02%20-%20Vol%2018%20No%20102.pdf) https://preview.redd.it/3ei6o741q60d1.png?width=310&format=png&auto=webp&s=2de94be231313b38b979bbd4b46b3800466e8f26 Finally, lets get back to the person allegedly behind this whole spiel, the Professor. A claim such as this, where an entity appears in ones presence without any known means is a stark claim all on its own, to provide photos of such an encounter is another thing all together, but being as its an anonymous person, how can we gleam any credibility out of this? To put it in other words, is there enough information provided within the original article as well as the follow-up articles to speculate on a potential identity to who this man could have been? Emphatically yes, infact there is only one such individual who fits the criteria with the information provided, granted this information was given after the fact of the original articles publication. In the first article within UFO express that discusses this, we are told this person is running experiments relating to dogs (canine) eyesight, but the author was unsure whether or not this is a jest of some sort. I do not believe it is, in the secondary article it is again mentioned that this professor is working with canine eyesight, but in a caption on the second page it is emphasized this was "non-academic research". Now does that mean it was unrelated to their professional focus? No, it simply means this research was carried outside of official means. This leads me to who I believe the primary suspect is in terms of a potential identity, could there be other more accurate people? Perhaps. But this persons tenure and level of research within this subject and the timeframe of when they were working at the University of Pavia lines up perfectly with who this person could be. However, because of doxxing concerns, and that they initially requested complete anonymity from the publication I will not be directly naming their identity here. But I will heavily state that this person worked in the university of Pavia from 1985 in the zoology department and specifically with foxes and wolves. With this person having worked and published (into the present) works related to both of these fields. I have attempted to personally reach out to this professor both via email & telephone (their academic numbers, not personal) but have received no response. I would ask that if you do look into who this person is that you do not attempt to directly contact them as their lack of a response is response enough. What was the encounter like? How long did it go on for? Was there a conversation or was this a quick in and out? These questions and more are not answered here, and perhaps never will be unless someone; the professor, an associate, or anyone else, comes forward with more details we are left wondering and wanting more. There is of course much to be said about these images and the potential for further investigations, including the peculiar hands this entity seems to posses that does have a passing resemblance to other cases, but lest this drag on to long I will leave it here and attempt to answer any questions that I may be capable of giving insight on. Sources and resources used Archive link for translations and scans of original Corriere della Sera article https://archive.org/details/Paviaentity Magazine and other ufological material sources: https://files.afu.se/Downloads/?dir=./ Document scanner for afu and other documents/sites https://updb.app/ alieni in italia by Moreno Tambelini ImgOps for reverse image searching https://ufologie.patrickgross.org/sys/text.htm & Albert Rosales for their compilations of humanoid encounters. If you have had an encounter or know someone who has had an encounter similar to this or identical to this, do not hesitate to DM or message me with the details. |
2024.05.13 14:14 Ufonauter In 1986 an Italian professor working for the University of Pavia in Italy would have a face to face encounter with an unknown entity. But unlike so many other encounters, this professor was able to take 5 photos.
 | To begin with, I will state that this post was months in the making (mostly waiting and chasing false leads) and carries with it perhaps some answers, plenty of questions, and perhaps for some, a similarity to their own experiences. Special thanks to u/Neo-Rex as well as u/ebycon for their assistance in helping me find and rule out some areas of research. submitted by Ufonauter to Humanoidencounters [link] [comments] Disclaimer: The following images and text are provided without photo manipulation on my end (besides simple cropping and scanning). There are going to be many references in this post to Italian media, magazines, as well as individual writers. This is by no means an endorsement, advertisement, or other form of ARG intended to sell, market, or persuade anyone to buy, rent, or procure any of the described materials. Because I know this is a new area of topic, and because the images provided are of an unusual nature, I will provide various sources to prove that these images are not enhanced, manipulated by hand or by a contemporary photo manipulation program or AI generation. Before we get into the nitty gritty of the images I will provide background as to how I came upon these images, and the flow of information. I was first made aware of these images after researching separate alien encounters for a post of mine (see that post here for further details regarding that) one of the sources used was "alieni in italia 1945-1995 50 anni di incontri ravvicinati". On page VIII towards the back of the book these images (or rather image as three were compressed into one section) as well as the following text appears https://preview.redd.it/le5wrt3rm60d1.jpg?width=806&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39919dfcd089925de049eb66794003a5dab20573 "Vero alieno o scoop giornalistico? Ho evitato di inserire nel presente catalogo questo caso avvero singolare. Si tratte infatti di alcune foto )5_ scattate da un non meglio indentificato "professore universitario di pavia" nell'estate del 1986 e pubblicate da sette. il settimanale del Corriere della Sera. Si referiscono ad una presunta entita aliena che si sarebbe manifestata al professore in una situazione del tutto casuale. Non sono mancati pareri sfavorevoli expressi da parecchi ufologi. ( Foto tratte da: Sette n. 9/10 sette giorni illustrati dal Corriere della Sera, 5 marzo, 1988. Translated: "Real alien or journalistic scoop? I have avoided including in the present catalog this singular case. These are in fact some photos(5) taken by an unidentified "university professor from Pavia" in the summer of 1986 and published by seven. The weekly newspaper Corriere della Sera. They refer to an alleged alien entity that allegedly manifested itself to the professor in a completely random situation. There was no shortage of unfavorable opinions expressed by several ufologists. ( Photo taken from: Seven No. 9/10 seven days illustrated by Corriere della Sera, March 5, 1988. That was all the information provided within. (it should be noted that although this description mentions 5 photos, there are only these 3 provided within Moreno Tambellinis book.) These images captured my attention fairly quickly as I am fairly familiar with purported alien/supernatural photographs, so to find one I have never seen, and in such a quality which is general not present within other such photos as these, was more than enough to tip my curiosity in the direction of delving deeper. First attempt at finding further information regarding these photos, and this particular magazine issue ended in little success, though I was able to find what I, at the time, believed to be a correctly colorized image of this entity. See below. https://preview.redd.it/tc06rvxum60d1.png?width=341&format=png&auto=webp&s=141ee2128cdcd0894f57f999876ff380a4def235 Unassuming on some random blog that attributed a name to this entity while providing no further information regarding the image itself (as certain ufological circles are want to do). Not finding further information I attempted to find further information based off of this colorized image, but to no avail. Save for one source that used this image ( in a different colorized manner, slightly less yellow and oozing with potential, that being this image by Argentinian Ufologist Dante Franch. See below. https://preview.redd.it/39i2rdvxm60d1.png?width=280&format=png&auto=webp&s=14bf476ca33164db334bc4b835a52b349d66990d Finally, someone who might have a lead on this information! But no, once again this image is deceptively alluring as the contents of this book have absolutely nothing to do with the Sette report, but simply use its image to describe unsourced and unverified tales of the City of Erks (a wild dive on its own and may be deserving of its own post) and other entities that supposedly have a resemblance to this cover image. Upon further searches I came across this archived link with additional images some with closer to truth color, including the aforementioned first colorized image here https://web.archive.org/web/20080312200229/https://www.anomalia.org/perspectivas/fotosets/campo_cielo.htm as well as the additional references. The author of this blog post is Mexican Ufologist Luis Ruiz Noguez, notable for his skepticism and thorough investigation relating to this material, so it was a no-brainier to look into his research regarding this seeing as he had previously mentioned it here on his blogpost. So where better to look than his book "Extraterrestres ante las camaras" Volume X dealing specifically with italian encounters and purported alien photographs. But again, despite his previous notation in this blog, the contents of these images specifically are nowhere to be seen or mentioned within this book. Research stagnated for some time during the search process for the original source cited in Moreno Tambellinis book. I was able after five months (you have no idea how hard it was to find a copy) able to acquire a copy of this magazine and finally was able to determine that the previously assumed white coverall of this entities outfit has been a false notion. The following text is a translation of the pages within this issue of march 7th 1988 Sette: Corriere della Cera . 9/10, the original scans, as well as a translated text document of these pages can be found in the sources listed below. Important note: although these images are primary focus of this article, it does meander into thoughts on Whitley Striebers book "Communion" (which will be a source of contention that will be covered later in this post). But the translated post here is the relevant text to these images. "Just as we were editing a report on the UFO phenomenon that was supposed to appear on 7 at the same time as the television passage of Spielberg's film Close Encounters of the third kind, we came across a resounding surprise: the images published in these pages and on the cover of this issue. They were taken completely by chance, one summer evening in 1986, by a professor at the University of Pavia, above all suspicion and known for his balance, his intelligence and rationality, completely alien to the somewhat emphatic and vaguely bizarre world of the so-called "contactees": those people who say they have entered into a relationship with unknown entities from the cosmos." "He is a completely normal person who has always been skeptical of the reports of unidentified flying objects and is now also a testimony, erroneous to the idea that his name is related to the disturbing figure captured by his camera. The university lecturer has agreed to give us what he considers to be evidence of his shocking experience in exchange for absolute confidentiality" "What to make of these images? We can make a few assumptions. A) The author of the photos is a mystrifier. It is unlikely: too much resistance has opposed the publication of his document (which he has yielded for free to 7). In addition, he wishes to remain anonymous. A behavior that is certainly not that of those who want to speculate on a scooop, true or presumed. B) The author is the victim of a game. Someone made him take "fireflies for lanterns". A well-thought-out game, by true professionals. It is not unlikely, even if the professor is not a "contactee", one obsessed with extraterrestrials, that is, a man who could arouse "temptations" among those who know him. C) The photos really document something alien. A mysterious otherness has been captured by the professor's camera, who was the first to be surprised by this tangible presence, imprinted on the film that is absolutely different from a hallucination. What to say? What are we to think of images that forcefully re-propose the problem (or the dream, or the myth, or the nightmare) of the existence of other beings, of other civilizations that populate galaxies or dimensions unknown to us? Science continues to question these facts, but an answer is still a long way off. All experiences at the "edge of reality" are embarrassing. The line that divides science and mystery is still vague. Prudence, in these cases, is a must. And the desire not to appear is widespread among the witnesses. The professor from Pavia, who chose restriction, has an illustrious precedent." "These images, taken on a summer evening in 1986 by a professor at the University of Pavia, who asked to remain anonymous, are the subject of various hypotheses of interpretation in the text of the article. The reader is free to draw his own conclusions." Here are the direct scans of this entity as they appear in the magazine, scanned directly out of a physical copy of this magazine. (do note although these images are uploaded in different order I believe they may be sorted as such, I make no claim to the accuracy of this in terms of chronological order, but which is most aesthetically appeasing.) https://preview.redd.it/tp2rqzw9n60d1.png?width=520&format=png&auto=webp&s=5bef77464608273cc1e6cc1f5b30665c5040a5c2 https://preview.redd.it/vekj9dman60d1.png?width=385&format=png&auto=webp&s=ba133aa62862f89a1e361e21a93de19e9d549496 https://preview.redd.it/sve90i9bn60d1.png?width=388&format=png&auto=webp&s=36e737a33624530c85e48f99d9ffd2d7db04d9f5 https://preview.redd.it/03pcokzbn60d1.png?width=380&format=png&auto=webp&s=b8503bec04896be177ce5420daf0ee71482318a6 https://preview.redd.it/yeehoehcn60d1.png?width=379&format=png&auto=webp&s=d33d814521c2581d2cb3b5c830fa62c5bae5782e Now, while the article was very keen to post certain aspects of this, it was rather lacking, and it must be stated although the title of this issue, as well as the description in the article infer this is related to UFO's. There is no mention of an actual UFO or craft present within this encounter, or at the very least, this information was omitted from the article, and was potentially removed at the request of the professor in question, though that is speculation on my part. The following sections will deal with the author of this previous issue, as well as the two follow-up articles and their individual authors. There is more information present as the above text states, not from the previous issue, but from two separate follow-up articles that were saved and printed in the Italian Ufo magazine "UFO express no. 043." Link to the full untranslated issue here/UFO%20Express%20-%20No%20043.pdf). These separate addendums fully cover the images in question and are critical but not overly-so. The most important aspect to this is that the professor provided further information to Sette, primarily about what they were doing prior to this entities appearance, but also their means of photographic capture. {Page 1} UFO: Is this being from another world? read the scroll on the cover of 7 (No. 9/10) that we republish on this page. Hundreds of phone calls and letters arrived at the editorial office, and they continue to arrive after Mino Damato in his TV program Alla ricerca dell'arca (Sunday, March 27, Rai 3 8:30 p.m.) dealt with the same images, depicting a hypothetical alien photographed by a professor at the University of Pavia one summer evening in 1986. There are those who believe in this hypothetical alien and those who do not, but all of the readers who have phoned or written are bound to each other by the rejection of that question mark printed on the cover: each of them is persuaded to erase the hypothesis, to tear away the veil of the enigma. And they split into two equally intolerant parties, leaving no room for doubt. We have chosen two exemplary letters. The first letter comes from Brixen and is signed by Mr. Nicola De Paola (2 Clesia Street). He says “the alien is a tobogganist: typical are the tight suit the aerodynamic helmet, the face crushed by the transparent visor, the blurred colors and contours of the photos are due to the fact that they were taken from television, with the obj vo blurred or too close up and strange an alien with limbs, head, face and body identical to those of man; I too will be able to take photographs quite similar to those published; as a reader I feel mocked.” Others have certainly seen in the hypothetical alien: a surgeon, a nurse, an ice skater, an Icelandic firefighter, a Norwegian cryologist (sic), a KGB spy, a hockey player with his head bandaged; in short, some man in overalls or uniforms. No one has identified in the figures, despite the width of the pelvis, a woman or an androgynous. The second letter comes from Ferrara and is signed by Mr. Giovanni Mantovani (via Luigi Borsari 51). Says; When I saw the photographs I immediately thought: but look, it looks like the E.T. seen by R.M on September 2, 1987 while he was fishing on the bank of the Canal Bianco (RO). He felt an intense tingling, turned around and saw a strange individual: dark complexion, 2 meters tall, hair that looked like plastic, wearing a luminescent blue jumpsuit. The apparition lasted a few seconds.R.M. felt a chill, a feeling that was renewed at the sight of your photos... Only one remark can be made to the professor of Pavia: that of not having given the readers further clarifications about the close approach of the third type... Here are the further clarifications that the professor from Pavia has allowed us to give, although he is consumed by the fear of being uncovered and covered with ridicule. The photos were taken by a Nikon camera, with motor-drive, 55 mm lens. Micro, 3.5 aperture, shutter speed: 1/4 second Polachrome film, 40 Asa sensitivity. Shortly after the sun went down, the professor was completing some experiments on the optical perception of dogs (how does a dog see things in the world? Black and white? With what depth, in what perspective?). That alone is almost ridiculous. We were missing the hypothetical alien. A dog joke? Maybe. But the professor never solved the riddle. And dogs don't talk. ~ Paolo Pietroni {page caption} The hypothetical alien out of 7 has caused conflicting reactions. The photo was taken from a Nikon by a university lecturer while carrying out experiments on the visual perception of dogs https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paolo_Pietroni (information about this addendums author) {Page 2} Your E.T. seems to me to be a feminine being... Dear editor, I am writing to you in relation to the series of 5 photographs taken by a better identified professor of Pavia one summer evening in 1986 and which appeared in the supplement of the Corriere della Sera n. 9/10 Since I am not familiar with photographic technique, I have written down the shooting parameters communicated by you personally during Mino D'Amato's television program In Search of the Ark on March 27. Correct me if I'm wrong: Nikon camera body with motor, 5.5 mm focal length lens, aperture dia 3.5, exposure time 1/15 of a second. Certainly, with this adjustment, every little movement of the camera or of the photographed subject causes a blurred or rather blurred photograph. Probably, this whole story of the photos arose from the need of the Rizzoli Group to launch on the market the Italian version of the best American seller Communion by Ted Jacob, which deals, coincidentally, with the subject of extraterrestrials. This colossal business is also sponsored by the production of the film, which has been "posted" while waiting for the possible buyers of such a profitable product to be sufficiently sensitized... Having said this, I wish, through his kindness, to convey to the professor of Pavia my modest comments on his photos. Feminism aside, I confess that the first spontaneous observation I made on these photographs was to recognize without a shadow of a doubt a woman, or rather a female being; The conformation of the hips, the breasts, combined with the grace of the bowed pose with folded arms, unequivocally belonged to a woman. But let's get to the details. The suit - It appears so tight that it shows every little part of the body so as to give the impression of a "second skin"; It has light blue-green bands (as shown in the photo on the right on page 74) that are more evident around the neck, on the shoulders and on the arms. The hands - They appear covered by the sleeves and more elongated than ours (cover figure), dare I say w(bed. The head - Although it is more mobile, it clearly shows these elements: oval face with a slightly flattened nose, microphone with a light-colored support arm placed at the height of the left ear (photo on the right, page 74) The headset - It is completely different from any type currently built because it contains a transceiver module at the top for contact with some support organ (e.g. an operations center, or a cosmoplane, or another operator), similar to what happens in Italy when astronauts go out of their vehicle and maintain constant radio contact with the control center. The transceiver part can be seen both in the cover photo and on page 74, left and right, and is indicated by the protuberance on the top of the skull. This study was born well out of any venal or other interest, in fact I am not a ufologist, but a pilot in full flight activity and with command responsibilities; I have been a first-hand witness to the phenomenon commonly associated with the improper name of UFO Sure of the need to deal with the subject with more compatible methodologies than those promulgated by scientists and ufologists, I dedicate myself to the enhancement of aeronautical contactism, intending with this new term to redefine the sightings of military and civil pilots, aeronautical technicians, engineers, etc. who through direct experience with the phenomenon have acquired the conviction that we are not alone Only those who have had a direct impact with the phenomenon (the contactee) can provide a plausible image of themselves... everything else... They are only lucubrations born from mindsets that are not up-to-date with the present sotric moment on the one hand, and with the characteristics of the phenomenon on the other. {end of article caption} I forwarded his observations to the professor in Pavia, author of the photos depicting the hypothetical alien. Thank you for your interesting analysis. You are free to believe it or not, but the Rizzoli Communion book had an absolutely random presence in our service: we liked the design of the cover; the portrait of that E.T. and we thought of enriching the illustrations of the service. Roberto Doz (a fairly interesting individual on his own, air force colonel with his own UFO sighting) read more on that here As for the author of the original article. Their name is Nullo Cantaroni, and may be more well known by his wife Bice Cairati( Sveva Casati Modigiani), Nullo Cantaroni had a fairly successful journalistic career, dealing primarily in medicine as co-authorized by fellow science journalist Severina Cantaroni. He eventually succumbed to Parkinson's disease. I make mention of these authors, Roberto Doz (who has a very good reason to be interested in the topic as he had his own experience). As well as the other two as these are not the ramblings of some crazy pumping out their own versions of weekly world news, but were and still are highly credible and respected peoples, whom by their own association are taking the flak for posting this material to begin with. From here on out, this is going to be a further dive into the already presented material, some comparisons with other cases which have direct correlation with these images, as well as other information during my research that has not been touched on up until this point. In the first follow-up article there is mention of a show "Alla Ricera dell'arca (In search of the ARK)". With he show discussing the images posted here. I was able to confirm that this episode does exist, with the covered material, and is within the RAI archives (Italian TV network/station). However, they would not lend the episode out to a non-Italian citizen, or someone associated with a University, or media conglomeration. I mention this as there may be more material covered in this episode that was not provided in the main article and its follow-ups. If there are any Italian citizens, or peoples reading this who have the appropriate accreditation to acquire a copy of this episode I would ask for your cooperation in attempting to do so. If someone has a copy of this simply recorded off of an old VHS I implore you to make that available to all. Going back to the main article, the meandering to Communion is certainly off-putting, though I disagree with the previous mention that this was a hoax on the part of the publication to push Communion. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence after all (even though Carl Sagan never bothered with the evidence, side tangent: listen to J Allen Hynek talk about that here) But I believe these images were published in good faith on part of Nullo Cantaroni, his background and thorough career would make this unlikely. So as it figures there are three scenarios here that describe this scenario (in no particular order of likelihood) 1) these images are hoaxed by the publication to push communion 2) these images are hoaxed by the supposed professor 3) these images are legitimate and provide evidence of a non-earth based entity. Before I move on I'd like to mention that I did attempt to reach out to Corriere della Sera multiple times regarding this material but was never given a response. To round this off the images themselves. Humanoid obviously, female-appearing, now I say appearing because assuming this really is some unexpected entity, there is no guarantee that the physiology of this figure accurately represents its determination, and although this entity appears to have what we'd consider to be skin, that may only be a covering to another form or may be some type of robotic synthetic life-form designed specifically to mimic human appearances. What may be most interesting or most alarming depending on your perspective is this entities face appears to change between shots, and yet seemingly keeps the same body proportions. If you are of the opinion this is some type of hoax you could state this is an obvious inconsistency between shots. On the other hand, that is an obvious conclusion to make and showing differentiating faces would be a rather odd choice on the part of a hoaxer. This again could be part of the photographing process, as there is motion blur between some of these photos and it simply gives an appearance that things are changing. There are other features which must be touched upon, namely the clothing, but in one such photo, what appears to be some type of headgear wrapped around this entities face. To anyone with a passing knowledge of ufology and its associated lore would know, the favorite of any interstellar interloper is the tight formfitting bodysuit. Primarily described as blue, although other colors are often reported. But unlike most humanoid encounters described in the west, this entity seems to have a darker complexion about them. Now does that mean this does not fit in with established prior encounters? Not at all, for whatever reason the blonde-hair nordic is the most popular discussion topic when it comes to human-adjacent lifeforms, but in other places, and Italy especially, some of their most well know or most covered, feature entities with darker complexions. Case in point https://preview.redd.it/0s611i7hn60d1.jpg?width=884&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbc1472a0e49504d71a975ebaccb91639e592ed1 This encounter in 1978 Italy with a dark-skinned entity in a shimmering scaled suit. Or this description of a dark skinned entity with a similar described blue suit reported in 1987 Location. Villamarzana, Rome, Italy Date: September 2 1987 Time: 1700 Renzo Munari was fishing on the Bianco Canal when he noticed a strange object flying at a moderated speed over the river, as the object disappeared from sight he felt a strange prickling sensation in his body, resembling electrical static. Turning around he saw a very tall human-like figure staring intently at him. The figure was at least 2 meters in height, with orange hair and dark skin. He wore a luminous blue colored tight fitting coverall. On the left side of his chest there was a square orange colored “tag.” During the encounter the witness felt a cool wave of air and light headed. The figure apparently disappeared into the brush. Source: Archivio SUF, USOCAT by The Italian Center forUFO Studies (CISU) There is also this report from 1989 Russia Location. Salsk, Rostov region, Russia Date: August 13 1989 Time: 2300 Working at a cotton irrigation plant Vasiliy Ivanovich suddenly experienced total equipment failure without any apparent cause. While searching for the cause of the breakdown, the witness heard a loud voice, “He is searching for the cause”. Looking around he saw four humanoids standing close to him. One stood in the front, while the other three stood in the back. He described the humanoids as tall, with long dangling arms, with a large head, flattened on the top and wide at the temples. The humanoids are dark red or brown in color with large egg-shaped eyes and two holes instead of a nose. They have no lips, and thin strip instead of a mouth. They were wearing truncated shiny blue coveralls and footwear. The humanoid standing at the front of the others held a box in his hand and a soft pleasant voice seemed to emanate from the box. He held the box at stomach level. Ivanovich approached the humanoids and asked who they were; the reply was a question asking him if he wanted to go with them. At this point the witness saw a light at the edge of the nearby woods and a hovering object. The humanoids then floated slowly towards the craft and disappeared. Terrified the witness ran to the village to notify other witnesses but upon returning to the site the humanoids had already left. Source:UFOZONE Russia As for the headgear, there is a report from 1995 Italy of an entity not resembling this one in this post, but wearing a similarly described headpiece. Location: Ancona, Italy Date: February 3 1994, Time: 9:00am Six witnesses, including a Mr. Giulo observed a strange humanoid wandering around some nearby rocks. The humanoid was described as about 1 meter and a half in height, wearing a tight fitting black coverall that covered his whole body including a pair of very long feet. The face was elongated with two huge round eyes, with round black pupils. It appeared to be wearing earphones with a small thin protruding antenna. It seemed to stagger slowly and after about 10 minutes it rose up slowly and vertically into the air, quickly disappearing from sight Source: CISU Italy. There is also this case from Barisciano Italy 1978 in which an entity bearing a striking similar blue color to the outfit was seen, with an adorning white "cap" or hairpiece that resembled that of a cap. read the untranslated version of that encounter here/Notiziario%20UFO%20-%201984%2001-02%20-%20Vol%2018%20No%20102.pdf) https://preview.redd.it/gkgzwmvyp60d1.png?width=310&format=png&auto=webp&s=65238cf5324c0acfcc076966d141d0114eb89be5 Finally, lets get back to the person allegedly behind this whole spiel, the Professor. A claim such as this, where an entity appears in ones presence without any known means is a stark claim all on its own, to provide photos of such an encounter is another thing all together, but being as its an anonymous person, how can we gleam any credibility out of this? To put it in other words, is there enough information provided within the original article as well as the follow-up articles to speculate on a potential identity to who this man could have been? Emphatically yes, infact there is only one such individual who fits the criteria with the information provided, granted this information was given after the fact of the original articles publication. In the first article within UFO express that discusses this, we are told this person is running experiments relating to dogs (canine) eyesight, but the author was unsure whether or not this is a jest of some sort. I do not believe it is, in the secondary article it is again mentioned that this professor is working with canine eyesight, but in a caption on the second page it is emphasized this was "non-academic research". Now does that mean it was unrelated to their professional focus? No, it simply means this research was carried outside of official means. This leads me to who I believe the primary suspect is in terms of a potential identity, could there be other more accurate people? Perhaps. But this persons tenure and level of research within this subject and the timeframe of when they were working at the University of Pavia lines up perfectly with who this person could be. However, because of doxxing concerns, and that they initially requested complete anonymity from the publication I will not be directly naming their identity here. But I will heavily state that this person worked in the university of Pavia from 1985 in the zoology department and specifically with foxes and wolves. With this person having worked and published (into the present) works related to both of these fields. I have attempted to personally reach out to this professor both via email & telephone (their academic numbers, not personal) but have received no response. I would ask that if you do look into who this person is that you do not attempt to directly contact them as their lack of a response is response enough. What was the encounter like? How long did it go on for? Was there a conversation or was this a quick in and out? These questions and more are not answered here, and perhaps never will be unless someone; the professor, an associate, or anyone else, comes forward with more details we are left wondering and wanting more. There is of course much to be said about these images and the potential for further investigations, including the peculiar hands this entity seems to posses that does have a passing resemblance to other cases, but lest this drag on to long I will leave it here and attempt to answer any questions that I may be capable of giving insight on. Sources and resources used Archive link for translations and scans of original Corriere della Sera article https://archive.org/details/Paviaentity Magazine and other ufological material sources: https://files.afu.se/Downloads/?dir=./ Document scanner for afu and other documents/sites https://updb.app/ alieni in italia by Moreno Tambelini ImgOps for reverse image searching https://ufologie.patrickgross.org/sys/text.htm & Albert Rosales for their compilations of humanoid encounters. If you have had an encounter or know someone who has had an encounter similar to this or identical to this, do not hesitate to DM or message me with the details. |
2024.05.13 14:14 Ufonauter In 1986 an Italian professor working for the University of Pavia in Italy would have a face to face encounter with an unknown entity. But unlike so many other encounters, this professor was able to take 5 photos.
