Whos the girl on esurance commerical
The tacos are always fresh, the tequila is always Patròn, and the trousers are always optional.
2018.09.19 23:01 quirkyblogger The tacos are always fresh, the tequila is always Patròn, and the trousers are always optional.
This is a community dedicated to body positivity, self-confidence, and just generally owning the hell out of whatever space we're in. We think waiting until that magical "Someday, when I ______" is utter nonsense, and we're all about helping other women embrace a "live NOW" life. Sound good? Join us. :)
2019.05.19 09:42 Kawaii_Loli_Imouto Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai
Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai Imouza My Friend's Little Sister is Only Annoying to Me - Light Novel, Manga. TV ANIME in works as well
2016.05.26 03:12 Actually, my dad knows him
FUCK YOU I AAAAAAAINT HAVING THAT SHIT
2023.07.16 17:00 _call-me-al_ [Sun, Jul 16 2023] TL;DR — This is what you missed in the last 24 hours on Reddit
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worldnews
Zelenskyy says quick end to war directly depends on global supportComments Link
Ukraine Rejects Bulgarian President’s Claims That Kyiv Is to Be Blamed for Russia’s Ongoing War
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Europe heatwave: Italy braces for potential record high temperatures of 49 degrees
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news
Twitter has lost 50% in ad revenue and is now cash flow negative.Comments Link
Cruise line apologizes after dozens of whales slaughtered in front of passengers
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Thai cave survivor reunites with rescuer at high school graduation 5 years later
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science
Webb May Have Spotted Supermassive Dark Stars. The ‘dark stars' are theorized to be made of hydrogen and helium but powered by dark matter heating rather than by nuclear fusion. Dark matter is the mysterious substance that makes up about 25% of the universe.Comments Link
Astronomers found an ultra-hot exoplanet that acts like a mirror, reflecting 80% of the light shone on it by its host star. The reason for its high reflectivity is that it is covered by metallic clouds made of silicate and titanium.
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Earth’s Day was a Constant 19.5 Hours for Almost 1.5 Billion Years, Study Says. Without this billion-year pause in the slowing of our planet’s rotation, our current 24-hour day would stretch to over 60 hours.
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space
Rugged Mars has taken big bites out of the Curiosity rover's wheels. Credit: NASA/JPL-CaltechComments Link
Fog this morning was so dense that the sunspots were visible by naked eye, picture taken with normal phone
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I gave my best shot at capturing the Pillars of Creation from my own backyard! [OC]
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Futurology
Scientists at Newcastle University have invented a new type of construction. They've used fungi to grow a 3D free-standing structure, and say the technique could be used to grow larger buildings.Comments Link
Renewable energy deployment surge puts global power system on track for the IEA’s ambitious net-zero pathway
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Pulsar Fusion begins construction of nuclear fusion rocket engine
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AskReddit
Who's the Most Dangerous Human Alive Right Now?Comments Link
What common “sexy” thing is a turn-off for you personally?
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What worst possible reply to “I love you”?
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todayilearned
TIL There are consumers who are known as Harbingers of Failure. They have a knack for buying products that turn out to be market flops. "when the harbingers buy a product at least three times, it’s really bad news: The probability of success for that product drops 56 percent."Comments Link
TIL Chocolate chip cookies are only 85 years old.
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TIL The Atari 2600 game "Extra Terrestrials" is almost unknown. Only 100 were produced and they were sold door to door locally in Ontario
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dataisbeautiful
[OC] Higher and lower than average weekend temperatures in the USComments Link
[OC]Canadian Province/territory subreddit to population ratio
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[OC] Market Share of Commerical Aircraft Engine Manufactures 2023
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Cooking
My 21 year old daughter is moving out soon. She loves to cook and excellent at it. She's nervous about going out on her own and I want to soften the anxiety by stocking her pantry with basics + special extras. Hit me with your ideas.Comments Link
What are the strangest toppings that taste good on a breakfast egg sandwich?
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The most American food?
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food
[Homemade] Lunchwrap SupremeComments Link
[Homemade] Cream Cheese Garlic brioche buns
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[homemade] carbonara pasta
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movies
What movie did you expect it be “meh” but turned out to be really goodComments Link
Anyone think about that Adam Sandler movie ‘Click’ as often as I do or just me?
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I watched Denis villeneuve's Sicario ( 2015 ) and dear God I couldn't breathe
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Art
Lemons in a Plastic Bag, Larry Preston, Oil on Linen ACM, 2023Comments Link
StarGazer, Olly, mixed media/digital, 2023
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Vivid Skies, Dimitri Sirenko, Acrylic Painting, 2023
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television
SAG-AFTRA Strike: Negotiations Cratered Over AI, Streaming Revenue Sharing, Pay Hikes and More - The biggest sticking point is the union’s demand for 2% of the revenue generated by streaming showsComments Link
All episodes 'Ms Marvel' To Air On ABC. The first three episodes in the series will air on Saturday, 5th August, with the other three episodes being shown a week later on Saturday, 12th August.
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The writer's strike of 2007 killed a ton of shows. Or shortened seasons that were meant to be longer. What current shows do you think will be shortened or canceled because of this year's writers/actor's strike?
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pics
John Oliver is burning my 5000 reddit coins for rewards come get them while they are hotComments Link
John Oliver says I have ~14,000 coins, who wants 'em
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John Oliver says I should burn my coins, 15k of gold for those who reply, First come first serve.
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gifs
Here's something to brighten up your dayComments Link
Enemy Blinder 3000
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educationalgifs
How a mechanical watch worksComments Link
Lastspiral shaped gear moves so fast it looks like a glitch
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mildlyinteresting
Apply to be a moderator of /mildlyinterestingComments Link
interestingasfuck
funny
The ultimate weaponComments Link
James Acaster's comic timing never fails to impress
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One great minute of Larry David vs Seth Rogan on curb
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aww
Show me it! Show me it! (Knock knock!)Comments Link
My dog Bentley yawning.
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Rainy day ennui with John Oliver
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2022.09.05 16:27 ExcuseMeWTF50 "The Story So Far" (My Universe's Timeline/Story Recap)
Hey guys, sorry for basically dissappearing again but anyways, I've wanted to make this for a little while now to clear up some things for those who have read my stories and to oversimplify them, maybe introduce new commers to what I've been working on and as something for me to look back on so I can mantain continuity. From time to time I'll update things as the lore progresses, there a few things I've decided to leave out as I'm either not 100% how I'm going to implement them yet/am saving them for the future.
1956 - A local mortician, Mortis is bitten by a bat, causing him to turn into a vampire. He secludes himself from humanity, moving into what is now known as the mortuary where he meets Frank. The two agree to live in unison.
1964 - The Starr Corporation is founded in Japan, specializing in a multitude of products, including robotics.
1966 - Starr Park is created and soon after is condemed due to poor conditions. Starr Corporation resumes previous operations with it's heavy emphasis on investing in the re-opening of Starr Park.
The first line of fully functional robots are released into the public, created by Starr Corporation. They serve in roles just like humans. Public opinion on them is mixed.
1970 - One of the oldest bots in circulation, Barley opens his tavern.
1993 - The Goldarm gang is formed, uniting the lower class of the south together in favor of a criminal lifestyle. Beliefs include equality between humans and robots and loyalty above all else, spearheaded by it's leader and former sheriff, Calamity.
1994 - Belle Goldhand and Sam Bronson meet eachother whilst both were working in a factory, falling in love almost immediately.
1995 - Due to increased industrialization, dependence on robots has increased, costing thousands to lose their jobs including Belle and Sam. The two form an unbreakable hatred for robots soon after, believing them to be inferior to humans.
Sam and Belle resort to a life of crime in order to make ends meet, going on a crime spree across the south and with their noteriety eventually taking them to the Goldarm gang.
1996 - Belle and Sam tie the knot and have a son. The two come at a crossroads where Belle pushes to mold him under a life of crime in the Goldarms while Sam wants to leave them out of it completely, fearing for the safety of their child.
Belle and Sam come to an agreement to abandon their son with hopes of reuniting later in the future. The son is soon adopted by a retired sheriff and his wife. They instill a strong sense of justice and morality in the boy. He is named Colt, after his adoptive father.
1997 - Belle expresses interests in engineering, being able to use scrap and turn them into handy inventions including a shock rifle, enhanced bear traps, security systems, knuckle busters and limb replacements. She hacks off her left arm and replaces it with one that can handle the recoil of her brand new invention.
The Goldarms wage war with rival gang, the Junker Clan over control of the criminal underworld in the south, causing unrest for it's residents.
1999 - An unknown bounty hunter is caught in between the two waring gangs. After grueling battle after grueling battle, he is able to take down the Goldarms, the Junkers and their leaders, leaving the hunter fatally injured.
Nearly all the Junkers are gone but one, the last of the clan, a child named Pam uses the base of operations as a place to call her home, converting it into a scrapyard. She uses her talents to help those in need using all she's learned from her predecessors.
With all the higher ups gone and a chunk of the gang missing, including Sam, there's a huge power vacuum in the Goldarm gang. A grieving yet paranoid Belle takes over the Goldarms as it's defacto leader and puts an emphasis on cyberization, non-lethality and blind loyalty. She destroys the remaining robot members of the Goldarms, changing the culture in one fowl swoop, ruling the criminal underworld with an iron fist and an eye always on the back of her head. Many enemies of the Goldarms flee to Mexico.
2000 - A robot bounty hunter codenamed 'Ricochet' appears in the south. His personality is a lot more closer to a human than robot. He hunts down criminals like the Goldarms one step and one payment at a time.
2001 - A living skeleton has become quite the celebrity in a crime ridden Mexico, he's able to heal the wounded with his guitar and creates music to inspire those around the world, including a young Piper De La Prim.
2003 - A hopeful entrepreneur Mr.P starts his business, specializing in hotels, trains, and flights. He recruits a friend of the family, Gale as his first employee.
2004 - Piper begins her career as a ballerina. Despite her talents, the strict environment eventually causes her to begin searching for a new career path.
2005 - A colony made up of scientists on the moon successfully genetically alter a dog to have human characteristics, a high-functioning brain, the ability to speak, and walk on two legs. In an attempt to escape captivity, the dog is accidentally launched into outer space on a high speed space ship. Due to the high speeds, a wormhole opens up and the dog finds itself in a world like no other. After some time, it adopts the name of Col. Ruffs, a grizzled and highly intelligent military commander.
2006 - A little boy named Gus follows magic balloons onto a mysterious train ride and is never seen again, causing a massive controversy for Mr.P.
2008 - The tribal warrior Bo finds two infants up on a tree, crying in a nest whilst hiking. After rescuing them, he adopts the two and envelops them with the spirit of a bear and chameleon respectively. The siblings are given special abilities surrounding the animals, they are named Leon and Nita. The two live a sheltered childhood together.
2009 - Piper enlists into the military during a war as an excuse to escape her career as a ballerina. The experience would begin to change and mold her into someone else entirely with her weapon of choice during this time being the sniper rifle.
2010 - A Talented yet very fame hungry luchador is caught in the radius of a crashing meteor. He's given super-human abilities and goes by the name of El Primo. Whilst wanting to use his power for the good of his people, he is told not to get involved with crime as it would be "Bad PR". Nevertheless, El Primo becomes a wildly popular luchador in his own right.
2011 - An orphaned, teenaged bandit begins making moves in Mexico, taking from both the rich and poor. She's nicknamed "Shelly" by the locals for her use of a shotgun and has seemingly made an enemy out of everyone but still, no one can catch this thief.
After finishing her service, Piper returns home and is stricken by grief from the fact that her mother has passed. Soon after, she follows in her father's footsteps and becomes a spy. While she lives for glory and to impress her father, each life she takes weighs heavily on her conscious.
2012 - A young adventurer named Scarlett discovers a magical lamp in a cave, she uses it and is cursed by an evil genie who then dissappears. Initially not realizing what had happened to her, she lives her life as normal until discovering her left hand had begun glowing and in time resembled that of a devil's.
After being disowned by not only her community but her own family, she wanders the world relying on thievery to survive and hoping one day, she can take revenge on the one who wronged her.
Bill 'Bull' Blanco attempts to leave behind a life of crime to kickstart a diner in the city of sin known as Retropolis. Despite his best attempts, Bull caves in and creates his very own biker gang initially to defend the diner from other criminals, slowly but surely getting himself back into a life of crime.
2013 - A mysterious, human-like crow shows up in Retropolis one day, he makes a ruckus in Bull's diner before reluctantly joining the biker gang. He's a control freak, always wanting to do things his way and won't be afraid to pull some strings to get it.
2014 - A street urchin named Penny attempts to hitch a ride off of a trio of pirate's ship. After being found out, the leader reaches out to the girl and takes her under their wing wanting only a better life for her.
A botonist, Rosa is sent via military escort to study a rare but dangerous breed of plants in the deep jungles of South America. Things go wrong, badly and Rosa is left stranded after plants press an attack, she is saved when a spike plant latches onto and protects her.
After spending months punching plants in the face to survive, Rosa is eventually rescued and returned to her home in the United Kingdom. She continues her work in the field of botany, for now.
2015 - A robot prototype is created in an attempt to replicate Ricochet's ability to bounce bullets off of wall, codenamed 'Rico'. Soon after, the project would be shut down and the robot would lay dormant in an abandoned factory.
The daughter of a wealthy Japanese businessman and investor, Bibi begins to resent her family's teachings in order to find her purpose in life. She takes up illegal street fighting and street racing as past-times, unbeknownst to her father.
2016 - To fight off the rising crime rates of SuperCity, the government devises a plan to create the ultimate defense bot to protect the city. Surge would be created and given life like no other robot, he is able to feel emotions just like a human.
The group of pirates Penny is apart of rob the highly advanced city of Oasis. Among the riches are a bunch of green cubes which only Penny seems to take interest in. (I'll just leave this at that since I'd rather not spoil the story I'm currently working on)
After years of training, Colt lands the role of a Sheriff and gets to work in cleaning up the Goldarms' mess. Belle recognizes Colt and theorizes that he is her son. Not wanting for either to fight eachother, Belle tries her best to just stay away from Colt for now.
A few years has passed and Shelly has made quite the name for herself, rising up in the criminal underworld and dating one of the top crime lords in Mexico. To everyone, Shelly seems untouchable and there's nothing anyone could do about it.
Poco's popularity in the music has run out of steam with a rival band stealing his fame. Heartbroken but determined, Poco wanders Mexico helping however he can, hoping one day he can get back to being Mexico's mumber one artist.
After using previously stolen blue prints, Penny builds a prototype loader bot into one that specializes in explosives, aptly naming it Tick.
2017 - The robo mascot for a root beer company is stolen by Penny who then reconfigures the bot into becoming a pirate to aid her in adventures. She names him Darryl and arms him with two double-barrel shotguns. Penny is large and in charge of her very own pirate crew.
A freak accident causes an Arcade machine to become sentient. Local arcade streamer Brock opts to take care of the machine and the two become very good friends.
On one night, after an argument between her and her father, Bibi sneaks out for some street racing and after some shenanigans, criminal faction the Yakuza hunt Bibi down for allegedly owed money. With nowhere left to go, Bibi is shot in the shoulder and falls onto a boat, leaving her unconscious. She miraculously awakes in Retropolis, having to start a new life. Not even getting to reconcile with her father.
Bibi enters Bull's diner and meets with Crow and Bull who immediately takes her in as apart of his gang. Crow disagrees with the decision, believing she should have earned her place which is a grudge he continues to hold with tensions only rising over time. After a while, Bibi becomes shaped by her environment, leaving nothing but a girl who's tough as nails and hard as a rock, completely satisfied with living in Retropolis.
Rosa decides to move to the United States to train as a boxer as she's realized she's "bloody good" at it and to further the study of the plant that's been around her for three years now in the process.
2018 - After years of hidden paranoia and uncertainty, Piper's father is killed in a explosion cover up by the agency, unbenounced to her. Saddened and completely torn down by her grief, Piper retires and fakes her own death. Hoping to just live a normal life for now on, Piper opens up her own bake shop in a small, quiet town, making a new friend in Barley.
Everyone would be completely oblivious to the fact that Piper's father had too faked his death. He adopts the moniker of Byron, whitening his hair, growing facial hair, wearing contact lenses and adopting a more rough demeanor. Once a chemist, he creates potions and sells them at his own shop, usually scamming customers because "These cheeky little things cost me a pretty penny" usually only following through on his promises for those he truly feel need his remedies. Byron lives a nomadic lifestyle, moving from town-to-town and never for long up until he comes across the town Piper is living in of course...
The prototype for Rico is found in that abandoned factory and is mistaken for a pool bot thanks to it's design. It's sent off to the arcade where it is repurposed and finished into more of a playful kind of robot for kids to enjoy. Brock once again makes a friend in a robot.
Surge is properly put into service and cleans up the streets of SuperCity nicely. Most of the criminals flee to Retropolis.
The undead neice of Mortis, EMZ becomes internet famous after making contact with humans. She becomes an influencer much to Mortis' dissapointment.
2019 - Siblings Tara and Sandy explore a cave in search of a fabled genie who would not only bring them good luck, but would also grant them three wishes. To much of their surprise they do indeed find a lamp, however it's the wrong lamp and the two are cursed by Evil Gene. Tara is scarred, forced to cover up her face while Sandy is doomed to be sleepy nearly all the time.
After some time, Tara and Sandy unearth the real Gene who grants the two gifts to complement their burdens. Tara has access to dark magic, something she isn't too skilled with yet while Sandy has control over sand. The two leave home to run a bazaar and to hone their skills.
Longtime tour guide for Brawlywood, Lola, is given her first non-cameo on screen role. Something that would spark an obsession in her to always be in the limelight.
2020 - Wannabe superhero Maxine leaves the arcade in hopes of becoming one. She creates her own aerodynamic suit and enters a competition to become Surge's very own partner. She makes it to the finals against snobish rich kid, Maxwell. With the two both having super suits designed for superspeed, the two have a race to decide who gets the part. Knowing she is likely to be outmatched, Maxine cheats by gulping down energy drinks prior to the race and setting the seeds for an addiction. She handily wins and Surge blindly accepts Maxine, now rechristened as Max with Maxwell seeing right through her.
Despite wanting to help immediately, Surge simply believes Max isn't ready to fight crime yet and fears for her safety, believing she could use more fine tuning. Much to her disappointment, Max would undergo training and would train vigorously, day in, day out and each time she would be told that it simply wasn't good enough. Instead of fighting crime, Max is made the spokesperson for Surge energy drinks, now renamed as Max energy.
Rosa opens a job listing for an assistant to help around in her new 'biodome', a state of the art lab filled with all the desires of a any scientist. A young, scientific prodigy named Bea is chosen by Rosa to help around the lab and together they build Sprout, currently in it's prototype phase.
Tara comes in contact with Bo's tribe, becoming good friends with him. He helps her in getting her powers under control along with general guidance.
Starr Park is set for it's grand re-opening with it's first order of business pertaining to the gift shop, hiring local businessman Griff as it's manager who then recruits two high-school students Edgar and Colette under an unpaid intership. Griff would be given little to no financial backing and would almost always find himself in debt.
Internet famous stunt sisters Janet and Bonnie are hired into Starr Park under the stunt division. The two are adopted by the park's resident crash test dummy, Stu.
Mr.P is approached by Starr Corporation with an offer to merge. He declines but miraculously goes back on the offer at a later date.
During a trip to SuperCity, Jessie finds herself in peril only to be saved by Max. Max quickly makes a fan in Jessie and her mother, Pam. The two offer to help Max with her suit, upgrading both her helmet and blaster as a token of their gratitude. This experience fills Max's head with confidence like no other, believing herself more than capable of being a superhero.
Previously retired miner Dynamike, his granddaughter Jacky, and Carl are all hired to explore the gem mines as there seems to be huge boom in valuable resource's availability.
2021 - ("The Wish") Penny, Darryl and Tick catch wind of the existence of Gene with Penny seeking the lamp for herself. After months of searching, the pirates find the lamp and once again it's the wrong lamp. Instead of cursing them, Evil Gene decides to play into this, disguising himself as Gene, sensing a plan. Penny asks for unlimited wishes which he grants.
Tara recieves a vision that the lamp has been reused, noticing that the constang wishing is tearing holes in reality. She wastes no time trying to stop Penny, gathering Sandy, Bo, Leon, Nita and Surge and the rag-tag group attempt an ambush to get the lamp away from Penny who manages to escape by thr skin of her teeth. Penny continues to gloss over the needs of her friends as she becomes obssessive over control.
After a few more unsuccessful battles and attempts, Team Tara (yeah, might aswell make up something) tracks down Penny who is tricked into setting Evil Gene free. Penny escapes with her crew, just barely and leaving Team Tara to battle. Before being allowed back onto the ship, Darryl and Tick confront her over their mistreatment and leav Penny behind. With tears in her eyes, Penny breaks down as the only things she had left abandon her, she proclaims them as traitors but deep down inside she just wants to see them again. Darryl and Tick roam the seven seas, attempting to live a mostly peaceful life.
Tara is able to take down Evil Gene with the aid of Gene, after a prolonged battle. She uses her wishes to banish Evil Gene and the revival of a fallen Sandy, something that goes against the rules of wishing. Despite things seemingly going back to normal, more and more rifts in reality start pulling versions of brawlers from other universes. The most notable being Misfortune Tara, Quickdraw Edgar, El Rudo Primo, Demonic Bo and Archvillian Bea. With the use of her dark magic, MF Tara (haha) brings back Evil Gene and the group devise a plan to takeover this world they were flicked into, lead by Primo.
("Shadows") Living the life she's been wanting for years, Piper is suddenly blackmailed into rejoining the agency for one last mission. She does it and she's free forever, so she reluctantly accepts. She is sent to Mexico as a part in the masterful plan to take out and retrieve intel from Mexico's most powerful crimelord and boyfriend to Shelly, 'Stitch'.
Along with Poco, Amber, and El Primo all get into the mansion as forms of entertainment all so Piper could get in close and personal for the kill. Things go wrong, Shelly and Piper get into a scuffle before handily knocking her out then taking out Stitch for a sloppy kill, prior to his death, he let's word slip out that he was paid to kill Piper. Piper retrieves the intel and takes a look inside, revealing a whole bunch of previously hidden information to her, including the fact that her father was in fact 'killed' on purpose. She remains oblivious to everything until her trip back home where she confronts the one responsible for all this, 'The Director'. She shoots and grazes his shoulder, narrowly escaping the building.
Colt is then hired to take in Piper and after some, ahem 'bonding', Colt manages to capture a worn down Piper and sends her back. Just before her execution, Byron intervenes and saves Piper.
("Vengeance") (I'm also still halfway done writing this so screw you, not spoiling anything)
With the only person keeping her in power gone, Shelly fleas from Mexico after a hit is put out on her, seeking refuge up north. She joins the Goldarms, more out of obligation than anything. Shelly and Belle don't exactly see eye to eye with Belle feeling she's untrustworthy thanks to the reputation she's built up over the years. Shelly holds a grudge against Piper as she views her as the one responsible for her situation.
("Game Over") A meteor crash lands on Earth, carrying an alien-like goo that leaks out. An oblivious 8-Bit is taken over by it and goes missing. The virus feeds off of 8-Bit's evergrowing frustrations with the arcade goers who have tormented him and uses it as fuel.
Still in training, Max finally has enough and storms off from Surge who opts not to go after her, hoping for her to cool down and come back. Max takes a stroll through the city, looking for danger in hopes to prove herself and danger she found. She hears pleas for help from a child and saves her from an odd looking bot. The two formally meet eachother with the child introducing herself as Meg. After Max takes her back to the academy, she recieves a call from Surge who informs her of some good news.
Strange signals were being cast from an abandoned tower in the city and no matter what, Max and Surge would work as a team to deal with this. Max hurries over and meets up with Surge at the tower, nothing seems too out of the ordinary until the dynamic duo reach the top of the tower. Max and Surge find Virus 8-Bit, who summons a bunch of infected robots at them. Fighting from top to bottom of the tower and just when it seems like Max and Surge are on the same page once again, Max is forced to leave Surge behind, tearfully retreating back home.
With the future uncertain, Max sends a message to the Junkers, asking them to send help to the city if she failed. After a few days preparing, Max sets her sights on taking down the virus once and for all. Noticing a glowing beacon in the sky, Max runs over to it and is surrounded by nothing but screens of Virus 8-Bit, who mocks and berates Max for her naivety before sending a now infected Surge to fight in his place.
Not wanting to hurt her friend but seeing no other option, Max does her best to try and neutralize Surge without completely destroying him. After an even enough battle, Max shatters the energy tank on Surge's body. He lifts Max up, attempting to strangle her with an unbreakable iron grasp but right before Max succumbs, he falls unconscious. A worn yet battle ready Max the virus to face her, an offer he gleefully accepts, grabbing Max and teleporting them both into the digital world.
Now completely outmatched, Max goes toe-to-toe with Virus 8-Bit using her speed to outmeanuver his attacks. Despite the fact that she's dodging everything the virus throws at her, she can't even make a dent in it, she's wearing down and Virus 8-Bit knows it. In a last ditch attempt to stop him, Max climbs on top of the corrupted arcade only to swatted away. Despite having her exactly where he wants her, Virus 8-Bit gloats about his inevitable victory. Max slowly rises back to her feet, fueled by her determination and the last of her energy drink, she manages to put an end to the virus by driving her hand through it's cartridge port and tearing the power source right out.
With the day seemingly won, Max rests now that this nightmare is over, or so she thought. The arcade's screen turns back on, mocking Max for believing she ever had a chance. It reveals that all it's been doing was toying with Max and now plans to use her body to carry out the rest of it's plan. Max watches helplessly as her weak, battered body is taken over with no end to this in sight. The virus feeds off of Max's inner doubts as fuel for it's hatred. With no physical body and a digital one broken beyond repair, 8-Bit's conscious is stuck in the digital world.
A few days pass as Brock arrives in SuperCity in search of 8-Bit. The city seems to be completely abandoned by now overrun by all the infected robots. Brock meets up with Colt, Jessie and Pam in search of either Max, Surge, and 8-Bit. With the use of a tracker, Surge's decommissioned body is found and returned back home. He is given a sample of the anti-virus repairing him.
Irate and dissapointed in himself about the fact that he not only failed to protect Max, but his entire city, Surge immediately storms off in search of a fight with Brock and Colt giving chase soon after. While in the streets of SuperCity, Surge is blindsided by gas and from it steps out his assailant, Max. The now corrupted Max attacks Surge, who refuses to fight back, only trying to reason with her, thinking his friend is still somewhere in there. Before the final blow could strike, Brock and Colt intervene and save Surge. Before dissappearing back into the night, Max tilts her head and smiles at Brock, who's stunned to see her like this, and then swiftly vanishes into the night.
A few more close calls later, including the infection of Jessie and the development of a new anti-virus and after an agonizing battle, Surge is the last one standing, staring face-to-face across the battlefield against his infected friend turned foe. The two give eachother all they have with the fight ending with Max latching onto and tearing off one of Surge's arms, she runs in to finish the job then Surge teleports behind and injects her with the anti-virus. He watches as the virus physically seperates itself from Max, taking on a form of it's own before retreating. Max passes out into Surge's arm, who holds her in close.
After a few days, Max reawakens, strangley exhausted. Haunted by everything she's seen in a body she had no control over, she is comforted Pam and Jessie who both give her a big ol' hug. She reunites with Brock and then Surge, the two reconcile, acknowledging that they'll need to work together for now on, united as one. Max reveals the virus' true intentions and how it's only been stalling for time in order to scale the infection globally. With no other choice but to act fast, Surge, Colt, Brock, Pam and Jessie all leave for the virus' lair with Max opting to stay behind, winking at Surge just before he leaves.
While on their way to the lair, the party plow through the streets of the city and meet up with Meg, who's been doing some defending of her own on a smaller scale with her trusty mech, Rob. Once at the lair, the party is surrounded by an army of robots. They fight vigorously but the overwhelming odds are simply too much to handle, it seems like all is lost until like a beam of light, a supercharged Max runs headstrong into the battle. Everyone gathers together and begins making quick work of the robots. Max and Surge lead a trail through the surrounding bots while the rest stay behind.
With the anti-virus in hand, Max and Surge storm into where they expect the virus to be but instead, the two are sent into the digital world once more. Max and Surge are faced with a virus stronger than ever, in it's world, with it's rules, with full intention to leave them for dead and to as it puts it, "Finally Win". The virus sends beams of dark energy towards the duo so fast that not even Max is able to react to them. They subdue Surge but to both the virus' and Max's confusion, has no effect on her. She runs up to it and punches it square in the face, releasing it's hold on Surge. The two scrap with the virus getting the better of Max, Surge steps in and takes a crack at taking it down, Surge attempts to impale it with his energy sword. Prior to making contact, the virus activates a barrier around itself and the sword goes right through, the virus teleports behind Surge and knocks him down. Things are looking dire for the superhero duo.
Max stumbles back to her feet, playing at the virus' own game with mockery. Using her wits she begins to taunt the virus, who attempts to silence her with attack after attack, all of which she evades. It begins attacking quicker and quicker, more viciously as Max wears it down without even laying a finger. With it's nerves burning with rage, Max is overpowered and finally knocked down, with the smallest window of opportunity opened and the virus' guard down, Surge runs his sword through the chest of the virus with it evaporating into mist, presumably and finally, kicking the bucket.
Max and Surge return to their world, replacing the virus' EMP-like infection device with the anti-virus, launching it over the city. All the robots go back to normal yet the victory for everyone is bitter sweet, the damage has already been done and it will take months, even years for SuperCity to build itself back up to where it once was. The public is now divided on robots more than ever and while the city must get the rest it needs, crime never sleeps...
Over the next few days Brock moves back to the arcade, saddened that he has truly lost a friend, Pam and Jessie are made unsung heroes and return back to the scrapyard, not wanting any of the attention that comes with fame and glory. Seeing as she has no one else to turn to, Max and Surge formally adopt Meg and begin to raise her as their own. Thanks to his experience with Max, Surge accepts Meg's request to become a superhero, adding her to the team and putting her into training immediately. Max views things differently however, thinking the life of a superhero is too dangerous for someone like her, wanting only to keep her safe from danger, Max and Surge's attitudes are effectively swapped. Netherless, Max goes along with it, trying her best to shape Meg into the best superhero she can possibly be by being unnecessarily tough on her, while Surge does the complete opposite always cheering her on and keeping Meg in good spirits.
("The Golden Touch") Colt returns back home in the south, attempting to get some much needed rest from all the chaos that has ensued over past few days. Meanwhile Shelly has been tasked by Belle steal a safe, she is spooked by Spike, belonging to the thought to be long gone cactus people and simply roles with her situation, letting Spike tag along for the heist.
Colt attempts to thwart the heist in progress and goes after shelly, who outpaces the already exhausted sherrif, managing to escape. Despite her success, Shelly is betrayed by the Goldarms with Belle personally kicking her out of the gang, leaving with the money and leaving her to be captured along with Spike as a peace offering of sorts to Colt.
While in her cell, Shelly attempts to grab Colt's attention. While he is dismissive of her at first, she makes things apparent that she is the only person who would get her to Belle. A reluctant Colt releases Shelly and Spike on the promise that Shelly goes right back to jail when everything is said and done. Colt enlists the help of Ricochet in Barley's tavern, he is immediately weary of Shelly, unsure if she can even be trusted and with that, this group held together by duct-tape begin their quest to end the Goldarm gang for good.
Meanwhile Misfortune Tara (MF Tara) and Quickdraw Edgar (QD Edgar) make their presences known to the Goldarms, warning Belle of the storm approaching her way under the false intentions of helping her. Still somewhat paranoid, Belle agrees, allowing the two to do whatever they need to as long as Colt was spared.
Colt's party are lead to a Goldarm compound by Shelly in hopes of finding Belle. Instead, they unknowingly fall into a trap with Ricochet thinking it was intentional on Shelly's part and it's here they have their first encounter with Tara and Edgar, everyone manages to escape, just barely. Tensions rise between Shelly and Ricochet while Colt attempts to play peacemaker. In a bid to gather more information on the duo of criminals, the group head to Tara's Bazaar, assuming the two Taras are one of the same.
Colt wanders into the Bazaar alone and confronts Tara, who subdues Colt and makes him state his business. Tara immediately knows what the deal is and joins the party to stop the Goldarms, assuming a bigger plan is at play. She leaves a sleeping Sandy behind at the Bazaar, not wanting to put him in danger like last time.
Over time, things ease up between everyone, getting to know eachother, especially Colt and Shelly. Everyone boards a train to where Tara believes the criminal duo's hideout to be. They all walk into yet another ambush with Tara staying behind in an attempt to take out her counterpart. The skill gap between the two Taras is very evident with MF Tara being able to get the upper hand with ease. Wanting Tara to join the cause, she naturally refuses, prompting MF Tara to send her through a black hole, waving goodbye as she does so.
Soon after, Colt, Shelly, Ricochet, and Spike find themselves trapped in the hideout with tensions between Shelly and Ricochet rising up once more. With everyone distracted and more divided than ever, they all get knocked out and subdued. They wake up in Belle's hideout, all tied to chairs. Belle walks in and attempts to sway Colt into joining the gang, she tries to make him shoot Shelly himself but refuses, managing to break free. Just before he can catch Belle, she escapes through the door, locking it. Colt frees everyone else and they begin their breakout. Colt and Shelly partner up and go after Belle at the top of the tower while Ricochet and Spike go after Tara and Edgar at the bottom of the tower.
Spike and Edgar fight with Spike emerging the victor, Tara takes out Spike while Ricochet aims his revolver at the two, just before he could pull the trigger, the duo are magically pulled out of there, leaving Ricochet confused. Meanwhile at the top of the tower, Shellygets there first who is promptly dealt with. Colt makes his way up soon after and confronts Belle. She goes on and on, trying desperately to get him to see things the way she does, trying to forge a criminal out of him but it's no use. There's something between them that Colt can't quite explain, he doesn't want to fight her and neither does she. Using this distraction to her advantage, Shelly recovers and pushes Belle off a ledge with Colt grabbing her by the gold arm. With the glove on her hand gradually slipping off, Belle falls off the tower and with the last of her words calling Colt "son". Belle is presumed dead with Colt having second doubts.
The four regroup and leave the tower together with Colt going back on his promise and decides to let Shelly free with the two becoming partners. While her path on the side of good has been rocky, Colt assures Shelly that he'll make a good sheriff out of her. Ricochet leaves to go back to bounty hunting and Spike is allowed to live with Colt and Shelly. In the aftermath the Goldarms seemingly fall apart without their leader, MF Tara and QD Edgar rally the remaining Goldarms into joining their cause. Meanwhile Tara finds herself in a world completely new to her, a world where everyone is on the hunt for what they believe is a criminal...
Now on her own, Penny has been reduced to a petty theif who lives in a cave, just barely getting by in a life without anyone who cares for her. She is approached by Evil Gene and naturally freaks out, he assures her that he isn't there to harm her but instead, can 'help her'. He gets her to meet MF Tara and once again freaks out. The two have a proposition for her, she captures Jessie and they don't obliterate her, Penny accepts and gets on her way to the scrapyard. Penny attempts to sneak in and is easily seen by Jessie who kindly lets her in. Penny uses Jessie's naivety to her advantage and knocks her out, taking her back unnoticed. Penny is given an offer to join the cause, which she accepts, just wanting to feel protected again.
Jessie has her memories altered by magic, amplifying her worse traits and suppressing the better ones and effectively creating Cat Burglar Jessie in the process. She is sent back home as if nothing happened, coming back whenever she is needed. Jessie is made to extract the dormant virus in her and uses it to recreate Virus 8-Bit, who joins the villains without a hunch.
Mr.P hosts a party around the holidays, inviting a multitude of brawlers to join in the festivities. The Superhero trio is invited but Max ultimately decides to stiff Meg on her invitation and gives it to Brock so Rico could attend, claiming she's too young to go anyway, leaving her with the Junkers. Piper and Shelly come face to face once more with both Colt and Byron playing peacemaker. Piper meets Rico for the first time and the two seem to share a lot in common with Piper feeling an amount of comfortability around him that she can't quite explain.
Piper and Rico come across the Retropolis gang who's already been quite the disturbance, Piper and Crow get into a war of words, ending with Piper simply choosing to walk off with Rico on to the roof. Not wanting to swallow his pride, Crow follows them with Bibi trailing behind. He takes out Rico and poisons Piper, Bibi opposes Crow and the two get into a fight, with Bibi ultimately knocking him out with her bat. Colt arrives and attempts to get Piper medical aid, promising he'll be back for Crow.
Meanwhile Max and Brock accidentally spill an energy drink over an arcade machine, causing it to overload and gain sentience. It attacks everyone at the party, everyone fleas with Max, Surge, Shelly, Spike, Brock, Colt, and later Piper after being healed by the efforts of both Poco and Byron to stay behind and fight. The machine is ultimately defeated, leaving Brock to ponder if he could somehow bring back 8-Bit. Colt heads back to the roof with Piper only to find that everyone has dissappeared, Piper believes Rico was kidnapped so she along with Brock, Colt, and Byron prepare to leave for Retropolis.
Meanwhile Max and Surge are given a phone call by Pam, claiming Meg to have gone missing. They arrive back home only to find an invitation, for a tournament. Max puts the blame on herself, vowing to get her back no matter what with the two accepting, thinking there's no other way.
And that's the story up to now, thanks for reading :)
submitted by ExcuseMeWTF50 to brawlstarswriters [link] [comments]
1956 - A local mortician, Mortis is bitten by a bat, causing him to turn into a vampire. He secludes himself from humanity, moving into what is now known as the mortuary where he meets Frank. The two agree to live in unison.
1964 - The Starr Corporation is founded in Japan, specializing in a multitude of products, including robotics.
1966 - Starr Park is created and soon after is condemed due to poor conditions. Starr Corporation resumes previous operations with it's heavy emphasis on investing in the re-opening of Starr Park.
The first line of fully functional robots are released into the public, created by Starr Corporation. They serve in roles just like humans. Public opinion on them is mixed.
1970 - One of the oldest bots in circulation, Barley opens his tavern.
1993 - The Goldarm gang is formed, uniting the lower class of the south together in favor of a criminal lifestyle. Beliefs include equality between humans and robots and loyalty above all else, spearheaded by it's leader and former sheriff, Calamity.
1994 - Belle Goldhand and Sam Bronson meet eachother whilst both were working in a factory, falling in love almost immediately.
1995 - Due to increased industrialization, dependence on robots has increased, costing thousands to lose their jobs including Belle and Sam. The two form an unbreakable hatred for robots soon after, believing them to be inferior to humans.
Sam and Belle resort to a life of crime in order to make ends meet, going on a crime spree across the south and with their noteriety eventually taking them to the Goldarm gang.
1996 - Belle and Sam tie the knot and have a son. The two come at a crossroads where Belle pushes to mold him under a life of crime in the Goldarms while Sam wants to leave them out of it completely, fearing for the safety of their child.
Belle and Sam come to an agreement to abandon their son with hopes of reuniting later in the future. The son is soon adopted by a retired sheriff and his wife. They instill a strong sense of justice and morality in the boy. He is named Colt, after his adoptive father.
1997 - Belle expresses interests in engineering, being able to use scrap and turn them into handy inventions including a shock rifle, enhanced bear traps, security systems, knuckle busters and limb replacements. She hacks off her left arm and replaces it with one that can handle the recoil of her brand new invention.
The Goldarms wage war with rival gang, the Junker Clan over control of the criminal underworld in the south, causing unrest for it's residents.
1999 - An unknown bounty hunter is caught in between the two waring gangs. After grueling battle after grueling battle, he is able to take down the Goldarms, the Junkers and their leaders, leaving the hunter fatally injured.
Nearly all the Junkers are gone but one, the last of the clan, a child named Pam uses the base of operations as a place to call her home, converting it into a scrapyard. She uses her talents to help those in need using all she's learned from her predecessors.
With all the higher ups gone and a chunk of the gang missing, including Sam, there's a huge power vacuum in the Goldarm gang. A grieving yet paranoid Belle takes over the Goldarms as it's defacto leader and puts an emphasis on cyberization, non-lethality and blind loyalty. She destroys the remaining robot members of the Goldarms, changing the culture in one fowl swoop, ruling the criminal underworld with an iron fist and an eye always on the back of her head. Many enemies of the Goldarms flee to Mexico.
2000 - A robot bounty hunter codenamed 'Ricochet' appears in the south. His personality is a lot more closer to a human than robot. He hunts down criminals like the Goldarms one step and one payment at a time.
2001 - A living skeleton has become quite the celebrity in a crime ridden Mexico, he's able to heal the wounded with his guitar and creates music to inspire those around the world, including a young Piper De La Prim.
2003 - A hopeful entrepreneur Mr.P starts his business, specializing in hotels, trains, and flights. He recruits a friend of the family, Gale as his first employee.
2004 - Piper begins her career as a ballerina. Despite her talents, the strict environment eventually causes her to begin searching for a new career path.
2005 - A colony made up of scientists on the moon successfully genetically alter a dog to have human characteristics, a high-functioning brain, the ability to speak, and walk on two legs. In an attempt to escape captivity, the dog is accidentally launched into outer space on a high speed space ship. Due to the high speeds, a wormhole opens up and the dog finds itself in a world like no other. After some time, it adopts the name of Col. Ruffs, a grizzled and highly intelligent military commander.
2006 - A little boy named Gus follows magic balloons onto a mysterious train ride and is never seen again, causing a massive controversy for Mr.P.
2008 - The tribal warrior Bo finds two infants up on a tree, crying in a nest whilst hiking. After rescuing them, he adopts the two and envelops them with the spirit of a bear and chameleon respectively. The siblings are given special abilities surrounding the animals, they are named Leon and Nita. The two live a sheltered childhood together.
2009 - Piper enlists into the military during a war as an excuse to escape her career as a ballerina. The experience would begin to change and mold her into someone else entirely with her weapon of choice during this time being the sniper rifle.
2010 - A Talented yet very fame hungry luchador is caught in the radius of a crashing meteor. He's given super-human abilities and goes by the name of El Primo. Whilst wanting to use his power for the good of his people, he is told not to get involved with crime as it would be "Bad PR". Nevertheless, El Primo becomes a wildly popular luchador in his own right.
2011 - An orphaned, teenaged bandit begins making moves in Mexico, taking from both the rich and poor. She's nicknamed "Shelly" by the locals for her use of a shotgun and has seemingly made an enemy out of everyone but still, no one can catch this thief.
After finishing her service, Piper returns home and is stricken by grief from the fact that her mother has passed. Soon after, she follows in her father's footsteps and becomes a spy. While she lives for glory and to impress her father, each life she takes weighs heavily on her conscious.
2012 - A young adventurer named Scarlett discovers a magical lamp in a cave, she uses it and is cursed by an evil genie who then dissappears. Initially not realizing what had happened to her, she lives her life as normal until discovering her left hand had begun glowing and in time resembled that of a devil's.
After being disowned by not only her community but her own family, she wanders the world relying on thievery to survive and hoping one day, she can take revenge on the one who wronged her.
Bill 'Bull' Blanco attempts to leave behind a life of crime to kickstart a diner in the city of sin known as Retropolis. Despite his best attempts, Bull caves in and creates his very own biker gang initially to defend the diner from other criminals, slowly but surely getting himself back into a life of crime.
2013 - A mysterious, human-like crow shows up in Retropolis one day, he makes a ruckus in Bull's diner before reluctantly joining the biker gang. He's a control freak, always wanting to do things his way and won't be afraid to pull some strings to get it.
2014 - A street urchin named Penny attempts to hitch a ride off of a trio of pirate's ship. After being found out, the leader reaches out to the girl and takes her under their wing wanting only a better life for her.
A botonist, Rosa is sent via military escort to study a rare but dangerous breed of plants in the deep jungles of South America. Things go wrong, badly and Rosa is left stranded after plants press an attack, she is saved when a spike plant latches onto and protects her.
After spending months punching plants in the face to survive, Rosa is eventually rescued and returned to her home in the United Kingdom. She continues her work in the field of botany, for now.
2015 - A robot prototype is created in an attempt to replicate Ricochet's ability to bounce bullets off of wall, codenamed 'Rico'. Soon after, the project would be shut down and the robot would lay dormant in an abandoned factory.
The daughter of a wealthy Japanese businessman and investor, Bibi begins to resent her family's teachings in order to find her purpose in life. She takes up illegal street fighting and street racing as past-times, unbeknownst to her father.
2016 - To fight off the rising crime rates of SuperCity, the government devises a plan to create the ultimate defense bot to protect the city. Surge would be created and given life like no other robot, he is able to feel emotions just like a human.
The group of pirates Penny is apart of rob the highly advanced city of Oasis. Among the riches are a bunch of green cubes which only Penny seems to take interest in. (I'll just leave this at that since I'd rather not spoil the story I'm currently working on)
After years of training, Colt lands the role of a Sheriff and gets to work in cleaning up the Goldarms' mess. Belle recognizes Colt and theorizes that he is her son. Not wanting for either to fight eachother, Belle tries her best to just stay away from Colt for now.
A few years has passed and Shelly has made quite the name for herself, rising up in the criminal underworld and dating one of the top crime lords in Mexico. To everyone, Shelly seems untouchable and there's nothing anyone could do about it.
Poco's popularity in the music has run out of steam with a rival band stealing his fame. Heartbroken but determined, Poco wanders Mexico helping however he can, hoping one day he can get back to being Mexico's mumber one artist.
After using previously stolen blue prints, Penny builds a prototype loader bot into one that specializes in explosives, aptly naming it Tick.
2017 - The robo mascot for a root beer company is stolen by Penny who then reconfigures the bot into becoming a pirate to aid her in adventures. She names him Darryl and arms him with two double-barrel shotguns. Penny is large and in charge of her very own pirate crew.
A freak accident causes an Arcade machine to become sentient. Local arcade streamer Brock opts to take care of the machine and the two become very good friends.
On one night, after an argument between her and her father, Bibi sneaks out for some street racing and after some shenanigans, criminal faction the Yakuza hunt Bibi down for allegedly owed money. With nowhere left to go, Bibi is shot in the shoulder and falls onto a boat, leaving her unconscious. She miraculously awakes in Retropolis, having to start a new life. Not even getting to reconcile with her father.
Bibi enters Bull's diner and meets with Crow and Bull who immediately takes her in as apart of his gang. Crow disagrees with the decision, believing she should have earned her place which is a grudge he continues to hold with tensions only rising over time. After a while, Bibi becomes shaped by her environment, leaving nothing but a girl who's tough as nails and hard as a rock, completely satisfied with living in Retropolis.
Rosa decides to move to the United States to train as a boxer as she's realized she's "bloody good" at it and to further the study of the plant that's been around her for three years now in the process.
2018 - After years of hidden paranoia and uncertainty, Piper's father is killed in a explosion cover up by the agency, unbenounced to her. Saddened and completely torn down by her grief, Piper retires and fakes her own death. Hoping to just live a normal life for now on, Piper opens up her own bake shop in a small, quiet town, making a new friend in Barley.
Everyone would be completely oblivious to the fact that Piper's father had too faked his death. He adopts the moniker of Byron, whitening his hair, growing facial hair, wearing contact lenses and adopting a more rough demeanor. Once a chemist, he creates potions and sells them at his own shop, usually scamming customers because "These cheeky little things cost me a pretty penny" usually only following through on his promises for those he truly feel need his remedies. Byron lives a nomadic lifestyle, moving from town-to-town and never for long up until he comes across the town Piper is living in of course...
The prototype for Rico is found in that abandoned factory and is mistaken for a pool bot thanks to it's design. It's sent off to the arcade where it is repurposed and finished into more of a playful kind of robot for kids to enjoy. Brock once again makes a friend in a robot.
Surge is properly put into service and cleans up the streets of SuperCity nicely. Most of the criminals flee to Retropolis.
The undead neice of Mortis, EMZ becomes internet famous after making contact with humans. She becomes an influencer much to Mortis' dissapointment.
2019 - Siblings Tara and Sandy explore a cave in search of a fabled genie who would not only bring them good luck, but would also grant them three wishes. To much of their surprise they do indeed find a lamp, however it's the wrong lamp and the two are cursed by Evil Gene. Tara is scarred, forced to cover up her face while Sandy is doomed to be sleepy nearly all the time.
After some time, Tara and Sandy unearth the real Gene who grants the two gifts to complement their burdens. Tara has access to dark magic, something she isn't too skilled with yet while Sandy has control over sand. The two leave home to run a bazaar and to hone their skills.
Longtime tour guide for Brawlywood, Lola, is given her first non-cameo on screen role. Something that would spark an obsession in her to always be in the limelight.
2020 - Wannabe superhero Maxine leaves the arcade in hopes of becoming one. She creates her own aerodynamic suit and enters a competition to become Surge's very own partner. She makes it to the finals against snobish rich kid, Maxwell. With the two both having super suits designed for superspeed, the two have a race to decide who gets the part. Knowing she is likely to be outmatched, Maxine cheats by gulping down energy drinks prior to the race and setting the seeds for an addiction. She handily wins and Surge blindly accepts Maxine, now rechristened as Max with Maxwell seeing right through her.
Despite wanting to help immediately, Surge simply believes Max isn't ready to fight crime yet and fears for her safety, believing she could use more fine tuning. Much to her disappointment, Max would undergo training and would train vigorously, day in, day out and each time she would be told that it simply wasn't good enough. Instead of fighting crime, Max is made the spokesperson for Surge energy drinks, now renamed as Max energy.
Rosa opens a job listing for an assistant to help around in her new 'biodome', a state of the art lab filled with all the desires of a any scientist. A young, scientific prodigy named Bea is chosen by Rosa to help around the lab and together they build Sprout, currently in it's prototype phase.
Tara comes in contact with Bo's tribe, becoming good friends with him. He helps her in getting her powers under control along with general guidance.
Starr Park is set for it's grand re-opening with it's first order of business pertaining to the gift shop, hiring local businessman Griff as it's manager who then recruits two high-school students Edgar and Colette under an unpaid intership. Griff would be given little to no financial backing and would almost always find himself in debt.
Internet famous stunt sisters Janet and Bonnie are hired into Starr Park under the stunt division. The two are adopted by the park's resident crash test dummy, Stu.
Mr.P is approached by Starr Corporation with an offer to merge. He declines but miraculously goes back on the offer at a later date.
During a trip to SuperCity, Jessie finds herself in peril only to be saved by Max. Max quickly makes a fan in Jessie and her mother, Pam. The two offer to help Max with her suit, upgrading both her helmet and blaster as a token of their gratitude. This experience fills Max's head with confidence like no other, believing herself more than capable of being a superhero.
Previously retired miner Dynamike, his granddaughter Jacky, and Carl are all hired to explore the gem mines as there seems to be huge boom in valuable resource's availability.
2021 - ("The Wish") Penny, Darryl and Tick catch wind of the existence of Gene with Penny seeking the lamp for herself. After months of searching, the pirates find the lamp and once again it's the wrong lamp. Instead of cursing them, Evil Gene decides to play into this, disguising himself as Gene, sensing a plan. Penny asks for unlimited wishes which he grants.
Tara recieves a vision that the lamp has been reused, noticing that the constang wishing is tearing holes in reality. She wastes no time trying to stop Penny, gathering Sandy, Bo, Leon, Nita and Surge and the rag-tag group attempt an ambush to get the lamp away from Penny who manages to escape by thr skin of her teeth. Penny continues to gloss over the needs of her friends as she becomes obssessive over control.
After a few more unsuccessful battles and attempts, Team Tara (yeah, might aswell make up something) tracks down Penny who is tricked into setting Evil Gene free. Penny escapes with her crew, just barely and leaving Team Tara to battle. Before being allowed back onto the ship, Darryl and Tick confront her over their mistreatment and leav Penny behind. With tears in her eyes, Penny breaks down as the only things she had left abandon her, she proclaims them as traitors but deep down inside she just wants to see them again. Darryl and Tick roam the seven seas, attempting to live a mostly peaceful life.
Tara is able to take down Evil Gene with the aid of Gene, after a prolonged battle. She uses her wishes to banish Evil Gene and the revival of a fallen Sandy, something that goes against the rules of wishing. Despite things seemingly going back to normal, more and more rifts in reality start pulling versions of brawlers from other universes. The most notable being Misfortune Tara, Quickdraw Edgar, El Rudo Primo, Demonic Bo and Archvillian Bea. With the use of her dark magic, MF Tara (haha) brings back Evil Gene and the group devise a plan to takeover this world they were flicked into, lead by Primo.
("Shadows") Living the life she's been wanting for years, Piper is suddenly blackmailed into rejoining the agency for one last mission. She does it and she's free forever, so she reluctantly accepts. She is sent to Mexico as a part in the masterful plan to take out and retrieve intel from Mexico's most powerful crimelord and boyfriend to Shelly, 'Stitch'.
Along with Poco, Amber, and El Primo all get into the mansion as forms of entertainment all so Piper could get in close and personal for the kill. Things go wrong, Shelly and Piper get into a scuffle before handily knocking her out then taking out Stitch for a sloppy kill, prior to his death, he let's word slip out that he was paid to kill Piper. Piper retrieves the intel and takes a look inside, revealing a whole bunch of previously hidden information to her, including the fact that her father was in fact 'killed' on purpose. She remains oblivious to everything until her trip back home where she confronts the one responsible for all this, 'The Director'. She shoots and grazes his shoulder, narrowly escaping the building.
Colt is then hired to take in Piper and after some, ahem 'bonding', Colt manages to capture a worn down Piper and sends her back. Just before her execution, Byron intervenes and saves Piper.
("Vengeance") (I'm also still halfway done writing this so screw you, not spoiling anything)
With the only person keeping her in power gone, Shelly fleas from Mexico after a hit is put out on her, seeking refuge up north. She joins the Goldarms, more out of obligation than anything. Shelly and Belle don't exactly see eye to eye with Belle feeling she's untrustworthy thanks to the reputation she's built up over the years. Shelly holds a grudge against Piper as she views her as the one responsible for her situation.
("Game Over") A meteor crash lands on Earth, carrying an alien-like goo that leaks out. An oblivious 8-Bit is taken over by it and goes missing. The virus feeds off of 8-Bit's evergrowing frustrations with the arcade goers who have tormented him and uses it as fuel.
Still in training, Max finally has enough and storms off from Surge who opts not to go after her, hoping for her to cool down and come back. Max takes a stroll through the city, looking for danger in hopes to prove herself and danger she found. She hears pleas for help from a child and saves her from an odd looking bot. The two formally meet eachother with the child introducing herself as Meg. After Max takes her back to the academy, she recieves a call from Surge who informs her of some good news.
Strange signals were being cast from an abandoned tower in the city and no matter what, Max and Surge would work as a team to deal with this. Max hurries over and meets up with Surge at the tower, nothing seems too out of the ordinary until the dynamic duo reach the top of the tower. Max and Surge find Virus 8-Bit, who summons a bunch of infected robots at them. Fighting from top to bottom of the tower and just when it seems like Max and Surge are on the same page once again, Max is forced to leave Surge behind, tearfully retreating back home.
With the future uncertain, Max sends a message to the Junkers, asking them to send help to the city if she failed. After a few days preparing, Max sets her sights on taking down the virus once and for all. Noticing a glowing beacon in the sky, Max runs over to it and is surrounded by nothing but screens of Virus 8-Bit, who mocks and berates Max for her naivety before sending a now infected Surge to fight in his place.
Not wanting to hurt her friend but seeing no other option, Max does her best to try and neutralize Surge without completely destroying him. After an even enough battle, Max shatters the energy tank on Surge's body. He lifts Max up, attempting to strangle her with an unbreakable iron grasp but right before Max succumbs, he falls unconscious. A worn yet battle ready Max the virus to face her, an offer he gleefully accepts, grabbing Max and teleporting them both into the digital world.
Now completely outmatched, Max goes toe-to-toe with Virus 8-Bit using her speed to outmeanuver his attacks. Despite the fact that she's dodging everything the virus throws at her, she can't even make a dent in it, she's wearing down and Virus 8-Bit knows it. In a last ditch attempt to stop him, Max climbs on top of the corrupted arcade only to swatted away. Despite having her exactly where he wants her, Virus 8-Bit gloats about his inevitable victory. Max slowly rises back to her feet, fueled by her determination and the last of her energy drink, she manages to put an end to the virus by driving her hand through it's cartridge port and tearing the power source right out.
With the day seemingly won, Max rests now that this nightmare is over, or so she thought. The arcade's screen turns back on, mocking Max for believing she ever had a chance. It reveals that all it's been doing was toying with Max and now plans to use her body to carry out the rest of it's plan. Max watches helplessly as her weak, battered body is taken over with no end to this in sight. The virus feeds off of Max's inner doubts as fuel for it's hatred. With no physical body and a digital one broken beyond repair, 8-Bit's conscious is stuck in the digital world.
A few days pass as Brock arrives in SuperCity in search of 8-Bit. The city seems to be completely abandoned by now overrun by all the infected robots. Brock meets up with Colt, Jessie and Pam in search of either Max, Surge, and 8-Bit. With the use of a tracker, Surge's decommissioned body is found and returned back home. He is given a sample of the anti-virus repairing him.
Irate and dissapointed in himself about the fact that he not only failed to protect Max, but his entire city, Surge immediately storms off in search of a fight with Brock and Colt giving chase soon after. While in the streets of SuperCity, Surge is blindsided by gas and from it steps out his assailant, Max. The now corrupted Max attacks Surge, who refuses to fight back, only trying to reason with her, thinking his friend is still somewhere in there. Before the final blow could strike, Brock and Colt intervene and save Surge. Before dissappearing back into the night, Max tilts her head and smiles at Brock, who's stunned to see her like this, and then swiftly vanishes into the night.
A few more close calls later, including the infection of Jessie and the development of a new anti-virus and after an agonizing battle, Surge is the last one standing, staring face-to-face across the battlefield against his infected friend turned foe. The two give eachother all they have with the fight ending with Max latching onto and tearing off one of Surge's arms, she runs in to finish the job then Surge teleports behind and injects her with the anti-virus. He watches as the virus physically seperates itself from Max, taking on a form of it's own before retreating. Max passes out into Surge's arm, who holds her in close.
After a few days, Max reawakens, strangley exhausted. Haunted by everything she's seen in a body she had no control over, she is comforted Pam and Jessie who both give her a big ol' hug. She reunites with Brock and then Surge, the two reconcile, acknowledging that they'll need to work together for now on, united as one. Max reveals the virus' true intentions and how it's only been stalling for time in order to scale the infection globally. With no other choice but to act fast, Surge, Colt, Brock, Pam and Jessie all leave for the virus' lair with Max opting to stay behind, winking at Surge just before he leaves.
While on their way to the lair, the party plow through the streets of the city and meet up with Meg, who's been doing some defending of her own on a smaller scale with her trusty mech, Rob. Once at the lair, the party is surrounded by an army of robots. They fight vigorously but the overwhelming odds are simply too much to handle, it seems like all is lost until like a beam of light, a supercharged Max runs headstrong into the battle. Everyone gathers together and begins making quick work of the robots. Max and Surge lead a trail through the surrounding bots while the rest stay behind.
With the anti-virus in hand, Max and Surge storm into where they expect the virus to be but instead, the two are sent into the digital world once more. Max and Surge are faced with a virus stronger than ever, in it's world, with it's rules, with full intention to leave them for dead and to as it puts it, "Finally Win". The virus sends beams of dark energy towards the duo so fast that not even Max is able to react to them. They subdue Surge but to both the virus' and Max's confusion, has no effect on her. She runs up to it and punches it square in the face, releasing it's hold on Surge. The two scrap with the virus getting the better of Max, Surge steps in and takes a crack at taking it down, Surge attempts to impale it with his energy sword. Prior to making contact, the virus activates a barrier around itself and the sword goes right through, the virus teleports behind Surge and knocks him down. Things are looking dire for the superhero duo.
Max stumbles back to her feet, playing at the virus' own game with mockery. Using her wits she begins to taunt the virus, who attempts to silence her with attack after attack, all of which she evades. It begins attacking quicker and quicker, more viciously as Max wears it down without even laying a finger. With it's nerves burning with rage, Max is overpowered and finally knocked down, with the smallest window of opportunity opened and the virus' guard down, Surge runs his sword through the chest of the virus with it evaporating into mist, presumably and finally, kicking the bucket.
Max and Surge return to their world, replacing the virus' EMP-like infection device with the anti-virus, launching it over the city. All the robots go back to normal yet the victory for everyone is bitter sweet, the damage has already been done and it will take months, even years for SuperCity to build itself back up to where it once was. The public is now divided on robots more than ever and while the city must get the rest it needs, crime never sleeps...
Over the next few days Brock moves back to the arcade, saddened that he has truly lost a friend, Pam and Jessie are made unsung heroes and return back to the scrapyard, not wanting any of the attention that comes with fame and glory. Seeing as she has no one else to turn to, Max and Surge formally adopt Meg and begin to raise her as their own. Thanks to his experience with Max, Surge accepts Meg's request to become a superhero, adding her to the team and putting her into training immediately. Max views things differently however, thinking the life of a superhero is too dangerous for someone like her, wanting only to keep her safe from danger, Max and Surge's attitudes are effectively swapped. Netherless, Max goes along with it, trying her best to shape Meg into the best superhero she can possibly be by being unnecessarily tough on her, while Surge does the complete opposite always cheering her on and keeping Meg in good spirits.
("The Golden Touch") Colt returns back home in the south, attempting to get some much needed rest from all the chaos that has ensued over past few days. Meanwhile Shelly has been tasked by Belle steal a safe, she is spooked by Spike, belonging to the thought to be long gone cactus people and simply roles with her situation, letting Spike tag along for the heist.
Colt attempts to thwart the heist in progress and goes after shelly, who outpaces the already exhausted sherrif, managing to escape. Despite her success, Shelly is betrayed by the Goldarms with Belle personally kicking her out of the gang, leaving with the money and leaving her to be captured along with Spike as a peace offering of sorts to Colt.
While in her cell, Shelly attempts to grab Colt's attention. While he is dismissive of her at first, she makes things apparent that she is the only person who would get her to Belle. A reluctant Colt releases Shelly and Spike on the promise that Shelly goes right back to jail when everything is said and done. Colt enlists the help of Ricochet in Barley's tavern, he is immediately weary of Shelly, unsure if she can even be trusted and with that, this group held together by duct-tape begin their quest to end the Goldarm gang for good.
Meanwhile Misfortune Tara (MF Tara) and Quickdraw Edgar (QD Edgar) make their presences known to the Goldarms, warning Belle of the storm approaching her way under the false intentions of helping her. Still somewhat paranoid, Belle agrees, allowing the two to do whatever they need to as long as Colt was spared.
Colt's party are lead to a Goldarm compound by Shelly in hopes of finding Belle. Instead, they unknowingly fall into a trap with Ricochet thinking it was intentional on Shelly's part and it's here they have their first encounter with Tara and Edgar, everyone manages to escape, just barely. Tensions rise between Shelly and Ricochet while Colt attempts to play peacemaker. In a bid to gather more information on the duo of criminals, the group head to Tara's Bazaar, assuming the two Taras are one of the same.
Colt wanders into the Bazaar alone and confronts Tara, who subdues Colt and makes him state his business. Tara immediately knows what the deal is and joins the party to stop the Goldarms, assuming a bigger plan is at play. She leaves a sleeping Sandy behind at the Bazaar, not wanting to put him in danger like last time.
Over time, things ease up between everyone, getting to know eachother, especially Colt and Shelly. Everyone boards a train to where Tara believes the criminal duo's hideout to be. They all walk into yet another ambush with Tara staying behind in an attempt to take out her counterpart. The skill gap between the two Taras is very evident with MF Tara being able to get the upper hand with ease. Wanting Tara to join the cause, she naturally refuses, prompting MF Tara to send her through a black hole, waving goodbye as she does so.
Soon after, Colt, Shelly, Ricochet, and Spike find themselves trapped in the hideout with tensions between Shelly and Ricochet rising up once more. With everyone distracted and more divided than ever, they all get knocked out and subdued. They wake up in Belle's hideout, all tied to chairs. Belle walks in and attempts to sway Colt into joining the gang, she tries to make him shoot Shelly himself but refuses, managing to break free. Just before he can catch Belle, she escapes through the door, locking it. Colt frees everyone else and they begin their breakout. Colt and Shelly partner up and go after Belle at the top of the tower while Ricochet and Spike go after Tara and Edgar at the bottom of the tower.
Spike and Edgar fight with Spike emerging the victor, Tara takes out Spike while Ricochet aims his revolver at the two, just before he could pull the trigger, the duo are magically pulled out of there, leaving Ricochet confused. Meanwhile at the top of the tower, Shellygets there first who is promptly dealt with. Colt makes his way up soon after and confronts Belle. She goes on and on, trying desperately to get him to see things the way she does, trying to forge a criminal out of him but it's no use. There's something between them that Colt can't quite explain, he doesn't want to fight her and neither does she. Using this distraction to her advantage, Shelly recovers and pushes Belle off a ledge with Colt grabbing her by the gold arm. With the glove on her hand gradually slipping off, Belle falls off the tower and with the last of her words calling Colt "son". Belle is presumed dead with Colt having second doubts.
The four regroup and leave the tower together with Colt going back on his promise and decides to let Shelly free with the two becoming partners. While her path on the side of good has been rocky, Colt assures Shelly that he'll make a good sheriff out of her. Ricochet leaves to go back to bounty hunting and Spike is allowed to live with Colt and Shelly. In the aftermath the Goldarms seemingly fall apart without their leader, MF Tara and QD Edgar rally the remaining Goldarms into joining their cause. Meanwhile Tara finds herself in a world completely new to her, a world where everyone is on the hunt for what they believe is a criminal...
Now on her own, Penny has been reduced to a petty theif who lives in a cave, just barely getting by in a life without anyone who cares for her. She is approached by Evil Gene and naturally freaks out, he assures her that he isn't there to harm her but instead, can 'help her'. He gets her to meet MF Tara and once again freaks out. The two have a proposition for her, she captures Jessie and they don't obliterate her, Penny accepts and gets on her way to the scrapyard. Penny attempts to sneak in and is easily seen by Jessie who kindly lets her in. Penny uses Jessie's naivety to her advantage and knocks her out, taking her back unnoticed. Penny is given an offer to join the cause, which she accepts, just wanting to feel protected again.
Jessie has her memories altered by magic, amplifying her worse traits and suppressing the better ones and effectively creating Cat Burglar Jessie in the process. She is sent back home as if nothing happened, coming back whenever she is needed. Jessie is made to extract the dormant virus in her and uses it to recreate Virus 8-Bit, who joins the villains without a hunch.
Mr.P hosts a party around the holidays, inviting a multitude of brawlers to join in the festivities. The Superhero trio is invited but Max ultimately decides to stiff Meg on her invitation and gives it to Brock so Rico could attend, claiming she's too young to go anyway, leaving her with the Junkers. Piper and Shelly come face to face once more with both Colt and Byron playing peacemaker. Piper meets Rico for the first time and the two seem to share a lot in common with Piper feeling an amount of comfortability around him that she can't quite explain.
Piper and Rico come across the Retropolis gang who's already been quite the disturbance, Piper and Crow get into a war of words, ending with Piper simply choosing to walk off with Rico on to the roof. Not wanting to swallow his pride, Crow follows them with Bibi trailing behind. He takes out Rico and poisons Piper, Bibi opposes Crow and the two get into a fight, with Bibi ultimately knocking him out with her bat. Colt arrives and attempts to get Piper medical aid, promising he'll be back for Crow.
Meanwhile Max and Brock accidentally spill an energy drink over an arcade machine, causing it to overload and gain sentience. It attacks everyone at the party, everyone fleas with Max, Surge, Shelly, Spike, Brock, Colt, and later Piper after being healed by the efforts of both Poco and Byron to stay behind and fight. The machine is ultimately defeated, leaving Brock to ponder if he could somehow bring back 8-Bit. Colt heads back to the roof with Piper only to find that everyone has dissappeared, Piper believes Rico was kidnapped so she along with Brock, Colt, and Byron prepare to leave for Retropolis.
Meanwhile Max and Surge are given a phone call by Pam, claiming Meg to have gone missing. They arrive back home only to find an invitation, for a tournament. Max puts the blame on herself, vowing to get her back no matter what with the two accepting, thinking there's no other way.
And that's the story up to now, thanks for reading :)
2020.08.09 21:58 Poniesandproteins Scammer: The comprehensive timeline
Decided to take a scroll stroll through CC's Instagram, and I've compiled with dates what I think is the complete timeline for Scammer. I think I might be missing a few things, as CC does tend to delete posts and edit captions, and these screenshots of the grid are all from today (8/9/2020). Please add on images in the comments of anything you have saved that I may have missed and what dates those occurred at! I've also specified where each image has come from (the imgur album should be in order), so it will say next to the update if she posted in on the grid (shorthand= BG). I skimmed all her captions since December for any scammer mention, so if it's not included, no other update exists (currently.) Links to individual images are posted as "X" next to the description.
I will continue to update ths post until Scammer has been finalized and received by customers.