 | To begin with, I will state that this post was months in the making (mostly waiting and chasing false leads) and carries with it perhaps some answers, plenty of questions, and perhaps for some, a similarity to their own experiences. Special thanks to u/Neo-Rex as well as u/ebycon for their assistance in helping me find and rule out some areas of research. submitted by Ufonauter to aliens [link] [comments] Disclaimer: The following images and text are provided without photo manipulation on my end (besides simple cropping and scanning). There are going to be many references in this post to Italian media, magazines, as well as individual writers. This is by no means an endorsement, advertisement, or other form of ARG intended to sell, market, or persuade anyone to buy, rent, or procure any of the described materials. Because I know this is a new area of topic, and because the images provided are of an unusual nature, I will provide various sources to prove that these images are not enhanced, manipulated by hand or by a contemporary photo manipulation program or AI generation. Before we get into the nitty gritty of the images I will provide background as to how I came upon these images, and the flow of information. I was first made aware of these images after researching separate alien encounters for a post of mine (see that post here for further details regarding that) one of the sources used was "alieni in italia 1945-1995 50 anni di incontri ravvicinati". On page VIII towards the back of the book these images (or rather image as three were compressed into one section) as well as the following text appears https://preview.redd.it/1hnyv22bo60d1.jpg?width=806&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09e5d51a28114e50ae3b1334c4aeda7109558444 "Vero alieno o scoop giornalistico? Ho evitato di inserire nel presente catalogo questo caso avvero singolare. Si tratte infatti di alcune foto )5_ scattate da un non meglio indentificato "professore universitario di pavia" nell'estate del 1986 e pubblicate da sette. il settimanale del Corriere della Sera. Si referiscono ad una presunta entita aliena che si sarebbe manifestata al professore in una situazione del tutto casuale. Non sono mancati pareri sfavorevoli expressi da parecchi ufologi. ( Foto tratte da: Sette n. 9/10 sette giorni illustrati dal Corriere della Sera, 5 marzo, 1988. Translated: "Real alien or journalistic scoop? I have avoided including in the present catalog this singular case. These are in fact some photos(5) taken by an unidentified "university professor from Pavia" in the summer of 1986 and published by seven. The weekly newspaper Corriere della Sera. They refer to an alleged alien entity that allegedly manifested itself to the professor in a completely random situation. There was no shortage of unfavorable opinions expressed by several ufologists. ( Photo taken from: Seven No. 9/10 seven days illustrated by Corriere della Sera, March 5, 1988. That was all the information provided within. (it should be noted that although this description mentions 5 photos, there are only these 3 provided within Moreno Tambellinis book.) These images captured my attention fairly quickly as I am fairly familiar with purported alien/supernatural photographs, so to find one I have never seen, and in such a quality which is general not present within other such photos as these, was more than enough to tip my curiosity in the direction of delving deeper. First attempt at finding further information regarding these photos, and this particular magazine issue ended in little success, though I was able to find what I, at the time, believed to be a correctly colorized image of this entity. See below. https://preview.redd.it/ntnngh1fo60d1.png?width=341&format=png&auto=webp&s=7685ab304637834f06c14c93b6158e23f8ed66a6 Unassuming on some random blog that attributed a name to this entity while providing no further information regarding the image itself (as certain ufological circles are want to do). Not finding further information I attempted to find further information based off of this colorized image, but to no avail. Save for one source that used this image ( in a different colorized manner, slightly less yellow and oozing with potential, that being this image by Argentinian Ufologist Dante Franch. See below. https://preview.redd.it/y99g6yhho60d1.png?width=280&format=png&auto=webp&s=a784d5d82998aab7784b0e0ff8507bf999b7e320 Finally, someone who might have a lead on this information! But no, once again this image is deceptively alluring as the contents of this book have absolutely nothing to do with the Sette report, but simply use its image to describe unsourced and unverified tales of the City of Erks (a wild dive on its own and may be deserving of its own post) and other entities that supposedly have a resemblance to this cover image. Upon further searches I came across this archived link with additional images some with closer to truth color, including the aforementioned first colorized image here https://web.archive.org/web/20080312200229/https://www.anomalia.org/perspectivas/fotosets/campo_cielo.htm as well as the additional references. The author of this blog post is Mexican Ufologist Luis Ruiz Noguez, notable for his skepticism and thorough investigation relating to this material, so it was a no-brainier to look into his research regarding this seeing as he had previously mentioned it here on his blogpost. So where better to look than his book "Extraterrestres ante las camaras" Volume X dealing specifically with italian encounters and purported alien photographs. But again, despite his previous notation in this blog, the contents of these images specifically are nowhere to be seen or mentioned within this book. Research stagnated for some time during the search process for the original source cited in Moreno Tambellinis book. I was able after five months (you have no idea how hard it was to find a copy) able to acquire a copy of this magazine and finally was able to determine that the previously assumed white coverall of this entities outfit has been a false notion. The following text is a translation of the pages within this issue of march 7th 1988 Sette: Corriere della Cera . 9/10, the original scans, as well as a translated text document of these pages can be found in the sources listed below. Important note: although these images are primary focus of this article, it does meander into thoughts on Whitley Striebers book "Communion" (which will be a source of contention that will be covered later in this post). But the translated post here is the relevant text to these images. "Just as we were editing a report on the UFO phenomenon that was supposed to appear on 7 at the same time as the television passage of Spielberg's film Close Encounters of the third kind, we came across a resounding surprise: the images published in these pages and on the cover of this issue. They were taken completely by chance, one summer evening in 1986, by a professor at the University of Pavia, above all suspicion and known for his balance, his intelligence and rationality, completely alien to the somewhat emphatic and vaguely bizarre world of the so-called "contactees": those people who say they have entered into a relationship with unknown entities from the cosmos." "He is a completely normal person who has always been skeptical of the reports of unidentified flying objects and is now also a testimony, erroneous to the idea that his name is related to the disturbing figure captured by his camera. The university lecturer has agreed to give us what he considers to be evidence of his shocking experience in exchange for absolute confidentiality" "What to make of these images? We can make a few assumptions. A) The author of the photos is a mystrifier. It is unlikely: too much resistance has opposed the publication of his document (which he has yielded for free to 7). In addition, he wishes to remain anonymous. A behavior that is certainly not that of those who want to speculate on a scooop, true or presumed. B) The author is the victim of a game. Someone made him take "fireflies for lanterns". A well-thought-out game, by true professionals. It is not unlikely, even if the professor is not a "contactee", one obsessed with extraterrestrials, that is, a man who could arouse "temptations" among those who know him. C) The photos really document something alien. A mysterious otherness has been captured by the professor's camera, who was the first to be surprised by this tangible presence, imprinted on the film that is absolutely different from a hallucination. What to say? What are we to think of images that forcefully re-propose the problem (or the dream, or the myth, or the nightmare) of the existence of other beings, of other civilizations that populate galaxies or dimensions unknown to us? Science continues to question these facts, but an answer is still a long way off. All experiences at the "edge of reality" are embarrassing. The line that divides science and mystery is still vague. Prudence, in these cases, is a must. And the desire not to appear is widespread among the witnesses. The professor from Pavia, who chose restriction, has an illustrious precedent." "These images, taken on a summer evening in 1986 by a professor at the University of Pavia, who asked to remain anonymous, are the subject of various hypotheses of interpretation in the text of the article. The reader is free to draw his own conclusions." Here are the direct scans of this entity as they appear in the magazine, scanned directly out of a physical copy of this magazine. (do note although these images are uploaded in different order I believe they may be sorted as such, I make no claim to the accuracy of this in terms of chronological order, but which is most aesthetically appeasing.) https://preview.redd.it/gkd3fj3oo60d1.png?width=520&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f338883f62abde93e6b1218b3191b13658dc32b https://preview.redd.it/7gc9l0uoo60d1.png?width=385&format=png&auto=webp&s=cc71696af8105b30f865affcb325b31655c17532 https://preview.redd.it/t0opnydpo60d1.png?width=388&format=png&auto=webp&s=da17154ba1e5f4943f0e38094d87819b63229d41 https://preview.redd.it/1bmptx1qo60d1.png?width=380&format=png&auto=webp&s=d25f5df93e493b58ed46d19b61119b539338972b https://preview.redd.it/qoaheyjqo60d1.png?width=379&format=png&auto=webp&s=6fd19b6d756df32c032ce84b2289437081695893 Now, while the article was very keen to post certain aspects of this, it was rather lacking, and it must be stated although the title of this issue, as well as the description in the article infer this is related to UFO's. There is no mention of an actual UFO or craft present within this encounter, or at the very least, this information was omitted from the article, and was potentially removed at the request of the professor in question, though that is speculation on my part. The following sections will deal with the author of this previous issue, as well as the two follow-up articles and their individual authors. There is more information present as the above text states, not from the previous issue, but from two separate follow-up articles that were saved and printed in the Italian Ufo magazine "UFO express no. 043." Link to the full untranslated issue here/UFO%20Express%20-%20No%20043.pdf). These separate addendums fully cover the images in question and are critical but not overly-so. The most important aspect to this is that the professor provided further information to Sette, primarily about what they were doing prior to this entities appearance, but also their means of photographic capture. {Page 1} UFO: Is this being from another world? read the scroll on the cover of 7 (No. 9/10) that we republish on this page. Hundreds of phone calls and letters arrived at the editorial office, and they continue to arrive after Mino Damato in his TV program Alla ricerca dell'arca (Sunday, March 27, Rai 3 8:30 p.m.) dealt with the same images, depicting a hypothetical alien photographed by a professor at the University of Pavia one summer evening in 1986. There are those who believe in this hypothetical alien and those who do not, but all of the readers who have phoned or written are bound to each other by the rejection of that question mark printed on the cover: each of them is persuaded to erase the hypothesis, to tear away the veil of the enigma. And they split into two equally intolerant parties, leaving no room for doubt. We have chosen two exemplary letters. The first letter comes from Brixen and is signed by Mr. Nicola De Paola (2 Clesia Street). He says “the alien is a tobogganist: typical are the tight suit the aerodynamic helmet, the face crushed by the transparent visor, the blurred colors and contours of the photos are due to the fact that they were taken from television, with the obj vo blurred or too close up and strange an alien with limbs, head, face and body identical to those of man; I too will be able to take photographs quite similar to those published; as a reader I feel mocked.” Others have certainly seen in the hypothetical alien: a surgeon, a nurse, an ice skater, an Icelandic firefighter, a Norwegian cryologist (sic), a KGB spy, a hockey player with his head bandaged; in short, some man in overalls or uniforms. No one has identified in the figures, despite the width of the pelvis, a woman or an androgynous. The second letter comes from Ferrara and is signed by Mr. Giovanni Mantovani (via Luigi Borsari 51). Says; When I saw the photographs I immediately thought: but look, it looks like the E.T. seen by R.M on September 2, 1987 while he was fishing on the bank of the Canal Bianco (RO). He felt an intense tingling, turned around and saw a strange individual: dark complexion, 2 meters tall, hair that looked like plastic, wearing a luminescent blue jumpsuit. The apparition lasted a few seconds.R.M. felt a chill, a feeling that was renewed at the sight of your photos... Only one remark can be made to the professor of Pavia: that of not having given the readers further clarifications about the close approach of the third type... Here are the further clarifications that the professor from Pavia has allowed us to give, although he is consumed by the fear of being uncovered and covered with ridicule. The photos were taken by a Nikon camera, with motor-drive, 55 mm lens. Micro, 3.5 aperture, shutter speed: 1/4 second Polachrome film, 40 Asa sensitivity. Shortly after the sun went down, the professor was completing some experiments on the optical perception of dogs (how does a dog see things in the world? Black and white? With what depth, in what perspective?). That alone is almost ridiculous. We were missing the hypothetical alien. A dog joke? Maybe. But the professor never solved the riddle. And dogs don't talk. ~ Paolo Pietroni {page caption} The hypothetical alien out of 7 has caused conflicting reactions. The photo was taken from a Nikon by a university lecturer while carrying out experiments on the visual perception of dogs https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paolo_Pietroni (information about this addendums author) {Page 2} Your E.T. seems to me to be a feminine being... Dear editor, I am writing to you in relation to the series of 5 photographs taken by a better identified professor of Pavia one summer evening in 1986 and which appeared in the supplement of the Corriere della Sera n. 9/10 Since I am not familiar with photographic technique, I have written down the shooting parameters communicated by you personally during Mino D'Amato's television program In Search of the Ark on March 27. Correct me if I'm wrong: Nikon camera body with motor, 5.5 mm focal length lens, aperture dia 3.5, exposure time 1/15 of a second. Certainly, with this adjustment, every little movement of the camera or of the photographed subject causes a blurred or rather blurred photograph. Probably, this whole story of the photos arose from the need of the Rizzoli Group to launch on the market the Italian version of the best American seller Communion by Ted Jacob, which deals, coincidentally, with the subject of extraterrestrials. This colossal business is also sponsored by the production of the film, which has been "posted" while waiting for the possible buyers of such a profitable product to be sufficiently sensitized... Having said this, I wish, through his kindness, to convey to the professor of Pavia my modest comments on his photos. Feminism aside, I confess that the first spontaneous observation I made on these photographs was to recognize without a shadow of a doubt a woman, or rather a female being; The conformation of the hips, the breasts, combined with the grace of the bowed pose with folded arms, unequivocally belonged to a woman. But let's get to the details. The suit - It appears so tight that it shows every little part of the body so as to give the impression of a "second skin"; It has light blue-green bands (as shown in the photo on the right on page 74) that are more evident around the neck, on the shoulders and on the arms. The hands - They appear covered by the sleeves and more elongated than ours (cover figure), dare I say w(bed. The head - Although it is more mobile, it clearly shows these elements: oval face with a slightly flattened nose, microphone with a light-colored support arm placed at the height of the left ear (photo on the right, page 74) The headset - It is completely different from any type currently built because it contains a transceiver module at the top for contact with some support organ (e.g. an operations center, or a cosmoplane, or another operator), similar to what happens in Italy when astronauts go out of their vehicle and maintain constant radio contact with the control center. The transceiver part can be seen both in the cover photo and on page 74, left and right, and is indicated by the protuberance on the top of the skull. This study was born well out of any venal or other interest, in fact I am not a ufologist, but a pilot in full flight activity and with command responsibilities; I have been a first-hand witness to the phenomenon commonly associated with the improper name of UFO Sure of the need to deal with the subject with more compatible methodologies than those promulgated by scientists and ufologists, I dedicate myself to the enhancement of aeronautical contactism, intending with this new term to redefine the sightings of military and civil pilots, aeronautical technicians, engineers, etc. who through direct experience with the phenomenon have acquired the conviction that we are not alone Only those who have had a direct impact with the phenomenon (the contactee) can provide a plausible image of themselves... everything else... They are only lucubrations born from mindsets that are not up-to-date with the present sotric moment on the one hand, and with the characteristics of the phenomenon on the other. {end of article caption} I forwarded his observations to the professor in Pavia, author of the photos depicting the hypothetical alien. Thank you for your interesting analysis. You are free to believe it or not, but the Rizzoli Communion book had an absolutely random presence in our service: we liked the design of the cover; the portrait of that E.T. and we thought of enriching the illustrations of the service. Roberto Doz (a fairly interesting individual on his own, air force colonel with his own UFO sighting) read more on that here As for the author of the original article. Their name is Nullo Cantaroni, and may be more well known by his wife Bice Cairati( Sveva Casati Modigiani), Nullo Cantaroni had a fairly successful journalistic career, dealing primarily in medicine as co-authorized by fellow science journalist Severina Cantaroni. He eventually succumbed to Parkinson's disease. I make mention of these authors, Roberto Doz (who has a very good reason to be interested in the topic as he had his own experience). As well as the other two as these are not the ramblings of some crazy pumping out their own versions of weekly world news, but were and still are highly credible and respected peoples, whom by their own association are taking the flak for posting this material to begin with. From here on out, this is going to be a further dive into the already presented material, some comparisons with other cases which have direct correlation with these images, as well as other information during my research that has not been touched on up until this point. In the first follow-up article there is mention of a show "Alla Ricera dell'arca (In search of the ARK)". With he show discussing the images posted here. I was able to confirm that this episode does exist, with the covered material, and is within the RAI archives (Italian TV network/station). However, they would not lend the episode out to a non-Italian citizen, or someone associated with a University, or media conglomeration. I mention this as there may be more material covered in this episode that was not provided in the main article and its follow-ups. If there are any Italian citizens, or peoples reading this who have the appropriate accreditation to acquire a copy of this episode I would ask for your cooperation in attempting to do so. If someone has a copy of this simply recorded off of an old VHS I implore you to make that available to all. Going back to the main article, the meandering to Communion is certainly off-putting, though I disagree with the previous mention that this was a hoax on the part of the publication to push Communion. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence after all (even though Carl Sagan never bothered with the evidence, side tangent: listen to J Allen Hynek talk about that here) But I believe these images were published in good faith on part of Nullo Cantaroni, his background and thorough career would make this unlikely. So as it figures there are three scenarios here that describe this scenario (in no particular order of likelihood) 1) these images are hoaxed by the publication to push communion 2) these images are hoaxed by the supposed professor 3) these images are legitimate and provide evidence of a non-earth based entity. Before I move on I'd like to mention that I did attempt to reach out to Corriere della Sera multiple times regarding this material but was never given a response. To round this off the images themselves. Humanoid obviously, female-appearing, now I say appearing because assuming this really is some unexpected entity, there is no guarantee that the physiology of this figure accurately represents its determination, and although this entity appears to have what we'd consider to be skin, that may only be a covering to another form or may be some type of robotic synthetic life-form designed specifically to mimic human appearances. What may be most interesting or most alarming depending on your perspective is this entities face appears to change between shots, and yet seemingly keeps the same body proportions. If you are of the opinion this is some type of hoax you could state this is an obvious inconsistency between shots. On the other hand, that is an obvious conclusion to make and showing differentiating faces would be a rather odd choice on the part of a hoaxer. This again could be part of the photographing process, as there is motion blur between some of these photos and it simply gives an appearance that things are changing. There are other features which must be touched upon, namely the clothing, but in one such photo, what appears to be some type of headgear wrapped around this entities face. To anyone with a passing knowledge of ufology and its associated lore would know, the favorite of any interstellar interloper is the tight formfitting bodysuit. Primarily described as blue, although other colors are often reported. But unlike most humanoid encounters described in the west, this entity seems to have a darker complexion about them. Now does that mean this does not fit in with established prior encounters? Not at all, for whatever reason the blonde-hair nordic is the most popular discussion topic when it comes to human-adjacent lifeforms, but in other places, and Italy especially, some of their most well know or most covered, feature entities with darker complexions. Case in point https://preview.redd.it/6e3ymfuxo60d1.jpg?width=884&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c77b73123544adddbf17bacb780841cd81a61a6b This encounter in 1978 Italy with a dark-skinned entity in a shimmering scaled suit. Or this description of a dark skinned entity with a similar described blue suit reported in 1987 Location. Villamarzana, Rome, Italy Date: September 2 1987 Time: 1700 Renzo Munari was fishing on the Bianco Canal when he noticed a strange object flying at a moderated speed over the river, as the object disappeared from sight he felt a strange prickling sensation in his body, resembling electrical static. Turning around he saw a very tall human-like figure staring intently at him. The figure was at least 2 meters in height, with orange hair and dark skin. He wore a luminous blue colored tight fitting coverall. On the left side of his chest there was a square orange colored “tag.” During the encounter the witness felt a cool wave of air and light headed. The figure apparently disappeared into the brush. Source: Archivio SUF, USOCAT by The Italian Center forUFO Studies (CISU) There is also this report from 1989 Russia Location. Salsk, Rostov region, Russia Date: August 13 1989 Time: 2300 Working at a cotton irrigation plant Vasiliy Ivanovich suddenly experienced total equipment failure without any apparent cause. While searching for the cause of the breakdown, the witness heard a loud voice, “He is searching for the cause”. Looking around he saw four humanoids standing close to him. One stood in the front, while the other three stood in the back. He described the humanoids as tall, with long dangling arms, with a large head, flattened on the top and wide at the temples. The humanoids are dark red or brown in color with large egg-shaped eyes and two holes instead of a nose. They have no lips, and thin strip instead of a mouth. They were wearing truncated shiny blue coveralls and footwear. The humanoid standing at the front of the others held a box in his hand and a soft pleasant voice seemed to emanate from the box. He held the box at stomach level. Ivanovich approached the humanoids and asked who they were; the reply was a question asking him if he wanted to go with them. At this point the witness saw a light at the edge of the nearby woods and a hovering object. The humanoids then floated slowly towards the craft and disappeared. Terrified the witness ran to the village to notify other witnesses but upon returning to the site the humanoids had already left. Source:UFOZONE Russia As for the headgear, there is a report from 1995 Italy of an entity not resembling this one in this post, but wearing a similarly described headpiece. Location: Ancona, Italy Date: February 3 1994, Time: 9:00am Six witnesses, including a Mr. Giulo observed a strange humanoid wandering around some nearby rocks. The humanoid was described as about 1 meter and a half in height, wearing a tight fitting black coverall that covered his whole body including a pair of very long feet. The face was elongated with two huge round eyes, with round black pupils. It appeared to be wearing earphones with a small thin protruding antenna. It seemed to stagger slowly and after about 10 minutes it rose up slowly and vertically into the air, quickly disappearing from sight Source: CISU Italy. There is also this case from Barisciano Italy 1978 in which an entity bearing a striking similar blue color to the outfit was seen, with an adorning white "cap" or hairpiece that resembled that of a cap. read the untranslated version of that encounter here/Notiziario%20UFO%20-%201984%2001-02%20-%20Vol%2018%20No%20102.pdf) https://preview.redd.it/21kjohdup60d1.png?width=310&format=png&auto=webp&s=177c364d88aa666573433fc2510a448ad4847398 Finally, lets get back to the person allegedly behind this whole spiel, the Professor. A claim such as this, where an entity appears in ones presence without any known means is a stark claim all on its own, to provide photos of such an encounter is another thing all together, but being as its an anonymous person, how can we gleam any credibility out of this? To put it in other words, is there enough information provided within the original article as well as the follow-up articles to speculate on a potential identity to who this man could have been? Emphatically yes, infact there is only one such individual who fits the criteria with the information provided, granted this information was given after the fact of the original articles publication. In the first article within UFO express that discusses this, we are told this person is running experiments relating to dogs (canine) eyesight, but the author was unsure whether or not this is a jest of some sort. I do not believe it is, in the secondary article it is again mentioned that this professor is working with canine eyesight, but in a caption on the second page it is emphasized this was "non-academic research". Now does that mean it was unrelated to their professional focus? No, it simply means this research was carried outside of official means. This leads me to who I believe the primary suspect is in terms of a potential identity, could there be other more accurate people? Perhaps. But this persons tenure and level of research within this subject and the timeframe of when they were working at the University of Pavia lines up perfectly with who this person could be. However, because of doxxing concerns, and that they initially requested complete anonymity from the publication I will not be directly naming their identity here. But I will heavily state that this person worked in the university of Pavia from 1985 in the zoology department and specifically with foxes and wolves. With this person having worked and published (into the present) works related to both of these fields. I have attempted to personally reach out to this professor both via email & telephone (their academic numbers, not personal) but have received no response. I would ask that if you do look into who this person is that you do not attempt to directly contact them as their lack of a response is response enough. What was the encounter like? How long did it go on for? Was there a conversation or was this a quick in and out? These questions and more are not answered here, and perhaps never will be unless someone; the professor, an associate, or anyone else, comes forward with more details we are left wondering and wanting more. Sources and resources used Archive link for translations and scans of original Corriere della Sera article https://archive.org/details/Paviaentity Magazine and other ufological material sources: https://files.afu.se/Downloads/?dir=./ Document scanner for afu and other documents/sites https://updb.app/ alieni in italia by Moreno Tambelini ImgOps for reverse image searching https://ufologie.patrickgross.org/sys/text.htm & Albert Rosales for their compilations of humanoid encounters. If you have had an encounter or know someone who has had an encounter similar to this or identical to this, do not hesitate to DM or message me with the details. |
2024.05.13 12:59 UltraBlueCynic Feeling trapped
Hellooo, I'll preface this with I'll try to make this as short and concise as possible however that isn't a strong suit of mine.
I'm a 21 year old, in the UK, currently at university. Life over the last few months has felt more chaotic and uncertain than ever, there is the future and jobs/careers on the horizon, as well as more temporary but nonetheless still daunting life challenges I face. I have been to the doctors numerous times about my feelings of anxiety, however often result of the appointments are never productive. I have tried anti-depressants in the past but I wasn't a fan. Recently through some help sessions with my uni, a women informed my I might be autistic. I tried to pursue this path with the GP however I scored low on a questionnaire about the effects a potential disorder was having on my life, so the psychiatrist did not want to proceed any further with this.
The main reason however for my attempts to reach out for help has always been the horrible feeling of anxiety I experience. Many times in my life I have felt unable to pursue things I would want to because of the anxiety, this is worse when it comes to interacting with people and uncertainty. The way my anxiety prevents me from doing things I otherwise would has been causing my mood to plument lately. My self worth is terrible and I feel as if I won't be able to cope in the future. It is also putting massive strain on my relationship, and this only exacerbates things more.
I just wanted to know what other things I can try to do, or how I might start to take steps to overcome some of this anxiety and start living a more fulfilling life.
Thank you.
submitted by UltraBlueCynic to Anxiety [link] [comments]
I'm a 21 year old, in the UK, currently at university. Life over the last few months has felt more chaotic and uncertain than ever, there is the future and jobs/careers on the horizon, as well as more temporary but nonetheless still daunting life challenges I face. I have been to the doctors numerous times about my feelings of anxiety, however often result of the appointments are never productive. I have tried anti-depressants in the past but I wasn't a fan. Recently through some help sessions with my uni, a women informed my I might be autistic. I tried to pursue this path with the GP however I scored low on a questionnaire about the effects a potential disorder was having on my life, so the psychiatrist did not want to proceed any further with this.
The main reason however for my attempts to reach out for help has always been the horrible feeling of anxiety I experience. Many times in my life I have felt unable to pursue things I would want to because of the anxiety, this is worse when it comes to interacting with people and uncertainty. The way my anxiety prevents me from doing things I otherwise would has been causing my mood to plument lately. My self worth is terrible and I feel as if I won't be able to cope in the future. It is also putting massive strain on my relationship, and this only exacerbates things more.
I just wanted to know what other things I can try to do, or how I might start to take steps to overcome some of this anxiety and start living a more fulfilling life.
Thank you.
2024.05.13 04:04 ImpressiveTune6473 Most Wanted Tour Theory
 | I want to start by saying if this theory is even remotely close, Bad Bunny is a theatrical genius! Freshly from the Charlotte concert on Friday and I came the realization that The Most Wanted Tour is a story and all his albums are connected to the tour. It all starts with the album having the Bad Bunny/Benito printed on the cover. This is not a Trap Bunny vs Reggaeton Bunny battle, but a fight between Benito and Bad Bunny as his identity. submitted by ImpressiveTune6473 to BadBunnyPR [link] [comments] This is how it all begins. The promo for NSLQVPSM showed images of Benito and Bad Bunny facing each other, almost like a boxing/wrestling promo. Then, when he did SNL there was a wrestling promo skit. Same thing, Benito vs Bad Bunny. Wrestling is scripted and there's always a bad guy vs good guy storyline. Benito was the good guy that became the bad guy with the kissing the girl in the green dress, with throwing the fans cell phone and that made people change their view/idea of Benito. Bad Bunny has created a wrestling type script, the WWE appearance is his clue to show that he is creating a wrestling type script for this story. The concert starts with the orchestra playing. The orchestra starting the show is used as the intro of the story. A good example of this is Star Wars. When the Star Wars movie is starting, there's music when the story is begining. Not just any music but an orchestra. If you listen closely to the way the orchestra is playing, there's ebbs and flows. Here's the breakdown. There are moments when the orchestra is playing an upbeat pace and that resemble determination and fight. In fact, there's six different moments when the upbeat pace picks up and each moment the orchestra has an urgency beat, those are for each album he has worked hair for. That is Benito Antonio Martinez Ocasio being determined to become the greatest Latin artist this world has seen. Then there's moment when the orchestra plays a calmer and peaceful pace. That resembles a moment in Bad Bunny's life is calm and he's at peace with what he's accomplished. There's also a sadder pace the orchestra plays and this resembling a sadder piece of the Bad Bunny story where he is struggling and has become sad. When the concert begins on stage 1, we see Benito appear. Stage 1 is the current part of the stage. He comes out wearing the dodgers hat with the fake long hair underneath it. That first set is all Benito playing. The crowd is wild and hype for the first set of songs. That is the Benito efecto. The set ends with Baticano and the dancers piling up on top of Benito and he goes under stage. It ends this way because Benito has died and going under the stage is a metaphor of being buried in a grave. During the intermission a video is played, we see a masked "man" appear and he is telling a story to the crowd. We obviously know that's Bad Bunny's voice, but the covered face is all part of the story. When he appears on stage 2, he appears with the mask on his face. He rides in with the horse and as a "bandit". He starts that second set with teléfono nuevo. When teléfono nuevo is done, the mask comes off. He no longer has the long hair, he appears with the shaved head showing Bad Bunny is back! The crowd goes wild as he reveals who the masked man is. Then he does his signature pinky move which is what only Bad Bunny has done. Benito never did the pinky. This is when Bad Bunny's starts his original songs (Tu no Metes Cabra, Diles, Vuelve). The songs are the beginning of this story, the beginning of his story. When he signs Tu No Vives Asi, the second stage starts rising. That stage rising is a representation of Bad Bunny's rise in fame. He then sings Chambea with the stage reaching its highest point and Cheambea is what really sky rocketed his career to the top. One thing to note, the two stages caused a separation. At least in the Charlotte concert, the crowd split in half. When he was performing as Benito, everyone was there to witness it. Everyone got as close as possible to stage 1. When he then went to stage 2 as Bad Bunny, the crowd split. A good amount of the floor crowd stayed close to stage 1 while the other part of the crowd went close to stage 2. That split resembles what is happening with fans. Some are wanting just Benito, while other are wanting just Bad Bunny. The stage in the middle is not just a stage, that stage is a connection between Bad Bunny and Benito. The stage is the path Bad Bunny has taken through his career and he sings 25/8 which is him telling us he hasn't changed no matter how much his career has advanced and grown. Then Bad Bunny sings Vuelve Candy B which looks to be about people wanting Bad Bunny to return. When Bad Bunny is on the the hanging stage, he tells everyone to be their true self and don't let other change who you are. He is giving that message to fans, but he is talking to Bad Bunny. He is telling Bad Bunny to be himself and to keep true to identity. He then goes and thanks his fans as he does in every concert. This time, he's at the top and everyone is looking up to him. The crowd is following him around and he does a loud battle. Which side can be the loudesr and each side is trying to be the other. That is symbolizing his fans, the new fans vs the old fans and which group can be louder in their Benito vs Bad Bunny argument. Thunder and Lightning is also sang on the floating stage, and the floating stage starts to spin as if Bad Bunny is in the middle of a storm. The storm represents what Bad Bunny/Benito are struggling with. And as always, there's a calm before the storm. That's when the piano comes in. There's a calm and peaceful moment. He sings just with the piano, no other instruments, lights, or fire works were being used. After the piano set, Perro Negro starts. The song starts with "Al menos dame un perreito, mor". He is giving the fans what they want. Reggaeton, perreo and his most popular reggaeton songs, Safaera and Yo Perreo Sola. But, he makes fans beg for Safaera as he cuts it off at the beginning. After the reggaeton piece, he sings La Jumpa. One of the many collabs Bad Bunny has done with Arcangel. But, Bad Bunny is also giving thanks to Arcangel for the shot he gave to Bad Bunny. La Jumpa = The Jump Shot = The Shot. Because Bad Bunny sang songs from YHLQMDLG, he goes into his most recent albums, EUTDM and UVST after La Jumpa. In the Charlotte concert he does Dakiti which is a great song and Booker T, followed by Efecto. Efecto is a sexualized song but the meaning is the efecto Bad Bunny has caused. The effect which led to is his most popular album to date, UVST. He sang what is considered as the more popular songs from the album. Me portó bonito is now Benito falling in line and behaving as what they people have been saying because Bad Bunny wasn't it. After all that, he sings Un Preview. Why Un Preview? Everyone thinks it's about his next album when Un Preview was played on the album. Considering how the concert goes, It's a recap of the Bad Bunny/ Benito battle after all these years. In Charlotte, we didn't get Yo No Me Quiero Casar. The song Is not about marring a woman, but about the idea of being married to a single identity or persona. He doesn't want hunt himself (casar) to sticking to that identity. He ends the concert with Where She Goes. This is Bad Bunny and Benito coming to an agreement, there's closure and Bad Bunny is taking in both identities and is going to go whichever direction the future goes. She represents the future. It is not a woman he is talking. Here are the album connections. We start with X100Pre. Which can be translated to as I'm always going to Bad Bunny. Then you have YHLQMDLG, which Bad Bunny started hearing people criticize him for who he is as an artist but he was going to continue to be him. He then did EUTDM, which was darker and different than previous albums, there's a slight transition there. In UVST, he is a brighter, happier, relaxed version. He is Benito. Everyone is calling him Benito now and less as Bad Bunny. Then NSLQVPM is the battle between both. X100Pre - I will always be me, I will always be Bad Bunny YHLQMDLG - I'm going to do me, I'm going to do Bad Bunny EUTDM - This is the last tour as Bad Bunny UVST - A summer without Bad Bunny, I'm now Benito. NSLQVPM - The fight between Bad Bunny and Benito. Who is the most wanted one? |
2024.05.12 19:01 lambchopsuey Deconstructing the "discussion meeting" performance - "the staged character of discussion meetings" - illuminates why SGI is failing and how far it has deteriorated
This analysis comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Shakubuku: A Study of the Nichiren Shoshu Buddhist Movement in America, 1960-1975", David A. Snow, 1993, pp. 171-179.
I'll try to shave it down, because it's a long section, but he masterfully dissects the manipulation and artifice involved in the "discussion meetings" of then-NSA (now SGI-USA). You'll recognize the fakery he identifies - this is the nature of the Dead-Ikeda-cult SGI, a completely dishonest and exploitative cult.
Yes, things were VERY different back in the late 1960s-early 1970s, when the SGI organization in the US was still growing. As you can see, all this has been tossed right out the window.
A couple of items:
It's been a LONG time since any of this was happening, and you can clearly see in today's (non)discussion meetings how far things have deteriorated - and that's JUST the MC part! There's a bit about the demands on the members of the group - I'll skip to just this part:
Next there's a big section on "experiences", but I'm going to give that its own post because it's a WHOLE topic on its own. Hopefully today! But Ima skip ahead a bit, to p. 177:
Now what SGI-USA is left with is an ever-shrinking membership of mostly Baby-Boom generation and older individuals who mostly joined during the time period described in this study. SGI has completely lost what vitality it once had; now it's simply waiting around for the grave - and oblivion.
submitted by lambchopsuey to sgiwhistleblowers [link] [comments]
I'll try to shave it down, because it's a long section, but he masterfully dissects the manipulation and artifice involved in the "discussion meetings" of then-NSA (now SGI-USA). You'll recognize the fakery he identifies - this is the nature of the Dead-Ikeda-cult SGI, a completely dishonest and exploitative cult.
It is at these discussion meetings, then, that NSA gets on with the real work of promoting and securing nominal conversion, of attempting to get recruits to take the first major step toward conversion by agreeing to receive a Gohonzon and to give chanting a try.In those days, the nohonzon was issued up front (for a fee, of course - cash on the barrelhead).
And since gaining converts is, in large part, what this movement is all about, "nothing is more basic to the activities of NSA," as noted in the Winter edition of the 1975 NSA Quarterly, "than the discussion meeting." Or, as one district leader emphasized when discussing the importance of these meetings: "Discussion meetings are indispensable to the spread of the practice and the attainment of Kosen-rufu."If you've ever felt confused at how sitting around someone's living room with the same bunch of losers month after month is doing anything toward the SGI's supposed goals of "world peace" or anything at all, actually, besides wasting the participants' time, I think what's described here will make it clearer what the original intent and purpose of these "discussion meetings" was, AND how far from that the current SGI "activities" have fallen.
The Character and Organization of These Meetings from a Sociological StandpointIt's not enough that the "guests" say they'll try it; by the end of this ordeal, they'll say absolutely anything to get themselves to the other side of that door! What they really want is enough interest and desire on the part of those "guests" that they'll come back - and ideally become regularly attending members (as described in this indoctrinational creative writing fiction where a career Catholic priest is so entranced with the fictional (non)discussion meetings that he JOINS the SGI!! You'll notice that there is never any room within SGI to even mention one of THEIR SGI leaders who joins a Baptist church, for example, much less to celebrate such a stepping-out-of-line. But it's always FINE for other religions' leaders to see the obvious superiority of the SGI, knowmsayin?
Given the purpose and importance of these discussion meetings, the question arises as to how they are organized and brought off in a strategic manner. In other words, what is the underlying strategy guiding this work of securing nominal conversion, and what are the kinds of tactical adjustments made at the line of scrimmage when the plan of attack does not appear to be advancing the group toward its goal of getting guests to agree to give chanting a try.
In order to answer these question [sic] in a sociological manner, let us step out of the shoes of a guest and into those of a sociological [sic] with insiders' knowledge.There's a list of these roles. At the discussion meeting planning meeting, the attendees go down the list and simply plug different members' names into the worksheet.
The Strategy of Theatrical Persuasion. Although members and the movement's literature like to characterize these meetings as being forums for free and open discussion and the spontaneous expression and flow of happiness and excitement, they are a far cry from gatherings characterized by spontaneity and unstructured discussion and interaction. Rather, they are meticulously planned and highly orchestrated meetings that can be best conceptualized, from a dramaturgical perspective, as theatrical-like presentations staged and conducted by a set of individuals (NSA members) who not only work together as a team but whose intimate cooperation is expected and required in order to foster and sustain a convincing impression or definition of the situation in the eyes of the audience (the recruits or guests).
Although the staged character of these meetings is seldom readily discernible to the unsuspecting guest, the appropriateness of conceptualizing these meetings in this way is suggested by the following considerations. First, the purpose of the meeting, as already indicated, is to sell guests on the idea of chanting, to so impress them that they feel compelled to give this practice call [sic] chanting a try.