The full receipt gallery: Receipt-Imgur
The Scammer Timeline:
12/17/2019: Caroline has AWWL listed on her site as coming soon. Scammer is not yet conceptualized- website X
12/18/2019: Caroline talks about publishing something and is worried that no one will read it-BG X
12/23/2019: Caroline announces a “small book” that will self-publish in January-BG X
12/29/2019: Posts first scammer cover and announced the presale will start on Jan 15th, i.e. the scammiversary-BG X
12/31/2019: There will be two separate books, AWWL and Scammer. Scammer will cover all of 2019.- BG X
1/7/2020: Caroline announces she will stay in Sarasota until she finishes scammer. It is unclear what day she returned to NYC-BG X
1/14/2020: Announces preorders for Scammer will start tomorrow-BG X
1/15/2020: Carolinecalloway.com launches and preorders officially open, with the infamous cover reveal coming soon-BG X
1/15/2020: Caroline gets press coverage about scammer, from sites like Buzzfeed, Nylon, and Guardian. None of the press gets an excerpt or review copy of the text.-BG (Nylon) (Paper) (Dazed) (Buzzfeed) (Guardian)
1/18/2020: Scammer is now available for international preorder-BG X
1/21/2020: Announces scammer will only be sold as preorders, and not carried in any store.-BG X
1/27/2020: All orders of scammer will be signed with a “love note” from caroline.-BG X
1/29/2020: Claims again that all copies of scammer will come with handwritten notes-BG X
1/29/2020: Claims AWWL is still under contract with Flatiron, and is a different manuscript than Scammer-BG X
1/31/2020: Announces first “giveaway” of a free special edition BB if you purchase 4 copies of scammer.-BG X
2/14/2020: a buzzfeed article is published in which Caroline claims Scammer would be out "as late as April" but will probably be out sooner. (Buzzfeed Pt. 2)
2/23/2020: Seven days until preorders for Scammer end “forever” -BG X
2/23/2020: Typos are my brand hats are announced as included with the purchase of two copies of scammer. Caroline claims that they will not be for sale but are an exclusive gift with scammer. -BG X
2/23/2020: Caroline posts the lonely boy zines hardcover for scammer. She does not offer any corrections/answers in the comments of people asking if this is the actual printed manuscript, implying by omission it is.-BG X
2/24/2020: Cancels Sarasota trip to edit the scammer manuscript in New York instead. Claims it will take 1 week. -BG X
2/24/2020: Announces that if you buy 3 copies of scammer, you will receive a mantra card (separate from the handwritten notes included in all copies, regardless of quantity ordered). Also announces that the free gifts stack, i.e. if you order 4 copies, you get the hat, card and BB. -BG X
2/28/2020: The first order of Scammer sold out (???) and it is now up for restock- BG X
3/1/2020: “today is the last day you can buy scammer” -BGX
3/2/2020: extends preorder deadline to today. Claims she will travel to NYC in March to sign the copies, and will ship “ON TIME” in early April.-BGX
3/11/2020: updated added to the website that preorders of scammer will end on 2/26/2019 and the book will ship in spring 2020, tentatively on 4/1/2020. - website.X
3/19/2020: Posts cover reveal of scammer, which is the same as the previous cover art posted. Claims book is copy edited and ready to go, but the printers are closed. This is the first BG announcement of refunds being available by emailing Ari. Claims all preorders have finally closed, 17 days after her initially announcing preorders are closed. -BG X
3/22/2020: Adam (her manager) emails a snarker back who sent an inquiry about purchasing Scammer after the preorder date ended. Adam responds that it is too late and that the order has already been sent to the printer. X
4/1/2020 (exact date unclear): Posts announcement on her website that she is combining scammer and IAMCC into one manuscript. IAMCC will be free if you have paid for scammer and is only available online. -websiteX
6/1/2020: Takes a break from scammer because of BLM?-story post X
6/8/2020: “Scammer is shipping later this month.” Caroline is no longer signing the book copies, and instead is switching to the “sticker fortune cookies”. Still claims all copies will come with something with her signature on.-BG X
6/24/2020: confirms in comment thread on a grid post that she is still planning on shipping Scammer by the end of the month. This has since been deleted and is no longer on her account. (Citation needed)
6/28/2020: Finished signing all the stickers. Says that the shipping journey will begin tomorrow, again does not clarify to the questions in the comments about what is shipping, the stickers or the book itself- BG X
7/1/2020: Caroline makes Cathy drive her to the post office in an adult fairy costume…No mention in the comments what she actually shipped, with the caption deliberately ambiguous.- BG X
7/3/2020: Caroline posts asking for a copy editor for her IAMCC essay, it is unclear if Scammer is also getting copy edited.-Story post X
7/6/2020: Announces that this is the final week to change your address or cancel your order by emailing Brigid before the 10th. -BG X
7/11/2020: Claims extra stickers are available if you still want to preorder Scammer, and still has the preorder option available on her website. -Story post X
7/20/2020: Updated on the website that the book is “estimated to ship August 31st”. Refunds are still advertised. No mention of this on her Instagram. -website X
7/21/2020: Typos are my brand hats are available to purchase on her site, despite claims that they are an exclusive gift for scammer. The first customer photo of just the hat is posted. -Story X
8/2/2020: Posts that scammer is getting “extra material”. Advertises that preorders are still available -story X
8/8/2020: Makes video claiming she is "reworking" Scammer, because she wants to make it about 2020, and not a tell all of her scam workshops, father’s passing, and the cut article. She claims a genre pivot. -BG X
(Notable missing item -- her commenting that it "will for sure ship at the end of the month" as a reply to someone on a grid post. I remember seeing it, but cannot for the life of me find it in her posts/as a screenshot)
EDITED from original posting: additions to the timeline after August 10th
8/20/2020: Caroline posts the official CC calendar of dates. A date for the release of scammer is notably absent, though the caption says "something big" is coming September 10th. There is speculation in the posts comments that this is scammers official release date, and caroline does not respond to any. Website still has the 31st estimated ship date posted.- BG X
8/21/2020: Caroline finally replies to a comment asking when scammer will arrive with "it's coming. Ask Brigid if you want a refund." She does not give any solid date or time, with 10 days to the alleged ship date.-BG X
8/22/2020: Caroline posts a Cambridge memory on her story about being part of a hunt club, and plugs that you should buy scammer because of the stories. Previously, she has claimed all Cambridge stories are part of AAWL, and she was adamant that they were going to be two separate books. In the next slide, she links the pre-order page for scammer, which is still open and accepting orders, 9 days until they are supposedly shipping. -story X
8/23/2020: someone comments and asks if there is a blurb they can read for scammer to see what its about. Caroline replies "no, its a gamble", despite her website claiming IACC ( which is back behind a paywall) would be included in scammer. X
8/29/20: After radio silence for ~4 days from Caroline, Brigid posts on Caroline's account for her, claiming she is very busy writing in preparation for the 31st.- story X
8/31/2020: Caroline does not post anything on instagram, big grid or stories, but is still active deleting comments. Scammer is still available to preorder.
9/2/2020: the first article has been posted asking "where is scammer?" has been posted by an Australian media site. So far there is no coverage from larger sites. * Article updated at the end of September(Mama Mia)
9/3/2020: Brigid replies to a direct mesaage asking for an update with the claim that it will ship sometime next week, and Caroline will "probably" give an update soon. Caroline is still MIA.-DM X
9/4/2020: Caroline returns the internet with a Scammer update in the form of 14 minute video. She claims the delays to scammer occurred after finding out her mother's cancer has returned in early August. The new anticipated ship date is Septemebr 17th, and she's changing the dedication to honor her mother now instead.-BG X X
9/17/2020: Caroline makes no mention of Scammer and does not respond to any comments about it shipping, but does post a bunch of tiktoks, a YouTube video, and multiple portraits of herself.
9/18/2020: Caroline posts an email screenshot she sent to her team, saying she was not going to get any work done today, sent at ~11 pm. The subject of the email is copy editing, implying the work she is not doing is editing Scammer, 1 day after its has already "shipped"-BG X
9/23/2020: Caroline posts a screenshot of a word document, claiming the page pictured will be an exclusive title page for the first edition printing, and will not be in subsequent print runs. This directly contradicts her claims that there will only be one printing and you must preorder it to recieve a copy or miss out on it "forever". The page makes a joke aboit how only a crazy person would have hung along through all the delays without getting a refund. She posts to her story claiming she is writing today, 6 days after the new new new ship date. -BG + storyX
9/25/2020: Caroline posts two stories about "limping" through the end of writting Scammer. In the second photo, she does not blur out the page count and it has 358 as the page total.-Story X
10/1/2020: Caroline posts a video about dreamer bbs, where she screenrecords her site. Scammer is still available for pre-order, but she scrolls by without acknowledgment.-story X
10/6/2020: at 4am after drinkingX, Caroline posts a grid post with the title for the first chapter of Scammer. The title is "I was Caroline Gotschall" and she's tagged 5 locations that go with the chapter. She accompanies these locations with stock images+ a photo of her father's house and calls it a chapter lookbook/preview. She also posts the opening line for the book, "When the curtain comes up, everything is a mess." which is directly plagiarizing the opening line of her annotated SCHOOL GIRL chapters, which she has previously sold for $4.99 a chapter. In a separate grid post, she posts a text conversation with an unknown person, asking if they've edited work she's sent them.-BG +story+ etsy pages X
10/8/2020: Caroline makes a post about Rowing Blazers and makes a joke in the caption about how she "makes books never" and then says kidding and that it's "almost here"-BG X
10/8/2020: Caroline posts a "lookbook" for Chapter 5 and titles it The Cantabrigian Princess, with the opening line "Put Cantabrigian Princess on my tombstone." This lookbook includes more stock photos of England and a book cover she photoshopped of Oscar Wilde. Caroline responds to a fan comment about Flatiron owning the rights to her Cambridge years with " A lot has changed this year".-BG+story X
10/8/2020: Caroline makes a long post about how she was unable to make the "revised" ship date of August 31st because of her Mom's cancer diagnosis. She asks that you request a refund with Brigid if you are impatient, and does not give any hard deadlines, again using the caretaking as a reason. She claims the original plan was to make Scammer 140 pages, but now it will be 350ish (microsoft word pages) once she "limps through the end of 2020". She says she plans to release more titles and lookbooks through out the next few weeks, and that her first book "will come very soon".-BG X
10/8/2020: Caroline posts the chapter 6 lookbook, which is another Cambridge chapter titled Hogwarts High Baroque. It again is a collection of stock images and screenshots from the Harry Potter movies. She posts the opening two "paragraphs", which are lines pulled directly from her I Am CC essay part 1, an old Instagram caption from 2019, and Prozac Nation.-BG +storyX
10/9/2020: Caroline posts a photo of her laptop with the screen blurred. At the top, you can see the document is titled Scammer Final. The only words you can see in the document itself are the ones she's already posted on her Instagram, and she has control-F up for "drug dealer". Caroline responds to a fan comment questioning the timeline that Scammer was at the printers in March. Caroline confirms she turned scammer into IAMCC at that time instead for her covid fundraiser, despite being adamant that they were two separate manuscripts. She also claims shes been working slowly on it when she hasn't been too busy caring for her mom, despite tbe fact that IAMCC stopped updating in May and Caroline not taking over caretaker duties until late September.-Story X
10/11/2020: Caroline posts her chapter 9 preview, which is titled "On Suicide". This chapter is about her father's passing, and the lookbook is images of his house, a selfie of Caroline, and his autopsy report. The excerpt is verbatim her opening paragraph from IAMCC part 2.5.-BG X
10/11/2020: Caroline posts her chapter 13 lookbook, titled "La La Sand." The images are from her trip to LA to meet with talent agents and be zany and sexual in the desert, as well as when she crashed a tailgate at Yale. The writing preview is one sentence pulled from a previous caption.-BG X
10/15/2020: Caroline posts a series of stories about how she thinks Scammer will be the next American Psycho. She advertises that you can still pre-order Scammer or request a refund from Brigid. She also says it will "arrive at your doorstep when it's ready", giving no new shipping estimate besides... Eventually?-StoryX
10/21/2020: after going off the grid for a few days, Caroline returns to announce her newest lover and makes a snide remark about how her book is late, and then promptly goes off grid again-BG X
10/23/2020: Caroline posts three paragraphs of writing, claiming it is "her most beautiful prose yet", and also claims her new ~lover~ is the new Natalie. It is unclear if that means that lover is editing/writing with her like OG Nataile did, or if they are just her new muse. Regardless, the words are a bit jumbled, but do not appear to have been plagerized from herself, which makes this the first original writing excerpt from Scammer .-BG X
10/27/2020: Caroline posts a series of stories at 1 am about writing. She captions it about drinking and taking her antidepressants at the same time is the only way to write, with multiple hard seltzer cans, a beer can, and wine bottle visible in the images. She also posts three books with annotations: Educated by Tara Westover, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, and Oxford: the Last Hurrah by Daffyd Jones. People have noted the writing excerpt posted on 10/23 sounded similar to Plath's style and word choices. She tags her manager in one photo asking if he can get her a role on a reality show as a reward for finishing Scammer eventually.-Stories X
11/8/2020: Caroline announces she's finally ready to write scammer, and that it will now be between 400-450 pages. Because she is upping the length, and since the quality "is better than ever", she is also going to increase the price, claiming this has to happen due to shipping costs for a heavier book. You can still purchase Scammer for $25 as of right now, and she posted two different swipe up links. She does not say what the new price will be, nor give any estimated shipping date.-BG + stories X
11/29/2020: Caroline responds to a comment on tiktok asking about Scammer with "how bizarre" which was the audio from the tiktok. She has not posted about Scammer on her Instagram nor responded to any comments concerning it since early November.-Tiktok X
12/2/2020: Caroline posts a nude with the caption that she managed to pay off her debt to Flatiron by earning 100k on Onlyfans this summer. Despite the inconsistencies with that claim, she says she now re-owns the rights to her Cambridge stories. She says she will include this material in Scammer now, again despite saying early this year she was going to publish this material as And We Were Like. Scammer is now "THEE book" that will encompass her entire life story.-BG X
12/2/2020: Mama Mia publishes a new article about Scammer that acts as a follow up to the article published in September. Mama Mia
12/7/2020: Caroline starts a new "art" venture, a flower fairy/faerie series, where she cuts fairies from Cicely Mary Barker books/postcards and puts them on gradient wrapping paper surrounded by Scammer quotes. The full transcription of quotes can be found here These quotes are some recycled ones from IAMCC and SCHOOL GIRL, but some are new lines, and almost all of them make zero sense as stand alone art without the context of a whole paragraph. These are $65 a piece, and are reminiscent of her selling individual decorated pages of the school girl proposal-BG. X
12/18/2020: Caroline announces the bouncing of Brigid and the hiring of Bradley, making this the 3rd assistant who now is responsible for Scammer refunds. She tags Bradley's account as the new contact point, but not before first asking for praise on Scammer. So far, she is still actively refunding people for Scammer.-BG X
1/2/2021: Caroline takes anyear long hour break from writing to promote her next art grift. Presumably the writing break is from writing Scammer, though she has yet to mention it by name in close to a month.-story X
1/20/2021: Caroline pivots to Pinterest, and her bio there mentions Scammer. "And We Were Like is the name of the book I've been trying my whole life to write. It still isn't finished. But Scammer will probably be done soon if you would like to preorder." Caroline responds to a comment asking about Scammer saying to contact Bradley for a refund. X
1/27/2021: Caroline updates her Patreon to include new tiers. In all of these tiers, she promises essays, some up to twice weekly, titled "Heart History". The topics for these essays include material that was supposedly going to be covered by Scammer. In her first patreon post, she admits that Scammer is not finished, nor is it close to being finished ~~nor will these essays every actually be finished~~. She hopes writing these essays will help motivate her to finish Scammer, with the first few essays coming from scraps from "earlier drafts" of Scammer, though it appears more likely that she is now just going to be charging for the same written material for a 3rd time.-Patreon X
1/29/2021: Caroline posts a photo of Red Scare Anna, and in the comments someone asks about Scammer, and Caroline replies that there is chapter all about her Red Scare live show called "Call her Red Scare."- BG X
1/30/2021: Caroline revives another old school grift, the "Reading Makes you Hotter" instagramsans Summer Dawn, where she promises to upload unhinged book reviews. The first post is a picture of the Scammer Notebook by Realitea on Etsy, however she does not tag Realitea on the post or clarify to those asking in the comments if it's actually a proof of the written Scammer. -BG (RMYH account) X
2/16/2021: Caroline posts a joke story about comparing her memoir writing to Taylor Swift's rerecordings of her first albums. She follows that story post with "JK that means I would actually have to write something". She also replies to a fan comment asking about Scammer saying she would "make lots of noise" about Scammer whenever its actually done.- Stories X
2/20/21: Caroline posts a series of stories, tagging Adam that she's "finally getting back into it, almost a year after the supposed ship date. The page count is 336, and the word count is 97k. Pages shown include her father's autopsy report, pages of tables, and the table of contents. There are 15 chapters + and an epilogue planned.- Stories X
3/13/21: Alexis Wilson, a frenemy of Caroline's, posts on her Instagram that Caroline hired Alexis to act as a sensitivity reader for Scammer. Caroline pre-paid Alexis and sent her 3 chapters via email with the subject line "The next great American memoir". Alexis had not read the chapters (and is not planning on posting them at this time) because she wanted to wait until she had the completed manuscript before starting the sensitivity read. Ironically, Alexis commented on a post about Brandon Bernard that Caroline was being racially insensitive, and has since been blocked.-Alexis's stories X
3/19/21: Caroline makes an official announcement concerning Scammer on the grid. The photo for the announcement is a photo she pulled from her RMYH Instagram, and is the cover of the snarker made notebook. While she has previously claimed that AWWL and Scammer were separate works, and Scammer would only cover 2019, she is now saying it will all be in one single novella, including everything from boarding school up to her mother's latest surgeries. She claims she can do this now because she has earned enough from OnlyFans to pay back Flatiron, but these claims remain unsubstantiated. She also says you can "take a gamble" and pre-order Scammer, and that it isn't ready yet, but will be done "soon". She does not give a hard deadline.-BG X
3/30/21: Noah, aka "Soup", Caroline's ex-partner, hosts an AMA on the sub. Someone asks if Soup has read Scammer, and they reply that they have read parts of it, but not a completed draft. They say that the section they read was unedited and not memorable. X
4/6/21: Gabrielle Bluestone publishes her book Hype:How Scammers, Grifters, and Con Artists Are Taking Over the Internet--And Why We're Following. Chapter 6 is all about Caroline and Scammer. A new piece of information I have not seen elsewhere is that the printer referenced in the March 19th post is owned by Adam's father. The printer does claim they got a cover mock up, but didn't get the completed length to estimate spine width. This subreddit also gets quite the shout-out!
4/7/21: Caroline posts a photo on the grid of a man with his face covered by a blue butterfly. Caroline claims he will be the editor of Scammer. One popular theory on his identity is Sam Koppelman.-BG X
4/16/21: Caroline goes on the It Girl Theory podcast to discuss Taylor Swift. At one point in the podcast, she says Scammer is completed and that people will be shocked that it's actually real. X
4/19/21: Caroline posts a photo of a butchered manicure, saying that her nails are finally correct enough to work on Scammer? She tags Adam in this post.- story X
5/5/21: Caroline posts another swipe-up link for Scammer, saying it is "close to being done, she swears".-Stories X
6/9/21: Caroline posts a meme about being close to the end of Scammer. She says she is working on the last chapter and it is called Plague.- Story X
6/21/21: Caroline posts a Scammer update. She has apparently recorded 4 audiobooks (in 5 hours only?) at Montez Press Radio to be released sometime this summer. One of the "books" will be Scammer, and she later clarifies it will include a physical copy too. Originally when Caroline was advertising her slot on Montez Press radio, she said the audiobooks would be free to download. It is unclear if the Scammer audiobook will also be free, which is concerning for those that paid money for it. In the comments of the post, Caroline confirms that the Scammer audiobook is the one thatis was available for preorder, will come out this summer, and "for sure coming this summer" which is exactly what she said a year ago almost to the date. She also includes a 15 second video of her recording the audio, in which she says "Chapter 7" and then goes into a story about Oscar and Cambridge.-BG X
6/23/21: Caroline posts an image of the Druken Canal gossip rag with the caption that this is the last time you will see printed writing from her until she "randomly" drops Scammer Taylor Swift style?-BG X
6/27/21: Caroline's episode of Montez Press drops. In it, she makes general references to Scammer, but the episode itself is just her reading the School Girl PDF word for word with additional commentary. X
6/29/21: Caroline posts a photo from a bar with her laptop screen whited out with Scammer typed above it.-Story X
7/4/21: Caroline records an episode of Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast, in which is defends Lena Dunham quite aggressively. Near the end, she starts talking about Scammer and how the hosts will hate how vapid it is since they disliked Lena's book. She also lists 4 things to expect from Scammer: 1. Controversy over her elitist money hungry attitude 2. Flowery prose 3. Fantasy worlds and 4. A relatable book for girls?- X
7/5/21: In a heavily filtered and edited video, Caroline announces her latest grift, a skin oil called Snake oil. She says she had this idea for a while, but she was too busy focusing on Scammer to start a new project. Now that Scammer is "wrapping up", she has time to focus on this new disaster. -Stories X
7/6/21: High on the fact that there was some scant coverage of her snake oil scam, Caroline posts that she can't wait for the media coverage of when she randomly ships Scammer this summer. -BG X
7/8/21: Caroline posts a selfie captioned about writing books. She then posts a photo of the 17-year-old who's trauma she had been exploiting, showing her face and instagram handle. According to the girl, Caroline is helping her write a book and the picture is them with their laptops open, presumably writing together in a bar. X
7/11/21: Caroline advertises Scammer as a package with Snake Oil, claiming it's the perfect CC cart. She has updated the description of Scammer on the website to simply say "Don't want it? Don't buy it. This masterpiece is coming when it comes." No date or general timeline is given. -stories X
7/13/21: Caroline posts a story about how she can focus on the digital yard sale now that "a bajilon" copies of Scammer on the way. While kept vague enough to imply shipping, none have been sent or received. -Story X
7/14/21: A photographer on twitter posts that Caroline has stolen his dogwood flower photo for the cover of Scammer. He mentions it's possible she paid for a commerical licence, but later confirms she did not and instead just ripped it off Google images and hoped no one noticed. He notes that it is illegal to use it for the marketing purposes she has and that even if she had the licence she could not use it in this manner. Caroline does not respond or acknowledge the photographer.- Twitter X
7/29/21: Caroline is going through childhood memorabilia and comes across a hand drawn book titled "My autobiography". She captions it with "Scammer coming soon".-stories X
8/22/21: Caroline reposts a meme from Tao Lin about Scammer, saying she will send free copies, but not for media review.-stories X
8/30/21: Caroline goes on the Wet brain podcast to discuss her literary catfight. In this, she says she is planning on buckling down in September and stop partying/dating to focus on writing Scammer. She says she wants to finish it this month. [X](
8/31/21: In a live stream, Caroline finally addresses the teapot incident. She first repeats the line about buckling down from the wet brain podcast, and then later says the teapot incident will be covered in Scammer. She says the peeing stuff was not sexual. X
9/3/21: Caroline does an interview with a newsletter to promote Scammer, where she once again tries to retcon the past and get you to preorder her book. She makes no mention of what the contents will be or when it will be out. X
9/11/21: Caroline posts that's she does not have WiFi at home, and will not turn it back on until Scammer is completed-BG X
9/16/21: Caroline makes a story saying that having a dead parent is great for writing...-storyX
10/4/21: People who ordered Scammer receive an email notification from Shopify saying it has shipped. Caroline does not post or comment anything about the book's shipping on her Instagram, and it is still available for purchase on her site. X
10/5/21: Caroline responds to a comment on TikTok saying that the shipping notification was an accident and that her assistant simply hit the wrong button on her store. X
10/12/21: Around 2PM in the afternoon, Caroline posts a story about waking up at 2 AM to write Scammer, implying she was writing Scammer nonstop for 12 hours. -story X
10/27/21: while in Cambridge, Caroline makes a post saying she got more work done on Scammer in the last three hours than she has in the last 3 yearsdespite Scammer only existing as even a thought for 2 and a half years. She posts a second story saying she wants to stay there to write, and if she goes at this pace, it will be done in 20 days. -stories X
10/28/21: Caroline posts that she is trying to produce 5K words a day for Scammer. -stories X
11/2/21: Caroline posts a plethora of grid posts about her current plans for Scammer. First, she announces that she won't be returning stateside until she finishes the book, and has rented a room in a hotel in Cambridge. Because of this, she asks people to DM her if they want topay her to petsit rent the tableaux from her, which includes a rental of Matisse? She then announces that she is changing the book title to "And We Were Like" because it's bigger than "internet gossip" at this point. She says in a comment that the intention was always for Scammer to be a chapter in AWWL, despite explicitly saying they were two separate books in Dec 2019. She is setting a self deadline of April of 2022, because she wants to have the book out before her 30th birthday party and that's the latest she can have it at the CT house before she loses her deposit. She also announces that she will be deleting Instagram from her home screen, and will only be posting when she A) needs money from her fans or b) needs to immortalize activities for her book?. She ends this update blitz with a post of an open word doc on her laptop next to a glass of wine, taken inside a conference room in Cambridge. The word doc does not have a page count visible or distinguishable text to ascertain content.-BG + stories X
Caroline's last two posts before this were both featuring a man who is an early/mid-twenties billionaire heir. There is speculation that Caroline is making a big show of the book to look like she has a job/some ambition ( a pattern consistent with Soup) and using it as an excuse to stay in England to try and wrangle it into a relationship with him.
11/15/21: While mostly off-grid, Caroline does occasionally pop in to post some navel-gazing prose, which seems to confirm she is at least writing something? X
11/27/21: After a few weeks of mostly silence, Caroline updates her bio to say "Pre-order my very real book, AND WE WERE LIKE". Underneath is a link to her site, which has been completely wiped except for the book order. The title has been changed to AWWL on using the same cover art she debuted in 2016. The site states that if you have pre-ordered Scammer, you will receive a copy of AWWL instead. She does not post a date, but says it will arrive when its finished. She has replaced the Scammer helpline with Manager Adam's email instead as the contact point. X
11/29/21: Caroline completely wipes her Instagram, with every single photo and highlight archived, and every single person unfollowed. She does this to her onlyfans, twitter, and other Instagrams, with the exception of RMYH. It is unclear her exact motivation behind this, but one theory is that she is going to compile all the captions into a picture book and publish that as AWWL. X
12/23/21: Brock Colyar, the columnist behind Are U Coming, puts out a newsletter where he asks previous interviewees how they are handling the newest covid wave. Caroline is quoted describing her England trip and saying she's holed up finishing her memoir.X
1/6/22: Nick posts photos of Caroline clearly back in NYC. She pops up occasionally in other DS adjacent peoples' stories once Nick is gone, implying that she is back in the city semi-permanently, and not just for the holidays. Caroline is still silent on instagram and mostly silent on Twitter (likes only). Her website and preorder info is still in her bio, but the website is inactive and any other contact info for refunds is removed, leaving DM's as the only option and nowhere to ask publicly. X
2/20/22: Glamdemon posts a tweet after hanging out with Caroline multiple nights, where she claims Caroline is in "zen mode" and taking time offline while she finishes her book. CC is still MIA on her own page, but pops up in various NYC Instagram stories, confirming she is still in the city and still frequently going out. X
The Scammer journey continues in Part two
submitted by Poniesandproteins to SmolBeanSnark [link] [comments]
I will continue to update ths post until Scammer has been finalized and received by customers.
The full receipt gallery: Receipt-Imgur
The Scammer Timeline:
12/17/2019: Caroline has AWWL listed on her site as coming soon. Scammer is not yet conceptualized- website X
12/18/2019: Caroline talks about publishing something and is worried that no one will read it-BG X
12/23/2019: Caroline announces a “small book” that will self-publish in January-BG X
12/29/2019: Posts first scammer cover and announced the presale will start on Jan 15th, i.e. the scammiversary-BG X
12/31/2019: There will be two separate books, AWWL and Scammer. Scammer will cover all of 2019.- BG X
1/7/2020: Caroline announces she will stay in Sarasota until she finishes scammer. It is unclear what day she returned to NYC-BG X
1/14/2020: Announces preorders for Scammer will start tomorrow-BG X
1/15/2020: Carolinecalloway.com launches and preorders officially open, with the infamous cover reveal coming soon-BG X
1/15/2020: Caroline gets press coverage about scammer, from sites like Buzzfeed, Nylon, and Guardian. None of the press gets an excerpt or review copy of the text.-BG (Nylon) (Paper) (Dazed) (Buzzfeed) (Guardian)
1/18/2020: Scammer is now available for international preorder-BG X
1/21/2020: Announces scammer will only be sold as preorders, and not carried in any store.-BG X
1/27/2020: All orders of scammer will be signed with a “love note” from caroline.-BG X
1/29/2020: Claims again that all copies of scammer will come with handwritten notes-BG X
1/29/2020: Claims AWWL is still under contract with Flatiron, and is a different manuscript than Scammer-BG X
1/31/2020: Announces first “giveaway” of a free special edition BB if you purchase 4 copies of scammer.-BG X
2/14/2020: a buzzfeed article is published in which Caroline claims Scammer would be out "as late as April" but will probably be out sooner. (Buzzfeed Pt. 2)
2/23/2020: Seven days until preorders for Scammer end “forever” -BG X
2/23/2020: Typos are my brand hats are announced as included with the purchase of two copies of scammer. Caroline claims that they will not be for sale but are an exclusive gift with scammer. -BG X
2/23/2020: Caroline posts the lonely boy zines hardcover for scammer. She does not offer any corrections/answers in the comments of people asking if this is the actual printed manuscript, implying by omission it is.-BG X
2/24/2020: Cancels Sarasota trip to edit the scammer manuscript in New York instead. Claims it will take 1 week. -BG X
2/24/2020: Announces that if you buy 3 copies of scammer, you will receive a mantra card (separate from the handwritten notes included in all copies, regardless of quantity ordered). Also announces that the free gifts stack, i.e. if you order 4 copies, you get the hat, card and BB. -BG X
2/28/2020: The first order of Scammer sold out (???) and it is now up for restock- BG X
3/1/2020: “today is the last day you can buy scammer” -BGX
3/2/2020: extends preorder deadline to today. Claims she will travel to NYC in March to sign the copies, and will ship “ON TIME” in early April.-BGX
3/11/2020: updated added to the website that preorders of scammer will end on 2/26/2019 and the book will ship in spring 2020, tentatively on 4/1/2020. - website.X
3/19/2020: Posts cover reveal of scammer, which is the same as the previous cover art posted. Claims book is copy edited and ready to go, but the printers are closed. This is the first BG announcement of refunds being available by emailing Ari. Claims all preorders have finally closed, 17 days after her initially announcing preorders are closed. -BG X
3/22/2020: Adam (her manager) emails a snarker back who sent an inquiry about purchasing Scammer after the preorder date ended. Adam responds that it is too late and that the order has already been sent to the printer. X
4/1/2020 (exact date unclear): Posts announcement on her website that she is combining scammer and IAMCC into one manuscript. IAMCC will be free if you have paid for scammer and is only available online. -websiteX
6/1/2020: Takes a break from scammer because of BLM?-story post X
6/8/2020: “Scammer is shipping later this month.” Caroline is no longer signing the book copies, and instead is switching to the “sticker fortune cookies”. Still claims all copies will come with something with her signature on.-BG X
6/24/2020: confirms in comment thread on a grid post that she is still planning on shipping Scammer by the end of the month. This has since been deleted and is no longer on her account. (Citation needed)
6/28/2020: Finished signing all the stickers. Says that the shipping journey will begin tomorrow, again does not clarify to the questions in the comments about what is shipping, the stickers or the book itself- BG X
7/1/2020: Caroline makes Cathy drive her to the post office in an adult fairy costume…No mention in the comments what she actually shipped, with the caption deliberately ambiguous.- BG X
7/3/2020: Caroline posts asking for a copy editor for her IAMCC essay, it is unclear if Scammer is also getting copy edited.-Story post X
7/6/2020: Announces that this is the final week to change your address or cancel your order by emailing Brigid before the 10th. -BG X
7/11/2020: Claims extra stickers are available if you still want to preorder Scammer, and still has the preorder option available on her website. -Story post X
7/20/2020: Updated on the website that the book is “estimated to ship August 31st”. Refunds are still advertised. No mention of this on her Instagram. -website X
7/21/2020: Typos are my brand hats are available to purchase on her site, despite claims that they are an exclusive gift for scammer. The first customer photo of just the hat is posted. -Story X
8/2/2020: Posts that scammer is getting “extra material”. Advertises that preorders are still available -story X
8/8/2020: Makes video claiming she is "reworking" Scammer, because she wants to make it about 2020, and not a tell all of her scam workshops, father’s passing, and the cut article. She claims a genre pivot. -BG X
(Notable missing item -- her commenting that it "will for sure ship at the end of the month" as a reply to someone on a grid post. I remember seeing it, but cannot for the life of me find it in her posts/as a screenshot)
EDITED from original posting: additions to the timeline after August 10th
8/20/2020: Caroline posts the official CC calendar of dates. A date for the release of scammer is notably absent, though the caption says "something big" is coming September 10th. There is speculation in the posts comments that this is scammers official release date, and caroline does not respond to any. Website still has the 31st estimated ship date posted.- BG X
8/21/2020: Caroline finally replies to a comment asking when scammer will arrive with "it's coming. Ask Brigid if you want a refund." She does not give any solid date or time, with 10 days to the alleged ship date.-BG X
8/22/2020: Caroline posts a Cambridge memory on her story about being part of a hunt club, and plugs that you should buy scammer because of the stories. Previously, she has claimed all Cambridge stories are part of AAWL, and she was adamant that they were going to be two separate books. In the next slide, she links the pre-order page for scammer, which is still open and accepting orders, 9 days until they are supposedly shipping. -story X
8/23/2020: someone comments and asks if there is a blurb they can read for scammer to see what its about. Caroline replies "no, its a gamble", despite her website claiming IACC ( which is back behind a paywall) would be included in scammer. X
8/29/20: After radio silence for ~4 days from Caroline, Brigid posts on Caroline's account for her, claiming she is very busy writing in preparation for the 31st.- story X
8/31/2020: Caroline does not post anything on instagram, big grid or stories, but is still active deleting comments. Scammer is still available to preorder.
9/2/2020: the first article has been posted asking "where is scammer?" has been posted by an Australian media site. So far there is no coverage from larger sites. * Article updated at the end of September(Mama Mia)
9/3/2020: Brigid replies to a direct mesaage asking for an update with the claim that it will ship sometime next week, and Caroline will "probably" give an update soon. Caroline is still MIA.-DM X
9/4/2020: Caroline returns the internet with a Scammer update in the form of 14 minute video. She claims the delays to scammer occurred after finding out her mother's cancer has returned in early August. The new anticipated ship date is Septemebr 17th, and she's changing the dedication to honor her mother now instead.-BG X X
9/17/2020: Caroline makes no mention of Scammer and does not respond to any comments about it shipping, but does post a bunch of tiktoks, a YouTube video, and multiple portraits of herself.
9/18/2020: Caroline posts an email screenshot she sent to her team, saying she was not going to get any work done today, sent at ~11 pm. The subject of the email is copy editing, implying the work she is not doing is editing Scammer, 1 day after its has already "shipped"-BG X
9/23/2020: Caroline posts a screenshot of a word document, claiming the page pictured will be an exclusive title page for the first edition printing, and will not be in subsequent print runs. This directly contradicts her claims that there will only be one printing and you must preorder it to recieve a copy or miss out on it "forever". The page makes a joke aboit how only a crazy person would have hung along through all the delays without getting a refund. She posts to her story claiming she is writing today, 6 days after the new new new ship date. -BG + storyX
9/25/2020: Caroline posts two stories about "limping" through the end of writting Scammer. In the second photo, she does not blur out the page count and it has 358 as the page total.-Story X
10/1/2020: Caroline posts a video about dreamer bbs, where she screenrecords her site. Scammer is still available for pre-order, but she scrolls by without acknowledgment.-story X
10/6/2020: at 4am after drinkingX, Caroline posts a grid post with the title for the first chapter of Scammer. The title is "I was Caroline Gotschall" and she's tagged 5 locations that go with the chapter. She accompanies these locations with stock images+ a photo of her father's house and calls it a chapter lookbook/preview. She also posts the opening line for the book, "When the curtain comes up, everything is a mess." which is directly plagiarizing the opening line of her annotated SCHOOL GIRL chapters, which she has previously sold for $4.99 a chapter. In a separate grid post, she posts a text conversation with an unknown person, asking if they've edited work she's sent them.-BG +story+ etsy pages X
10/8/2020: Caroline makes a post about Rowing Blazers and makes a joke in the caption about how she "makes books never" and then says kidding and that it's "almost here"-BG X
10/8/2020: Caroline posts a "lookbook" for Chapter 5 and titles it The Cantabrigian Princess, with the opening line "Put Cantabrigian Princess on my tombstone." This lookbook includes more stock photos of England and a book cover she photoshopped of Oscar Wilde. Caroline responds to a fan comment about Flatiron owning the rights to her Cambridge years with " A lot has changed this year".-BG+story X
10/8/2020: Caroline makes a long post about how she was unable to make the "revised" ship date of August 31st because of her Mom's cancer diagnosis. She asks that you request a refund with Brigid if you are impatient, and does not give any hard deadlines, again using the caretaking as a reason. She claims the original plan was to make Scammer 140 pages, but now it will be 350ish (microsoft word pages) once she "limps through the end of 2020". She says she plans to release more titles and lookbooks through out the next few weeks, and that her first book "will come very soon".-BG X
10/8/2020: Caroline posts the chapter 6 lookbook, which is another Cambridge chapter titled Hogwarts High Baroque. It again is a collection of stock images and screenshots from the Harry Potter movies. She posts the opening two "paragraphs", which are lines pulled directly from her I Am CC essay part 1, an old Instagram caption from 2019, and Prozac Nation.-BG +storyX
10/9/2020: Caroline posts a photo of her laptop with the screen blurred. At the top, you can see the document is titled Scammer Final. The only words you can see in the document itself are the ones she's already posted on her Instagram, and she has control-F up for "drug dealer". Caroline responds to a fan comment questioning the timeline that Scammer was at the printers in March. Caroline confirms she turned scammer into IAMCC at that time instead for her covid fundraiser, despite being adamant that they were two separate manuscripts. She also claims shes been working slowly on it when she hasn't been too busy caring for her mom, despite tbe fact that IAMCC stopped updating in May and Caroline not taking over caretaker duties until late September.-Story X
10/11/2020: Caroline posts her chapter 9 preview, which is titled "On Suicide". This chapter is about her father's passing, and the lookbook is images of his house, a selfie of Caroline, and his autopsy report. The excerpt is verbatim her opening paragraph from IAMCC part 2.5.-BG X
10/11/2020: Caroline posts her chapter 13 lookbook, titled "La La Sand." The images are from her trip to LA to meet with talent agents and be zany and sexual in the desert, as well as when she crashed a tailgate at Yale. The writing preview is one sentence pulled from a previous caption.-BG X
10/15/2020: Caroline posts a series of stories about how she thinks Scammer will be the next American Psycho. She advertises that you can still pre-order Scammer or request a refund from Brigid. She also says it will "arrive at your doorstep when it's ready", giving no new shipping estimate besides... Eventually?-StoryX
10/21/2020: after going off the grid for a few days, Caroline returns to announce her newest lover and makes a snide remark about how her book is late, and then promptly goes off grid again-BG X
10/23/2020: Caroline posts three paragraphs of writing, claiming it is "her most beautiful prose yet", and also claims her new ~lover~ is the new Natalie. It is unclear if that means that lover is editing/writing with her like OG Nataile did, or if they are just her new muse. Regardless, the words are a bit jumbled, but do not appear to have been plagerized from herself, which makes this the first original writing excerpt from Scammer .-BG X
10/27/2020: Caroline posts a series of stories at 1 am about writing. She captions it about drinking and taking her antidepressants at the same time is the only way to write, with multiple hard seltzer cans, a beer can, and wine bottle visible in the images. She also posts three books with annotations: Educated by Tara Westover, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, and Oxford: the Last Hurrah by Daffyd Jones. People have noted the writing excerpt posted on 10/23 sounded similar to Plath's style and word choices. She tags her manager in one photo asking if he can get her a role on a reality show as a reward for finishing Scammer eventually.-Stories X
11/8/2020: Caroline announces she's finally ready to write scammer, and that it will now be between 400-450 pages. Because she is upping the length, and since the quality "is better than ever", she is also going to increase the price, claiming this has to happen due to shipping costs for a heavier book. You can still purchase Scammer for $25 as of right now, and she posted two different swipe up links. She does not say what the new price will be, nor give any estimated shipping date.-BG + stories X
11/29/2020: Caroline responds to a comment on tiktok asking about Scammer with "how bizarre" which was the audio from the tiktok. She has not posted about Scammer on her Instagram nor responded to any comments concerning it since early November.-Tiktok X
12/2/2020: Caroline posts a nude with the caption that she managed to pay off her debt to Flatiron by earning 100k on Onlyfans this summer. Despite the inconsistencies with that claim, she says she now re-owns the rights to her Cambridge stories. She says she will include this material in Scammer now, again despite saying early this year she was going to publish this material as And We Were Like. Scammer is now "THEE book" that will encompass her entire life story.-BG X
12/2/2020: Mama Mia publishes a new article about Scammer that acts as a follow up to the article published in September. Mama Mia
12/7/2020: Caroline starts a new "art" venture, a flower fairy/faerie series, where she cuts fairies from Cicely Mary Barker books/postcards and puts them on gradient wrapping paper surrounded by Scammer quotes. The full transcription of quotes can be found here These quotes are some recycled ones from IAMCC and SCHOOL GIRL, but some are new lines, and almost all of them make zero sense as stand alone art without the context of a whole paragraph. These are $65 a piece, and are reminiscent of her selling individual decorated pages of the school girl proposal-BG. X
12/18/2020: Caroline announces the bouncing of Brigid and the hiring of Bradley, making this the 3rd assistant who now is responsible for Scammer refunds. She tags Bradley's account as the new contact point, but not before first asking for praise on Scammer. So far, she is still actively refunding people for Scammer.-BG X
1/2/2021: Caroline takes an
1/20/2021: Caroline pivots to Pinterest, and her bio there mentions Scammer. "And We Were Like is the name of the book I've been trying my whole life to write. It still isn't finished. But Scammer will probably be done soon if you would like to preorder." Caroline responds to a comment asking about Scammer saying to contact Bradley for a refund. X
1/27/2021: Caroline updates her Patreon to include new tiers. In all of these tiers, she promises essays, some up to twice weekly, titled "Heart History". The topics for these essays include material that was supposedly going to be covered by Scammer. In her first patreon post, she admits that Scammer is not finished, nor is it close to being finished ~~nor will these essays every actually be finished~~. She hopes writing these essays will help motivate her to finish Scammer, with the first few essays coming from scraps from "earlier drafts" of Scammer, though it appears more likely that she is now just going to be charging for the same written material for a 3rd time.-Patreon X
1/29/2021: Caroline posts a photo of Red Scare Anna, and in the comments someone asks about Scammer, and Caroline replies that there is chapter all about her Red Scare live show called "Call her Red Scare."- BG X
1/30/2021: Caroline revives another old school grift, the "Reading Makes you Hotter" instagram
2/16/2021: Caroline posts a joke story about comparing her memoir writing to Taylor Swift's rerecordings of her first albums. She follows that story post with "JK that means I would actually have to write something". She also replies to a fan comment asking about Scammer saying she would "make lots of noise" about Scammer whenever its actually done.- Stories X
2/20/21: Caroline posts a series of stories, tagging Adam that she's "finally getting back into it, almost a year after the supposed ship date. The page count is 336, and the word count is 97k. Pages shown include her father's autopsy report, pages of tables, and the table of contents. There are 15 chapters + and an epilogue planned.- Stories X
3/13/21: Alexis Wilson, a frenemy of Caroline's, posts on her Instagram that Caroline hired Alexis to act as a sensitivity reader for Scammer. Caroline pre-paid Alexis and sent her 3 chapters via email with the subject line "The next great American memoir". Alexis had not read the chapters (and is not planning on posting them at this time) because she wanted to wait until she had the completed manuscript before starting the sensitivity read. Ironically, Alexis commented on a post about Brandon Bernard that Caroline was being racially insensitive, and has since been blocked.-Alexis's stories X
3/19/21: Caroline makes an official announcement concerning Scammer on the grid. The photo for the announcement is a photo she pulled from her RMYH Instagram, and is the cover of the snarker made notebook. While she has previously claimed that AWWL and Scammer were separate works, and Scammer would only cover 2019, she is now saying it will all be in one single novella, including everything from boarding school up to her mother's latest surgeries. She claims she can do this now because she has earned enough from OnlyFans to pay back Flatiron, but these claims remain unsubstantiated. She also says you can "take a gamble" and pre-order Scammer, and that it isn't ready yet, but will be done "soon". She does not give a hard deadline.-BG X
3/30/21: Noah, aka "Soup", Caroline's ex-partner, hosts an AMA on the sub. Someone asks if Soup has read Scammer, and they reply that they have read parts of it, but not a completed draft. They say that the section they read was unedited and not memorable. X
4/6/21: Gabrielle Bluestone publishes her book Hype:How Scammers, Grifters, and Con Artists Are Taking Over the Internet--And Why We're Following. Chapter 6 is all about Caroline and Scammer. A new piece of information I have not seen elsewhere is that the printer referenced in the March 19th post is owned by Adam's father. The printer does claim they got a cover mock up, but didn't get the completed length to estimate spine width. This subreddit also gets quite the shout-out!
4/7/21: Caroline posts a photo on the grid of a man with his face covered by a blue butterfly. Caroline claims he will be the editor of Scammer. One popular theory on his identity is Sam Koppelman.-BG X
4/16/21: Caroline goes on the It Girl Theory podcast to discuss Taylor Swift. At one point in the podcast, she says Scammer is completed and that people will be shocked that it's actually real. X
4/19/21: Caroline posts a photo of a butchered manicure, saying that her nails are finally correct enough to work on Scammer? She tags Adam in this post.- story X
5/5/21: Caroline posts another swipe-up link for Scammer, saying it is "close to being done, she swears".-Stories X
6/9/21: Caroline posts a meme about being close to the end of Scammer. She says she is working on the last chapter and it is called Plague.- Story X
6/21/21: Caroline posts a Scammer update. She has apparently recorded 4 audiobooks (in 5 hours only?) at Montez Press Radio to be released sometime this summer. One of the "books" will be Scammer, and she later clarifies it will include a physical copy too. Originally when Caroline was advertising her slot on Montez Press radio, she said the audiobooks would be free to download. It is unclear if the Scammer audiobook will also be free, which is concerning for those that paid money for it. In the comments of the post, Caroline confirms that the Scammer audiobook is the one that
6/23/21: Caroline posts an image of the Druken Canal gossip rag with the caption that this is the last time you will see printed writing from her until she "randomly" drops Scammer Taylor Swift style?-BG X
6/27/21: Caroline's episode of Montez Press drops. In it, she makes general references to Scammer, but the episode itself is just her reading the School Girl PDF word for word with additional commentary. X
6/29/21: Caroline posts a photo from a bar with her laptop screen whited out with Scammer typed above it.-Story X
7/4/21: Caroline records an episode of Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast, in which is defends Lena Dunham quite aggressively. Near the end, she starts talking about Scammer and how the hosts will hate how vapid it is since they disliked Lena's book. She also lists 4 things to expect from Scammer: 1. Controversy over her elitist money hungry attitude 2. Flowery prose 3. Fantasy worlds and 4. A relatable book for girls?- X
7/5/21: In a heavily filtered and edited video, Caroline announces her latest grift, a skin oil called Snake oil. She says she had this idea for a while, but she was too busy focusing on Scammer to start a new project. Now that Scammer is "wrapping up", she has time to focus on this new disaster. -Stories X
7/6/21: High on the fact that there was some scant coverage of her snake oil scam, Caroline posts that she can't wait for the media coverage of when she randomly ships Scammer this summer. -BG X
7/8/21: Caroline posts a selfie captioned about writing books. She then posts a photo of the 17-year-old who's trauma she had been exploiting, showing her face and instagram handle. According to the girl, Caroline is helping her write a book and the picture is them with their laptops open, presumably writing together in a bar. X
7/11/21: Caroline advertises Scammer as a package with Snake Oil, claiming it's the perfect CC cart. She has updated the description of Scammer on the website to simply say "Don't want it? Don't buy it. This masterpiece is coming when it comes." No date or general timeline is given. -stories X
7/13/21: Caroline posts a story about how she can focus on the digital yard sale now that "a bajilon" copies of Scammer on the way. While kept vague enough to imply shipping, none have been sent or received. -Story X
7/14/21: A photographer on twitter posts that Caroline has stolen his dogwood flower photo for the cover of Scammer. He mentions it's possible she paid for a commerical licence, but later confirms she did not and instead just ripped it off Google images and hoped no one noticed. He notes that it is illegal to use it for the marketing purposes she has and that even if she had the licence she could not use it in this manner. Caroline does not respond or acknowledge the photographer.- Twitter X
7/29/21: Caroline is going through childhood memorabilia and comes across a hand drawn book titled "My autobiography". She captions it with "Scammer coming soon".-stories X
8/22/21: Caroline reposts a meme from Tao Lin about Scammer, saying she will send free copies, but not for media review.-stories X
8/30/21: Caroline goes on the Wet brain podcast to discuss her literary catfight. In this, she says she is planning on buckling down in September and stop partying/dating to focus on writing Scammer. She says she wants to finish it this month. [X](
8/31/21: In a live stream, Caroline finally addresses the teapot incident. She first repeats the line about buckling down from the wet brain podcast, and then later says the teapot incident will be covered in Scammer. She says the peeing stuff was not sexual. X
9/3/21: Caroline does an interview with a newsletter to promote Scammer, where she once again tries to retcon the past and get you to preorder her book. She makes no mention of what the contents will be or when it will be out. X
9/11/21: Caroline posts that's she does not have WiFi at home, and will not turn it back on until Scammer is completed-BG X
9/16/21: Caroline makes a story saying that having a dead parent is great for writing...-storyX
10/4/21: People who ordered Scammer receive an email notification from Shopify saying it has shipped. Caroline does not post or comment anything about the book's shipping on her Instagram, and it is still available for purchase on her site. X
10/5/21: Caroline responds to a comment on TikTok saying that the shipping notification was an accident and that her assistant simply hit the wrong button on her store. X
10/12/21: Around 2PM in the afternoon, Caroline posts a story about waking up at 2 AM to write Scammer, implying she was writing Scammer nonstop for 12 hours. -story X
10/27/21: while in Cambridge, Caroline makes a post saying she got more work done on Scammer in the last three hours than she has in the last 3 years
10/28/21: Caroline posts that she is trying to produce 5K words a day for Scammer. -stories X
11/2/21: Caroline posts a plethora of grid posts about her current plans for Scammer. First, she announces that she won't be returning stateside until she finishes the book, and has rented a room in a hotel in Cambridge. Because of this, she asks people to DM her if they want to
Caroline's last two posts before this were both featuring a man who is an early/mid-twenties billionaire heir. There is speculation that Caroline is making a big show of the book to look like she has a job/some ambition ( a pattern consistent with Soup) and using it as an excuse to stay in England to try and wrangle it into a relationship with him.
11/15/21: While mostly off-grid, Caroline does occasionally pop in to post some navel-gazing prose, which seems to confirm she is at least writing something? X
11/27/21: After a few weeks of mostly silence, Caroline updates her bio to say "Pre-order my very real book, AND WE WERE LIKE". Underneath is a link to her site, which has been completely wiped except for the book order. The title has been changed to AWWL on using the same cover art she debuted in 2016. The site states that if you have pre-ordered Scammer, you will receive a copy of AWWL instead. She does not post a date, but says it will arrive when its finished. She has replaced the Scammer helpline with Manager Adam's email instead as the contact point. X
11/29/21: Caroline completely wipes her Instagram, with every single photo and highlight archived, and every single person unfollowed. She does this to her onlyfans, twitter, and other Instagrams, with the exception of RMYH. It is unclear her exact motivation behind this, but one theory is that she is going to compile all the captions into a picture book and publish that as AWWL. X
12/23/21: Brock Colyar, the columnist behind Are U Coming, puts out a newsletter where he asks previous interviewees how they are handling the newest covid wave. Caroline is quoted describing her England trip and saying she's holed up finishing her memoir.X
1/6/22: Nick posts photos of Caroline clearly back in NYC. She pops up occasionally in other DS adjacent peoples' stories once Nick is gone, implying that she is back in the city semi-permanently, and not just for the holidays. Caroline is still silent on instagram and mostly silent on Twitter (likes only). Her website and preorder info is still in her bio, but the website is inactive and any other contact info for refunds is removed, leaving DM's as the only option and nowhere to ask publicly. X
2/20/22: Glamdemon posts a tweet after hanging out with Caroline multiple nights, where she claims Caroline is in "zen mode" and taking time offline while she finishes her book. CC is still MIA on her own page, but pops up in various NYC Instagram stories, confirming she is still in the city and still frequently going out. X
The Scammer journey continues in Part two
2020.05.26 20:22 southpawFA Top 10 Signs I knew I was Asexual
So, I recently did my AMA a few days ago, and I have to honestly say that it was a blast for me to do. Thank you everyone here who participated in my asexuality AMA. I am so grateful for you guys joining me and helping me not only answer questions, but also asking them. I appreciate everyone for joining in on this. I'm grateful.
There were quite a bit of new people who asked me some questions pertaining to asexuality, and there quite a bit who were truly interested in knowing. The AMA was all the way a positive thing; there were many positive, affirming people on the AMA. It was amazing.
That being said, there was one common question that I consistently ran into.
"How do you know if you are asexual?"
That question came up at least four times during the AMA. There seemed to be a bunch of people who were out wondering about what the signs of asexuality are. The fact is there isn't really a clear cut answer for that. However, that did leave me to start thinking about my own life, and what I saw were my personal signs of asexuality. Off of that, I started to make my own works. So, I am going to come up with my own Top 10 Asexual Signs list, detailing the signs that told me that I might be asexual.
I am going to make posts going from 1-10. One post each, explaining how I came to know for myself I was asexual. I
Now, you might identify with all of my top ten list. You might not resonate with any of my top 10 list. Asexuas is so varied in our experiences that it's s that's going to have a universally agreed-upon top 10. This is mine, however. You might find a cordiality with my reasons. That being said, without further ado, these are my Asexuality Top Ten Signs.
I'm going start with #1 today!
1) You have never felt as interested in sex as others seem to be. You don't typically fit in with society.
Does anybody remember the string of cases involving teachers having sex with their students? There was a huge string of them that became sensationalized headlines in the 2000s. It involved teachers getting caught with students in what should have been called out as rape being normalized as cool by the mainstream culture as "every male's fantasy". I remember three cases involving three different teachers that became headline stories when I was growing up: Debra Lafave, Mary Kay Latourneau, and Sara Jones. While the boy was being raped by his teacher, everyone seemed to play it off as the boy involved in each case "was not really a victim" since "this is what every boy & man wants to happen".
Comedian Bill Maher stated this in relation to the Debra Lafave case in full quote:
"I think it’s a little offbeat, but you know, I believe in the double standard," Maher told Playboy. "If a 28-year-old male teacher is screwing a 13-year-old girl, that’s a crime. But with Debra Lafave [another teacher who had sex with a student] screwing her 14-year-old boy student, the crime is that we didn’t get it on videotape. Was he being taken advantage of? I wish I had been taken advantage of like that. What a memory she gave him! I would think he’s a champion among his friends. (HollywoodReporter.com)
There have been many cases involving a teacher having sex with her student, particularly a female teacher with a male student, and the main outcry from many people (particularly men) is that it didn't happen to them.
"I wish she would have abused me! I would have loved for her to rape me!"
"How come I couldn't have had sex with my teachers? Lucky!"
"Come on, how could a woman rape a man? Men can't be raped! No real man would turn down free sex! He's no victim! He's lucky, that's what he is! He's a player!"
Ok, that last part was a bit over the top. I did that for emphasis, really.
That being said, it is technically not counted as rape if a woman has sex with a woman in the majority of the U.S. I can't speak for other nations, but it is technically not a crime of rape if a male is forced to have sex by a woman. It can be a crime in other areas, such as lewd and lascivious behavior, which could technically be counted as a misdemeanor (such as in the case of Debra Lafave). It can be counted as endangering the welfare of a minor if it's a boy. However, the crime of rape technically not on the books for female forcible rape. Convictions will still land you on the registry, but there isn't a guarantee one will serve time in prison for such an act. There is activism for laws to get changed by statutes. However, I know that in many states in the U.S., it is still permissible to technically rape a man without facing charges of rape.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11572-018-9485-6
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/international-journal-of-law-in-context/article/oh-youre-a-guy-how-could-you-be-raped-by-a-woman-that-makes-no-sense-towards-a-case-for-legally-recognising-and-labelling-forcedtopenetrate-cases-as-rape/8166CABA33BBE64EBBAD384E1FE13551/core-reader
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predato503492/
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/these-men-say-women-raped-them-but-the-law-doesnt-agree_uk_5d396ed7e4b0419fd338515d
Double standards still exist, everyone.
Besides the fact it's a power imbalance between student and teacher that's being levied in this case, the boy was underage or maybe close to of age. The fact of the matter is it's still rape.
Yet, for many, it didn't seem to be that way.
Porn often likes the common trope of a teacher having sex with student, playing it off as forbidden fruit that's sweet from the vine. The teacher-student stereotype caters to the palate of common male fantasies, just like naughty librarians and sultry cheerleaders do. It's all for the male fantasy, because it's what all males love. Commericals do this quite often as well.
A commercial for tag body spray was done off the premise from the male fantasy.
The premise was to buy this tag body spray, and a horny mom will start hitting on you irresistibly. I think that's the point. Although I can't help but ask the question when I watch the commercial:
How do buttons just fly off of a shirt like boomerangs?!
Commercial logic right there.
You put me in that situation, and I would have been completely terrified, running for the door. I'm going to talk about that in a later post.
However, that is the complete point of it all. You're not supposed to think of that kind of stuff. You're only interested in the steamy stuff and like it.
That was never me. I always seemed to not understand how people could love that stuff. I always found things like that leery and creepy.
I can't really speak for girls, honestly, as I am not one. However, as a guy, the whole culture around men is fixated and geared towards sex. If you were a guy like me, you had a hard time fitting in.
That's an understatement on my end.
I remember growing up around people, and everyone would talk about who was hot or not, who they wanted to have sex with, and how much they wanted to have sex. I recalled having one conversation where people were stating they "loved steak". It was a conversation talking about steak, I thought. Turned out the conversation wasn't about cuts of a cow. They were talking about "the deed", in reality. It was something so foreign from me. I remember all I did during that conversation was nod my head and just say nothing.
That was me in high school trying to get pass social interactions. There was a reason I loved the library and computer labs more than lunch. It wasn't just the food!
There were many a times where I felt I had to force myself to try to be sexual, so that I could fit in with the rest of the crowd. Back in my high school days (Gosh, I feel so old!), there weren't any asexual people out. There wasn't an asexual community. There wasn't really even a gay community in my area! The world basically existed that to be straight was the only way, and other ways were a perversion of that. So, I tried to force myself into sexuality. I couldn't ever do it, though, even though I tried.
I tried manufacturing crushes on people, I tried faking relationships so I wouldn't be seen as weird for not being in a relationship. Truth be told, the first almost relationship I had was a force-job. She asked me if I wanted to out with her, but I didn't really want to in my mind. However, I couldn't hurt anyone's feelings and say no. That would be mean of me. So, I said yes. I had a girlfriend, but not by standard convention. I liked her, and I was happy to have a girlfriend. I even bought her a pair of earrings on her birthday. That being said, nothing changed about me wanting to be with her. I was still in high school. I had more priorities. I was more into getting straight A averages, singing, music, leadershp teams, and academic bowl. I just had more in mind than to be with her. Thus, we broke off our relationship after less than a month together. It was shorter than a Kardashian wedding our relationship!.
It wasn't a slight against her. I just wasn't into having any relationships. I figured maybe later I would change my mind and fall in love with someone.
Who would have known that years later would never come?
That 3 weeks worth of time was the last time I had ever come close to a relationship. That was 14 years ago.
It turned out I was actually okay with never having a relationship. What I was not okay with was society telling me I had to have one.
I remember the day I told my friends at school that I didn't want to have kids. It was around graduation, and everyone was talking about how they wanted to have kids and get married whatnot. People were talking about how they wanted to have a child and everything. I personally was not into that---I'm not about that life. I told my friends and schoolmates what I truly felt inside: I didn't want to have kids, and if I were to have sex, I'd get a vasectomy. My friends all looked at me and stated "What is wrong with you?" Everyone was basically stating the same thing. "How could I not want kids?" My friends all thought I was weird.
My family thought I was weirder. When I told my parents I wasn't going to prom, my family thought something was up. My parents originally thought I might have been gay, because I had never truly gone out with anyone, including the girl that asked me out. I, however, told them I wasn't. I was more into gaining a career, a life, and I liked being single. That is more important for me.
Truth be told, I thought they were weird. Why do you guys want to have kids over going to college or pursuing a dream job? I don't get that, really. I still don't, to be technically honest. To each their own, I guess.
Anyway, I thought most other people were off, and that I was in the right. I thought the world has gone mad, only to find out that I was the one who wasn't the majority. So, I guess I am the one who's the weird one. Well, okay. I still think the world's a little crazy, if you ask me.
I am so glad that years of high school and college are over. I'm glad I don't have to deal with all that constant pressure at a volume. My mind was a Boyle's Law, ready to crack from the pressure people were putting on me about getting sex. So, I am happy I don't have to endeavor those days anymore. Things do get better after high school. I do have to say that.
Now, if people would stop asking me if I am going to get married or have any kids, I would appreciate it.
It's never going to happen, busybodies!
Stay tuned for #2!
submitted by southpawFA to Asexual [link] [comments]
There were quite a bit of new people who asked me some questions pertaining to asexuality, and there quite a bit who were truly interested in knowing. The AMA was all the way a positive thing; there were many positive, affirming people on the AMA. It was amazing.
That being said, there was one common question that I consistently ran into.
"How do you know if you are asexual?"
That question came up at least four times during the AMA. There seemed to be a bunch of people who were out wondering about what the signs of asexuality are. The fact is there isn't really a clear cut answer for that. However, that did leave me to start thinking about my own life, and what I saw were my personal signs of asexuality. Off of that, I started to make my own works. So, I am going to come up with my own Top 10 Asexual Signs list, detailing the signs that told me that I might be asexual.
I am going to make posts going from 1-10. One post each, explaining how I came to know for myself I was asexual. I
Now, you might identify with all of my top ten list. You might not resonate with any of my top 10 list. Asexuas is so varied in our experiences that it's s that's going to have a universally agreed-upon top 10. This is mine, however. You might find a cordiality with my reasons. That being said, without further ado, these are my Asexuality Top Ten Signs.
I'm going start with #1 today!
Top Ten Signs I knew I was Asexual
1) You have never felt as interested in sex as others seem to be. You don't typically fit in with society.
Does anybody remember the string of cases involving teachers having sex with their students? There was a huge string of them that became sensationalized headlines in the 2000s. It involved teachers getting caught with students in what should have been called out as rape being normalized as cool by the mainstream culture as "every male's fantasy". I remember three cases involving three different teachers that became headline stories when I was growing up: Debra Lafave, Mary Kay Latourneau, and Sara Jones. While the boy was being raped by his teacher, everyone seemed to play it off as the boy involved in each case "was not really a victim" since "this is what every boy & man wants to happen".
Comedian Bill Maher stated this in relation to the Debra Lafave case in full quote:
"I think it’s a little offbeat, but you know, I believe in the double standard," Maher told Playboy. "If a 28-year-old male teacher is screwing a 13-year-old girl, that’s a crime. But with Debra Lafave [another teacher who had sex with a student] screwing her 14-year-old boy student, the crime is that we didn’t get it on videotape. Was he being taken advantage of? I wish I had been taken advantage of like that. What a memory she gave him! I would think he’s a champion among his friends. (HollywoodReporter.com)
There have been many cases involving a teacher having sex with her student, particularly a female teacher with a male student, and the main outcry from many people (particularly men) is that it didn't happen to them.
"I wish she would have abused me! I would have loved for her to rape me!"
"How come I couldn't have had sex with my teachers? Lucky!"
"Come on, how could a woman rape a man? Men can't be raped! No real man would turn down free sex! He's no victim! He's lucky, that's what he is! He's a player!"
Ok, that last part was a bit over the top. I did that for emphasis, really.
That being said, it is technically not counted as rape if a woman has sex with a woman in the majority of the U.S. I can't speak for other nations, but it is technically not a crime of rape if a male is forced to have sex by a woman. It can be a crime in other areas, such as lewd and lascivious behavior, which could technically be counted as a misdemeanor (such as in the case of Debra Lafave). It can be counted as endangering the welfare of a minor if it's a boy. However, the crime of rape technically not on the books for female forcible rape. Convictions will still land you on the registry, but there isn't a guarantee one will serve time in prison for such an act. There is activism for laws to get changed by statutes. However, I know that in many states in the U.S., it is still permissible to technically rape a man without facing charges of rape.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11572-018-9485-6
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/international-journal-of-law-in-context/article/oh-youre-a-guy-how-could-you-be-raped-by-a-woman-that-makes-no-sense-towards-a-case-for-legally-recognising-and-labelling-forcedtopenetrate-cases-as-rape/8166CABA33BBE64EBBAD384E1FE13551/core-reader
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predato503492/
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/these-men-say-women-raped-them-but-the-law-doesnt-agree_uk_5d396ed7e4b0419fd338515d
Double standards still exist, everyone.
Besides the fact it's a power imbalance between student and teacher that's being levied in this case, the boy was underage or maybe close to of age. The fact of the matter is it's still rape.
Yet, for many, it didn't seem to be that way.
Porn often likes the common trope of a teacher having sex with student, playing it off as forbidden fruit that's sweet from the vine. The teacher-student stereotype caters to the palate of common male fantasies, just like naughty librarians and sultry cheerleaders do. It's all for the male fantasy, because it's what all males love. Commericals do this quite often as well.
A commercial for tag body spray was done off the premise from the male fantasy.
The premise was to buy this tag body spray, and a horny mom will start hitting on you irresistibly. I think that's the point. Although I can't help but ask the question when I watch the commercial:
How do buttons just fly off of a shirt like boomerangs?!
Commercial logic right there.
You put me in that situation, and I would have been completely terrified, running for the door. I'm going to talk about that in a later post.
However, that is the complete point of it all. You're not supposed to think of that kind of stuff. You're only interested in the steamy stuff and like it.
That was never me. I always seemed to not understand how people could love that stuff. I always found things like that leery and creepy.
I can't really speak for girls, honestly, as I am not one. However, as a guy, the whole culture around men is fixated and geared towards sex. If you were a guy like me, you had a hard time fitting in.
That's an understatement on my end.
I remember growing up around people, and everyone would talk about who was hot or not, who they wanted to have sex with, and how much they wanted to have sex. I recalled having one conversation where people were stating they "loved steak". It was a conversation talking about steak, I thought. Turned out the conversation wasn't about cuts of a cow. They were talking about "the deed", in reality. It was something so foreign from me. I remember all I did during that conversation was nod my head and just say nothing.
That was me in high school trying to get pass social interactions. There was a reason I loved the library and computer labs more than lunch. It wasn't just the food!
There were many a times where I felt I had to force myself to try to be sexual, so that I could fit in with the rest of the crowd. Back in my high school days (Gosh, I feel so old!), there weren't any asexual people out. There wasn't an asexual community. There wasn't really even a gay community in my area! The world basically existed that to be straight was the only way, and other ways were a perversion of that. So, I tried to force myself into sexuality. I couldn't ever do it, though, even though I tried.
I tried manufacturing crushes on people, I tried faking relationships so I wouldn't be seen as weird for not being in a relationship. Truth be told, the first almost relationship I had was a force-job. She asked me if I wanted to out with her, but I didn't really want to in my mind. However, I couldn't hurt anyone's feelings and say no. That would be mean of me. So, I said yes. I had a girlfriend, but not by standard convention. I liked her, and I was happy to have a girlfriend. I even bought her a pair of earrings on her birthday. That being said, nothing changed about me wanting to be with her. I was still in high school. I had more priorities. I was more into getting straight A averages, singing, music, leadershp teams, and academic bowl. I just had more in mind than to be with her. Thus, we broke off our relationship after less than a month together. It was shorter than a Kardashian wedding our relationship!
It wasn't a slight against her. I just wasn't into having any relationships. I figured maybe later I would change my mind and fall in love with someone.
Who would have known that years later would never come?
That 3 weeks worth of time was the last time I had ever come close to a relationship. That was 14 years ago.
It turned out I was actually okay with never having a relationship. What I was not okay with was society telling me I had to have one.
I remember the day I told my friends at school that I didn't want to have kids. It was around graduation, and everyone was talking about how they wanted to have kids and get married whatnot. People were talking about how they wanted to have a child and everything. I personally was not into that---I'm not about that life. I told my friends and schoolmates what I truly felt inside: I didn't want to have kids, and if I were to have sex, I'd get a vasectomy. My friends all looked at me and stated "What is wrong with you?" Everyone was basically stating the same thing. "How could I not want kids?" My friends all thought I was weird.
My family thought I was weirder. When I told my parents I wasn't going to prom, my family thought something was up. My parents originally thought I might have been gay, because I had never truly gone out with anyone, including the girl that asked me out. I, however, told them I wasn't. I was more into gaining a career, a life, and I liked being single. That is more important for me.
Truth be told, I thought they were weird. Why do you guys want to have kids over going to college or pursuing a dream job? I don't get that, really. I still don't, to be technically honest. To each their own, I guess.
Anyway, I thought most other people were off, and that I was in the right. I thought the world has gone mad, only to find out that I was the one who wasn't the majority. So, I guess I am the one who's the weird one. Well, okay. I still think the world's a little crazy, if you ask me.
I am so glad that years of high school and college are over. I'm glad I don't have to deal with all that constant pressure at a volume. My mind was a Boyle's Law, ready to crack from the pressure people were putting on me about getting sex. So, I am happy I don't have to endeavor those days anymore. Things do get better after high school. I do have to say that.
Now, if people would stop asking me if I am going to get married or have any kids, I would appreciate it.
It's never going to happen, busybodies!
Stay tuned for #2!
2019.11.21 16:56 Shakedaddy4x Did anyone see that extremely well done headphone commercial recently?
On Japanaese TV there's an extremely effective and stylish commerical for some brand of headphones. It shows a Japanese girl climbing up one of those "bouldering mountains" that are popular these days, and there's some surprisingly good mumble rap playing in the background. Really wanna find it on youtube and find out what song they're playing.
Has anyone who's seen it remember the headphone company? Maybe I can find it if I knew that company's name
EDIT: found it! Thank you!! The song is by Travis Scott
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4UnSn0luQV/?igshid=19pge9qg0egye
submitted by Shakedaddy4x to japanlife [link] [comments]
Has anyone who's seen it remember the headphone company? Maybe I can find it if I knew that company's name
EDIT: found it! Thank you!! The song is by Travis Scott
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4UnSn0luQV/?igshid=19pge9qg0egye
2016.10.13 06:15 QuarterLifeCrisis115 Me [21/M], social outcast and failure, quarter life crsis, is there anyone out there's who's managed to take advantage of being terminally alone?
Hey everyone,
I'm in a pretty serious quarter life crsis, and I'd like everyone's advice on the matter.
The first thing I'll admit is that I literally am a social pariah and outcast to the fullest extent of that definition. Pardon me for using an extreme example, but I once read a story about a dude who jumped off a bridge, survivied, ended up in a hospital, and then later on, found out that NOBODY visited him at all. Literally no one cared.
I feel as though I am basically exactly that guy. Take away my parents, and I'm him. I literally have no friends at all, and I consider my chances at a relationships pretty hopeless as well, as I'm this age (21) and have never dated, and I'm pretty sure girls would look at me in a "what the hell is wrong with him" kinda way.
Those facts have caused me depression for quite some time, then later on when it reached a breaking point, I tried to fix that by attempting to "go out there" and meet some people, but to be honest it's not working out, and at this point, I'll rather accept that, in this lifetime, I have totally failed interpersonally.
It took me about I would say 10 months to admit that I don't think I can have friends/realtionships in this life, and that I should just fold. Bitter pill to swallow, but I feel as though I don't have a choice.
After being sad about this for some time, I had an idea on how to deal with my issues, in the only way I really know how.
I thought that at the very least, I suppose I can attempt to live an interesting life. I graudated college (IT) about last year, and then after working at my current FT job for about 9 months (which is a desk job), deicded that this isn't what I really want to do.
I think the problem was that I went to school too early, as well as graduating too early. I'm being hit with revelations that should have hit me in high school. I didn't really spend that time back then thinking about what I really wanted to do, as my parents were pushing me to sign up for a post-secondary program ASAP.
I also harbour a lot of resentment and regret for not going to a university, and having the "university experience", as I feel like the oppurtuinty to do all of that is a ship that's long since sailed far far away. Ended up browsing some pretty depressing material (foreveralone) on the internet for a while before I forced myeslf to stop.
I thought that perhaps I can leverage the fact that I have literally no friends/relationships to somewhat of an advantage, as that means I have nothing holding me down.
I have my heart set on being a commerical diver, and a pilot if I can ever come up with the $50,000 it'll take to become certified, though I would like some more options. Doesn't sound like much of a plan, but it's all I can think of right now. If anyone else is in a somewhat interesting career that they like, please let me know.
Honestly, if I could date or make friends or both, I'll really like that, but at this point, I just can't see it being possible, and I can't see it happening.
Is there anyone out there who's managed to live an interesting life and was able to leverage being terminally single and alone into something good? Any advice for me or anything that I can do?
Lately, my issues have been getting to a head. Spending weekends alone, every weekend, has been really getting to me, and I've started drinking as I'm just getting so upset with myeslf, and where my life is. However, I limit drinking only to weekends when I have nothing going on, which is sadly becoming more and more common.
Really have no idea what to do with my life right now, nor how to deal with my problems. I suppose the silver lining in all of this is that I didn't have these revelations hit me at the age of 40, they've hit me at an age where I have an acutal fighting chance.