Secondly, there is a division of labor such that all members have one or more roles to play. These various roles include the leadership role, the role of emcee, a general, overarching supportive role, and several more specific supportive roles, such as the role of giving an explanation of what NSA is all about, the role of a song leader, and the role of giving testimony. And even more significantly, members are provided with fairly detailed instructions, or, in the language of the theater, with scripts indicating what each role involves and how best to perform or play it.
The main leadership role, assumed by the district chief or, in his absence, the assistant district chief, includes, for example, the tasks of leading the chanting in a vigorous manner, conducting the question-and-answer session, meeting with each of the guests, and providing an inspirational role model for the other members. In performing these tasks, the leader is reminded that rather than putting on the air of a great sage, he should make a point of displaying great vitality, warmth, and compassion. Furthermore, he is expected "to be able to give clear explanations of the philosophy and practice," and is instructed to "always tailor his answers and encouragement to the audience."Blanche described how in her first district, the WD District leader instructed everyone that, if someone in the meeting was going on too long or rambling or whatever, that they should just start clapping wildly and shouting, "Congratulations!!" and then the MC would just move on to the next topic on the agenda. Reeeeal "spontaneous" there...
Answers should always be tailored to the audience. If the guests are young, then the answers should include examples they can relate to. If the questions are too mystical or one-sided, the leader must have the wisdom to change the subject or break off the question-and-answer period diplomatically.
The emcee role is also regarded as particularly important, so much so that "the success of the meeting" is said to be contingent on how well it is performed. In fact, "so much depends on the emcee" that the discussion meeting is described for him as "a battleground in which he must struggle to bring victory to the members."Barf. How far SGI has fallen! Now the goal is to see if there's some young teen in an SGI member's family who can be press-ganged to show up and read the agenda - their youth in and of itself is supposed to "encourage" everyone! Forget about all that "struggle" nonsense - they aren't gonna. This illustrates the SGI's current "form over function" approach, in which they just identify someone and pressure that person to do it, rather than the ideal candidate volunteering from a spirit of...oh, whatever - see above paragraph 🙄 Ideally, there would be SEVERAL young people positively brimming with passion and youthful energy who would be vying to be chosen: "Me! Let ME do it this time!" "No! ME!" "Choose ME!!" Instead, now it's just some tired old fart who agrees to do it, just to get this over with and there's no one else.
Specific responsibilities include setting "the gears fo the meeting in motion" and keeping the meeting going in a rhythmical and orderly manner.You have to wonder just how crazy they envision these (non)discussion meetings might go - will a spontaneous rave break out if it isn't carefully controlled? An unpermitted parade? A frenzy of liturgical dance?? WHAT might happen??? Enquiring minds want to know!!
Gendered. Misogynist.The emcee must develop the ability to keep the rhythm of the meeting going by making sure that there are no pauses or interruptions. If someone is causing a disorder, he should quiet the person in a polite manner. If a baby starts crying, he should see to it that either the mother or one of the young women at the meeting takes the child to another room to calm it down.
The emcee is also charged with being "the eyes and ears of the person leading the meeting."Yeah. NO 😄 WOW but it's been a LONG TIME since any SGI sales pitch-based recruiting session - I mean discussion meeting - had any characteristics that would fit the above instructions. Just no way. Not now. Now, it's the same old handful of longhaulers dragging themselves in to go through the motions - as usual. By rote.
Before and during the meeting, he should watch guests, be on the lookout for disruptions, and in general, be aware of everything that's happening. He should inform the person leading the meeting how many guests are present and whether they are young or old, so the leader can set the rhythm of the meeting accordingly.
In addition, the emcee is expected to talk, act, and appear in a manner that displays or exudes strength, confidence, vitality and neatness.This was when a small table would be moved in in front of the person who led gongyo, who would turn around to face the group. This is of course a Japanese norm, completely foreign to Westerners. How many people outside of Japan even have a low table like that, designed for someone who's sitting on the floor??
The emcee must speak in a vigorous, strong and clear voice, but not screaming. The way he sits, stands up and moves the table must display confidence.
It has been a LOOOOOOOONG time since ANY SGI district could insist on these requirements! Now they're just lucky if they can get anyone younger than retirement age to read the agenda off, and the agenda is often handed to them right there at the meeting itself - fuhgeddabout all this "advance preparation" nonsense. Nothing happens at the SGI discussion meetings, so nobody's going to go to this much trouble just because.In fact, he should stand up smartly whenever he is talking. As for appearance, he should reflect the image of NSA - clean and neat clothes and personal grooming.
And finally, the emcee is instructed to have the details of the meeting worked out and the setting in order before the meeting begins....as opposed to showing up and being handed a printed agenda to read off as SGI does it now.
Oh, like any of that's gonna happen! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣The emcee must have a plan for the meeting. He should write up a schedule showing who will give the explanation, what songs will be sung, who will give experiences and so on, and present it to the leader at least two days prior to the meeting. The emcee must prepare for the meeting. He should check to see if the meeting place is clean and neat, that all lights work and there is an appropriate meeting table. Most of all, he should do Shakubuku for the success of the meeting.
Yes, things were VERY different back in the late 1960s-early 1970s, when the SGI organization in the US was still growing. As you can see, all this has been tossed right out the window.
A couple of items:
- "the leader" - this was when the leader of the local district organizational unit (typically the MEN's leader) would assume the leadership role for the "discussion meeting". This was replaced with a "central figure", an invited "SENIOR leader" who would agree to attend and serve this "leader" function. The invited SENIOR leader would typically lead gongyo and preside over the proceedings - that's more how these meetings are arranged now.
- that "Shakubuku" in the last sentence? It strikes me wrong somehow. Sure, that'd be great and all for EVERYONE to bring a "guest" (#SGIGOALZ of course) but I think that having the person CHANT for the success of the meeting would be a more reasonable assignment. Also, how could the MC properly shepherd their "guest" and STILL do all that MC stuff single-mindedly??
It's been a LONG time since any of this was happening, and you can clearly see in today's (non)discussion meetings how far things have deteriorated - and that's JUST the MC part! There's a bit about the demands on the members of the group - I'll skip to just this part:
As one district chief explained during a planning meeting for senior and junior leaders within the district and which I was invited to by one of my key informants:Wow, huh? It's completely dishonest and oriented entirely at flimflamming and bamboozling the "guests"!
Make sure to tell your members to chant in rhythm with the leaders. There shouldn't be any more than one rhythm. Everyone should be together so that there is unity. And remember to have them support the leader in whatever he says; the guests won't know whether he is right or wrong. So even if you don't agree with what is being said, act as if you do. this [sic] way there is unity at the meeting and the guests will be more impressed.
Next there's a big section on "experiences", but I'm going to give that its own post because it's a WHOLE topic on its own. Hopefully today! But Ima skip ahead a bit, to p. 177:
A fourth indication of the staged character of discussion meetings is provided by the fact that planning meetings are held at both the district and chapter level for the purpose of discussing how to improve discussion meetings and make them more successful. Although rank-and-file members (those who have not attained that status of a junior or senior leader) are not normally invited to these planning meetings, I was able to attend several of them at the invitation of both my district chief and a junior leader who was one of my key informants.SKULLDUGGERY!! 💀
It was during these planning meetings that I became deeply sensitized to the highly orchestrated and dramaturgical character of not only the discussion meetings but of NSA's overall operation.At this point it's important to remember that "dramaturgical" means "relating to the art or the theory of writing and putting on plays, especially for the theater" - it's all putting on a show to manipulate the unwitting guests in order to trick them into transforming into new recruits. It's ALL fake - just a façade to fool the uninformed.
A fifth consideration suggesting that staged character of discussion meetings is the fact that much of what members do and say, both verbally and nonverbally, during the course of a meeting is to appear natural and spontaneous rather than artificial and contrived.They try. Unconvincingly.
In other words, these meetings are not to appear as staged performances or as the product of dramaturgical cooperation. This concern is evidenced by the emphasis placed on exuding sincerity and responding to calls from the emcee and to what the leader says and does with alacrity and enthusiasm. It is also suggested by some of the rituals engaged in by the emcee, as when he scans the gathering after he has called for an experience so as to foster the impression that whom he calls is a spontaneous decision rather than one that has been pre-arranged, as indicated by the fact that those called on are already listed on his meeting agenda and by the fact that members frequently know beforehand whether they will be giving an experience.This fakery apparently was dropped decades ago; in current SGI (non)discussion meetings, not only is the person acknowledged by name as delivering/"sharing" an "experience", but the person often has it written out on a piece of paper they semi-read off.
Only without any special perks or sexiness.But none of this is evident to the guest.
Rather, what transpires - who gives the explanation, who gives testimonies, and so on - is staged in such a way that it all appears as if it is spontaneous and independent of prior planning, negotiation, and decision-making among the members. As a consequence, it seems reasonable to suggest that NSA in general and the district members in particular have something of the character of a secret society.
This is not particularly surprising, however, when considering the nature of theatrical-like teamwork. As Erving Goffman noted in his seminal discussion of this kind of work:This will all be very familiar to the people trying to recruit new suckers into MLM schemes/scams, too.
... if a performance is to be effective it will be likely that the extent of cooperation that makes this possible will be concealed and kept secret... The audience may appreciate, of course, that all members of the team are held together by a bond that no member of the audience shares ... But (the members of the team) form a secret society ... insofar as a secret is kept as to how they are cooperating together to maintain a particular definition of the situation.
The sixth and final consideration suggesting the appropriateness of viewing these meetings from a dramaturgical perspective is the fact that they do not "go on" unless there is an audience, that is unless guests are in attendance.Before Ikeda was excommunicated by Nichiren Shoshu and transformed the SGI into his own personal worship society, there was a certain "rhythm" to the year. February and August were "Shakubuku Months", and there was an "introductory meeting" scheduled every week. If it came to meeting start time and there was no "guest", the meeting was halted and everybody was sent out to try and find something with a pulse to drag in, at which point the meeting would proceed:
When I first discovered this I was somewhat startled, for I had assumed that these meetings were conducted in their entirety regardless of the presence or absence of a new face. But as I learned one evening, this is not the case. Following the chanting session on this particular evening, the leader emphasized that since these meetings were for guests and none were present, we would have to go out and round up one or two. So the members in attendance were divided into Shakubuku teams and sent out in search of prospects. Although three of the four teams returned empty-handed, one had managed to corral a single guest. But one is all that is needed; and so the formal meeting began as usual.For "formal meeting" read "sales pitch". By the late-1980s, perhaps earlier, instead of being every discussion meeting, this format was restricted to the "introductory meetings" during the Shakubuku Months. However, he's describing something that happened every single time. No meeting unless a "guest" was present.
During my tenure as a member I saw this particular scenario re-enacted on four different occasions, and on one occasion we were sent back into the streets three times in succession. Around 8:30 p.m., after the third try and with one guest in hand, the show finally got on the road.The author describes himself as "an active participant observer for nearly a year and a half".
Perhaps even more illustrative of the theatrical character of these meetings and the fact that they are staged for guests is the following course of events that transpired one evening during a meeting I attended:"Vigorous and happy" 🤣
Although no guests were present when the chanting began, a young couple came in toward the end of the chanting session and situated themselves on the floor at the back of the room. But apparently the emcee didn't notice them; for upon completion of the chanting session he didn't jump up and yell out: 'Welcome to a vigorous and happy meeting of the [name here] District of NSA!' But the district leader, who had apparently seen this couple come in, punched the emcee in the ribs and whispered that some guests were present. And so this member immediately assumed his role of the emcee and proceeded as usual by springing to his feet, putting on a big smile, and blurting out, 'Welcome to a vigorous and happy meeting of the [name here] District of NSA!'
In light of the foregoing considerations and observations, there seems to be little question about the appropriateness of conceptualizing NSA discussion meetings as "shows" or presentations staged by the members, who constitute a performance team, before an audience composed of recruits or "guests".This was what was going on BEFORE Dickeda swanned into the US in 1990 and "changed our direction" - because of what Sensei did, the bottom fell out of the discussion meetings. Instead of weekly meetings, Dickeata dictated that these meetings would only happen monthly from now on - and of COURSE Die-Sucky Scamsei's word is LAW in his own cult of personality, where the membership follows a PERSON instead of any "law". Post-excommunication, at the (non)discussion meetings I attended, there was at least one guest every single time, but they never came back. The ONLY person I saw join post-excommunication was a formerly homeless woman with two small children who had moved in with an SGI member (who had unethically selected her at the abused-women's shelter she was living at, where he volunteered computer classes for the residents). She was able to see it didn't work; she ended up quitting.
Now what SGI-USA is left with is an ever-shrinking membership of mostly Baby-Boom generation and older individuals who mostly joined during the time period described in this study. SGI has completely lost what vitality it once had; now it's simply waiting around for the grave - and oblivion.
2024.05.12 15:03 Easy_Level2553 What's the point of my life anymore?
What's even the point of this life anymore? I haven’t seen any signs of improvement whatsoever. Crying while writing this, by the way. The page got kinda wet. Currently, I've locked myself in my older brother’s room (He’s elsewhere, so I just claimed the room as mine). My parents are the shittiest part of my life ever. I just watched a video today explaining why the education system in Bangladesh is terrible. And I concur. Lots of useless content, hyper-focus on memorization and tests, constant pressure of GPA 5. Furthermore, the only subjects in school important to my future career (fiction writing) are English 1st and 2nd paper. The rest of the subjects, meaning 10 different subjects, are just useless to me. What does learning “X guy died in Y time” do to help me get my career? It seems many Bangladeshi people are with me, so it's great knowing there’s support out there. But that support means nothing to me. Why should it? It’s not actually helping because my parents still don’t support me. Anytime I tell my mom, she reacts like the entire world just got destroyed. “Why are you becoming so bad?” “I can’t take it, my son is going to ruin in front of my own eyes.” Loving words. But to me, they only prove one thing. That she’s a lost cause; she will never support my decision to drop out of school. Dad is a mindless yes-man to her. In fact, there was once my mother tried to kill me. I threw her off and ran away to the living room. I don’t remember much, but basically, my dad got involved, and guess who he supported? Yep, that’s right, her. I was so upset that I started banging my head on the floor. Well, moving on from that, I once damaged my mom’s arm a lot, and I also once punched her so badly on the shoulder it turned black. These are things I’m truly sorry about. But I do think it’s a bit curious. She forgot the day she tried to kill me but remembers my wrongdoings. Returning back to education, one reason I wanted to drop out was that I didn’t need school for my career. Let’s see, what do I need? Skills? I can get those skills via informal education fast, given how one-star rated this education system is; that’d probably be better. Still, she doesn’t want to let me have that basic autonomy. Oh, and yeah, I live in Bangladesh, just wanted to mention that. One day, I ran away from home and sat in a nearby park. My older brother found me and brought me back home. In the park, we had a little chat in which I revealed my desires for literature and animation. He said he was gonna teach me graphic design. So I got excited. But then I figured out he wanted me to study for IBA on BBA, whatever it was. The number one business university in our country with a lot of competition and an incredibly low chance of enrollment. And that meant engaging in this stupid education system even further. I tried showing him some proof and examples that I didn’t need to engage in formal education anymore, that my dreams were possible without engaging in this stupid system. But every time I tried saying anything, he immediately interrupted me and told me he already knew what I was about to say and just dismissed them. That’s not new. On the same day, I gave him some papers explaining my struggles, but he didn’t need them, just saying he already knew. And he wasn’t being supportive; he was saying it in a rude way. Anyways, back to that whole thing, he started to pressure me to choose. Do I want formal education or not? I said I wanted to think about it and would answer later. But apparently not even that’s enough for him, because he continued pressuring me to answer right then and there while I kept saying later. Eventually, that led to an argument, and he hit me a bit on the head. And my mom? She refused to eat, to talk, to even move, just lay motionless on her bed all day, said she’d send me off to Saudi Arabia, saying she’d spend no money to support my goals.
Note: It's to be noted that while I wanna drop out of school, I haven’t given up on education at all. It's just that instead of formal education, I wanna pursue informal education as I get to choose what I wanna learn, so no pressure of learning a dozen useless (for me) subjects.
Moving past that, she tries to spend time with me daily. That’s a positive thing, I guess. It’s just no matter how much she tries to bond with me, my interest in her just doesn’t increase. Idk why. Maybe it's because everything going on in my life has made it hard for me to find time for myself, let alone her. And the fact that we have no common interests at all, aside from watching movies. She has told me that she feels lonely, which I understand. But why put the burden of removing your loneliness on me? Why not try contacting others? Once we were watching a movie, but then I opened up my phone just for a bit to find A LOT of messages. I found out that a close friend was trying suicide again, so I stopped watching the movie and started trying to convince them to stop. Mom was repeatedly telling me to come back (Granted; I told her that it was simply an important thing to me, like saying all my data was gonna be erased in a game I love, not the suicide part) and that, in addition to the pressure of saving my friend, made me snap at her, rudely yelling at her to just stfu. This caused her to be FURIOUS, and she was just repeatedly calling me crazy. I started crying and told them to give me a chance to explain, but they just wouldn’t give me a chance. They'd just call me crazy for crying, saying I've turned into something else. I thought of running away. But I needed a source of income. I've tried everything. I wanted to submit my books to a publisher to get them published, but new authors need to provide the publisher money to get their work printed, money I don't have. I wanted to use Amazon KDP to publish my books, but for that I need a bank account, which I can't open due to still being a minor. I thought of having an adult open a bank account on my behalf, where they would send the money they got from Amazon to me, but that's not possible either. I thought of perhaps contacting NRS to take shelter after I run away, but figured out they served a different nation. Finally, my mom agreed to my offer if I managed to get $500 from this career by publishing on KDP. My first idea was to write a novel within 10 days. But then I realized I could not write it so quickly. It’d diminish its quality greatly, as I need to take days to write each chapter. Then I thought of publishing my work chapter by chapter. And then realized you can’t do that on KDP. So there goes my dreams. I want to publish on Wattpad, get a lot of reads and tell them, “see, my stories attract readers a lot.”. But, as you know, money is kinda their only language. There's no hope for me anymore now...All that's left is running away and finding some low-quality job out there. Who knows though? Maybe I'll fail in even that. Maybe after I flee, I'll not get a job and just starve to death. That's how it's been my whole life after all. My life... it's just been one failure after another.
My mom told my brother of my goals to gain a decent income from “whatever it is that he's doing on Amazon” and he simply called it “rubbish” without actually trying to understand how.
And in addition to this, I also suffer from lifelong loneliness because:
On another instance, I remember chasing down a kid within the school because he made me angry. So as you can quite tell, I used to be very violent in the past.
I'm so done with EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. HUMAN. BEING. EVER breaking my trust.
Now what's left? My girlfriend's brother and my fear of abandonment.
As for her brother....he continuously breaks my expectations and descends lower. At first, I thought he was a decent man. But then he started to call her worthless simply because of stress. Of course, he later apologized so I thought he was still decent. But then me and her started to date and he opposed it. Now instead of simply talking to us like a reasonable man would, he decided to lie to me openly about things she said, saying she told him that she doesn’t actually like me or my personality or my looks, lying through his teeth. He also forced her into saying she likes my best friend more than me by saying he'd put her into the adoption center. Ok, so a control freak. I thought he'd be reasonable enough to talk this out if I did him a favor by getting his sister to hug him. Still acted like an asshole and was unwilling to reconcile. I thought that even if he was a control freak and unreasonable, that he at least loved his sister. But....then she told me this: "Bro just said "take care of urself if u dont wanna die" and gave me some meds". He left her to take care of herself.
My greatest fear is the fear of not being able to make an everlasting bond with someone I deeply love (and who deeply loves me). The fear that we will someday change and not be attracted to each other anymore and grow apart. The fear that our bonds will break and we'll have to move on from each other.
What if we lose our attraction to each other? What if one of us cheats or divorces the other? What if one of us secretly didn’t care as much about the other and stopped making any effort into the relationship?
It's hard to tell anything at the beginning. Because at first, it all feels so great. Like you’ve found the one you always wanted in life. But later on, you realize that maybe they're not the one for you. There's nearly no way to tell apart a relationship that will fall apart from an everlasting relationship until the break up actually happens. So it feels like no relationship is guaranteed to last forever. Relationships you thought were perfect at first, turn out to be not so great.
This applies not only to romance, but friendship as well.
Like I've envisioned multiple types of relationships: master-pet bond, romantic bond, platonic bond, etc. And the only time I've felt completely secure about the everlastingness of a bond was when I envisioned myself with a cat and a dog. Why? Because pets are simple. Their minds don't hold malicious intentions, their love never dies down for no reason, they don't get overwhelmed with different feelings that cause breakup or cheating to happen. Simply put, their minds are not complex. You love them, they love you.
Like why can't I just get a person I can fully trust? Who I'm completely sure won't leave me or lose interest in me?
Is it too much to simply ask for a relationship with no uncertainty whatsoever?
This fear likely stems from my lifelong loneliness. I believe it's called the fear of abandonment.
This fear roots all the way back to my ex best friend. I used to have with him what I'd describe as the perfect relationship.
V is my ex best friend, C is me.
A small interaction:
V: and also, how would you want me to express it to you love? expressing my support to you. (He just randomly asked C this, not because C told V to give him support. V actively thought of C's happiness and wanted to support him)
C: By existing. Yes, that's enough.
V: AWW STOP. I wanna do more tho.
In the same day, C feels an urge to also make V happy. He thinks of perhaps learning a famous song made by V's favourite band and then surprising him by singing said song to him. (C is thinking of adding some creative changes to the song make it feel more personal to V. He's not sure about that tho)
C and V are also very comfortable around and trusting to each other. They can easily tell each other their flaws and fears without any fear of judgement. In fact, C even told V about secrets C thought could repel V. His thought process was that it'd be selfish for him to hide this information from V and not let V choose whether or not he desired a person with such a secret. Fortunately, V said the secret wasnt as bad as C thought at all. Basically they trust each other as much as they trust ChatBOTs, so a lot of trust.