For anyone who can leave advice, thanks a ton. As well, I did go to a therapist back in April, but it wasn't really helpful. He told me to come up with thoughts that depress me, and then write down counter thoughts that disprove the depressing thoughts. I did not find that very helpful.
tl:dr - 21y social outcast, literally no friends/relationship and overall intepersonal failure, trying to deal with this bitter pill, is there anyone out there who's managed to take advantage of being terminally alone like myeslf?
submitted by QuarterLifeCrisis115 to relationships [link] [comments]
I'm in a pretty serious quarter life crsis, and I'd like everyone's advice on the matter.
The first thing I'll admit is that I literally am a social pariah and outcast to the fullest extent of that definition. Pardon me for using an extreme example, but I once read a story about a dude who jumped off a bridge, survivied, ended up in a hospital, and then later on, found out that NOBODY visited him at all. Literally no one cared.
I feel as though I am basically exactly that guy. Take away my parents, and I'm him. I literally have no friends at all, and I consider my chances at a relationships pretty hopeless as well, as I'm this age (21) and have never dated, and I'm pretty sure girls would look at me in a "what the hell is wrong with him" kinda way.
Those facts have caused me depression for quite some time, then later on when it reached a breaking point, I tried to fix that by attempting to "go out there" and meet some people, but to be honest it's not working out, and at this point, I'll rather accept that, in this lifetime, I have totally failed interpersonally.
It took me about I would say 10 months to admit that I don't think I can have friends/realtionships in this life, and that I should just fold. Bitter pill to swallow, but I feel as though I don't have a choice.
After being sad about this for some time, I had an idea on how to deal with my issues, in the only way I really know how.
I thought that at the very least, I suppose I can attempt to live an interesting life. I graudated college (IT) about last year, and then after working at my current FT job for about 9 months (which is a desk job), deicded that this isn't what I really want to do.
I think the problem was that I went to school too early, as well as graduating too early. I'm being hit with revelations that should have hit me in high school. I didn't really spend that time back then thinking about what I really wanted to do, as my parents were pushing me to sign up for a post-secondary program ASAP.
I also harbour a lot of resentment and regret for not going to a university, and having the "university experience", as I feel like the oppurtuinty to do all of that is a ship that's long since sailed far far away. Ended up browsing some pretty depressing material (foreveralone) on the internet for a while before I forced myeslf to stop.
I thought that perhaps I can leverage the fact that I have literally no friends/relationships to somewhat of an advantage, as that means I have nothing holding me down.
I have my heart set on being a commerical diver, and a pilot if I can ever come up with the $50,000 it'll take to become certified, though I would like some more options. Doesn't sound like much of a plan, but it's all I can think of right now. If anyone else is in a somewhat interesting career that they like, please let me know.
Honestly, if I could date or make friends or both, I'll really like that, but at this point, I just can't see it being possible, and I can't see it happening.
Is there anyone out there who's managed to live an interesting life and was able to leverage being terminally single and alone into something good? Any advice for me or anything that I can do?
Lately, my issues have been getting to a head. Spending weekends alone, every weekend, has been really getting to me, and I've started drinking as I'm just getting so upset with myeslf, and where my life is. However, I limit drinking only to weekends when I have nothing going on, which is sadly becoming more and more common.
Really have no idea what to do with my life right now, nor how to deal with my problems. I suppose the silver lining in all of this is that I didn't have these revelations hit me at the age of 40, they've hit me at an age where I have an acutal fighting chance.
For anyone who can leave advice, thanks a ton. As well, I did go to a therapist back in April, but it wasn't really helpful. He told me to come up with thoughts that depress me, and then write down counter thoughts that disprove the depressing thoughts. I did not find that very helpful.
tl:dr - 21y social outcast, literally no friends/relationship and overall intepersonal failure, trying to deal with this bitter pill, is there anyone out there who's managed to take advantage of being terminally alone like myeslf?
2016.07.26 23:59 PBScene House Party [07/25/16] Part 2/3
Javier: The following match is set for one fall!
Suddenly, the lights simultaneously dim throughout the arena. The only light remaining is on the stage, as strobes flash off and on. The unforgettable sounds of "Future" rush through the building, as Lucian Alexander comes through the curtain. Strobes continue to flash, until every light comes on, and Alexander's name is shown on the screen behind him. Lucian then sprints towards the ring, sliding under the ropes, and jumping onto the turnbuckle. The camera catches him hyping himself up, as he's signalling and posing for fans.
Crowd: LU-CY! LU-CY! LU-CY!
Javier: Introducing first, from Little Rock, Arkansas, weighing in at two hundred pounds, Lucian Alexander!
As Lucian waits in the room, the unforgettable voice of Brand New's Jesse Lacey can be heard over the speakers. From behind the curtain comes Kyle Scott, adorned in his usual casual attire, which consists of a trench coat, crown and staff. He steps down the ramp, refusing to touch any of the peasants in the audience.
Kyle Scott: BOW DOWN MOTHERFUCKERS
Kyle walks up the steps to the ring, takes off his coat, and crown, and drops his staff at ringside. He goes through the second rope, and continues to ignore anyone in the crowd.
Majority of Crowd: FUCK YOU KYLE! clap clap clapclapclap
Minority of Crowd: KYLE ROCKS! clap clap clapclapclap
Javier: And his opponent, from Leeds, England, also weighing in at two hundred pounds, he is the god king of Wrestling is Reddit, Kyle Scott!
DING DING DING
As the matchup starts, Lucian and Kyle engage in a collar and elbow tie up. Alexander manages to get the upper hand, and looks to throw a haymaker at Scott, but Kyle is able to duck under it, and slide out of the ring. Kyle does a lap of the ring, taking a quick break, before sliding back in. Kyle gets back into the ring, but is stopped up when Lucian connects with a running drop kick. Kyle flies on to the mat, but he has the ring awareness to roll to the outside once again.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: The crowd aren't happy here with the cowardly showing of the self proclaimed god king.
Kyle takes another short break from the action, but this time Lucy follows him outside the ring, and hits him with some chops to the back. Kyle hastily turns around, to defend himself, but is caught by a right hang to his ear. Lucian grabs him by the back of the neck, and throws him back into the ring.
Crowd: We love Lucy! clap clap clapclapclap
Alexander takes a moment to speak to the crowd, and thank them for the chant, before jumping into the ring. As Lucy gets inside, Kyle catches him with a roundhouse kick to the abdomen. The kick causes Lucy to fall backwards into the ropes, but he bounces back towards Kyle and goes for a clothesline. Scott ducks underneath the clothesline, and connects with an elbow to the back of Lucian. Kyle throws a second, and third elbow to Alexander, before spinning around and hitting him with a spinning backfist.
Paisner: Big strike combination from Kyle there! Can he continue this offense?
With Lucian groggy, Kyle jumps up and nails him with a step-up enziguri to the side of his head. Lucian Alexander hits the mat, which gives Kyle the space to jump off the second rope, and come down on Lucy with a springboard elbow drop. Kyle hooks the leg of Lucian, and goes for the pin.
1!
2!
Lucy quickly gets his leg up, and breaks the pinfall. Kyle gets up, and the anger can be seen on his face because of Lucy's recent kickout. Furious, Kyle Scott stomps on Lucian's limbs. Kyle continues the assault, and keeps stomping the arms and legs of Alexander. Scott steps back, and takes a long breath, before resting for a moment.
Kyle Scott: GET UP! GET UP, YOU FUCK!
Lucian stumbles to his feet surprisingly quickly, but is instantly caught in a full nelson by Kyle. Scott attempts to lift Lucy up for the Bridging Dragon Suplex, but Lucian is able to get out of his grasp, and spin around to deliver a short arm lariat to Kyle. Kyle gets back up to his feet quickly, but is caught in the chin by a heel kick from Alexander. Kyle looks to respond with a punch to Lucy, but he blocks it, and returns with a punch of his own to the head of Scott. Lucian then manages to get a quick kick combination off, hitting Kyle in the thigh, abdomen, and neck.
Woodbridge: Lucian just nailed some devastating kicks all over Kyle! That's gotta feel like getting hit by a truck.
Kyle is off balance now, which gives Lucian the opportunity to run the ropes, and hit a sunset flip on Scott. Kyle's shoulders are down and the ref starts the count.
1!
2!
Kyle kicks out, and tries to scurry away from Lucian as quick as possible. Kyle gets up to his feet, and immediately has to dodge a heel kick from Lucian. Scott manages to duck fast enough, and catches Lucy's foot on top of his right shoulder. Kyle transitions Lucy's foot over his head onto his left shoulder, before cranking his ankle and sending him spinning into the mat. Alexander is down, which gives Kyle the opportunity to jump up, and drop both his knees directly onto the diaphragm of Lucian. Kyle looks to climb the turnbuckle for a diving attack, but as he starts, Lucy gets to his feet, so Scott confronts him head on instead. Kyle picks up Alexander by the hips, and slams him down with a northern lights suplex.
Paisner: A huge suplex from Kyle, just continuing his attack that's been working so far tonight!
With more space open now, Kyle returns to the top rope, and he comes crashing down on top of Lucian with a diving senton. Kyle hesitates slightly, as if deciding what to do next, before stomping on the shins of Alexander repeatedly. Kyle Scott is being absolutely vicious, demolishing the tibia of Lucian.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
The pain can be seen in Alexander's face, as his leg is crushed beneath the foot of Kyle. Finally, Scott backs off slightly, to take a breath, as Lucian attempts to get to his feet. With great struggling, Alexander manages to get up to a vertical position. Kyle capitalizes quickly though, with quick kicks to the knee of Lucy.
Paisner: Kyle Scott has been absolutely barbaric with his precise attacks to Lucian so far tonight.
Lucian has no choice but to drop down to a kneeling position, which sets up Kyle perfectly for the Tour De Pied bicycle kick. Kyle runs at Lucian, and his boot grazes the top of his head, but he's able to duck underneath the weight of the kick. Lucian is in pain, but once again he makes it to his feet. Kyle turns to meet Lucy, who's now standing, but Lucian manages to quickly get him in a face lock to set up the Falcon Arrow. Lucian lifts up Kyle into a suplex, but drops him on his back with power right between his legs. Lucian lifts one of Kyle's legs and goes for the cover.
1!
2!
A two and a half count, but Kyle Scott manages to kick out. Alexander is shocked at Scott's kickout, but doesn't waste time arguing with the official. Instead, Lucian goes right back on the attack, dragging Kyle back to his feet by the back of his neck. This time, Lucian hooks a leg of Kyle, and tosses him over his head with an exploder suplex. Alexander picks Scott up once again, the time from behind, so he can deliver a German suplex that sends Kyle flying across the ring.
Paisner: These are some impressive suplexes from Alexander here, don't you agree?
Woodbridge: Yeah these are certainly brutal, but he's delivering them at what cost? His leg must be buckling underneath the weight of Kyle Scott.
Lucian drops down to one knee in pain. This time though, Kyle isn't in position to capitalize, as he's struggling to stand in the opposite corner. With a wince on his face, Lucian runs at a standing Kyle across the ring. Lucy leaps up, looking for a patented Fishhook knee. Kyle jumps too however, and catches Lucian's leg right out of the air. The both go crashing to the mat, but Kyle is in position to lock in a legbar on Lucian. Kyle grapevines the damaged leg of Lucian and hooks the ankle under his armpit, causing as much pain as possible. Lucian Alexander is in an insane amount of pain, and is seemingly debating tapping out. But from the crowd comes Dalidus Nova, and no one inside the ring has noticed.
Paisner: Holy shit! Ref! Look! Get this kid out of here!
The referee is distracted by the submission, and Kyle's head is dangerously close to the apron of the ring. This is the perfect opportunity for Nova to strike Kyle in the back of the head with a pair of brass knuckles, before quickly hiding out underneath the ring.
Woodbridge: Holy fuck Nova! What a goddamn shot to Kyle!
The referee and Lucian haven't noticed what's just occurred, but Kyle has relieved all the pressure of the submission hold and let Lucy go. Kyle is down and out, which gives Lucian a chance to roll him over and go for the guillotine choke. The referee now sees just how out of it Kyle Scott is, and calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Lucian releases the unconscious body of Kyle Scott, and stands so the referee can raise his hand.
Javier: As a result of a referee stoppage, your winner, at a time of 8:46, Lucian Alexander!
Woodbridge: Well, that was a nice win for Lucian, but it wasn't without help.
Paisner: Yeah, I mean, Lucian had no idea what had happened on the outside of the ring, but that doesn't mean it didn't influence the outcome of the match.
Lucian slides out from the ring, and high fives some fans at ringside, before slowly making the walk to the backstage area. As this is happening, Kyle Scott is regaining consciousness, and beginning to get to his feet. Once Scott is standing, and Lucian has left, Nova comes out from under the ring, to once again attack Scott with his brass knuckles.
Paisner: Oh no! Dear god! Nova get the fuck out of here! Not again!
He strikes Kyle across the face with the brass knucks twice before he goes down again. Nova continues the onslaught, and keeps on punching the downed Kyle with his weapon until he's fully unconscious once again. Only then does Dalidus Nova exit the ring, and head back through the crowd.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: That is just a vile attack from Dalidus Nova, that's the only way to look at it.
Woodbridge: It certainly was a vicious attack, but this is Kyle Scott we're talking about. He'll find a way to retaliate, I'm sure.
A doctor from backstage comes to help Kyle up, and aids him in walking to the back. Once he's behind the curtain, the screen goes black and a commercial is shown.
COMMERCIAL
Commercial Spokesperson: Hey there, my name is Charles Flanick, and I'm here to tell you about the freshest new product: The Uniboard! It's like an Electric Hoverboard, but with one wheel in the middle! Ain't that neat!
Commerical Spokesperson: Order now, for only $339.99! Or, better yet, order in three small orders of $120.99 a piece! Now, back to your show!
WiR returns after commercial break, with the camera on Paisner and Woodbridge.
Paisner: Well, it's time for some more tournament action! In this bout, we'll see Eric Appelbaum face off against Tyler Dylan, in a match that we never even thought would happen!
Javier: This following match is scheduled for one fall! The winner of this match will go on to the Mecha Division's Semi-Final round, at the "Kyūkyoku no unmei no kyūkyoku no taiketsu" iPPV!
Heart Shaped Box starts to play, as Tyler Dylan comes out from behind the curtain. He raises his fists to the crowd, and starts to run down the ramp.
Javier: Introducing first, standing at 5 feet 10 inches and weighing 190 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan... TYLEEEER DYLAAAAN!
Woodbridge: And Tyler Dylan making it to this round of the tournament was a huge miracle in itself. Tyler was set to face Kaitlyn Casey Jones in the very first round, in a match that everyone thought would be heavily one sided in KCJ's favor. However, Tyler was able to get the pin over Kaitlyn, and advance, in quite possibly WiR's biggest upset.
Neon Rebels booms over the speakers, and Eric Appelbaum starts to slowly walk to the ring, with a large black Garbage Bag slung over his right shoulder. Halfway down the ramp, he sets it down.
Javier: And now approaching the ring, standing at 5 feet 11 inches and weighing 220 pounds... ERIIIC APPELBAAUUUUM!
Paisner: Eric has also seen quite some success in this tournament so far. He defeated Bruce Rodgers, one of the current Tag-Team Champions, to make it to this stage. A win here tonight will get him onto the iPPV, which could be exactly what he needs to get back to his former stardom.
Paisner: Eric finally starting this match off, hoping for a good start in this fight!
Woodbridge: Both of these men have similar battle plans: Hit first, hit fast, hit strong, and hit last! But it seems like Eric's already got step one on lockdown.
Eric Irish Whips Tyler into the ropes, and hits him with a Knee Strike to the gut when he returns. Dylan is flipped over Eric's knee, and lands hard on the mat. Eric quickly drops a short elbow onto Tyler, stunning him temporarily.
Woodbridge: And this is a very bad situation for Tyler. If there's one thing you can't do when you're in a match with Eric, it's let him get control of you.
Eric paces the ring, waiting for Dylan to make it back up. When he does, he goes for a big kick to Tyler, who manages to leap out of the way, and hit Eric with a Dropkick to the back! Eric whips forwards, and gets caught up in the ropes instead of falling to the mat.
Paisner: Oh man, what's Dylan gonna go for here? He's got Eric in a perfect situation!
Tyler bounces off the far rope, and sprints at Eric, he is about to hit him with a huge clothesline, but Eric is able to free himself from the ropes, and duck under the swing at the very last second. Dylan is running to quickly, and his momentum sends him straight over the top rope, and crashing down at ringside.
Crowd: ooooooooh!
Woodbridge: Jeez, we have a REALLY small crowd tonight, don't we?
Eric rolls under the ring to chase down Tyler, who is now up to a knee. Eric pulls him up to his feet, and throws him into the metal guard rail! Tyler winces in pain, but is able to quickly kick out Eric's knee from under him to stall for recovery time.
Paisner: What a smart play coming out from Tyler Dylan! He knows that he will need to get some energy back, so he very swiftly takes out Eric's mobility for a few seconds!
Eric gets back up, and Tyler rushes him, shoving his back into the Ring Apron! Tyler then slides back into the ring, while Eric drops to his hands and knees. Tyler runs at the far rope, bouncing off and is sent rushing towards the other side of the ring. On the outside, Eric finally gets back up, as Tyler Dylan leaps inbetween the second and third rope, and connects with a Suicide Dive!
Crowd: Oooooooh!
Woodbridge: And a big move by Tyler Dylan! He's gotta keep this offense up if he wants to work his way back into this match.
Tyler and Eric both make it to a stand, and they lock up, forcing against eachother. Eric weighs much more than Dylan, and thus gets the upper hand. Eric gets Dylan in a wristlock, before shooting a kick into his Abdomen, and twisting his wrist further.
Paisner: These types of holds may seem ineffective, but when you've got a burning pain in your wrist throughout the rest of the match, it becomes significantly harder to hit so many maneuvers!
Eric throws Tyler towards the ring apron, but Tyler is able to slide into the ring to avoid impact. Eric is angered by Tyler's reversal, and angrily follows him into the ring. When he gets back to his feet, Tyler greets him with a thunderous Roundhouse Kick!
Crowd: Ooooooh!
Woodbridge: And it's moves like those that can change the tide of a match on a dime! Stunning offense coming out from Tyler Dylan!
Eric goes down hard from the kick, And Tyler Dylan quickly covers Eric, hooking one leg. Tai Ni Wong drops down to the mat to start the count.
1...!
2...!
NO! Eric Appelbaum kicks out just after two. Tyler rolls away, and gets back up to his feet. Eric gets up to a knee, and Tyler Dylan pulls him up to his feet from behind, spinning him in the process. With his back to Eric's front, Tyler hooks Eric's head, and drops him face-first to the mat with a Cutter!
Paisner: A HUGE Cutter from Tyler Dylan! He may seal his spot at the iPPV right now!
Tyler goes for another pin attempt on Eric Appelbaum, who is visibily dazed and stunned from the Cutter.
1...!
2...!
3.. - NO!
Woodbridge: This match has been quite back and forth so far. Currently, Dylan seems to have the upper hand, but that can change so damn quickly in matches like this one.
Paisner: And we should mention just how important this match is to both of these men. The winner will get a spot on our upcoming iPPV on the 31st of July. The loser most likely will not be on the show at all!
Tyler pries Eric off the mat, and hooks his head. He throws Eric's arm over his neck, and attempts to pick him up for a Suplex. However, Eric manages to hold off the throw, and wraps his arm around Tylers neck, before pulling him downwards and rolling him up in a cradle!
1...!
2...!
NO! Tyler Dylan pushes against Eric's weight, and barely escapes from the roll-up. Tyler quickly pops up to his feet, But Eric was slightly faster, and is able to get the upper hand with a Spinning Backfist to the face of Dylan! He is dropped down to the mat, but is able to get up to a knee fairly quickly.
Paisner: Now it looks like Eric's turn to get control again. Both of these guys have busted their asses in this match, but we all know that there can only be one winner in the end.
Tyler gets back up, and Eric quickly sprints at him. He attempts a running lariat, but Tyler rolls underneath it. He springs off the rope, now rushing at Eric. Suddenly, Tyler leaps forwards, and attempts a spear on Eric! However, Eric dodges to the right at the last second, and Tyler spears Tai Ni Wong, who was standing behind Eric, unbeknownst to Dylan!
Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy shit!
Woodbridge: Oh shit! Tyler Dylan has taken down the referee! And Eric is already looking to take advantage!
From behind Eric reaches over Tyler Dylans face, and starts madly clawing at his eyes, nose, and mouth. Dylan screams in pain, before Eric slams him in the back of the head with an Elbow! With Tyler Dylan down on the mat, Eric Appelbaum rolls out of the ring, and walks up the makeshift ramp. He approaches his black bag, and reaches inside, to grab two cheap looking Laptops.
Eric Appelbaum: Black Hat time, motherfuckers!
Eric puts both laptops under his left arm, and walks back into the ring. Tyler Dylan is on his hands and knees, and Eric stomps on his back and head a few times, to get him laying back down on the mat.
Paisner: Eric man, please don't do this to the kid...
Eric places one of the two laptops down on the mat, and drags Tyler Dylans head ontop of it.
Woodbridge: Jesus, are we really gonna see Appelbaum give a Black Hat to Tyler Dylan? Well, if there's one way to win a match, this is definitely it.
With Tyler still down, Eric Appelbaum holds the other laptop in both hands, and lifts it high above his head. He has a fury in his eyes, and he forcefully slams the Laptop down, trying to connect with Dylan's skull! But, Dylan quickly snaps his body backwards, pulling his head out of the way. Eric slams the first laptop down onto the second, and the vibrations of the impact causes him to drop the first laptop.
Paisner: Tyler Dylan just saved his own ass! Barely, JUST BARELY, he avoids one of Eric's strongest moves!
Tyler snatches one of the Laptops off the mat, leaps up to his feet, and quickly slams it into the Abdomen of Eric! He bends over from the strike, and Tyler grabs at the other Laptop. He picks it up, and breaks the laptop over the back of Eric!
Tyler Dylan looks around the ring, bewildered, until he notices that Tai Ni Wong had came back to, right before Tyler smashed the Laptop over Eric. He suddenly realizes what this means for him.
Tyler Dylan: No! No! Ref, you didn't see everything!
Tai Ni Wong: I see! I see you! You hit him with computer! You Disqualified!
Tyler tries to plead with the referee, and explain his case. Behind him, Eric Appelbaum sits in the corner, gleefully laughing as he too realizes that he won the match.
Javier: Your winner via disqualification, at a time of 12:45... ERIC APPLELBAUUUUUUUM!
Eric rolls out of the ring, and raises his arms to celebrate, all while yelling insults towards Tyler. Tyler is furious in the ring, and he angrily snaps one of the Laptops in half over his knee, before throwing the broken electronic towards Eric.
Paisner: Honestly, I can't help but feel bad for Tyler. Eric introduced those Laptops into the match in the first place, but Tai Ni only saw Tyler using them. However, this does mean that it will be Eric Appelbaum advancing to the next round of this tournament, which will be at the iPPV on Sunday!
Woodbridge: This only leads to the question: Whats next for Tyler Dylan now? He's certainly made an impression on everyone tonight, and with his win over KCJ, big things could be in his future. For now, we must wait and see. Speaking of waiting, we'll be right back with more action after this break!
COMMERCIAL
We cut to the ring where Javier is in the middle of the ring, alongside a man who appears to wear swimming shorts and wrestling boots. His eyes not seen through his thick aviator glasses.
Javier: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee at this time is Harry Undersach. First, at this time in the ring, from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 210lbs.. Blake Arroth!
Arroth takes the microphone from Javier and looks into the camera, smiling as he uses one hand to point at his abs.
Arroth: I want each and every single one of you to look at this body. It is the body of a warrior, the body of a man of excellence, the body.. of me.
Crowd: BOOOOO!!!
Paisner: This guy is not making any friends here tonight.
Woodbridge: He seems like he would drink Budlight Lime.
Blake grins across the crowd who curse profanities at the man, but he does not care.
Arroth: Do you guys really think I care? I’m the baddest man on the planet. I’m the human incarnation of sex on the beach and the guy sticks his dick in the sand before getting into that sweet puss once more.
Woodbridge: Classic Screaming Seagull.
Arroth takes off his glasses and wants to speak again, but This Life by Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers begins to play, as Dutch appears from the crowd.
Javier: And his opponent, representing The Kingdom of The Netherlands, weighing in at 237lbs, “The Mass Eliminator”, “The Hardcore Specialist”, “The Most Controversial Man in WiR History”, “Mr. AMUDOV”, “The Man Of A 1001 Nicknames” but most importantly.. “The Incarnation of Insanity” Mark Dutch!
As Dutch his name is called by Javier, he turns around, both hands above his head before pointing down with his thumbs at the back of his leather cut before walking along the fans to the ring, Blake meanwhile putting his glasses back on.
Paisner: Now this is a true incarnation of something crazy!
Woodbridge: Since his return, he had a strong showing against Andrew Garcia in the first round, even eliminating him before being eliminated by Jack Anchor last week! Let’s see what he’s got in store for tonight!
Dutch climbs up to the apron before climbing up to the turnbuckle, spreading his arms out while one half of the crowd cheers him on.
Crowd: BIG FUCKING DUTCHMAN! clap clap clapclapclap BIG FUCKING DUTCHMAN! clap clap clapclapclap
Meanwhile, the other half of the crowd try to send across a good message.
Crowd: Sorry ‘boot that! clap clap clapclapclap Sorry ‘boot that!
Dutch smirks before climbing down and taking off his cut and laying it down by the turnbuckle before Blake runs at Dutch and hits him with a knee to the kidneys.
DING DING DING
Blake beats down on Dutch with strong fists while Dutch holds his hands on his head, trying to prevent any hits on the head.
Paisner: Dutch playing it safe. That’s something you don’t see often.
Dutch is able to turn around and pushes Blake away, Blake making a roll back before getting to his feet and going for Dutch again, but Dutch quickly sends Blake down with a diving clothesline. Both men get up immediately and Dutch goes for another. Blake gets up and tries to hit Dutch over the head, but Dutch ducks under and slaps Blake in the face so hard in the face, his sunglasses fall off.
Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!!
Blake puts his hand on his face and looks at Dutch before expressing an angered look. When Blake tries to grab his glasses, Dutch kicks him in the face with a soccer kick, moving him back and standing straight up, the kick hard enough to have him stagger back, almost falling before Dutch goes for a quick dropkick, taking Blake off his feet.
Paisner: Dutch is making use of Blake’s desire to get his glasses!
Woodbridge: The only glasses I care about are pints of beer!
As Dutch walks over to Blake, he steps right onto Blake’s glasses, crushing them. Blake looks up in shock as he hears them break and he performs a kip up to get in Dutch his face.
Arroth: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BREAK MY GLASSES?!? YOU’RE SO FUCKING DEAD, MAN!
Dutch, like the man he is, screams back.
Dutch: WELL GO AHEAD AND FUCKING KILL ME! DO IT, YOU CUCK!
Arroth: I FUCKING WILL!
Arroth immediately headbutts Dutch, but Dutch doesn’t even look staggered by it, meanwhile Blake grabs his head.
Woodbridge: So.. Dutch is samoan?
Paisner: Apparently. That or we found a new group who you can’t headbutt.
Woodbridge: Nah, Dutch is Samoan.
Dutch grabs Arroth by the hair and shushes the crowd, who comply. Dutch takes a step back before he hits Blake with the Sick Headbutt, the crowd cringing by the sound of the skulls colliding. Blake turns his head away and grabs ahold of it while the camera stays focused on Dutch, drips of blood now coming out of his hair and slowly rolling down his forehead.
Paisner: That has to be the hardest headbutt Dutch has ever given! He’s busted open!
Woodbridge: Not only Dutch.
Blake now looks up, blood pouring faster than when a girl has her first period. Dutch uses his hand to grab Blake by his chin and brings him to his feet, standing wobbly on them, but having some energy in him to kick Dutch as hard as he can into his left knee, Dutch immediately going down and clutching it. Blake barely, stands over Dutch now and he laughs as he is in control now.
Paisner: Now that’s a cunt move.
Woodbridge: Hence why he is “The Screaming Seagull” and his first name is Blake. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, PAIS?!?
Blake gives Dutch a kick to his side and Dutch rolls over, kneeling with his hands on the ground while Blake takes a step back to get ready to give a soccer kick to Dutch his side. Dutch clutches his side and Blake runs at Dutch, but Dutch quickly rolls out of the way. Blake turns to Dutch, who quickly gets to his feet and Blake tries to attack Dutch. Dutch dodges the punch heading for his face and delivers an uppercut.. AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! A RAIN OF UPPERCUTS FALL UPON BLAKE ARROTH!.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHH!!
Dutch then immediately lifts Blake up in the air and goes for a very european Uppercut, but Blake somehow gets his feet on Dutch his shoulders, trying to go for a hurricanrana but Dutch keeps himself on his feet.
Paisner: Never have I ever seen Dutch show such power!
Woodbridge: He has more power in his body than Blake has to slam his sand covered cock in a sweet puss!
Dutch, using his strength, lifts up Blake and throws him in the air before hitting the Very European Uppercut, Blake his head snapping back as he lands on the mat.
Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!
Dutch looks down at Blake and thinks about going for the pin, but he refuses. His eyes are large, staring down at Blake Arroth while the crowd see his attitude change. From the man people loved when he walked down the ring, now back to his meaner misdemeanor self. His body tenses up and the insane look the crowd feared back then is now on his face. Dutch walks to one of the turnbuckle and places his arms on the ropes, holding himself back. Blake is starting to get up but gets no further than kneeling on the ground. Dutch tries to hold himself back but can’t and he sprints as fast as he can at Blake before hitting him with a knee in the back of his head
Woodbridge: KINZOKU-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Immediately after, Dutch lunges at the head and his arm and locks Blake into the Crippler Crossface and pulls his body back, bending Blake so far, he’s close to breaking his spine. Blake, barely conscious, wastes no time and taps out.
DING DING DING
Dutch keeps cranking back the neck of Blake as he continues to tap out, slowly fading away as Dutch screams in anger and terror before Harry tries to get sense back in Dutch. Dutch keeps cranking and cranking before he lets go of Blake and he goes down face first on the mat.
Javier: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner at this time, at a time of 4:53, MAAAAAAAAAARK DUUUUUUTCH
The crowd cheers for Dutch as he almost wrecked the Screaming Seagull, tho they are still fearful for Dutch as he is still tensed up.
Paisner: I think we just saw old times of Dutch.
Dutch closes his eyes and looks down at the mat, slowly getting himself calm again. When calm, he looks at Blake who is being treated by the medical staff now before swiping his arm over his forehead, smearing blood over his arm and Dutch looks in shock.
Woodbridge: Dutch got dark, he lost control of himself and he barely remembers.. Shit..
Dutch looks at Blake once again, shocked and disgusted of himself before he gets out of the ring. He looks on while Dutch looks around, unsure what to think, hoping the crowd doesn’t hate him for what he did.
Dutch: I couldn’t control myself. I really couldn’t. I’m sorry I went this far.. I need to leave..
Dutch quickly turns around and heads to the back, leaving Blake for dead basically still while Dutch fears the opinions of others. Just as he is about to head to the back, he turns around again and stares around. He almost looks scared.. but somehow feels satisfied, probably because the crowd cheers him on because he beat Douchy McDoucheface. He goes to the back behind the curtains and the camera cuts away.
COMMERCIAL
Woodbridge: Well, it's time for tonight's 6-Man Tag Team match! In just a few short minutes, we will be seeing the pairing of The Warlords and Maverick, working together to take on Buster, Briggs, and Krieger.
Paisner: Recently, Buster and Sierra have befriended Charlie, forming the trios team that they call BBC. But how will they fair against Former Tag-Team Champions in The Warlords, the and former Independent Champion in Maverick?
Javier: The following match is a 6-Man Tag Team Match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 693 pounds, the team of Charlie Krieger, Buster Bravado, and Sierra Briggs... BBC!
Paisner: Sierra and Buster have been longtime friends, and know eachother extremely well. Bringing the dominant Charlie Krieger into this team only serves to make them a powerful force here in WiR.
Black Friday booms over the speakers, filling the warehouse. The few fans in attendance start to boo at the three, who walk their way down to the ring. They roll under the bottom rope, and raise their arms to the camera.
Woodbridge: And speaking of powerful forces, I think it's time to introduce our next team!
Seven Nation Army starts to play, and the fans start to cheer as The Warlords move back the curtain. The two look at eachother, before starting to walk down to the ring.
Javier: And now approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 554 pounds, the team of Robert Warlock and Stephen Romero... THE WARLORDS!
Before entering the ring, Warlock and Romero pause, and lean against the apron, waiting for their partner for the night. Soon enough, Killing In The Name booms, and Maverick pushes back the curtain, greeted by cheers from the crowd.
Javier: And finally, approaching the ring, weighing 225 pounds and standing at 6 feet 1 inch, from Dallas, Texas... MAAAAVERIIIIICK!
Maverick starts to give high-fives to the few fans at ringside. He meets up with Warlock and Romero at ringside, and shakes both of their hands, before all 3 slide into the ring. Warlock and Romero walk into their corner and get onto the apron, while Sierra and Buster let Charlie get into the match first also.
Maverick: Woooooo!
Charlie gets up yet again. Maverick bounces off the far rope, which in turn launches him towards Charlie. Charlie is quick to react, and gives Maverick a HUGE clothesline, which sends him flipping before landing.
Charlie: Welcome back, bitch!
Woodbridge: A huge reversal from Charlie! This match is starting very quickly, and I have a feeling it may stay with way all match!
Maverick slowly gets back up, And Charlie bounces off the rope, before running back at Maverick and hitting him with a Crossbody! Both men go down, and Charlie hooks the leg to attempt a cover.
1...!
2.. - No!
Maverick gets the shoulder up fast, and Krieger is starting to get ticked off. Buster sees this, and tells Krieger to tag him into the match, which he does. Buster gets into the ring, and starts to run the ropes, waiting for Maverick to get back up.
Paisner: That was a beautiful Crossbody by Charlie, I'm surprised Maverick was able to kick out so quickly!
Woodbridge: Well now it's time for Buster Bravado to get his turn in this match, let's see what he can do!
Maverick gets standing, and Buster strikes from behind with a quick jab to the back of the head. Buster then spins Maverick around, before giving him a chop to the chest. Maverick ignores the pain, and strikes with a chop of his own! Buster clutches at his chest, gasping for air, when Maverick kicks him in the gut to bend him over, before running the far rope, and hitting Buster with a Swinging Neckbreaker in the middle of the ring!
Paisner: Jesus! Maverick might be able to pick up a quick win on Buster after a Neckbreaker like that!
However, instead of going for a pin, Maverick reaches out to his corner, tagging in Stephen Romero. Romero steps over the tope rope into the ring, and nails Buster with a Superman Punch! Buster is sent flying back down to the mat, but rolls back up to his feet. Romero grabs his wrist and Irish Whips him into the rope, and he is sent bouncing back. Romero goes for a Big Boot, but Buster ducks under it, and pulls the leg Romero is standing on, causing him to topple down to the mat.
Paisner: Innovative offense from Buster Bravado, making Stephen pile on top of himself!
Woodbridge: Yeah, but he's gonna have to do A LOT more than that if he wants to defeat Romero here tonight.
Buster gets up to his feet, as Romero is up to a knee, Buster bounces off the rope facing Romero, before running back towards him, and hitting Romero square in the jaw with an Kneeling Enziguri!
Crowd: Oooooh!
Romero is sent flat on his back, and Buster starts to stomp madly on the arms, fingers, and joints of Romero. He then grabs Romero by the forehead, lifting it up off the mat, before slamming it back down into the mat! Buster then quickly crawls on top of Romero, and the ref starts the count.
1...!
2...!
No! Romero kicks out forcefully, and Buster gets up to his feet while Romero is still down. Buster drags his opponent into his corner, before tagging in Sierra. She slides inbetween the second and third rope, before stomping away at Romero, who is sitting in the corner.
Sierra: THIS IS OUR RING NOW!
Sierra grabs Romero and pulls him up to his feet in the corner. She pulls her hand back, before giving a sickening chop to Romero's chest! He tries to walk out of the corner, gasping for breath, but Sierra slams him back into the turnbuckle, before backing up, and rushing Romero with a knee to the chest!
Paisner: A HUGE corner Knee Strike to the former tag-team champion! Is it enough?
Sierra gives a Snapmare to the 320 pound man, before going for the cover. She hooks the right leg, closest to the ring ropes.
1...!
2...!
No! Again, Romero kicks out at 2. Sierra considers tagging out of the match, but instead decides against it. She begins to circle Romero, as he gets to his feet. When he does, Sierra runs at the rope, and bounces off it. Running towards Romero at full speed, Sierra has no time to dodge when Romero grabs her and almost effortlessly lifts her into the air, before slamming her back down to the mat with a Spinebuster!
Paisner: Holy shit! A HUGE Spinebuster!
Woodbridge: Romero just picked up 250 pounds like it was nothing! I don't think we've ever seen Sierra be completely manhandled like that before!
Stephen Romero starts to slowly crawl towards his own corner, attempting to escape from BBC's side. While this is happening, Sierra Briggs rolls back into her own corner, and Charlie Krieger tags himself into the match. Charlie gets into the ring, While Stephen Romero gives one final lunge to his corner, and is able to tag in Robert Warlock.
Paisner: Charlie and Robert square off in the middle of the ring! This is gonna get real good, real fast!
Woodbrige: But it's important to remember that Robert is fresh into this match, while Charlie has had to go for a bit already.
submitted by PBScene to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]
Suddenly, the lights simultaneously dim throughout the arena. The only light remaining is on the stage, as strobes flash off and on. The unforgettable sounds of "Future" rush through the building, as Lucian Alexander comes through the curtain. Strobes continue to flash, until every light comes on, and Alexander's name is shown on the screen behind him. Lucian then sprints towards the ring, sliding under the ropes, and jumping onto the turnbuckle. The camera catches him hyping himself up, as he's signalling and posing for fans.
Crowd: LU-CY! LU-CY! LU-CY!
Javier: Introducing first, from Little Rock, Arkansas, weighing in at two hundred pounds, Lucian Alexander!
As Lucian waits in the room, the unforgettable voice of Brand New's Jesse Lacey can be heard over the speakers. From behind the curtain comes Kyle Scott, adorned in his usual casual attire, which consists of a trench coat, crown and staff. He steps down the ramp, refusing to touch any of the peasants in the audience.
Kyle Scott: BOW DOWN MOTHERFUCKERS
Kyle walks up the steps to the ring, takes off his coat, and crown, and drops his staff at ringside. He goes through the second rope, and continues to ignore anyone in the crowd.
Majority of Crowd: FUCK YOU KYLE! clap clap clapclapclap
Minority of Crowd: KYLE ROCKS! clap clap clapclapclap
Javier: And his opponent, from Leeds, England, also weighing in at two hundred pounds, he is the god king of Wrestling is Reddit, Kyle Scott!
DING DING DING
As the matchup starts, Lucian and Kyle engage in a collar and elbow tie up. Alexander manages to get the upper hand, and looks to throw a haymaker at Scott, but Kyle is able to duck under it, and slide out of the ring. Kyle does a lap of the ring, taking a quick break, before sliding back in. Kyle gets back into the ring, but is stopped up when Lucian connects with a running drop kick. Kyle flies on to the mat, but he has the ring awareness to roll to the outside once again.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: The crowd aren't happy here with the cowardly showing of the self proclaimed god king.
Kyle takes another short break from the action, but this time Lucy follows him outside the ring, and hits him with some chops to the back. Kyle hastily turns around, to defend himself, but is caught by a right hang to his ear. Lucian grabs him by the back of the neck, and throws him back into the ring.
Crowd: We love Lucy! clap clap clapclapclap
Alexander takes a moment to speak to the crowd, and thank them for the chant, before jumping into the ring. As Lucy gets inside, Kyle catches him with a roundhouse kick to the abdomen. The kick causes Lucy to fall backwards into the ropes, but he bounces back towards Kyle and goes for a clothesline. Scott ducks underneath the clothesline, and connects with an elbow to the back of Lucian. Kyle throws a second, and third elbow to Alexander, before spinning around and hitting him with a spinning backfist.
Paisner: Big strike combination from Kyle there! Can he continue this offense?
With Lucian groggy, Kyle jumps up and nails him with a step-up enziguri to the side of his head. Lucian Alexander hits the mat, which gives Kyle the space to jump off the second rope, and come down on Lucy with a springboard elbow drop. Kyle hooks the leg of Lucian, and goes for the pin.
1!
2!
Lucy quickly gets his leg up, and breaks the pinfall. Kyle gets up, and the anger can be seen on his face because of Lucy's recent kickout. Furious, Kyle Scott stomps on Lucian's limbs. Kyle continues the assault, and keeps stomping the arms and legs of Alexander. Scott steps back, and takes a long breath, before resting for a moment.
Kyle Scott: GET UP! GET UP, YOU FUCK!
Lucian stumbles to his feet surprisingly quickly, but is instantly caught in a full nelson by Kyle. Scott attempts to lift Lucy up for the Bridging Dragon Suplex, but Lucian is able to get out of his grasp, and spin around to deliver a short arm lariat to Kyle. Kyle gets back up to his feet quickly, but is caught in the chin by a heel kick from Alexander. Kyle looks to respond with a punch to Lucy, but he blocks it, and returns with a punch of his own to the head of Scott. Lucian then manages to get a quick kick combination off, hitting Kyle in the thigh, abdomen, and neck.
Woodbridge: Lucian just nailed some devastating kicks all over Kyle! That's gotta feel like getting hit by a truck.
Kyle is off balance now, which gives Lucian the opportunity to run the ropes, and hit a sunset flip on Scott. Kyle's shoulders are down and the ref starts the count.
1!
2!
Kyle kicks out, and tries to scurry away from Lucian as quick as possible. Kyle gets up to his feet, and immediately has to dodge a heel kick from Lucian. Scott manages to duck fast enough, and catches Lucy's foot on top of his right shoulder. Kyle transitions Lucy's foot over his head onto his left shoulder, before cranking his ankle and sending him spinning into the mat. Alexander is down, which gives Kyle the opportunity to jump up, and drop both his knees directly onto the diaphragm of Lucian. Kyle looks to climb the turnbuckle for a diving attack, but as he starts, Lucy gets to his feet, so Scott confronts him head on instead. Kyle picks up Alexander by the hips, and slams him down with a northern lights suplex.
Paisner: A huge suplex from Kyle, just continuing his attack that's been working so far tonight!
With more space open now, Kyle returns to the top rope, and he comes crashing down on top of Lucian with a diving senton. Kyle hesitates slightly, as if deciding what to do next, before stomping on the shins of Alexander repeatedly. Kyle Scott is being absolutely vicious, demolishing the tibia of Lucian.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
The pain can be seen in Alexander's face, as his leg is crushed beneath the foot of Kyle. Finally, Scott backs off slightly, to take a breath, as Lucian attempts to get to his feet. With great struggling, Alexander manages to get up to a vertical position. Kyle capitalizes quickly though, with quick kicks to the knee of Lucy.
Paisner: Kyle Scott has been absolutely barbaric with his precise attacks to Lucian so far tonight.
Lucian has no choice but to drop down to a kneeling position, which sets up Kyle perfectly for the Tour De Pied bicycle kick. Kyle runs at Lucian, and his boot grazes the top of his head, but he's able to duck underneath the weight of the kick. Lucian is in pain, but once again he makes it to his feet. Kyle turns to meet Lucy, who's now standing, but Lucian manages to quickly get him in a face lock to set up the Falcon Arrow. Lucian lifts up Kyle into a suplex, but drops him on his back with power right between his legs. Lucian lifts one of Kyle's legs and goes for the cover.
1!
2!
A two and a half count, but Kyle Scott manages to kick out. Alexander is shocked at Scott's kickout, but doesn't waste time arguing with the official. Instead, Lucian goes right back on the attack, dragging Kyle back to his feet by the back of his neck. This time, Lucian hooks a leg of Kyle, and tosses him over his head with an exploder suplex. Alexander picks Scott up once again, the time from behind, so he can deliver a German suplex that sends Kyle flying across the ring.
Paisner: These are some impressive suplexes from Alexander here, don't you agree?
Woodbridge: Yeah these are certainly brutal, but he's delivering them at what cost? His leg must be buckling underneath the weight of Kyle Scott.
Lucian drops down to one knee in pain. This time though, Kyle isn't in position to capitalize, as he's struggling to stand in the opposite corner. With a wince on his face, Lucian runs at a standing Kyle across the ring. Lucy leaps up, looking for a patented Fishhook knee. Kyle jumps too however, and catches Lucian's leg right out of the air. The both go crashing to the mat, but Kyle is in position to lock in a legbar on Lucian. Kyle grapevines the damaged leg of Lucian and hooks the ankle under his armpit, causing as much pain as possible. Lucian Alexander is in an insane amount of pain, and is seemingly debating tapping out. But from the crowd comes Dalidus Nova, and no one inside the ring has noticed.
Paisner: Holy shit! Ref! Look! Get this kid out of here!
The referee is distracted by the submission, and Kyle's head is dangerously close to the apron of the ring. This is the perfect opportunity for Nova to strike Kyle in the back of the head with a pair of brass knuckles, before quickly hiding out underneath the ring.
Woodbridge: Holy fuck Nova! What a goddamn shot to Kyle!
The referee and Lucian haven't noticed what's just occurred, but Kyle has relieved all the pressure of the submission hold and let Lucy go. Kyle is down and out, which gives Lucian a chance to roll him over and go for the guillotine choke. The referee now sees just how out of it Kyle Scott is, and calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Lucian releases the unconscious body of Kyle Scott, and stands so the referee can raise his hand.
Javier: As a result of a referee stoppage, your winner, at a time of 8:46, Lucian Alexander!
Woodbridge: Well, that was a nice win for Lucian, but it wasn't without help.
Paisner: Yeah, I mean, Lucian had no idea what had happened on the outside of the ring, but that doesn't mean it didn't influence the outcome of the match.
Lucian slides out from the ring, and high fives some fans at ringside, before slowly making the walk to the backstage area. As this is happening, Kyle Scott is regaining consciousness, and beginning to get to his feet. Once Scott is standing, and Lucian has left, Nova comes out from under the ring, to once again attack Scott with his brass knuckles.
Paisner: Oh no! Dear god! Nova get the fuck out of here! Not again!
He strikes Kyle across the face with the brass knucks twice before he goes down again. Nova continues the onslaught, and keeps on punching the downed Kyle with his weapon until he's fully unconscious once again. Only then does Dalidus Nova exit the ring, and head back through the crowd.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: That is just a vile attack from Dalidus Nova, that's the only way to look at it.
Woodbridge: It certainly was a vicious attack, but this is Kyle Scott we're talking about. He'll find a way to retaliate, I'm sure.
A doctor from backstage comes to help Kyle up, and aids him in walking to the back. Once he's behind the curtain, the screen goes black and a commercial is shown.
COMMERCIAL
Commercial Spokesperson: Hey there, my name is Charles Flanick, and I'm here to tell you about the freshest new product: The Uniboard! It's like an Electric Hoverboard, but with one wheel in the middle! Ain't that neat!
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WiR returns after commercial break, with the camera on Paisner and Woodbridge.
Paisner: Well, it's time for some more tournament action! In this bout, we'll see Eric Appelbaum face off against Tyler Dylan, in a match that we never even thought would happen!
Javier: This following match is scheduled for one fall! The winner of this match will go on to the Mecha Division's Semi-Final round, at the "Kyūkyoku no unmei no kyūkyoku no taiketsu" iPPV!
Heart Shaped Box starts to play, as Tyler Dylan comes out from behind the curtain. He raises his fists to the crowd, and starts to run down the ramp.
Javier: Introducing first, standing at 5 feet 10 inches and weighing 190 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan... TYLEEEER DYLAAAAN!
Woodbridge: And Tyler Dylan making it to this round of the tournament was a huge miracle in itself. Tyler was set to face Kaitlyn Casey Jones in the very first round, in a match that everyone thought would be heavily one sided in KCJ's favor. However, Tyler was able to get the pin over Kaitlyn, and advance, in quite possibly WiR's biggest upset.
Neon Rebels booms over the speakers, and Eric Appelbaum starts to slowly walk to the ring, with a large black Garbage Bag slung over his right shoulder. Halfway down the ramp, he sets it down.
Javier: And now approaching the ring, standing at 5 feet 11 inches and weighing 220 pounds... ERIIIC APPELBAAUUUUM!
Paisner: Eric has also seen quite some success in this tournament so far. He defeated Bruce Rodgers, one of the current Tag-Team Champions, to make it to this stage. A win here tonight will get him onto the iPPV, which could be exactly what he needs to get back to his former stardom.
DING DING DING!
Tyler and Eric circle eachother, both sizing their opponent up. They circle for a solid minute, until Eric finally makes the first move, and lurches towards Tyler. He doesn't expect it, and isn't able to dodge when Eric hits him on the chest with a few quick punches.Paisner: Eric finally starting this match off, hoping for a good start in this fight!
Woodbridge: Both of these men have similar battle plans: Hit first, hit fast, hit strong, and hit last! But it seems like Eric's already got step one on lockdown.
Eric Irish Whips Tyler into the ropes, and hits him with a Knee Strike to the gut when he returns. Dylan is flipped over Eric's knee, and lands hard on the mat. Eric quickly drops a short elbow onto Tyler, stunning him temporarily.
Woodbridge: And this is a very bad situation for Tyler. If there's one thing you can't do when you're in a match with Eric, it's let him get control of you.
Eric paces the ring, waiting for Dylan to make it back up. When he does, he goes for a big kick to Tyler, who manages to leap out of the way, and hit Eric with a Dropkick to the back! Eric whips forwards, and gets caught up in the ropes instead of falling to the mat.
Paisner: Oh man, what's Dylan gonna go for here? He's got Eric in a perfect situation!
Tyler bounces off the far rope, and sprints at Eric, he is about to hit him with a huge clothesline, but Eric is able to free himself from the ropes, and duck under the swing at the very last second. Dylan is running to quickly, and his momentum sends him straight over the top rope, and crashing down at ringside.
Crowd: ooooooooh!
Woodbridge: Jeez, we have a REALLY small crowd tonight, don't we?
Eric rolls under the ring to chase down Tyler, who is now up to a knee. Eric pulls him up to his feet, and throws him into the metal guard rail! Tyler winces in pain, but is able to quickly kick out Eric's knee from under him to stall for recovery time.
Paisner: What a smart play coming out from Tyler Dylan! He knows that he will need to get some energy back, so he very swiftly takes out Eric's mobility for a few seconds!
Eric gets back up, and Tyler rushes him, shoving his back into the Ring Apron! Tyler then slides back into the ring, while Eric drops to his hands and knees. Tyler runs at the far rope, bouncing off and is sent rushing towards the other side of the ring. On the outside, Eric finally gets back up, as Tyler Dylan leaps inbetween the second and third rope, and connects with a Suicide Dive!
Crowd: Oooooooh!
Woodbridge: And a big move by Tyler Dylan! He's gotta keep this offense up if he wants to work his way back into this match.
Tyler and Eric both make it to a stand, and they lock up, forcing against eachother. Eric weighs much more than Dylan, and thus gets the upper hand. Eric gets Dylan in a wristlock, before shooting a kick into his Abdomen, and twisting his wrist further.
Paisner: These types of holds may seem ineffective, but when you've got a burning pain in your wrist throughout the rest of the match, it becomes significantly harder to hit so many maneuvers!
Eric throws Tyler towards the ring apron, but Tyler is able to slide into the ring to avoid impact. Eric is angered by Tyler's reversal, and angrily follows him into the ring. When he gets back to his feet, Tyler greets him with a thunderous Roundhouse Kick!
Crowd: Ooooooh!
Woodbridge: And it's moves like those that can change the tide of a match on a dime! Stunning offense coming out from Tyler Dylan!
Eric goes down hard from the kick, And Tyler Dylan quickly covers Eric, hooking one leg. Tai Ni Wong drops down to the mat to start the count.
1...!
2...!
NO! Eric Appelbaum kicks out just after two. Tyler rolls away, and gets back up to his feet. Eric gets up to a knee, and Tyler Dylan pulls him up to his feet from behind, spinning him in the process. With his back to Eric's front, Tyler hooks Eric's head, and drops him face-first to the mat with a Cutter!
Paisner: A HUGE Cutter from Tyler Dylan! He may seal his spot at the iPPV right now!
Tyler goes for another pin attempt on Eric Appelbaum, who is visibily dazed and stunned from the Cutter.
1...!
2...!
3.. - NO!
Woodbridge: This match has been quite back and forth so far. Currently, Dylan seems to have the upper hand, but that can change so damn quickly in matches like this one.
Paisner: And we should mention just how important this match is to both of these men. The winner will get a spot on our upcoming iPPV on the 31st of July. The loser most likely will not be on the show at all!
Tyler pries Eric off the mat, and hooks his head. He throws Eric's arm over his neck, and attempts to pick him up for a Suplex. However, Eric manages to hold off the throw, and wraps his arm around Tylers neck, before pulling him downwards and rolling him up in a cradle!
1...!
2...!
NO! Tyler Dylan pushes against Eric's weight, and barely escapes from the roll-up. Tyler quickly pops up to his feet, But Eric was slightly faster, and is able to get the upper hand with a Spinning Backfist to the face of Dylan! He is dropped down to the mat, but is able to get up to a knee fairly quickly.
Paisner: Now it looks like Eric's turn to get control again. Both of these guys have busted their asses in this match, but we all know that there can only be one winner in the end.
Tyler gets back up, and Eric quickly sprints at him. He attempts a running lariat, but Tyler rolls underneath it. He springs off the rope, now rushing at Eric. Suddenly, Tyler leaps forwards, and attempts a spear on Eric! However, Eric dodges to the right at the last second, and Tyler spears Tai Ni Wong, who was standing behind Eric, unbeknownst to Dylan!
Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy shit!
Woodbridge: Oh shit! Tyler Dylan has taken down the referee! And Eric is already looking to take advantage!
From behind Eric reaches over Tyler Dylans face, and starts madly clawing at his eyes, nose, and mouth. Dylan screams in pain, before Eric slams him in the back of the head with an Elbow! With Tyler Dylan down on the mat, Eric Appelbaum rolls out of the ring, and walks up the makeshift ramp. He approaches his black bag, and reaches inside, to grab two cheap looking Laptops.
Eric Appelbaum: Black Hat time, motherfuckers!
Eric puts both laptops under his left arm, and walks back into the ring. Tyler Dylan is on his hands and knees, and Eric stomps on his back and head a few times, to get him laying back down on the mat.
Paisner: Eric man, please don't do this to the kid...
Eric places one of the two laptops down on the mat, and drags Tyler Dylans head ontop of it.
Woodbridge: Jesus, are we really gonna see Appelbaum give a Black Hat to Tyler Dylan? Well, if there's one way to win a match, this is definitely it.
With Tyler still down, Eric Appelbaum holds the other laptop in both hands, and lifts it high above his head. He has a fury in his eyes, and he forcefully slams the Laptop down, trying to connect with Dylan's skull! But, Dylan quickly snaps his body backwards, pulling his head out of the way. Eric slams the first laptop down onto the second, and the vibrations of the impact causes him to drop the first laptop.
Paisner: Tyler Dylan just saved his own ass! Barely, JUST BARELY, he avoids one of Eric's strongest moves!
Tyler snatches one of the Laptops off the mat, leaps up to his feet, and quickly slams it into the Abdomen of Eric! He bends over from the strike, and Tyler grabs at the other Laptop. He picks it up, and breaks the laptop over the back of Eric!
DING DING DING!
Woodbridge: What?!?Tyler Dylan looks around the ring, bewildered, until he notices that Tai Ni Wong had came back to, right before Tyler smashed the Laptop over Eric. He suddenly realizes what this means for him.
Tyler Dylan: No! No! Ref, you didn't see everything!
Tai Ni Wong: I see! I see you! You hit him with computer! You Disqualified!
Tyler tries to plead with the referee, and explain his case. Behind him, Eric Appelbaum sits in the corner, gleefully laughing as he too realizes that he won the match.
Javier: Your winner via disqualification, at a time of 12:45... ERIC APPLELBAUUUUUUUM!
Eric rolls out of the ring, and raises his arms to celebrate, all while yelling insults towards Tyler. Tyler is furious in the ring, and he angrily snaps one of the Laptops in half over his knee, before throwing the broken electronic towards Eric.
Paisner: Honestly, I can't help but feel bad for Tyler. Eric introduced those Laptops into the match in the first place, but Tai Ni only saw Tyler using them. However, this does mean that it will be Eric Appelbaum advancing to the next round of this tournament, which will be at the iPPV on Sunday!
Woodbridge: This only leads to the question: Whats next for Tyler Dylan now? He's certainly made an impression on everyone tonight, and with his win over KCJ, big things could be in his future. For now, we must wait and see. Speaking of waiting, we'll be right back with more action after this break!
COMMERCIAL
We cut to the ring where Javier is in the middle of the ring, alongside a man who appears to wear swimming shorts and wrestling boots. His eyes not seen through his thick aviator glasses.
Javier: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee at this time is Harry Undersach. First, at this time in the ring, from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 210lbs.. Blake Arroth!
Arroth takes the microphone from Javier and looks into the camera, smiling as he uses one hand to point at his abs.
Arroth: I want each and every single one of you to look at this body. It is the body of a warrior, the body of a man of excellence, the body.. of me.
Crowd: BOOOOO!!!
Paisner: This guy is not making any friends here tonight.
Woodbridge: He seems like he would drink Budlight Lime.
Blake grins across the crowd who curse profanities at the man, but he does not care.
Arroth: Do you guys really think I care? I’m the baddest man on the planet. I’m the human incarnation of sex on the beach and the guy sticks his dick in the sand before getting into that sweet puss once more.
Woodbridge: Classic Screaming Seagull.
Arroth takes off his glasses and wants to speak again, but This Life by Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers begins to play, as Dutch appears from the crowd.
Javier: And his opponent, representing The Kingdom of The Netherlands, weighing in at 237lbs, “The Mass Eliminator”, “The Hardcore Specialist”, “The Most Controversial Man in WiR History”, “Mr. AMUDOV”, “The Man Of A 1001 Nicknames” but most importantly.. “The Incarnation of Insanity” Mark Dutch!
As Dutch his name is called by Javier, he turns around, both hands above his head before pointing down with his thumbs at the back of his leather cut before walking along the fans to the ring, Blake meanwhile putting his glasses back on.
Paisner: Now this is a true incarnation of something crazy!
Woodbridge: Since his return, he had a strong showing against Andrew Garcia in the first round, even eliminating him before being eliminated by Jack Anchor last week! Let’s see what he’s got in store for tonight!
Dutch climbs up to the apron before climbing up to the turnbuckle, spreading his arms out while one half of the crowd cheers him on.
Crowd: BIG FUCKING DUTCHMAN! clap clap clapclapclap BIG FUCKING DUTCHMAN! clap clap clapclapclap
Meanwhile, the other half of the crowd try to send across a good message.
Crowd: Sorry ‘boot that! clap clap clapclapclap Sorry ‘boot that!
Dutch smirks before climbing down and taking off his cut and laying it down by the turnbuckle before Blake runs at Dutch and hits him with a knee to the kidneys.
DING DING DING
Blake beats down on Dutch with strong fists while Dutch holds his hands on his head, trying to prevent any hits on the head.
Paisner: Dutch playing it safe. That’s something you don’t see often.
Dutch is able to turn around and pushes Blake away, Blake making a roll back before getting to his feet and going for Dutch again, but Dutch quickly sends Blake down with a diving clothesline. Both men get up immediately and Dutch goes for another. Blake gets up and tries to hit Dutch over the head, but Dutch ducks under and slaps Blake in the face so hard in the face, his sunglasses fall off.
Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!!
Blake puts his hand on his face and looks at Dutch before expressing an angered look. When Blake tries to grab his glasses, Dutch kicks him in the face with a soccer kick, moving him back and standing straight up, the kick hard enough to have him stagger back, almost falling before Dutch goes for a quick dropkick, taking Blake off his feet.
Paisner: Dutch is making use of Blake’s desire to get his glasses!
Woodbridge: The only glasses I care about are pints of beer!
As Dutch walks over to Blake, he steps right onto Blake’s glasses, crushing them. Blake looks up in shock as he hears them break and he performs a kip up to get in Dutch his face.
Arroth: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BREAK MY GLASSES?!? YOU’RE SO FUCKING DEAD, MAN!
Dutch, like the man he is, screams back.
Dutch: WELL GO AHEAD AND FUCKING KILL ME! DO IT, YOU CUCK!
Arroth: I FUCKING WILL!
Arroth immediately headbutts Dutch, but Dutch doesn’t even look staggered by it, meanwhile Blake grabs his head.
Woodbridge: So.. Dutch is samoan?
Paisner: Apparently. That or we found a new group who you can’t headbutt.
Woodbridge: Nah, Dutch is Samoan.
Dutch grabs Arroth by the hair and shushes the crowd, who comply. Dutch takes a step back before he hits Blake with the Sick Headbutt, the crowd cringing by the sound of the skulls colliding. Blake turns his head away and grabs ahold of it while the camera stays focused on Dutch, drips of blood now coming out of his hair and slowly rolling down his forehead.
Paisner: That has to be the hardest headbutt Dutch has ever given! He’s busted open!
Woodbridge: Not only Dutch.
Blake now looks up, blood pouring faster than when a girl has her first period. Dutch uses his hand to grab Blake by his chin and brings him to his feet, standing wobbly on them, but having some energy in him to kick Dutch as hard as he can into his left knee, Dutch immediately going down and clutching it. Blake barely, stands over Dutch now and he laughs as he is in control now.
Paisner: Now that’s a cunt move.
Woodbridge: Hence why he is “The Screaming Seagull” and his first name is Blake. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, PAIS?!?
Blake gives Dutch a kick to his side and Dutch rolls over, kneeling with his hands on the ground while Blake takes a step back to get ready to give a soccer kick to Dutch his side. Dutch clutches his side and Blake runs at Dutch, but Dutch quickly rolls out of the way. Blake turns to Dutch, who quickly gets to his feet and Blake tries to attack Dutch. Dutch dodges the punch heading for his face and delivers an uppercut.. AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! A RAIN OF UPPERCUTS FALL UPON BLAKE ARROTH!.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHH!!
Dutch then immediately lifts Blake up in the air and goes for a very european Uppercut, but Blake somehow gets his feet on Dutch his shoulders, trying to go for a hurricanrana but Dutch keeps himself on his feet.
Paisner: Never have I ever seen Dutch show such power!
Woodbridge: He has more power in his body than Blake has to slam his sand covered cock in a sweet puss!
Dutch, using his strength, lifts up Blake and throws him in the air before hitting the Very European Uppercut, Blake his head snapping back as he lands on the mat.
Crowd: OOOOOOHHH!!
Dutch looks down at Blake and thinks about going for the pin, but he refuses. His eyes are large, staring down at Blake Arroth while the crowd see his attitude change. From the man people loved when he walked down the ring, now back to his meaner misdemeanor self. His body tenses up and the insane look the crowd feared back then is now on his face. Dutch walks to one of the turnbuckle and places his arms on the ropes, holding himself back. Blake is starting to get up but gets no further than kneeling on the ground. Dutch tries to hold himself back but can’t and he sprints as fast as he can at Blake before hitting him with a knee in the back of his head
Woodbridge: KINZOKU-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Immediately after, Dutch lunges at the head and his arm and locks Blake into the Crippler Crossface and pulls his body back, bending Blake so far, he’s close to breaking his spine. Blake, barely conscious, wastes no time and taps out.
DING DING DING
Dutch keeps cranking back the neck of Blake as he continues to tap out, slowly fading away as Dutch screams in anger and terror before Harry tries to get sense back in Dutch. Dutch keeps cranking and cranking before he lets go of Blake and he goes down face first on the mat.
Javier: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner at this time, at a time of 4:53, MAAAAAAAAAARK DUUUUUUTCH
The crowd cheers for Dutch as he almost wrecked the Screaming Seagull, tho they are still fearful for Dutch as he is still tensed up.
Paisner: I think we just saw old times of Dutch.
Dutch closes his eyes and looks down at the mat, slowly getting himself calm again. When calm, he looks at Blake who is being treated by the medical staff now before swiping his arm over his forehead, smearing blood over his arm and Dutch looks in shock.
Woodbridge: Dutch got dark, he lost control of himself and he barely remembers.. Shit..
Dutch looks at Blake once again, shocked and disgusted of himself before he gets out of the ring. He looks on while Dutch looks around, unsure what to think, hoping the crowd doesn’t hate him for what he did.
Dutch: I couldn’t control myself. I really couldn’t. I’m sorry I went this far.. I need to leave..
Dutch quickly turns around and heads to the back, leaving Blake for dead basically still while Dutch fears the opinions of others. Just as he is about to head to the back, he turns around again and stares around. He almost looks scared.. but somehow feels satisfied, probably because the crowd cheers him on because he beat Douchy McDoucheface. He goes to the back behind the curtains and the camera cuts away.
COMMERCIAL
Woodbridge: Well, it's time for tonight's 6-Man Tag Team match! In just a few short minutes, we will be seeing the pairing of The Warlords and Maverick, working together to take on Buster, Briggs, and Krieger.
Paisner: Recently, Buster and Sierra have befriended Charlie, forming the trios team that they call BBC. But how will they fair against Former Tag-Team Champions in The Warlords, the and former Independent Champion in Maverick?
Javier: The following match is a 6-Man Tag Team Match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 693 pounds, the team of Charlie Krieger, Buster Bravado, and Sierra Briggs... BBC!
Paisner: Sierra and Buster have been longtime friends, and know eachother extremely well. Bringing the dominant Charlie Krieger into this team only serves to make them a powerful force here in WiR.
Black Friday booms over the speakers, filling the warehouse. The few fans in attendance start to boo at the three, who walk their way down to the ring. They roll under the bottom rope, and raise their arms to the camera.
Woodbridge: And speaking of powerful forces, I think it's time to introduce our next team!
Seven Nation Army starts to play, and the fans start to cheer as The Warlords move back the curtain. The two look at eachother, before starting to walk down to the ring.
Javier: And now approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 554 pounds, the team of Robert Warlock and Stephen Romero... THE WARLORDS!
Before entering the ring, Warlock and Romero pause, and lean against the apron, waiting for their partner for the night. Soon enough, Killing In The Name booms, and Maverick pushes back the curtain, greeted by cheers from the crowd.
Javier: And finally, approaching the ring, weighing 225 pounds and standing at 6 feet 1 inch, from Dallas, Texas... MAAAAVERIIIIICK!
Maverick starts to give high-fives to the few fans at ringside. He meets up with Warlock and Romero at ringside, and shakes both of their hands, before all 3 slide into the ring. Warlock and Romero walk into their corner and get onto the apron, while Sierra and Buster let Charlie get into the match first also.
DING DING DING!
Charlie starts the match off fast, and attempts a clothesline. Maverick, however, snatches the arm, and throws Charlie with an Armdrag! Charlie quickly gets back to his feet by the ropes, and Maverick drops him right back down with a Dropkick!Maverick: Woooooo!
Charlie gets up yet again. Maverick bounces off the far rope, which in turn launches him towards Charlie. Charlie is quick to react, and gives Maverick a HUGE clothesline, which sends him flipping before landing.
Charlie: Welcome back, bitch!
Woodbridge: A huge reversal from Charlie! This match is starting very quickly, and I have a feeling it may stay with way all match!
Maverick slowly gets back up, And Charlie bounces off the rope, before running back at Maverick and hitting him with a Crossbody! Both men go down, and Charlie hooks the leg to attempt a cover.
1...!
2.. - No!
Maverick gets the shoulder up fast, and Krieger is starting to get ticked off. Buster sees this, and tells Krieger to tag him into the match, which he does. Buster gets into the ring, and starts to run the ropes, waiting for Maverick to get back up.
Paisner: That was a beautiful Crossbody by Charlie, I'm surprised Maverick was able to kick out so quickly!
Woodbridge: Well now it's time for Buster Bravado to get his turn in this match, let's see what he can do!
Maverick gets standing, and Buster strikes from behind with a quick jab to the back of the head. Buster then spins Maverick around, before giving him a chop to the chest. Maverick ignores the pain, and strikes with a chop of his own! Buster clutches at his chest, gasping for air, when Maverick kicks him in the gut to bend him over, before running the far rope, and hitting Buster with a Swinging Neckbreaker in the middle of the ring!
Paisner: Jesus! Maverick might be able to pick up a quick win on Buster after a Neckbreaker like that!
However, instead of going for a pin, Maverick reaches out to his corner, tagging in Stephen Romero. Romero steps over the tope rope into the ring, and nails Buster with a Superman Punch! Buster is sent flying back down to the mat, but rolls back up to his feet. Romero grabs his wrist and Irish Whips him into the rope, and he is sent bouncing back. Romero goes for a Big Boot, but Buster ducks under it, and pulls the leg Romero is standing on, causing him to topple down to the mat.
Paisner: Innovative offense from Buster Bravado, making Stephen pile on top of himself!
Woodbridge: Yeah, but he's gonna have to do A LOT more than that if he wants to defeat Romero here tonight.
Buster gets up to his feet, as Romero is up to a knee, Buster bounces off the rope facing Romero, before running back towards him, and hitting Romero square in the jaw with an Kneeling Enziguri!
Crowd: Oooooh!
Romero is sent flat on his back, and Buster starts to stomp madly on the arms, fingers, and joints of Romero. He then grabs Romero by the forehead, lifting it up off the mat, before slamming it back down into the mat! Buster then quickly crawls on top of Romero, and the ref starts the count.
1...!
2...!
No! Romero kicks out forcefully, and Buster gets up to his feet while Romero is still down. Buster drags his opponent into his corner, before tagging in Sierra. She slides inbetween the second and third rope, before stomping away at Romero, who is sitting in the corner.
Sierra: THIS IS OUR RING NOW!
Sierra grabs Romero and pulls him up to his feet in the corner. She pulls her hand back, before giving a sickening chop to Romero's chest! He tries to walk out of the corner, gasping for breath, but Sierra slams him back into the turnbuckle, before backing up, and rushing Romero with a knee to the chest!
Paisner: A HUGE corner Knee Strike to the former tag-team champion! Is it enough?
Sierra gives a Snapmare to the 320 pound man, before going for the cover. She hooks the right leg, closest to the ring ropes.
1...!
2...!
No! Again, Romero kicks out at 2. Sierra considers tagging out of the match, but instead decides against it. She begins to circle Romero, as he gets to his feet. When he does, Sierra runs at the rope, and bounces off it. Running towards Romero at full speed, Sierra has no time to dodge when Romero grabs her and almost effortlessly lifts her into the air, before slamming her back down to the mat with a Spinebuster!
Paisner: Holy shit! A HUGE Spinebuster!
Woodbridge: Romero just picked up 250 pounds like it was nothing! I don't think we've ever seen Sierra be completely manhandled like that before!
Stephen Romero starts to slowly crawl towards his own corner, attempting to escape from BBC's side. While this is happening, Sierra Briggs rolls back into her own corner, and Charlie Krieger tags himself into the match. Charlie gets into the ring, While Stephen Romero gives one final lunge to his corner, and is able to tag in Robert Warlock.
Paisner: Charlie and Robert square off in the middle of the ring! This is gonna get real good, real fast!
Woodbrige: But it's important to remember that Robert is fresh into this match, while Charlie has had to go for a bit already.
2015.11.12 09:05 edyalonsostq1 Help! May the insurance provider purchase my car that is totaled?
Help! May the insurance provider purchase my car that is totaled? Our daughter who's 19 has full coverage on her automobile which is within the look being fixed for hail damage. She can't rent a car as a result of her era, so my vehicle has been employed by her for around a month. Our car has liability-only. She was recently with my vehicle in a car accident. Another auto caused the incident which caused her to side swipe another auto and a post was struck by her. The vehicle that triggered the collision sped off. Nobody got that car's license plate variety. Since her car was while in the shop, must my insurance buy my totaled car? Thankfully no one was injured.