This was me and my best friend. Was. Now I feel like we've drifted apart. In fact, it feels like almost every time we talk, an argument starts. We seem to have drifted even before my birthday. He seemed to be busy, so we couldn't talk a lot. Nowadays his reactions to any good news of mine seems very mundane. Like when I told him that I finally got a girlfriend, it felt like he wasn’t really interested. I didn’t really get the “Wow!” reaction from him. Also, he couldn't give me a gift on my birthday because he couldn't prepare a drawing for me on such a short notice. So I told him to give it to me later. Well, it's been months, no gift yet.
Currently my number one priority is my girlfriend. And I'd describe my relationship with her as perfect as well. Just…she seems to be drifting away from me recently.
At one point in our relationship, I started to feel like the third while. The following doc contains images which explain why: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rSex5icu_xBRT8cmVdfS5dHkiRRCRb7lOele8dulMeE/edit?usp=drivesdk
But now I've mostly gone over it.
Tbh I've come up with an answer for a few of the issues I've noticed she does this weird thing where at times she's on discord but only focuses on specific people or servers Sometimes she ignores me but not my best friend Sometimes the opposite Sometimes she ignores both of us and talks in servers Thinking that I think I'm not heartbroken anymore because I dont feel like she's giving my best friend more time than me. (edited) Just I'm still a bit annoyed because at the end of the day, she still didn't respond to me for 3 days.
As for her acting rude and unsupportive when I brought up running away from home, she was just in a tough time. That's all.
As for her refusing to open the secret account, alright so I'll have to tell you a bit about her medical condition. Let's just say it causes her to be very forgetful of things. So she might fear that she might forget her main acc's password or smth and forever lose everything on her main. Why didn't she just tell me that? She doesnt like to worry others, so she might have thought telling me about her brain problems would cause me to worry.
As for her saying love you to my bestie but not me? Well, she said she loved my bestie only 5 days after she said she loved me so if it's not that hard. Still I want her to say words and that we get back to those days.
I sometimes just want her to say the words, “I love you” a lot. It's been half a month since we've both exchanged any loving words. One night, while trying to sleep, I was thinking about the fact that I haven’t really received any loving words in half a month and then a thought appeared in my mind. “Is a simple ‘I love you’ too much to ask for?” and that made me start crying on my bed. Probably overthinking it.
You already know how much effort I put in when she was sick. Well, one morning, I saw my DMs and saw her saying how I'm the only one who loved her. Of course, I thought it to be wrong since my best friend also loved her dearly…in a platonic sense. But well, at least it made me feel special thinking that she had a special appreciation for my effort. And then I woke up. Saw my phone. No messages like that. So I kinda started crying again.
Also, she's starting to recover from her sickness, which is great! Just…it saddens me a bit that she didn’t tell me immediately about her recovery, knowing that I'm so concerned of well-being and potential death and that some discord server was the first to know.
We used to talk a lot before these 15 days. Always talking with each other, always supporting each other, exchanging loving words to each other daily, etc. But now it seems we aren’t talking a lot and she doesn’t seem that interested. For example, when I wished her happy birthday and gave her a little drawing I made and her only response was: “Uh tnx”. And she seems to lack any form of excitement these days. In my other interactions with her as well, she seems to be giving a “I'm bored af, not excited at all” energy. I know it's almost definitely because she's going through tough times, but I can't help fearing at least a bit.
She finally responded to me today, after 4 days of not responding (Despite having a casual chat with my best friend the day before yesterday and on a server yesterday). I was afraid she would ghost me. Overreaction? Maybe. Couldn't help feeling it tho.
But I remain firm that she's the best girlfriend ever.
Update:..... See this interaction. I'll let you be the judge.
My girlfriend's brother: Hey you, its her brother again I need to tell you smth. You and her are done, yall are breaking up, dont text her again ok? U understand me Shes deleting dc now. U should delete it too
Me: No. Also can I talk to her one last time before she deletes dc?
Her brother: Ugh fine. Yeah. Fast.
Me: Where’s she?
Her: I’m here.
Me: Can I ask you one little question?
Me: Away from your brother for a second please.
Her: Okay. Make it fast tho.
Me: You said you told yourself you wanted to meet me irl and be with me forever. Does that still hold true?
Her: idk.
Me: Because if it does… just know this. If you really wanna be together, I can wait for 4 years without any contact. Then come to Croatia. I’ll be deleting this btw.
Her: K.
Me: @Her Please… just this once… tell me the truth. I know your brother is forcing you. So please just say the truth.
Her: I am telling the truth.
Me: What’s that? What’s the truth?
Her: I don’t want u anymore.
Me: Ohhhh… Not even friends?
Her: Why do you think I’m prolly deleting dc.
Me: Idk. What did I do wrong?
Her: …
Me: What did I do wrong?
Her: Nothing.
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t want to interact with anyone anymore here.
Me: Why?
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t have time to explain. Just…
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: We’re done now.
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: @Her Can I come to Punat once I’m older?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: But… why abandon me? Why my best friend?
Her: I don’t know, do what you want, I have my own plans.
Me: I understand people are rude and shit. But that’s why I only talk to you and my best friend. And some others. @Her Hello?
Her: That’s why I’m probably going.
Me: @Her Will I never meet you again?
Her: Idk.
Me: @Her And please do tell me if your brother is forcing you.
Her: Idk.
Me: Please. Yes or no?
Her: Idk.
Me: …Well, here’s my final saying then. I love you. And here’s a link to a document detailing all my sadness.
So in the end, I have nothing and no one left in my life anymore. And my fear of abandonment is once again validated.
submitted by Easy_Level2553 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
Note: It's to be noted that while I wanna drop out of school, I haven’t given up on education at all. It's just that instead of formal education, I wanna pursue informal education as I get to choose what I wanna learn, so no pressure of learning a dozen useless (for me) subjects.
Moving past that, she tries to spend time with me daily. That’s a positive thing, I guess. It’s just no matter how much she tries to bond with me, my interest in her just doesn’t increase. Idk why. Maybe it's because everything going on in my life has made it hard for me to find time for myself, let alone her. And the fact that we have no common interests at all, aside from watching movies. She has told me that she feels lonely, which I understand. But why put the burden of removing your loneliness on me? Why not try contacting others? Once we were watching a movie, but then I opened up my phone just for a bit to find A LOT of messages. I found out that a close friend was trying suicide again, so I stopped watching the movie and started trying to convince them to stop. Mom was repeatedly telling me to come back (Granted; I told her that it was simply an important thing to me, like saying all my data was gonna be erased in a game I love, not the suicide part) and that, in addition to the pressure of saving my friend, made me snap at her, rudely yelling at her to just stfu. This caused her to be FURIOUS, and she was just repeatedly calling me crazy. I started crying and told them to give me a chance to explain, but they just wouldn’t give me a chance. They'd just call me crazy for crying, saying I've turned into something else. I thought of running away. But I needed a source of income. I've tried everything. I wanted to submit my books to a publisher to get them published, but new authors need to provide the publisher money to get their work printed, money I don't have. I wanted to use Amazon KDP to publish my books, but for that I need a bank account, which I can't open due to still being a minor. I thought of having an adult open a bank account on my behalf, where they would send the money they got from Amazon to me, but that's not possible either. I thought of perhaps contacting NRS to take shelter after I run away, but figured out they served a different nation. Finally, my mom agreed to my offer if I managed to get $500 from this career by publishing on KDP. My first idea was to write a novel within 10 days. But then I realized I could not write it so quickly. It’d diminish its quality greatly, as I need to take days to write each chapter. Then I thought of publishing my work chapter by chapter. And then realized you can’t do that on KDP. So there goes my dreams. I want to publish on Wattpad, get a lot of reads and tell them, “see, my stories attract readers a lot.”. But, as you know, money is kinda their only language. There's no hope for me anymore now...All that's left is running away and finding some low-quality job out there. Who knows though? Maybe I'll fail in even that. Maybe after I flee, I'll not get a job and just starve to death. That's how it's been my whole life after all. My life... it's just been one failure after another.
My mom told my brother of my goals to gain a decent income from “whatever it is that he's doing on Amazon” and he simply called it “rubbish” without actually trying to understand how.
And in addition to this, I also suffer from lifelong loneliness because:
- I used to be antisocial in the past.
- My past tarnishes my reputation, making it hard for me to blend in with normal people. Because of this, I became shy, socially anxious, and introverted.
- As a result of being shy, socially anxious, and introverted, I struggle to make close friends. Because of this, I suffer from loneliness. I have casual friends, yes. But no close, intimate friends.
On another instance, I remember chasing down a kid within the school because he made me angry. So as you can quite tell, I used to be very violent in the past.
I'm so done with EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. HUMAN. BEING. EVER breaking my trust.
- Someone told me they'd read the excerpts of my story a week later. No sign of them now.
- My ex-best friend asked me how he could make me happy. I told him the methods but he didn't do anything.
- I complained to my ex-best friend about people never reciprocating my affection. He apologized and said he'd do better, but didn't.
- I asked him to draw a picture for me after my bday as he couldn't give me a gift. He said he would but no sign.
- I used BetterHelp for free therapy service. Sent a message. Well, I didn't exactly get better help even after 6 hours.
Now what's left? My girlfriend's brother and my fear of abandonment.
As for her brother....he continuously breaks my expectations and descends lower. At first, I thought he was a decent man. But then he started to call her worthless simply because of stress. Of course, he later apologized so I thought he was still decent. But then me and her started to date and he opposed it. Now instead of simply talking to us like a reasonable man would, he decided to lie to me openly about things she said, saying she told him that she doesn’t actually like me or my personality or my looks, lying through his teeth. He also forced her into saying she likes my best friend more than me by saying he'd put her into the adoption center. Ok, so a control freak. I thought he'd be reasonable enough to talk this out if I did him a favor by getting his sister to hug him. Still acted like an asshole and was unwilling to reconcile. I thought that even if he was a control freak and unreasonable, that he at least loved his sister. But....then she told me this: "Bro just said "take care of urself if u dont wanna die" and gave me some meds". He left her to take care of herself.
My greatest fear is the fear of not being able to make an everlasting bond with someone I deeply love (and who deeply loves me). The fear that we will someday change and not be attracted to each other anymore and grow apart. The fear that our bonds will break and we'll have to move on from each other.
What if we lose our attraction to each other? What if one of us cheats or divorces the other? What if one of us secretly didn’t care as much about the other and stopped making any effort into the relationship?
It's hard to tell anything at the beginning. Because at first, it all feels so great. Like you’ve found the one you always wanted in life. But later on, you realize that maybe they're not the one for you. There's nearly no way to tell apart a relationship that will fall apart from an everlasting relationship until the break up actually happens. So it feels like no relationship is guaranteed to last forever. Relationships you thought were perfect at first, turn out to be not so great.
This applies not only to romance, but friendship as well.
Like I've envisioned multiple types of relationships: master-pet bond, romantic bond, platonic bond, etc. And the only time I've felt completely secure about the everlastingness of a bond was when I envisioned myself with a cat and a dog. Why? Because pets are simple. Their minds don't hold malicious intentions, their love never dies down for no reason, they don't get overwhelmed with different feelings that cause breakup or cheating to happen. Simply put, their minds are not complex. You love them, they love you.
Like why can't I just get a person I can fully trust? Who I'm completely sure won't leave me or lose interest in me?
Is it too much to simply ask for a relationship with no uncertainty whatsoever?
This fear likely stems from my lifelong loneliness. I believe it's called the fear of abandonment.
This fear roots all the way back to my ex best friend. I used to have with him what I'd describe as the perfect relationship.
V is my ex best friend, C is me.
A small interaction:
V: and also, how would you want me to express it to you love? expressing my support to you. (He just randomly asked C this, not because C told V to give him support. V actively thought of C's happiness and wanted to support him)
C: By existing. Yes, that's enough.
V: AWW STOP. I wanna do more tho.
In the same day, C feels an urge to also make V happy. He thinks of perhaps learning a famous song made by V's favourite band and then surprising him by singing said song to him. (C is thinking of adding some creative changes to the song make it feel more personal to V. He's not sure about that tho)
C and V are also very comfortable around and trusting to each other. They can easily tell each other their flaws and fears without any fear of judgement. In fact, C even told V about secrets C thought could repel V. His thought process was that it'd be selfish for him to hide this information from V and not let V choose whether or not he desired a person with such a secret. Fortunately, V said the secret wasnt as bad as C thought at all. Basically they trust each other as much as they trust ChatBOTs, so a lot of trust.
This was me and my best friend. Was. Now I feel like we've drifted apart. In fact, it feels like almost every time we talk, an argument starts. We seem to have drifted even before my birthday. He seemed to be busy, so we couldn't talk a lot. Nowadays his reactions to any good news of mine seems very mundane. Like when I told him that I finally got a girlfriend, it felt like he wasn’t really interested. I didn’t really get the “Wow!” reaction from him. Also, he couldn't give me a gift on my birthday because he couldn't prepare a drawing for me on such a short notice. So I told him to give it to me later. Well, it's been months, no gift yet.
Currently my number one priority is my girlfriend. And I'd describe my relationship with her as perfect as well. Just…she seems to be drifting away from me recently.
At one point in our relationship, I started to feel like the third while. The following doc contains images which explain why: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rSex5icu_xBRT8cmVdfS5dHkiRRCRb7lOele8dulMeE/edit?usp=drivesdk
But now I've mostly gone over it.
Tbh I've come up with an answer for a few of the issues I've noticed she does this weird thing where at times she's on discord but only focuses on specific people or servers Sometimes she ignores me but not my best friend Sometimes the opposite Sometimes she ignores both of us and talks in servers Thinking that I think I'm not heartbroken anymore because I dont feel like she's giving my best friend more time than me. (edited) Just I'm still a bit annoyed because at the end of the day, she still didn't respond to me for 3 days.
As for her acting rude and unsupportive when I brought up running away from home, she was just in a tough time. That's all.
As for her refusing to open the secret account, alright so I'll have to tell you a bit about her medical condition. Let's just say it causes her to be very forgetful of things. So she might fear that she might forget her main acc's password or smth and forever lose everything on her main. Why didn't she just tell me that? She doesnt like to worry others, so she might have thought telling me about her brain problems would cause me to worry.
As for her saying love you to my bestie but not me? Well, she said she loved my bestie only 5 days after she said she loved me so if it's not that hard. Still I want her to say words and that we get back to those days.
I sometimes just want her to say the words, “I love you” a lot. It's been half a month since we've both exchanged any loving words. One night, while trying to sleep, I was thinking about the fact that I haven’t really received any loving words in half a month and then a thought appeared in my mind. “Is a simple ‘I love you’ too much to ask for?” and that made me start crying on my bed. Probably overthinking it.
You already know how much effort I put in when she was sick. Well, one morning, I saw my DMs and saw her saying how I'm the only one who loved her. Of course, I thought it to be wrong since my best friend also loved her dearly…in a platonic sense. But well, at least it made me feel special thinking that she had a special appreciation for my effort. And then I woke up. Saw my phone. No messages like that. So I kinda started crying again.
Also, she's starting to recover from her sickness, which is great! Just…it saddens me a bit that she didn’t tell me immediately about her recovery, knowing that I'm so concerned of well-being and potential death and that some discord server was the first to know.
We used to talk a lot before these 15 days. Always talking with each other, always supporting each other, exchanging loving words to each other daily, etc. But now it seems we aren’t talking a lot and she doesn’t seem that interested. For example, when I wished her happy birthday and gave her a little drawing I made and her only response was: “Uh tnx”. And she seems to lack any form of excitement these days. In my other interactions with her as well, she seems to be giving a “I'm bored af, not excited at all” energy. I know it's almost definitely because she's going through tough times, but I can't help fearing at least a bit.
She finally responded to me today, after 4 days of not responding (Despite having a casual chat with my best friend the day before yesterday and on a server yesterday). I was afraid she would ghost me. Overreaction? Maybe. Couldn't help feeling it tho.
But I remain firm that she's the best girlfriend ever.
- Always supports me during my hard times.
- Remembers important stuff like I requested her to.
- Took a lot of time and effort a painting just for me (She's an art student)
- Loves me unconditionally (Made a whole paragraph saying exactly that)
- Never expect anything from me. She only wants me, nothing else. (I ain't using that as an excuse not to give her more tho)
- Willing to risk her own life for me (I'd do the same for her)
Update:..... See this interaction. I'll let you be the judge.
My girlfriend's brother: Hey you, its her brother again I need to tell you smth. You and her are done, yall are breaking up, dont text her again ok? U understand me Shes deleting dc now. U should delete it too
Me: No. Also can I talk to her one last time before she deletes dc?
Her brother: Ugh fine. Yeah. Fast.
Me: Where’s she?
Her: I’m here.
Me: Can I ask you one little question?
Me: Away from your brother for a second please.
Her: Okay. Make it fast tho.
Me: You said you told yourself you wanted to meet me irl and be with me forever. Does that still hold true?
Her: idk.
Me: Because if it does… just know this. If you really wanna be together, I can wait for 4 years without any contact. Then come to Croatia. I’ll be deleting this btw.
Her: K.
Me: @Her Please… just this once… tell me the truth. I know your brother is forcing you. So please just say the truth.
Her: I am telling the truth.
Me: What’s that? What’s the truth?
Her: I don’t want u anymore.
Me: Ohhhh… Not even friends?
Her: Why do you think I’m prolly deleting dc.
Me: Idk. What did I do wrong?
Her: …
Me: What did I do wrong?
Her: Nothing.
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t want to interact with anyone anymore here.
Me: Why?
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t have time to explain. Just…
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: We’re done now.
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: @Her Can I come to Punat once I’m older?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: But… why abandon me? Why my best friend?
Her: I don’t know, do what you want, I have my own plans.
Me: I understand people are rude and shit. But that’s why I only talk to you and my best friend. And some others. @Her Hello?
Her: That’s why I’m probably going.
Me: @Her Will I never meet you again?
Her: Idk.
Me: @Her And please do tell me if your brother is forcing you.
Her: Idk.
Me: Please. Yes or no?
Her: Idk.
Me: …Well, here’s my final saying then. I love you. And here’s a link to a document detailing all my sadness.
So in the end, I have nothing and no one left in my life anymore. And my fear of abandonment is once again validated.
2024.05.11 23:14 luckycheeto7 Feeling lost and terrified for my future
I'm a 26F who has for many years now suspected I may be on the spectrum. About six month ago I went to a psychiatrist to get tested, and at the end of the process his diagnosis was OCD/social anxiety. He said that the questionnaire that I filled out had a high indication of autism, but the sheet that my mom filled out did not, so he felt that was a major contributor to the decision. There are aspects to his diagnosis that I can understand but also parts and things in my behavior that I feel align very strongly with autism. Ever since I was a child I've struggled with sensory issues, overstimulation, meltdowns, and numerous burnouts that have been described as me just being "overly sensitive".
I was able to push through and graduated from college last year with a Bachelor's in Film and Media (ended up with all A's!), and ended up working as a production assistant for a tv show. Even though I was grateful for the opportunity, I struggled severely with being able to handle the workload, and would socially shut down and go into the bathroom sobbing and flap my hands around (which usually calms me down in stressful situations.) It got to a point where after each shift I would be in bed exhausted and have no energy to keep up my chores or my hygiene. I had to step down from the role and took a few months to regroup.
I ended up taking a job at a clothing store where I have been working for the last 6 1/2 months, and recently my workload has gone up and I am starting to feel myself fall into similar burnouts again. My coworkers are noticing that it's taking me extra time to get tasks done, and that overall the quality of my work is going down. I set high standards for myself (I was employee of the month in the beginning) so I get so mad at myself for struggling this hard, and keep trying to push myself to do better.
My lease ends at the end of July, and my parents want me to come home (which I am severely opposed to because of a toxic home environment.) I've been wanting to start my career and finally be an "adult" but I'm so scared because this cycle of nonstop burnout is a pattern in my life, and I have no idea what direction to go next. I'm embarrassed and ashamed, and because I set high standards I feel so weak.
Thank you for reading through this wall of text, and any advice would be so appreicated!
submitted by luckycheeto7 to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
I was able to push through and graduated from college last year with a Bachelor's in Film and Media (ended up with all A's!), and ended up working as a production assistant for a tv show. Even though I was grateful for the opportunity, I struggled severely with being able to handle the workload, and would socially shut down and go into the bathroom sobbing and flap my hands around (which usually calms me down in stressful situations.) It got to a point where after each shift I would be in bed exhausted and have no energy to keep up my chores or my hygiene. I had to step down from the role and took a few months to regroup.
I ended up taking a job at a clothing store where I have been working for the last 6 1/2 months, and recently my workload has gone up and I am starting to feel myself fall into similar burnouts again. My coworkers are noticing that it's taking me extra time to get tasks done, and that overall the quality of my work is going down. I set high standards for myself (I was employee of the month in the beginning) so I get so mad at myself for struggling this hard, and keep trying to push myself to do better.
My lease ends at the end of July, and my parents want me to come home (which I am severely opposed to because of a toxic home environment.) I've been wanting to start my career and finally be an "adult" but I'm so scared because this cycle of nonstop burnout is a pattern in my life, and I have no idea what direction to go next. I'm embarrassed and ashamed, and because I set high standards I feel so weak.
Thank you for reading through this wall of text, and any advice would be so appreicated!
2024.05.11 22:07 currentfso Foreign Service Super FAQ
This is third version of an FAQ first posted several years ago by u/watts52 . The second version, posted by u/brassage is here. The primary changes have been to update links that have changed or are no longer active, and to add a few more resources and recent threads on the existing topics. Primary credit goes to u/watts52, the original poster.
This FAQ covers many common topics discussed on foreignservice . All answers have been pulled from public sources and without any information covered by NDA. Error reports, additions, and clarifications welcome in the comments. (Last update 11 May 2024)
submitted by currentfso to foreignservice [link] [comments]
This FAQ covers many common topics discussed on foreignservice . All answers have been pulled from public sources and without any information covered by NDA. Error reports, additions, and clarifications welcome in the comments. (Last update 11 May 2024)
Foreign Service Super FAQ
- How do I become a diplomat? How do I work in the foreign service? The best place to learn about this is in the Careers Section of the State Department website. Start here.
- What are the differences among FSO, FSS, LNA, CF, CS, and EFM?