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submitted by edyalonsostq1 to Adopt_A_Cameron [link] [comments]
18 year old military private automobile insurance cost in NYC? Hi my brand is Ernest recently, and that I lately just purchased my first vehicle. I obtained an 2011 Mazda 3 I for 11k out the entranceway price including tax and borrowed through Navy federal bank. The check is likely to be coming in the email thursday and i will have to have insurance to go get the car. Ive been searching online and calling various insurance providers to obtain a quote and im at spending 400-600 monthly for insurance looking! Below are a few of the prices these insurance brokers offered me at. Geico - 500 State Farm - 400 USAA - 600 Modern - 550 Esurance - wondering if this really is normal? I expected to spend 200-250 although not 400-600, I'm 18 years of age. been in the military for 6 months. Clean record. If this can be typical, since 03/15/2012 could anybody tell me and have been permit in the age of 16? And what other auto insurance firms come in new york? thank you to your time.
Atv liability insurance? I'm only looking at atv`s, dont have a hint yet which one i want, so i cant get yourself an insurance quotation without everything, if liability insurance is excessive i wont be receiving one anyone, it seems its Required in Florida, anyone have a Basic idea of insurance for a fresh, claim 7,000 one could be, just an appraisal. Also I am hoping i misread that i need to take a program to get a certificate for that atv, just like a bike? Anybody know of states that this?
Exactly what the hell is incorrect with my insurance quote?? Support please? Hello, I Have simply visited confused.com and received a for that car I'd like - FORD MONDEO VERONA 16V 1997-2000 1796cc 5 DOOR HATCHBACK Information Petrol - 12,0000 mileage My cheapest premium was 4329 has been done around by this hand automobile?? Why on earth can it be therefore expensive?? Can it be the truth that I am A - 20 yearold man? Or that I've simply had my permit to get a month? Or I Have just existed in the united kingdom for three years? Motor size?? State-of car???
3 charge items on licence, being a driver that is named, how may insurance impact? My girl was understanding how to travel and obtained herself only a little clio, but, it was cheaper on insurance, I Have had a clear certificate for over 30 years, if I continued being a named driver. But, I obtained a speeding citation on my certificate in December and three things. Our daughter informed the insurance provider, and proceeded to go her exam, pushing her quality up really high. Anyway, I forgot exactly about my details. This week she was involved with an accident, can my non disclosure imply they wont shell out?
ADVICE: I found this site where you can compare quotes for free: WW1.INSUREQUOTE.US
2015.09.21 06:03 ScottyJive SHOUT GUN SATURDAY NIGHT 9/19 Colonial Life Arena, Columbus SC
A graphic is shown with the SBCW Logo. http://i.imgur.com/kbrOzJn.jpg?1
The show broadcasts live to a live shot outside the arena. A black hearse, with various crosses as decals pulls up. Perfect Peter is driving with Sacred Sam riding shotgun. They get out and open the back and there is a coffin. They open it and Evan Almighty climbs out with his "Saved!" United States Title on his shoulder. Brock Lee is seen speaking with security. "I AM BROCA-REE, DO YOU NEE-AH-SEE MA I.REE?" "No way, man! You're good, you're good!" The security guard, immediately shakes hands with Brock Lee and bumps shoulders. "Congratulations on your title win, champ!" Brock Lee bow's his head and the security guard allows him to enter. As soon as he enters the guard immediately blocks Divine Intervention's path as soon as he sees them. Evan Almighty smiles back at Perfect Peter and Sacred Sam and raises his title in the guard's face. The guard crosses his arms and continues to wait patiently. "Open sesame!" Evan Almighty shouts, "Your champion, your savior demands entry!" "Perfect, just perfect..." Perfect Peter mumbles under his breath. "Let me just get out my I.D." "No need, you're not permitted to enter." He points to the sign beside him. "Can't you read, Authorized Personnel Only!" He says. "Surely you're mistaken," Peter responds, gesturing toward his companions and himself. "I get it. You must be new. Everyone else usually recognizes us..." "No I'm not new, in fact, I've been working here for 3 years." "There must be some type of list you can verify--" "No, no there isn't." "We're Divine Intervention, let us in!" Evan Almighty shouts losing his patience. "The only kind of intervention that's going to get you in the arena tonight is a supervisor's intervention." "Call him!" Evan Almighty shouts. "I am the supervisor." "SILENCE!" Sacred Sam shouts at the top of his lungs. "Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. Let us in, or I will burn the whole damn arena to the ground." "Are you threatening me?" He reaches for his radio, and Perfect Peter stops him. "That won't be necessary!" He frowns at Sacred Sam, and focuses back on Security. "I am Perfect Peter, he is Sacred Sam, and him over there, yes him, that is the Savior, Evan Almighty. We're wrestlers and this is, this is--" "Oh I know!" Someone shouts off camera, "This is the very last time we'll see you guys!" A familiar voice shouts, "Nanana, nanana, hey, hey, hey GOOD BYE!" Herbie Hughes circles around them as he plays his guitar. "Nanana, Nanana, hey, hey hey, Goodbye!" Evan Almighty's head lowers and Perfect Peter puts a hand on his shoulder, causing Evan to tremble. "E-Evan you're stronger than this, you're the savior!" "Don't ever let them see you cry, Evan!" Sacred Sam shouts. "Hey now, what's with all the long faces?" Herbie Hughes asks. "You guys may no longer be employed, but that doesn't mean we can't send you guys off in style, now come on. I mean, career threatening injury aside, we all used to get along at one point." Herbie Hughes looks at the guard, "Tonight these guys are with me, because tonight won't be any regular night, tonight is LIVE, baby! And it will be known worldwide as Divine Appreciation Night, and you three will be my honorary guests."
Then a graphic of ALLEGIANCE http://strikerfoundation.org/sites/default/files/images/AllegianceLogo.jpg airs on the screen, with the "official" Allegiance theme cutting out Prodigy...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfKBaf4A8s0
::Allegiance theme plays as we see clips from the Sold Out Amalie Arena packed to the brim as the clips show montage of what took place from Clockwork Orange, to the 2 out of 3 Falls controversial ending,to Brock Lee capturing the Hardcore Championship, to clips from Do or Die between The League of Impact and Divine Intervention, showing the crowd singing DI off to "Nanananana, Heeeey Heey Heeey Goodbye!" Then cuts to the First Blood match some of the action in that, Dark Doctor being busted open without the referee being conscious to see, then the shocking turn of Jaisen Wallace who aided in CB losing the First Blood Match, to Dark Doctor. Then we get a quick rundown of every entry member of the Gauntlet and who and how they were eliminated. See Kahuna about to be named the winner when Block Vander returned...and they see BV defeat Kahuna with Kimona throwing in the towel for him!::
Cuts back live and immediately sent to the broadcast team for tonight, it's Jerry "The Physique" Acuna and Thaddeus Buckswealth behind the desnk, as Joey Companyman is ring announcing tonight.
JPA "Welcome Multiverse to another fantastic night of action and a huge night where we will hear from The Kahuna himself regarding the offer made by Owner of SBCW Rob West, as he is basically given the run of the company to Kahuna as SBCW's General manager, tonight Kahuna has a huge choice to make, he can take the position, which will force him to walk away from in ring action OR he can remain an active member of the roster and turn down the opportunity to be SBCW's GM!? What are your thoughts on that Buckswealth?"
TB "Quite frankly, K would be a dope to turn down a chance to stop getting his ass kicked week in and week out and maybe have the abiliity to run SBCW pretty well..I mean when he had his week to run SBCW the place didn't go up in flames...so he's capable of providing entertaining shows..but is he smart enough to step away, and use this chance to cement his place in SBCW as the GM? Honestly...I think Kahuna IS a bit of a dope, and can't see him walking away from the ring."
JPA " It certainly is a dilemma for sure. He may also want to think about what's best for not just his body but for his new life, he's about to get married this Wednesday, in Waikiki to the beautiful Kimona."
TB" So, perhaps this is his time for him to take a break from action, be the GM, and concentrate on what's best for business AND pleasure!"
JPA " let's not forget what we jsut witnessed before the show officially began. Divine Intervention who LOST at Allegiance to the League of Impact, are in the building as, surprse surprise the guest of Herbie Hughes?"
TB " Well, that security guard should be fired on the spot, the blantant disrespect he shown the US Champion and DI. Tonight DI may be in their final arena as part of SBCW, and what a way to send off these heroes to the masses by way of a tribute to them with a night of Divine Appreciation. HH was right about that! As history has told us though, you can never trust HH and his true intentions...I'm just not buying this "let bygone be bygone's" charade. Something's up!"
JPA "We shall see, but in the meantime we are going to show you a clip, from earlier in the week from Monster Mack as he was cleaning up the mess left behind in his wrestling school, by The Taylor Made Alliance last week. Take a look at this.."
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CAMERA FILMING INSIDE MMU. CAMERA CAPTURES MONSTER WASHING OFF THE GRAFFITI. WE SEE TRAINEES CLEANING UP THE TRASH, AND OTHERS TRYING TO FIX THE EQUIPMENT.
Monster Mack
" As bad as Taylor and Symphony of Destruction, trashed my school, now looking at it with a cooler head I cine to realize this spray paint, the trash, the dents..they are all temporary, I can wash off the paint, clean up the trash, and fix the dents or replace damaged material. YOU know what is permanent... SCARS!! SCARS that I wish to conflict on Chord, Legacy and especially Casey Taylor!!"
CAMERA CUTS AWAY THEN WE SEE MONSTER MACK IN THE LOCKER ROOM REPLACING THE LOCKERS.
Monster Mack
" The attack on my school was a personal attack..and while I did make light of Casey Taylor, and played ribs on him, it was never with malicious intent..But now that I've been attacked personally..and beaten physically at Allegiance, I am not done with getting my licks in."
CLIP CUTS TO MONSTER MACK OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL WALKING ALONG SIDE THE FENCE ALONG THE SCHOOL AND IS RUNNING HIS HAND ALONG IT.
Monster Mack
" After those three effected my run in the Gauntlet I'm ready to Get malicious and it starts in paradise. In Hawai'i as part of Cameron Bennett's team, I'll get my hands on those three as well my pals Jekyll and Hyde. But that's not enough...I want Casey Taylor one on one ONE LAST TIME! I want no outside forces effecting this match I want you Casey Taylor inside of a STEEL CAGE!! And when I get you inside the confides of a cage I will have malicious intent..I will show you west happens when you get person and impact my livelihood I know impact your life, your face, your body!! You will be left bloodied bruised and SCARRED! And while this school will thrive and appear just as it I've had if not better, that YOU Casey, will be left with SCARS to remind you that time you didn't tangle with a Mack but you were destroyed by The Monster! "
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TB " Taylor Made really did a number on that circus of Monster Mack's...but I don't know how wise it is for Monster Mack to approach an idea of putting Casey Taylor in the Cage with him, I mean Casey Taylor did a number on MM at Allegiance not only defeating MM in the Clockwork ORange Funhouse, but then the Taylor Made Alliance left MM beaten down during the Gauntlet. CT is no joke, we've learned what he's capable of when he's disrespected, does MM really want a guy like that locked ina c age...I think it's a poor decision on Mack's part...the more violent these matches get the more it seems to favor CT."
http://youtu.be/5A3DB7SghdA Fans pop out of their seats at the music of The Monster Mack Show, as they come out to a huge ovation in the Colonial Life Arena.
JC " The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall, introducing first..."
MM and t1 come out, in new T Shirts http://i822.photobucket.com/albums/zz150/ORlyYaRlyNoWai/MackAttack.jpg sporting their new Tag Team T Shirt..they come on full of energy as they interact with the audience slapping hands and holding up supportive signs.
JC " They are Monster Mack and Trainee#1, they are now collectively known as Mmmmack Attaaack!"
JPA "Maybe so, but remember Monster Mack has beaten CT twice already, he beat him in the Bat on a Pole and ina Lumberjack Match. Monster Mack also defeated all three members in the Gauntlet as he pinned Legacy twice beat Chord twice, and CT lost by DQ in the Gauntlet to MM so Allegiance certainly showed MM is very much capable of defeating ANY of The Taylor Made Alliance no matter the match!"
MM grabs a mic
Monster Mack " Face me in the cage, Taylor, grow some balls and answer my challenge..."
CT does not appear instead out comes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w0ZRYywReo Symphony of Destruction make there way down to the ring..sporting there Taylor made Alliance attire from Allegiance still, they appear without Casey Taylor.
TB " Mack should be focused at the dangerous task at hand as these guys are ready and willing to put a hurting on these circus freaks!"
JPA " Circus freaks call them clowns...call them what you will, but what they ARE they are GOOD! We seen how good MM has been sicne arriving, we get to see T1 in the ring for the first time in SBCW teaming with Monster Mack here tonight, as Mack Attack, know very well how dangerous these two are."
JC " There opponents, Chord and Legacy, the Symphony of Deeeeestruction!"
C and L, climb on to the ring apron death stares to Mack Attack. MM and T1 waving them to come on in. C puts down his boiling hot water bucket and places his lead sprinkler in side. C and L remove there jackets then toss them in MM and T1 face..as they rush inside and start pounding on the two luchadores! C and L taken full advantage...the referee calls for the bell..
}}} DING DING DING {{{
C and L continue beating on the two stomping away on the two on the ground. C calls L over and the two start double teaming Monster Mack they toss MM over the top rope. The two then concentrates on T1 who briefly comes out of the corner swinging..connecting a few shots to both L and C before they both boot T1 in the gut then together drive T1 shoulder first into the steel post. Referee struggling to maintain order already, as he tries tog et one to leave. C finally does, and L covers T1.
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only gets 2. L grabs T1 in an armbar. T fights back to his feet and breaks the hold hitting L with a drop toe hold then rolls over L and snatches a side headlock! L with some elbow shots as he tries brekaing the headlock..he shoots T1 off the ropes but gets hit with a shoulder block.. T1 keeps running L goes for a hip toss..T1 revereses, L tries reversing it back, and T1 with a final revesal and hip tossing L over the top rope. T1 manages to make the tag to MM who's now on the apron. MM after the tag runs on the aprona nd hits a somersault to L. MM sends L back into the ring. Acends the ropes..C tries to intervene but MM see's him coming and boots C in the mouth. L tries to take advantage of the distraction climbing up looking for a superplex. MM holds on then couple of midsection shots before headbutting L off the top rope. L stands back up.. MM dives off.. L ducks the cross body..but MM manages to transition to a diving school boy.
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L pops up..goes for a clothesline, MM snatches thw arm spins hima round and hits a double arm DDT. Cover.
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C breaks it up. MM brings L into his corner tags T1 back in. T1 and MM hit L with a double hiptoss they catch L legs coming over then launches him high into the air into a stereo side slam. Tz covers.
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C again breaks up the pin attempt.
T1 back with a side headlock..L fights to his feet tries shooting T1 off but T1 holds onto the head. L forces T1 into the corner forcing a break. as the refereee breaks the two out of the corner..L guages the eyes of T1..then dropkicks T1 in the shoulder. L sends T1 off the ropes, it's reveresed and T1 hits a calf kick. T1 turns around and C grabs the arm and drops it across the top rope as C jumps off the apron. L capitalizes and hits T1 with a single arm breaker! Shoots the half.
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t1 kicks out. L grabs the arm and holds it as C tags himself in.. C headbutts the shoulder several times before draping it over the ropes and then starts pulling on the arm from under the top rope as C places his foot on the shoulder for added pressure. Referee counts to get C to release. 1...2..3..4..4.5! C nearly gets DQed before he breaks off his assault. L tags back in C holds the arm as L comes off the top rope with a diving knee to the shoulder. rolls T1 up as he was doubled over favoring his arm.
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T1 kicks out.. turns straight intoa dropkick to the shoulder. Another cover.
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T1 still alive. L places T1 in a hammer lock on the ground, cranking the arm! Lifts up his legs in the air then drives them back down delivering a devastating knee to the hammerlocked arm! T1 rolls out of the hammerlock..but L maintains controll of the arm.. has the armlock in.. T1 connects with a few forearm shots shoots L off the ropes looks for a back body drop but L counters as T1 telegraphs it and kicks him stiff in the arm..then clothesline T1 to the mat. L tags out to C who starts mercilessly stomping the hell out of T1's arm. Then spits at MM who tries coming in..as the referee is distracted L and C both in the ring continue beating down T1. Referee turns around to see L covering T1.
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Only gets 2! L grills the referee as he is getting frustrated. L puts T1 back in Symphony of Destruction's corner. C tagged back in L holding T1 in the corner, C goes to irishwhip L into T1 in the corner and L leaps up to hit Double knees to the corner.. T1 manages to evade it sending L knee first into the corner and falling over the top to the floor. C goes for a boot, T catches it spins C aroaund and hits a discus clothesline to C. T1 goes down as C rolls to the floor... T1 manages to crawl closer to his corner then forward rolls to get to his corner and makes the TAG!!
HOT TAG!
MM comes right in and dives at C and L who are trying to help each other to their feet only to be hit my MM's Suicide Dive! MM tosses L back into..hits a diving crossbody off the top rope. C slides back in but is met with some jabs by MM, C with a clothesline attempt MM ducks it delivers a stiff forearm shot rocking C to the turnbuckle. L is back up goes for a kick..MM grabs it.. MM flicks his hand under his chin at L before he spins him around...as C is about to ambush MM from behind, L tries to hit MM with a Dragon whip, but MM ducks it and L hits C instead. C rolls to the outside.. L trying to apologize, Monster Mack with school boy into the Fender Bender locked in!! Referee checking on L as he struggle to get to the ropes. MM pulls L away from the ropes and sits back down locking it deep! L raises his hand about to TAP? C grabs the Lead Sprinkler from the boiling water bucket. Starts climbing up the stairs to use it the referee is warning C not to use the weapon! MM releases the hold as he see's C. L takes advantage low blows MM from behind! L goes to pick up MM from behind looking to hit the Beat Drop.. MM rolls through it and hits L with an inverted DDT! MM tags T1 back in.. C comes in with the weapon T1 ducks it.. C turns around into a pop up Samoan drop! C loses his weapon as T1 launches it down the entrance ramp! L hits an uppercut punch to T1 dazing him.. goes to whip T1 off the ropes.. MM manages to blind tag himself in as T1 ran by, L misses a clothesline..T1 with a discus clothesline but L ducks that but runs straight into the waiting MM who lifts him up for a flapjack and T1 runs behind and hits a bulldog flapjack combination they call M2!
MM with the cover.
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2.9...just as the 3 was going to land CT out from under the ring appears and pulls the referee out the referee yelling at CT.. as CT cleverly slides in the bat Maria. C has the bat...suddenly J and H appear, Jekyll attacks CT and Hyde grabs the bat from C hand.. C screaming at H then turns around who get's hit with Trainwreck by T1. MM removes L from the ring and T1 and MM hit C with M2 and T1 has the cover as the referee returns to the ring.
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3!
JC "The winners of the match, Maaaack Attaaack!!" Match Time: 7 mins 10 secs.
JPA "MM and T1 with a BIG win over C and L!"
TB " These guys are French arent they? You'd thinkt hey were irish by how lucky they keep getting with these so called victories!"
JPA " They won fair and square, in FACT it was C and L who tried multiple times to break the rules including CT who tried saving their asses here tonight, but J and H put a stop to the games!"
TB "Yeah what business do they have here, Allegiance is over!?"
JPA " Team Monster Mash are the one's celebrating in the ring right now I guess for now they are still well aligned."
TB " Well after the break, we get closer to Divine Appreciation and hear Kahuna answer Rob West's offer! Don't be fools and change the channel!"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::COMMERCIAL::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::We return straight into a clip, that features a debut promo from Evan Almighty at the inaugural SBCW show back in July 4th US Championship Battle Royal, where we see EA win the title.::
TB " How could we forget the night Evan Almighty in his DEBUT..won the US Championship and SAVED that title, the same title he remains in his possession upon his exit here tonight!"
JPA " Interesting, RW mentioned that something would be done regarding the championship, perhaps that is the responsibility of Kahuna if he accepts the GM role tonight?."
::CAMERA CUTS TO THE BACK::
Sacred Sam is seen walking backstage, but he feels as if someone is following him. He turns and sees various people standing around, forcibly acting as if they're minding their own business. Something smells fishy, but he ignores it, and turns to continue on his way. He walks toward the cameraman now, allowing us to see all the people who were previously occupied now following him with fire extinguishers. He turns unexpectedly, catching them all in the act and screams, "AHAAA!" Emily Everready; is at the head of the pack. "Noooo!" She screams, startled beyond belief and she sprays Sacred Sam with the fire extinguisher. Everyone stops to stare for a moment and everyone except Sam laughs. He then proceeds to shout, "SILENCE!" at the top of his lungs!
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" Geez..everyone's on edge around him... especially Emily, poor girl!"
TB "Poor Sam...he's covered in those chemicals...this is his final night here, he needs to look his best!"
TB " We are getting word Emily Everready is actually doing her job as she's standing by with Mack Attack!-Emily over to your sweet ass!?"
http://imgur.com/0JP2nt1 After Macks vs Symphony of Destruction EE interviews them, who stand by with Jekyll and Hyde. Monster Mack " Holy Craaap! Giiirl you look goooood tonightaaaa! " EE blushes "Macks tonight you had a very tough night against Chord and Legacy, but the real story is between you and Casey Taylor. We've seen the video we heard the challenge, do you think Casey Taylor will answer the challenge??" Monster Mack " Why don't you ask him?? I want Casey inside the cage..It's time Casey Taylor meets the Monster in this Mack.. Trainee you got something to say, man?" Trainee#1 "We're going to HAWAI'I, man I can't wait..but my day won't be all sunny as I have the unpleasant task of facing the returning Block Vender..he's a beast of a man, but I'm going to make the most of my first one on one match. Block head see ya in paradise mocha F...." Monster Mack " TRAINEE!!! You can't say stuff like that.." Slaps him in the back of the head. "See ya Emmie baby, See ya in Waikiki, and hope to see YOU in the cage Casey Taylor!"
Crave and Knight and Daye barge in on Monster Mack and Trainee#1
{Crave Knight Daye and The Genius staredown MM T1 J and H}
Crave snatches EE hand with the mic lifts it to his lips. Crave"you're times up Mucha Lucha..time for you little kids head back to the kiddie table while we ADULTS dine. "
MM T1 and J&H smile then entertain fighting..but then Jekyll speaks up.
Jekyll " Time is of the essence and you know what? We'll give you our time we a patient men.."
Hyde looks angry Jekyll " Well most of us, but we'll see you Wednesday at Beach FEST we'll get our licks in on Crave, Taylor Made, OH and we'll see you down the road CHUMPS...if you make it past Waikiki!"
They leave..
Crave "EE keep that mic steady... I got something Jive , Kahuna and Air Raid can feast on. You see Jive you and your Canadian Impact wannabes are going to get what you deserve. These guys beat Air Raid and they cry that they're not smart enough to do what the champs did.. Kahuna you nitwit nearly blew it and cost me my job..HH saved your Hawaiian ass.. so I repaid you back by destroying your knee at Allegiance.. so Kahuna use that pineapple you call a head and choose to be GM, hide ehind a desk, because I'll just put the old dog down behind the barn if you choose to stay in OUR ring! Truth is I don't NEED a Golden Ticket to get what I want, I went into the Gauntlet knowing I'd meet Jive and like I said I'd do I proved I was the better man and with my win over Jive I should be slated as the NEXT challenger to the Internet Championship and TAKE it from you Jive. Tonight we break you three down.. Wednesday we break you down even more with Casey Taylor and the World Champion Dark Doctor! It's no more Mr Nice Crave you fans want to boo me for doing what I said since day one I was here to do, then screw you all I no longer CRAVE your opinion, I am here for me, for money and for Gold and I'll take them all by any means necessary!"
Genius "Air Raid and Jive may have friends on the board of directors but despite your best efforts you'll never be as good as US!" Points to the champions.
The four men part away from Emily.
EE " Thank you...I guess?" Gives a disgusted look as they leave her to her own thoughts.
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TB "This Crave I like..wasnt a fan of contributing to the world losing Divine Intervention, but this Crave I can totally get behind. In this business if you're in ti for friends you'll never make it to the top.. Crave's on a mission for power and glory, and Jive better watch out! Same goes for Air Raid, Knight and Daye have embarrassed them enough times that they should learn to stay away from the champs!"
JPA " Well, we're moments away from seeing if Crave and The Tag Team Champions can back up their words! But don't go anywhere 6 MAN tag and DD and LC vs Kahuna and BL still ahead tonight!.See us in minutes"
:::::::::::::::::::::::COMMERCIAL::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
back from break we see another clip this time the debut of Sam and peter who aid EA in beating Yoshimbi, Jive, and Kahuna all in the same night.To remain US Champion.
Clip cuts live backstage with Perfect Peter backstage with a petition and a clipboard, going from dressing room to dressing room. "Hello would you like to sign this petition re-instate Divine Intervention?" "NO!" He knocks on another door, "Hello would you to--" "NO!" Another door... "AH, Lee-san, Konichiwah!" "ROOKA CHRISHEN MAN I NO RIKAH WHEN YOU WAKEH ME UP!"Then threatens to mist Peter, peter shields himself with the petition and moves on. And another door... "Yoshimbi," His face goes pale. "On second thought, I think I'll just..." he says, turning to leave, but Yoshimbi pulls him in shuts the door. Meanwhile outside Yoshimbi's room, Geno Blaze will walk down the hall and hear a high pitched scream, in which scares the hell out of him.
Moments later..PP is dashing out of the room his clothes torn as he screams running from the room.
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" OMG, Jerry do something! Poor peter..."
JPA " Um, not a chance! No way I'm going anywhere near where Yoshimbi might be tonight. Least we know Peter slipped away or it could have been a much more horrible for him. Perhaps for now we are headed to the back with Kahuna and The League of Nations are standing by!"
The Camera opens up in Kahuna's spacious dressing room in South Carolina. Kimona & Brock Lee are seated at a small table laughing, talking in Japanese and drinking Saki. Kahuna & JIVE are both on workout benches, lifting weights. JIVE watching the two drinking getting concerned.
JIVE "Kahuna, don't you think they are drinking a bit too much? you've got a Tag Team Match with Brock against Lord Chaos and The Dark Doctor. Shouldn't we cut them off and start sobering him up?"
Kahuna: "Are you kidding? This is the first night Kimona has had a chance to talk to somebody else who is Japanese since her father passed away. I'm not worried about her drinking. I've seen her outdrink "The Sandman" & "Stone Cold Steve Austin" in the same night and win a Dart Tournament to boot. Brock only drinks Saki because he was brought up in a Japanese Geisha House. He's been drinking just about all his life."
Emily is acting as Bartender and she'll know when to pump up Brock to get him ready.
Kahuna "I am not worried about them at all. I'm worried about Lord Chaos. He lost The Hardcore Title to Brock and he'll be more than likely to make a mistake because of his anger & rage and he may get his team disqualified, costing him & The Doctor a big payday, right before the show in Hawaii."
BROCK LEE " SAKI REAR GOOD! BROCK REE REAR GOOD. KAHUNA SAN REAR GOOD! KAHUNA-SAN and BROCK REE SAN GONNA KICK RORD CHAOSU AND DOCTOR DARK-SAN BUTTS!"
JIVE cracks a smile..
Kahuna adds" With all the hospital bills those 2 have had these past couple weeks, The Doctor will be more mad at His Lordship if he does something stupid. That is exactly what I'm counting on. One more thing in our favor is that Mr. West has also decreed that if anyone else other than Nurse Ratchet is seen in the Ringside area tonight, The Doctor will be stripped of The World Heavyweight Title. You should have seen the look on their faces when they heard. The 3 of them are treading on thin ice and they are lost without having all their tricks taken away." Besides, I've been fine tuning a new submission maneuver that not even Kimona can figure an escape for. "
JIVE " Those two aren't jabronis though, you got a lot to think about with the GM decision, you can't look past them bro. You gotta take them seriously. I mean they got nothing to lose in a tag team match, you want to be able to make it to your own wedding Big Daddy Kahuna!"
Kahuna's Cell Phone rings Kahuna: "Kahuna here...... yeah, he is.... Okay I'll tell him" (
hangs up)
"That was Angelica, she'd like you to pop over to AIR RAID's Locker room so you can work out with them & strategize a plan against Crave & co. You go ahead, everything is completely under control here."
JIVE: "Okay, K-Dawg, becareful out their, and good luck with your decision. Oh and don't forget the Bachelor Party tonight after the show!" JIVE leaves.
Kahuna: "As for The Doctor & The Lord...... Welcome to The LUU-OWWWW!" Camera fades to Black.
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JPA " A lot going on back there I can't believe Brock Lee and Kimona are drinking right now!"
TB " It explains a lot about Brock Lee! And I'd drink to if I was about to marry that Hawiian coconut!"
JPA "Be careful what you say he could be your GM."
TB "hehehe" nervously laughs with that realization " Perhaps I misspoke... he's a clever man I'm sure he'll make the best of GM's" Thumbs up to the camera and a wink.
JPA " I'm gonna vomit! Anyway when we return still ahead Crave and the Tag Team Champions team up to face Air Raid and the Internet Champion, Jive! Stay with us!?"
:::::::::::::::::COMMERICAL:::::::::::::
JPA " Welcome back and we're moments from 6 man tag team action. "
TB " I'm pumped for this!! However any word if O Peters ok?"
JPA "JPA "I haven't heard...then again i haven't asked! Before this match begins we shoot to Geno Blayze who's with The League of Nations Jive Clark, Siren and Angelica!"
and Air Raid are backstage outside the locker room with Geno Blayze.
GB "Thanks Jerry.. Yes I'm with Internet Champion Jive and #1contender to the Tag Team Titles, Air Raid with the lovely Angelica. Guys tonight the League of Nations faces Tag Champions Knight and Daye as they join forces with someone you know very well Jive..your old friend Crave..
Jive- "I was well aware that Allegiance would be the final time Crave and I would be fighting on the same side..what I didn't know was how low he'd go to to beat me..and I admit so allowed my judgment to be impaired when I grew some concern that Crave was seriously injured because up to that point we were putting on a very scientific back and fourth for the fans in my home town. I felt remorse and left myself open for Crave's deception and he caught me. Yes Crave you beat me but rest assured I'll never make that mistake again. Crave tonight will be just a sample of what's coming to you. In Waikiki you chose the wrong team to back and my Leaguers here, Bennett and Monster Mack are going to be in.paradise kicking your asses! You wanted my attention, you want this ( holds up the Internet title ) , you want to truly find out who the better man is then next SGSN you meet me face to face. Are you man enough?? With weddings all the talk these days I myself have a proposal for you...show up and meet your fate!" Siren signs to Angelica, and she interprets " Crave is teaming with a couple of cowards." Siren signs Angelica " and Air Raid will right the wrong from ALLEGIANCE!"
DC " we are going to beat you tonight and Wednesday at Beach Fest, we are gonna have all the League of Nations celebrate taking those belts away from Knight and Daye, and a wedding between Kimona and Kahuna, we'll have ourselves a Luau as only my friend Kahuna can throw."
GB " Well there you have it back to you guys, I can't wait for this match!"
League of Nations walk away
submitted by ScottyJive to SBCW [link] [comments]
The show broadcasts live to a live shot outside the arena. A black hearse, with various crosses as decals pulls up. Perfect Peter is driving with Sacred Sam riding shotgun. They get out and open the back and there is a coffin. They open it and Evan Almighty climbs out with his "Saved!" United States Title on his shoulder. Brock Lee is seen speaking with security. "I AM BROCA-REE, DO YOU NEE-AH-SEE MA I.REE?" "No way, man! You're good, you're good!" The security guard, immediately shakes hands with Brock Lee and bumps shoulders. "Congratulations on your title win, champ!" Brock Lee bow's his head and the security guard allows him to enter. As soon as he enters the guard immediately blocks Divine Intervention's path as soon as he sees them. Evan Almighty smiles back at Perfect Peter and Sacred Sam and raises his title in the guard's face. The guard crosses his arms and continues to wait patiently. "Open sesame!" Evan Almighty shouts, "Your champion, your savior demands entry!" "Perfect, just perfect..." Perfect Peter mumbles under his breath. "Let me just get out my I.D." "No need, you're not permitted to enter." He points to the sign beside him. "Can't you read, Authorized Personnel Only!" He says. "Surely you're mistaken," Peter responds, gesturing toward his companions and himself. "I get it. You must be new. Everyone else usually recognizes us..." "No I'm not new, in fact, I've been working here for 3 years." "There must be some type of list you can verify--" "No, no there isn't." "We're Divine Intervention, let us in!" Evan Almighty shouts losing his patience. "The only kind of intervention that's going to get you in the arena tonight is a supervisor's intervention." "Call him!" Evan Almighty shouts. "I am the supervisor." "SILENCE!" Sacred Sam shouts at the top of his lungs. "Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. Let us in, or I will burn the whole damn arena to the ground." "Are you threatening me?" He reaches for his radio, and Perfect Peter stops him. "That won't be necessary!" He frowns at Sacred Sam, and focuses back on Security. "I am Perfect Peter, he is Sacred Sam, and him over there, yes him, that is the Savior, Evan Almighty. We're wrestlers and this is, this is--" "Oh I know!" Someone shouts off camera, "This is the very last time we'll see you guys!" A familiar voice shouts, "Nanana, nanana, hey, hey, hey GOOD BYE!" Herbie Hughes circles around them as he plays his guitar. "Nanana, Nanana, hey, hey hey, Goodbye!" Evan Almighty's head lowers and Perfect Peter puts a hand on his shoulder, causing Evan to tremble. "E-Evan you're stronger than this, you're the savior!" "Don't ever let them see you cry, Evan!" Sacred Sam shouts. "Hey now, what's with all the long faces?" Herbie Hughes asks. "You guys may no longer be employed, but that doesn't mean we can't send you guys off in style, now come on. I mean, career threatening injury aside, we all used to get along at one point." Herbie Hughes looks at the guard, "Tonight these guys are with me, because tonight won't be any regular night, tonight is LIVE, baby! And it will be known worldwide as Divine Appreciation Night, and you three will be my honorary guests."
Then a graphic of ALLEGIANCE http://strikerfoundation.org/sites/default/files/images/AllegianceLogo.jpg airs on the screen, with the "official" Allegiance theme cutting out Prodigy...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfKBaf4A8s0
::Allegiance theme plays as we see clips from the Sold Out Amalie Arena packed to the brim as the clips show montage of what took place from Clockwork Orange, to the 2 out of 3 Falls controversial ending,to Brock Lee capturing the Hardcore Championship, to clips from Do or Die between The League of Impact and Divine Intervention, showing the crowd singing DI off to "Nanananana, Heeeey Heey Heeey Goodbye!" Then cuts to the First Blood match some of the action in that, Dark Doctor being busted open without the referee being conscious to see, then the shocking turn of Jaisen Wallace who aided in CB losing the First Blood Match, to Dark Doctor. Then we get a quick rundown of every entry member of the Gauntlet and who and how they were eliminated. See Kahuna about to be named the winner when Block Vander returned...and they see BV defeat Kahuna with Kimona throwing in the towel for him!::
Cuts back live and immediately sent to the broadcast team for tonight, it's Jerry "The Physique" Acuna and Thaddeus Buckswealth behind the desnk, as Joey Companyman is ring announcing tonight.
JPA "Welcome Multiverse to another fantastic night of action and a huge night where we will hear from The Kahuna himself regarding the offer made by Owner of SBCW Rob West, as he is basically given the run of the company to Kahuna as SBCW's General manager, tonight Kahuna has a huge choice to make, he can take the position, which will force him to walk away from in ring action OR he can remain an active member of the roster and turn down the opportunity to be SBCW's GM!? What are your thoughts on that Buckswealth?"
TB "Quite frankly, K would be a dope to turn down a chance to stop getting his ass kicked week in and week out and maybe have the abiliity to run SBCW pretty well..I mean when he had his week to run SBCW the place didn't go up in flames...so he's capable of providing entertaining shows..but is he smart enough to step away, and use this chance to cement his place in SBCW as the GM? Honestly...I think Kahuna IS a bit of a dope, and can't see him walking away from the ring."