- Here is an excellent general overview. {HT: zzonkmiles}
- FSO - Foreign service officers are generalists who serve, usually abroad, in one of five different "cones" (career tracks). Learn more.
- FSS - Foreign service specialists "provide important technical, management, healthcare, or administrative services" at overseas posts Learn more.
- LNA - Limited Non-Career Appointments are opportunities ranging from 15 to 60 months in a handful of specialized areas. Learn more.
- CF - Consular fellows (a subset of LNAs) work alongside FSOs and primarily "adjudicate visas for foreign nationals." Learn more.
- CS - The civil service is a part of the State Department, but is not considered part of the foreign service. Most civil service jobs are based in DC, and this sub typically does not deal with issues related to the civil service. Learn more.
- EFM - Eligible Family members - these are family members (typically spouses) of FSOs or FSSs who work for the State Department at the same post as the FSO or FSS. EFM jobs are not always available and sometimes subject to hiring freezes.
- Is the Foreign Service the same thing as the State Department? No, the State Department consists of the foreign service (employees who are typically overseas) and the civil service (all other employees who are typically serving in DC). In addition, the term "foreign service" may also include:
- the US Foreign Commercial Service in the Commerce department.
- the US Foreign Agricultural Service
- the US Agency for Global Media (formerly the Broadcasting Board of Governors)
- the US Agency for International Development (USAID)
- Where can I find answers to nearly any question I might have about getting in to the foreign service?
- This foreignservice sub (search archives)
TheFSOT Yahoo Group(search archives)TheFSOA Yahoo Group(search archives)No longer in service. If anyone has an updated option, please comment, and I'll edit the post.- Read the selection process brochure.
- The official State Department FAQ
- For FSS Applicants, the Foreign Service Specialist Careers Yahoo Group {HT: kaiserjoeicem}
- Why should I consider the foreign service? Why not?
- Various reasons for joining.
- Here is a thread mostly involving reasons against joining.
- An FSO's reasons for leaving the foreign service. A more recent thread on why some former FS personnel resigned.
- Pros and Cons of the Foreign Service lifestyle.
- Pleasant surprises and biggest disappointments about life in the Foreign Service.
- Misconceptions about life in the Foreign Service.
- Which cone is the best fit for me? Take the Career Track Quiz to find out. It's really important for you to pick a track that you have a passion for.
- What are the differences among the cones? How do I choose a cone?
- Read summaries & detailed job descriptions of all the cones.
- Watch employee video interviews covering all different parts of the State Department, including all different FSO cones.
- Read these threads about job duties in each of the cones: Consular, Economic, Management, Political, Public Diplomacy
- A Day in the Life Series - Some of these are pretty tongue-in-cheek, but still insightful in their own ways.
- Political Officer
- Consular Officer
- CONS - American Citizen Services
- Economic Officer
- ECON - Environment, Science, Technology, and Health Officer
- Management Officer
- Management - General Services Officer
- Public Diplomacy - Press Officer
- Diplomatic Security Special Agent
- Diplomatic Security - Security Engineering Officer
- Office Management Specialist
- Which cone gives me the best chance of getting in? Which cones are hiring the most people right now? It depends on your background and your own desires and motivations, and it depends on the needs of the service. Even if we could tell you which cones are hiring the most people now, the hiring process can take one to three years and things may be different by the time you are eligible to receive a job offer. Do not make the mistake of choosing a cone based on what you think your "chances" are. Too many people make this mistake. If you choose a cone this way, you will probably find yourself in a job you dislike, and you'll have wasted a lot of time and energy "getting in" and you'll be looking for a way to be "getting out." Further discussion here...
- Can I change cones? Would it be a good idea to come in as a Consular Officer and later switch to a Political Officer? In theory it's possible to change cones. In practice, it's difficult to do so, and you shouldn't plan on it. Some discussion here.
- Can I choose one cone and then simply do out-of-cone work? Maybe, but that's a silly game to play and it's likely counterproductive to your other career and non-career goals. If you are really interested in one cone, choose that one when you apply. Too many applicants attempt to game the system by choosing an "easy" cone with some scheme to actually end up switching to or working in a different cone, but experienced FSOs on this sub have stated repeatedly that such schemes never really work out. That said, there is a lot of variety in foreign service work. Pick a cone that is of interest to you, and you will have plenty of opportunities to serve in different roles. More thoughts here and here.
- I have a terrific idea for how to game the cone system that is not listed here. No, you don't. Somebody has already tried it and ended up being sad. Please don't try to game the system - it won't work the way you're hoping it will. Instead, just choose a cone based on your interests, talents, abilities, and passions, and work from there. You'll be happier and more successful in the long run.
- How do post assignments work?
- A great overview of 1st and 2nd tour bidding, post assignments, and language training
- First tour assignment thoughts
- First & Second tour bidding and More information, and more here.
- Second tour bidding
- Entry Level Office Management Specialist Bidding
- Bidding for third tour and beyond
- More mid-level bidding
- I have an interest in working in country X or at least in a certain region of the world. How can I do that in the foreign service? During your first two tours, you're "directed" meaning you have a restricted list of places you might end up. Beyond that, you'll be responsible for finding your own assignments. It would not be uncommon for someone to develop regional expertise over time, but regional expertise doesn't mean you'd be bouncing between Paris and Geneva for the rest of your career. It's also easier to specialize in bigger countries or regions like the PRC or former Soviet Union than it is to specialize in smaller countries or niche sub-regions like Austria or the Gulf. Further discussion
- I have a terrific idea for how to game the assignment system that is not listed here. No, you don't. Somebody has already tried it and ended up being sad. Please don't try to game the system - it won't work the way you're hoping it will. Instead, just be prepared to be "worldwide available" and understand that might mean Paris or Bangui, Caracas or Tashkent, Wellington or Bamako, Tijuana or Toronto. If you are not comfortable with that type of availability, this is not the career for you.
- What are the popular or unpopular posts? It depends on the person, on the people you work with at a given post, and on environmental factors, among other things. A lot of people come in imagining they'd love working in a western European capital city only to find the cost of living, culture of the post, personality of their direct supervisor, commute to the office, or some other factor makes life less fun than it would've been if they'd simply visited that same city on vacation. Posts in other parts of the world such as sub-Saharan Africa or central Asia may have tighter-knit expat communities or post culture or better housing options or other benefits that make them more desirable for some people. One person's best post might be another person's worst. Many people on this sub have indicated that they've hated posts they expected to love and loved posts they expected to hate. One frequently mentioned bit of advice on this sub is not to think of Foreign Service posts as you would think of vacation destinations. Here is a good discussion of this topic. And here is a longer discussion of various posts that current or aspiring FSOs either like or don't like for various reasons.
- Where can I learn about what life is like at different posts? Try reading these real post reports.
- Why does the hiring process seem so opaque/confusing/mysterious/complicated? It's not really opaque, as State tells you exactly what they're looking for in candidates and provides study materials and resources for preparing for each stage. That said, a lot of candidates seem to feel frustrated or confused by the process for a variety of reasons. These may include:
- The process is long and does not offer immediate gratification. You should plan to move forward with life as usual and work through the foreign service hiring process in the background. There is simply a lot of waiting involved.
- Many candidates, surprisingly, seem not to follow directions and are then confused when they don't pass a certain stage of the process. By way of example, the instructions from the QEP about how to write personal narratives include the instruction, "Simple lists of accomplishments, recaps of candidates' resumes...are not effective." But one person did exactly this in the Leadership Skills essay and did not pass. This is not to say there are no other problems with this candidate's PNs, but if you make sure to follow each stage's instructions exactly, the process (and your results) won't seem so confusing.
- Many candidates, young and old, mistakenly assume that their work/life/school experience makes them more than qualified for an entry-level FSO role. In actuality, successful candidates translate that experience into the six precepts and thirteen dimensions during the QEP and FSOA stages, respectively.
- How can I improve my chances of passing?
- FSOT - Be well-read on a diverse set of subjects, take the State Department reading list seriously, practice good test taking skills, know your English grammar perfectly, and be able to write in a clear and concise manner.
- QEP - Follow the directions exactly. Answer the questions exactly as written. Do not list your resume in bullet points. Do tell relevant (and verifiably true) stories. Have diverse life and work experiences that map easily to the job description of the cone you've selected and to the precept described in the essay prompt.
- FSOA - Practice, practice, practice ahead of time. Use the former Yahoo Group Files. Be relaxed and composed. Make every action and every word you use roll up into one or more of the 11 dimensions. Come across as someone that other people would want to work with. Smile. Oh, and practice.
- Security clearance - Before you get to the security clearance stage, make sure you've buttoned up everything you can think of, from past stupid behavior to credit reports to tax filings. Consider running a cheap background check on yourself. When filling out your SF-86, disclose everything. Don't make anything a surprise. When you meet with your investigator, disclose everything relevant to the questions and the time frames included. Make sure you understand what they're looking for and be proactive about bringing troublesome/questionable points to the investigator's attention.
- For all stages - read the instructions and do exactly what they are asking you to do, no more and no less. Do not try to guess what the examiners want to hear. They are telling you exactly what they want each time - whether it's demonstration of general knowledge and English expertise, clear and concise writing, demonstration of the six precepts, or demonstration of the thirteen dimensions. Whichever stage you're working through, assume that you're being graded according to a rubric that matches exactly to the instructions you're given.
- Approximately what percentage of people pass each of the stages? No one outside State really knows exactly, and numbers can vary from year to year, depending on hiring projections, but based on various reports (example) and conjecture here are some approximate guesses. Feel free to disagree.
- Total number of people who take the FSOT in a given year: 17000, give or take. (Although in 2017, State reportedthe number had dropped to just 9519. This lower number, though, does not mean one's "chances" are any better or any worse this year.) Note that while these numbers are expressed as numerical percentages, they should not be interpreted as probabilities.
- FSOT - No longer pass/fail
- QEP - This can vary greatly based on the needs of the service by cone, the total number of applicants, and various other factors.
- FSOA - Approximately 40-50% pass
- Clearances, suitability & receiving an offer before timing off the register: 60-80%. Very few people are denied a security clearance (though getting the clearance may take a long time). More commonly, the people that pass the FSOA but do not become FSOs are those with low FSOA scores who time off the register after 18 months or those who choose to cancel their candidacy for one reason or another. Historically, about 2-3% of FSOT takers ended up as FSOs eventually.
- How long will it take me to get through the process? Assuming everything goes perfectly, at least a year but possibly much longer. For example: if you take the FSOT today, it will be a couple of months before you get your results. You'll have three weeks to submit your essays to the QEP and then another couple months of waiting. You'll then have to schedule your oral assessment (another 2-4 month wait) and if you pass that, you'll enter the medical and security clearance stage which will take at least 6 months in most cases, but possibly much longer. (Yes, there are anectodal exceptions to all of the above.) You'll then go through final suitability review, which will take anywhere from a week to several months and only at that point will you be on the register. You will then have to wait for hiring to be authorized and to receive an offer. You'll be on the register for 18 months, and if you don't get an offer during that window of time, your candidacy will end. If an offer doesn't come through (or if you fail any of the steps of the process), you'll have to start over by taking the FSOT again the next time you're eligible. So if you take the FSOT today, the best case scenario would be for you to be joining the foreign service a little over a year from now, but a more likely scenario is that you'll be working through this process and doing a lot of waiting for a couple of years or more. Use the time productively - there's no benefit to sitting around and stressing over the what-ifs of State Department hiring.
- How can I use my time productively?
- Learn a language to improve your register position
- Engage in meaningful work to improve your demonstration of the 11 dimensions.
- Start another candidacy in parallel. In most cases, you are allowed to take the FSOT once per year, so take it every time you have the opportunity.
- Take this advice.
- What if I fail one of the stages? Then you are human and you've had an experience not unlike ~98% of applicants each year. If you're interested in the foreign service, try again. Some people have taken the test more than ten times and many of today's FSO's were hired on subsequent tries because they persisted and improved themselves each time.
- Is there a hiring freeze? Should I wait to apply until after things return to normal? Whether there is a hiring freeze in effect or not doesn't matter. As one person said, "It'll take a long time from test to diplomat, so I don't think the temporal minutia will really matter by the time we're on the register." If you're interested in the Foreign Service, go take the test and get the process started. It's free. Worst case, you fail and you'll take the test another time (which is what you would've done if you had tried to wait out the hiring freeze). But it might be that you succeed and find yourself well-positioned on the register in time for the next big round of hiring.
- Is there going to be an A-100 soon? Will [cone] spots be available? How should I interpret the remarks of [important person]? Are they really only going to hire [number] of people this year? I can't deal with the stress! Why are they making me put my life on hold? Why won't they extend my time on the register? How many people will retire/resign/take an early buyout this year? How many Rangel/Pickering fellows are there and what percentage of the jobs will they take? What is the status of [funding legislation in congress]? Does [random thing I read in the news] mean we should expect to see a new A-100 now? Why does FSI have training classes on their schedule if no invites have gone out yet? etc. As an exasperated someone humorously posted on another forum, "Seriously chill. Even if you were provided this information, which isn’t likely, it has no effect on whether there are spots left for you. Enough with trying to predict what happens this year. Wait it out like any job interview."
- What is the difference between the FSWE and the FSOT? The FSOT is the Foreign Service Officer Test. Its predecessor was the FSWE, the Foreign Service Written Exam, and is no longer administered. You can sign up to take the FSOT here.
- What are my chances of passing? There is no way to know without trying. If you're interested, take the test and see how you do. People on this sub won't be able to tell you how you're likely to do, and if you try and fail and then try again, you may find that you perform better and pass the second (or third or fourth) time around. Remember: taking the test is free. (You only have to pay if you sign up and then fail to take the test.) So you have nothing to lose - get out there and give it a go.
- How can I prepare?
- Take the practice test.
- Read the Suggested Reading List.
- Set your expectations that this process will take a long time. If you are just now getting ready to take the FSOT, chances are you will not be a new FSO next year at this time. Most people will not successfully become FSO's on their first try. But that doesn't mean you should give up! You will try, you will try again. You will need to maintain a positive attitude. You will need to be patient. Don't make Foreign Service your Plan A. Move on with life while you are working your way through the foreign service hiring process.
- Where can I find more information about the FSOT? Try the FSOT Frequently Asked Questions on the Pearson site. (Pearson is currently the company that administers the FSOT and some of the subsequent steps of the hiring process.)
- What is the difference between the QEP and the PN's or the PNQ's? People use these acronyms to talk about the same part of the process, even though they mean different things. The QEP is the Qualifications Evaluation Panel, and its job is to evaluate, based on a set of short essays, the likelihood that someone who passed the FSOT will also pass the FSOA. FSOT passers write one essay (a "personal narrative" or "PN") for each of six prompts (each a "personal narrative question" or "PNQ").
- When will I know if I made it to the QEP? You will get an email from Pearson a few weeks after the close of the FSOT testing window. Your results will also appear in your online account with Pearson. When you are notified that you made it to the QEP, you will have approximately three weeks to write your essays and submit them through the Pearson interface.
- Where is the FSOA held? As of May 2024, it is now held virtually, over the course of two days.
- When will I know if I made it to the FSOA? You will get an email from Pearson a few weeks after you submit your personal narratives to the QEP. Your results will also appear in your online account with Pearson. When you are notified that you made it to the FSOA, you will have the opportunity to schedule your FSOA date through the Pearson interface.
- How can I prepare?
- The FSOA evaluates your demonstration of the 11 dimensions. Know them inside and out.
- Take advantage of the old Yahoo Group FSOA files.
- Contact your Diplomat in Residence, as many of them hold FSOA info sessions.
- What is the process for getting my security clearance?
- After you pass the FSOA, you will receive a packet of information describing how this process works. Basically, within 30 days you will fill out a lengthy questionnaire electronically on the e-QIP system. (Read e-QIP FAQs here.)
- The e-QIP is the electronic version of the "SF-86," a standard PDF/printable form with essentially the same questions. Although not necessary, some have recommended using a printed SF-86 form to collect all of your responses to the e-QIP and then transcribe them into the electronic system when you are ready. (The e-QIP system does allow you to save and return to work again later.) Start early: many have reported that tracking down all their foreign contacts or previous addresses has taken a long time.
- You will wait for a period of time (say between a few days and a few months) and then you will be contacted by an investigator from Diplomatic Security. You will set up an interview with him or her. The investigator will let you know if additional information is required; you can speed up the process by disclosing everything up front. Don't try to hide the negatives; be up front and transparent.
- Will X affect my ability to get a clearance? It depends. Here are the guidelines.
- What percentage of applicants are denied a security clearance? Only about 0.1% of initial cases, per the 2015 ODNI report. However the report notes State may discontinue security processing due to automatic disqualifiers found during a suitability review before the case reaches the security clearance adjudication phase. These cases are cancelled by Human Resources before security clearance determinations are rendered and are not, therefore, categorized as security clearance denials. {HT: Christabel34}
- Where can I find the shadow registers? How can I be added? What is my position on the register? Contact the volunteer maintaining the shadow register for your career track or specialty
- Do I have to know a foreign language to be in the foreign service? No, but if you do know a language well, you will receive bonus points and may be hired before a similarly-qualified candidate without language ability. Also, every new FSO must learn a language within the first few years of service. You are on so-called "language probation" until you have passed the appropriate language exam. FSI will provide the language training for any language-designated position in which you are to serve.
- How do language bonus points work? When you pass the FSOA, you will have a score, usually between about 5.3 and 6, though scores can be as high as 7. You will be ranked by score against other people in your cone, and the higher scores will be hired first. So if you have the highest score for your cone. The only way to improve your score (unless you are a veteran) is to pass a language test. Most languages will get you an additional .17 points if you can demonstrate a "general professional proficiency" on the Interagency Language Roundtable Scale. For examples of the level of proficiency you would need, watch these videos. Harder languages that are in higher demand by the State Department can get you either .25 or .38 points. A list of languages for which State offers bonus points is here. And this thread has some excellent advice on languages.
- If I speak language X, will I get sent to a post where that language is needed? Not necessarily, unless you received language bonus points for a super critical needs language. In that latter case, you can expect to serve in a position designated for that language at least twice in your career. The super critical needs languages are listed in the bottom table on this page. But if you come in with a fluency in, say, Spanish (which is not a super critical needs language), there is no guarantee that you'll be sent to a Spanish-speaking post.
- What is it like to find out what your next post will be? Read many flag day stories here.
- How does pay work? How is my salary calculated? What allowances do I get? Read this excellent Foreign Service Officer Salary Guide. You can also look up information about various posts, but be advised that the data on this site is not necessarily official and may be out of date.
- Will I be required to serve in an unaccompanied post? You are "worldwide available," so in theory it can happen. In practice, there are a lot of people who volunteer to serve in unaccompanied posts for various reasons, and it would be unlikely that you would be forced to serve in one if you didn't want to.
- What is it like to be LGBT in the foreign service? Review GLIFAA's website and resources, read read real post reports, which have a specific section for LGBT info, by post and these threads - LGBT, Foreign Commercial Service LGBT, same sex marriage, Robyn McCutcheon's book about her career Foreign Service, including as the first trans FSO.
- ...I have a graduate degree from a really good school with a high GPA or I have no degree at all? No, it really doesn't matter.
- ...I did drugs or committed a crime or did something stupid a long time ago? It could hurt you, but it really depends on what you did, how you dealt with the problem, and what you've been doing since then. Go ahead and apply.
- ...I did drugs or committed a crime or did something stupid recently? It could hurt you, and if you're continuing to show poor judgment in life, it's going to be next to impossible for you to join the foreign service. However, no one on this sub will be able to tell you definitively what your outcome is likely to be. Fix whatever it is and try again. You won't know if or how this will affect your candidacy unless you try.
- ...I have dual citizenship? Your clearances will take longer, but it's not a deal breaker. Read details here.
- **...I have a foreign-born spouse or I have many contacts overseas or I have lived overseas for a long time?**Same answer: your clearances will take longer, but it's not a deal breaker. Read details here and here.
- What happens after I receive my Orientation offer? Orientation 101 is the initial training class you take when you officially start work in the foreign service. Congratulations! It is a time of a lot of changes. Here is a description of what happens.
- How can I become an Ambassador? You probably won't become an ambassador, and it's not worth the brain cycles to try to plan for it. But even if you have the right set of skills, knowledge, and luck through a career spanning many decades and you end up as an ambassador, you will still have spent far more time as a rank-and-file career employee than as an ambassador. So make sure you are interested, first and foremost, in the job and lifestyle of a foreign service officer, which is where you will spend the entirety of your career.
- I am outraged over what the President / Secretary / someone else in power just said / did! Nothing wrong with feeling outrage, but what you do with that feeling may matter. And while you may dissent through the appropriate (private) channel, no matter who is in power and no matter who you voted for, your duty as a foreign service officer is to publicly advance the interests of the U.S. As a simplistic example, take a look at who came in first or second in the presidential elections going back ~20 years. Any of them could've been your boss (with small differences in electoral returns for the runners-up, of course): B. Clinton, Dole, Bush, Gore, Kerry, McCain, Obama, Romney, H. Clinton, Trump. Those individuals hold a pretty diverse set of policy views, and the next twenty years of presidential elections will probably result in a similarly diverse list. So if you want to be in the foreign service, think of your job as representing the U.S. regardless of who is in power. If you can see yourself representing the U.S. when person A is in power but not when person B is in power, this may not be the best career for you in the long run.
2024.05.11 21:13 SanderSo47 Directors at the Box Office: Wes Craven
 | https://preview.redd.it/5jhcjegtjuzc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=71a26f361e87730152e07e12f1bc76322db0b023 submitted by SanderSo47 to boxoffice [link] [comments] Here's a new edition of "Directors at the Box Office", which seeks to explore the directors' trajectory at the box office and analyze their hits and bombs. I already talked about a few, and as I promised, it's Wes Craven's turn. Craven earned a master's degree in philosophy and writing from Johns Hopkins University. He subsequently bought a 16mm film camera and began making short movies. His friend Steve Chapin informed him of a messenger position at a New York City film production co, where his brother, future folk-rock star Harry Chapin worked. He started in the industry as a sound editor, before transitioning as a porn director. He said he made "many hardcore X-rated films" under pseudonyms. And then he transitioned into directing for the big screen. From a box office perspective, how reliable was he to deliver a box office hit? That's the point of this post. To analyze his career. It should be noted that as he started his career in the 1970s, some of the domestic grosses here will be adjusted by inflation. The table with his highest grossing films, however, will be left in its unadjusted form, as the worldwide grosses are more difficult to adjust.The Last House on the Left (1972)"Mari, seventeen, is dying. Even for her, the worst is yet to come."His directorial debut. The film stars Sandra Peabody, Lucy Grantham, David Hess, Fred J. Lincoln, Jeramie Rain, and Marc Sheffler. The plot follows Mari Collingwood, a teenager who is abducted, raped, and tortured by a family of violent fugitives led by Krug Stillo on her seventeenth birthday. When her parents discover what happened to her, they seek vengeance against the family, who have taken shelter at their home. Craven, who had no money at the time, was put on the job of synchronizing dailies for Sean S. Cunningham's Together. They became friends, and Hallmark Releasing gave them $90,000 to make another film. Craven considered a hardcore film, but decided to tone it down a bit. The idea for this film came from Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring, and Craven wanted to make a film in which the violence would be shown in detail onscreen, as he felt that many popular films of the era, such as Westerns, glamorized violence and the "vigilante hero", and gave the public a misleading representation of death in the wake of the Vietnam War. The film attracted negative media attention for its heavy graphic content, and there were calls for some theaters to drop the film. But you know, bad buzz is still buzz and that translated to a pretty good run in theaters, earning up to $3 million in its initial run. Even to this day, the film is polarizing due to its violence and themes. But Craven just made his name well known.
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)"A nice American family. They didn't want to kill. But they didn't want to die."His second film. The film stars Susan Lanier, Michael Berryman and Dee Wallace. The film follows the Carters, a suburban family targeted by a family of cannibal savages after becoming stranded in the Nevada desert. Craven wanted to make a non-horror, but he found that his investors only wanted films with graphic content. At the New York Public Library, Craven checked the library's forensics department, and learned of the legend of Sawney Bean - the alleged head of a 48-person Scottish clan responsible for the murder and cannibalization of more than one thousand people. He drew influences from this, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and The Grapes of Wrath. Craven also had to cut a lot of scenes to avoid getting an X rating. The film once again drew negative attention for its violence. But it made over $25 million at the box office, which was an even bigger success than House. It subsequently earned a cult following.
Deadly Blessing (1981)"Pray you're not blessed."His third film. It stars Ernest Borgnine, Maren Jensen, Susan Buckner, and Sharon Stone, and tells the story of a strange figure committing murder in a contemporary community that is not far from another community that believes in ancient evil and curses. It received negative reviews, but it was another box office success for Craven.
Swamp Thing (1982)"Science transformed him into a monster. Love changed him even more!"His fourth film. Based on the DC Comics character created by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson, it stars Louis Jourdan and Adrienne Barbeau. It tells the story of scientist Alec Holland who is transformed into the monster known as Swamp Thing through laboratory sabotage orchestrated by the evil Anton Arcane. Later, he helps a woman named Alice Cable and battles the man responsible for it all, the ruthless Arcane. The film made $2.5 million domestically, despite mixed reviews.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)"If Nancy doesn't wake up screaming, she won't wake up at all."His fifth film. It stars Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley, Johnny Depp, and Robert Englund. The film's plot concerns a group of teenagers who are targeted by Freddy Krueger, an undead child killer who can murder people through their dreams, as retribution against their parents who burned him alive. The film was inspired by several newspaper articles printed in the Los Angeles Times in the 1970s about Hmong refugees, who, after fleeing to the United States because of war and genocide in Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam, suffered disturbing nightmares and refused to sleep. Some of the men died in their sleep soon after. This, along with the song "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright, motivated Craven to craft a horror film focused on people dying through their sleep. The film's villain, Freddy Krueger, is drawn from Craven's early life. One night, a young Craven saw an elderly man walking on the sidepath outside the window of his home. The man stopped to glance at a startled Craven and walked off. This served as the inspiration for Krueger. Initially, Fred Krueger was intended to be a child molester, but Craven eventually characterized him as a child murderer to avoid being accused of exploiting a spate of highly publicized child molestation cases that occurred in California around the time of the film's production. He settled on the name Freddy Krueger, which was based on a childhood bully of his. The process of writing the film went smoothly, the real problem was finding a studio. Craven sent it to most studios, and all rejected it. The first studio to show interest was Disney, but Craven declined their offer as they wanted a more toned-down kid-friendly PG-13 flick. When Paramount and Universal also turned it down, Craven decided to go to the independent studio New Line Cinema. The studio only distributed films, but they agreed in financing the film. As they lacked the financial resources for the production, New Line had to turn to external financiers. Despite opening in just 165 theaters, the film earned $1.2 million in its opening weekend, making it clear that it would be an immediate box office success. It eventually closed with $25 million domestically, and $57 million worldwide. It received critical acclaim, and has been referred as one of the best and most influential slashers ever made. Freddy Krueger would soon be hailed as one of the most emblematic figures of horror, and Craven quickly earned a reputation as a horror legend. But most importantly, it was the beginning of New Line Cinema as a studio, which is why it's referred as "the house that Freddy built." The film would later spawn a franchise, although Craven wouldn't direct any of the "sequels." Why the quotation marks? We'll get to that later on.
The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1985)"So you think you're lucky to be alive."His sixth film. The sequel to The Hills Have Eyes, it stars Tamara Stafford, Kevin Spirtas, John Bloom, Michael Berryman, Penny Johnson, Janus Blythe, John Laughlin, Willard E. Pugh, Peter Frechette and Robert Houston. It follows a group of bikers who become stranded in the desert and find themselves fighting off a family of inbred cannibals who live off the land. The film was shot on a very low budget, and it simply ended prematurely because they ran out of funds. There are no box office numbers available, but it received awful reviews. Deadly Friend (1986)"There's no one alive who'll play with the girl next door."His seventh film. Based on the novel Friend by Diana Henstell, it stars Matthew Laborteaux, Kristy Swanson, Michael Sharrett, Anne Twomey, Richard Marcus, and Anne Ramsey. Its plot follows a teenage computer prodigy who implants a robot's processor into the brain of his teenage neighbor after she is pronounced brain dead; the experiment proves successful, but she swiftly begins a killing spree in their neighborhood. Craven wanted to make a PG-rated science fiction film, with a similar tone to Starman, hoping to prove that he could make something that wasn't horror-themed. An unfinished version of the film was screened to a test audience of Craven's fanbase, and it was poorly received for its lack of violence and gore like his previous films. So WB decided to rewrite the film, adding more scenes with tons of gore. This made the final film appear tonally jumbled, and it went from easy PG to struggling to not get an X rating. The film was poorly received for its story and inconsistent tone. It also marked a huge flop at the box office, not even hitting $10 million. Craven lost interest in the film after WB inserted their own version, and he has since disowned the film.
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)"Don't bury me, I'm not dead!"His eighth film. It stars Bill Pullman, and is loosely based on the life of ethnobotanist Wade Davis, recounting his experiences in Haiti investigating the story of Clairvius Narcisse, who was allegedly poisoned, buried alive, and revived with a herbal brew which produced what was called a zombie. The film received mixed reactions, but it was a much needed box office success for Craven.
Shocker (1989)"No more Mr. Nice Guy."His ninth film. It stars Michael Murphy, Peter Berg, Cami Cooper, and Mitch Pileggi, and follows a serial killer who uses electricity to come back from the dead and carry out his vengeance on the football player who turned him in to the police. Another mixed bag for Craven, but it was still profitable.
The People Under the Stairs (1991)"In every neighborhood, there's one house that adults whisper about and children cross the street to avoid."His tenth film. It stars Brandon Adams, Everett McGill, Wendy Robie, and A. J. Langer. The plot follows a young boy and two adult robbers who become trapped in a house belonging to a neighborhood's crooked landlords after breaking in to steal their collection of gold coins as the boy learns a dark secret about them and what also lurks in their house. After a slate of mixed performers, the film received Craven's best reviews since Elm Street. To the surprise of Universal, it was also a box office success.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)"This time, the terror doesn't stop at the screen."His 11th film. The installment in the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, it stars Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, Miko Hughes and John Saxon. The film is not part of the same continuity as previous films, and it portrays Freddy Krueger as a fictional movie villain who invades the real world and haunts the cast and crew involved in the making of the films about him. While Craven co-wrote the franchise's third installment, Dream Warriors, he wasn't that involved with the rest of the franchise. He wanted to make a deliberately more cerebral film than recent entries to the franchise, as he considered them as being cartoonish, and not faithful to his original themes. Specifically, he wanted Freddy to resemble his original vision: far darker and less comical. To reinforce this, the character's make-up and outfit were enhanced, with one of the most prominent differences being that he now wears a long blue/black trenchcoat. In addition, the signature glove was redesigned for a more organic look, with the fingers resembling bones and having muscle textures in between. The film received high praise, and was considered as the best film in the franchise since the original (it was Englund's favorite). But the franchise has been bleeding interest at the box office, and New Nightmare unfortunately had to suffer. It was profitable, but it became the lowest grossing film in the franchise.
Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)"A comic tale of horror and seduction."His 12th film. It stars Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, Allen Payne, Kadeem Hardison, John Witherspoon, Zakes Mokae, and Joanna Cassidy. It follows a Caribbean vampire who seduces a Brooklyn police officer who has no idea that she is half-vampire. The film had awful reviews, and despite the presence of a huge star like Eddie Murphy, it disappointed at the box office. Craven really needed a hit.
Scream (1996)"Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far."His 13th film. It stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Matthew Lillard, Rose McGowan, Skeet Ulrich and Drew Barrymore. Set in the fictional town of Woodsboro, California, Scream's plot follows high school student Sidney Prescott and her friends, who, on the anniversary of her mother's murder, become the targets of a costumed serial killer known as Ghostface. As he was trying to make it in the industry, Kevin Williamson watched a Turning Point documentary about serial killer Danny Rolling which he said left him unsettled. Williamson later noticed an open window, armed himself with a knife, and called his friend for support. The pair began discussing horror characters that had resonated with them such as Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees. This experience prompted Williamson to start developing a concept wherein a girl is haunted by a caller. He started writing a film titled Scary Movie, and even left an outline for possible sequels. The concept was part of an era where there was debate over the influence of cinematic violence on audience, with Williamson coming up with a brilliant line "movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative." It was inspired by many 1980s slashers, even though the genre was on decline by that point. His characters were intentionally designed to be knowledgeable about these horror films and their typical elements, with the intention of creating a unique killer who was not only aware of horror film clichés but also exploited them for his own advantage. While Williamson struggled with his previous films, this script was part of a bidding war with the studios, to the point that Oliver Stone himself wanted to direct it. Miramax (through Dimension Films) bought the script, and Williamson made some rewrites to scale back the violence. Bob Weinstein also wanted to change the name, as he believed the audiences would think the film is a comedy. The studio considered Danny Boyle, Tom McLoughlin, Sam Raimi, Robert Rodriguez, George A. Romero, Quentin Tarantino, and Anthony Waller as prime candidates to direct the film, but they all preferred to view the film as a comedy. Wes Craven was considered, but the studio believed he couldn't direct a satire. Craven also wasn't planning on directing it, as he wanted to focus on more mainstream films to salvage his career. Craven's assistant Julie Plec (who would collaborate with Williamson on The Vampire Diaries) convinced him in helming the project. By signing, Craven decided to get back some of the gore that was missing in the previous drafts. A huge contrast to the horror films of the era was that the film had established actors as the leads, as Craven and Williamson wanted to prove that no character was safe. Drew Barrymore had already starred in a few recognizable names, Neve Campbell was on the hit show Party of Five, Rose McGowan was known for Encino Man and The Doom Generation, David Arquette, Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich were recognizable supporting characters, and Courteney Cox obviously was known for Friends. Vince Vaughn and Natasha Lyonne were the preferred choices for Billy and Tatum, but external problems caused them to drop out. After viewing the dailies raw footage, the Weinsteins criticized the quality of Craven's work as "workmanlike at best", believing it lacked tension and had an inconsistent tone. The Weinsteins also disliked the mask design, and said Barrymore lacked sex appeal because of the pageboy hairstyle she had chosen. While filming the final fight, Campbell's stuntwoman accidentally stabbed Ulrich with an umbrella tip, missing the protective vest he was wearing and hitting the site of an open heart surgery Ulrich had as a child. During post-production, Harvey Weinstein decided to name the film as Scream based on the Michael and Janet Jackson song. In a surprising move, the Weinsteins decided to release the film during the holiday season as counter-programming, offering teenagers an alternative to more traditional holiday fare. The decision was unpopular with the cast and crew, with Williamson expecting the film to fail. The film opened with $6.4 million and finishing in fourth place, leading analysts to consider the film as a bomb. But the film just kept growing. Buoyed by positive word of mouth, the Weinsteins increased marketing and the film managed to increase in its second and third weekends. It closed with $103 million domestically and $173 million worldwide, becoming the highest grossing slasher film ever and Craven's highest grossing film ever. The film received critical acclaim for its characters and writing, and has since been deemed as one of the most influential horror films of all time. It rekindled interest in horror, resurrected Craven's career and launched the careers of Williamson and the cast.
Scream 2 (1997)"Someone has taken their love of sequels one step too far."His 14th film. The sequel to Scream, it stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Kennedy, Laurie Metcalf, Jerry O'Connell, Elise Neal, Timothy Olyphant, Jada Pinkett, and Liev Schreiber. The film takes place two years after the first film and again follows the character of Sidney Prescott, along with other survivors of the Woodsboro massacre, at the fictional Windsor College in Ohio where they are targeted by a copycat killer using the guise of Ghostface. As Williamson already had plans for sequels, the idea was for Sidney to attend college while being stalked by a copycat Ghostface killer. As filming began, Williamson's script had four killers: Derek, Hallie, Cotton Weary, and Nancy Loomis. But after Williamson transferred his script to the production, it was leaked onto the Internet in full, revealing the identity of the killers and a large amount of the involved plot. This resulted in the production continuing to film with only a partial script while Williamson conducted extensive rewrites, changing much of the film's finale, the identities of the film's killers and drastically altering the roles of other characters such as Randy Meeks and Joel. With a short deadline, Williamson couldn't fully compromise on the final script, forcing Craven to fill in the gaps himself. So the film was one of the very first cases where the Internet leaked major aspects of a film. As the Weinsteins wanted the film ready for December, it was able to capitalize on the audience's word of mouth to the original. It opened with $32 million in its first weekend, almost five times as big as the original, and the biggest December debut. It didn't hold as great as the original due to the competition, such as Titanic, but it still made $172.3 million worldwide, almost matching the original's gross. It also received very positive reviews, and so a profitable franchise was already underway.
Music of the Heart (1999)"She gave them a gift they could never imagine. They gave the system a fight it would never forget."His 15th film. The film stars Meryl Streep, Aidan Quinn, Angela Bassett, Gloria Estefan, Jane Leeves, Kieran Culkin and Jay O. Sanders. The film is a dramatization of the true story of Roberta Guaspari, who co-founded the Opus 118 Harlem School of Music and fought for music education funding in New York City public schools. After seeing the documentary Small Wonders, Craven was inspired to make a full-length film about Guaspari. Madonna was originally signed to play the role of Guaspari, but left the project before filming began, citing "creative differences" with Craven. When she left, Madonna had already studied for many months to play the violin. Streep learned to play Bach's Concerto for 2 Violins for the film. The project marked a huge departure for Craven; it was his first and only film to be rated PG, and his only one to not be horror or thriller. It received generally positive reviews, but it bombed at the box office. It received 2 Oscar nominations for Best Actress and Best Original Song, the only Craven film to get any noms.
Scream 3 (2000)"The most terrifying scream is always the last."His 16th film. The third installment in the Scream franchise, it stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox Arquette, Parker Posey, Patrick Dempsey, Scott Foley, Lance Henriksen, Matt Keeslar, Jenny McCarthy, Emily Mortimer, Deon Richmond, and Patrick Warburton. The film's story takes place one year after the previous film's events and follows Sidney Prescott, who has gone into self-imposed isolation following the events of the previous two films but is drawn to Hollywood after a new Ghostface begins killing the cast of the film within a film Stab 3. The plans for a sequel were already underway since Williamson sold the script, although Williamson still didn't write a script yet. When the Weinsteins approached him to write the film, Williamson was already busy with many projects (including his directorial debut), and was unavailable to perform his duties. He only made a 20-page outline wherein Ghostface would return just as production on a fictional film Stab 3 would be filmed. His plan was to show the killers were part of a Stab fan club (this idea would later be adapted into his show, The Following). With Williamson not available, Ehren Kruger was tasked in writing. Shortly before production began on the film, the Columbine High School massacre took place, and many parties began looking for reasoning behind the shooters' actions and there came an increased scrutiny on the role of the media in society, including video games and film, and the influence it could have on an audience. With production of Scream 3 not yet underway, there were considerations about whether the film should be made at that time, aware of the potential for negative attention but the studio decided to press forward, albeit with changes. The Weinsteins demanded to scale back on the gore and emphasize its satiric humor, as well as moving the setting to Hollywood. At one point in the production, the studio went as far as demanding that the film feature no blood or on-screen violence at all, a drastic departure for the series, but Craven directly intervened. One of the aspects changed was that the killer would be revealed to be Stu Macher, having survived the original film. The Weinsteins changed it after Columbine, as they didn't want to associate violence and murder with a high school setting. The film opened with $34.7 million, a franchise record and the biggest February debut ever. But it had weak legs, although it still made a very profitable $161.8 million worldwide. While the previous films were well-received, this film received negative reviews, who lambasted the film for becoming the very own thing it satirizes.
Cursed (2005)"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."His 17th film. It stars Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson, Jesse Eisenberg, Judy Greer, Scott Baio, Milo Ventimiglia, Shannon Elizabeth and Mýa, and follows two orphaned siblings attacked by a werewolf loose in Los Angeles. Kevin Williamson started working on a script that followed the exploits of a New York City serial killer who discovers that his lethal tendencies are due to his lycanthrope nature. When one of his projects was scrapped, Craven decided to direct, teaming them up again for another Scream reunion. But it wasn't planned like that. Craven was making a film, Pulse, when Bob Weinstein abruptly pulled the movie from the schedule ten days before shooting and cut through all the slow lanes, wanting Craven to get to Cursed as soon as possible. Craven was reportedly not pleased so Weinstein doubled his pay in order for him to direct the film. The director deemed the script too tonally similar to his film Vampire in Brooklyn, but felt pressured by the studio, leading him to ultimately sign on. The film started filming in January 2003, hoping to get the film released in August. In June, they only had six days left for filming. Suddenly, Dimension Films decided to put the movie on hold because top executives at the company weren't happy with the film's ending or how the special effects were progressing, specifically the look of the film's lead lupine. Rick Baker was preparing the final transformation effects when production stopped and asked Weinstein to let his team finish the work in order for it to be ready for the reshoot, but he refused. Patrick Lussier was brought in for massive rewrites, and the film didn't return to production until November. Baker was fired, and the prosthetic make-up was replaced with CGI. Skeet Ulrich filmed his scene as one of the leads, but chose to drop out following the reshoots as he disliked the new direction. It was also heavily edited to get the R rating down to PG-13. The budget was originally $35 million, yet some reports suggest it ballooned all the way to $100 million, making it one of the most expensive horror films ever. With that budget, it was clear it was not going to be a box office success. It flopped with just $29 million worldwide, and was panned by critics. Craven himself dislikes the final product, and a director's cut was never an option because his original ending was never filmed.
Red Eye (2005)"Fear takes flight."His 18th film. It stars Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, and Brian Cox. The story follows a hotel manager ensnared in an assassination plot by a terrorist while aboard a red-eye flight to Miami. The film received Craven's best reviews in years, and was a box office success, earning almost $100 million. While he is fine with people loving it, Cillian Murphy is not really fond of the film, "I love Rachel McAdams and we had fun making it but I don’t think it's a good movie. It’s a good B movie."
My Soul to Take (2010)"Only one has the power to save their souls."His 19th film. It stars Max Thieriot, Denzel Whitaker, Raul Esparza, and Shareeka Epps. It follows Adam "Bug" Hellerman, who is one of seven teenagers chosen to die following the anniversary of a serial killer's death. This was Craven's first film in almost two decades where he would be directing, producing and writing. But that didn't pan out to a success: it was a critical and commercial dud.
Scream 4 (2011)"New decade. New rules."His 20th and final film. The fourth installment in the Scream franchise, it stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Anthony Anderson, Alison Brie, Adam Brody, Rory Culkin, Marielle Jaffe, Erik Knudsen, Mary McDonnell, Marley Shelton, Nico Tortorella, and Roger L. Jackson. The film takes place on the fifteenth anniversary of the original Woodsboro murders from Scream and involves Sidney Prescott returning to the town after ten years, where Ghostface once again begins killing students from Woodsboro High. In 2010, Williamson and Craven confirmed their plans for a new film. Craven said that endless sequels, the modern spew of remakes, film studios, and directors are the butts of parodies in the film. The main characters have to figure out where the horror genre is in current days to figure out the modern events happening to and around them. This was the first film in the franchise to use CGI, with the knife's blade added in post-production. Even though the franchise was profitable, it seemed like its glory days were long behind it by the time it hit theaters. The film disappointed in its opening weekend with just $18 million, and closed with a weak $97 million worlwide, far less than the previous films. It also received mixed reviews, particularly for its writing and new characters. It was the last film directed by Craven before his death in 2015.