JPA " It certainly is a dilemma for sure. He may also want to think about what's best for not just his body but for his new life, he's about to get married this Wednesday, in Waikiki to the beautiful Kimona."
TB" So, perhaps this is his time for him to take a break from action, be the GM, and concentrate on what's best for business AND pleasure!"
JPA " let's not forget what we jsut witnessed before the show officially began. Divine Intervention who LOST at Allegiance to the League of Impact, are in the building as, surprse surprise the guest of Herbie Hughes?"
TB " Well, that security guard should be fired on the spot, the blantant disrespect he shown the US Champion and DI. Tonight DI may be in their final arena as part of SBCW, and what a way to send off these heroes to the masses by way of a tribute to them with a night of Divine Appreciation. HH was right about that! As history has told us though, you can never trust HH and his true intentions...I'm just not buying this "let bygone be bygone's" charade. Something's up!"
JPA "We shall see, but in the meantime we are going to show you a clip, from earlier in the week from Monster Mack as he was cleaning up the mess left behind in his wrestling school, by The Taylor Made Alliance last week. Take a look at this.."
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CAMERA FILMING INSIDE MMU. CAMERA CAPTURES MONSTER WASHING OFF THE GRAFFITI. WE SEE TRAINEES CLEANING UP THE TRASH, AND OTHERS TRYING TO FIX THE EQUIPMENT.
Monster Mack
" As bad as Taylor and Symphony of Destruction, trashed my school, now looking at it with a cooler head I cine to realize this spray paint, the trash, the dents..they are all temporary, I can wash off the paint, clean up the trash, and fix the dents or replace damaged material. YOU know what is permanent... SCARS!! SCARS that I wish to conflict on Chord, Legacy and especially Casey Taylor!!"
CAMERA CUTS AWAY THEN WE SEE MONSTER MACK IN THE LOCKER ROOM REPLACING THE LOCKERS.
Monster Mack
" The attack on my school was a personal attack..and while I did make light of Casey Taylor, and played ribs on him, it was never with malicious intent..But now that I've been attacked personally..and beaten physically at Allegiance, I am not done with getting my licks in."
CLIP CUTS TO MONSTER MACK OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL WALKING ALONG SIDE THE FENCE ALONG THE SCHOOL AND IS RUNNING HIS HAND ALONG IT.
Monster Mack
" After those three effected my run in the Gauntlet I'm ready to Get malicious and it starts in paradise. In Hawai'i as part of Cameron Bennett's team, I'll get my hands on those three as well my pals Jekyll and Hyde. But that's not enough...I want Casey Taylor one on one ONE LAST TIME! I want no outside forces effecting this match I want you Casey Taylor inside of a STEEL CAGE!! And when I get you inside the confides of a cage I will have malicious intent..I will show you west happens when you get person and impact my livelihood I know impact your life, your face, your body!! You will be left bloodied bruised and SCARRED! And while this school will thrive and appear just as it I've had if not better, that YOU Casey, will be left with SCARS to remind you that time you didn't tangle with a Mack but you were destroyed by The Monster! "
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TB " Taylor Made really did a number on that circus of Monster Mack's...but I don't know how wise it is for Monster Mack to approach an idea of putting Casey Taylor in the Cage with him, I mean Casey Taylor did a number on MM at Allegiance not only defeating MM in the Clockwork ORange Funhouse, but then the Taylor Made Alliance left MM beaten down during the Gauntlet. CT is no joke, we've learned what he's capable of when he's disrespected, does MM really want a guy like that locked ina c age...I think it's a poor decision on Mack's part...the more violent these matches get the more it seems to favor CT."
http://youtu.be/5A3DB7SghdA Fans pop out of their seats at the music of The Monster Mack Show, as they come out to a huge ovation in the Colonial Life Arena.
JC " The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall, introducing first..."
MM and t1 come out, in new T Shirts http://i822.photobucket.com/albums/zz150/ORlyYaRlyNoWai/MackAttack.jpg sporting their new Tag Team T Shirt..they come on full of energy as they interact with the audience slapping hands and holding up supportive signs.
JC " They are Monster Mack and Trainee#1, they are now collectively known as Mmmmack Attaaack!"
JPA "Maybe so, but remember Monster Mack has beaten CT twice already, he beat him in the Bat on a Pole and ina Lumberjack Match. Monster Mack also defeated all three members in the Gauntlet as he pinned Legacy twice beat Chord twice, and CT lost by DQ in the Gauntlet to MM so Allegiance certainly showed MM is very much capable of defeating ANY of The Taylor Made Alliance no matter the match!"
MM grabs a mic
Monster Mack " Face me in the cage, Taylor, grow some balls and answer my challenge..."
CT does not appear instead out comes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w0ZRYywReo Symphony of Destruction make there way down to the ring..sporting there Taylor made Alliance attire from Allegiance still, they appear without Casey Taylor.
TB " Mack should be focused at the dangerous task at hand as these guys are ready and willing to put a hurting on these circus freaks!"
JPA " Circus freaks call them clowns...call them what you will, but what they ARE they are GOOD! We seen how good MM has been sicne arriving, we get to see T1 in the ring for the first time in SBCW teaming with Monster Mack here tonight, as Mack Attack, know very well how dangerous these two are."
JC " There opponents, Chord and Legacy, the Symphony of Deeeeestruction!"
C and L, climb on to the ring apron death stares to Mack Attack. MM and T1 waving them to come on in. C puts down his boiling hot water bucket and places his lead sprinkler in side. C and L remove there jackets then toss them in MM and T1 face..as they rush inside and start pounding on the two luchadores! C and L taken full advantage...the referee calls for the bell..
}}} DING DING DING {{{
C and L continue beating on the two stomping away on the two on the ground. C calls L over and the two start double teaming Monster Mack they toss MM over the top rope. The two then concentrates on T1 who briefly comes out of the corner swinging..connecting a few shots to both L and C before they both boot T1 in the gut then together drive T1 shoulder first into the steel post. Referee struggling to maintain order already, as he tries tog et one to leave. C finally does, and L covers T1.
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only gets 2. L grabs T1 in an armbar. T fights back to his feet and breaks the hold hitting L with a drop toe hold then rolls over L and snatches a side headlock! L with some elbow shots as he tries brekaing the headlock..he shoots T1 off the ropes but gets hit with a shoulder block.. T1 keeps running L goes for a hip toss..T1 revereses, L tries reversing it back, and T1 with a final revesal and hip tossing L over the top rope. T1 manages to make the tag to MM who's now on the apron. MM after the tag runs on the aprona nd hits a somersault to L. MM sends L back into the ring. Acends the ropes..C tries to intervene but MM see's him coming and boots C in the mouth. L tries to take advantage of the distraction climbing up looking for a superplex. MM holds on then couple of midsection shots before headbutting L off the top rope. L stands back up.. MM dives off.. L ducks the cross body..but MM manages to transition to a diving school boy.
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L pops up..goes for a clothesline, MM snatches thw arm spins hima round and hits a double arm DDT. Cover.
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C breaks it up. MM brings L into his corner tags T1 back in. T1 and MM hit L with a double hiptoss they catch L legs coming over then launches him high into the air into a stereo side slam. Tz covers.
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C again breaks up the pin attempt.
T1 back with a side headlock..L fights to his feet tries shooting T1 off but T1 holds onto the head. L forces T1 into the corner forcing a break. as the refereee breaks the two out of the corner..L guages the eyes of T1..then dropkicks T1 in the shoulder. L sends T1 off the ropes, it's reveresed and T1 hits a calf kick. T1 turns around and C grabs the arm and drops it across the top rope as C jumps off the apron. L capitalizes and hits T1 with a single arm breaker! Shoots the half.
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t1 kicks out. L grabs the arm and holds it as C tags himself in.. C headbutts the shoulder several times before draping it over the ropes and then starts pulling on the arm from under the top rope as C places his foot on the shoulder for added pressure. Referee counts to get C to release. 1...2..3..4..4.5! C nearly gets DQed before he breaks off his assault. L tags back in C holds the arm as L comes off the top rope with a diving knee to the shoulder. rolls T1 up as he was doubled over favoring his arm.
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T1 kicks out.. turns straight intoa dropkick to the shoulder. Another cover.
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T1 still alive. L places T1 in a hammer lock on the ground, cranking the arm! Lifts up his legs in the air then drives them back down delivering a devastating knee to the hammerlocked arm! T1 rolls out of the hammerlock..but L maintains controll of the arm.. has the armlock in.. T1 connects with a few forearm shots shoots L off the ropes looks for a back body drop but L counters as T1 telegraphs it and kicks him stiff in the arm..then clothesline T1 to the mat. L tags out to C who starts mercilessly stomping the hell out of T1's arm. Then spits at MM who tries coming in..as the referee is distracted L and C both in the ring continue beating down T1. Referee turns around to see L covering T1.
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Only gets 2! L grills the referee as he is getting frustrated. L puts T1 back in Symphony of Destruction's corner. C tagged back in L holding T1 in the corner, C goes to irishwhip L into T1 in the corner and L leaps up to hit Double knees to the corner.. T1 manages to evade it sending L knee first into the corner and falling over the top to the floor. C goes for a boot, T catches it spins C aroaund and hits a discus clothesline to C. T1 goes down as C rolls to the floor... T1 manages to crawl closer to his corner then forward rolls to get to his corner and makes the TAG!!
HOT TAG!
MM comes right in and dives at C and L who are trying to help each other to their feet only to be hit my MM's Suicide Dive! MM tosses L back into..hits a diving crossbody off the top rope. C slides back in but is met with some jabs by MM, C with a clothesline attempt MM ducks it delivers a stiff forearm shot rocking C to the turnbuckle. L is back up goes for a kick..MM grabs it.. MM flicks his hand under his chin at L before he spins him around...as C is about to ambush MM from behind, L tries to hit MM with a Dragon whip, but MM ducks it and L hits C instead. C rolls to the outside.. L trying to apologize, Monster Mack with school boy into the Fender Bender locked in!! Referee checking on L as he struggle to get to the ropes. MM pulls L away from the ropes and sits back down locking it deep! L raises his hand about to TAP? C grabs the Lead Sprinkler from the boiling water bucket. Starts climbing up the stairs to use it the referee is warning C not to use the weapon! MM releases the hold as he see's C. L takes advantage low blows MM from behind! L goes to pick up MM from behind looking to hit the Beat Drop.. MM rolls through it and hits L with an inverted DDT! MM tags T1 back in.. C comes in with the weapon T1 ducks it.. C turns around into a pop up Samoan drop! C loses his weapon as T1 launches it down the entrance ramp! L hits an uppercut punch to T1 dazing him.. goes to whip T1 off the ropes.. MM manages to blind tag himself in as T1 ran by, L misses a clothesline..T1 with a discus clothesline but L ducks that but runs straight into the waiting MM who lifts him up for a flapjack and T1 runs behind and hits a bulldog flapjack combination they call M2!
MM with the cover.
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2.9...just as the 3 was going to land CT out from under the ring appears and pulls the referee out the referee yelling at CT.. as CT cleverly slides in the bat Maria. C has the bat...suddenly J and H appear, Jekyll attacks CT and Hyde grabs the bat from C hand.. C screaming at H then turns around who get's hit with Trainwreck by T1. MM removes L from the ring and T1 and MM hit C with M2 and T1 has the cover as the referee returns to the ring.
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3!
JC "The winners of the match, Maaaack Attaaack!!" Match Time: 7 mins 10 secs.
JPA "MM and T1 with a BIG win over C and L!"
TB " These guys are French arent they? You'd thinkt hey were irish by how lucky they keep getting with these so called victories!"
JPA " They won fair and square, in FACT it was C and L who tried multiple times to break the rules including CT who tried saving their asses here tonight, but J and H put a stop to the games!"
TB "Yeah what business do they have here, Allegiance is over!?"
JPA " Team Monster Mash are the one's celebrating in the ring right now I guess for now they are still well aligned."
TB " Well after the break, we get closer to Divine Appreciation and hear Kahuna answer Rob West's offer! Don't be fools and change the channel!"
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::We return straight into a clip, that features a debut promo from Evan Almighty at the inaugural SBCW show back in July 4th US Championship Battle Royal, where we see EA win the title.::
TB " How could we forget the night Evan Almighty in his DEBUT..won the US Championship and SAVED that title, the same title he remains in his possession upon his exit here tonight!"
JPA " Interesting, RW mentioned that something would be done regarding the championship, perhaps that is the responsibility of Kahuna if he accepts the GM role tonight?."
::CAMERA CUTS TO THE BACK::
Sacred Sam is seen walking backstage, but he feels as if someone is following him. He turns and sees various people standing around, forcibly acting as if they're minding their own business. Something smells fishy, but he ignores it, and turns to continue on his way. He walks toward the cameraman now, allowing us to see all the people who were previously occupied now following him with fire extinguishers. He turns unexpectedly, catching them all in the act and screams, "AHAAA!" Emily Everready; is at the head of the pack. "Noooo!" She screams, startled beyond belief and she sprays Sacred Sam with the fire extinguisher. Everyone stops to stare for a moment and everyone except Sam laughs. He then proceeds to shout, "SILENCE!" at the top of his lungs!
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" Geez..everyone's on edge around him... especially Emily, poor girl!"
TB "Poor Sam...he's covered in those chemicals...this is his final night here, he needs to look his best!"
TB " We are getting word Emily Everready is actually doing her job as she's standing by with Mack Attack!-Emily over to your sweet ass!?"
http://imgur.com/0JP2nt1 After Macks vs Symphony of Destruction EE interviews them, who stand by with Jekyll and Hyde. Monster Mack " Holy Craaap! Giiirl you look goooood tonightaaaa! " EE blushes "Macks tonight you had a very tough night against Chord and Legacy, but the real story is between you and Casey Taylor. We've seen the video we heard the challenge, do you think Casey Taylor will answer the challenge??" Monster Mack " Why don't you ask him?? I want Casey inside the cage..It's time Casey Taylor meets the Monster in this Mack.. Trainee you got something to say, man?" Trainee#1 "We're going to HAWAI'I, man I can't wait..but my day won't be all sunny as I have the unpleasant task of facing the returning Block Vender..he's a beast of a man, but I'm going to make the most of my first one on one match. Block head see ya in paradise mocha F...." Monster Mack " TRAINEE!!! You can't say stuff like that.." Slaps him in the back of the head. "See ya Emmie baby, See ya in Waikiki, and hope to see YOU in the cage Casey Taylor!"
Crave and Knight and Daye barge in on Monster Mack and Trainee#1
{Crave Knight Daye and The Genius staredown MM T1 J and H}
Crave snatches EE hand with the mic lifts it to his lips. Crave"you're times up Mucha Lucha..time for you little kids head back to the kiddie table while we ADULTS dine. "
MM T1 and J&H smile then entertain fighting..but then Jekyll speaks up.
Jekyll " Time is of the essence and you know what? We'll give you our time we a patient men.."
Hyde looks angry Jekyll " Well most of us, but we'll see you Wednesday at Beach FEST we'll get our licks in on Crave, Taylor Made, OH and we'll see you down the road CHUMPS...if you make it past Waikiki!"
They leave..
Crave "EE keep that mic steady... I got something Jive , Kahuna and Air Raid can feast on. You see Jive you and your Canadian Impact wannabes are going to get what you deserve. These guys beat Air Raid and they cry that they're not smart enough to do what the champs did.. Kahuna you nitwit nearly blew it and cost me my job..HH saved your Hawaiian ass.. so I repaid you back by destroying your knee at Allegiance.. so Kahuna use that pineapple you call a head and choose to be GM, hide ehind a desk, because I'll just put the old dog down behind the barn if you choose to stay in OUR ring! Truth is I don't NEED a Golden Ticket to get what I want, I went into the Gauntlet knowing I'd meet Jive and like I said I'd do I proved I was the better man and with my win over Jive I should be slated as the NEXT challenger to the Internet Championship and TAKE it from you Jive. Tonight we break you three down.. Wednesday we break you down even more with Casey Taylor and the World Champion Dark Doctor! It's no more Mr Nice Crave you fans want to boo me for doing what I said since day one I was here to do, then screw you all I no longer CRAVE your opinion, I am here for me, for money and for Gold and I'll take them all by any means necessary!"
Genius "Air Raid and Jive may have friends on the board of directors but despite your best efforts you'll never be as good as US!" Points to the champions.
The four men part away from Emily.
EE " Thank you...I guess?" Gives a disgusted look as they leave her to her own thoughts.
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TB "This Crave I like..wasnt a fan of contributing to the world losing Divine Intervention, but this Crave I can totally get behind. In this business if you're in ti for friends you'll never make it to the top.. Crave's on a mission for power and glory, and Jive better watch out! Same goes for Air Raid, Knight and Daye have embarrassed them enough times that they should learn to stay away from the champs!"
JPA " Well, we're moments away from seeing if Crave and The Tag Team Champions can back up their words! But don't go anywhere 6 MAN tag and DD and LC vs Kahuna and BL still ahead tonight!.See us in minutes"
:::::::::::::::::::::::COMMERCIAL::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
back from break we see another clip this time the debut of Sam and peter who aid EA in beating Yoshimbi, Jive, and Kahuna all in the same night.To remain US Champion.
Clip cuts live backstage with Perfect Peter backstage with a petition and a clipboard, going from dressing room to dressing room. "Hello would you like to sign this petition re-instate Divine Intervention?" "NO!" He knocks on another door, "Hello would you to--" "NO!" Another door... "AH, Lee-san, Konichiwah!" "ROOKA CHRISHEN MAN I NO RIKAH WHEN YOU WAKEH ME UP!"Then threatens to mist Peter, peter shields himself with the petition and moves on. And another door... "Yoshimbi," His face goes pale. "On second thought, I think I'll just..." he says, turning to leave, but Yoshimbi pulls him in shuts the door. Meanwhile outside Yoshimbi's room, Geno Blaze will walk down the hall and hear a high pitched scream, in which scares the hell out of him.
Moments later..PP is dashing out of the room his clothes torn as he screams running from the room.
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" OMG, Jerry do something! Poor peter..."
JPA " Um, not a chance! No way I'm going anywhere near where Yoshimbi might be tonight. Least we know Peter slipped away or it could have been a much more horrible for him. Perhaps for now we are headed to the back with Kahuna and The League of Nations are standing by!"
The Camera opens up in Kahuna's spacious dressing room in South Carolina. Kimona & Brock Lee are seated at a small table laughing, talking in Japanese and drinking Saki. Kahuna & JIVE are both on workout benches, lifting weights. JIVE watching the two drinking getting concerned.
JIVE "Kahuna, don't you think they are drinking a bit too much? you've got a Tag Team Match with Brock against Lord Chaos and The Dark Doctor. Shouldn't we cut them off and start sobering him up?"
Kahuna: "Are you kidding? This is the first night Kimona has had a chance to talk to somebody else who is Japanese since her father passed away. I'm not worried about her drinking. I've seen her outdrink "The Sandman" & "Stone Cold Steve Austin" in the same night and win a Dart Tournament to boot. Brock only drinks Saki because he was brought up in a Japanese Geisha House. He's been drinking just about all his life."
Emily is acting as Bartender and she'll know when to pump up Brock to get him ready.
Kahuna "I am not worried about them at all. I'm worried about Lord Chaos. He lost The Hardcore Title to Brock and he'll be more than likely to make a mistake because of his anger & rage and he may get his team disqualified, costing him & The Doctor a big payday, right before the show in Hawaii."
BROCK LEE " SAKI REAR GOOD! BROCK REE REAR GOOD. KAHUNA SAN REAR GOOD! KAHUNA-SAN and BROCK REE SAN GONNA KICK RORD CHAOSU AND DOCTOR DARK-SAN BUTTS!"
JIVE cracks a smile..
Kahuna adds" With all the hospital bills those 2 have had these past couple weeks, The Doctor will be more mad at His Lordship if he does something stupid. That is exactly what I'm counting on. One more thing in our favor is that Mr. West has also decreed that if anyone else other than Nurse Ratchet is seen in the Ringside area tonight, The Doctor will be stripped of The World Heavyweight Title. You should have seen the look on their faces when they heard. The 3 of them are treading on thin ice and they are lost without having all their tricks taken away." Besides, I've been fine tuning a new submission maneuver that not even Kimona can figure an escape for. "
JIVE " Those two aren't jabronis though, you got a lot to think about with the GM decision, you can't look past them bro. You gotta take them seriously. I mean they got nothing to lose in a tag team match, you want to be able to make it to your own wedding Big Daddy Kahuna!"
Kahuna's Cell Phone rings Kahuna: "Kahuna here...... yeah, he is.... Okay I'll tell him" (
hangs up)
"That was Angelica, she'd like you to pop over to AIR RAID's Locker room so you can work out with them & strategize a plan against Crave & co. You go ahead, everything is completely under control here."
JIVE: "Okay, K-Dawg, becareful out their, and good luck with your decision. Oh and don't forget the Bachelor Party tonight after the show!" JIVE leaves.
Kahuna: "As for The Doctor & The Lord...... Welcome to The LUU-OWWWW!" Camera fades to Black.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
JPA " A lot going on back there I can't believe Brock Lee and Kimona are drinking right now!"
TB " It explains a lot about Brock Lee! And I'd drink to if I was about to marry that Hawiian coconut!"
JPA "Be careful what you say he could be your GM."
TB "hehehe" nervously laughs with that realization " Perhaps I misspoke... he's a clever man I'm sure he'll make the best of GM's" Thumbs up to the camera and a wink.
JPA " I'm gonna vomit! Anyway when we return still ahead Crave and the Tag Team Champions team up to face Air Raid and the Internet Champion, Jive! Stay with us!?"
:::::::::::::::::COMMERICAL:::::::::::::
JPA " Welcome back and we're moments from 6 man tag team action. "
TB " I'm pumped for this!! However any word if O Peters ok?"
JPA "JPA "I haven't heard...then again i haven't asked! Before this match begins we shoot to Geno Blayze who's with The League of Nations Jive Clark, Siren and Angelica!"
and Air Raid are backstage outside the locker room with Geno Blayze.
GB "Thanks Jerry.. Yes I'm with Internet Champion Jive and #1contender to the Tag Team Titles, Air Raid with the lovely Angelica. Guys tonight the League of Nations faces Tag Champions Knight and Daye as they join forces with someone you know very well Jive..your old friend Crave..
Jive- "I was well aware that Allegiance would be the final time Crave and I would be fighting on the same side..what I didn't know was how low he'd go to to beat me..and I admit so allowed my judgment to be impaired when I grew some concern that Crave was seriously injured because up to that point we were putting on a very scientific back and fourth for the fans in my home town. I felt remorse and left myself open for Crave's deception and he caught me. Yes Crave you beat me but rest assured I'll never make that mistake again. Crave tonight will be just a sample of what's coming to you. In Waikiki you chose the wrong team to back and my Leaguers here, Bennett and Monster Mack are going to be in.paradise kicking your asses! You wanted my attention, you want this ( holds up the Internet title ) , you want to truly find out who the better man is then next SGSN you meet me face to face. Are you man enough?? With weddings all the talk these days I myself have a proposal for you...show up and meet your fate!" Siren signs to Angelica, and she interprets " Crave is teaming with a couple of cowards." Siren signs Angelica " and Air Raid will right the wrong from ALLEGIANCE!"
DC " we are going to beat you tonight and Wednesday at Beach Fest, we are gonna have all the League of Nations celebrate taking those belts away from Knight and Daye, and a wedding between Kimona and Kahuna, we'll have ourselves a Luau as only my friend Kahuna can throw."
GB " Well there you have it back to you guys, I can't wait for this match!"
League of Nations walk away
2012.03.05 03:14 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: was a pro cheerleader/ice girl for NHL team...AMA
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Date: 2012-03-04
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Last updated: 2012-03-08 20:26 UTC
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submitted by tabledresser to tabled [link] [comments]
Date: 2012-03-04
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| Questions | Answers |
|---|---|
| Shaved? Bang any players? | Why yes i did.... |
| Did he pass you around to teammates? | No but it was so hush hush. most of them try to though. one of the girls did fool around with one to try to get to the one she really wanted. she didn't make the team the next season bc of it. |
| Did he give you expensive gifts? Any anchor babies? Are they into weird sexual things like physical abuse? | Actually no contrary to popular belief....those are the NFL players. they like to go out and get hammered. it is very imtimidating being with someone that it insanely tall and those legs my God those legs..... |
| Was anal in the mix? | I was too young and wasn't into it nope... however there was one that was married and i had no idea. |
| Thought so. | I am next to the tiger tho... |
| $40 a game? What is your second job? | Ahhh Hooters lol but it was within walking distance of the arena so it was perfect for whenever there was a game that night. |
| It didn't make you mad that you made nowhere near enough to live off while the industry you worked in had millions and millions? | No it was a really humbling experience to be part of that world. seeing how ppl idolize them so much |
| Were you a lightning girl? | Yes. |
| Is there lots of aspiring puckbunnies? | Yes and then they find out that you have to know how to skate. that shit is hilarious; watching the most beautiful girl struggle on ice they wait in the parking lot for the players to come out. |
| When was the last time you partied in Ybor city? | When i turned 21.... then i grew up. |
| You mean threw up? | Im not bulimic anymore but thanks; im going to sing no woman no cry in the corner now. |
| Spit or swallow? | I don't like messes. |
| That's Correct | That IS correct. |
| I know Edmonton got them like 2 years ago. Some people had a fit about it. I have noticed some of the southern US teams have "Ice Girls" (Dallas, Florida etc.). I always thought it would be a cool job! Do you travel with the team? | No we didnt travel, however if we did want to go to an away game we would just pay our way but we got suite tickets. philly fans are pretty brutal. |
| Since I knew what hockey was (except for a brief period of insanity where I loved the Kings; what can I say? I had to follow the great one). | I met him and there was a picture taken with him; where that picture is now i have no idea :( |
| Who was the nicest player on the team? | They are all pretty nice and down to earth but lecavalier was the nicest to me. he always acknowledged me and asked how things were going when i would run into him |
| What about Stamkos, was he a nice guy? Were you with the team when Downie played? I hate the way Downie plays on the nice, seems like he's a bit of jerk. Is he an asshole off the ice? | I was on the team from 03-05 so i think he was prob on the teams minor league the guys who seem like "jerks" just don't really talk that much bc their English is bad. I always wanted to meet Dany Heatley bc he would walked around in his suit and play with his retainer that has his fake teeth haha. |
| How did you get the job? | My best friend and i auditioned for NFL and we totally froze during our dance. then i heard about it on the radio and tried out. in the end im glad i didnt make the NFL team. hockey has 40 home games so i actually made good friends bc we spent so much time together. |
| How many girls saw this job as a stepping stone to getting a wealthy man in to their clutches? | With hockey the mentality is different i can NFL as being more of the stepping stone. there was one who did sleep with a few that wasn't so secret to try to get herself to get the rich guy. she got booted. it's rare someone gets booted but one did because she was a little chunky. |
| How often were girls booted off and replaced? | I mean a few of us hooked up with the players but we kept our mouths shut and she didn't so it was pretty obvious |
| You worked at hooters and as a cheerleader - two jobs dependent on your hawtness. What was it like doing this? Did you ever feel uncomfortably objectified? Was a line ever crossed with a customefan? | Never and if there was i ignored it. the women were the mean ones. working at hooters was cool; i was accepted even though i didn't have hooters haha. |
| *the women were the mean ones. * How so? | Making fun of us...calling us sluts and sayin we were fat. you see we complain about the image thing so bad yet they are so quick to judge on women like us. |
| Hurricanes ice girl. Am I right? | No lighting in tampa |
| You're Canadian. | Actually im puerto rican. |
| Did you bang Stamkos? That would be awesome. Or was this earlier than that? | Way earlier and not my type i was there 03-05. |
| I take it one of these girls is you? (If so which one?) Also why did they dress you up as slutty Santa Clause? Was there a lot of changes in the costumes or was that your standard clothing for every game? | That was our Christmas get up...i hated that thing. we had 2 uniforms one for the ice and one for the stands. then they would change to something new the next season. the ref top was my favorite. we were allowed to dress up for Halloween too so that was cool. |
| As a man that tends to blackout in the balcony, I always find it interesting to hit on the ice girls when they walk around. So, Q: How often do you get hit on a game? And also have you ever given a fan your number (while you were working)? | We got hit on a lot and then again the ppl would talk shit as well. it was always fun, never gave my number during work but there was an outdoor bar at the arena where we would hang out sometimes afterwards and the creepers would be there. |
| If a guy hits on you and is rather attractive does this make him not a creeper? or does creeper only attribute to the creepy style of advance? | Its the way you say that makes you a creeper. |
| What's the policy with interaction with players? | We would go to local bars after the games and they would just happen to be there so we would get drunk with them a lot |
| How about fans? If an attractive fan asked you out, are you actually able to say yes? | One of the girls did get married to a fan. |
| Any funny/ awkward embarrassing moments? | Too many: i think the best one was when we had to race back to our locker rooms right after we skated to change. we had our skate guards on and as i was running full speed my lace on my left skate got caught on the right skate. couldn't take another step fell flat on my face in front of a player when he was coming out of the locker room. panties in full view another....one of the girls fell while skating. she looked up at me to help her and i just kept skating. i din't want to fall trying to help her up. looking back that was really mean. |
| Who was the player? | Nolan pratt...that mofo. |
| What was your most embarrassing moment as an ice girl? | The mascot hosed me down as a prank on the ice. |
| I'll take five! | Those guys worked hard. |
| I always hoped that women in professions like this were well rounded and intelligent. What type of people did you end up working with? How many were of the stereotypical "shallow pretty person" description? | Surprisingly there was only one that i didnt really like but i faked it and was nice anyway becausshe was the stereotype. there were a few that weren't that smart and we joked around with them and they never understood what we were making fun of them for. |
| Any funny locker room stories? | Not really in the locker room...the funny stuff happened out in public. i remember accidently burning a hole in my uniform when i was drying it with a hairdryer bc i wasn't paying attention. we would also run in and out of our locker room in our bra and panties bc our room was right next to theirs. |
| Would be nice to get a picture of u holding a sign that says reddit ama or smtn.. these pictures u posted , really dont confirm much :) .. but anyway im sure being good looking alters someones personality,and add being a cheerleader and having men hit on u on a daily basis to the mix , did any of the dancers u worked with take it too far? like being extremely bitchy and actin completely like they own the world?? | Well for me i was the ugly duckling so it was a confusing time when guys would ask me out. i dont remember anyone being bitchy. however one guy did point out my teammates stomach while she was on the ice and she made the small penis gesture to him which was pretty awesome. |
| Do you like hockey? | At the time yes...couldn't get enough of it. it was very emotional when the guys won the cup. we were there EVERY game and some away games. i live in NC now so there's nothing really to follow and noone to follow it with :( |
| Really? How can you not have love for the Hurricanes? | I don't want to watch it anymore if i am not a part of it; hope that makes sense. |
| What do you do now? | I just left my ballroom dancing job and went into real estate. i also work at an indoor skydiving place on the weekends for fun and extra pay. |
| What did you think of Martin St Louis (I awlays like to see the short guys rip it up in the league)? | Such an awesome guy! during a golf tournament one season one of the girls put a large wood block on his pedal for the golf cart so he could reach the pedals. he would call us the golden dinosaurs since we were sponsored by this jewelry store called gold and diamond source. |
| Will you marry me? | How much money do you make? sorry had to do it; stigma of the cheerleader thing going on here. |
| Steffi Graf, is that you? | Steffi graf sounds like zach braff. |
| How did you perform on ice? | During commerical breaks, we shoveled snow, between each period we did something and we mostly performed in the stands. they are really strict about toepicking the ice. |
| Ready are you? What know you of ready? | Ready i know not to buckle under pressure here. |
| My right or your right? | Nice try. |
| You single? ;) | No |
| Meaning from Reddit;s end. | Imgur |
| Where do cheerleaders hang out? | I think cheerleaders hang out with all the tall and smart and fun ppl hang out! if the arena is downtown we will be at a bar near there after the games. TOP SECRET: usually an arena has a restaurant/bar and in the kitchen there is an elevator where the staff goes down to deliver food. whenever the game is over cheerleaders will magically emerge in that bar from the kitchen. give us at least half an hour after the game is over bc we wanna take off our ridiculous caked on makeup! |
| The NHL has cheerleaders? | Yes ice girls. |
| Aw why are you nervous? | I don't know why....ahh the pressure!! |
| How long have you been ice skating? Also, do you still follow the lightning, or do you follow other teams? | I don't follow hockey anymore and as far as the ice skating, since i was young but there aren't any rinks close to me so i haven't skated in a few years. |
| Worst pickup line you've heard? | You have nice ears so you would look great bald. |
| Did players ever say anything to you? what were cool parts of your job? iv heard the ice girls for the blackhawks are forbidden to speak to players was this true for you? | Yes forbidden but we did anyway. we always ended up being at the same bar or something. i mean you saw them twice a week at least at games. there was no way that some form on communication couldnt be made. |
| They are useless but it's more conventional and accepted as an NFL thing. I don't HATE cheerleaders I just don't see their purpose. In college football they actually do lead cheers. So I get it. In hockey, they do what exactly? Dance in sections between plays? Shovel the ice during TV time outs? It doesn't make sense. | Yes and yes and we did a lot of work with charity events. i got to see how the town/city lacked in the involvement of anything good like that. hockey isn't really that big in the south as you so a lot of the ppl that go to hockey games aren't really fans so we tried to get them pumped up and give them a reason to go to the games. don't u remember 2004 when EVERYONE was a lightning fan?? where are they now? |
| Don't worry about redditors who don't believe you.. They only will if you put up pictures with your tits hanging out! Anyway, so what do you do now for a living? Do you think about going back into cheerleading? Any sex scenes in the locker room that you have witnessed? | Thanks chaz...anyway i just started my career in real estate. im working the corporate side of things for now until i get enough experience to actually know what the f im talking about when it comes to that. i also work at an indoor skydiving tunnel on the weekends. i always wanted to get back into it however its too far of a drive that its not worth it |
| Do you know Veritas? | Yes i do...he's my favorite that bastard never gets of swtor...u are stealing him! |
| As a lifelong Detroit fan, I have to ask, being a Lightning girl, did you get a chance to meet with Steve Yzerman at all? | Took a picture with Gretzsky that is it. i think we played Detriot once at our rink |
| Bc they are consistently terrible...? | No bc reddit takes up most of my time. |
| Ever had your team do so poorly the fans cheered for you instead of the team? GO BOLTS! | Hahaha yes ! the most awesome time for me was when i was lipsyncing to sweet caroline and it came up on the jumbotron....EVERYONE sang along...never forget :) |
| You're adorable. However, you look ridiculously familiar... which team were your a ice girl for? | Lightning. |
| How many players did you bang? | Hmm... |
| So? | She bang, she bang....love that guy. |
| Have you ever hooked up with another girl? | Backed out...too weird not my thing. |
| Tampa bay lighting, 2004? | Si. |
| Go bolts!! The only good thing about lightning ice girls is watching them trying to skate. Did they make you dance on the ice when you were with the team? | No because they were afraid we would toepick the ice which i did one take being a fool before game. |
| I'm disappointed..... | Me 2. |
| Use punctuation, woman! | Noted :) |
| Dear god.... | No bueno?? this was years ago btw. |
| Hook me up with both of them. | They were tweedle dee and tweedle dum. i could never carry on a full convo with either of them. |
| Odds are astronomical. | Well i must have the brains then. |
| CANUCKS! | Ewwww. |
| You will do well here. | Ready am I? |
| Pics. | Imgur |
| Faaaaaaake. | Imgur i wasn't prepared for the nonbelievers |
| Lets go Red Wings! | Am i supposed to follow that with a "let's go"? |
| Imgur Imgur | Imgur |
| Do you regret destroying his family? | Hahahaha y would i regret something like that when i had no idea? that jerk did it to himself if it ended up destroying anything. the wife wouldn't leave a guy who's making a cpl million bucks a year anyway. |
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