MOVIES (FROM HIGHEST GROSSING TO LEAST GROSSING)
The VerdictQuite inconsistent, but a very iconic figure in the horror genre. You know you made it big when your creations include Elm Street and Scream. Craven often struggled with difficult productions (you can blame the Weinsteins for that), but he still managed to make competent and scary films, even if some are better than others. Some even see critical re-appraisal as time passes; even Scream 3 and Scream 4 have their fans. We don't know what he would've done with the franchise after the fourth film, but he made it clear he was exhausted by having to film without finished scripts. Rest in Peace to a horror legend.Hope you liked this edition. You can find this and more in the wiki for this section. The next director will be Clint Eastwood. I think I'll have to make two posts, given that he directed 42 films. I asked you to choose who else should be in the run and the comment with the most upvotes would be chosen. Well, we'll later talk about... Ang Lee. A legendary Asian director. This is the schedule for the following four:
And that theme is: controversial directors. I'm talking directors who have attained a polarizing response to their films (like Zack Snyder), or the directors themselves are also controversial figures in real life (like Oliver Stone). Basically, a director that has as many fans as haters. |
2024.05.11 18:05 RicottaPuffs Mediumship as a Varied form of Experience. Musing on Some.of the Experiences and the Differences for Psychic and Mediums Now, as Opposed to my Younger Exploits.
Over the years, I have developed a much broader sense of spirit than I originally conceived as a child and as a teen and as an adult.
I discovered that as the years have passed, that I am much more aware of spirit than I was earlier. Of course, I have more time now to explore. I sought more training and taught myself a great deal.
The sheer number of spirits is astounding. The lines for me between those in this dimension and others are less distinct. So, I have had to learn discernment to sort most of them. Some defy descriptions and placement.
When I began, there were no real resources in print other than a Hans Holzer book about ghosts and a few books, such as the tomes written/dictated by the wife and son of Edgar Cayce
Shamanism and mediumship were not as accessible as they are now. They are considered a years long process for reasons that involve self-assessment and safety.
The experiences of the newer and younger mediums are influenced by a much broader selection of resources. Some few are good. Some are utter nonsense and IMO dangerous. This includes DIY vids on YouTube. Instant development is not a thing. Chanting and meditation and following "how to" instructions on video feeds are risky. Even mentors who offer services to increase psychic abilities need to be evaluated as motivation.
For example, I know a few hopefuls who have fallen prey to mentors whose primary goal was sexual conquest, cult recruitment, and other nefarious purposes.Some become victims of the mentors, financially Some are helping their mentors power trip.
Some have done well. Others have gone into psychosis. It isn't easy to process the regrets and grief of the living. Other spirits are an entire universe of diversity.
I can only speak for myself. My colleagues know how much learning is a continuing process. We need emotional support.
My experiences were not something I shared with anyone who was not close to me. I only trusted very few others.
I've noticed younger psychics taking so many risks. I knew that revealing I was psychic in any form could have cost me my job, any promotions, and my professional credibility. So, I did not run around yelling, "I'm psychic."
I still found out one of my menial, and, I do mean menial (discount fashion industry) an employee was assigned to read all my online correspondence, and that included my online training as a psychic.
So, I had to change venues to telephone correspondence and astral training to protect myself and those involved. Their excuse was to check for potential thievery.
(BTW, I think it is unwise for supervisors to discuss employees' online exploits within earshot of those employees.I wasn't deaf and between my colleague and I, we concocted some very wild bs for their entertainment. It was supposed to be a big supervisor secret. Some of those assigned supervisors had religious beliefs that conflicted with mine to the extent I became alarmed due to their references to witch burnings.There was derision. Again. I'm not deaf.) It was that concerning.
Being me, I decided impulsively to write some things that should have been private, that were completely fabricated for their continued entertainment.) Be careful if you ever work for a corporation whose founder started selling ties door to door and who is now considered a great international philanthropist. (Your personal correspondence is not safe. They have your email addresses as a condition of employment.)
Only a few colleagues ever knew. Two principals, one librarian, and two other teachers.
Other than that, I kept my knowledge base guarded.
I've noticed I can't go anywhere where there are no spirits, and the more I learn, the more I understand that spirits are as diverse as all of nature. I've noticed that there is an increased interest in psychic abilities(which is lovely) as well an increase in the numbers of individuals who have so emotional baggage that delving headfirst in the maelstrom that is spirit work, is overwhelming in its complexity and the problems that it creates for young psychics.
I spent eight years at one school where I did not reveal myself until a colleague complained that she had permission from one other principal to do some ghost hunting over a weekend. She said she heard nothing and only caught one orb(insect) in two days.
I was two weeks from the end of my contract there. I looked at her and asked if she wanted excerpts from my spirit interaction there, the cemetery next door, and to know where the bodies (were quite literally. buried Poltergeist movie style,) on school grounds.
She asked why I hadn't told anyone. I told her my career had been important to me.and it was about service to others, not to showcasing my skills.
I wish beginning and intermediate psychics understood the extent to which going public could impact their lives.
This has occupied me for about a week.
submitted by RicottaPuffs to RicottaPuffs [link] [comments]
I discovered that as the years have passed, that I am much more aware of spirit than I was earlier. Of course, I have more time now to explore. I sought more training and taught myself a great deal.
The sheer number of spirits is astounding. The lines for me between those in this dimension and others are less distinct. So, I have had to learn discernment to sort most of them. Some defy descriptions and placement.
When I began, there were no real resources in print other than a Hans Holzer book about ghosts and a few books, such as the tomes written/dictated by the wife and son of Edgar Cayce
Shamanism and mediumship were not as accessible as they are now. They are considered a years long process for reasons that involve self-assessment and safety.
The experiences of the newer and younger mediums are influenced by a much broader selection of resources. Some few are good. Some are utter nonsense and IMO dangerous. This includes DIY vids on YouTube. Instant development is not a thing. Chanting and meditation and following "how to" instructions on video feeds are risky. Even mentors who offer services to increase psychic abilities need to be evaluated as motivation.
For example, I know a few hopefuls who have fallen prey to mentors whose primary goal was sexual conquest, cult recruitment, and other nefarious purposes.Some become victims of the mentors, financially Some are helping their mentors power trip.
Some have done well. Others have gone into psychosis. It isn't easy to process the regrets and grief of the living. Other spirits are an entire universe of diversity.
I can only speak for myself. My colleagues know how much learning is a continuing process. We need emotional support.
My experiences were not something I shared with anyone who was not close to me. I only trusted very few others.
I've noticed younger psychics taking so many risks. I knew that revealing I was psychic in any form could have cost me my job, any promotions, and my professional credibility. So, I did not run around yelling, "I'm psychic."
I still found out one of my menial, and, I do mean menial (discount fashion industry) an employee was assigned to read all my online correspondence, and that included my online training as a psychic.
So, I had to change venues to telephone correspondence and astral training to protect myself and those involved. Their excuse was to check for potential thievery.
(BTW, I think it is unwise for supervisors to discuss employees' online exploits within earshot of those employees.I wasn't deaf and between my colleague and I, we concocted some very wild bs for their entertainment. It was supposed to be a big supervisor secret. Some of those assigned supervisors had religious beliefs that conflicted with mine to the extent I became alarmed due to their references to witch burnings.There was derision. Again. I'm not deaf.) It was that concerning.
Being me, I decided impulsively to write some things that should have been private, that were completely fabricated for their continued entertainment.) Be careful if you ever work for a corporation whose founder started selling ties door to door and who is now considered a great international philanthropist. (Your personal correspondence is not safe. They have your email addresses as a condition of employment.)
Only a few colleagues ever knew. Two principals, one librarian, and two other teachers.
Other than that, I kept my knowledge base guarded.
I've noticed I can't go anywhere where there are no spirits, and the more I learn, the more I understand that spirits are as diverse as all of nature. I've noticed that there is an increased interest in psychic abilities(which is lovely) as well an increase in the numbers of individuals who have so emotional baggage that delving headfirst in the maelstrom that is spirit work, is overwhelming in its complexity and the problems that it creates for young psychics.
I spent eight years at one school where I did not reveal myself until a colleague complained that she had permission from one other principal to do some ghost hunting over a weekend. She said she heard nothing and only caught one orb(insect) in two days.
I was two weeks from the end of my contract there. I looked at her and asked if she wanted excerpts from my spirit interaction there, the cemetery next door, and to know where the bodies (were quite literally. buried Poltergeist movie style,) on school grounds.
She asked why I hadn't told anyone. I told her my career had been important to me.and it was about service to others, not to showcasing my skills.
I wish beginning and intermediate psychics understood the extent to which going public could impact their lives.
This has occupied me for about a week.
2024.05.11 11:19 insdnew From Sketch to Success: Fashion Designing, Graphic Design, & MBA in Fashion Designing Courses in Pune
Introduction:
Pune, known for its rich cultural heritage and educational institutions, is a hub for creative minds looking to pursue a career in fashion and design. Among the myriad options available, the International School of Design (INSD) Pune stands out as a premier institute offering comprehensive courses in Fashion Designing, Graphic Design, and MBA in Fashion Designing. In this guide, we'll explore these courses in detail, highlighting the key features, curriculum, and career prospects they offer.
Fashion Designing Courses in Pune at INSD:
INSD Pune offers a range of fashion designing courses catering to students with different levels of expertise and interests. From short-term diploma courses to comprehensive degree programs, the institute provides a holistic learning experience. Students learn the fundamentals of fashion design, including sketching, pattern making, garment construction, and textile science. The courses also cover topics like fashion marketing, merchandising, and portfolio development, preparing students for a successful career in the fashion industry.
INSD Pune offers a wide range of fashion designing courses to cater to the diverse needs of students. Whether you're a beginner looking to start your journey in the world of fashion or a professional seeking to enhance your skills, INSD Pune has something for everyone.
Diploma in Fashion Designing:
This course is perfect for beginners who want to learn the basics of fashion designing. It covers topics such as fashion illustration, garment construction, and textile design.
Advanced Diploma in Fashion Designing:
For those looking to delve deeper into the world of fashion, this course offers advanced knowledge and skills in areas such as fashion merchandising, fashion forecasting, and fashion marketing.
Bachelor's Degree in Fashion Designing:
INSD Pune also offers a comprehensive bachelor's degree program in fashion designing, which covers all aspects of fashion design, from conceptualization to production.
Master's Degree in Fashion Designing:
For those seeking to specialize further, INSD Pune offers a master's degree program in fashion designing, focusing on areas such as fashion technology, sustainable fashion, and fashion management.
Learn Graphic Design Course in Pune at INSD:
Graphic design plays a crucial role in today's digital world, and INSD Pune offers specialized courses to help students master this art. The institute's graphic design courses cover a wide range of topics, including typography, image editing, branding, and layout design. Students also learn software tools like Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign, equipping them with the skills needed to create visually appealing designs for print and digital media.
Graphic design is an essential skill in today's digital age, and INSD Pune offers top-notch graphic design courses to help you master this skill.
Diploma in Graphic Design:
This course covers the fundamentals of graphic design, including typography, layout design, and image editing.
Advanced Diploma in Graphic Design:
For those looking to advance their skills, this course offers in-depth knowledge of graphic design software, web design, and animation.
Bachelor's Degree in Graphic Design:
INSD Pune also offers a bachelor's degree program in graphic design, which covers advanced topics such as branding, advertising, and user experience design.
Master's Degree in Graphic Design:
For those seeking to specialize further, INSD Pune offers a master's degree program in graphic design, focusing on areas such as interactive design, motion graphics, and design management.
MBA in Fashion Designing at INSD Pune:
For those looking to combine their passion for fashion with business acumen, INSD Pune offers an MBA program in Fashion Designing. This course provides students with a comprehensive understanding of the fashion industry, including marketing strategies, supply chain management, and brand management. Students also learn about the latest trends and technologies shaping the fashion industry, preparing them for leadership roles in this dynamic field.
INSD Pune also offers an MBA program in fashion designing, which is designed to equip students with the business acumen and leadership skills needed to succeed in the fashion industry.
Core MBA Courses:
The MBA program at INSD Pune covers core business subjects such as marketing, finance, and human resource management, tailored to the needs of the fashion industry.
Specialization in Fashion Designing:
In addition to core business courses, the MBA program at INSD Pune offers specialized courses in fashion designing, such as fashion entrepreneurship, fashion retail management, and fashion supply chain management.
Industry Exposure:
INSD Pune provides students with ample opportunities for industry exposure, including internships, industry visits, and guest lectures from industry experts.
Career Prospects:
Graduates of INSD Pune's fashion designing, graphic design, and MBA programs have excellent career prospects. They can work as fashion designers, graphic designers, fashion merchandisers, fashion stylists, fashion consultants, and more. The institute's strong industry connections and placement assistance ensure that students have access to exciting job opportunities in leading fashion houses, design studios, advertising agencies, and corporate firms.
Conclusion:
INSD Pune stands as a beacon of excellence in the realm of design education, offering a comprehensive range of courses tailored to meet the evolving needs of the industry. Whether you aspire to become a fashion designer, graphic artist, or fashion entrepreneur, INSD Pune provides the necessary resources and guidance to help you achieve your goals. By enrolling in Fashion Designing, Graphic Design, or MBA in Fashion Designing courses at INSD Pune, you embark on a journey of discovery and growth, paving the way for a rewarding career in the creative and business domains. Unlock your potential and shape your future with INSD Pune.
submitted by insdnew to u/insdnew [link] [comments]
Pune, known for its rich cultural heritage and educational institutions, is a hub for creative minds looking to pursue a career in fashion and design. Among the myriad options available, the International School of Design (INSD) Pune stands out as a premier institute offering comprehensive courses in Fashion Designing, Graphic Design, and MBA in Fashion Designing. In this guide, we'll explore these courses in detail, highlighting the key features, curriculum, and career prospects they offer.
Fashion Designing Courses in Pune at INSD:
INSD Pune offers a range of fashion designing courses catering to students with different levels of expertise and interests. From short-term diploma courses to comprehensive degree programs, the institute provides a holistic learning experience. Students learn the fundamentals of fashion design, including sketching, pattern making, garment construction, and textile science. The courses also cover topics like fashion marketing, merchandising, and portfolio development, preparing students for a successful career in the fashion industry.
INSD Pune offers a wide range of fashion designing courses to cater to the diverse needs of students. Whether you're a beginner looking to start your journey in the world of fashion or a professional seeking to enhance your skills, INSD Pune has something for everyone.
Diploma in Fashion Designing:
This course is perfect for beginners who want to learn the basics of fashion designing. It covers topics such as fashion illustration, garment construction, and textile design.
Advanced Diploma in Fashion Designing:
For those looking to delve deeper into the world of fashion, this course offers advanced knowledge and skills in areas such as fashion merchandising, fashion forecasting, and fashion marketing.
Bachelor's Degree in Fashion Designing:
INSD Pune also offers a comprehensive bachelor's degree program in fashion designing, which covers all aspects of fashion design, from conceptualization to production.
Master's Degree in Fashion Designing:
For those seeking to specialize further, INSD Pune offers a master's degree program in fashion designing, focusing on areas such as fashion technology, sustainable fashion, and fashion management.
Learn Graphic Design Course in Pune at INSD:
Graphic design plays a crucial role in today's digital world, and INSD Pune offers specialized courses to help students master this art. The institute's graphic design courses cover a wide range of topics, including typography, image editing, branding, and layout design. Students also learn software tools like Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign, equipping them with the skills needed to create visually appealing designs for print and digital media.
Graphic design is an essential skill in today's digital age, and INSD Pune offers top-notch graphic design courses to help you master this skill.
Diploma in Graphic Design:
This course covers the fundamentals of graphic design, including typography, layout design, and image editing.
Advanced Diploma in Graphic Design:
For those looking to advance their skills, this course offers in-depth knowledge of graphic design software, web design, and animation.
Bachelor's Degree in Graphic Design:
INSD Pune also offers a bachelor's degree program in graphic design, which covers advanced topics such as branding, advertising, and user experience design.
Master's Degree in Graphic Design:
For those seeking to specialize further, INSD Pune offers a master's degree program in graphic design, focusing on areas such as interactive design, motion graphics, and design management.
MBA in Fashion Designing at INSD Pune:
For those looking to combine their passion for fashion with business acumen, INSD Pune offers an MBA program in Fashion Designing. This course provides students with a comprehensive understanding of the fashion industry, including marketing strategies, supply chain management, and brand management. Students also learn about the latest trends and technologies shaping the fashion industry, preparing them for leadership roles in this dynamic field.
INSD Pune also offers an MBA program in fashion designing, which is designed to equip students with the business acumen and leadership skills needed to succeed in the fashion industry.
Core MBA Courses:
The MBA program at INSD Pune covers core business subjects such as marketing, finance, and human resource management, tailored to the needs of the fashion industry.
Specialization in Fashion Designing:
In addition to core business courses, the MBA program at INSD Pune offers specialized courses in fashion designing, such as fashion entrepreneurship, fashion retail management, and fashion supply chain management.
Industry Exposure:
INSD Pune provides students with ample opportunities for industry exposure, including internships, industry visits, and guest lectures from industry experts.
Career Prospects:
Graduates of INSD Pune's fashion designing, graphic design, and MBA programs have excellent career prospects. They can work as fashion designers, graphic designers, fashion merchandisers, fashion stylists, fashion consultants, and more. The institute's strong industry connections and placement assistance ensure that students have access to exciting job opportunities in leading fashion houses, design studios, advertising agencies, and corporate firms.
Conclusion:
INSD Pune stands as a beacon of excellence in the realm of design education, offering a comprehensive range of courses tailored to meet the evolving needs of the industry. Whether you aspire to become a fashion designer, graphic artist, or fashion entrepreneur, INSD Pune provides the necessary resources and guidance to help you achieve your goals. By enrolling in Fashion Designing, Graphic Design, or MBA in Fashion Designing courses at INSD Pune, you embark on a journey of discovery and growth, paving the way for a rewarding career in the creative and business domains. Unlock your potential and shape your future with INSD Pune.
2024.05.11 05:06 joeytthegoat Friend changes resume, I’ve never noticed
So this story starts way back in around 2009/2010.
Apologies if this doesn’t read well, first post and all that. Anyway, in around 2009/2010 I had just finished high school in the UK. Being around 16 and desperate to break away from the clutches of my parent’s generosity I decided it was time to jump into the adult world and get a job.
Back then emailing was an adult thing and online job applications were only just breaking through, so, for the most part it was a paper resume or C.V (in the uk) handed out to shops and businesses with all your qualifications and experience written down.
We didn’t have a printer so I would have to put it on a usb stick and give it to my friend to kindly print off at his for me, before then getting them back and wandering around the local area handing them to shopkeepers and businesses in the hope that someone will give me a job.
Anyway, my friend did this for me and printed me off around 100 C.Vs and off I went.
NOTHING. Not a sausage of interest. This went on for a few months, before finally I landed a job at a local sports centre. All was well, I worked there for a bit before moving on to other things with the same C.V plus adding in new experience.
Fast forward to 2024. I’m not 32, engaged, mortgage, 2 kids and working through a blissful career earning good money. I guess what some would call “the American dream” (paying more tax than I’d like). I’m being hounded by the mrs to get myself in the loft and get the suitcases down as we’re taking the kids on holiday.
I come across this small blue plastic folder with plenty of paper inside. I have a Quick Look through and it appears to be my old C.Vs. I get them out and sit on the beam of the loft reading through the paper, reminiscing all the old jobs and experiences I gathered to get me where I am today.
Lo and behold about 15 lines into it “WELL ENDOWED” written, hidden in between being a team player and working efficiently. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve spent the last 20 or so years handing out resume’s with well endowed written on. I asked my friend and he said he thought it was funny (which it is) and he thought I would have noticed but it had gone on too long so he just assumed I’d stopped using them.
Got some great jobs with that.
Proof they don’t always look at your experiences.
submitted by joeytthegoat to funny [link] [comments]
Apologies if this doesn’t read well, first post and all that. Anyway, in around 2009/2010 I had just finished high school in the UK. Being around 16 and desperate to break away from the clutches of my parent’s generosity I decided it was time to jump into the adult world and get a job.
Back then emailing was an adult thing and online job applications were only just breaking through, so, for the most part it was a paper resume or C.V (in the uk) handed out to shops and businesses with all your qualifications and experience written down.
We didn’t have a printer so I would have to put it on a usb stick and give it to my friend to kindly print off at his for me, before then getting them back and wandering around the local area handing them to shopkeepers and businesses in the hope that someone will give me a job.
Anyway, my friend did this for me and printed me off around 100 C.Vs and off I went.
NOTHING. Not a sausage of interest. This went on for a few months, before finally I landed a job at a local sports centre. All was well, I worked there for a bit before moving on to other things with the same C.V plus adding in new experience.
Fast forward to 2024. I’m not 32, engaged, mortgage, 2 kids and working through a blissful career earning good money. I guess what some would call “the American dream” (paying more tax than I’d like). I’m being hounded by the mrs to get myself in the loft and get the suitcases down as we’re taking the kids on holiday.
I come across this small blue plastic folder with plenty of paper inside. I have a Quick Look through and it appears to be my old C.Vs. I get them out and sit on the beam of the loft reading through the paper, reminiscing all the old jobs and experiences I gathered to get me where I am today.
Lo and behold about 15 lines into it “WELL ENDOWED” written, hidden in between being a team player and working efficiently. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve spent the last 20 or so years handing out resume’s with well endowed written on. I asked my friend and he said he thought it was funny (which it is) and he thought I would have noticed but it had gone on too long so he just assumed I’d stopped using them.
Got some great jobs with that.
Proof they don’t always look at your experiences.
2024.05.11 01:13 WTFisjuice1 Finally looking for the help I needed
I've dealt with ADHD since childhood and used to be on Ritalin and Adderall but as I grew into my teens stopped taking it and just kinda dealt with it never really noticing it affect me at that age period, now that I'm almost 30 I've noticed all of the symptoms I was oblivious to before since I have so many responsibilities nowadays with my family growing, trying to pursue a new career that gets me home everyday, and just overall calms me down for my own sanity and my wife's lol, after finally reaching my "what do I do anymore" point my wife finally suggested i try and reach out and get a referral to see someone from my doctor, we'll I just got off the phone with my new psychiatrist and she was so in depth with her questionnaire that it shocked me how she knew these things about me that I couldn't even articulate to anyone, point is I go for my first appointment later this month and this felt like a small victory I'm proud of for the first time in a while, I go to therapy and listen to podcasts on the subject, but I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens with this new step forward.
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